,P>T #b 
,SI/]S 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,ALEX&RA ,KOLLONTAI 

,TEXT 3 

 ,%,E WAS ONE ( ! MANY :O CAME TO ME 9 ?OSE DIFFICULT DAYS 
 = ADVICE & SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE4 

 ,I HAD SE5 H] AT A NUMB] ( DELEGATE CONF]5CES1 & REMEMB]$ HAV+ BE5 /RUCK BY H] PRETTY1 RA!R 9T5SE FACE ) ITS P5SIVE BUT 9TELLIG5T EYES4 

 ,TO-DAY H] FACE WAS PALE1 ! EYES EV5 L>G] & SADD] ?AN USUAL4 

 0,I CAME TO Y\ BECAUSE !RE IS NO ONE ELSE TO :OM ,I CAN GO4 ,I 
 HAVE BE5 HOMELESS = ! PA/ ?REE WEEKS - ,I HAVE NO MONEY4 ,I 
 MU/ HAVE WORK6 ,IF ,I DON'T GET3 SOME MEANS ( E>N+ A LIV+ 
 SOON1 !RE IS ONLY ONE ?+ LEFT = ME - ! /REET40 
  

0,BUT1 LET ME SEE4 ,IF ,I REMEMB] RI<TLY Y\ W]E 
 WORK+4 ,Y\ HAD A GOOD POSITION4 ,W]E Y\ DIS*>G$80 

 0,YES4 ,I WORK$ 9 ! %IPP+ DEP>TM5T ( \R PUBLI%+ H\SE UNTIL TWO MON?S AGO1 :5 ,I LO/ MY PLACE 444 BECAUSE ( MY BABY4 ,IT WAS SO SICK1 & ,I HAD TO /AY AT HOME AGA9 & AGA9  
TO TAKE C>E ( IT4 ,IT DI$ TWO WEEKS AFT] ,I LO/ MY POSITION1 BUT ,I WAS NOT TAK5 BACK40 

 ,I FELT ?AT ! B[$ HEAD & ! LONG LA%ES W]E CONCEAL+ 
 UN%$ TE>S ( HELPLESS MIS]Y4 

 0,BUT :Y W]E Y\ DIS*>G$8 ,WAS Y\R WORK UNSATISFACTORY80 

 0,NO1 ON ! CONTR>Y1 ,I AM CONSID]$ AN EFFICI5T WORK]4 ,BUT 
 MY HUSB& HAS A GOOD 9COME - HE IS AN IMPORTANT (FICIAL 9 ! 
 ,COMB9AT4 44 40 

 0,BUT IF ?AT IS ! CASE1 Y\ >E NOT 
 )\T MEANS4 ,HAVE Y\ SEP>AT$80 

 0,NO1 WE HAVE NOT SEP>AT$ 444 ?AT IS1 ,I SIMPLY LEFT HIM1 & ,I CANNOT GO BACK4 ,NO MATT] :AT HAPP5S TO ME 444 ,I WILL NEV] GO BACK4 ,ANY?+ BUT ?AT40 

 ,! LONG LA%ES NO LONG] HID ! TE>S 9 H] EYES4 

 0,=GIVE ME6 ,I NEV] CRY4 ,I W5T ?R\< ?IS PURGATORY )\T 
 TE>S4 ,BUT Y\R K9DNESS1 Y\R SYMPA?Y444 MAKE IT H>D TO 
 BE>4444 ,LET ME TELL Y\ AB\T IT1 SO ?AT Y\ MAY UND]/&40 
  

,%E HAD MET H] HUSB& AT ! HEI<T ( ! 
 REVOLUTION>Y UPRIS+4 ,AT ?AT TIME HE WAS A COMPOSITOR 9 ! 
 PUBLI%+ H\SE 9 :OSE %IPP+ DEP>TM5T %E WAS 
 EMPLOY$4 ,BO? SYMPA?IZ$  
/RONGLY ) ! ,BOL%EVI/ CAUSE1 & !IR BURN+ 5?USIASM = ! ,REVOLUTION ?AT WAS TO %AKE (F ! YOKE ( EXPLOITATION TO BUILD UP A NEW & A MORE JU/ WORLD1 DREW !M TOGE!R4 ,!Y BO? LOV$ BOOKS ) ! DEVOTION ?AT *>ACT]IZES ?OSE :O1 SELF-TAU<T1 FI<T A CON/ANT1 NEV]-5D+ BATTLE AGA9/ !IR $UCATIONAL LIMITATIONS4 ,! ,REVOLUTION1 9 ITS DIZZY :IRL ( 9T5SE ACTIVITY1 HAD F\ND WORK = !M BO? DUR+ ?OSE MAD ,OCTOB] DAYS4 ,& 9 ! FIRE ( BATTLE1 TO ! S\ND ( RATTL+ MA*9E GUNS1 !IR HE>TS HAD F\ND EA* O!R4 ,!RE WAS NO TIME TO LEGALIZE !IR UNION4 ,EA* CONT9U$ TO LIVE HIS [N LIFE2 !Y MET DUR+ H\RS ( WORK1 HAPPY 9 ! GL[ REFLECT$ FROM /OL5 H\RS ( PASSIONATE COMPANION%IP4 ,!Y W]E LEGALLY M>RI$ A YE> LAT]1 :5 %E BECAME PREGNANT1 & LOOK$ =W>D HOPEFULLY TO ! COM+ ( !IR LITTLE ONE TO ! MODE/ HOME 9 :I* !Y N[ LIV$ TOGE!R4 ,BUT ) ! BIR? ( ! LITTLE GIRL1 COMPLICATIONS SET 94 ,%E C\LD NOT RESIGN H]SELF TO ! ?\<T ( CONC5TRAT+ H] 5TIRE ACTIVITY UPON H] HOME4 ,SURELY WORK WAS AS IMPORTANT = ! WOMAN AS = ! MAN1 & MU/ NOT BE SET ASIDE = FAMILY CONSID]ATIONS4 ,%E URG$ ! CREATION ( A DAY-NURS]Y  
= ! BABIES ( WORK+ WOM51 & WAS SUCCESSFUL 9 SEE+ IT E/ABLI%$4 ,BUT NEW DIFFICULTIES >OSE ALMO/ AT ONCE4 ,H] WORK & ! C>E ( ! BABY1 ! ?\S& LITTLE M9I/RATIONS ?AT ITS COM=T AT HOME DEM&$1 LEFT LITTLE TIME = ! DEM&S ( ! H\SEHOLD4 ,H] HUSB& GRUMBL$1 & :ILE ADMITT+ ! TRU? ( HIS REMON/RANCES1 %E C\LD NOT QUITE ADMIT !IR JU/IFICATION4 ,WAS HE EV] AT HOME8 ,& WAS HE NOT PR\D ( H] :5 %E WAS ELECT$ DELEGATE TO ! ,RAYON ,CONGRESS8 

 0,BUT WON'T Y\ BE SULKY IF D9N] IS COLD80 %E HAD TEAS$ HIM 
 :5 HE CONGRATULAT$ H] ON H] SUCCESS4 

 0,BAH1 COLD D9N]1 FIDDLE/ICKS6 ,SEE TO IT ?AT Y\ DO NOT BECOME COLD AFT] MEET+ SO MANY NEW & 9T]E/+ M5 !RE4 ,ONE NEV] CAN TELL1 Y\ KN[4 ,BETT] BE C>EFUL40 

 ,!Y HAD LAU<$ GAILY AT ! ?\<T4 ,C\LD ANY?+ CL\D SU* 
 LOVE AS !IRS8 ,!Y W]E SO MU* MORE ?AN MAN & 
 WIFE - COMRADES :O W5T ?R\< LIFE H& 9 H&1 :O ASPIR$ 
 TO ! SAME IDEALS1 ) NEV] A ?\<T ( !MSELVES4 ,ONLY 
 !IR WORK1 ?AT1 & EA* O!R4 ,& !  
BABY1 ( C\RSE1 ! DE>1 JOY\S1 HEAL?Y GIRL BABY6 

 ,H[ WAS IT POSSIBLE ?AT ALL ?IS HAD *ANG$ SO8 ,P]HAPS ! 
 ,COMB9AT8 ,SOMETIMES %E ?\<T4 444 ,!Y HAD REJOIC$ AT HIS 
 APPO9TM5T1 ( C\RSE4 ,IT MEANT A LITTLE EASE & COM=T AFT] 
 ! H>D LIFE !Y HAD BE5 LEAD+2 NO MORE />VATION1 NO MORE 
 WORN-\T1 UGLY CLO!S1 NO ANXIETY LE/ LACK ( FUNDS CLOSE ! 
 NURS]Y & LEAVE H] ) ! PROBLEM ( CONFLICT+ WORK & 
 FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES4 ,:5 ! NEW APPO9TM5T CAME1 H] 
 HUSB& HAD URG$ H] TO GIVE UP H] JOB4 ,IT IRK$ HIS PRIDE 
 ?AT %E %\LD CONT9UE TO WORK = WAGES1 N[ ?AT HE WAS ABLE 
 TO SUPPORT HIS FAMILY4 ,BUT %E RES5T$ ! V]Y SUGGE/ION4 ,%E 
 WAS ACCU/OM$ TO ! DAILY 9T]C\RSE ) H] FELL[ WORK]S1 
 & 5JOY$ ! RESPONSIBILITIES ( H] DAILY TASK4 ,BESIDES1 %E 
 HAT$ ! ?\<T ( DEP5D5CE1 %E :O HAD TAK5 C>E ( 
 H]SELF S9CE ! DAYS ( H] E>LIE/ Y\?4 ,/ILL1 ?+S 
 W]E EASI]4 ,!Y MOV$ 9TO MORE COM=TABLE QU>T]S - TWO 
 ROOMS & A KIT*5 - -& 5GAG$ A GIRL TO TAKE C>E ( ! 
 BABY1 :ILE %E DEVOT$ H]SELF MORE 9T5SELY ?AN EV] TO H] 
 WORK 9 ! ,RAYON4 ,H] HUSB&  
WAS BUSY1 TOO4 ,HE SP5T ONLY HIS SLEEP+ H\RS AT HOME4 

 ,?US !Y LIV$ BUSY BUT HAPPY DAYS UNTIL H] HUSB& WAS S5T 
 AWAY TO ACCOMPANY SEV]AL ,NEPM5 ON A BUS9ESS TRIP4 ,A /RANG] 
 RETURN$ TO H]1 ONE :O WORE F9E CLO!S & US$ P]FUME1 :O 
 B>ELY LI/5$ :5 %E SPOKE ( ! ?+S ?AT HAD =M]LY 
 9T]E/$ BO? ( !M4 ,HE BEGAN TO DR9K1 HE :O HAD NEV]1 
 ) ! POSSIBLE EXCEPTION ( AN OCCASIONAL HOLIDAY1 US$ 
 LIQUOR BE=E4 ,DUR+ ! ,REVOLUTION !RE HAD BE5 NO TIME = 
 ALCOHOL4 

 ,! FIR/ TIME HE CAME HOME UND] ! 9FLU5CE ( LIQUOR %E WAS FRI<T5$ RA!R ?AN GRIEV$4 0,IT WILL HURT HIM10 %E ?\<T1 ANXI\SLY4 0,HIS REPUTATION WILL SUFF]40 ,BUT :5 %E REPROA*$ HIM ! FOLL[+ MORN+ HE DRANK HIS TEA MOROSELY & REFUS$ TO ANSW]4 ,?REE DAYS LAT] HE WAS DRUNK AGA91 ?IS TIME SO HELPLESSLY ?AT %E C\LD SC>CELY GET HIM 9TO B$4 ,IT WAS DISGU/+4 ,EV5 :5 ONE LOV$ A MAN ) ALL ONE'S HE>T1 IT WAS DISGU/+4 ,V@9H5 %E APPROA*$ ! SUBJECT AGA9 ! FOLL[+ DAY HE LOOK$ AT H] ) EYES SO FULL ( HATR$ & RES5TM5T ?AT ! WORDS %E W\LD HAVE SPOK5 /UCK 9 H] ?ROAT4 

 ,AFT] ?AT HE CAME HOME DRUNK5 MORE & MORE FREQU5TLY4 ,IT WAS 
 9TOL]ABLE4 ,%E US$ TO L+] AT HOME 9 ! MORN+ UNTIL HE 
 BECAME SOB]1 TO URGE HIM TO M5D HIS WAYS1 TO %[ HIM ?AT 
 ?IS C\LD NOT GO ON4 ,%E %[$ HIM :AT HE HAD MADE ( !IR 
 M>RIAGE - COMRADES NO LONG]1 N[1 BUT A MAN & A WOMAN1 :OM 
 ONLY ! COMMON M>RIAGE B$ HELD TOGE!R4 ,%E W>N$ HIM1 %E 
 CALL$ HIM TO %AME1 %E WEPT4 444 ,AT FIR/ 
HE LI/5$1 TRI$ TO DEF5D HIMSELF4 ,%E DID NOT UND]/&4 ,HE MU/ GO AB\T ) !SE ,NEPM54 ,IF ONE DID NOT TAKE P>T 9 !IR AMUSEM5TS1 ONE C\LD NOT DO BUS9ESS ) !M4 ,OCCASIONALLY HE W\LD BECOME ?\<TFUL1 W\LD ADMIT ?AT HE HIMSELF WAS BECOM+ TIR$ ( ! LIFE HIS POSITION WAS =C+ HIM TO LEAD4 ,?OSE W]E ! TIMES :5 HE W\LD PLEAD ) H] TO BE PATI5T1 TAK+ H] HEAD BETWE5 HIS H&S & LOOK+ DEEPLY 9TO H] EYES1 S5D+ H] LI<!>T$LY TO H] WORK 
ONCE MORE4 

 ,A WEEK LAT] HE WAS HOPELESSLY DRUNK5 AGA94 ,HE P\ND$ ! 
 TABLE ) HIS FI/S :5 %E SPOKE TO HIM4 0,M9D Y\R 
 BUS9ESS4 ,!Y ALL LIVE LIKE ?IS4 ,GO AWAY1 IF Y\ DON'T LIKE 
 IT4 ,NO ONE IS HOLD+ Y\ H]E60 

 ,%E W5T ?R\< ! DAY AFT] ?AT SC5E ) 
AN 9TOL]ABLE HURT 9 H] BREA/4 ,WAS IT POSSIBLE ?AT HE NO LONG] C>$ = H]8 ,DID HE WANT H] TO LEAVE HIM8 ,BUT HE WAS DEEPLY CONTRITE ?AT EV5+1 & APOLOGIZ$ ABJECTLY = ! ?+S HE HAD SAID4 ,!Y TALK$ IT ALL OV] AGA9 & AGA91 & H] HE>T FELT LI<T1 CONFID5T ONCE MORE4 

 ,%E UND]/OOD1 ( C\RSE4 ,IT WAS ?IS COMPANY HE WAS =C$ TO 
 KEEP4 ,HE E>N$ HIS MONEY EASILY1 & HAD TO SP5D AS ! O!RS 
 DID4 ,M5 W]E LIKE ?AT4 ,!Y C\LD NOT REFUSE TO JO9 ! 
 RE/4 ,HE TOLD H] /ORIES ( ! LIVES !SE ,NEPM5 L$1 !Y 
 & !IR WIVES1 ( H[ !Y DID BUS9ESS1 & H[ H>D IT WAS 
 = A WORK] TO BEAT !SE %>KS AT !IR [N GAME4 

 ,IT ALL MADE H] V]Y UNHAPPY4 ,%E WAS MORE DEJECT$ ?AN %E HAD BE5 S9CE ! DAYS BE=E ! ,REVOLUTION HAD PUT AN 5D TO ! MIS]Y ( ! W>4 ,! GLORY ( ! ,REVOLUTION WAS GIV+ WAY TO BITT] REALITIES - !SE ,NEPM51 & ! ?REAT5+ R$UCTION ( WORK]S DUE TO ! NEW POLICY ( EXP5SE RETR5*M5T4 

 ,= IT WAS AT ?IS TIME ?AT %E FIR/ HE>D ?AT %E W\LD 
 PROBABLY BE AFFECT$ BY ! COM+ LAY(F4 ,H] HUSB& TOOK ! 
 NEWS ( H] COM+ DIS*>GE ) MADD5+ CALMNESS4 0,ON ! 
 :OLE10 
HE ?\<T1 0NOT A BAD ?+ = BO? ( US4 ,Y\ W\LD BE AT HOME TO ATT5D TO ! H\SEHOLD AS IT %\LD BE LOOK$ AFT]4 ,LOOK AT IT N[ - IMPOSSIBLE TO 9VITE RESPECTABLE PEOPLE TO VISIT 9 A PLACE LIKE ?IS40 

 ,:5 %E REMON/RAT$ 9DIGNANTLY ) HIM HE GREW IMPATI5T4 

 0,ALL RI<T1 ALL RI<T4 ,AFT] ALL1 IT'S Y\R BUS9ESS1 ,I SUPPOSE4 ,I'M NOT H9D]+ Y\4 ,KEEP ON WORK+1 IF Y\ *OOSE40 

 ,IT HURT H] DEEPLY TO ?9K ?AT H] HUSB& WAS (F5D$2 HURT 
 /ILL MORE TO ?9K ?AT HE DID NOT UND]/& H]4 ,%E 
 P]SI/$ NEV]!LESS4 ,%E W5T TO 9FLU5TIAL COMRADES1 >GU$ 
 ) !M1 ALMO/ QU>REL$ ) !M AT !IR REFUSAL TO 
 UND]/& ?AT H] HUSB&'S 9COME HAD NO?+ TO DO ) H] 
 RI<T TO WORK1 & 9 ! 5D ACTUALLY P]SUAD$ !M TO 
 RECONSID] H] DISMISSAL4 ,BUT %E HAD SC>CELY ADJU/$ MATT]S 
 :5 H] LITTLE ONE BECAME S]I\SLY ILL4 

 0,Y\ CANNOT IMAG9E ! WRET*$NESS ( ?OSE NI<TS1 SITT+ ALONE ) MY UNHAPPY ?\<TS BESIDE ! BABY'S B$4 ,I WAS SO DESP]ATELY LONELY1 SO ANXI\S = ! FUTURE6 ,ONE NI<T ! DOOR-BELL  
RANG4 ,I RAN AS USUAL TO OP5 ! DOOR = MY HUSB&1 GLAD TO HAVE HIM ) ME4 ,SOMEONE TO :OM ,I C\LD SPEAK ( MY FE>S1 SOMEONE :O LOV$ ! LITTLE ONE4 ,IF ONLY HE WAS NOT DRUNK54 444 ,:5 ,I OP5$ ! DOOR ,I C\LD H>DLY BELIEVE MY EYES4 ,A Y\NG WOMAN /OOD BESIDE HIM1 R\G$ & DRUNK51 AN UNMI/AKABLE TYPE4 ',LET US 91 WIFE1' HE SAID1 GR&LY1 ) A DRUNK>D'S SWAGG]4' ',S A LITTLE FRI5D ,I BR\<T ) ME TO-NI<T4 ',WANT TO 5JOY LIFE LIKE ! RE/ ( !M1 5JOY LIFE1 ,I SAY4444,LEAVE US ALONE4' 

 0,MY KNEES %OOK4 ,!Y W5T TOGE!R1 LAU<+ 9ANELY1 9TO ! 
 LIV+-ROOM :]E MY HUSB& USUALLY SLEPT4 ,I HURRI$ BACK TO 
 ! BABY1 :O BEGAN TO :IMP] AT ! NOISE1 & LOCK$ ! DOOR 
 BEH9D ME4 ,I CALM$ ! LITTLE ONE1 & !N SAT !RE BESIDE 
 H] B$1 />+ BE=E ME AS MY WORLD CRUMBL$ 9TO A%ES4 ,I 
 WAS NOT ANGRY AT HIM4 ,:AT CAN ONE EXPECT ( A DRUNK5 MAN8 ,BUT 
 IT WAS HORRIBLE4 ,ONE C\LD HE> EV]Y S\ND 9 ! NEXT ROOM4 ,I 
 LONG$ TO HOLD MY H&S OV] MY E>S1 BUT ! LITTLE ONE NE$$ 
 CON/ANT ATT5TION4 ,=TUNATELY !Y SOON QUIET$ D[N - !Y 
 W]E TOO DRUNK5 TO /AY AWAKE4 ,T[>D MORN+ ,I HE>D MY 
 HUSB& OP5 ! DOOR = ! WOMAN4 ,HE HIMSELF W5T BACK TO 
 SLEEP4 

 0,HE SLIPP$ \T ( ! H\SE ?AT MORN+ )\T SEE+ ME4 ,:5 HE RETURN$ 9 ! EV5+ ,I DID NOT LOOK UP4 ,HE BURI$ HIMSELF 9 HIS PAP]S1 BUT ,I CAU<T OCCASIONAL /EAL?Y GLANCES 9 MY DIRECTION4 ',LOT HIM1' ,I ?\<T4 ',HE WILL PROBABLY BEG TO BE =GIV51 ONLY TO GO BACK TO HIS OLD WAYS AGA94' ,BUT ,I WAS ?R\<4 ,I WAS DET]M9$ TO LEAVE HIM4 ,YET MY HE>T A*$ AT ! ?\<T4 ,I /ILL LOV$ HIM 444 :Y D5Y IT4 ,I LOVE HIM EV5 N[1 :5 IT IS ALL OV]4 ,BUT IT IS AS IF HE W]E DEAD4 ,N[ ,I C\LD NOT GO BACK TO HIM AGA94 ,BUT AT ?AT TIME MY FEEL+S = HIM W]E /ILL ALIVE4 

 0,DULLY ,I REMEMB]$ A ,RAYON MEET+ ,I HAD PROMIS$ TO ATT5D & 
 SLIPP$ 9TO MY COAT4 ,BUT BE=E ,I REA*$ ! DOOR HE HAD 
 JUMP$ UP FROM HIS *AIR1 & BORE D[N ON ME ) AN 9CR$IBLE 
 RAGE4 ,!RE W]E BLUE SPOTS ON MY >M AFT]W>DS1 :]E HE HAD 
 HELD ME AS HE'D PULL$ (F MY COAT & FLUNG IT TO ! 
 FLOOR4 

 0',I'M ?OR\<LY TIR$ ( Y\R HY/]ICS1' HE %\T$4 ',:]E >E Y\ GO+8 ,:AT DO Y\ WANT ( ME8 ,Y\ WILL HAVE TO GO F> TO F9D ANO!R HUSB& LIKE ME1 ABLE TO TAKE C>E ( Y\ & GIVE Y\ 
A DEC5T HOME & RESPECTABLE CLO!S4 ,I FULFILL Y\R EV]Y WI%4 ,:AT RI<T HAVE Y\ TO SIT 9 JUDGM5T OV] ME8' 

 0,HE TALK$ & TALK$ - 5DLESSLY4 ,HE RAG$1 HE EXPLA9$1 HE 
 TRI$ TO JU/IFY HIMSELF4 ,& BECAUSE ,I SAW ?AT HIS FACE WAS 
 DI/ORT$1 BECAUSE ,I SAW ?AT HE WAS SUFF]+1 ,I WAS SO SORRY 
 = HIM ?AT ,I =GOT EV]Y?+ ELSE4 ,I /ILL LOV$ HIM SO V]Y 
 MU*1 Y\ SEE4 ,P]HAPS IF ,I 5C\RAG$ HIM1 %[$ HIM ?AT 
 ?+S W]E NOT AS BAD AS !Y LOOK$1 ?AT HE WAS NOT TO BLAME1 
 ?AT !SE ,NEPM54444 

 0,SO WE W]E RECONCIL$ TO EA* 
 O!R ONCE MORE4 ,BUT ,I HAD TO PROMISE NEV] TO BE ANGRY ) HIM 
 AGA94 ,( C\RSE HE W\LD NEV] HAVE BR\<T HOME ?IS WOMAN IF 
 HE HAD NOT BE5 DRUNK4 ,I PLEAD$ ) HIM TO /OP 
 DR9K+4 ,EV]Y?+ W\LD BE DIFF]5T - ,I HADN'T M9D$ ! 
 PRO/ITUTE NE>LY AS MU*1 ,I ASSUR$ HIM1 AS ! BE/IALITY ( 
 IT ALL4 ,HE PROMIS$ TO CONTROL HIMSELF4 ,HE W\LD 9 ! FUTURE 
 AVOID !SE M5 :O W]E LEAD+ HIM TO DE/RUCTION4 

 0,BUT1 ( C\RSE1 ! ?ORN REMA9$4 ,C\LD HE HAVE DONE A ?+ LIKE ?AT1 ,I ASK$ MYSELF OV] & OV] AGA91 IF HE /ILL LOV$ ME8 ,W\LD HE HAVE VISIT$ A WOMAN LIKE ?AT DUR+ ?OSE DAYS  
9 ! ,REVOLUTION :5 WE W]E SO HAPPY TOGE!R8 ,ONE ( MY FRI5DS1 F> PRETTI] & Y\NG] ?AN ,I1 HAD SET H] CAP = HIM :5 WE FIR/ MET EA* O!R4 ,BUT HE HAD NOT EV5 NOTIC$ H]4 ,I TRI$ TO SPEAK ( ?IS TO HIM4 ,HE MU/ TELL ME1 IF HE NO LONG] C>$ = ME4 ,I W\LD NOT /& 9 HIS WAY4 ,BUT HE BECAME ANGRY AT ONCE1 & ?UND]$ AT ME ?AT ,I WAS DRIV+ HIM \T ( ! H\SE ) ?IS SILLY WOMAN'S TALK4 ,DEVIL TAKE ME & ALL WOM56 ,JU/ :5 HE WAS SO BUSY1 TOO1 ?AT HE DIDN'T KN[ HIS HEAD FROM HIS HEELS = BUS9ESS WORRIES6 

 0,SO MATT]S DRIFT$ ALONG4 ,MEAN:ILE MY DIS*>GE BECAME MORE 
 & MORE IMM95T4 ,MY LITTLE DAU<T] WAS /ILL SICK1 & IT WAS 
 TOO MU* TO EXPECT !M TO HOLD A POSITION = ME ?AT ,I WAS1 
 = ! TIME BE+1 SO OBVI\SLY 9CAPABLE ( FILL+4 ,I 
 REMA9$ AT HOME1 & TRI$ TO MAKE ! HOME MORE COM=TABLE 
 = MY HUSB&4 ,I /ILL HOP$ ?AT ?+S MI<T *ANGE = ! 
 BETT]1 MEAN:ILE TRY+ EV]Y?+ POSSIBLE TO HOLD MY 
 POSITION4 ,! ?\<T ( ABSOLUTE F9ANCIAL DEP5D5CE ON MY 
 HUSB& AT ?IS TIME ?REW ME 9TO BLANK DESPAIR4 ,WE OCCUPI$ 
 ! SAME ROOMS1 BUT LIV$ AS /RANG]S4 ,WE SAW V]Y LITTLE ( 
 EA* O!R4 ,HE HAD EV5 LO/ 9T]E/ 9 ! LITTLE ONE4 ,HE 
 H>DLY LOOK$  
AT H]4 ,HE DRANK LESS1 IT IS TRUE1 & CAME HOME SOB] MO/ ( ! TIME4 ,BUT IT WAS AS IF ,I HAD CEAS$ TO EXI/4 ,HE SLEPT ON ! DIVAN 9 ! LIV+-ROOM1 :ILE ,I /AY$ 9 ! B$ROOM BESIDE MY LITTLE GIRL4 ,OCCASIONALLY HE CAME 9 TO ME AT NI<T4 ,BUT !RE WAS NO JOY 9 HIS EMBRACES4 ,! DAYS ?AT FOLL[$ !M W]E1 IF POSSIBLE1 MORE DRE>Y - AS IF NEW SUFF]+ HAD BE5 ADD$ TO ! OLD4 ,HE TOOK ME AS A MATT] ( C\RSE1 & APP>5TLY NEV] ?\<T ( ! ?+S ?AT MU/ BE GO+ ON 9 MY M9D4444,?US WE LIV$ 444 ,LONELY4 ,SIL5T4 

 0,JU/ BE=E ! BABY DI$1 ,I WAS DEF9ITELY DIS*>G$4 ,!RE 
 WAS A DIM RAY ( HOPE 9 MY ANGUI% :5 %E LEFT US4 ',WE WILL 
 SUFF] TOGE!R1 N[1 WE TWO1' ,I ?\<T4 ',IT WILL BR+ HIM 
 BACK TO ME4' ,BUT ,I WAS MI/AK54 ,HE DID NOT EV5 ATT5D ! 
 FUN]AL - AN IMPORTANT MEET+4 ,I WAS LEFT ALONE ) MY 
 SORR[ - )\T WORK1 DEP5D5T = SUPPORT ON A MAN :O NO 
 LONG] C>$ = ME4 

 0,!RE WAS WORK 5\< TO BE DONE 9 ! ,RAYON4 ,BUT IT WAS VOLUNT>Y WORK1 P>TY PROPAG&A1 $UCATIONAL WORK1 ORGANIZATION TASKS4 ,?IS SORT ( WORK WAS NOT PAID1 ( C\RSE4 ,NOR C\LD ,I ASK = A POSITION :5 SO MANY W]E \T ( WORK4 ,WAS NOT MY HUSB& A WELL-PAID (FICIAL8 ,I TRI$ & TRI$1 BUT !RE WAS NO?+ TO BE HAD4 ,I TRI$ TO BE PATI5T4 ,I /ILL HOP$ - SOME?+ MI<T HAPP5 - WE WOM5 >E SO FOOLI%4 ,IT WAS SO OBVI\S ?AT MY HUSB& NO LONG] C>$ = ME4 ,& )9 ME1 TOO1 BITT]NESS & RES5TM5T W]E SL[LY KILL+ ! LOVE ?AT REMA9$4 ,/ILL ,I WAIT$4 ,EA* MORN+ ,I WOKE UP1 HOP+ AGA9/ HOPE = A MIRACLE4 ,AT NI<T ,I HURRI$ HOME FROM ! ,RAYON LIKE A *ILD - P]HAPS HE IS AT HOME1 WAIT+ = Y\6 ,P]HAPS4 444 ,BUT EV5 :5 HE WAS AT HOME1 IT MADE NO DIFF]5CE 9 MY LONEL9ESS4 ,HE PAID NO ATT5TION TO ME1 HE WAS BUSY ) HIS WORK4 ,COMRADES CAME1 ,NEPM54 ,/ILL ,I HOP$ & WAIT$4 ,UNTIL ?AT HAPP5$ :I* MADE ME LEAVE HIM4 ,DEF9ITELY1 ?IS TIME4 ,NEV] TO RETURN TO HIM AGA94 

 0,I HAD RETURN$ LATE FROM A MEET+ ?AT NI<T & WAS JU/ 
 LI<T+ ! SAMOV> = A CUP ( TEA :5 ,I HE>D ! \T] 
 DOOR OP5 S(TLY4 ,S9CE ?AT EPISODE MY HUSB& C>RI$ HIS [N 
 KEY4 ,HE W5T DIRECTLY TO HIS ROOM1 AS USUAL4 ,AFT] A FEW MOM5TS 
 ,I RECALL$ A PACKAGE ?AT HAD COME TO HIM BY SPECIAL MESS5G] 
 ?AT AFT]NOON4 ,I W5T TO MY ROOM TO GET IT1 & TOOK IT 9 TO 
 HIM4 ,:AT ,I SAW !RE - IT WAS EV5 H>D] TO GRASP ?AN ! 
 FIR/ TIME4 ,= HE WAS NOT DRUNK4 ,!RE BESIDE MY  
HUSB& /OOD A TALL1 SL5D] WOMAN4 ,!Y BO? TURN$ TO LOOK AT ME1 & \R EYES MET4 

 0,I CAN JU/ DIMLY RECOLLECT :AT HAPP5$ AFT] ?AT4 ,I BELIEVE ,I MANAG$ TO TELL HIM CALMLY AS ,I 
LAID IT ON ! TABLE1 ?AT ! PACKAGE HAD COME = HIM BY SPECIAL MESS5G]4 ,!N ,I W5T TO MY ROOM4 ,BUT :5 ,I WAS ALONE ONCE MORE MY LIMBS %OOK SO ?AT ,I C\LD H>DLY CONTROL !M4 ,FE>FUL ( BETRAY+ MYSELF TO ?OSE TWO 9 ! NEXT ROOM ,I CREPT 9TO B$ & DREW ! COV]S OV] MY HEAD4 ,I W\LDN'T HE>1 W\LDN'T FEEL6 ,BUT :O CAN ESCAPE ! TORTURE ( HIS ?\<TS8 

 0,I HE>D !IR VOICES1 H]S L\D] ?AN HIS1 AS IF %E W]E 
 UPBRAID+ HIM4 ',P]HAPS HE IS H] LOV]1 & %E HAS JU/ 
 DISCOV]$ ?AT HE IS M>RI$4 ,AT ?IS MOM5T HE MAY BE D5Y+ 
 ?AT ,I AM HIS WIFE6' ,I ?\<T ( EV]Y POSSIBILITY1 & EA* 
 ?\<T BR\<T UNTOLD MIS]Y4 ,I HAD SUFF]$ LESS1 BITT]LY AS 
 ,I WAS HURT1 :5 HE BR\<T ! PRO/ITUTE 9TO \R HOME4 ,HE HAD 
 DONE ?AT AFT] A DRUNK5 SPREE4 ,BUT ?IS - 4 ,N[ ,I KNEW ?AT HE 
 NO LONG] C>$ = ME4 ,NOT EV5 AS ONE C>ES = A COMRADE OR A 
 SI/]4 ,HE W\LD NOT HAVE BR\<T A WOMAN 9TO ! HOME 9 :I* 
 HIS SI/] LIV$4 ,HE W\LD HAVE %[N H] MORE RESPECT ?AN TO 
 BR+ SU* WOM5 - WOM5 ( ! /REETS 9TO ! ROOMS %E 
 OCCUPI$4 ,?IS1 TOO1 MU/ BE ONE ( !M4 ,NO DEC5T WOMAN W\LD 
 HAVE COME ) HIM AT ?IS H\R ( 
! NI<T6 ,A FLOOD ( RAGE AT ?IS WOMAN TOOK POSSESSION ( ME4 ,I C\LD HAVE RU%$ 9TO ! ROOM 9 :I* %E LAY ) MY HUSB& & DRIV5 H] \T ( ! H\SE4 

 0,?US ,I LAY1 SLEEPLESS1 UNTIL ! DAWN BROKE4 ,!N IT SEEM$ TO 
 ME ?AT ,I HE>D /EAL?Y FOOT/EPS ON ! CORRIDOR4 ,IT MU/ BE 
 %E6 ,! KIT*5-DOOR OP5$ S(TLY4 ,:AT DID %E WANT !RE1 ,I 
 ASK$ MYSELF 9DIGNANTLY8 ,I WAIT$ T5SELY4 ,%E DID NOT 
 RETURN4 ,) SUDD5 RESOLUTION ,I JUMP$ \T ( MY B$ & W5T 
 9TO ! KIT*54 ,%E WAS SITT+ ON ! LITTLE B5* BY ! 
 W9D[1 H] HEAD B[$ D[N1 CRY+ BITT]LY4 ,H] FAIR HAIR WAS 
 SO LONG IT ALMO/ COV]$ H] SLIM BODY4 ,:5 %E LOOK$ UP AT 
 ME AS ,I OP5$ ! KIT*5 DOOR1 ,I WAS DISMAY$ AT ! SUFF]+ 
 9 H] EYES4 ,I APPROA*$ & %E ROSE TO MEET ME4 

 0',=GIVE ME1' %E :ISP]$1'= HAV+ COME 9TO Y\R HOME4 ,I DID NOT KN[1 ( C\RSE4 ,I ?\<T HE LIV$ ALONE4 ,?AT MAKES IT SO H>D1 SO V]Y MU* H>D] TO BE>4' 0,AT FIR/ ,I DID NOT UND]/&4',?IS IS NO PRO/ITUTE1' ,I ?\<T4 ',%E IS HIS FRI5D4' ,& ! WORDS ',DO Y\ LOVE HIM8' CAME IMPULSIVELY TO MY LIPS4 

 0,%E LOOK$ AT ME ) L>GE1 A/ONI%$ EYES4 ',I NEV] SAW HIM 
 BE=E4 ,WE MET LA/ NI<T = ! FIR/ TIME4 ,HE PROMIS$ TO PAY 
 ME WELL4 ,IT DOES NOT MATT] TO ME :O ! MAN IS1 SO LONG AS HE 
 PAYS4' 

 0,H[ IT ALL HAPP5$ ,I CAN'T REMEMB]4 ,%E TOLD ME 
 H] /ORY - H[ %E HAD BE5 DIS*>G$ ?REE MON?S BE=E :5 
 ! R$UCTION ( LABOR WAS PUT 9TO EFFECT1 H[ UNHAPPY %E HAD 
 BE5 NOT TO BE ABLE TO HELP H] OLD MO!R :O WROTE ?AT %E 
 WAS />V+1 H[ %E HAD F9ALLY GONE ON ! /REET1 & HAD 
 BE5 =TUNATE 9 MAK+ ! ACQUA9TANCE ( AN AGREEABLE CIRCLE 
 ( M5 ALMO/ AT ONCE4 ,N[ %E WAS WELL DRESS$ & WELL F$1 
 & ABLE TO TAKE C>E ( H] MO!R4 444 ,%E WRUNG H] H&S AS 
 %E TOLD ME H] /ORY4 

 0',I MI<T BE A USEFUL WORK]1' %E ASSUR$ ME4 ',IT IS NOT ?AT ,I AM IGNORANT4 ,I HAVE MY GYMNASIUM DIPLOMA1 & ,I AM Y\NG - ONLY N9ETE54 ,TO ?9K ?AT ,I MU/ GO TO ! DOGS LIKE ?IS4' 

 0,IT IS H>D TO BELIEVE1 IS IT NOT1 ?AT ,I TREMBL$ ) SYMPA?Y 
 = ?IS UN=TUNATE CREATURE4 ,= IT /RUCK ME1 AS %E WAS 
 TELL+ H] /ORY1 ?AT ONLY MY HUSB&'S 9COME HAD SAV$ ME1 
 UP TO ?IS  
TIME1 FROM A SIMIL> SITUATION4 ,! HATR$ ?AT ,I HAD FELT = H] ?AT NI<T AS ,I LAY ON MY PILL[ WAS TURN$ AGA9/ MY HUSB& N[4 ,H[ D>$ HE EXPLOIT ! MIS=TUNE ( A POOR WOMAN1 A WORK+ MAN PR\D ( HIS UND]/&+ ( ! PROBLEMS ( HIS CLASS1 A MAN :O BOA/$ ( HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO ! PROLET>IAT6 ,HE :O %\LD HAVE HELP$ AN UNEMPLOY$ COMRADE 9 H] H\R ( NE$ BUYS H] BODY4 444 ,IT WAS SO UTT]LY REVOLT+ ?AT MY M9D WAS MADE UP AS %E SPOKE4 ,I C\LD NOT LIVE ) A CREATURE ( ?AT SORT A MOM5T LONG]4 

 0,WE DISCUSS$ ! :OLE QUE/ION :ILE WE LIT ! FIRE & 
 COOK$ \R C(FEE TOGE!R4 ,MY HUSB& WAS /ILL FA/ 
 ASLEEP4 ,:5 %E PREP>$ TO TAKE H] LEAVE ,I ASK$ H]1',DID HE 
 PAY Y\8' 

 0,%E BLU%$ FURI\SLY & ASSUR$ ME ?AT TO 
 TAKE MONEY AFT] %E HAD SPOK5 TO ME WAS \T ( ! QUE/ION4 ,I 
 UND]/OOD H] ANXIETY TO BE \T ( ! H\SE BE=E MY HUSB& 
 %\LD F9D H] ) ME1 & ,I DID NOT DETA9 H]4 ,WILL Y\ 
 UND]/& ME :5 ,I TELL Y\ ?AT ,I HAT$ TO HAVE H] GO8 ,IT 
 WAS AS IF %E W]E SOME DE> RELATIVE4444%E SEEM$ SO UNHAPPY1 
 SO Y\NG & SO ALONE 9 ! WORLD4 ,I F9ALLY DRESS$ & W5T 
 ) H]4 ,WE WALK$ ?R\< ! /REETS = A LONG TIME & 
 F9ALLY SAT D[N TOGE!R ON A B5* 9 A SMALL P>K4 ,I TOLD H] 
 ( MY UNHAPP9ESS4 ,I /ILL HAD MO/ ( MY LA/ SAL>Y LEFT & 
 P]SUAD$ H] TO ACCEPT 
IT FROM ME4 ,AT FIR/ %E REFUS$1 BUT %E TOOK IT F9ALLY ON CONDITION ?AT ,I COME TO H] 9 CASE ( NE$4 ,WE P>T$ LIKE SI/]S4 

 0,?AT NI<T MY LOVE = MY HUSB& DI$1 DI$ SUDD5LY AS IF IT 
 HAD NEV] BE54 ,!RE WAS NO PA91 NO FEEL+ ( (F5SE4 ,IT WAS 
 AS IF ,I HAD BURI$ HIM4 ,:5 ,I RETURN$ HOME HE WAS /ILL !RE1 
 VOCIF]\S 9 SELF-JU/IFICATION4 ,BUT ,I DID NOT ANSW]4 ,!RE 
 W]E NO TE>S1 NO RECRIM9ATIONS4 ,ON ! FOLL[+ DAY ,I MOV$ 
 MY FEW BELONG+S TO ! HOME ( A FRI5D & BEGAN TO LOOK = 
 WORK4 ,?AT WAS ?REE WEEKS AGO4 ,! \TLOOK HAS BE5 
 HOPELESS4 ,!N1 SEV]AL DAYS AGO1 SOME?+ OCCURR$ ?AT MADE 
 IT CLE> TO ME ?AT ,I C\LD /AY ) MY FRI5D NO LONG]4 ,I 
 W5T TO LOOK = ! GIRL MY HUSB& HAD BR\<T ) HIM ?AT 
 NI<T1 & WAS TOLD ?AT %E HAD BE5 TAK5 TO ! HOSPITAL ON 
 ! DAY BE=E4 444 ,SO ,I AM DRIFT+ AB\T )\T A HOME1 
 )\T WORK1 )\T MONEY4 ,WILL H] FATE BE M9E80 ,! TRAGIC1 
 DESPAIR+ EYES ( MY VISITOR ASK$  
?IS QUE/ION ( LIFE4 ,IT WAS 9 H] EYES - ! SORR[1 ! HORROR1 ! MIS]Y ( ?IS /RUGGLE AGA9/ ! WORK+MAN'S MO/ IMPLACABLE 5EMY - -UNEMPLOYM5T4 ,! EYES ( A DEF5SELESS WOMAN :O1 ALONE & S+LE-H&$1 IS FI<T+ ! OLD1 WORN\T ORD]4 

 ,%E HAS GONE1 BUT H] EYES /ILL HAUNT ME4 ,!Y DEM& AN 
 ANSW]4 ,ACTION1 CON/RUCTIVE ACTION4 ,/RUGGLE4 

 ,S\RCE3 ,A ,GREAT ,LOVE1 ,! ,VANGU>D ,PRESS1 ,NEW ,YORK1 #a#i#b#i4 

,TRANSLAT$3 ,LILY ,LORE 

,FIR/ ,PUBLI%$3 #aibc 

,ONL9E ,V]SION3 M>XI/S4ORG #ba 

,TRANSCRIPTION_/,M>KUP3 ,SALLY ,RYAN 

,FROM 3 ,M>XI/S4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,M>* #d1 #bba 3 ,P>T #b -- ,ADD$4 
,M>* #d1 #bba 3 ,P>T #b -- ,UPDAT$4 

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