,P>T #g #ahhbahhb ,PEOPLE 3 ,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY ,TEXT 3 ,NOT F9D+ AN EXPLANATION 9 SCI5CE ,I BEGAN TO SEEK = IT 9 LIFE1 HOP+ TO F9D IT AMONG ! PEOPLE >\ND ME4 ,& ,I BEGAN TO OBS]VE H[ ! PEOPLE >\ND ME - PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF - LIV$1 & :AT !IR ATTITUDE WAS TO ?IS QUE/ION :I* HAD BR\DS $UCATION & MANN] ( LIFE4 ,I F\ND ?AT = PEOPLE ( MY CIRCLE !RE W]E F\R WAYS \T ( ! T]RIBLE POSITION 9 :I* WE >E ALL PLAC$4 ,! FIR/ WAS ?AT ( IGNORANCE4 ,IT CONSI/S 9 NOT KN[+1 NOT UND]/&+1 ?AT LIFE IS AN EVIL & AN ABSURDITY4 ,PEOPLE ( ?IS SORT - *IEFLY WOM51 OR V]Y Y\NG OR V]Y DULL PEOPLE - HAVE NOT YET UND]/OOD ?AT QUE/ION ( LIFE :I* PRES5T$ ITSELF TO ,S*OP5HAU]1 ,SOLOMON1 & ,BUDDHA4 ,!Y SEE NEI!R ! DRAGON ?AT AWAITS !M NOR ! MICE GNAW+ ! %RUB BY :I* !Y >E HANG+1 & !Y LICK ! DROPS ( HONEY4 BUT !Y LICK ?OSE DROPS ( HONEY ONLY = A :ILE3 SOME?+ WILL TURN !IR ATT5TION TO ! DRAGON & ! MICE1 & !RE WILL BE AN 5D TO !IR LICK+4 ,FROM !M ,I HAD NO?+ TO LE>N - ONE CANNOT CEASE TO KN[ :AT ONE DOES KN[4 ,! SECOND WAY \T IS EPICUREANISM4 ,IT CONSI/S1 :ILE KN[+ ! HOPELESSNESS ( LIFE1 9 MAK+ USE MEAN:ILE ( ! ADVANTAGES ONE HAS1 DISREG>D+ ! DRAGON & ! MICE1 & LICK+ ! HONEY 9 ! BE/ WAY1 ESPECIALLY IF !RE IS MU* ( IT )9 REA*4 ,SOLOMON EXPRESSES ?IS WAY \T ?US3 0,!N ,I COMM5D$ MIR?1 BECAUSE A MAN HA? NO BETT] ?+ UND] ! SUN1 ?AN TO EAT1 & TO DR9K1 & TO BE M]RY3 & ?AT ?IS %\LD ACCOMPANY HIM 9 HIS LABOR ! DAYS ( HIS LIFE1 :I* ,GOD GIVE? HIM UND] ! SUN4 0,!RE=E EAT ?Y BREAD ) JOY & DR9K ?Y W9E ) A M]RY HE>T4444 ,LIVE JOYFULLY ) ! WIFE :OM ?\ LOVE/ ALL ! DAYS ( ! LIFE ( ?Y VANITY444= ?IS IS ?Y PORTION 9 LIFE & 9 ?Y LABORS :I* ?\ TAKE/ UND] ! SUN4444 ,:ATSOEV] ?Y H& F9DE? TO DO1 DO IT ) ?Y MIE ?AN ( H>D%IP1 & !IR MORAL DULLNESS MAKES IT POSSIBLE = !M TO =GET ?AT ! ADVANTAGE ( !IR POSITION IS ACCID5TAL1 & ?AT NOT EV]YONE CAN HAVE A ?\S& WIVES & PALACES LIKE ,SOLOMON1 ?AT = EV]YONE :O HAS A ?\S& WIVES !RE >E A ?\S& )\T A WIFE1 & ?AT = EA* PALACE !RE >E A ?\S& PEOPLE :O HAVE TO BUILD IT 9 ! SWEAT ( !IR BR[S2 & ?AT ! ACCID5T ?AT HAS TODAY MADE ME A ,SOLOMON MAY TOMORR[ MAKE ME A ,SOLOMON'S SLAVE4 ,! DULLNESS ( !SE PEOPLE'S IMAG9ATION 5ABLES !M TO =GET ! ?+S ?AT GAVE ,BUDDHA NO PEACE - ! 9EVITABILITY ( SICKNESS1 OLD AGE1 & DEA?1 :I* TODAY OR TOMORR[ WILL DE/ROY ALL !SE PLEASURES4 ,SO ?9K & FEEL ! MAJORITY ( PEOPLE ( \R DAY & \R MANN] ( LIFE4 ,! FACT ?AT SOME ( !SE PEOPLE DECL>E ! DULLNESS ( !IR ?\TIFICIALLY PRODUCE IT 9 MYSELF4 ,I C\LD NOT TE> MY EYES FROM ! MICE & ! DRAGON1 AS NO VITAL MAN CAN AFT] HE HAS ONCE SE5 !M4 ,! ?IRD ESCAPE IS ?AT ( /R5G? & 5]GY4 ,IT CONSI/S 9 DE/ROY+ LIFE1 :5 ONE HAS UND]/OOD ?AT IT IS AN EVIL & AN ABSURDITY4 ,A FEW EXCEPTIONALLY /RONG & CONSI/5T PEOPLE ACT SO4 ,HAV+ UND]/OOD ! /UPIDITY ( ! JOKE ?AT HAS BE5 PLAY$ ON !M1 & HAV+ UND]/OOD ?AT IT IS BETT] TO BE DEAD ?AN TO BE ALIVE1 & ?AT IT IS BE/ ( ALL NOT TO EXI/1 !Y ACT ACCORD+LY & PROMPTLY 5D ?IS /UPID JOKE1 S9CE !RE >E MEANS3 A ROPE R\ND ONE'S NECK1 WAT]1 A KNIFE TO /ICK 9TO ONE'S HE>T1 OR ! TRA9S ON ! RAILWAYS2 & ! NUMB] ( ?OSE ( \R CIRCLE :O ACT 9 ?IS WAY BECOMES GREAT] & GREAT]1 & = ! MO/ P>T !Y ACT SO AT ! BE/ TIME ( !IR LIFE1 :5 ! /R5G? ( !IR M9D IS 9 FULL BLOOM & FEW HABITS DEGRAD+ TO ! M9D HAVE AS YET BE5 ACQUIR$4 ,I SAW ?AT ?IS WAS ! WOR?IE/ WAY ( ESCAPE & ,I WI%$ TO ADOPT IT4 ,! F\R? WAY \T IS ?AT ( WEAKNESS4 ,IT CONSI/S 9 SEE+ ! TRU? ( ! SITUATION & YET CL++ TO LIFE1 KN[+ 9 ADVANCE ?AT NO?+ CAN COME ( IT4 ,PEOPLE ( ?IS K9D KN[ ?AT DEA? IS BETT] ?AN LIFE1 BUT NOT HAV+ ! /R5G? TO ACT RATIONALLY - TO 5D ! DECEPTION QUICKLY & KILL !MSELVES - !Y SEEM TO WAIT = SOME?+4 ,?IS IS ! ESCAPE ( WEAKNESS1 = IF ,I KN[ :AT IS BE/ & IT IS )9 MY P[]1 :Y NOT YIELD TO :AT IS BE/8 444 ,I F\ND MYSELF 9 ?AT CATEGORY4 ,SO PEOPLE ( MY CLASS EVADE ! T]RIBLE CONTRADICTION 9 F\R WAYS4 ,/RA9 MY ATT5TION AS ,I W\LD1 ,I SAW NO WAY EXCEPT ?OSE F\R4 ,ONE WAY WAS NOT TO UND]/& ?AT LIFE IS S5SELESS1 VANITY1 & AN EVIL1 & ?AT IT IS BETT] NOT TO LIVE4 ,I C\LD NOT HELP KN[+ ?IS1 & :5 ,I ONCE KNEW IT C\LD NOT %UT MY EYES TO IT4 ! SECOND WAY WAS TO USE LIFE SU* AS IT IS )\T ?9K+ ( ! FUTURE4 ,& ,I C\LD NOT DO ?AT4 ,I1 LIKE ,SAKYA ,MUNI1 C\LD NOT RIDE \T HUNT+ :5 ,I KNEW ?AT OLD AGE1 SUFF]+1 & DEA? EXI/4 ,MY IMAG9ATION WAS TOO VIVID4 ,NOR C\LD ,I REJOICE 9 ! MOM5T>Y ACCID5TS ?AT = AN 9/ANT ?REW PLEASURE TO MY LOT4 ,! ?IRD WAY1 HAV+ UND] /OOD ?AT LIFE IS EVIL & /UPID1 WAS TO 5D IT BY KILL+ ONESELF4 ,I UND]/OOD ?AT1 BUT SOMEH[ /ILL DID NOT KILL MYSELF4 ,! F\R? WAY WAS TO LIVE LIKE ,SOLOMON & ,S*OP5HAU] - KN[+ ?AT LIFE IS A /UPID JOKE PLAY$ UPON US1 & /ILL TO GO ON LIV+1 WA%+ ONESELF1 DRESS+1 D9+1 TALK+1 & EV5 WRIT+ BOOKS4 ,?IS WAS TO ME REPULSIVE & TORM5T+1 BUT ,I REMA9$ 9 ?AT POSITION4 ,I SEE N[ ?AT IF ,I DID NOT KILL MYSELF IT WAS DUE TO SOME DIM CONSCI\SNESS ( ! 9VALIDITY ( MY ?\$ TO ME ! SEQU5CE ( MY ?\E WISE 5\< TO UND]/& ! S5SELESSNESS & EVIL ( LIFE8 ,! REASON+ %[+ ! VANITY ( LIFE IS NOT SO DIFFICULT1 & HAS LONG BE5 FAMILI> TO ! V]Y SIMPLE/ FOLK2 YET !Y HAVE LIV$ & /ILL LIVE4 ,H[ IS IT !Y ALL LIVE & NEV] ?9K ( D\BT+ ! REASONABL5ESS ( LIFE8 ,MY KN[L$GE1 CONFIRM$ BY ! WISDOM ( ! SAGES1 HAS %[N ME ?AT EV]Y?+ ON E>? - ORGANIC & 9ORGANIC - IS ALL MO/ CLEV]LY >RANG$ - ONLY MY [N POSITION IS /UPID4 & ?OSE FOOLS - ! 5ORM\S MASSES ( PEOPLE - KN[ NO?+ AB\T H[ EV]Y?+ ORGANIC & 9ORGANIC 9 ! WORLD IS >RANG$2 BUT !Y LIVE1 & IT SEEMS TO !M ?AT !IR LIFE IS V]Y WISELY >RANG$6 444 ,& IT /RUCK ME3 0,BUT :AT IF !RE IS SOME?+ ,I DO NOT YET KN[8 ,IGNORANCE BEHAVES JU/ 9 ?AT WAY4 ,IGNORANCE ALWAYS SAYS JU/ :AT ,I AM SAY+4 ,:5 IT DOES NOT KN[ SOME?+1 IT SAYS ?AT :AT IT DOES NOT KN[ IS /UPID4 ,9DE$1 IT APPE>S ?AT !RE IS A :OLE HUMANITY ?AT LIV$ & LIVES AS IF IT UND]/OOD ! MEAN+ ( ITS LIFE1 = )\T UND]/&+ IT C\LD NOT LIVE2 BUT ,I SAY ?AT ALL ?IS LIFE IS S5SELESS & ?AT ,I CANNOT LIVE4 0,NO?+ PREV5TS \R D5Y+ LIFE BY SUICIDE4 WELL !N1 KILL Y\RSELF1 & Y\ WON'T DISCUSS4 ,IF LIFE DISPLEASES Y\1 KILL Y\RSELF6 ,Y\ LIVE1 & CANNOT UND]/& ! MEAN+ ( LIFE - !N F9I% IT1 & DO NOT FOOL AB\T 9 LIFE1 SAY+ & WRIT+ ?AT Y\ DO NOT UND]/& IT4 ,Y\ HAVE COME 9TO GOOD COMPANY :]E PEOPLE >E CONT5T$ & KN[ :AT !Y >E DO+2 IF Y\ F9D IT DULL & REPULSIVE - GO AWAY60 ,9DE$1 :AT >E WE :O >E CONV9C$ ( ! NECESSITY ( SUICIDE YET DO NOT DECIDE TO COMMIT IT1 BUT ! WEAKE/1 MO/ 9CONSI/5T1 & TO PUT IT PLA9LY1 ! /UPIDE/ ( M51 FUSS+ AB\T ) \R [N /UPIDITY AS A FOOL FUSSES AB\T ) A PA9T$ HUSSY8 ,= \R WISDOM1 H[EV] 9DUBITABLE IT MAY BE1 HAS NOT GIV5 US ! KN[L$GE ( ! MEAN+ ( \R LIFE4 ,BUT ALL MANK9D :O SU/A9 LIFE - MILLIONS ( !M - DO NOT D\BT ! MEAN+ ( LIFE4 ,9DE$1 FROM ! MO/ DI/ANT TIME ( :I* ,I KN[ ANY?+1 :5 LIFE BEGAN1 PEOPLE HAVE LIV$ KN[+ ! >GUM5T AB\T ! VANITY ( LIFE :I* HAS %[N ME ITS S5SELESSNESS1 & YET !Y LIV$ ATTRIBUT+ SOME MEAN+ TO IT4 ,FROM ! TIME :5 ANY LIFE BEGAN AMONG M5 !Y HAD ?AT MEAN+ ( LIFE1 & !Y L$ ?AT LIFE :I* HAS DESC5D$ TO ME4 ,ALL ?AT IS 9 ME & >\ND ME1 ALL1 CORPOREAL & 9CORPOREAL1 IS ! FRUIT ( !IR KN[L$GE ( LIFE4 ,?OSE V]Y 9/RUM5TS ( ?\GU$ ?AT !Y >E AN ABSURDITY6 0,!RE IS SOME?+ WRONG10 SAID ,I TO MYSELF4 0,I HAVE BLUND]$ SOME:]E40 ,BUT IT WAS A LONG TIME BE=E ,I C\LD F9D \T :]E ! MI/AKE WAS4 7,S\RCE3 ,A ,CONFESSION1 BY ,LEV ,NIKOLAYEVI* ,TOL/OY1 ,DI/RIBUT$ BY ! ,TOL/OY ,LIBR>Y ,ONL9E1 ,FIR/ DI/RIBUT$ 9 ,RUSSIA 9 #a#h#h#b1 FIR/ PUBLI%$ 9 #a#h#h#d47 ,FROM 3 ,FLAG4,BLACK5$4NET4 ,*RONOLOGY 3 ,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahha 3 ,P>T #g -- ,PUBLICATION4 ,FEBRU>Y #a#a1 #bag 3 ,P>T #g -- ,ADD$4 FILE G5]AT$ FROM 3 HTTP3_/_/REVOLTLIB4COM_/