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#ahhbahhb 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,NOT F9D+ AN EXPLANATION 9 SCI5CE ,I BEGAN TO SEEK = IT 
9 LIFE1 HOP+ TO F9D IT AMONG ! PEOPLE >\ND ME4 ,& ,I BEGAN 
TO OBS]VE H[ ! PEOPLE >\ND ME - PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF - LIV$1 
& :AT !IR ATTITUDE WAS TO ?IS QUE/ION :I* HAD BR\<T ME 
TO DESPAIR4 

,& ?IS IS :AT ,I F\ND AMONG PEOPLE :O W]E 9 ! SAME 
POSITION AS MYSELF AS REG>DS $UCATION & MANN] ( LIFE4 

,I F\ND ?AT = PEOPLE ( MY CIRCLE !RE W]E F\R WAYS \T 
( ! T]RIBLE POSITION 9 :I* WE >E ALL PLAC$4 

,! FIR/ WAS ?AT ( IGNORANCE4 ,IT CONSI/S 9 NOT KN[+1 
NOT UND]/&+1 ?AT LIFE IS AN EVIL & AN ABSURDITY4 ,PEOPLE 
( ?IS SORT - *IEFLY WOM51 OR V]Y Y\NG OR V]Y DULL PEOPLE - 
HAVE NOT YET UND]/OOD ?AT QUE/ION ( LIFE :I* PRES5T$ 
ITSELF TO ,S*OP5HAU]1 ,SOLOMON1 & ,BUDDHA4 ,!Y SEE NEI!R ! 
DRAGON ?AT AWAITS !M NOR ! MICE GNAW+ ! %RUB BY :I* 
!Y >E HANG+1 & !Y LICK ! DROPS ( HONEY4 BUT !Y LICK 
?OSE DROPS ( HONEY ONLY = A :ILE3 SOME?+ WILL TURN !IR 
ATT5TION TO ! DRAGON & ! MICE1 & !RE WILL BE AN 5D TO 
!IR LICK+4 ,FROM !M ,I HAD NO?+ TO LE>N - ONE CANNOT 
CEASE TO KN[ :AT ONE DOES KN[4 

,! SECOND WAY \T IS EPICUREANISM4 ,IT CONSI/S1 :ILE 
KN[+ ! HOPELESSNESS ( LIFE1 9 MAK+ USE MEAN:ILE ( ! 
ADVANTAGES ONE HAS1 DISREG>D+ ! DRAGON & ! MICE1 & 
LICK+ ! HONEY 9 ! BE/ WAY1 ESPECIALLY IF !RE IS MU* ( 
IT )9 REA*4 ,SOLOMON EXPRESSES ?IS WAY \T ?US3 0,!N ,I 
COMM5D$ MIR?1 BECAUSE A MAN HA? NO BETT] ?+ UND] ! SUN1 
?AN TO EAT1 & TO DR9K1 & TO BE M]RY3 & ?AT ?IS %\LD 
ACCOMPANY HIM 9 HIS LABOR ! DAYS ( HIS LIFE1 :I* ,GOD GIVE? 
HIM UND] ! SUN4 

0,!RE=E EAT ?Y BREAD ) JOY & DR9K ?Y W9E ) A 
M]RY HE>T4444 ,LIVE JOYFULLY ) ! WIFE :OM ?\ LOVE/ ALL 
! DAYS ( ! LIFE ( ?Y VANITY444= ?IS IS ?Y PORTION 9 
LIFE & 9 ?Y LABORS :I* ?\ TAKE/ UND] ! SUN4444 
,:ATSOEV] ?Y H& F9DE? TO DO1 DO IT ) ?Y MI<T1 = !RE 
IS NOT WORK1 NOR DEVICE1 NOR KN[L$GE1 NOR WISDOM1 9 ! GRAVE1 
:I!R ?\ GOE/40 

,?AT IS ! WAY 9 :I* ! MAJORITY ( PEOPLE ( \R CIRCLE 
MAKE LIFE POSSIBLE = !MSELVES4 ,!IR CIRCUM/ANCES FURNI% 
!M ) MORE ( WELF>E ?AN ( H>D%IP1 & !IR MORAL 
DULLNESS MAKES IT POSSIBLE = !M TO =GET ?AT ! ADVANTAGE ( 
!IR POSITION IS ACCID5TAL1 & ?AT NOT EV]YONE CAN HAVE A 
?\S& WIVES & PALACES LIKE ,SOLOMON1 ?AT = EV]YONE :O HAS 
A ?\S& WIVES !RE >E A ?\S& )\T A WIFE1 & ?AT = 
EA* PALACE !RE >E A ?\S& PEOPLE :O HAVE TO BUILD IT 9 ! 
SWEAT ( !IR BR[S2 & ?AT ! ACCID5T ?AT HAS TODAY MADE ME 
A ,SOLOMON MAY TOMORR[ MAKE ME A ,SOLOMON'S SLAVE4 ,! DULLNESS ( 
!SE PEOPLE'S IMAG9ATION 5ABLES !M TO =GET ! ?+S ?AT 
GAVE ,BUDDHA NO PEACE - ! 9EVITABILITY ( SICKNESS1 OLD AGE1 & 
DEA?1 :I* TODAY OR TOMORR[ WILL DE/ROY ALL !SE PLEASURES4 

,SO ?9K & FEEL ! MAJORITY ( PEOPLE ( \R DAY & \R 
MANN] ( LIFE4 ,! FACT ?AT SOME ( !SE PEOPLE DECL>E ! 
DULLNESS ( !IR ?\<TS & IMAG9ATIONS TO BE A PHILOSOPHY1 
:I* !Y CALL ,POSITIVE1 DOES NOT REMOVE !M1 9 MY OP9ION1 FROM 
! RANKS ( ?OSE :O1 TO AVOID SEE+ ! QUE/ION1 LICK ! 
HONEY4 ,I C\LD NOT IMITATE !SE PEOPLE2 NOT HAV+ !IR DULLNESS 
( IMAG9ATION ,I C\LD NOT >TIFICIALLY PRODUCE IT 9 MYSELF4 ,I 
C\LD NOT TE> MY EYES FROM ! MICE & ! DRAGON1 AS NO VITAL 
MAN CAN AFT] HE HAS ONCE SE5 !M4 

,! ?IRD ESCAPE IS ?AT ( /R5G? & 5]GY4 ,IT CONSI/S 
9 DE/ROY+ LIFE1 :5 ONE HAS UND]/OOD ?AT IT IS AN EVIL & 
AN ABSURDITY4 ,A FEW EXCEPTIONALLY /RONG & CONSI/5T PEOPLE ACT 
SO4 ,HAV+ UND]/OOD ! /UPIDITY ( ! JOKE ?AT HAS BE5 
PLAY$ ON !M1 & HAV+ UND]/OOD ?AT IT IS BETT] TO BE DEAD 
?AN TO BE ALIVE1 & ?AT IT IS BE/ ( ALL NOT TO EXI/1 !Y ACT 
ACCORD+LY & PROMPTLY 5D ?IS /UPID JOKE1 S9CE !RE >E 
MEANS3 A ROPE R\ND ONE'S NECK1 WAT]1 A KNIFE TO /ICK 9TO ONE'S 
HE>T1 OR ! TRA9S ON ! RAILWAYS2 & ! NUMB] ( ?OSE ( 
\R CIRCLE :O ACT 9 ?IS WAY BECOMES GREAT] & GREAT]1 & = 
! MO/ P>T !Y ACT SO AT ! BE/ TIME ( !IR LIFE1 :5 ! 
/R5G? ( !IR M9D IS 9 FULL BLOOM & FEW HABITS DEGRAD+ TO 
! M9D HAVE AS YET BE5 ACQUIR$4 

,I SAW ?AT ?IS WAS ! WOR?IE/ WAY ( ESCAPE & ,I WI%$ 
TO ADOPT IT4 

,! F\R? WAY \T IS ?AT ( WEAKNESS4 ,IT CONSI/S 9 SEE+ 
! TRU? ( ! SITUATION & YET CL++ TO LIFE1 KN[+ 9 
ADVANCE ?AT NO?+ CAN COME ( IT4 ,PEOPLE ( ?IS K9D KN[ ?AT 
DEA? IS BETT] ?AN LIFE1 BUT NOT HAV+ ! /R5G? TO ACT 
RATIONALLY - TO 5D ! DECEPTION QUICKLY & KILL !MSELVES - 
!Y SEEM TO WAIT = SOME?+4 ,?IS IS ! ESCAPE ( WEAKNESS1 
= IF ,I KN[ :AT IS BE/ & IT IS )9 MY P[]1 :Y NOT YIELD 
TO :AT IS BE/8 444 ,I F\ND MYSELF 9 ?AT CATEGORY4 

,SO PEOPLE ( MY CLASS EVADE ! T]RIBLE CONTRADICTION 9 F\R 
WAYS4 ,/RA9 MY ATT5TION AS ,I W\LD1 ,I SAW NO WAY EXCEPT ?OSE 
F\R4 ,ONE WAY WAS NOT TO UND]/& ?AT LIFE IS S5SELESS1 
VANITY1 & AN EVIL1 & ?AT IT IS BETT] NOT TO LIVE4 ,I C\LD 
NOT HELP KN[+ ?IS1 & :5 ,I ONCE KNEW IT C\LD NOT %UT MY 
EYES TO IT4 ! SECOND WAY WAS TO USE LIFE SU* AS IT IS )\T 
?9K+ ( ! FUTURE4 ,& ,I C\LD NOT DO ?AT4 ,I1 LIKE ,SAKYA 
,MUNI1 C\LD NOT RIDE \T HUNT+ :5 ,I KNEW ?AT OLD AGE1 
SUFF]+1 & DEA? EXI/4 ,MY IMAG9ATION WAS TOO VIVID4 ,NOR 
C\LD ,I REJOICE 9 ! MOM5T>Y ACCID5TS ?AT = AN 9/ANT 
?REW PLEASURE TO MY LOT4 ,! ?IRD WAY1 HAV+ UND] /OOD ?AT 
LIFE IS EVIL & /UPID1 WAS TO 5D IT BY KILL+ ONESELF4 ,I 
UND]/OOD ?AT1 BUT SOMEH[ /ILL DID NOT KILL MYSELF4 ,! F\R? 
WAY WAS TO LIVE LIKE ,SOLOMON & ,S*OP5HAU] - KN[+ ?AT LIFE 
IS A /UPID JOKE PLAY$ UPON US1 & /ILL TO GO ON LIV+1 WA%+ 
ONESELF1 DRESS+1 D9+1 TALK+1 & EV5 WRIT+ BOOKS4 ,?IS 
WAS TO ME REPULSIVE & TORM5T+1 BUT ,I REMA9$ 9 ?AT 
POSITION4 

,I SEE N[ ?AT IF ,I DID NOT KILL MYSELF IT WAS DUE TO SOME DIM 
CONSCI\SNESS ( ! 9VALIDITY ( MY ?\<TS4 ,H[EV] CONV9C+ 
& 9DUBITABLE APPE>$ TO ME ! SEQU5CE ( MY ?\<TS & ( 
?OSE ( ! WISE ?AT HAVE BR\<T US TO ! ADMISSION ( ! 
S5SELESSNESS ( LIFE1 !RE REMA9$ 9 ME A VAGUE D\BT ( ! 
JU/ICE ( MY CONCLUSION4 

,IT WAS LIKE ?IS3 ,I1 MY REASON1 HAVE ACKN[L$G$ ?AT LIFE 
IS S5SELESS4 ,IF !RE IS NO?+ HI<] ?AN REASON 7& !RE IS 
NOT3 NO?+ CAN PROVE ?AT !RE IS71 !N REASON IS ! CREATOR 
( LIFE = ME4 ,IF REASON DID NOT EXI/ !RE W\LD BE = ME NO 
LIFE4 ,H[ CAN REASON D5Y LIFE :5 IT IS ! CREATOR ( LIFE8 ,OR 
TO PUT IT ! O!R WAY3 W]E !RE NO LIFE1 MY REASON W\LD NOT 
EXI/2 !RE=E REASON IS LIFE'S SON4 ,LIFE IS ALL4 ,REASON IS ITS 
FRUIT YET REASON REJECTS LIFE ITSELF6 ,I FELT ?AT !RE WAS 
SOME?+ WRONG H]E4 

,LIFE IS A S5SELESS EVIL1 ?AT IS C]TA91 SAID ,I TO MYSELF4  
,YET ,I HAVE LIV$ & AM /ILL LIV+1 & ALL MANK9D LIV$ & 
LIVES4 ,H[ IS ?AT8 ,:Y DOES IT LIVE1 :5 IT IS POSSIBLE NOT TO 
LIVE8 ,IS IT ?AT ONLY ,I & ,S*OP5HAU] >E WISE 5\< TO 
UND]/& ! S5SELESSNESS & EVIL ( LIFE8 

,! REASON+ %[+ ! VANITY ( LIFE IS NOT SO DIFFICULT1 
& HAS LONG BE5 FAMILI> TO ! V]Y SIMPLE/ FOLK2 YET !Y HAVE 
LIV$ & /ILL LIVE4 ,H[ IS IT !Y ALL LIVE & NEV] ?9K ( 
D\BT+ ! REASONABL5ESS ( LIFE8 

,MY KN[L$GE1 CONFIRM$ BY ! WISDOM ( ! SAGES1 HAS %[N 
ME ?AT EV]Y?+ ON E>? - ORGANIC & 9ORGANIC - IS ALL MO/ 
CLEV]LY >RANG$ - ONLY MY [N POSITION IS /UPID4 & ?OSE 
FOOLS - ! 5ORM\S MASSES ( PEOPLE - KN[ NO?+ AB\T H[ 
EV]Y?+ ORGANIC & 9ORGANIC 9 ! WORLD IS >RANG$2 BUT !Y 
LIVE1 & IT SEEMS TO !M ?AT !IR LIFE IS V]Y WISELY >RANG$6 
444 

,& IT /RUCK ME3 0,BUT :AT IF !RE IS SOME?+ ,I DO NOT 
YET KN[8 ,IGNORANCE BEHAVES JU/ 9 ?AT WAY4 ,IGNORANCE ALWAYS 
SAYS JU/ :AT ,I AM SAY+4 ,:5 IT DOES NOT KN[ SOME?+1 IT 
SAYS ?AT :AT IT DOES NOT KN[ IS /UPID4 ,9DE$1 IT APPE>S ?AT 
!RE IS A :OLE HUMANITY ?AT LIV$ & LIVES AS IF IT UND]/OOD 
! MEAN+ ( ITS LIFE1 = )\T UND]/&+ IT C\LD NOT 
LIVE2 BUT ,I SAY ?AT ALL ?IS LIFE IS S5SELESS & ?AT ,I CANNOT 
LIVE4 

0,NO?+ PREV5TS \R D5Y+ LIFE BY SUICIDE4 WELL !N1 
KILL Y\RSELF1 & Y\ WON'T DISCUSS4 ,IF LIFE DISPLEASES Y\1 KILL 
Y\RSELF6 ,Y\ LIVE1 & CANNOT UND]/& ! MEAN+ ( LIFE - 
!N F9I% IT1 & DO NOT FOOL AB\T 9 LIFE1 SAY+ & WRIT+ 
?AT Y\ DO NOT UND]/& IT4 ,Y\ HAVE COME 9TO GOOD COMPANY 
:]E PEOPLE >E CONT5T$ & KN[ :AT !Y >E DO+2 IF Y\ 
F9D IT DULL & REPULSIVE - GO AWAY60 

,9DE$1 :AT >E WE :O >E CONV9C$ ( ! NECESSITY ( 
SUICIDE YET DO NOT DECIDE TO COMMIT IT1 BUT ! WEAKE/1 MO/ 
9CONSI/5T1 & TO PUT IT PLA9LY1 ! /UPIDE/ ( M51 FUSS+ 
AB\T ) \R [N /UPIDITY AS A FOOL FUSSES AB\T ) A PA9T$ 
HUSSY8 ,= \R WISDOM1 H[EV] 9DUBITABLE IT MAY BE1 HAS NOT 
GIV5 US ! KN[L$GE ( ! MEAN+ ( \R LIFE4 ,BUT ALL MANK9D 
:O SU/A9 LIFE - MILLIONS ( !M - DO NOT D\BT ! MEAN+ ( 
LIFE4 

,9DE$1 FROM ! MO/ DI/ANT TIME ( :I* ,I KN[ ANY?+1 
:5 LIFE BEGAN1 PEOPLE HAVE LIV$ KN[+ ! >GUM5T AB\T ! 
VANITY ( LIFE :I* HAS %[N ME ITS S5SELESSNESS1 & YET !Y 
LIV$ ATTRIBUT+ SOME MEAN+ TO IT4 

,FROM ! TIME :5 ANY LIFE BEGAN AMONG M5 !Y HAD ?AT 
MEAN+ ( LIFE1 & !Y L$ ?AT LIFE :I* HAS DESC5D$ TO ME4  
,ALL ?AT IS 9 ME & >\ND ME1 ALL1 CORPOREAL & 9CORPOREAL1 IS 
! FRUIT ( !IR KN[L$GE ( LIFE4 ,?OSE V]Y 9/RUM5TS ( 
?\<T ) :I* ,I CONSID] ?IS LIFE & CONDEMN IT W]E ALL 
DEVIS$ NOT BE ME BUT BY !M4 ,I MYSELF WAS BORN1 TAU<T1 & 
BR\<T UP ?ANKS TO !M4 ,!Y DUG \T ! IRON1 TAU<T US TO CUT 
D[N ! =E/S1 TAM$ ! C[S & HORSES1 TAU<T US TO S[ CORN 
& TO LIVE TOGE!R1 ORGANIZ$ \R LIFE1 & TAU<T ME TO ?9K 
& SPEAK4 ,& ,I1 !IR PRODUCT1 F$1 SUPPLI$ ) DR9K1 TAU<T 
BY !M1 ?9K+ ) !IR ?\<TS & WORDS1 HAVE >GU$ ?AT 
!Y >E AN ABSURDITY6 0,!RE IS SOME?+ WRONG10 SAID ,I TO 
MYSELF4 0,I HAVE BLUND]$ SOME:]E40 ,BUT IT WAS A LONG TIME 
BE=E ,I C\LD F9D \T :]E ! MI/AKE WAS4 

7,S\RCE3 ,A ,CONFESSION1 BY ,LEV ,NIKOLAYEVI* ,TOL/OY1 ,DI/RIBUT$ BY ! ,TOL/OY ,LIBR>Y ,ONL9E1 ,FIR/ DI/RIBUT$ 9 ,RUSSIA 9 #a#h#h#b1 FIR/ PUBLI%$ 9 #a#h#h#d47 

,FROM 3 ,FLAG4,BLACK5$4NET4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
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