,CONFESSIONS ( A ,MILD-,MANN]$ ,5EMY ( ! ,/ATE 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,K5 ,KNABB 

,TEXT 3 

,P>T #a 7#a#i#d#e-#a#i#f#i7 

0,IF ! WORLD REPROA*ES ME = TALK+ TOO MU* AB\T MYSELF1 ,I REPROA* ! WORLD = NOT EV5 ?9K+ AB\T ITSELF40 

-- ,MONTAIGNE 

,*ILDHOOD 

,I WAS BORN 9 #aide 9 ,L\ISIANA1 :]E MY MO!R HAD GONE TO BE ) MY FA!R AT AN >MY CAMP4 ,:ILE HE WAS OV]SEAS WE LIV$ ON H] P>5TS' F>M 9 ,M9NESOTA4 ,:5 HE RETURN$ A C\PLE YE>S LAT]1 WE MOV$ TO HIS HOME T[N 9 ! ,MISS\RI ,OZ>KS4 

,MOV+ AT A SOME:AT SL[] PACE ?AN MO/ ( ! C\NTRY1 ,PLA9/[N /ILL MA9TA9$ MU* ( ?AT SMALL-T[N1 E>LY-TW5TIE?-C5TURY1 PRE-TELEVISION ,AM]ICAN LIFE IDEALIZ$ BY ,NORMAN ,ROCKWELL -- ! WORLD ( POR* SW+S & LAZY AFT]NOONS1 ,BOY ,SC\TS & VACANT-LOT BASEBALL1 SQU>E DANCES & *UR* PICNICS1 C\NTY FAIRS1 SUMM] CAMPS1 AUTUMN LEAVES1 :ITE ,*RI/MASES4 ,?AT WAY ( LIFE HAS (T5 BE5 DISP>AG$1 BUT IT DID HAVE SOME ADVANTAGES OV] ! PLA/IC SUBURBAN LIFE/YLE ?AT WAS ALREADY BEG9N+ TO REPLACE IT4 ,DESPITE !IR NAIVETE 9 MANY REG>DS1 ! 9HABITANTS ( ! ,%[-,ME ,/ATE RETA9$ SOME VE/IGES ( ,M>K ,TWA9IAN SKEPTICISM & COMMON S5SE4 ,EV5 ! POORE/ PEOPLE (T5 [N$ !IR [N HOME OR F>M4 ,EXT5D$ FAMILIES PROVID$ A SOCIAL CU%ION IF ANYONE FELL ON H>D TIMES4 ,?+S W]E QUIET & SAFE4 ,A KID C\LD GR[ UP )\T MU* AW>5ESS ( ! PROBLEMS 9 ! \TSIDE WORLD4 

,YE>LY VISITS TO ! ,M9NESOTA F>M MA9TA9$ ANO!R L9K ) E>LI] TRADITIONS4 ,I /ILL REMEMB] BURR[+ 9 ! HUGE HAYL(T 9 ! OLD B>N2 EXPLOR+ ! ,VICTORIAN H\SE1 ) ITS OLD-FA%ION$ FURNITURE & 9TRIGU+ ?+S LIKE A CLO!S *UTE ?AT RAN FROM ! SECOND FLOOR ALL ! WAY D[N TO ! MU/Y BASEM5T FULL ( /RANGE CURIOS & CONTRAPTIONS LEFT OV] FROM ! PREVI\S C5TURY2 OR TRAIPS+ AFT] MY GR&FA!R1 A SPRY OLD GUY /ILL WORK+ VIGOR\SLY 9 ! FIELDS 9 HIS LATE EI<TIES4 

,MY FA!R WAS ONE ( ! LA/ ( ! OLD-FA%ION$ FAMILY DOCTORS -- ! K9D :O US$ TO DELIV] SUCCESSIVE G5]ATIONS ( BABIES & :O *>G$ @s#e = A H\SE CALL1 EV5 IF IT WAS 9 ! MIDDLE ( ! NI<T -- OR SOMETIMES NO?+ AT ALL IF ! FAMILY WAS 9 DIFFICULT CIRCUM/ANCES4 ,LIKE HIS FA!R BE=E HIM1 HE COMB9$ FULL-TIME DOCTOR+ ) P>T-TIME F>M+2 HE /ILL DOES A LITTLE ( ! LATT]1 ?\< HE RETIR$ FROM M$ICAL PRACTICE A C\PLE YE>S AGO4 ,MY MO!R WAS TRA9$ AS A PHYSICAL !RAPI/1 BUT SP5T MO/ ( H] TIME AS A HOMEMAK] TAK+ C>E ( ME & MY TWO SI/]S4 

,MY E>LIE/ & BE/ FRI5D1 ,SAM ,?OMAS1 WAS TWO YE>S OLD] & LIV$ JU/ >\ND ! CORN]4 ,WE PLAY$ ALL ! TYPICAL GAMES -- BASEBALL1 BASKETBALL1 FOOTBALL1 BADM9TON1 P+ PONG1 KICK ! CAN1 M>BLES1 C>DS1 ,MONOPOLY1 ,SCRABBLE2 BUT :AT ,I REMEMB] 5JOY+ MO/ ( ALL W]E ! ACTIVITIES ?AT WE CREAT$ = \RSELVES -- ELABORATE CON/RUCTIONS ) ,L9COLN ,LOGS OR ]ECTOR SETS1 DEPLOYM5T ( LITTLE METAL C[BOYS & ,9DIANS AMONG =TS & TUNNELS 9 A S&BOX1 BUILD+ \R [N CLUB H\SE & TREE H\SE1 PUTT+ ON %[S & C>NIVALS = ! O!R KIDS 9 ! NEI<BORHOOD4 

,I ALSO HAVE FOND MEMORIES ( GRADE S*OOL4 ,AL?\< ! $UCATIONAL SY/EM WAS NOT P>TICUL>LY 0PROGRESSIVE10 IT WAS V]Y FLEXIBLE & 5C\RAG+ = ME4 ,ONCE ,I HAD DEMON/RAT$ ?AT ! USUAL LESSONS W]E A BREEZE1 ! TEA*]S ALL[$ ME1 & TO A LESS] EXT5T A FEW ( MY MORE 9TELLIG5T CLASSMATES1 TO SKIP SOME ( ! R\T9E TASKS & PURSUE 9DEP5D5TLY *OS5 PROJECTS -- RESE>*+ GEOGRAPHY1 HI/ORY1 A/RONOMY OR ATOMIC PHYSICS 9 ! 5CYCLOP$IAS1 COMPIL+ LI/S & *>TS1 CONDUCT+ EXP]IM5TS1 CON/RUCT+ SCI5CE EXHIBITS4 

,\TSIDE CLASS ,I READ VORACI\SLY -- SCI5CE1 HI/ORY & ,POGO COMICS BE+ MY MA9 FAVORITES -- & LE>N$ SOME NEW GAMES3 T5NIS1 POOL1 *ESS1 & ABOVE ALL1 BRIDGE 7A FASC9AT+ GAME -- ,I /ILL 5JOY READ+ BOOKS ON BRIDGE /RATEGY1 ?\< ,I'VE R>ELY PLAY$ IT S9CE ,I LEFT HOME74 ,BUT H]E AGA91 ,I REMEMB] ) P>TICUL> FONDNESS ! ACTIVITIES MY FRI5DS & ,I DEVIS$ = \RSELVES4 ,?REE ( US CREAT$ A LITTLE IMAG9>Y ISL& WORLD ) EXT5D$ FAMILIES ( *>ACT]S CUT \T ( FOAM1 AB\T :OM WE COMPOS$ ELABORATE G5EALOGIES & /ORIES4 ,ANO!R FRI5D & ,I 9V5T$ A GAME 9SPIR$ BY \R FASC9ATION ) ! HI/ORY ( EXPLORATION4 7,POLITICALLY CORRECT TYPES WILL HAVE A FIELD DAY ) ?IS ONE47 ,HE WAS ,5GL& & ,I WAS ,FRANCE1 EA* \T TO EXPLORE & COLONIZE ! RE/ ( ! WORLD DUR+ ! SIXTE5? C5TURY4 ,WE W\LD CLOSE \R EYES & PO9T TO A SPOT ON A SP9N+ GLOBE1 !N ?R[ ?REE CO9S3 ! COMB9ATION ( HEADS & TAILS W\LD DET]M9E H[ F> WE C\LD TRAVEL FROM ?AT SPOT 7! DI/ANCE DEP5D+ ON :E!R WE TRAVEL$ BY SEA1 RIV] OR L&7 & H[ MU* T]RITORY WE C\LD CLAIM4 ,I ?9K !RE W]E ADDITIONAL RULES GOV]N+ =TIFICATIONS & BATTLES 9 DISPUT$ T]RITORY4 ,EV]Y?+ WAS M>K$ 9 DIFF]5T COLORS ON A BLANK WORLD MAP4 ,ON WEEK5DS WE W\LD (T5 SP5D ! NI<T TOGE!R & PLAY ALL EV5+ 7UNTIL \R P>5TS MADE US GO TO B$7 & MU* ( ! NEXT DAY UNTIL ! GAME CAME TO AN 5D ?R\< EXHAU/ION OR BECAUSE ! :OLE MAP WAS F9ALLY DIVID$ UP BETWE5 US4 

,I ALSO HAD A LOT ( FUN 9 ,BOY ,SC\TS1 AS WELL AS PICK+ UP SOME USEFUL SKILLS -- LIFESAV+1 FIR/ AID1 CRAFTS1 NATURE LORE1 CAMP+1 CANOE+ 7SUBLIME COMB9ATION ( QUIETUDE & GRACEFUL MOTION1 SIL5TLY GLID+ ALONG A W9D+ /REAM PA/ ANCI5T WEA!R$ BLUFFS1 LOOK+ D[N ?R\< ! CRY/AL CLE> WAT] AT ! FI% SWIMM+ & ! CRAWDADS & O!R CRITT]S SCRAMBL+ ON ! GRAVEL BOTTOM74 ,DESPITE ITS OBJECTIONABLE PATRIOTIC & SEMI-MILIT>I/IC ASPECTS1 SC\T+ PUT AN EXEMPL>Y /RESS ON ECOLOGICAL PR9CIPLES & FO/]$ :AT WAS = ! TIME AN UNUSUAL RESPECT = ! ,AM]ICAN ,9DIAN4 ,MY 9ITIATION 9TO ! 0,ORD] ( ! ,>R[0 9CLUD$ AN 5TIRE DAY ( TOTAL SIL5CE 9 ! WOODS1 MODEL$ LOOSELY ON ,9DIAN 9ITIATORY PRACTICES & NOT ALL ?AT DIFF]5T FROM SOME ,Z5 PRACTICES ,I LAT] W5T ?R\<4 

,LOOK+ BACK1 ,I REALIZE H[ =TUNATE ,I WAS TO HAVE ALL !SE EXP]I5CES4 ,?ANKS TO C>+ P>5TS & 5C\RAG+ TEA*]S1 ,I WAS ABLE TO EXPLORE ?+S = MYSELF & LE>N ! DELI<TS ( 9DEP5D5T1 SELF-ORGANIZ$ ACTIVITY4 ,I FEEL SORRY = KIDS N[ADAYS :O GET SO HOOK$ ON TELEVISION & VIDEO GAMES ?AT !Y NEV] REALIZE H[ MU* MORE FUN IT IS TO READ OR TO CREATE Y\R [N PROJECTS4 ,I 5JOY$ SOME ( ! E>LY ,T,V PROGRAMS1 BUT WE GOT \R FIR/ SET LATE 5\< ?AT ,I HAD ALREADY HAD A *ANCE TO DISCOV] ?AT BOOKS W]E A GATEWAY TO F> RI*] & MORE 9T]E/+ WORLDS4 

,H[ ,I BECAME AN A!I/ 

,! ONLY SORE PO9T 9 MY E>LY MEMORIES IS RELIGION4 ,LIKE MO/ PEOPLE 9 ,PLA9/[N1 ,I HAD A FAIRLY CONS]VATIVE 7?\< NOT FUNDAM5TALI/7 ,PROTE/ANT UPBR++4 ,AS A Y\NG *ILD ,I PA9LESSLY ABSORB$ ! ,SUNDAY S*OOL V]SION ( ,*RI/IANITY2 BUT AS ,I BECAME OLD] & BEGAN TO UND]/& :AT ! ,BIBLE ACTUALLY SAID1 ,I BECAME HAUNT$ BY ! POSSIBILITY ( GO+ TO HELL4 ,EV5 IF ,I MANAG$ TO ESCAPE ?IS DOOM1 ,I WAS HORRIFI$ AT ! IDEA ?AT ANYONE1 NO MATT] H[ S9FUL1 MI<T BE CONSIGN$ TO TORTURE = ALL ET]NITY4 ,IT WAS H>D TO UND]/& H[ A SUPPOS$LY LOV+ ,GOD C\LD BE 9F9ITELY MORE CRUEL ?AN ! MO/ SADI/IC DICTATOR2 BUT IT WAS DIFFICULT TO QUE/ION ! ,BIBLICAL DOGMA :5 EV]YONE ,I KNEW1 9CLUD+ PRESUMABLY 9TELLIG5T ADULTS1 SEEM$ TO ACCEPT IT4 ,EXCEPT = VAGUE M5TIONS ( 0A!I/IC ,COMMUNI/S0 ON ! O!R SIDE ( ! WORLD1 ,I HAD NEV] HE>D ( ANYONE S]I\SLY PR(ESS+ ANY O!R P]SPECTIVE4 

,ONE DAY :5 ,I WAS ?IRTE51 ,I WAS BR[S+ ?R\< ,JAMES ,NEWMAN'S AN?OLOGY ,! ,WORLD ( ,MA!MATICS & />T$ READ+ AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL PIECE BY ,B]TR& ,RUSSELL4 ,A LITTLE WAYS 9TO IT1 ,I CAME UPON A PASSAGE :]E HE M5TION$ H[ AS A TE5AG] HE HAD BECOME AN AGNO/IC UPON REALIZ+ ! FALLACI\SNESS ( ONE ( ! CLASSIC >GUM5TS = ! EXI/5CE ( ,GOD4 ,I WAS /UNN$4 ,RUSSELL ONLY M5TION$ ?IS 9 PASS+1 BUT ! M]E DISCOV]Y ?AT AN 9TELLIG5T P]SON C\LD DISBELIEVE 9 RELIGION WAS 5\< TO SET ME ?9K+4 ,A C\PLE DAYS LAT] ,I WAS ON ! PO9T ( SAY+ MY USUAL B$TIME PRAY]S :5 ,I ?\<T TO MYSELF1 0,:AT AM ,I DO+8 ,I DON'T BELIEVE ?IS /UFF ANYMORE60 

,SURR\ND$ BY VIRTUALLY UNANIM\S RELIGI\S BELIEF 7AT LEA/ AS F> AS ,I C\LD TELL71 ,I DIDN'T D>E BREA! A WORD AB\T ?IS = OV] A YE>4 ,TO ALL APPE>ANCES ,I REMA9$ A POLITE1 CONV5TIONAL1 *UR*GO+ BOY1 COMPLET+ MY ,EAGLE ,SC\T REQUIREM5TS & GO+ ?R\< ALL ! EXPECT$ SOCIAL MOTIONS4 ,BUT ALL ! :ILE1 ,I WAS QUIETLY OBS]V+ & RECONSID]+ EV]Y?+ ,I HAD =M]LY TAK5 = GRANT$4 

,:5 ,I W5T TO HI< S*OOL A YE> LAT]1 ,I MET SOME OLD] /UD5TS :O OP5LY QUE/ION$ RELIGION4 ,?AT WAS ALL IT TOOK TO BR+ ME \T ( ! CLOSET4 ,! RESULT WAS A MILD SC&AL4 ,?AT ! BOY :OM FOND TEA*]S HAD = YE>S PRAIS$ AS ! SM>TE/ KID 9 T[N HAD SUDD5LY COME =? AS AN \TSPOK5 A!I/ WAS A %OCK TO EV]YONE4 ,/UD5TS W\LD PO9T AT ME & :ISP] ?AT ,I WAS DOOM$ TO HELL2 TEA*]S H>DLY KNEW H[ TO DEAL ) MY WISE-ASS COMM5TS2 & MY POOR P>5TS1 AT AN UTT] LOSS TO UND]/& H[ SU* A ?+ C\LD HAVE HAPP5$1 S5T ME TO A PSY*OANALY/4 

,ONCE ,I HAD SE5 ! ABSURDITY ( ,*RI/IANITY1 ,I BEGAN TO QUE/ION O!R COMMONLY ACCEPT$ BELIEFS4 ,IT WAS OBVI\S1 = EXAMPLE1 ?AT 0CAPITALI/IC ,AM]ICANISM0 WAS ALSO RIDDL$ ) ABSURDITIES4 ,BUT ,I HAD NO 9T]E/ 9 POLITICS BECAUSE ! AMORAL1 H$ONI/IC PHILOSOPHY ,I HAD ADOPT$ MADE ME DISMISS ANY CONC]N ) ! G5]AL WELF>E UNLESS IT HAPP5$ TO BE> ON MY [N 9T]E/S4 ,I WAS ON PR9CIPLE AGA9/ ANY MORALITY1 AL?\< 9 PRACTICE ,I DID SC>CELY ANY?+ MORE IMMORAL ?AN BE+ OBNOXI\SLY S>CA/IC4 ,I NO LONG] HESITAT$ TO EXPRESS MY CONTEMPT = EV]Y ASPECT ( CONV5TIONAL LIFE1 :E!R POPUL> CULTURE1 SOCIAL MORES1 OR ! CONT5T ( MY HI< S*OOL CLASSES4 

,MY REAL $UCATION WAS ALREADY COM+ FROM ALL ! \TSIDE READ+ ,I WAS DO+1 & FROM DISCUSSIONS ) A FEW FRI5DS :O W]E READ+ SOME ( ! SAME BOOKS4 ,?\< ,I /ILL 5JOY$ SCI5CE & HI/ORY1 ,I HAD S9CE JUNIOR HI< BECOME 9CREAS+LY 9T]E/$ 9 LIT]ATURE4 ,OV] ! NEXT TWO OR ?REE YE>S ,I W5T ?R\< QUITE A FEW CLASSIC WORKS -- ,HOM]1 ,GREEK MY?OLOGY1 ,! ,GOLD5 ,ASS1 ,>ABIAN ,NI<TS1 ,OM> ,KHAYYAM1 ,! ,DECAM]ON1 ,*AUC]1 ,RABELAIS1 ,DON ,QUIXOTE1 ,TOM ,JONES1 ,TRI/RAM ,%&YGAFF1 ,PE1 ,MELVILLE1 ,DO/OYEVSKY1 ,TOL/OY1 ,B]N>D ,%AW1 ,ALD\S ,HUXLEY1 ,DURRELL'S ,ALEX&RIA ,QU>TET1 TO M5TION SOME ( MY FAVORITES4 ,GIV5 MY LIMIT$ EXP]I5CE ( LIFE1 ,I MISS$ MANY ( ! NUANCES ( !SE WORKS1 BUT !Y AT LEA/ GAVE ME SOME IDEA ( ! V>IETY ( WAYS PEOPLE HAD LIV$ & ?\<T \T 9 ! GREAT WORLD4 ,I WAS ( C\RSE P>TICUL>LY DRAWN TO ?OSE WRIT]S :O W]E MO/ RADICALLY UNCONV5TIONAL4 ,NIETZS*E WAS A SPECIAL FAVORITE -- ,I DELI<T$ 9 SC&ALIZ+ TEA*]S & CLASSMATES ) QUOTES FROM HIS SCA?+ CRITIQUES ( ,*RI/IANITY4 ,BUT MY SUPREME IDOL WAS ,JAMES ,JOYCE4 ,I HAV5'T BE5 ESPECIALLY 9T]E/$ 9 ,JOYCE 9 A LONG TIME1 BUT :5 ,I FIR/ DISCOV]$ HIM ,I WAS AW$ BY ALL HIS /YLI/IC 9NOVATIONS & MULTICULTURAL REF]5CES1 & DEV\R$ ALL HIS WORKS1 EV5 ,F9NEGANS ,WAKE1 AS WELL AS NUM]\S BOOKS AB\T HIM4 ,I WAS ALSO ALREADY BECOM+ A BIT ( A FRANCOPHILE3 ,I F\ND ,/5DHAL & ,FLAUB]T MORE 9T]E/+ ?AN ! ,VICTORIAN NOVELI/S1 & WAS FASC9AT$ ) ,BAUDELAIRE & ,RIMBAUD BE=E ,I EV] READ MU* ,BRITI% OR ,AM]ICAN POETRY4 

,I LE>N$ AB\T MORE REC5T LIT]>Y REBELS FROM ,J4,R4 ,WUND]LE1 AN OLD] /UD5T :O HAD GR[N UP 9 ,/4 ,L\IS & ?US HAD A LITTLE MORE COSMOPOLITAN SAVVY ?AN MY O!R FRI5DS4 ,I HAD HE>D VAGUE RUMORS AB\T ! ,BEATS1 BUT ,J4,R4 TURN$ ME ON TO ! ACTUAL WRIT+S ( ,G9SB]G & ,K]\AC1 & EV5 AFFECT$ A C]TA9 BOHEMIANISM HIMSELF1 TO ! V]Y LIMIT$ DEGREE ?AT ?IS WAS POSSIBLE = A HI< S*OOL /UD5T 9 A V]Y SQU>E ,MIDWE/]N T[N4 ,A YE> LAT] HE & ANO!R GUY W5T \T TO ,V5ICE ,WE/ 7NE> ,LOS ,ANGELES7 & ACTUALLY LIV$ 9 ! ?ICK ( ! ,BEAT SC5E = A :ILE4 

,I D\BT IF ,I W\LD HAVE BE5 READY TO H&LE SOME?+ LIKE ?AT MYSELF4 ,EXCEPT = A FEW FAMILY VACATIONS1 ,I HAD NEV] BE5 \T ( ! ,OZ>KS1 NOR HELD ANY JOB AP>T FROM A LITTLE NEI<BORHOOD LAWN M[+4 ,BUT ,I SURE DID WANT TO GET \T ( ,PLA9/[N4 ,! PROSPECT ( 5DUR+ IT = TWO MORE YE>S UNTIL ,I F9I%$ HI< S*OOL WAS EXTREMELY DEPRESS+1 ESPECIALLY :5 ,I SAW SEV]AL ( MY OLD] FRI5DS ALREADY GO+ (F TO COLLEGE4 

,A LUCKY SOLUTION TURN$ UP4 ,A HI< S*OOL C\NSELOR1 TO :OM ,I WILL BE =EV] GRATEFUL1 CAME ACROSS A CATALOG = ,%IM] ,COLLEGE1 A SMALL EXP]IM5TAL LIB]AL >TS COLLEGE ?AT ACCEPT$ EXCEPTIONAL /UD5TS BE=E !Y HAD GRADUAT$ FROM HI< S*OOL1 & IMM$IATELY ?\<T ( ME4 ,IT SEEM$ IDEAL4 ,I W\LD BE ABLE TO GET \T ( ,PLA9/[N & 9TO AN 9TELLECTUALLY 9T]E/+ SC5E )\T BE+ ABRUPTLY ?R[N ON MY [N2 MY TEA*]S W]E NO D\BT RELIEV$ TO GET ME \T ( !IR HAIR2 & MY P>5TS RI<TLY SAW ?IS AS ! BE/ *ANCE TO RESOLVE A SITUATION !Y HAD NO IDEA ( H[ TO DEAL )4 

,%IM] ,COLLEGE & FIR/ 9DEP5D5T ADV5TURES 

,I 5T]$ ,%IM] 9 FALL #a#i#f#a1 & ,I LOV$ IT4 ,LOCAT$ 9 A SMALL T[N 9 NOR?WE/]N ,ILL9OIS1 ,%IM] C>RI$ ON ! GREAT BOOKS DISCUSSION PROGRAM DEVELOP$ AT ! ,UNIV]SITY ( ,*ICAGO 9 ! ?IRTIES BY ,ROB]T ,HUT*9S & ,MORTIM] ,ADL]4 ,! TOTAL /UD5T BODY WAS >\ND ?REE HUNDR$4 ,AV]AGE CLASS SIZE WAS T54 ,!RE W]E NO TEXTBOOKS & VIRTUALLY NO LECTURES4 ,FACTUAL KN[L$GE WAS NOT NEGLECT$1 BUT ! EMPHASIS WAS ON LE>N+ H[ TO ?9K1 TO QUE/ION1 TO TE/ & >TICULATE IDEAS BY P>TICIPAT+ 9 R\ND-TABLE DISCUSSIONS ( SEM9AL CLASSIC TEXTS4 ,! TEA*]'S ROLE WAS SIMPLY TO FACILITATE ! DISCUSSION ) P]T95T QUE/IONS4 ,UNOR?ODOX VIEWPO9TS W]E WELCOME -- BUT Y\ HAD TO DEF5D !M COMPET5TLY2 UNF\ND$ OP9ION WAS NOT 5\<4 

,%IM] WAS NOT SOCIALLY RADICAL1 NOR WAS IT P>TICUL>LY FREE=M 9 WAYS ?AT SOME O!R EXP]IM5TAL S*OOLS HAVE BE5 BE=E & S9CE4 ,! ADM9I/RATION WAS FAIRLY CONV5TIONAL & ! REGULATIONS W]E FAIRLY CONS]VATIVE4 ,! CURRICULUM WAS ,EUROC5TRIC & T5D$ P]HAPS TO OV]EMPHASIZE WORKS ( SY/EMATIC PHILOSOPHICAL DISC\RSE SU* AS ?OSE ,ADL]-,HUT*9S FAVORITES1 ,>I/OTLE & ,AQU9AS4 7,SOMEONE QUIPP$ ?AT ,HUT*9S'S ,UNIV]SITY ( ,*ICAGO WAS 0A ,BAPTI/ UNIV]SITY :]E ,JEWI% PR(ESSORS TEA* ,CA?OLIC PHILOSOPHY TO A!I/ /UD5TS407 

,BUT :ATEV] ! FLAWS ( ! ,%IM] SY/EM1 IT WAS A PRETTY COH]5T ONE4 ,?REE \T ( ! F\R YE>S W]E TAK5 UP ) AN 9TRICATELY 9T]RELAT$ C\RSE SEQU5CE ?AT EV]YONE WAS REQUIR$ TO TAKE1 COV]+ HUMANITIES1 SOCIAL SCI5CES1 NATURAL SCI5CES1 HI/ORY & PHILOSOPHY1 LEAV+ ROOM = ONLY A FEW ELECTIVES4 7,) ?IS BASIC GR\ND+1 MO/ /UD5TS HAD LITTLE TR\BLE CAT*+ UP ON !IR EV5TUAL SUBJECT ( SPECIALIZATION 9 GRAD S*OOL47 ,MOREOV]1 9 CONTRA/ TO CONS]VATIVE ADVOCATES ( CLASSICAL CURRICULA1 ,ADL] & ,HUT*9S DID NOT 5VISION !IR PROGRAM AS DE/9$ ONLY = AN ELITE M9ORITY3 !Y 9SI/$ ?AT ! BASIC ISSUES DEALT ) 9 ! GREAT BOOKS C\LD & %\LD BE GRAPPL$ ) BY EV]YONE AS ! F\NDATION ( A LIFELONG $UCATION4 ,IF !Y W]E RA!R NAIVE 9 ACCEPT+ ,WE/]N 0DEMOCRATIC SOCIETY0 ON ITS [N T]MS1 !Y AT LEA/ *ALL5G$ ?AT SOCIETY TO LIVE UP TO ITS [N PRET5SIONS1 PO9T+ \T ?AT IF IT WAS TO WORK IT REQUIR$ A CITIZ5RY CAPABLE ( P>TICIPAT+ 9 IT KN[L$GEABLY & CRITICALLY1 & ?AT :AT PRES5TLY PASSES = $UCATION DOES NOT BEG9 TO ACCOMPLI% ?IS4 

,:ILE !SE C\RSES W]E PRETTY 9T]E/+1 ,I ACTUALLY LE>N$ A LOT MORE FROM SOME ( MY FELL[ /UD5TS4 ,MY ROOMMATE1 ,MI*AEL ,BE>DSLEY1 HAD A SOME:AT SIMIL> BACKGR\ND -- HE CAME FROM A SMALL T[N 9 ,TEXAS & LIKE ME HAD SKIPP$ ! LA/ TWO YE>S ( HI< S*OOL4 ,BUT MO/ ( MY NEW FRI5DS W]E ,*ICAGO ,JEWS1 ) A RADICAL1 SKEPTICAL1 HUMANI/IC1 COSMOPOLITAN CULTURE ?AT WAS REFRE%+LY NEW TO ME4 ,!RE W]E ALSO SOME MORE APOLITICAL *>ACT]S1 ONE ( ! MO/ MEMORABLE BE+ A PLUMP1 GOATE$ *ESS PRODIGY & CLASSICAL MUSIC CONNOISSEUR ) ! MANN] ( AN ,ORI5TAL POT5TATE1 :O SUCCESSFULLY RAN = /UD5T GOV]NM5T ) ! S+LE CAMPAIGN PROMISE ?AT IF HE WAS ELECT$1 IT W\LD BE GRATIFY+ = HIS EGO6 ,!RE W]E A FEW ORD9>Y FRAT]NITY_/SORORITY TYPES1 BUT !Y W]E DEF9ITELY 9 ! M9ORITY1 & EV5 !Y1 LIKE ALL ! RE/ ( US1 TOOK A P]V]SE PRIDE 9 ! FACT ?AT 9 ITS ONE 9T]COLLEGIATE SPORT1 BASKETBALL1 ,%IM] HELD ! NATIONAL RECORD = NUMB] ( CONSECUTIVE LOSSES4 

,AT ,%IM]1 & DUR+ BREAKS 9 ,*ICAGO1 MY NEW FRI5DS 9TRODUC$ ME TO BOOZE1 JAZZ1 FOLK & CLASSICAL MUSIC1 =EIGN FILMS1 E?NIC CUIS9ES1 LEFTI/ POLITICS1 & A LIVELY 9T]RACIAL SC5E4 ,AL?\< ,PLA9/[N WAS NOT FLAGRANTLY RACI/ LIKE ! DEEP ,S\?1 IT WAS DE FACTO SEGREGAT$ BY NEI<BORHOODS1 SO ,I HAD SC>CELY SO MU* AS MET A BLACK P]SON !RE4 ,%IM] ITSELF HAD ONLY A FEW BLACKS1 BUT AT MY FRI5DS' P>TIES 9 ,*ICAGO ,I MET LOTS ( !M4 ,IT WAS ! HEYDAY ( ! E>LY CIVIL RI<TS MOVEM5T & !RE WAS A W>M1 G5U9E1 5?USIA/IC CAM>AD]IE1 UNLIKE ! UNEASY 9T]RACIAL SUSPICION ?AT WAS TO DEVELOP 9 RADICAL CIRCLES A FEW YE>S LAT]4 ,?\< ,I WAS /ILL APOLITICAL ON PR9CIPLE1 ,I WAS BEG9N+ TO DISC>D MY /ILT$ AMORALISM2 MY NEW FRI5DS & SURR\ND+S W]E HELP+ ME TO LOOS5 UP1 TO BECOME MORE HUMAN & MORE HUMANI/IC4 

,ANO!R BIG 9FLU5CE 9 ?IS DIRECTION WAS ! FOLK MUSIC REVIVAL1 :I* WAS JU/ GETT+ UND] WAY4 ,! SIMPLICITY & DIRECTNESS ( FOLK MUSIC WAS A REFRE%+ CONTRA/ TO ! 9ANE POP MUSIC ( ! TIME4 ,JOAN ,BAEZ'S FIR/ ALBUM WAS ! MO/ POPUL> ONE ON CAMPUS2 BUT SOME ( MY FRI5DS HAD GR[N UP ON ,WOODY ,GU?RIE & ,PETE ,SEEG] & HAD ALREADY DEVELOP$ MORE PURI/IC TA/ES1 & !Y TURN$ ME ON TO E>LI]1 E>?I] & EV5 MORE EXCIT+ >TI/S -- ABOVE ALL ! GREAT ,LEADBELLY4 ,I WAS ALSO 9SPIR$ BY ! FIR/ FOLKS+] ,I EV] SAW 9 P]SON1 ,RAMBL9' ,JACK ,ELLIOTT1 A P]=M] 9 ! ,GU?RIE TRADITION :O TRAVEL$ >\ND ! C\NTRY 9 AN OLD PICKUP4 ,I WANT$ NO?+ BETT] ?AN TO PLAY GUIT> LIKE ?AT4 ,MOREOV]1 SU* AN ASPIRATION WAS NOT TOTALLY UNREALI/IC4 ,FOLK MUSIC L5T ITSELF TO P>TICIPATION -- Y\ C\LD EASILY S+ ALONG ) IT & ALMO/ AS EASILY LE>N TO PLAY IT1 AT LEA/ AT A SIMPLE LEVEL4 ,MANY ( MY FRI5DS W]E ALREADY DO+ SO4 ,I />T$ TO LE>N GUIT>1 & ALSO EV5TUALLY LE>N$ TO FIDDLE SOME SIMPLE TUNES4 

,?AT W9T]1 AFT] A FEW AMOR\S RELATIONS ?AT HAD NEV] GOT BEYOND ! HEAVY PETT+ /AGE1 ,I F9ALLY F\ND A Y\NG WOMAN :O SAID YES4 ,! BLESS$ EV5T TOOK PLACE 9 ! ,FOLKLORE ,SOCIETY (FICE1 :I* HAPP5$ TO HAVE A CONV5I5T C\*4 7,F9D+ A PLACE = LOVEMAK+ WAS A P]5NIAL PROBLEM AT ,%IM] UNTIL DORM REGULATIONS W]E LIB]ALIZ$ SEV]AL YE>S LAT]4 ,9 SPR+ & FALL WE RESORT$ TO ! CAMPUS GOLF C\RSE1 :I* WAS NEV] US$ = ANY?+ ELSE1 OR TO ! NE>BY T[N CEMET]Y2 BUT DUR+ W9T] IT WAS TOO COLD1 & ALL SORTS ( PREC>I\S ALT]NATIVES W]E ATTEMPT$47 

,A FEW WEEKS LAT] ,I ALSO LO/ :AT Y\ MI<T CALL MY SPIRITUAL VIRG9ITY4 ,?IS WAS JU/ #aifb &1 \TSIDE ( A FEW M>G9AL URBAN SC5ES1 DRUGS W]E /ILL PRACTICALLY UNKN[N4 ,V]Y FEW COLLEGE /UD5TS HAD EV5 TRI$ M>IJUANA4 ,AS = PSY*$ELICS1 SC>CELY ANYONE HAD SO MU* AS HE>D ( !M4 ,!Y W]5'T EV5 ILLEGAL YET4 ,MIKE ,BE>DSLEY & ,I ORD]$ A L>GE BOX ( PEYOTE BUTTONS FROM ! ,SMI? ,CACTUS ,RAN* 9 ,TEXAS1 :I* W]E DULY DELIV]$ )\T ! PO/AL S]VICE OR ! S*OOL AU?ORITIES TAK+ ! SLI<TE/ NOTICE4 ,A FEW DAYS LAT]1 )\T MU* IDEA ( :AT WE W]E 9 =1 WE +E/$ SOME ( !M4 

,= AN H\R OR SO WE 5DUR$ ! PEYOTE NAUSEA1 !N1 AS ?AT FAD$1 WE BEGAN FEEL+ SOME?+ /RANGE & EXTREMELY UNSETTL+ HAPP5+4 ,AT FIR/ ,I ?\<T ,I WAS GO+ 9SANE4 ,F9ALLY ,I MANAG$ TO RELAX & SETTLE 9TO IT4 ,WE SP5T MO/ ( ! DAY 9 \R ROOM1 LY+ D[N ) \R EYES CLOS$1 WAT*+ ! %IFT+ PATT]NS EVOK$ BY DIFF]5T K9DS ( MUSIC -- MO/ UN=GETTABLY ,PROK(IEV'S FIR/ ?REE PIANO CONC]TOS1 :I* WE SAVOR$ = !IR UNIQUE COMB9ATION ( CLASSICAL LUCIDITY1 ROMANTIC EXTRAVAGANCE & ZANY TRIPP9ESS4 ,EV]Y?+ WAS FRE%1 LIKE RETURN+ TO E>LY *ILDHOOD OR WAK+ UP 9 ! ,G>D5 ( ,$52 AS IF ?+S W]E SUDD5LY 9 #c-,D COLOR ?AT WE HAD PREVI\SLY SE5 ONLY 9 FLAT BLACK & :ITE4 ,BUT :AT REALLY MADE ! EXP]I5CE SO OV]:ELM+ WAS NOT ! S5SORY EFFECTS1 BUT ! WAY ! :OLE S5SE ( 0SELF 0 WAS %AK54 ,WE W]E NOT JU/ LOOK+ ON FROM \TSIDE2 WE \RSELVES W]E P>T ( ?IS VIBRANT1 PULSAT+ WORLD4 

,) VISIONS ( ,RIMBAUD & ,K]\AC DANC+ 9 \R HEADS1 WE NEGLECT$ \R CLASSES & BEGAN DREAM+ ( QUITT+ S*OOL & HEAD+ \T ON \R [N TO EXPLORE ! GREAT WORLD4 ,?AT SPR+ WE BO? DID SO4 ,MIKE & HIS GIRLFRI5D ,NANCY W5T TO ,B]KELEY1 :]E %E HAD SOME FRI5DS4 ,I DECID$ TO *ECK \T ,V5ICE ,WE/ S9CE ,J4,R4'S FRI5D WAS /ILL \T !RE4 

,V5ICE WAS FULL ( ,BEAT POETS1 AB/RACT EXPRESSIONI/ PA9T]S1 JAZZ MUSICIANS1 SEXUAL NONCON=MI/S1 JUNKIES1 BUMS1 HU/L]S1 PETTY CROOKS -- & LOTS ( UND]COV] COPS4 ,V]Y EXCIT+1 BUT ALSO V]Y P>ANOID2 F> FROM ! RELAX$ OP5NESS & JOY\SNESS ( ! LAT] HIPPIE SC5E4 ,)\T ! HIPPIES' ECONOMIC CU%ION ( EASY PANH&L+1 IT WAS ALSO MU* MORE D[N & \T4 ,NEV] KN[+ :]E MY NEXT MEAL WAS COM+ FROM OR :]E ,I MI<T 5D UP SP5D+ ! NI<T1 ,I SCRAP$ BY ONE WAY & ANO!R444 

,EV5TUALLY ,I WAS BU/$ = PETTY !FT4 ,S9CE ,I WAS A M9OR & IT WAS MY FIR/ (F5SE1 ,I WAS ONLY 9 = ?REE DAYS BE=E BE+ %IPP$ BACK TO ! CU/ODY ( MY P>5TS 9 ,PLA9/[N4 

,?AT1 =TUNATELY1 HAS BE5 MY ONLY EXP]I5CE ( PRISON4 ,BE+ CONF9$ IS BAD 5\<1 BUT :AT MAKES IT REALLY NAUSEAT+ IS ! MEAN1 SICK1 9HUMAN AMBIANCE4 ,AS A :ITE MIDDLE-CLASS KID1 ,I WAS ( C\RSE JU/ SCREW+ >\ND & WAS ALWAYS FREE TO RETURN TO MORE COM=TABLE CIRCUM/ANCES2 BUT ,I NEV] =GET ?OSE :O HAV5'T BE5 SO LUCKY4 ,?9K+ ( PEOPLE BE+ LOCK$ 9 !RE = YE>S MAKES ME ANGRI] ?AN JU/ AB\T ANY?+4 

,= ! NEXT FEW MON?S ,I LIV$ ) MY P>5TS1 WORK+ AT A LOCAL BOOK/ORE & DO+ A LOT ( READ+ -- ,BLAKE1 ,?OREAU1 ,LAUTREAMONT1 ,BRETON1 ,CEL9E1 ,HESSE1 ,D4,T4 ,SUZUKI1 ,ALAN ,WATTS1 & ABOVE ALL ,H5RY ,MILL]1 BY !N MY FAVORITE AU?OR4 ,AFT] DECADES ( C5SOR%IP HIS TWO ,TROPIC BOOKS HAD JU/ BECOME AVAILABLE 9 ,AM]ICA1 & !Y HIT ME LIKE A BOMB%ELL4 ,H]E1 ,I ?\<T1 IS A REAL P]SON1 TALK+ AB\T REAL LIFE1 BEYOND ALL ! >TIFICES ( LIT]ATURE4 ,I NO LONG] TAKE ,MILL] S]I\SLY AS A ?9K]1 BUT ,I /ILL LOVE ! HUMOR & GU/O ( HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL NOVELS4 

,ANO!R HEAL?Y & EV5 MORE 5DUR+ 9FLU5CE WAS ,G>Y ,SNYD]4 ,I ALREADY KNEW AB\T HIM AS 0,JAPHY ,RYD]10 ! H]O ( ,K]\AC'S ,! ,DH>MA ,BUMS4 ,IT'S A WOND]FUL BOOK1 BUT C]TA9 ASPECTS ( ,SNYD] W]E UTT]LY BEYOND ,K]\AC'S COMPREH5SION4 ,SNYD]'S [N WRIT+S W]E MORE LUCID & HIS LIFE WAS MORE 9SPIR+4 ,I HAD BE5 9TRIGU$ BY :AT ,I HAD READ AB\T ,Z5 ,BUDDHISM1 BUT H]E WAS SOMEONE :O HAD ACTUALLY /UDI$ ,ORI5TAL LANGUAGES & GONE TO ,JAPAN = YE>S ( RIGOR\S ,Z5 TRA9+4 ,I C\LDN'T HAVE BE5 F>!R FROM ?AT SORT ( SELF-DISCIPL9E1 BUT ,I />T$ READ+ MORE BOOKS ON ,Z51 ) ! IDEA ?AT ,I'D LIKE TO EXPLORE IT 9 PRACTICE IF ,I GOT A *ANCE4 

,9 ADDITION TO ,SNYD]'S POETRY1 ,I WAS ALSO /RUCK BY HIS ESSAY ,BUDDHI/ ,AN>*ISM 7LAT] REPR9T$ 9 ,E>? ,H\SE ,HOLD UND] ! TITLE 0,BUDDHISM & ! ,COM+ ,REVOLUTION074 ,DESPITE MY SYMPA?Y = CIVIL RI<TS & O!R DISSID5T CAUSES ESP\S$ BY SOME ( MY ,%IM] FRI5DS1 ,I HAD UNTIL !N REMA9$ APOLITICAL ON PR9CIPLE1 FEEL+ 7LIKE ,H5RY ,MILL]7 ?AT ALL POLITICS WAS SUP]FICIAL BULL%IT & ?AT IF ANY FUNDAM5TAL *ANGE WAS TO COME AB\T IT W\LD HAVE TO BE ?R\< SOME SORT ( 0REVOLUTION ( ! HE>T40 ,9/9CTIVELY DETE/+ :AT ,REXRO? CALLS ! ,SOCIAL ,LIE1 ,I C\LD NEV] GET V]Y EXCIT$ AB\T ! GOAL ( 5ABL+ PEOPLE TO HAVE A 0NORMAL LIFE0 :5 PRES5T-DAY NORMAL LIFE WAS PRECISELY :AT ,I HAD DESPIS$ S9CE ,I WAS #a#c4 ,SNYD]'S ESSAY DID NOT ALT] ?IS VIEW1 BUT IT %[$ ME H[ A RADICAL SOCIAL P]SPECTIVE C\LD BE RELAT$ TO SPIRITUAL 9SI<T4 ,I /ILL DIDN'T PAY MU* ATT5TION TO POLITICAL MATT]S1 BUT ! WAY WAS OP5$ = EV5TUAL SOCIAL 5GAGEM5T :5 ,I LAT] CONFRONT$ ISSUES ?AT SEEM$ MEAN+FUL TO ME4 

,BY ,JANU>Y #aifc ,I HAD ACCUMULAT$ 5\< BOOK/ORE E>N+S 7SUPPLEM5T$ BY SOME W9N+S FROM A LOCAL POK] GAME7 TO QUIT MY JOB & BEG9 V5TUR+ \T ( T[N AGA94 ,TO BEG9 )1 ,I HIT*$ UP TO SEE ,J4,R41 N[ BACK 9 ,/4 ,L\IS1 HANG+ \T 9 A BIK] SC5E & WORK+1 ( ALL ?+S1 AS AN ATT5DANT 9 A /ATE M5TAL HOSPITAL4 ,J4,R4 HIMSELF1 IF NOT EXACTLY 9SANE1 WAS ALWAYS A PRETTY ECC5TRIC *>ACT]4 ,9 LAT] YE>S HE SUCCESSIVELY ADOPT$ SO MANY 9T5TIONALLY \TRAGE\S P]SONAS1 FROM ,W4,C4 ,FIELDSIAN CON MAN TO OLD-TIME FRONTI]SMAN TO CANTANK]\S REACTION>Y1 ?AT ,I'M NOT SURE EV5 HE HIMSELF ALWAYS DI/+UI%$ ! IRONY FROM ! REALITY4 ,HE DI$ A FEW YE>S AGO ( CIRRHOSIS ( ! LIV] AT ! AGE ( #d#f4 

,!N ,I MADE A SECOND ,CALI=NIA TRIP1 ?IS TIME ) ,SAM4 ,I HADN'T SE5 HIM MU* S9CE *ILDHOOD DAYS -- WE HAD GONE TO DIFF]5T S*OOLS1 & HE HAD REMA9$ A RA!R CONV5TIONAL1 POPUL>1 \TGO+ GUY :ILE ,I WAS ALREADY 9 F]V5T 9TELLECTUAL REVOLT4 ,BUT HE GOT HIP ONCE HE W5T TO COLLEGE2 BY ! TIME ,I SAW HIM AGA9 HE HAD DISCOV]$ JAZZ1 GR[N A BE>D & />T$ WRIT+ FREE=M POETRY4 ,DUR+ HIS SEME/] BREAK WE PICK$ UP A DRIVEAWAY C> FROM A ,MISS\RI DEAL]1 DROVE TO ,B]KELEY1 !N D[N TO ,LOS ,ANGELES1 :]E WE LOOK$ UP MY ,V5ICE ,WE/ BUDDIES & DELIV]$ ! C>1 & BUSS$ BACK TO ,MISS\RI1 ALL 9 ! SPACE ( T5 DAYS4 

,NEXT1 ,I W5T D[N TO ,TEXAS1 :]E ,MIKE & ,NANCY ,BE>DSLEY HAD MOV$ :ILE %E HAD !IR BABY4 ,?IS :OLE P]IOD /ILL REMA9S MAGICAL = ME1 ?\< ,I CAN DIMLY RECALL ONLY A FEW ( \R V5TURES -- HOPP+ ON A MOV+ FREI<T TRA9 JU/ TO SEE :AT IT FELT LIKE2 TRY+ ! POISON\S WIT* DRUG1 BELLADONNA1 & F9D+ \RSELVES 9 A PSY*OTIC NI<TM>E WORLD444 ,EV5 IF SOME ( \R ESCAPADES W]E PRETTY FOOLI%1 WE W]E EXPLOR+ ?+S = \RSELVES2 !RE W]E AS YET NO M$IA-PROPAGAT$ MODELS TO IMITATE4 ,ISOLAT$ 9 ,MID-,AM]ICA1 OCCASIONALLY 5C\NT]+ SOME K9DR$ SPIRIT ) :OM WE W\LD PASSIONATELY %>E ?IS OR ?AT DISCOV]Y OR ASPIRATION OR PREMONITION1 GROP+ = ! SORT ( P]SPECTIVE ?AT TOOK %APE A FEW YE>S LAT] 9 ! HIP C\NT]CULTURE1 WE S5S$ ?AT SOME?+ NEW WAS 9 ! AIR1 BUT ! ONLY ?+ WE KNEW = C]TA9 WAS ?AT ! WORLD 9 :I* WE F\ND \RSELVES WAS FUNDAM5TALLY ABSURD4 ,?AT WORLD ITSELF WAS /ILL UTT]LY OBLIVI\S TO :AT WAS BREW+4 7,BE> 9 M9D ?AT MO/ ( ! ?+S 0! SIXTIES0 >E KN[N = DIDN'T REALLY GET UND] WAY1 OR AT LEA/ COME TO PUBLIC NOTICE1 UNTIL >\ND #a#i#f#e-#f#f47 

,?AT SPR+ WE ALL MOV$ TO ,*ICAGO & GOT AN AP>TM5T TOGE!R 9 ,HYDE ,P>K4 ,:5 ,I WASN'T WORK+ AT ODD JOBS 7FIR/ 9 A W>EH\SE1 !N1 RA!R MORE CONG5IALLY1 9 A FOLK MUSIC /ORE7 ,I BABYSAT !IR BABY :ILE !Y WORK$1 & HUNG \T ) A FEW O!R OLD ,%IM] FRI5DS4 ,I ALSO DISCOV]$ A SMALL ,Z5 C5T] & GOT MY FIR/ TA/E ( =MAL M$ITATION4 

,?IS EXP]I5CE1 PLUS ! FACT ?AT ,I WAS GETT+ TIR$ ( ! HASSLES ( POV]TY1 GOT ME 9 ! MOOD TO GET MY LIFE ORGANIZ$ & MOVE ON TO O!R ?+S4 ,AS A FIR/ /EP1 ,I DECID$ TO GO BACK & F9I% UP MY ,%IM] DEGREE1 ) ! T5TATIVE IDEA 7,SNYD]'S EXAMPLE 9 M9D7 ( GO+ ON TO ,ORI5TAL /UDIES 9 GRAD S*OOL1 & !N CONCEIVABLY EV5 GO+ TO ,JAPAN = ,Z5 MONA/IC TRA9+4 

,BACK AT ,%IM] ,I HAD TWO MA9 EXTRACURRICUL> ACTIVITIES4 ,ONE WAS MAK+ LOVE ) MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRI5D ,AILI4 ,! O!R WAS FOLK MUSIC4 ,SEV]AL FRI5DS & ,I PLAY$ EV]Y *ANCE WE GOT1 MODEL+ \R /YLES ON ! OLDE/ & MO/ 0AU!NTIC0 RECORD+S -- ,APPALA*IAN BALLADS & FIDDLE TUNES1 OLD-TIMEY /R+ B&S 7,*>LIE ,POOLE1 ,GID ,TANN]1 ,CL>5CE ,A%LEY1 ! ,C>OL9A ,T> ,HEELS71 FIELD HOLL]S1 JUG B&S1 C\NTRY BLUES 7,BL9D ,LEMON ,JEFF]SON1 ,SLEEPY ,JOHN ,E/ES1 ,*>LEY ,PATTON1 ,SON ,H\SE1 ,ROB]T ,JOHNSON74 

,! GOLD5 AGE WAS ! #a#i#bS1 :5 LOCALLY POPUL> MUSICIANS ALL OV] ! C\NTRY W]E MORE OR LESS 9DISCRIM9ATELY RECORD$ BY SMALL COMM]CIAL COMPANIES SE>*+ = POT5TIAL HIT MAT]IAL4 ,!RE WAS AN IMM5SE V>IETY ( /YLES -- ?OSE 9 ONE REGION W]E (T5 QUITE DIFF]5T FROM ?OSE 9 ! NEI<BOR+ /ATE OR EV5 C\NTY4 ,9 ! #a#i#cS ! ,DEPRESSION WIP$ \T ! REGIONAL RURAL M>KETS JU/ AS RECORD+S & RADIO W]E LEAD+ TO 9CREAS+ HOMOG5IZATION1 ) LOCAL P]=M]S BE+ 9FLU5C$ BY NEW NATIONWIDE />S LIKE ,JIMMIE ,RODG]S1 ! ,C>T] ,FAMILY & ! FIR/ BLUEGRASS & C\NTRY-WE/]N GR\PS 7OR ANALOG\SLY 9 BLACK MUSIC1 BY MORE CITIFI$ BLUES & JAZZ74 

,I 5JOY$ SOME ( ! ,RODG]S & ,C>T] ,FAMILY SONGS1 BUT ?AT'S AB\T AS MOD]N AS MY TA/ES EV] GOT4 ,! SLICKNESS ( BLUEGRASS 7TO SAY NO?+ ( ! SAPP9ESS ( C\NTRY-WE/]N7 LEFT ME COLD2 IT HAD LO/ ! HAUNT+ QUALITY ,I LOV$ 9 ! OLD M\NTA9 BALLADS & TUNES4 ,= REALLY V9TAGE MUSIC1 MY FRI5DS & ,I TURN$ TO REISSUES ( ! #a#i#bS RECORD+S1 TO ! FIELD RECORD+S MADE = ! ,LIBR>Y ( ,CONGRESS 9 ! #a#i#cS1 & TO LIVE P]=MANCES BY ! FEW SURVIV+ OLD-TIME GREATS :O HAD BE5 R$ISCOV]$ & BR\<T TO PLAY BE=E 5TRANC$ URBAN AUDI5CES4 ,= PURI/S LIKE \RSELVES1 ! ANNUAL ,UNIV]SITY ( ,*ICAGO ,FOLK ,FE/IVAL WAS ! BE/ 9 ! C\NTRY4 ,I /ILL REMEMB] ! AFT]-CONC]T P>TIES AT MY FRI5DS' AP>TM5TS -- HUNDR$S ( PEOPLE PLAY+ 9 EV]Y ROOM & OV]FL[+ 9TO ! /AIRWELLS FROM MIDNI<T TILL DAWN1 !N1 AFT] A FEW H\RS ( SLEEP1 EXCIT$LY RETURN+ TO ! CAMPUS = ! NEXT DAY'S CONC]TS & WORK%OPS4 ,CONSID]+ ITS F> SMALL] SIZE1 ,%IM] DIDN'T DO SO BADLY EI!R3 DUR+ MY TWO YE>S AS PRESID5T ( ! ,FOLKLORE ,SOCIETY1 ,I MANAG$ TO >RANGE CONC]TS BY ,DOCK ,BOGGS1 ,SON ,H\SE1 ,SLEEPY ,JOHN ,E/ES & ,BIG ,JOE ,WILLIAMS1 AS WELL AS ! GR&DADDY ( MOD]N OLD-TIMEY GR\PS1 ! ,NEW ,LO/ ,CITY ,RAMBL]S1 :OSE YE>LY APPE>ANCES HAD BECOME A ,%IM] TRADITION4 ,J4,R4 & ,I ALSO MADE A SORT ( FIELD TRIP ( \R [N1 HIT*+ FROM ,/4 ,L\IS TO ,MEMPHIS TO RECORD ,GUS ,CANNON & ,WILL ,%ADE1 ! LA/ SURVIV+ MEMB]S ( ! GREAT JUG B&S ( ! TW5TIES4 

,I ?9K MO/ REAL $UCATION IS SELF-$UCATION1 & ,I HAVE A V]Y L[ OP9ION ( MO/ $UCATIONAL 9/ITUTIONS4 ,BUT ,I DO WANT TO SAY ?AT1 F> FROM 9T]F]+ ) MY $UCATION AS MO/ S*OOLS W\LD HAVE1 ,%IM] ACTUALLY FO/]$ IT 9 MANY WAYS4 ,ONE ( MY S5IOR-YE> C\RSES 9TRODUC$ ME TO TWO ( MY BIGGE/ 9FLU5CES4 ,WE W]E EXAM9+ A NUMB] ( DIFF]5T PHILOSOPHIES ( LIFE 7,KI]KEGA>D1 ,BUB]1 ,CAMUS1 ETC474 ,= ME1 ,BUB]'S ,I & ,?\ /OOD \T FROM ALL ! O!R READ+S4 ,M>T9 ,BUB] WAS A REAL MAN ( WISDOM1 ONE ( ! FEW ,WE/]N RELIGI\S ?9K]S ,I CAN /OMA*4 ,DUR+ ONE ( \R DISCUSSIONS A CLASSMATE PULL$ \T A COPY ( ,K5NE? ,REXRO?'S ,BIRD 9 ! ,BU% & READ SOME PASSAGES FROM HIS ESSAY ON ,BUB]4 ,I IMM$IATELY BORR[$ IT1 DEV\R$ IT1 & WAS NEV] QUITE ! SAME AGA94 

,:5 ,I GRADUAT$ FROM ,%IM] 7#a#i#f#e7 !RE WAS NO QUE/ION AB\T :]E ,I W\LD GO NEXT4 ,EV]Y?+ ,I HAD HE>D AB\T ! ,BAY ,>EA S\ND$ GREAT1 FROM ! ,SAN ,FRANCISCO POETRY R5AISSANCE ( ! FIFTIES TO ! REC5T ,FREE ,SPEE* ,MOVEM5T AT ! ,UNIV]SITY ( ,CALI=NIA 9 ,B]KELEY4 ,ADD+ TO ! APPEAL1 ,SAM 7N[ ) A WIFE & BABY7 HAD ALREADY MOV$ !RE TO DO GRADUATE /UDY 9 POETRY4 ,ONE ( HIS TEA*]S HAD BE5 NONE O!R ?AN ,G>Y ,SNYD]1 JU/ BACK FROM SEV]AL YE>S ( ,Z5 /UDY 9 ,JAPAN2 & ?AT FALL HE W\LD BE TAK+ A CLASS FROM -- ,K5NE? ,REXRO?6 ,AFT] WORK+ ?AT SUMM] AT A /EEL MILL 9 ,EA/ ,*ICAGO1 ,I MOV$ TO ,B]KELEY4 ,I'VE LIV$ H]E EV] S9CE4 

,B]KELEY 9 ! SIXTIES 

,IT WAS A WOND]FUL TIME TO >RIVE4 ,Y\ C\LD /ILL FEEL ! 9VIGORAT+ REV]B]ATIONS FROM ! ,F,S,M2 !RE W]E LIVELY1 ONGO+ CONV]SATIONS ON CAMPUS1 ON /REET CORN]S1 9 CAFES1 EV]Y:]E Y\ W5T -- & NOT JU/ AMONG HIPPIES & RADICALS2 ORD9>Y LIB]ALS & EV5 Y\NG CONS]VATIVES W]E VIVIDLY AW>E ?AT EV]Y?+ WAS BE+ CALL$ 9TO QUE/ION & W]E DRAWN 9TO DEBATES AB\T EV]Y ASPECT ( LIFE4 

,OV] ! NEXT YE>1 ,I TOOK GRADUATE CLASSES AT ! SMALL & N[ DEFUNCT ,AM]ICAN ,ACADEMY ( ,ASIAN ,/UDIES 9 ,SAN ,FRANCISCO4 ,AP>T FROM ?AT1 ,I SP5T MO/ ( ! TIME TRIPP+ >\ND ) ,SAM4 ,?R\< HIM1 ,I GOT 9 ON ! LIVELY ,BAY ,>EA POETRY SC5E1 MEET+ LOTS ( O!R Y\NG POETS & GO+ TO SCADS ( READ+S BY SOME ( ! MO/ VITAL FIGURES ( ! PREVI\S G5]ATION -- ,REXRO?1 ,SNYD]1 ,WILLIAM ,EV]SON1 ,ROB]T ,DUNCAN1 ,LAWR5CE ,F]L+HETTI1 ,ALL5 ,G9SB]G1 ,PHILIP ,:AL51 ,LEW ,WEL%4 ,?\< ,I NEV] WROTE MU* POETRY MYSELF1 ,I WAS IMM]S$ 9 IT4 ,SAM & ,I W\LD READ ,:ITMAN OR ,PAT*5 OR ,WILLIAM ,C>LOS ,WILLIAMS AL\D1 SOMETIMES ) JAZZ BACKGR\ND1 OR IMPROVISE *A9 POEMS ) EA* O!R :ILE DRIV+ OV] ! ,BAY ,BRIDGE TO ,SAN ,FRANCISCO1 :]E ,I TAGG$ ALONG ) HIM TO ,LEW ,WEL%'S NI<T-S*OOL POETRY CLASS & TO ! OP5-5D$ DISCUSSION 0CLASS0 GIV5 BY ,REXRO? AT ,S,F ,/ATE4 

,MU* AS ,I LIK$ ,REXRO?1 ,I WAS AT FIR/ MORE EXCIT$ BY ,WEL%4 ,HE WAS A LOT Y\NG]1 MORE LIKE A PE]1 %>+ \R ZANY S5SE ( HUMOR & Y\?FUL 5?USIASMS = PSY*$ELICS & ! NEW ROCK MUSIC4 ,:AT ,I REMEMB] MO/ WAS HIS /RESS ON F9D+ ! RI<T WORD4 ,FEEL+ ?AT POETS HAD A %AMANIC VOCATION TO EXPRESS ! CRUCIAL REALITIES 9 ! MO/ 9CISIVE WAY1 HE ALWAYS D5\NC$ ANY 0*EAT+0 9 A POEM1 ANY SLOPPY1 S5TIM5TAL1 09ACCURATE0 PHRAS+4 

,REXRO?1 ?\< ALSO SYMPA!TIC TO \R 5?USIASMS1 WAS MORE DETA*$ & IRONIC AB\T !M4 ,HE POOH-POOH$ PSY*$ELICS1 = EXAMPLE4 ,AT FIR/ ,I ?\<T ?IS WAS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T KN[ :AT HE WAS TALK+ AB\T2 BUT AFT] READ+ SOME ( HIS MY/ICAL POEMS ,I REALIZ$ ?AT HE KNEW !SE EXP]I5CES DEEPLY1 :E!R OR NOT HE HAD US$ ANY *EMICAL MEANS TO >RIVE AT !M4 ,LITTLE BY LITTLE ,I CAME TO APPRECIATE HIS SUBTLE1 L[-KEY WISDOM & MAGNANIMITY4 

,DUR+ MY FIR/ C\PLE YE>S 9 ,B]KELEY ,I TOOK >\ND A DOZ5 PSY*$ELIC TRIPS ) ,SAM & O!R FRI5DS4 ,USUALLY ?REE OR F\R ( US W\LD GET TOGE!R 9 SOME QUIET PLACE :]E WE W\LD NOT BE DI/URB$1 PREF]ABLY ) AN EXP]I5C$ NONP>TICIPANT ON H& :O C\LD TAKE C>E ( ANY NECESS>Y ]R&S4 ,MO/ (T5 WE SIMPLY LI/5$ TO MUSIC1 LETT+ ! OP5+ ( AN ,9DIAN RAGA TAKE US BACK TO ! TIMELESS BEG9N+ ( ! UNIV]SE1 OR FEEL+ ! NOTES ( A ,BA* H>PSI*ORD P>TITA P\R ?R\< US LIKE A %[] ( JEWELS4 ,SOMETIMES WE GOT 9TO A HUMOR ZONE 9 :I* A S5SE ( UNIV]SAL SACR$NESS WAS 9SEP>ABLE FROM A S5SE ( ! FUNDAM5TAL ZAN9ESS ( EV]Y?+ -- \R *EEKS W\LD /ILL BE SORE ! NEXT DAY FROM ! MULTIPLE ORGASMS ( LAU<T]4 ,SOMETIMES WE W5T \T 9TO ! WOODS3 ,I REMEMB] TWO ESPECIALLY LOVELY PSILOCYB9 TRIPS 9 A T9Y CAB9 9 A NE>BY CANYON -- 9 ! AFT]GL[ ,I ALMO/ FELT LIKE F\ND+ A NATURE RELIGION4 ,I F\ND PSY*$ELICS OV]:ELM+ 5\< )\T ADD+ ! NOISE & CONFUSION ( L>GE CR[DS1 BUT ,I MADE AN EXCEPTION = A R>E ,B]KELEY APPE>ANCE ( ,BOB ,DYLAN4 ,ON ANO!R OCCASION1 ,SAM & ,I TOOK SOME ACID & W5T TO ONE ( ! FIR/ MAJOR M>*ES AGA9/ ! ,VIETNAM W> 7,OCTOB] #a#i#f#e74 ,WE KNEW1 ( C\RSE1 ?AT ?IS W\LD H>DLY BE AN IDEAL 5VIRONM5T = A CALM TRIP1 BUT WE ?\<T ?AT IT MI<T BE 9T]E/+ TO SEE H[ ! TWO REALMS W\LD GO TOGE!R4 7,NOT ?AT BADLY4 ,SOME ( ! /RAI<T POLITICOS' SPEE*MAK+ SEEM$ RA!R J>R+1 BUT ,I 5JOY$ ! G5]AL S5SE ( 5GAG$ COMMUNITY47 

,9 FALL ( #aiff ,I QUIT S*OOL4 ,!RE W]E TOO MANY MORE EXCIT+ ?+S GO+ ON4 ,! UND]GR\ND HIP C\NT]CULTURE1 :I* HAD JU/ BEGUN TO SURFACE A YE> OR SO BE=E1 WAS N[ SPREAD+ LIKE WILDFIRE4 ,HAI<T-,A%BURY WAS OV]FL[+ 9TO ! /REETS 9 VIRTUALLY A NON/OP P>TY4 ,T5S ( ?\S&S ( Y\NG PEOPLE W]E COM+ \T TO SEE :AT WAS HAPP5+1 9CLUD+ DOZ5S ( MY FRI5DS FROM ,%IM]1 ,*ICAGO & ,MISS\RI4 

,MY LITTLE COTTAGE 7TWO #a' X #a' ROOMS PLUS KIT*5 & BA? = @s#c#e A MON?7 S]V$ AS A HALFWAY H\SE1 SOMETIMES ACCOMMODAT+ AS MANY AS SEV5 OR EI<T PEOPLE AT ONCE4 ,N[ ?AT ,I'M SO US$ TO QUIETLY LIV+ ALONE1 IT'S H>D TO IMAG9E H[ ,I PUT UP ) IT4 ,BUT WE W]E ALL Y\NG1 %>+ MANY ( ! SAME 5?USIASMS1 & :5 WE W]5'T \T AT CONC]TS1 OR CAVORT+ >\ND ,TELEGRAPH ,AV5UE OR ,HAI<T-,A%BURY OR ,*9AT[N OR ,GOLD5 ,GATE ,P>K1 OR (F CAMP+ SOME:]E1 WE HAPPILY HUNG >\ND ! H\SE READ+1 RAPP+1 JAMM+1 LI/5+ TO RECORDS & SC>F+ ! DELICI\S HOMEMADE BREAD WE BAK$ FRE% EV]Y DAY1 )\T M9D+ TOO MU* ?AT WE H>DLY HAD ROOM 5\< TO PUT D[N \R SLEEP+ BAGS4 ,& ( C\RSE BE+ TURN$ ON MO/ ( ! TIME HELP$ KEEP EV]Y?+ MELL[4 

,MY P>5TS HAD SUPPORT$ ME :ILE ,I WAS 9 S*OOL1 BUT AFT] ,I DROPP$ \T ,I WAS BACK ON MY [N4 ,LIKE SO MANY O!RS DUR+ ! SIXTIES1 ,I GOT BY QUITE WELL ON PRACTICALLY NO?+1 GETT+ FOOD /AMPS1 %>+ *EAP R5T AMONG SEV]AL PEOPLE1 SELL+ UND]GR\ND PAP]S1 PICK+ UP V]Y OCCASIONAL ODD JOBS4 ,)9 A FEW M9UTES ,I C\LD HIT* A RIDE ANY:]E 9 ,B]KELEY OR ACROSS ! BAY TO ,SAN ,FRANCISCO1 & (T5 GET TURN$ ON TO BOOT4 ,IF NECESS>Y1 ,I C\LD EASILY PANH&LE ! PRICE ( A MEAL OR A CONC]T TICKET4 

,AFT] HALF A YE> ( ?IS PLEASANT BUT SOME:AT PREC>I\S LIFE/YLE1 ,I GOT A JOB AS A MAIL C>RI]1 WORK$ SIX MON?S1 !N QUIT & LIV$ ON MY SAV+S = ! NEXT C\PLE YE>S4 ,JU/ AS ?AT WAS AB\T TO RUN \T1 ,I DISCOV]$ A WEEKLY POK] GAME1 & ! @s#a OR SO P] MON? :I* ?IS NETT$ ME1 SUPPLEM5T$ BY DRIV+ ONE DAY A WEEK = A HIPPIE TAXI CO-OP1 5ABL$ ME TO GET BY = ! NEXT FEW YE>S4 

,IF ! HE>T ( ! C\NT]CULTURE WAS PSY*$ELICS1 ITS MO/ VISIBLE1 OR RA!R AUDIBLE1 MANIFE/ATION WAS ( C\RSE ! NEW ROCK MUSIC4 ,:5 ! 9CREAS+LY SOPHI/ICAT$ MUSIC ( ! ,BEATLES & O!R GR\PS CONV]G$ ) ! 9CREAS+LY SOPHI/ICAT$ LYRICS ( ,BOB ,DYLAN1 :O WAS BR++ FOLK MUSIC BEYOND CORNY PROTE/ SONGS & RIGID ATTA*M5T TO TRADITIONAL =MS1 WE F9ALLY HAD A POPUL> MUSIC ?AT WE C\LD RELATE TO1 :I* S]V$ AS \R [N FOLK MUSIC4 ,AS ,DYLAN1 ! ,BEATLES & ! ,ROLL+ ,/ONES W]E BECOM+ MORE OP5LY PSY*$ELIC1 ! FIR/ TOTALLY PSY*$ELIC B&S W]E TAK+ %APE 9 ! ,BAY ,>EA4 ,LONG BE=E !Y MADE ANY RECORDS1 WE C\LD SEE ! ,GRATEFUL ,DEAD1 ,C\NTRY ,JOE & ! ,FI%1 ,BIG ,BRO!R & ! ,HOLD+ ,COMPANY & DOZ5S ( O!R EXCIT+ GR\PS ALMO/ ANY DAY WE WANT$ AT ! ,FILLMORE OR ! ,AVALON OR FREE 9 ! P>KS4 

,:5 !Y DID GET >\ND TO RECORD+1 NONE ( !IR RECORDS CAME CLOSE TO CONVEY+ :AT !Y W]E LIKE LIVE1 AS AN 9TEGRAL P>T ( A FL\RI%+ C\NT]CULTURE4 ,?OSE E>LY CONC]TS1 ,TRIPS ,FE/IVALS1 ,ACID ,TE/S & ,BE-,9S1 CORNY AS SU* T]MS MAY N[ S\ND1 9CLUD$ LOTS ( IMPROVIZATION & 9T]ACTION1 (F /AGE AS WELL AS ON4 ,! MUSIC & LI<T %[S W]E CLE>LY SUBORD9ATE TO ! TRIPP+ )9 ! 0AUDI5CE10 LESS A SPECTACLE ?AN AN ACCOMPANIM5T TO EC/ATIC CELEBRATION4 ,IF !RE W]E A FEW FAM\S PEOPLE ON /AGE -- ,LE>Y1 ,G9SB]G1 ,KESEY -- !Y W]E NOT 9ACCESSIBLE />S2 WE KNEW !Y W]E AS TRIPP$ \T AS ! RE/ ( US1 FELL[ TRAVEL]S ON A J\RNEY :OSE DE/9ATION NONE ( US C\LD PR$ICT1 BUT :I* WAS ALREADY FANTA/IC4 

,& ?OSE L>GE PUBLIC GA!R+S W]E ONLY ! TIP ( ! ICEB]G4 ,! MO/ SIGNIFICANT EXP]I5CES W]E P]SONAL & 9T]P]SONAL4 ,!RE WAS CONSID]ABLY MORE 9TELLECTUAL SUB/ANCE TO ! C\NT]CULTURE ?AN APPE>$ TO SUP]FICIAL OBS]V]S4 ,:ILE !RE W]E 9DE$ LOTS ( /]EOTYPICALLY NAIVE & PASSIVE FL[] *ILDR5 7P>TICUL>LY AMONG ! SECOND WAVE ( TE5AG]S1 :O ADOPT$ ! TRAPP+S ( AN ALREADY EXI/+ HIP LIFE/YLE )\T EV] HAV+ TO HAVE GONE ?R\< ANY 9DEP5D5T V5TURES71 MANY HIP PEOPLE HAD BROAD] EXP]I5CES & MORE CRITICAL S5SE1 & W]E 5GAG$ 9 A V>IETY ( CREATIVE & RADICAL PURSUITS4 

,SOME PEOPLE MAY BE SURPRIS$ AT ! CONTRA/ BETWE5 ! SCA?+ CRITIQUES ,I MADE ( ! C\NT]CULTURE 9 SOME ( MY PREVI\S WRIT+S & ! MORE FAVORABLE PICTURE PRES5T$ H]E4 ,IT'S ! CONTEXT ?AT HAS *ANG$1 NOT MY VIEWS4 ,9 ! E>LY SEV5TIES1 :5 EV]YONE WAS /ILL QUITE AW>E ( ! C\NT]CULTURE'S RADICAL ASPECTS1 ,I FELT IT WAS NECESS>Y TO *ALL5GE ITS COMPLAC5CY1 TO PO9T \T ITS LIMITS & ILLUSIONS4 ,N[ ?AT ! RADICAL ASPECTS HAVE BE5 PRACTICALLY =GOTT51 IT SEEMS EQUALLY IMPORTANT TO RECALL JU/ H[ WILD & LIB]AT+ IT WAS4 ,ALONGSIDE ALL ! SPECTACUL> HYPE1 MILLIONS ( PEOPLE W]E MAK+ DRA/IC *ANGES 9 !IR [N LIVES1 C>RY+ \T D>+ & \TRAGE\S EXP]IM5TS !Y C\LD H>DLY HAVE DREAM$ ( A FEW YE>S BE=E4 

,I DON'T D5Y ?AT ! C\NT]CULTURE CONTA9$ A LOT ( PASSIVITY & FOOLI%NESS4 ,I ONLY WANT TO /RESS ?AT WE W]E AIM+ AT -- & TO SOME EXT5T ALREADY EXP]I5C+ -- A FUNDAM5TAL TRANS=MATION ( ALL ASPECTS ( LIFE4 ,WE KNEW H[ PR(\NDLY PSY*$ELICS HAD ALT]$ \R [N \TLOOK4 ,9 ! E>LY SIXTIES1 ONLY A FEW ?\S& PEOPLE HAD HAD ! EXP]I5CE2 FIVE YE>S LAT] ! NUMB] WAS OV] A MILLION4 ,:O WAS TO SAY ?AT ?IS TR5D W\LD NOT CONT9UE & F9ALLY UND]M9E ! :OLE SY/EM8 

,:ILE IT LA/$ IT WAS REM>KABLY TRU/+ & GOOD-NATUR$4 ,I'D ?9K NO?+ ( HIT*+ ) ANYONE1 (F]+ TOTAL /RANG]S A JO9T1 OR 9VIT+ !M OV] TO CRA% AT MY PLACE IF !Y W]E NEW 9 T[N4 ,?IS TRU/ WAS ALMO/ NEV] ABUS$4 ,TRUE1 ,HAI<T-,A%BURY ITSELF DIDN'T LA/ V]Y LONG4 7,! TURN+ PO9T WAS >\ND #a#i#f#g1 :5 ! 0,SUMM] ( ,LOVE0 PUBLICITY BR\<T A HUGE 9FLUX ( LESS EXP]I5C$ TE5AG]S :O W]E MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO EXPLOITATION BY ! P>ALLEL 9FLUX ( RIP(F >TI/S & H>D-DRUG DEAL]S47 ,BUT ELSE:]E ! C\NT]CULTURE CONT9U$ TO FL\RI% & SPREAD = SEV]AL MORE YE>S4 

,P]SONALLY1 ,I WAS 9T]E/$ 9 0M9D-EXP&+0 EXP]I5CES2 M]E M9D-NUMB+ ESCAPI/ KICKS HAD LITTLE APPEAL = ME1 & MO/ ( ! PEOPLE ,I HUNG \T ) FELT ! SAME WAY4 ,AP>T FROM AN OCCASIONAL BE]1 WE SC>CELY EV5 DRANK ALCOHOL -- WE HAD A H>D TIME IMAG9+ H[ ANYONE1 UNLESS EXTREMELY REPRESS$1 C\LD PREF] ! CRUDE & (T5 OBNOXI\S EFFECTS ( BOOZE TO ! B5IGN ES!TIC EFFECTS ( GRASS4 ,AS = H>D DRUGS1 WE SC>CELY EV] HE>D ( !M -- ) ! ONE NOTABLE EXCEPTION ( SPE$ 7AMPHETAM9E74 ,9 MOD]ATE DOSES1 SPE$ ISN'T MU* DIFF]5T ?AN DR9K+ A LOT ( C(FEE1 & MO/ ( US HAD OCCASIONALLY US$ IT TO /AY UP ALL NI<T TO WRITE A S*OOL PAP] OR TO DRIVE ACROSS ! C\NTRY4 ,BUT IT DOESN'T TAKE MU* TO BECOME DANG]\S4 ,IT 5D$ UP KILL+ ,SAM4 

,9 #aiff HE HAD BEGUN TAK+ A LOT ( SPE$1 & BY #aifg HE WAS BECOM+ 9CREAS+LY MANIC & P>ANOID4 ,?IS P>ANOIA F\ND EXPRESSION 9 HIS DISCOV]Y ( ! ,HOLL[ ,E>? CULT1 :I* HOLDS ?AT ! 9SIDE ( ! E>? IS 9HABIT$ BY SOME SORT ( MY/]I\S BE+S & ?AT 7AS 9 ! RA!R SIMIL> FLY+ SAUC] CULTS7 ! P[]S ?AT BE >E KEEP+ ?IS 9=MATION SECRET FROM ! G5]AL PUBLIC4 ,AT ANY M5TION1 SAY1 ( ! WORD 0UND]GR\ND0 ,SAM W\LD GIVE A SLY1 KN[+ NOD2 9 FACT1 JU/ AB\T ANY?+1 :E!R A L9E 9 A POEM OR A PHRASE 9 AN ADV]TIS+ J+LE1 C\LD1 ) APPROPRIATE WORDPLAY1 BE 9T]PRET$ AS A H9T ?AT ! AU?OR WAS AMONG ?OSE 9 ! KN[ AB\T ! ,HOLL[ ,E>?4 

,ONE ( ! MO/ PA9FUL EXP]I5CES ( MY LIFE WAS SEE+ MY BE/ FRI5D SL[LY BECOME MORE & MORE 9SANE )\T ANY ( MY ATTEMPTS TO REASON ) HIM HAV+ ! SLI<TE/ EFFECT4 ,ONE TIME HE SLIPP$ \T ( ! H\SE NAK$ 9 ! MIDDLE ( ! NI<T1 & HIS WIFE & ,I RAN >\ND ! NEI<BORHOOD = H\RS BE=E WE F\ND HIM4 ,ANO!R TIME HE WAS F\ND HIT*+ D[N ! HI<WAY SO \T ( IT ?AT ! ,HI<WAY ,PATROL TOOK HIM TO ! /ATE M5TAL HOSPITAL AT ,NAPA4 ,EV5TUALLY HIS WIFE TOOK HIM BACK TO ,MISS\RI4 

,OV] ! NEXT C\PLE YE>S HIS CONDITION V>I$ CONSID]ABLY4 ,SOMETIMES HIS G5]AL EXUB]ANCE & GOOD HUMOR MADE PEOPLE ?9K ?AT P]HAPS HIS V]BAL RAMBL+S W]E NOT REALLY MEANT S]I\SLY1 BUT W]E JU/ PLAYFUL POETIC IMPROVIZATIONS4 ,AT O!R TIMES HE SLIPP$ 9TO SEV]E DEPRESSIONS & WAS HOSPITALIZ$4 ,:5 ,I LA/ SAW HIM1 HE WAS CALM BUT PRETTY WA/$ LOOK+ 7PROBABLY ON TRANQUILIZ]S72 HE DIDN'T SEEM LIKE ! ,SAM ,I HAD KN[N S9CE E>LIE/ *ILDHOOD4 ,A C\PLE WEEKS LAT] ,I GOT A CALL 9=M+ ME ?AT HE HAD HUNG HIMSELF4 ,HE HAD JU/ TURN$ #b#g4 

,REXRO? (T5 REM>K$ ?AT AN A/ONI%+LY HI< PROPORTION ( TW5TIE?-C5TURY ,AM]ICAN POETS HAVE COMMITT$ SUICIDE4 ,! PRESUMPTION IS ?AT !IR CREATIVE EF=TS L$ !M TO BECOME UNBE>ABLY S5SITIVE TO ! UGL9ESS ( ! SOCIETY1 AS WELL AS LAY+ !M OP5 TO EXTREMES ( FRU/RATION & DISILLUSIONM5T 9 !IR P]SONAL LIFE4 ,! FACT REMA9S ?AT ! ,RIMBAUDIAN NOTION ( SEEK+ VISIONS ?R\< ! 0SY/EMATIC D]ANGEM5T ( ALL ! S5SES0 HAS (T5 9SPIR$ BEHAVIOR ?AT IS SIMPLY FOOLI% & SELF-DE/RUCTIVE4 ,:ATEV] SOCIAL OR P]SONAL FACTORS MAY HAVE CONTRIBUT$ TO ,SAM'S 9SANITY1 ! IMM$IATE CAUSE WAS C]TA9LY ALL ! SPE$ HE WAS TAK+4 

,PSY*$ELICS MAY ALSO HAVE BE5 A FACTOR1 BUT ,I D\BT IF !Y W]E A SIGNIFICANT ONE4 ,DESPITE A FEW WIDELY PUBLICIZ$ & USUALLY EXAGG]AT$ 9/ANCES ( PEOPLE GO+ 9SANE DUR+ TRIPS1 MILLIONS ( PEOPLE TOOK PSY*$ELICS DUR+ ! SIXTIES )\T SUFF]+ ! SLI<TE/ H>M4 ,TO PUT ?+S 9TO P]SPECTIVE1 ! TOTAL NUMB] ( DEA?S ATTRIBUTABLE TO PSY*$ELICS DUR+ ! 5TIRE DECADE WAS F> SMALL] ?AN ?OSE DUE TO ALCOHOL OR TOBACCO ON ANY S+LE DAY4 ,9 SOME CASES PSY*$ELICS MAY HAVE BR\<T LAT5T M5TAL PROBLEMS 9TO ! OP51 BUT EV5 ?IS WAS PROBABLY MORE (T5 = ! BETT] ?AN = ! WORSE4 ,I SUSPECT ?AT F> MORE PEOPLE W]E SAV$ FROM GO+ 9SANE BY PSY*$ELICS1 9S(> AS ! EXP]I5CE LOOS5$ !M UP1 OP5$ !M UP TO WID] P]SPECTIVES1 MADE !M AW>E ( O!R POSSIBILITIES BESIDES BL9D ACCEPTANCE ( ! 9SANE VALUES ( ! CONV5TIONAL WORLD4 

,I C]TA9LY FEEL ?AT PSY*$ELICS W]E B5EFICIAL = ME4 ,I HAD ONE TRULY HELLI% TRIP 7ON ,D,M,T71 BUT JU/ AB\T ALL ! O!RS W]E WOND]FUL1 AMONG ! MO/ *]I%$ EXP]I5CES ( MY LIFE4 ,IF ,I /OPP$ TAK+ !M 9 #a#i#f#g1 IT WAS BECAUSE ,I CAME TO REALIZE ?AT !Y >E ]RATIC & ?AT ! SALUT>Y EFFECTS DON'T LA/4 ,!Y JU/ GIVE Y\ A GLIMPSE1 A H9T ( :AT'S !RE4 ,?IS IS :Y SO MANY ( US EV5TUALLY W5T ON TO ,ORI5TAL M$ITATIONAL PRACTICES1 9 ORD] TO EXPLORE SU* EXP]I5CES MORE SY/EMATICALLY & TRY TO LE>N H[ TO 9TEGRATE !M MORE 5DUR+LY 9TO \R EV]YDAY LIFE4 

,! PRACTICE ?AT CONT9U$ TO APPEAL TO ME WAS ,Z5 ,BUDDHISM4 ,I HAD ALREADY DISCOV]$ ! ,SAN ,FRANCISCO ,Z5 ,C5T] & OCCASIONALLY W5T OV] !RE TO DO ZAZ5 OR LI/5 TO TALKS BY ! G5IAL LITTLE ,Z5 MA/]1 ,%UNRYU ,SUZUKI4 ,:5 A SMALL BRAN* C5T] OP5$ UP 9 ,B]KELEY 9 #a#i#f#g1 ,I />T$ GO+ A LITTLE MORE REGUL>LY4 ,BUT ,I DIDN'T KEEP IT UP -- P>TLY BECAUSE ,I HAD SOME RES]VATIONS AB\T ! TRADITIONAL RELIGI\S =MS1 BUT MO/LY BECAUSE IT REQUIR$ GETT+ UP AT F\R O'CLOCK 9 ! MORN+1 :I* WAS H>D TO FIT 9 ) ! LIFE/YLE ,I WAS LEAD+ AT ! TIME4 ,I WAS 9TO SO MANY DIFF]5T1 OV]LAPP+ TRIPS ?AT IT'S DIFFICULT TO N>RATE !M *RONOLOGICALLY4 

,ONE ( ! MO/ 5?USIA/IC ONES WAS FILM4 ,AT SOME PO9T 9 E>LY #aifh ! WOND] ( ! :OLE M$IUM SUDD5LY HIT ME & ,I W5T ?R\< A P]IOD ( TOTAL FASC9ATION ) IT4 ,OV] ! NEXT C\PLE YE>S ,I SAW CLOSE TO A ?\S& FILMS -- PRACTICALLY EV]Y ONE ( ANY 9T]E/ ?AT %[$ 9 ! ,BAY ,>EA1 9CLUD+ EI<T OR T5 A WEEK AT ! ,TELEGRAPH ,REP]TORY ,C9EMA 7,I CONV9C$ !M TO LET ME 9 FREE 9 EX*ANGE = DI/RIBUT+ !IR CAL5D>S1 & W\LD (T5 RETURN = SECOND OR ?IRD VIEW+S ( ?OSE ,I ESPECIALLY LIK$74 ,/AN ,BRAKHAGE'S EXP]IM5TAL FILMS 9SPIR$ ME TO PLAY >\ND ) AN #hMM CAM]A2 BUT MO/LY ,I WAS SIMPLY AN EC/ATIC SPECTATOR4 ,MY FAVORITES W]E ! E>LY ,EUROPEAN CLASSICS -- ,C>L ,DREY]1 ! ,G]MAN & ,RUSSIAN SIL5TS1 ! ,FR5* FILMS ( ! ?IRTIES 7,PAGNOL1 ,VIGO1 ,R5OIR1 ,C>NE7 -- ALONG ) A FEW PO/W> ,JAPANESE FILMS4 ,AP>T FROM ! E>LY COMICS 7,*APL91 ,KEATON1 ,FIELDS1 ! ,M>X ,BRO!RS1 ,LAUREL & ,H>DY71 :O MORE ?AN MADE UP = !IR CORN9ESS ) ! SUBLIME MOM5TS ( POETIC HIL>ITY !Y SOMETIMES A*IEV$1 ,I NEV] C>$ = MO/ ,AM]ICAN FILMS4 ,HOLLYWOOD HAS ALWAYS VULG>IZ$ EV]Y?+ IT T\*ES1 REG>DLESS ( ! QUALITY ( ! ACTORS & DIRECTORS OR ! LIT]>Y WORKS ON :I* ITS FILMS >E SUPPOS$LY BAS$2 BUT UNTIL ITS 9FLU5CE CAME TO DOM9ATE ! :OLE PLANET1 SOME ( ! =EIGN FILM 9DU/RIES ALL[$ AT LEA/ A FEW CREATIVE EF=TS TO SLIP ?R\<4 

,EV5TUALLY1 AFT] HAV+ SE5 MO/ ( ! CLASSICS1 AS WELL AS A PRETTY WIDE SAMPL+ ( MOD]N /YLES1 ,I GOT BURN$ \T4 ,I'VE SE5 V]Y FEW PO/-#a#i#g FILMS1 & ,I'M ALMO/ 9V>IABLY DISAPPO9T$ :5 ,I DO4 ,PRACTICALLY ALL ( !M1 9CLUD+ REPUT$LY SOPHI/ICAT$ MA/]PIECES1 >E ALL TO OBVI\SLY DESIGN$ = AUDI5CES ( EMOTIONALLY DI/URB$ ILLIT]ATES4 ,AB\T ! ONLY REC5T FILMMAK] ,I'VE F\ND ( SLI<TLY MORE ?AN R\T9E 9T]E/ IS ,ALA9 ,TANN]4 ,NO D\BT !RE >E A FEW O!R WORKS ( SOME M]IT \T !RE1 BUT Y\ HAVE TO WADE ?R\< TOO MU* G>BAGE TO F9D !M4 ,I'D RA!R READ A GOOD BOOK ANY DAY4 

,K5NE? ,REXRO? 

,! MO/ 9T]E/+ ONES ,I WAS READ+ AT ! TIME W]E BY ,REXRO? OR BY O!R AU?ORS HE HAD TURN$ ME ON TO4 ,I HAD LIK$ HIM V]Y MU* ON FIR/ READ+ HIM & !N MEET+ HIM2 BUT IT WAS ONLY GRADUALLY1 AS ,I MYSELF MATUR$ 7SOME:AT7 OV] ! NEXT FEW YE>S1 ?AT ,I REALLY CAME TO APPRECIATE HIM1 TO ! PO9T ?AT HE CAME TO BE MY DOM9ANT 9FLU5CE1 ECLIPS+ E>LI] H]O-M5TORS LIKE ,MILL]1 ,WATTS1 ,G9SB]G1 ,WEL%1 & F9ALLY EV5 ,BUB] & ,SNYD]4 

,AT ONCE MY/ICAL & RADICAL1 E>?Y & URBANE1 ,REXRO? HAD A BREAD? ( VISION ,I'VE NEV] SE5 9 ANYONE ELSE BE=E OR S9CE4 ,ORI5TAL PHILOSOPHY1 ,AM]9DIAN SONGS1 ,*9ESE OP]A1 M$IEVAL !OLOGY1 AVANT-G>DE >T1 CLASSICAL LANGUAGES1 UND]GR\ND SLANG1 TANTRIC YOGA1 UTOPIAN COMMUNITIES1 NATURAL HI/ORY1 JAZZ1 SCI5CE1 >*ITECTURE1 M\NTA9E]+ -- HE SEEM$ TO KN[ LOTS ( 9T]E/+ ?+S AB\T JU/ AB\T EV]Y?+ & H[ IT ALL FIT TOGE!R4 ,FOLL[+ UP HIS H9TS = FUR!R READ+ 7ABOVE ALL 9 ?OSE 9CR$IBLY PI?Y LITTLE ,CLASSICS ,REVISIT$ ESSAYS7 WAS A LIB]AL $UCATION 9 ITSELF4 ,BESIDES GIV+ ME ILLUM9AT+ NEW TAKES ON ,HOM]1 ,LAO ,TZE1 ,BLAKE1 ,BAUDELAIRE1 ,LAWR5CE & ,MILL]1 HE TURN$ ME ON TO A V>IETY ( O!R GEMS ,I MI<T O!RWISE NEV] HAVE DISCOV]$ -- ! MODE/1 M$ITATIVE J\RNAL ( ! ANTISLAV]Y ,QUAK] ,JOHN ,WOOLMAN2 ! IMMODE/ BUT 5GROSS+ AUTOBIOGRAPHY ( ,RE/IF DE LA ,BRETONNE 7A SORT ( ULTRAS5TIM5TAL EI<TE5?-C5TURY ,H5RY ,MILL]72 ! SUBTLE MAGNANIMITY ( ,=D ,MADOX ,=D'S ,P>ADE'S ,5D2 ! H>D-BOIL$ D[N-&-\T N>RATIVE ( ,B4 ,TRAV5'S ,! ,DEA? ,%IP2 ! DELI<TFUL ,F9NI% FOLK-EPIC1 ,! ,KALEVALA 7GET ! LIT]AL ,MAG\N TRANSLATION72 ,F9LEY ,PET] ,DUNNE'S 0,MR4 ,DOOLEY0 7A TURN-(-!-C5TURY ,*ICAGO ,IRI% B>T5D] :OSE MONOLOGUES >E AS WORLDLY-WISE AS ,M>K ,TWA91 & TO MY TA/E EV5 FUNNI]7444 

,I R]EAD TWO ( HIS ESSAYS SO (T5 ,I PRACTICALLY KNEW !M BY HE>T4 0,! ,HASIDISM ( ,M>T9 ,BUB]10 BY PRES5T+ A MY/ICISM :OSE ULTIMATE EXPRESSION IS 9 DIALOGUE & COMMUNION1 *ALL5G$ ?OSE C\NT]CULTURAL T5D5CIES ?AT SAW MY/ICISM PRIM>ILY 9 T]MS ( 9DIVIDUAL EXP]I5CE :ILE T5D+ TO PLAY D[N ! SOCIAL & E?ICAL ASPECTS ( LIFE4 0,! ,*9ESE ,CLASSIC ,NOVEL0 9TRODUC$ ME TO ,REXRO?'S NOTION ( MAGNANIMITY1 :I* ,I CONSID] ! C5TRAL !ME ( HIS WORK4 ,! NOTION GOES BACK TO ,>I/OTLE'S IDEAL ( ! 0GREAT-S\L$0 MAN 7! LIT]AL S5SE ( ! T]M71 BUT ,REXRO? 5RI*5S IT BY L9K+ IT ) ! TRADITIONAL ,*9ESE IDEAL ( ! 0HUMAN-HE>T$0 SAGE4 ,HIS CONTRA/+ ( MAGNANIMITY ) V>I\S =MS ( SELF-9DULG5CE WAS A REVELATION TO ME4 ,IT DEFLAT$ A :OLE RANGE ( SELF-CONSCI\SLY 0PR(\ND10 WE>+-!IR-S\L-ON-!IR-SLEEVE WRIT]S :O W]E FA%IONABLE AT ! TIME -- ,KI]KEGA>D1 ,DO/OYEVSKY1 ,NIETZS*E1 ,PR\/1 ,JOYCE1 ,P\ND1 ! SURREALI/S1 ! EXI/5TIALI/S1 ! ,BEATS444 ,! LI/ C\LD GO ON & ON3 ONCE Y\ GRASP ,REXRO?'S P]SPECTIVE IT'S H>D TO F9D ANY MOD]N WRIT] :OSE SELF-9DULG5CE DOESN'T /ICK \T LIKE A SORE ?UMB4 

,AS ALWAYS 9 ,REXRO?1 :AT MI<T SEEM TO BE A M]E ES!TIC DISCUSSION IS ACTUALLY A WAY ( TALK+ AB\T BASIC APPROA*ES TO LIFE4 ,?AT MAGNANIMITY_/SELF-9DULG5CE DI/9CTION BECAME ONE ( MY MA9 T\*/ONES FROM !N ON4 ,AN AUTOBIOGRAPH] CAN H>DLY CLAIM NOT TO BE SELF-9DULG5T2 BUT IF Y\ ?9K ,I'M SELF-9DULG5T N[1 IMAG9E :AT ,I W\LD HAVE BE5 )\T ,REXRO?'S TEMP]+ 9FLU5CE6 

,H[ ,I EVAD$ ! DRAFT 

,AFT] DROPP+ \T ( S*OOL & LOS+ MY /UD5T DEF]M5T1 ,I AVOID$ ! DRAFT = ! NEXT C\PLE YE>S ON ! BASIS ( A LETT] FROM ! PSY*OANALY/ MY P>5TS HAD S5T ME TO1 :I* /AT$ ?AT ,I W\LD NOT MAKE GOOD >MY MAT]IAL DUE TO MY EXTREME 0RES5TM5T ( AU?ORITY40 ,BY ! LATE SIXTIES1 H[EV]1 ! >MY WAS GETT+ DESP]ATE = MORE BODIES TO S5D TO ,VIETNAM & ?AT SORT ( EXCUSE NO LONG] CUT IT4 ,:5 ,I WAS CALL$ 9 TO ! ,OAKL& 9DUCTION C5T]1 ! EXAM9+ PSY*OLOGI/ SC>CELY GLANC$ AT ! LETT]1 !N TO MY HORROR *ECK$ ME (F AS FIT = MILIT>Y S]VICE4 

,I HAD NO 9T5TION ( GO+ 9TO ! >MY1 BUT ,I DIDN'T RELI% ! IDEA ( GO+ TO JAIL OR GO+ ?R\< ALL ! CONSCI5TI\S-OBJECTOR HASSLES4 ,PROBABLY ,I W\LD HAVE GONE TO ,CANADA IF NECESS>Y2 BUT ,I WAS REALLY ANNOY$ AT ! IDEA ( HAV+ TO DROP EV]Y?+ & LEAVE ! ,BAY ,>EA4 ,I V[$ NOT TO LEAVE ! BUILD+ BE=E ,I HAD SETTL$ ! MATT] ONCE & = ALL4 

,I CONSID]$ HURL+ A *AIR ?R\< A W9D[1 BUT CONCLUD$ ?AT ?AT MI<T BE A LITTLE TOO EXTREME 7,I DIDN'T WANT TO 5D UP 9 A /RAITJACKET74 ,9/EAD1 ,I DECID$ TO CONC5TRATE ON ! PSY*OLOGI/ :O HAD PASS$ ME4 ,GE>+ UP = ! MO/ CRUCIAL ACT+ ROLE ( MY LIFE1 ,I W5T BACK & B>G$ 9TO HIS (FICE1 :]E HE WAS 9T]VIEW+ ANO!R GUY1 & />T$ SCREAM+ AT HIM3 0,Y\ DUMB J]K Y\ ?9K Y\ UND]/& ME LI/5 :5 ,I GET 9 ! >MY JU/ WAIT TILL ,I GET A GUN 9 MY H& Y\ ?9K ,I WON'T %OOT ! FIR/ FUCK+ (FIC] :O GIVES ME AN ORD] HA HA & :5 ,I DO ,I'D LIKE TO SEE Y\R FACE :5 Y\R BOSSES ASK Y\ :Y Y\ PASS$ ME HA HA 4440 7ALL ?IS WAS ACC5TUAT$ ) 9FANTILE GRIMACES & TWIT*ES & %RIEKS1 SO ,I LOOK$ & S\ND$ LIKE A KID HAV+ A TANTRUM74 ,!N ,I SLAMM$ ! DOOR & SAT D[N \TSIDE HIS (FICE4 

,:5 HE CAME \T ,I SIL5TLY FOLL[$ HIM D[N ! HALL1 DET]M9$ TO /ICK ) HIM NO MATT] :AT4 ,HE W5T 9TO ANO!R ROOM & SOON EM]G$ ) AN (FIC]1 :O CAME OV] TO ME & SAID1 0,:AT'S ! IDEA ( ?REAT5+ ,DR4 ,SO-&-,SO80 ,I W5T (F ON ANO!R TIRADE4 ,! (FIC] TOLD ME TO COME 9TO HIS (FICE4 ,AFT] A FEW MORE M9UTES ( MY RANT+1 HE SAID ?AT HE WAS REJECT+ ME = ! >MY4 ,BUT HE C\LDN'T JU/ LET IT GO AT ?AT1 HE HAD TO SAVE FACE3 0,N[1 ?AT'S PROBABLY JU/ :AT Y\ WANT TO HE>4 ,BUT LET ME TELL Y\ ?IS4 ,I'VE SE5 A LOT ( GUYS 9 ?IS BUS9ESS4 ,SOME ( !M W]E CONSCI5TI\S OBJECTORS4 ,I DIDN'T AGREE ) !M1 BUT ,I C\LD RESPECT !M4 ,BUT Y\6 ,JUDG+ FROM Y\R DISGU/+ VIOL5T BEHAVIOR WE HAV5'T COME V]Y F> S9CE ! CAVE M56 ,Y\'RE NOT GOOD 5\< = ! >MY60 

,RESI/+ ! IMPULSE TO GR91 ,I JU/ SAT !RE GL[]+ AT HIM & GRIPP+ ! $GE ( ! DESK AS IF ,I MI<T GO 9TO A SPASM AT ANY MOM5T1 :ILE HE FILL$ \T & SIGN$ ! =M4 ,I TOOK IT )\T A WORD1 /OMP$ \T ! DOOR1 DELIV]$ ! =M TO ! APPROPRIATE DESK1 WALK$ \T ( ! BUILD+1 R\ND$ ! CORN] 444 & W5T SKIPP+ D[N ! /REET6 

,H[ ,I BECAME AN AN>*I/ 

,AL?\< ,I HAD %[$ UP AT A FEW CIVIL RI<TS & ANTIW> DEMON/RATIONS DUR+ MY FIR/ C\PLE YE>S 9 ,B]KELEY1 IT WASN'T UNTIL LATE #aifg ?AT ! 9T5SIFICATION ( ! ,VIETNAM W> L$ ME TO BECOME S]I\SLY 9VOLV$ 9 ,NEW ,LEFT POLITICS4 ,MY FIR/ /EP WAS JO9+ ! NEWLY =M$ ,PEACE & ,FRE$OM ,P>TY1 :I* T5TATIVELY PROPOS$ A ,M>T9 ,LU!R ,K+-,B5JAM9 ,SPOCK PRESID5TIAL TICKET = ! FOLL[+ YE>4 ,MO/ ( ! ,P,F,P'S HUNDR$ ?\S& ,CALI=NIA MEMB]S W]E PROBABLY NO MORE POLITICALLY KN[L$GEABLE ?AN ,I1 BUT HAD SIMPLY REGI/]$ 9 IT 9 ORD] TO MAKE SURE ?AT SOME ANTIW> *OICE WAS ON ! BALLET4 ,BUT ?\< ! ,P,F,P WAS PRIM>ILY AN ELECTORAL P>TY1 IT DID MAKE SOME EF=T TO GET PEOPLE TO P>TICIPATE BEYOND M]ELY VOT+4 ,I W5T TO SEV]AL NEI<BORHOOD MEET+S & ATT5D$ ALL ?REE DAYS ( ITS ,M>* #aifh CONV5TION4 

,!RE WAS A LOT ( GOOD WILL & 5?USIASM AMONG ! DELEGATES1 BUT IT WAS ALSO MY FIR/ EXP]I5CE ( WITNESS+ POLITICAL MANEUV]S FROM CLOSE UP4 ,TOTALLY OP5 & ECLECTIC1 ! ,P,F,P NATURALLY ATTRACT$ MO/ ( ! LEFTI/ ORGANIZATIONS1 EA* JOCKEY+ TO PROMOTE !IR [N L9ES & C&IDATES4 ,SOME ( ! POLITICOS SEEM$ RA!R OBNOXI\S1 BUT 9 G5]AL ,I ADMIR$ ?OSE :O HAD TAK5 P>T 9 CIVIL RI<TS /RUGGLES OR ! ,F,S,M1 & WAS QUITE WILL+ TO DEF] TO !IR MORE EXP]I5C$ & PRESUMABLY MORE KN[L$GEABLE VIEWS4 ,:ILE ,I MI<T CLAIM TO HAVE BE5 AN E>LY & FAIRLY 9DEP5D5T P>TICIPANT 9 ! C\NT]CULTURE1 9 ! POLITICAL MOVEM5T ,I WAS NO?+ BUT A BELAT$ RUN-(-!-MILL FOLL[]4 

,AS ,I BECAME MORE 0ACTIVE0 9 ! ,P,F,P 7?\< NEV] MORE ?AN 9 BANAL SUBORD9ATE CAPACITIES3 ATT5D+ RALLIES1 /UFF+ 5VELOPES1 H&+ \T LEAFLETS7 ,I WAS PROGRESSIVELY 0RADICALIZ$0 BY ! MORE EXP]I5C$ POLITICOS1 ESPECIALLY ! ,BLACK ,PAN!RS4 ,LOOK+ BACK1 IT'S EMB>RASS+ TO REALIZE H[ EASILY ,I WAS DUP$ BY SU* CRUDE MANIPULATION1 9 :I* A H&FUL ( 9DIVIDUALS APPO9T$ !MSELVES ! SOLE AU!NTIC REPRES5TATIVES ( 0! BLACK COMMUNITY10 !N CLAIM$ ! RI<T TO VETO P[]1 & 9 PRACTICE TO VIRTUAL DOM9ATION1 OV] ! ,P,F,P & ANY O!R GR\PS ) :I* !Y CONDESC5D$ TO =M 0COALITIONS40 ,BUT !Y W]E OBVI\SLY C\RAGE\S1 & UNLIKE ! BLACK SEP>ATI/ T5D5CIES !Y W]E AT LEA/ WILL+ TO WORK ) :ITES2 SO MO/ ( US NAIVELY SWALL[$ ! OLD CON3 0,!Y'RE BLACK1 & >E BE+ JAIL$1 BEAT5 & KILL$2 S9CE WE >E NONE ( ! ABOVE1 WE HAVE NO RI<T TO CRITICIZE !M40 ,PRACTICALLY NO ONE1 NOT EV5 SUPPOS$LY ANTIAU?ORIT>IAN GR\PS LIKE ! ,DIGG]S1 ! ,MO!RFUCK]S & ! ,YIPPIES1 RAIS$ ANY S]I\S OBJECTIONS TO ?IS RACI/ D\BLE /&>D1 :I* AMONG O!R ?+S AM\NT$ TO RELEGAT+ ALL O!R BLACKS TO ! *OICE ( SUPPORT+ !IR SELF-APPO9T$ 0SUPREME S]VANTS0 OR BE+ 9TIMIDAT$ 9TO SIL5CE4 

,MEAN:ILE ! HEAL?Y P>TICIPATORY-DEMOCRACY T5D5CIES ( ! E>LY ,NEW ,LEFT W]E BE+ SMO!R$ BY BR[BEAT+1 SPECTACUL>IZATION & IDEOLOGICAL DELIRIUM4 ,CALLS = T]RORISM & 0PICK+ UP ! GUN0 W]E E*O$ 9 MU* ( ! UND]GR\ND PRESS4 ,ACTIVI/S :O :O DISDA9$ 0!ORETICAL NITPICK+0 W]E CAU<T UNPREP>$ :5 ,S,D,S WAS TAK5 OV] BY AS99E SECTS DEBAT+ :I* COMB9ATION ( ,/AL9I/ REGIMES TO SUPPORT 7,*9A1 ,CUBA1 ,VIETNAM1 ,ALBANIA1 ,NOR? ,KOREA74 ,! VA/ MAJORITY ( US W]E C]TA9LY NOT ,/AL9I/S 7TO SPEAK = MYSELF1 EV5 AS A *ILD1 READ+ AB\T ! CRU%+ ( ! #aief ,HUNG>IAN REVOLUTION1 ,I HAD 5\< S5SE TO KN[ ?AT ,/AL9ISM WAS TOTAL BULL%IT72 BUT 9 \R IGNORANCE ( POLITICAL HI/ORY IT WAS EASY TO ID5TIFY ) M>TYRIZ$ H]OES LIKE ,*E ,GUEV>A OR ! ,VIETCONG AS LONG AS !Y W]E EXOTIC 5\< ?AT WE DIDN'T REALLY KN[ MU* AB\T !M4 ,FIXAT+ ON ! SPECTACLE ( ,?IRD ,WORLD /RUGGLES1 WE HAD LITTLE AW>5ESS ( ! REAL ISSUES AT PLAY 9 MOD]N SOCIETY4 ,ONE ( ! MO/ MILITANT ,B]KELEY CONFRONTATIONS DID 9DE$ BEG9 AS A 0DEMON/RATION ( SOLID>ITY0 ) ! ,MAY #aifh REVOLT 9 ,FRANCE1 BUT WE HAD NO CONCEPTION ( :AT ! LATT] WAS REALLY AB\T -- WE W]E UND] ! VAGUE IMPRESSION ?AT IT WAS SOME SORT ( 0/UD5T PROTE/ AGA9/ DE ,GAULLE0 ALONG ! N>R[ L9ES WE W]E FAMILI> )4 

,IT IS COMMON N[ADAYS TO BLAME ! COLLAPSE ( ! MOVEM5T ON ! ,F,B,I'S ,C,O,9,T,E,L,P,R,O OP]ATION1 :I* 9CLUD$ PLANT+ DIS9=MATION DESIGN$ TO S[ SUSPICION BETWE5 V>I\S RADICAL GR\PS1 USE ( PROVOCATEURS TO DISCR$IT !M1 & FRAMEUPS ( C]TA9 9DIVIDUALS4 ,! FACT REMA9S ?AT ! AU?ORIT>IAN /RUCTURE ( ! ,PAN!RS & O!R HI]>*ICAL GR\PS L5T ITSELF TO ?IS SORT ( OP]ATION4 ,= ! MO/ P>T ALL ! PROVOCATEURS HAD TO DO WAS 5C\RAGE ALREADY DELIRI\S IDEOLOGICAL T5D5CIES OR 9FLAME ALREADY EXI/+ P[] RIVALRIES4 

,= ME ! LA/ /RAW WAS ! ,PAN!RS' 0,UNIT$ ,FRONT ,AGA9/ ,FASCISM0 CONF]5CE 7,JULY #a#i#f#i74 ,I DUTIFULLY ATT5D$ ALL ?REE DAYS4 ,BUT ! CONF]5CE'S MILIT>I/IC OR*E/RATION2 ! FR5ZI$ ADULATION ( H]O-M>TYRS2 ! ,PAVLOVIAN *ANT+ ( MEAN-SPIRIT$ SLOGANS2 ! RANT+ AB\T 0CORRECT L9ES0 & 0CORRECT LEAD]%IP02 ! CYNICAL LIES & MANEUV]S ( TEMPOR>ILY ALLI$ BUREAUCRATIC GR\PS2 ! VIOL5T ?REATS AGA9/ RIVAL GR\PS :O HAD NOT ACCEPT$ ! CURR5T ,PAN!R L9E2 ! 0FRAT]NAL0 TELEGRAM FROM ! ,NOR? ,KOREAN ,POLITBURO2 ! FRAM$ PICTURE ( ,/AL9 ON ! ,PAN!RS' (FICE WALL -- ALL ?IS F9ALLY MADE ME SICK1 & L$ ME TO LOOK = A P]SPECTIVE ?AT WAS MORE 9 L9E ) MY [N FEEL+S4 

,I ?\<T ,I KNEW :]E TO LOOK4 ,ONE ( MY ,%IM] FRI5DS :O HAD MOV$ \T H]E WAS AN AN>*I/1 & HIS OCCASIONAL WRY COMM5TS ON ! MOVEM5T'S BUREAUCRATIC T5D5CIES HAD HELP$ SAVE ME FROM GETT+ TOO C>RI$ AWAY4 ,I W5T OV] TO HIS PLACE & BORR[$ A :OLE SACKFUL ( AN>*I/ LIT]ATURE -- CLASSIC WRIT+S BY ,BAKUN91 ,KROPOTK91 ,MALATE/A1 ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN1 ,ALEX&] ,B]KMAN1 PAMPHLETS ON ,KRON/ADT1 ! ,SPANI% REVOLUTION1 ,HUNG>Y #a#i#e#f1 ,FRANCE #a#i#f#h1 CURR5T J\RNALS SU* AS ,SOLID>ITY 7,LONDON71 ,AN>*Y 7,LONDON71 ,AN>*OS 7,NEW ,YORK71 ,BLACK & ,R$ 7,MI*IGAN74 

,IT WAS A REVELATION4 ,I HAD 9TUITIVELY SYMPA?IZ$ ) :AT LITTLE ,I KNEW AB\T AN>*ISM1 BUT LIKE MO/ PEOPLE ,I HAD ASSUM$ ?AT IT WAS NOT REALLY PRACTICABLE1 ?AT )\T SOME GOV]NM5T EV]Y?+ W\LD FALL AP>T 9TO *AOS4 ,! AN>*I/ TEXTS DEMOLI%$ ?IS MISCONCEPTION1 REVEAL+ ! CREATIVE POT5TIALS ( POPUL> SELF-ORGANIZATION & %[+ H[ SOCIETIES C\LD FUNCTION -- & 9 C]TA9 SITUATIONS OR 9 C]TA9 RESPECTS ALREADY HAD FUNCTION$ -- QUITE WELL )\T AU?ORIT>IAN /RUCTURES4 ,FROM ?IS P]SPECTIVE IT BECAME EASY TO SEE ?AT HI]>*ICAL =MS ( OPPOSITION T5D TO REPRODUCE ! DOM9ANT HI]>*Y 7! ,BOL%EVIK ,P>TY'S RAPID DEVOLUTION 9TO ,/AL9ISM BE+ ! MO/ OBVI\S EXAMPLE7 & ?AT RELIANCE ON ANY LEAD]S1 EV5 SUPPOS$LY RADICAL ONES1 T5DS TO RE9=CE PEOPLE'S PASSIVITY 9/EAD ( 5C\RAG+ !IR CREATIVITY & AUTONOMY4 

0,AN>*ISM0 TURN$ \T TO 5COMPASS A WIDE V>IETY ( TACTICS & T5D5CIES -- 9DIVIDUALI/1 SYNDICALI/1 COLLECTIVI/1 PACIFI/1 T]RORI/1 RE=MI/1 REVOLUTION>Y4 ,AB\T ! ONLY ?+ ON :I* MO/ AN>*I/S W]E 9 AGREEM5T WAS 9 OPPOS+ ! /ATE & 5C\RAG+ POPUL> 9ITIATIVE & CONTROL4 ,BUT ?IS WAS AT LEA/ A GOOD BEG9N+4 ,H]E WAS A P]SPECTIVE ,I C\LD :OLEHE>T$LY ESP\SE1 ?AT MADE S5SE ( ! CURR5T FAIL+S ( ! MOVEM5T & GAVE SOME IDEA ( ! RI<T DIRECTION TO MOVE 94 ,= ME IT TI$ 9 P]FECTLY ) ! ,REXRO?-,BUB] GOAL ( G5U9E 9T]P]SONAL COMMUNITY AS OPPOS$ TO IMP]SONAL COLLECTIVITIES4 ,SOME ( ,REXRO?'S REC5T >TICLES HAD PO9T$ \T ! ,KROPOTK9-ECOLOGY CONNECTION4 ,REXRO? & ,SNYD] HAD ALSO REF]R$ TO A 0,GREAT ,SUBCULTURE0 5COMPASS+ V>I\S NONAU?ORIT>IAN CURR5TS ?R\<\T HI/ORY1 & HAD EXPRESS$ ! HOPE ?AT ) ! CURR5T C\NT]CULTURE !SE T5D5CIES MI<T BE ON ! PO9T ( F9ALLY BECOM+ FULFILL$ 9 A LIB]AT$ GLOBAL COMMUNITY4 ,AN>*ISM SEEM$ TO BE ! POLITICAL COMPON5T ( SU* A MOVEM5T4 

,RON ,R?B>T 7A CLOSE ,%IM] FRI5D :O HAD REC5TLY MOV$ TO ,B]KELEY7 SOON BECAME AN EQUALLY 5?USIA/IC CONV]T4 ,WE BEGAN LOOK+ AT ! MOVEM5T MORE CRITICALLY1 & />T$ TAK+ SOME MODE/ 9ITIATIVES ON \R [N -- TALK+ UP AN>*ISM AMONG \R FRI5DS1 ORD]+ AN>*I/ LIT]ATURE = LOCAL DI/RIBUTION1 C>RY+ BLACK FLAGS AT DEMON/RATIONS4 ,WE SOON DISCOV]$ SOME O!R LOCAL AN>*I/S1 ) :OM WE TOOK P>T 9 A DISCUSSION GR\P1 PLANN$ TO REPR9T C]TA9 AN>*I/ TEXTS1 & CONSID]$ ! POSSIBILITY ( OP5+ AN AN>*I/ BOOK/ORE 9 ,B]KELEY4 ,MY FIR/ EV] 0PUBLIC0 WRIT+ WAS A MIMEO LEAFLET 7A FEW DOZ5 COPIES CIRCULAT$ AMONG FRI5DS & ACQUA9TANCES7 9 :I* ,I TRI$ TO CONVEY ! AN>*I/ RELEVANCE ( ,REXRO? & ,SNYD]4 

,P>T #b 7#a#i#f#i-#a#i#g#g7 

,H[ ,I BECAME A SITUATIONI/ 

,9 \R READ+ ( REC5T AN>*I/ LIT]ATURE ,RON & ,I CAME UPON SEV]AL M5TIONS ( ! ,SITUATIONI/ ,9T]NATIONAL 7,S,I71 A SMALL BUT NOTORI\S GR\P ?AT HAD PLAY$ A KEY ROLE 9 CATALYZ+ ! ,MAY #aifh REVOLT 9 ,FRANCE4 ,I VAGUELY REMEMB]$ HAV+ SE5 SOME SITUATIONI/ TEXTS A YE> OR SO BE=E1 BUT AT ! TIME ,I HAD PUT !M BACK ON ! %ELF AFT] A BRIEF GLANCE HAD GIV5 ME ! IMPRESSION ?AT ?IS WAS JU/ ONE MORE V>IANT ( ! ,EUROPEAN IDEOLOGICAL SY/EMS 7,M>XISM1 SURREALISM1 EXI/5TIALISM1 ETC47 ?AT SEEM$ SO OLD HAT AFT] PSY*$ELICS4 ,9 ,DECEMB] #aifi WE AGA9 CAME ACROSS SOME SITUATIONI/ PAMPHLETS 9 A LOCAL BOOK/ORE1 & ?IS TIME ( C\RSE WE DID READ !M4 

,WE W]E IMM$IATELY /RUCK BY H[ DIFF]5T !Y W]E FROM ! SIMPLI/IC PROPAG&I/IC /YLE ( MO/ AN>*I/ WRIT+S4 ,! SITUATIONI/ /YLE SEEM$ RA!R /RANGE & TORTU\S1 BUT IT WAS EXTREMELY PROVOCATIVE1 CLE>LY AIM$ MORE AT UND]M9+ PEOPLE'S HABITS & ILLUSIONS ?AN AT M]ELY CONV]T+ !M TO SOME VAGUE & MORE OR LESS PASSIVE 0LIB]T>IAN P]SPECTIVE40 ,AT FIR/ WE W]E BEWILD]$1 BUT AS WE R]EAD & DISCUSS$ ! TEXTS WE GRADUALLY BEGAN TO SEE H[ IT ALL FIT TOGE!R4 ,! SITUATIONI/S SEEM$ TO BE ! MISS+ L9K BETWE5 DIFF]5T ASPECTS ( REVOLT4 ,/RIV+ = A MORE RADICAL SOCIAL REVOLUTION ?AN WAS DREAM$ ( BY MO/ LEFTI/S1 !Y SIMULTANE\SLY ATTACK$ ! ABSURDITIES ( MOD]N CULTURE & ! BOR$OM ( EV]YDAY LIFE 7PICK+ UP :]E ! DADAI/S & SURREALI/S HAD LEFT (F74 ,TOTAL ICONOCLA/S1 !Y REJECT$ ALL IDEOLOGIES -- 9CLUD+ ,M>XISM1 AN>*ISM1 & EV5 0SITUATIONISM0 -- & SIMPLY ADOPT$ OR ADAPT$ :ATEV] 9SI<TS !Y F\ND P]T95T4 ,:ILE C>RY+ ON ! TRADITIONAL AN>*I/ OPPOSITION TO ! /ATE1 !Y HAD DEVELOP$ A MORE COMPREH5SIVE ANALYSIS ( MOD]N SOCIETY1 A MORE RIGOR\SLY ANTIHI]>*ICAL ORGANIZATIONAL PRACTICE1 & A MORE CONSI/5T ATTACK ON ! SY/EM'S CONDITION+ ( PEOPLE 9TO PASSIVE FOLL[]S & SPECTATORS4 7,!IR NAME CAME FROM !IR ORIG9AL AIM ( CREAT+ OP5-5D$1 P>TICIPATORY 0SITUATIONS0 AS OPPOS$ TO FIX$ WORKS ( >T47 ,LA/ BUT NOT LEA/1 !Y EMPHATICALLY REJECT$ ! 0POLITICS ( GUILT10 ! :OLE IDEA ( BAS+ REVOLUTION ON SELF-SACRIFICE1 SELF-FLAGELLATION & M>TYR WOR%IP4 

,A C\PLE MON?S LAT] ,RON & ,I CAME ACROSS SOME SITUATIONI/-/YLE LEAFLETS BY A LOCAL GR\P ) ! 9TRIGU+ NAME ,C\NCIL = ! ,]UPTION ( ! ,M>VEL\S4 ,WE WROTE TO !M PROPOS+ A MEET+4 ,!Y ACCEPT$1 & ! NEXT DAY WE MET TWO ( !M4 ,!Y ANSW]$ \R QUE/IONS BRIEFLY BUT LUCIDLY1 MADE %>P CRITICISMS ( MO/ ( \R VAGUE PROJECTS1 & DISMISS$ \R AN>*ISM AS JU/ ANO!R IDEOLOGY :I* W\LD 9HIBIT US FROM DO+ ANY?+ SIGNIFICANT4 ,QUICK TO EXPRESS !IR CONTEMPT = JU/ AB\T EV]Y?+ ?AT PASS$ AS RADICAL1 !Y CLE>LY KNEW :AT !Y W]E TALK+ AB\T & MEANT EXACTLY :AT !Y SAID4 ,YET IT WAS OBVI\S ?AT DESPITE !IR S]I\SNESS !Y W]E HAV+ A LOT ( FUN4 ,!IR [N AGITATIONAL PRACTICE1 CONSI/+ PRIM>ILY ( CRITICAL 9T]V5TIONS 9 V>I\S SITUATIONS1 SEEM$ TO COMB9E C>EFUL CALCULATION ) A DELI<TFUL S5SE ( MIS*IEV\SNESS4 ,HAV+ MADE IT QUITE CLE> ?AT !Y DID NOT 9T5D TO WA/E !IR TIME ) ANY ADDITIONAL EF=TS TO CONV9CE US1 !Y LEFT4 

,WE W]E /UNN$1 BUT ALSO >\S$4 ,EV5 IF WE W]E NOT SURE WE AGRE$ ) !M ON SOME PO9TS1 !IR AUTONOMY WAS A PRACTICAL *ALL5GE4 ,IF !Y C\LD PUT \T LEAFLETS EXPRESS+ !IR [N VIEWS1 :Y C\LDN'T WE8 

,WE W5T BACK TO ,RON'S PLACE1 TURN$ ON1 & EA* WROTE ONE4 ,M9E WAS A COLLAGE ( AN>*I/ & SITUATIONI/ SLOGANS FOLL[$ BY A LI/ ( RECOMM5D$ BOOKS2 HIS WAS A SATIRE ( ! WAY REVOLUTION WAS BE+ TURN$ 9TO A TRITE SPECTACLE4 ,WE MIMEO$ #ae COPIES ( EA* & H&$ !M \T ON ,TELEGRAPH ,AV5UE NE> ! ,UNIV]SITY4 ,AB/RACT ?\< ?IS ACTION WAS1 JU/ CREAT+ SOME?+ & GETT+ IT \T !RE WAS AN EXCIT+ BREAK?R\<4 

,OV] ! NEXT C\PLE MON?S WE C>RI$ \T SEV]AL O!R LEAFLET EXP]IM5TS4 ,I WROTE ONE ON ! !ME ?AT PEOPLE %\LD NEV] REL9QUI% !IR P[] TO LEAD]S1 :I* ,I DI/RIBUT$ AT ! APROPOS FILM ,VIVA ,ZAPATA1 & PUT TOGE!R A COMIC ON ! M9DLESS1 RITUALI/IC NATURE ( MILITANT /REET FI<T+ 9 ,B]KELEY4 ,RON WROTE A REVIEW ( ,BUB]'S ,PA?S 9 ,UTOPIA & A CRITIQUE ( AN 9EPT CLASSROOM DISRUPTION C>RI$ \T BY SOME ( \R AN>*I/ ACQUA9TANCES4 ,!SE 9T]V5TIONS W]E ALL PRETTY RUDIM5T>Y1 BUT BY NOT+ ! V>I\S REACTIONS !Y PROVOK$ WE GRADUALLY GOT A BETT] FEEL = CONFRONT+ ISSUES PUBLICLY4 ,!RE WAS A PROGRESSION T[>D GREAT] 9CISIV5ESS & CRITICALITY4 

,DUR+ ?IS SAME P]IOD WE ATTEMPT$ TO F9D SOME VIABLE COMPROMISE BETWE5 \R HANGLOOSE C\NT]CULTURAL MILIEU & ! RIGOR\S EXTREMISM ( ! SITUATIONI/S 7AT LEA/ AS WE SOME:AT CONFUS$LY UND]/OOD IT74 ,WE HAD NUM]\S DISCUSSIONS ) FRI5DS AIM$ AT 9CIT+ !M TO SOME SORT ( RADICAL EXP]IM5TATION1 BUT ?\< SOME ( !M W]E VAGUELY 9TRIGU$ BY \R 0NEW TRIP10 VIRTUALLY NONE ( !M RESPOND$ ) ANY 9ITIATIVE4 ,IF NO?+ ELSE1 !SE CONFRONTATIONS AT LEA/ S]V$ AS GOOD SELF-CL>IFICATIONS4 ,WE W]E BECOM+ SO 9VOLV$ 9 \R NEW V5TURES ?AT WE HAD LITTLE 9T]E/ 9 CONT9U+ RELATIONS ON ! OLD T]MS4 

,AS = ! AN>*I/S WE HAD BE5 HANG+ >\ND )1 JU/ AS !Y HAD MADE NO DEM&S ON US1 !Y EXPECT$ US TO MAKE NONE ON !M4 ,:5 WE (F]$ A FEW MILD CRITIQUES 7F> MILD] ?AN ! ,C,E,M HAD MADE ( US7 !Y REACT$ DEF5SIVELY4 ,WE BEGAN TO SEE ?AT DESPITE ITS P]T95T 9SI<TS1 AN>*ISM FUNCTION$ AS JU/ ONE MORE IDEOLOGY1 COMPLETE ) ITS [N SET ( FETI%IZ$ IDEAS & H]OES4 ,AFT] MON?S ( DISCUSSIONS & /UDY GR\PS1 ! GR\P+ HAD NOT PROV$ CAPABLE EV5 ( C>RY+ \T ANY ( ! REPR9T+ PROJECTS1 MU* LESS ( />T+ A BOOK/ORE4 ,WE CONCLUD$ ?AT IF WE WANT$ ANY?+ DONE WE'D BETT] DO IT \RSELVES2 & ?AT AUTONOM\S 9T]V5TIONS W]E MORE LIKELY TO /RIKE A *ORD ?AN DI/RIBUT+ A FEW MORE COPIES ( AN>*I/ CLASSICS4 

,WE R>ELY SAW ! ,C,E,M1 BUT W]E OCCASIONALLY 9=M$ ( SOME ( !IR DELI<TFULLY SC&AL\S 9T]V5TIONS1 :OSE COMB9ATION ( ! SITUATIONI/ TACTIC ( DET\RNEM5T ) A DA% ( SURREALI/ & ,WILLIAM ,BURR\<S 9FLU5CE WAS !ORIZ$ 9 !IR PAMPHLET ,ON ,WIELD+ ! ,SUBV]SIVE ,SCALPEL3 LAMPOON+ ! SPECTACUL> ROLE ( SACRIFICIAL MILITANTS ) A LEAFLET %[+ ! ,*ICAGO ,EI<T BE+ CRUCIFI$2 GO+ FROM DOOR TO DOOR 9 A PLA/IC SUBURB1 DRESS$ 9 SUIT & TIE1 DELIV]+ A TRACT EXHORT+ ! RECIPI5TS TO DROP EV]Y?+ & GET A LIFE2 DISRUPT+ A LOCAL ,GOD>D APPE>ANCE ) ROTT5 TOMATOES & BIL+UAL LEAFLETS2 H&+ \T PACKETS ( TRAD+ C>DS FEATUR+ /]EOTYPICAL ROLES 7H\SEWIFE1 SP>E*ANGE >TI/1 HIP M]*ANT1 ETC47 & 0,GREAT ,MOM5TS 9 ! ,VOID0 7TRAFFIC JAM1 SUP]M>KET %OPP+1 WAT*+ ,T,V74 

,WE ALSO MET TWO EMISS>IES ( ANO!R SITUATIONI/-9FLU5C$ GR\P FROM ,MASSA*USETTS1 ! ,C\NCIL = ,CONSCI\S ,EXI/5CE4 ,! ,C,C,E WAS LESS HUMOR\S & SURREALI/IC ?AN ! ,C,E,M1 BUT EQUALLY 9T5SE1 9TRANSIG5T & ICONOCLA/IC4 ,!IR EXAMPLE RE9=C$ ! ,C,E,M *ALL5GE TO CALL 9 QUE/ION EV]Y?+ \T ( \R PA/1 9CLUD+ ALL \R PREVI\S IDOLS4 

,ONE ( MY FEW REMA9+ H]OES WAS ,G>Y ,SNYD]4 ,I C\LD AGREE ?AT MO/ ( ! MOVEM5T & C\NT]CULTURE LEAD]S W]E HI]>*ICAL MANIPULATORS OR SPECTACUL> CONFUSIONI/S1 BUT ,SNYD] /ILL SEEM$ TO ME ALMO/ TOTALLY ADMIRABLE4 ,9 ANY CASE ,I HAD ! COMMON MISCONCEPTION ?AT 9 ORD] TO HAVE ! RI<T TO CRITICIZE SOMEONE ,I %\LD MYSELF BE BETT]1 & ,I SC>CELY ?\<T ,I C\LD COMP>E MYSELF ) ,SNYD]4 

,!N ONE DAY ,I LE>N$ ?AT HE WAS COM+ TO ,B]KELEY TO GIVE A READ+ ( HIS POETRY4 ,PREVI\SLY ?IS W\LD HAVE BE5 ONE ( ! HI< PO9TS ( MY YE>4 ,N[ ,I WAS UNC]TA94 ,DID ,I /ILL ?9K SU* AN EV5T WAS A GOOD ?+8 ,OR WAS IT 0SPECTACUL>0 -- DID IT CONTRIBUTE T[>D PEOPLE'S PASSIVITY1 COMPLAC5CY1 /> WOR%IP8 ,AFT] A LITTLE ?\<T ,I DECID$ ?AT ! MO/ APPROPRIATE WAY TO COME TO T]MS ) ?IS QUE/ION W\LD BE TO COMPOSE A LEAFLET TO DI/RIBUTE AT ! EV5T -- !REBY AT ! SAME TIME *ALL5G+ O!RS 9VOLV$4 ,! TIME LIMIT WAS ALSO A GOOD *ALL5GE3 ! READ+ WAS 9 ?REE DAYS4 

,9 MAK+ NOTES ,I />T$ \T ) RA!R MOD]ATE CRITICISM4 ,BUT ! MORE ,I CONSID]$ ! :OLE SITUATION1 ! MORE RADICALLY ,I BEGAN TO QUE/ION IT4 ,UP TILL ?IS TIME ,I HAD ACCEPT$ ,SNYD] AS A SPECTACUL> PACKAGE -- HIS LIFE & WRIT+S W]E 09SPIRATIONAL0 TO ME1 BUT ONLY 9 A VAGUE1 G5]AL SORT ( WAY4 ,N[ ,I REALIZ$ ?AT IF HE HAD SAID SOME?+ ,I ?\<T WAS USEFUL1 ! PO9T WAS TO USE IT4 ,IF HE SAID SOME?+ ,I FELT WAS MI/AK51 ,I %\LD PO9T IT \T4 ,IT SEEM$ P>TICUL>LY APPROPRIATE IF ,I C\LD TURN SOME ( HIS MO/ VALID REM>KS AGA9/ O!R ASPECTS ( HIS PRACTICE ?AT FELL %ORT4 

,EA* LITTLE /EP OP5$ ! WAY = MORE4 ,IT W5T AGA9/ ! GRA9 TO 0RU90 MY PRIZ$ PICTURE ( ,SNYD] & HIS FRI5DS BY CUTT+ IT \T & PA/+ IT ON ! LEAFLET2 BUT ONCE ,I HAD 0DET\RN$0 IT BY ADD+ ! COMIC BALLOONS1 MY FETI%ISM DISAPPE>$4 ,N[ IT WAS JU/ AN IMAGE1 9T]E/+ ONLY BECAUSE ,I C\LD USE IT TO UND]M9E O!R PEOPLE'S FETI%ISM4 ,I LAU<$ AT MYSELF AS ,I BROKE ?R\< MY [N PSY*OLOGICAL RESI/ANCES1 JU/ AS ,I LAU<$ TO ?9K H[ ?IS OR ?AT ASPECT ( ! LEAFLET W\LD MEET ) UNEASY PUZZLEM5T ON ! P>T ( ! PEOPLE :O RECEIV$ IT4 ,IF :AT ,I CAME UP ) SEEM$ BIZ>RE OR AWKW>D1 SO :AT8 ,I WAS CREAT+ MY [N G5RE1 & !RE W]E NO RULES BUT ! DESIRE TO GET TO ! ROOT ( ! SITUATION & EXPOSE IT 9 ! MO/ *ALL5G+ WAY POSSIBLE4 

,I F9I%$ ! LEAFLET .<,DO ,WE ,NE$ ,SNYD] = ,POET-,PRIE/8.> JU/ BE=E ! READ+ & HAD A HUNDR$ COPIES PR9T$4 ,AS ,I APPROA*$ ! AUDITORIUM1 N]V\SLY CLUT*+ !M UND] MY >M1 ,I BECAME HESITANT4 ,WASN'T ?IS TOO EXTREME8 ,H[ DID ,I D>E ATTACK ,G>Y ,SNYD] ?IS WAY8 ,HE HIMSELF WAS MORE OR LESS AN AN>*I/2 HE WASN'T TRY+ TO RECRUIT ANYONE TO ANY?+2 HE WASN'T EV5 *>G+ ANY MONEY4 ,HAD ,I GONE (F ! DEEP 5D8 ,I DECID$ TO SIT D[N & LI/5 TO ! BEG9N+ & SEE :AT IT FELT LIKE4 

,!RE WAS AN AUDI5CE ( SEV]AL HUNDR$ PEOPLE4 ,SNYD] />T$ (F BY SAY+ ?AT BE=E HE GOT UND] WAY ) ! POETRY HE'D LIKE TO 0SAY A FEW WORDS AB\T ! REVOLUTION40 ,HE MADE A FEW REM>KS ON ?AT TOPIC :I* W]E A BIT VAGUE1 BUT NOT BAD4 ,:5 HE F9I%$1 ! AUDI5CE APPLAUD$4 

,?AT DID IT4 ,NO?+ C\LD HAVE MADE ! SPECTACUL> NATURE ( ! :OLE OCCASION MORE CLE>4 ,! APPLAUSE WAS ! GL>+ SIGN ?AT HIS WORDS W\LD NOT BE TAK5 UP PRACTICALLY1 BUT W\LD M]ELY S]VE AS ONE MORE TIDBIT = PASSIVE TITILLATION4 7,PEOPLE W\LD PROBABLY GO HOME AFT] ! READ+ & TELL !IR FRI5DS1 0,HE NOT ONLY READ A LOT ( GREAT POEMS1 BUT HE EV5 SAID SOME F> \T /UFF AB\T REVOLUTION607 ,I WAS \TRAG$ AT ! SITUATION4 ,! MO/ 9SULT+ ASPECTS ( MY LEAFLET W]E ONLY TOO APPROPRIATE4 ,I TOOK !M \T1 ?REW !M 9TO ! CR[D & RAN AWAY4 ,I HAD NO FUR!R 9T]E/ 9 ANY?+ ,SNYD] MI<T SAY1 & ,I DID NOT WI% ! 9CISIV5ESS ( MY ACT TO BE DILUT$ BY A DEBATE ) ! AUDI5CE AS TO :AT ALT]NATIVES ,I HAD TO PROPOSE4 ,?AT WAS !IR PROBLEM4 

,PEOPLE SOMETIMES ASK IF SITUATIONI/S 0DO0 ANY?+ OR IF !Y 0JU/ WRITE40 ,I HAD HAD ?IS SAME MISCONCEPTION -- ,I HAD FELT ?AT ,I WASN'T SURE :AT TO DO1 BUT ?AT MEAN:ILE IT MI<T BE HELPFUL TO WRITE ! LEAFLET 9 ORD] TO CL>IFY MATT]S4 ,IT WAS ONLY AFT]W>DS ?AT ,I REALIZ$ ,I HAD DONE SOME?+4 ,IF A CRITIQUE REALLY /IRS EV5 A FEW PEOPLE TO /OP & ?9K1 TO SEE ?R\< SOME ILLUSION1 TO RECONSID] SOME PRACTICE1 P]HAPS EV5 PROVOKES !M TO NEW V5TURES ( !IR [N1 ?IS IS ALREADY A V]Y WOR?:ILE & PRACTICAL EFFECT -- H[ MANY 0ACTIONS0 DO AS MU*8 ,I SAW ?AT ! 9SI/5CE ON BE+ 0CON/RUCTIVE0 WAS JU/ A %UCK ?AT 9TIMIDAT$ PEOPLE FROM CONFRONT+ !IR [N CONDITION2 & ?AT A CRITIQUE 7AS OPPOS$ TO A SELF-RI<TE\S MORAL CONDEMNATION7 NE$ NOT IMPLY ONE'S [N SUP]IORITY4 ,IF WE HAD TO BE BETT] ?AN O!RS BE=E CRITICIZ+ !M1 ! 0BE/0 PEOPLE W\LD NEV] BE CRITICIZ$ AT ALL 7& HI]>*S T5D TO DEF9E ! ISSUES 9 SU* A WAY ?AT !Y REMA9 ON TOP74 ,IT DIDN'T MATT] H[ TAL5T$ OR WISE OR WELL-9T5TION$ ,SNYD] WAS4 ,IF ! PURPOSE ( POETRY IS TO 0*ANGE LIFE10 ,I FELT !RE WAS MORE POETRY 9 MY ACT ?AN 9 ANY POEM HE MI<T READ ?AT EV5+4 

,I WILL BE ! FIR/ TO ADMIT ?AT ?IS P>TICUL> 9T]V5TION WAS 9EPT & PROBABLY HAD NO NOTABLE EFFECT ON ANYONE BUT MYSELF4 ,?\< ! LEAFLET WAS CLE> 5\< 9 ATTACK+ PASSIVE CONSUM]%IP ( CULTURE1 ! SOCIAL P]SPECTIVE ON :I* ?IS ATTACK WAS BAS$ WAS ONLY VAGUELY IMPLI$4 7,! 0,ODE ON ! ,ABS5CE ( ,REAL ,POETRY0 ?AT ,I PUT \T A FEW MON?S LAT] WAS MORE EXPLICIT ON ?IS SCORE1 BUT ALSO MORE /ODGY47 

,! ACTION WAS ALSO A FLOP AS A DISRUPTION4 ,I HAD SE>*$ 9 VA9 = SOME BALCONY-TYPE PLACE FROM :I* ,I C\LD DROP ! LEAFLETS OV] ! :OLE AUDI5CE1 SO AS TO CREATE A 0CRITICAL MASS0 SITUATION 9 :I* EV]YONE W\LD BE 9TRIGU$ 9TO READ+ !M AT ! SAME TIME4 ,I C\LD HAVE A*IEV$ ! SAME RESULT A LITTLE LESS DRAMATICALLY BY B>G+ ?R\< ALL SECTIONS ( ! AUDI5CE4 ,N[ADAYS ,I W\LD ?9K NO?+ ( DO+ ?AT1 BUT BACK !N ,I WAS NEW AT ! GAME & DIDN'T HAVE ! N]VE4 ,AS A RESULT ( MY MORE TIMID DI/RIBUTION1 ONLY A FRACTION ( ! PEOPLE GOT ! LEAFLETS1 & 7AS ,I WAS LAT] TOLD BY SOME FRI5DS :O W]E !RE7 AFT] A FEW SECONDS' PAUSE ! READ+ CONT9U$1 ) MO/ ( ! RE/ ( ! AUDI5CE PROBABLY ASSUM+ ?AT IT WAS M]ELY SOME RUN-(-!-MILL LEAFLET AB\T ,BLACK ,/UDIES OR ! ,VIETNAM W>4 

,BUT :ATEV] EFFECT MY ACTION HAD ON ! AUDI5CE1 IT WAS V]Y ILLUM9AT+ = ME4 ,AS ,I RAN FROM ! AUDITORIUM ,I FELT LIKE A *ILD AGA91 AS EXCIT$ AS A GRADE S*OOL KID PLAY+ A PRANK4 ,MY REAL BREAK?R\< 9 GRASP+ ! SITUATIONI/ P]SPECTIVE DATES FROM ?AT MOM5T4 ,I HAD ALREADY LE>N$ A LOT FROM READ+ SITUATIONI/ TEXTS2 & FROM ! EXAMPLE ( ! ,C,E,M 7:O AFT] %>PLY CRITICIZ+ MY PREVI\S CONFUSIONS HAD WISELY LEFT ME ON MY [N TO WORK \T :AT ,I WAS GO+ TO DO NEXT72 & FROM MY EXP]IM5TS OV] ! PREVI\S MON?S4 ,BUT PULL+ ! RUG \T FROM UND] MY [N PASSIVITY & />-WOR%IP HAD ! MO/ LIB]AT+ EFFECT ( ALL4 ,! FACT ?AT ,I HAD PICK$ :AT WAS = ME JU/ AB\T ! H>DE/ CONCEIVABLE T>GET MADE ! EXP]I5CE ! BIGGE/ TURN+ PO9T ( MY LIFE4 

,! ,C,E,M MEMB]S W]E AW>E ( MY ADMIRATION = ,SNYD]4 ,:5 ,I LAT] %[$ !M ! LEAFLET1 ONE ( !M SAID1 0,HMM4 ,I SEE Y\'VE BE5 SUBV]T+ Y\RSELF AS WELL AS O!RS60 ,WE ALL GR9N$4 

#add 

,9 ,JUNE ! ,C,E,M BROKE UP4 ,! GR\P HAD CONTA9$ DIV]G5T T5D5CIES1 SOME ( ! MEMB]S W]E NOT AS AUTONOM\S OR COMMITT$ AS O!RS1 & SOME ( !IR IDEOLOGICAL CONTRADICTIONS C\LD NEV] 9 ANY CASE HAVE LA/$ V]Y LONG BE=E EXPLOD+4 ,AFT] ! BREAKUP TWO ( ! EX-MEMB]S1 ,ISAAC ,CRON9 & ,DAN ,HAMM]1 W5T TO ,P>IS & ,NEW ,YORK TO MEET MEMB]S ( ! ,S,I4 

,MEAN:ILE ,RON & ,I =M$ \R [N TWO-P]SON GR\P 7LAT] REF]R$ TO AS 0#a#d#d0 AFT] \R ,P4,O4 BOX NUMB]74 ,HE MOV$ 9 ) ME 9 ,JULY & = ! NEXT FEW MON?S WE LIV$ COMMUNALLY1 9 ACCORDANCE ) ! MI/AK5 IMPRESSION WE HAD D]IV$ FROM ! ,C,C,E & ,C,E,M ?AT ?IS WAS DE RIGUEUR = A SITUATIONI/-TYPE ORGANIZATION4 ,ACTUALLY1 AL?\< ! ,S,I WAS V]Y /RICT AB\T 9T]NAL GR\P DEMOCRACY & AVOIDANCE ( HI]>*Y1 ,S,I MEMB]%IP DID NOT IMPLY ANY SU* ECONOMIC POOL+ OR ANY SACRIFICE ( PRIVACY OR 9DEP5D5CE 9 O!R P]SONAL AFFAIRS4 ,WE SOON F\ND ?AT \R PURI/IC MISCONCEPTION WAS NOT V]Y WORKABLE1 ?\< ! EXP]I5CE ( LIV+ & WORK+ TOGE!R MORE CLOSELY ?AN USUAL WAS 9T]E/+ 9 SOME WAYS4 

,\R MY/IFICATION AB\T COH]5T ORGANIZATION WAS L9K$ ) A RA!R APOCALYPTIC NOTION ( COH]5T PRACTICE4 ,\R LITTLE ,9 ,?IS ,!AT] TEXT1 ) ITS EVOCATION ( ,VANEIGEM'S 0UNIT>Y TRIAD0 ( P>TICIPATION1 COMMUNICATION & REALIZATION 7SEE ,! ,REVOLUTION ( ,EV]YDAY ,LIFE1 *APT] #b#c71 H9TS AT \R /ATE ( M9D AT ! TIME4 ,WE KNEW ?AT ! SEP>ATIONS 9 \R LIVES C\LD NOT BE DEF9ITIVELY OV]COME %ORT ( A REVOLUTION1 BUT WE FELT WE C\LD MAKE A SIGNIFICANT BREAK?R\< BY ATTACK+ ! SEP>ATIONS 9 A UNIT>Y MANN]4 ,! ,SNYD] DISRUPTION HAD BE5 SU* A REVELATION TO ME ?AT ,I1 9 P>TICUL>1 T5D$ TO OV]EMPHASIZE SU* EXP]I5CE AS ! 0ONE ?+ NE$FUL10 IMAG9+ ?AT IF O!RS C\LD ONLY MAKE A SIMIL> QUALITATIVE LEAP !Y TOO W\LD DISCOV] ! :OLE NEW WORLD ( POSSIBILITIES ( ! 0REV]SAL ( P]SPECTIVE40 ,9 MY EAG]NESS TO 9CITE PEOPLE 9TO SU* V5TURES ,I (T5 BECAME TOO P$AGOGUI%1 A BAD HABIT ?AT HAS P]SI/$ TO ?IS DAY4 ,I /ILL ?9K ?AT PEOPLE NE$ TO TAKE AUTONOM\S 9ITIATIVES IF !Y >E EV] GO+ TO BREAK \T ( !IR CONDITION+1 BUT AS A PRACTICAL MATT] BE+ PREA*Y & PU%Y SELDOM LEADS !M TO DO SO4 ,AS ,I NOT$ ABOVE1 ONE ( ! M]ITS ( ! ,C,E,M WAS ?AT !Y DID NOT HANG OV] \R %\LD]S ) WISE ADVICE1 BUT SIMPLY MADE A FEW 9CISIVE CRITIQUES & !N LEFT US ON \R [N4 ,AFT] A NUMB] ( MO/LY FRUITLESS EF=TS TO >\SE \R FRI5DS1 ,RON & ,I LE>N$ TO DO LIKEWISE4 

,AT \R FIR/ 5C\NT] ) ! ,C,E,M DELEGATES !Y HAD BR\<T ALONG A CASSETTE RECORD] & TAP$ \R 5TIRE CONV]SATION4 ,?IS WAS P>TLY SO ?AT ! O!R MEMB]S ( !IR GR\P C\LD LI/5 TO IT LAT]1 BUT ALSO BECAUSE !Y F\ND IT USEFUL TO CON/ANTLY REVIEW !IR [N PRACTICE4 ,RON & ,I TRI$ RECORD+ SOME ( \R [N TALKS ) FRI5DS1 NOT+ :]E WE HAD TALK$ TOO MU*1 BECOME /ILT$1 RESPOND$ 9ADEQUATELY1 ETC4 ,! G5]AL IDEA WAS TO BECOME MORE CONSCI\S ( :ATEV] WE W]E DO+1 TO RECOGNIZE & BREAK UP UNDESIRABLE HABITS BY ALT]+ HABITUAL =MS4 ,O!R ME?ODS WE US$ 9CLUD$ DO+ 0CIRCLE TALKS0 7?REE OR MORE PEOPLE SIT 9 A CIRCLE & EA* P]SON TALKS ONLY 9 TURN72 PUTT+ MORE ?+S 9 WRIT+ 7*ALL5G+ \RSELVES TO BETT] ORGANIZE \R IDEAS72 & DET\RN+ COMICS 7TAK+ COMICS FROM :I* WE HAD :IT$ \T ! ORIG9AL WORDS & FILL+ 9 ! BALLOONS ) NEW ONES -- COMPOS+ A NEW /ORY ON A GIV5 !ME1 OR COPY+ 9 R&OMLY SELECT$ PASSAGES FROM SITUATIONI/ OR O!R WRIT+S74 ,9 \R MO/ EXT5SIVE V5TURE ( ?IS SORT WE SET ASIDE ONE 5TIRE DAY = AN 9T5SIVELY & >BITR>ILY S*$UL$ S]IES ( ACTIVITIES 7SUCCESSIVE BRIEF P]IODS ( READ+1 LETT] WRIT+1 BRA9/ORM+1 DRAW+1 COOK+1 EAT+1 AUTOMATIC WRIT+1 DANC+1 H\SE CLEAN+1 TRANSLAT+1 PLAY ACT+1 LEAFLET COMPOS+1 COMIC ALT]+1 G>D5+1 M$ITATION1 EX]CISE1 RE/1 DISCUSSION1 JAMM+71 !N SP5T ! NEXT WEEK WRIT+ UP A T5-PAGE ACC\NT ( ! EXP]I5CE1 :I* WE PR9T$ 9 A PRIVATE $ITION ( A DOZ5 COPIES TO GIVE TO A FEW FRI5DS4 

,LE/ ?IS ADD TO ! MANY MISCONCEPTIONS ( 0:AT SITUATIONI/S DO10 ,I %\LD /RESS ?AT ?IS WAS ONLY A ONE-TIME EXP]IM5T & ?AT ! V>I\S O!R ACTIVITIES M5TION$ H]E W]E NOT NECESS>ILY TYPICAL ( ! SITU MILIEU 9 G5]AL4.<#a.> ,:ILE ,S,I-9FLU5C$ GR\PS T5D$ TO BE FAIRLY EXP]IM5TAL 9 BO? EV]YDAY LIFE & POLITICAL AGITATION1 ! TYPES ( EXP]IM5TATION V>I$ CONSID]ABLY4 ,SOME ( \R V5TURES REFLECT$ \R ,AM]ICAN C\NT]CULTURAL BACKGR\ND MORE ?AN W\LD HAVE BE5 TYPICAL ( \R ,EUROPEAN C\NT]P>TS4 ,WE W]E1 ( C\RSE1 QUITE AW>E ( ! LIMITS ( SU* EXP]IM5TS4 ,BUT LIB]AT+ EV5 A LITTLE SPACE = EV5 A BRIEF P]IOD ( TIME GIVES Y\ A TA/E = MORE4 ,Y\ DEVELOP ! KNACK ( PLAY+ ) DIFF]5T POSSIBILITIES 9/EAD ( ASSUM+ ?AT ! /ATUS QUO IS 9EVITABLE1 & Y\ GET A MORE CONCRETE S5SE ( ! SOCIAL & PSY*OLOGICAL OB/ACLES ?AT /& 9 Y\R WAY4 ,! ADVANTAGE ( PRIVATE EXP]IM5TS IS ?AT )9 !IR LIMITS Y\ CAN TRY ANY?+ )\T ANY RISK BUT ! SALUT>Y ONE ( EMB>RASS+ Y\R EGO4 ,! SAME PR9CIPLES APPLY1 BUT OBVI\SLY ) MORE NE$ = CAUTION1 9 PUBLIC ACTIVITY4 

,\R PUBLIC V5TURES 9CLUD$ SEV]AL EXP]IM5TS ) DET\RNEM5T1 ! SITUATIONI/ TACTIC ( DIV]T+ CULTURAL FRAGM5TS TO NEW SUBV]SIVE USES4 ,ONE ( MY CREATIONS WAS A COMIC BALLOON PR9T$ ON /ICKUM PAP]1 DESIGN$ TO BE PA/$ OV] AD PO/]S SO ?AT ! USUAL /]EOTYPICALLY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN MODEL W\LD BE MAK+ A CRITIQUE ( ! MANIPULATIVE FUNCTION ( H] IMAGE3 0,HELLO1 M56 ,I'M A PICTURE ( A WOMAN ?AT DOESN'T EXI/4 ,BUT MY BODY CORRESPONDS TO A /]EOTYPE Y\ HAVE BE5 CONDITION$ TO DESIRE4 ,S9CE Y\R WIFE OR GIRLFRI5D IS UNLIKELY TO LOOK AS ,I DO1 Y\ >E NATURALLY FRU/RAT$4 ,! PEOPLE :O PUT ME UP H]E HAVE GOT Y\ JU/ :]E !Y WANT Y\ -- BY ! BALLS4 ,) Y\R 'MANHOOD' *ALL5G$1 Y\'RE PUTTY 9 !IR H&S4440 7,IF ,I MAY SAY SO MYSELF1 ,I ?9K ?IS WAY ( TURN+ SPECTACUL> MANIPULATION AGA9/ ITSELF IS MORE ILLUM9AT+ ?AN ! USUAL M]ELY REACTIVE COMPLA9TS SU* AS 0,?IS AD EXPLOITS WOM50 -- AS IF SU* ADS DIDN'T ALSO EXPLOIT & MANIPULATE M547 ,I ALSO TOOK ADVANTAGE ( ! OP5NESS ( AN OP5 POETRY READ+ TO READ A L5G?Y CRITIQUE ( ! LIMITS ( M]ELY LIT]>Y POETRY1 ,ODE ON ! ,ABS5CE ( ,REAL ,POETRY ,H]E ,?IS ,AFT]NOON1 TO ! PUZZLEM5T & DISGRUNTLEM5T ( ! O!R POETS PRES5T1 :O BY ! RULES ( ! GAME HAD TO SIT !RE & LI/5 POLITELY TO MY 0POEM0 )\T 9T]RUPT+4 

,RON WROTE A PAMPHLET ANALYZ+ A REC5T ,*ICANO RIOT 9 ,LOS ,ANGELES .<,RIOT & ,REPRES5TATION.>1 & ON A L>K SIGN$ IT 0BY ,H]B]T ,M>CUSE40 ,?IS RESULT$ 9 ! PAMPHLET'S GETT+ A WID] READ]%IP1 BO? AT FIR/1 :5 PEOPLE ASSUM$ ?AT ,M>CUSE WAS REALLY ! AU?OR1 !N AFT] ,M>CUSE HAD BE5 =C$ TO PUBLICLY DISAV[ IT1 :5 EV5 MORE PEOPLE BECAME 9TRIGU$ BY ALL ! SPECULATIONS AS TO :O C\LD HAVE P]PETRAT$ SU* A /RANGE PRANK4 ,TO ADD TO ! FUN WE WROTE A S]IES ( PSEUDONYM\S LETT]S TO ! $ITORS ( V>I\S LOCAL PAP]S D5\NC+1 & !REBY FUR!R PUBLICIZ+1 ! PAMPHLET4 7,?IS TACTIC ( PUTT+ \T FALSELY ATTRIBUT$ TEXTS1 :I* WE LAT] T]M$ 0C\NT]FEITISM10 SUBSEQU5TLY BECAME RA!R SLOPPILY US$ BY O!R GR\PS 9 WAYS ?AT (T5 PRODUC$ MORE CONFUSION ?AN CL>ITY4 ,WE \RSELVES SOON AB&ON$ IT1 & ?AT FALL ,ISAAC & ,I COLLABORAT$ ON A CRITIQUE ( ?OSE ASPECTS ( ! ,SUBV]SIVE ,SCALPEL PAMPHLET ?AT GAVE ! IMPRESSION ?AT DET\RNEM5T MEANT ?R[+ R&OM CONFUSION 9TO ! SPECTACLE47 

,TAK+ \R CUE FROM ! SITUATIONI/S1 WE ALSO BEGAN TO FILL 9 ! 5ORM\S GAPS 9 \R KN[L$GE ( PREVI\S RADICAL EF=TS1 EXPLOR+ ! HI/ORY ( PA/ REVOLTS & *ECK+ \T SEM9AL FIGURES LIKE ,HEGEL 7A H>D NUT TO CRACK1 BUT EV5 A LITTLE FAMILI>IZATION HELP$ US GET A BETT] FEEL = DIALECTICAL PROCESSES72 ,*>LES ,F\RI] 7:OSE DELI<TFUL ?\< SOME:AT LOONY UTOPIA IS BAS$ ON 5C\RAG+ ! 9T]PLAY1 RA!R ?AN ! REPRESSION1 ( ! V>IETY ( HUMAN PASSIONS72 ,WILHELM ,REI* 7HIS E>LY SOCIAL-PSY*OLOGICAL ANALYZES1 NOT HIS LAT] 0ORGONE0 !ORIES72 & SOME ( ! MORE RADICAL ,M>XI/ ?9K]S3 ,ROSA ,LUXEMBURG1 ,ANTON ,PANNEKOEK1 ,K>L ,KORS*1 E>LY ,LUKACS4 

,& ,M>X HIMSELF4 ,LIKE MO/ AN>*I/S1 WE KNEW VIRTUALLY NO?+ AB\T HIM EXCEPT = A FEW PLATITUDES AB\T HIS SUPPOS$ AU?ORIT>IANISM4 ,:5 WE DISCOV]$ ?AT MANY ( ! SITUATIONI/S' MO/ P]T95T 9SI<TS1 & EV5 SOME ( !IR MO/ /RIK+ PHRASES1 W]E D]IV$ FROM ,M>X1 WE />T$ REEXAM9+ HIM MORE C>EFULLY4 ,WE SOON REALIZ$ ?AT IT WAS SIMPLY IGNORANT TO UNCRITICALLY LUMP ,M>X ) ,BOL%EVISM1 MU* LESS ) ,/AL9ISM2 & ?AT1 :ILE !RE W]E UND\BT$LY SIGNIFICANT FLAWS 9 ,M>X'S P]SPECTIVE1 HIS 9SI<TS ON SO MANY ASPECTS ( CAPITALI/ SOCIETY >E SO P5ETRAT+ ?AT TRY+ TO DEVELOP A COH]5T SOCIAL ANALYSIS :ILE IGNOR+ HIM IS AB\T AS SILLY AS IT W\LD BE TO TRY TO DEVELOP A COH]5T !ORY ( BIOLOGY :ILE IGNOR+ ,D>W94.<#b.> 

,ABOVE ALL1 ( C\RSE1 WE READ EV]Y?+ ( ! ,S,I ?AT WE C\LD GET \R H&S ON4 ,UN=TUNATELY1 MO/ ( ! SITUATIONI/ TEXTS W]E AVAILABLE ONLY 9 ,FR5*4 ,AP>T FROM HALF A DOZ5 PAMPHLETS & A FEW LEAFLETS1 ! ONLY ?+S 9 ,5GLI% W]E A FEW R\< MANUSCRIPT TRANSLATIONS DONE BY PEOPLE :O 9 SOME CASES KNEW SC>CELY MORE ,FR5* ?AN WE DID4 ,I /ILL REMEMB] ! EXCITEM5T1 BUT ALSO ! FRU/RATION1 UPON FIR/ OBTA9+ A COPY ( ,VANEIGEM'S ,TREATISE ON ,LIV+ 7A4K4A4 ,! ,REVOLUTION ( ,EV]YDAY ,LIFE71 :I* WE /RUGGL$ TO READ 9 A DIM PHOTOCOPY ( A PHOTOCOPY ( A PHOTOCOPY ( A POOR MANUSCRIPT TRANSLATION4 ,:5 ,I REALIZ$ H[ MU* ,I WAS MISS+1 ,I />T$ BRU%+ UP MY RUDIM5T>Y & LONG-=GOTT5 COLLEGE ,FR5*4 ,I HAD ALWAYS IMAG9$ IT W\LD BE GREAT TO GET PR(ICI5T 5\< TO READ MY FAVORITE ,FR5* WRIT]S 9 ! ORIG9AL1 BUT SU* A GOAL WAS TOO VAGUE TO 9SPIRE ME TO DO ! NECESS>Y /UDY4 ,! SITUATIONI/S PROVID$ ! 9C5TIVE4 ,JU/ AB\T EV]YONE ELSE ,I KNEW :O BECAME S]I\SLY 9T]E/$ 9 !M EV5TUALLY PICK$ UP AT LEA/ 5\< ,FR5* TO PIECE \T ! MO/ IMPORTANT TEXTS4 ,:5 WE LAT] MET COMRADES FROM O!R C\NTRIES1 ,FR5* WAS AS LIKELY AS ,5GLI% TO BE \R COMMON LANGUAGE4 

,CONTRADICTION 

,?AT SUMM] ,RON & ,I MET ,MI*AEL ,LUCAS1 :O HAD MOV$ TO ! ,BAY ,>EA AFT] HAV+ COLLABORAT$ & BECOME DISSATISFI$ ) ,MURRAY ,BOOK*9'S ,AN>*OS GR\P 9 ,NEW ,YORK4 ,9 ,OCTOB] ,SYDNEY ,LEWIS 7ONE ( ! ,C,C,E EMISS>IES WE HAD MET ! PREC$+ SPR+7 >RIV$ 9 T[N1 HAV+ LEFT ! ,C,C,E 9 DISILLUSIONM5T ) SOME ( ITS MORE EXTRAVAGANT IDEOLOGICAL RIGIDITIES4 ,SOON AFT]W>DS ,DAN & ,ISAAC RETURN$ FROM ,P>IS & ,NEW ,YORK4 ,COMP>+ ! POSITIVE & NEGATIVE CONCLUSIONS FROM \R DIV]SE EXP]I5CES1 WE F\ND A SIGNIFICANT CONV]G5CE ( VIEWS4 

,TWO T5TATIVE GR\P PROJECTS DEVELOP$3 A /UDY GR\P DEVOT$ TO ,GUY ,DEBORD'S ,! ,SOCIETY ( ! ,SPECTACLE 7! O!R MA9 SITUATIONI/ BOOK1 :I* HAD JU/ BE5 TRANSLAT$ BY ,BLACK & ,R$7 & A CRITIQUE ( ! ,AM]ICAN RADICAL MOVEM5T & C\NT]CULTURE4 ,! /UDY GR\P DIDN'T LA/ V]Y LONG -- WE SOON F\ND ?AT WE GOT A BETT] GRASP ( ,DEBORD'S !SES BY ! EXP]I5CE ( US+ !M 79 GRAFFITI1 9 LEAFLETS & 9 \R MOVEM5T DRAFTS7 ?AN BY M]ELY DISCUSS+ !M 9 ! AB/RACT4 ,! PRELIM9>Y /AGES ( ! MOVEM5T CRITIQUE MEAN:ILE CONFIRM$ AN 9CREAS+ DEGREE ( ACCORD AMONG ! SIX ( US1 :ILE ELIM9AT+ ?REE OR F\R O!R PEOPLE :O HAD ATT5D$ ! /UDY GR\P BUT HAD NOT FOLL[$ UP ) ANY AUTONOM\S 9ITIATIVES4 ,9 ,DECEMB] ,DAN1 ,ISAAC1 ,MI*AEL1 ,RON & ,I =M$ ! GR\P ,CONTRADICTION4 ,BESIDES \R MOVEM5T CRITIQUE1 WE 5VISAG$ PUBLI%+ AN ,S,I-TYPE J\RNAL & C>RY+ \T V>I\S O!R CRITICAL AGITATIONS4 

,SYDNEY W\LD ALMO/ C]TA9LY HAVE BE5 ! SIX? MEMB] ( ! NEW GR\P IF HE HAD NOT RETURN$ TO ! ,EA/ ,COA/ JU/ BE=E ITS =MATION2 BUT ONCE \T ( T[N HE DRIFT$ 9TO SOME:AT DIFF]5T P]SPECTIVES1 & WE EV5TUALLY DISCONT9U$ ! RELATION4 ,MEAN:ILE WE HAD DISCOV]$ A NEW COMRADE 9 ,B]KELEY4 ,I WAS /ROLL+ >\ND ON CAMPUS ONE DAY & HAPP5$ TO OV]HE> TWO PEOPLE TALK+1 ONE ( :OM WAS MAK+ AN 9TELLIG5T CRITIQUE ( BUREAUCRATIC LEFTISM4 ,AFT] LI/5+ A MOM5T ,I 9T]RUPT$ TO SAY ?AT HE WAS ABSOLUTELY RI<T1 BUT ?AT HE WAS WA/+ HIS TIME S9CE ! P]SON HE WAS TALK+ TO WAS OBVI\SLY 9CAPABLE ( SEE+ HIS PO9TS4 ,HE GAVE ME A SURPRIS$ LOOK1 /OPP$ & ?\<T = A MOM5T1 REALIZ$ ,I WAS RI<T1 TOOK HIS LEAVE ( ! O!R P]SON1 & WE W5T (F TO TALK4 ,AT FIR/ ,I LET HIM DO MO/ ( ! TALK+1 M]ELY NODD+ & ASK+ A FEW QUE/IONS4 ,?\< HE HAD NEV] READ A WORD ( ! SITUATIONI/S1 HE HAD 9DEP5D5TLY >RIV$ AT VIRTUALLY ALL !IR POSITIONS4 ,!N ,I PULL$ SOME PAMPHLETS \T ( MY BAG & READ HIM A FEW PASSAGES ?AT EXPRESS$ ! SAME ?+S HE HAD BE5 SAY+4 ,Y\ C\LD HAVE PU%$ HIM OV] ) A FEA!R6 ,HE BEGAN WORK+ ) US ON \R MOVEM5T CRITIQUE & EV5TUALLY BECAME ! SIX? MEMB] ( ,CONTRADICTION4 ,I ALWAYS ?9K ( ?IS 5C\NT] ) ,JOHN ,ADAMS AS A /RIK+ CONFIRMATION ( ! SITUATIONI/S' CLAIM ?AT !Y W]E NOT PROPAGAT+ AN IDEOLOGY1 BUT SIMPLY EXPRESS+ ! REALITIES ?AT W]E ALREADY PRES5T4 

,! FIR/ ,CONTRADICTION PUBLICATION WAS MY PO/] ,BUREAUCRATIC ,COMIX1 9SPIR$ BY ! REC5T REVOLT 9 ,POL&4 ,N[ ?AT WE'VE BECOME US$ TO ! IDEA ( ! COLLAPSE ( ,/AL9ISM IT MAY BE NECESS>Y TO RECALL H[ MU* PEOPLE US$ TO TAKE ITS P]MAN5CE = GRANT$1 & JU/ H[ UNCOMPREH5D+ ! ,NEW ,LEFT WAS :5 IT CAME TO ! ISSUES RAIS$ BY SU* A REBELLION4 ,:ILE A FEW LEFTI/ GR\PS TRI$ TO DI/+UI% BETWE5 0REVISIONI/0 ,EA/ ,EUROPEAN REGIMES & 0REVOLUTION>Y0 ,?IRD ,WORLD ONES1 MO/ ( ! UND]GR\ND PAP]S1 UNABLE TO FIGURE \T H[ TO FIT SU* AN EV5T 9TO !IR ,GUEV>I/ FANTASY WORLD1 DID NOT EV5 M5TION ! UPRIS+4 ,?US ! PO/]'S DET\RNEM5T ( V>I\S MOVEM5T H]OES1 :I* MAY SEEM ONLY MILDLY AMUS+ TO PRES5T-DAY READ]S1 HAD A F> MORE TRAUMATIC EFFECT ON !IR HABITUAL ADMIR]S 7AS SOME ( !M LAT] ADMITT$ TO ME74 

,:ILE WE HAD BE5 EXP]IM5T+ ) ME?ODS 9SPIR$ BY ! ,S,I1 ! ,S,I ITSELF HAD BE5 GO+ ?R\< CRISES :I* W]E EV5TUALLY TO LEAD TO ITS DISSOLUTION4 

,9 ,M>* #aiga ,I W5T TO ,NEW ,YORK TO MEET ,JON ,HORELICK & ,TONY ,V]LAAN1 ! TWO REMA9+ MEMB]S ( ! ,AM]ICAN SECTION ( ! ,S,I1 & LE>N$ ?AT !Y HAD REC5TLY SPLIT FROM ! ,EUROPEANS4 ,!Y PRES5T$ ME ) A FAT /ACK ( CORRESPOND5CE & 9T]NAL DOCUM5TS1 MO/LY 9 ,FR5*1 :I* ,I BEGAN TO /RUGGLE ?R\< 9 A G5]ALLY UNSUCCESSFUL EF=T TO FIGURE \T :AT IT WAS ALL AB\T4 ,!N ,I FLEW TO ,P>IS4 

,! FIR/ PEOPLE ,I LOOK$ UP W]E ,ROG] ,GREGOIRE & ,L9DA ,LANPHE>1 EX-P>TICIPANTS 9 ,BLACK & ,R$4 ,WE HAD READ ) 9T]E/ ! ,B@&,R PUBLICATIONS 7ESPECIALLY ,GREGOIRE & ,P]LMAN'S EXCELL5T BOOKLET ON !IR ACTIVITIES DUR+ ,MAY #a#i#f#h71 :I* COMB9$ SOME SITUATIONI/ FEATURES ) A MORE TRADITIONAL AN>*O-,M>XI/ ORI5TATION2 BUT \R 9T]E/ HAD FAD$ AS ! GR\P BEGAN TO SETTLE 9TO AN ULTRALEFTI/ ECLECTICISM4 ,ROG] & ,L9DA'S REC5T OP5-LETT] CRITIQUE1 0,TO ! ,READ]S ( ,BLACK & ,R$10 DEMON/RAT$ ?AT !Y1 LIKE US1 W]E MOV+ 9 ! DIRECTION ( A MORE RIGOR\S1 SITUATIONI/-/YLE PRACTICE4 ,WE HIT IT (F F9E & ,I 5D$ UP /AY+ AT !IR AP>TM5T = MO/ ( MY TRIP4 

,I WASN'T ABLE TO SEE ! REMA9+ MEMB]S ( ! ,S,I1 BUT ,I DID MEET A NUMB] ( O!R PEOPLE 9 ! ,P>ISIAN SITU MILIEU1 9CLUD+ ,VANEIGEM & A C\PLE O!R EX-,S,I MEMB]S4 ,! DISCUSSIONS W]E A MIXTURE ( G5U9ELY 9T]E/+ EX*ANGE ( 9=MATION & IDEAS ) ! EXAGG]AT$ HOPES & ILLUSIONS ?AT SPRUNG UP 9 ! HEADY AFT]MA? ( ,MAY #a#i#f#h4 

,( C\RSE JU/ BE+ 9 ,P>IS WAS EXCIT+ -- TAK+ 9 ALL ! NEW SI<TS & S\NDS & SMELLS1 LOS+ MYSELF 9 ! LABYR9?9E /REET LAY\T1 W&]+ = H\RS ?R\< COBBLE/ONE ALLEYS AMONG C5TURIES-OLD BUILD+S & OBSCURE LITTLE %OPS2 /OPP+ AT \TDOOR CAFES & WAT*+ ALL ! PASS]SBY1 CAT*+ TANTALIZ+ FRAGM5TS ( ! /RANGE LANGUAGE ,I WAS JU/ BEG9N+ TO BE ABLE TO UND]/&2 %OPP+ 9 ! LITTLE OP5-AIR M>KETS ?AT US$ TO BE ON PRACTICALLY EV]Y /REET CORN]2 SAVOR+ ?OSE TA/Y MULTI-C\RSE ,FR5* MEALS & EXCELL5T W9ES & LIQUEURS ?AT WE W\LD L+] OV] DUR+ H\RS ( LIVELY CONV]SATION444 

,AFT] A MON? & A HALF 9 ,P>IS1 PLUS BRIEF VISITS TO ,LONDON & ,AM/]DAM1 ,I FLEW BACK TO ,NEW ,YORK & /AY$ A C\PLE WEEKS ) ,TONY ,V]LAAN4 ,HE & ,JON ,HORELICK HAD JU/ HAD A FALL+ \T1 & ,JON MORE OR LESS DISAPPE>$ UNTIL TWO YE>S LAT]1 :5 HE CAME \T ) HIS J\RNAL ,DIV]SION4 ,TONY & ,>NAUD ,*A/EL HAD MEAN:ILE =M$ ,CREATE ,SITUATIONS1 & W]E 9 ! MIDDLE ( TRANSLAT+ SOME ,S,I >TICLES1 :I* ,I HELP$ )4 ,!N ,I RETURN$ TO ,B]KELEY4 

,OV] ! NEXT FEW MON?S WE HAD QUITE A FEW VISITORS3 ,TONY & ,>NAUD 7AFT] A C\PLE WEEKS ( TUMULTU\S 9T]ACTION WE BROKE ) !M72 ,PO9T-,BLANK 7A GR\P ( TE5AG]S FROM ,SANTA ,CRUZ1 ) :OM WE ALSO EV5TUALLY BROKE AFT] WORK+ ) !M = SOME TIME72 ,ROG] & ,L9DA2 ONE OR TWO CONTACTS FROM ,5GL&2 & A Y\NG ,SPANI% C\PLE1 ,JAVI] & ,TITA4 ,TITA & ,I HIT IT (F RI<T AWAY1 AL?\< \R V]BAL COMMUNICATION WAS AT FIR/ LIMIT$ TO PIDG9 ,FR5*4 ,:5 ,JAVI] RETURN$ TO ,EUROPE A FEW WEEKS LAT]1 %E /AY$ ) ME4 

,DUR+ ALL ?IS TIME WE W]E CONT9U+ TO WORK ON ! MOVEM5T CRITIQUE .<,CRITIQUE ( ! ,NEW ,LEFT ,MOVEM5T & ,ON ! ,POV]TY ( ,HIP ,LIFE.> & O!R >TICLES = \R PROJECT$ J\RNAL4 ,UN=TUNATELY1 EXCEPT = A FEW 9CID5TAL LEAFLETS NONE ( ?IS WORK WAS DE/9$ TO MAT]IALIZE4 ,!RE W]E LOTS ( GOOD IDEAS 9 \R DRAFTS1 BUT ALSO MANY 9SUFFICI5CIES1 & WE PROV$ 9CAPABLE ( BR++ ! PROJECT TO COMPLETION4 ,P>TLY ?IS WAS BECAUSE WE UND]TOOK TOO MU*1 P>TLY IT WAS DUE TO POOR ORGANIZATION1 LEAD+ TO DUPLICATION ( EF=T4 ,ONE P]SON MI<T PUT 9 A LOT ( WORK ON A C]TA9 TOPIC1 !N F9D ?AT HIS DRAFT HAD TO BE DRA/ICALLY REORGANIZ$ TO FIT 9 ) *ANGES 9 O!R >TICLES2 :I* !MSELVES HAD BE5 ALT]$ BY ! NEXT MEET+1 NECESSITAT+ YET FUR!R *ANGES4 ,MEET+S BECAME A HEADA*E4 

7,9 RETROSPECT1 WE MI<T HAVE DONE BETT] TO DELEGATE ONE OR TWO PEOPLE TO DRAFT ! MOVEM5T PIECE AS A :OLE1 DRAW+ ON 9DIVIDUAL CONTRIBUTIONS BUT )\T WORRY+ AB\T /ICK+ TO !M 9 DETAIL4 ,IT MI<T ALSO HAVE BE5 A GOOD IDEA TO ISSUE %ORT PRELIM9>Y V]SIONS ( SOME ( ! *APT]S1 PRODUC$ & SIGN$ BY DIFF]5T MEMB]S1 BO? TO GET SOME?+ \T !RE = FE$BACK & TO DEVELOP MORE 9DIVIDUAL AUTONOMY47 

,MEAN:ILE ! V>I\S FRAGM5TS ( ! MOVEM5T W]E SELF-DE/RUCT+ FROM ! V]Y CONTRADICTIONS WE HAD BE5 ANALYZ+4 ,!RE WAS LESS & LESS TO ATTACK ?AT WAS NOT ALREADY WIDELY DISCR$IT$4 ,BY E>LY #aigb AB\T ALL ?AT MI<T HAVE REMA9$ = US WAS TO MAKE A MORE LUCID PO/MORTEM4 ,EV5 ?AT W\LD HAVE BE5 WOR? DO+ 7Y\ HAVE TO UND]/& :AT W5T WRONG IF Y\'RE EV] GO+ TO DO BETT]72 BUT BY ?IS TIME WE W]E SO SICK ( ! :OLE PROJECT ?AT WE NO LONG] HAD ! NECESS>Y 5?USIASM1 & HAD ALREADY />T$ DRIFT+ 9TO O!R PURSUITS4 ,MI*AEL & ,I HAD GOTT5 9TO CLASSICAL MUSIC & W]E SP5D+ A LOT ( \R TIME LI/5+ TO RECORDS & GO+ TO CONC]TS & OP]AS4 ,DAN & ,ISAAC W]E SP5D+ MO/ ( !IR TIME 9 ,SAN ,JOSE WORK+ ) ,JIMMY ,C>R 7,DAN'S EX-,BLACK ,PAN!R BRO!R-9-LAW7 ON HIS PRISON MEMOIRS4.<#c.> ,\R AB&ONM5T ( ! MOVEM5T CRITIQUE 9 ,APRIL #aigb M>K$ ! EFFECTIVE 5D ( ! GR\P1 ?\< WE DIDN'T =MALLY DISSOLVE IT TILL ,SEPTEMB]4 

,A G5]AL EXODUS FOLL[$4 ,JOHN & ,MI*AEL BO? MOV$ \T ( T[N4 ,DAN1 ,ISAAC & HIS GIRLFRI5D ,JEANNE W5T TO ,EUROPE1 :]E ,TITA HAD RETURN$ %ORTLY BE=E4 ,I /ILL SAW ,RON OCCASIONALLY1 BUT SC>CELY ANYONE ELSE4 ,RELATIONS ) MANY ( MY OLD] FRI5DS HAD COOL$ S9CE \R #aig CONFRONTATIONS1 & SOME ( ! ONES ,I WAS /ILL CLOSE TO HAD REC5TLY MOV$ BACK TO ! ,MIDWE/ AS ! C\NT]CULTURE BEGAN TO W9D D[N4 ,AB\T ! ONLY BRI<T SPOT DUR+ ! :OLE YE> WAS A REUNION ) A =M] GIRLFRI5D1 :O FLEW \T FROM ,NEW ,5GL& = A BRIEF VISIT2 UN=TUNATELY !RE W]E TOO MANY OB/ACLES TO CONT9U+ ! RELATION4 

,LONELY1 DEPRESS$ & FRU/RAT$ BY ! COITUS 9T]RUPTUS ( ,CONTRADICTION1 ,I DIDN'T HAVE ! SPIRIT = ANY?+ BUT READ+1 LI/5+ TO CLASSICAL MUSIC1 & TRY+ TO MA9TA9 MY SURVIVAL ) POK]4 

,! PRIVATE GAME ,I HAD BE5 PLAY+ 9 HAD DISB&$1 & ,I HAD %IFT$ TO PLAY+ L[BALL AT ! CAS9OS 9 NE>BY ,EM]YVILLE4 ,?IS WAS A T\<] PROPOSITION3 NOT ONLY WAS ! COMPETITION KE5]1 BUT Y\ ALSO HAD TO PAY AN H\RLY FEE TO ! H\SE4 ,I PLUGG$ AWAY PRACTICALLY FULL TIME = SEV]AL MON?S1 TO ! PO9T :]E ,I WAS BECOM+ ADDICT$4 ,CLU/]$ >\ND A BRI<TLY LIT GRE5 FELT TABLE1 9SULAT$ FROM ! \TSIDE WORLD1 Y\ BECOME JAD$4 ,! ?\<T ( GO+ BACK TO SOME HUMDRUM JOB SEEMS 9TOL]ABLE :5 Y\ REMEMB] ! NI<T Y\ WALK$ HOME ) SEV]AL HUNDR$ DOLL>S AFT] A FEW H\RS' PLAY4 7,Y\ T5D TO =GET ALL ! LOSSES1 OR ATTRIBUTE !M TO TEMPOR>Y BACK LUCK47 ,I HAD HOP$ ?AT ) EXP]I5CE ,I MI<T GRADUALLY IMPROVE & W9 5\< TO MOVE TO ! HI<] /AKES GAMES1 BUT MY RECORDS %[$ ?AT MY NET W9N+S W]E B>ELY HOLD+ /EADY AT >\ND #ge C5TS AN H\R4 ,9 ,NOVEMB] ,I F9ALLY GAVE IT UP4 

,?AT WAS A GOOD /EP1 BUT ,I WASN'T SURE :AT TO DO NEXT4 ,9SPIR$ BY READ+ ,MONTAIGNE1 ,I TRI$ WRIT+ SOME SELF-EXPLORATORY ESSAYS4 ,?IS MI<T NOT HAVE BE5 A BAD IDEA 9 O!R CIRCUM/ANCES 7WRIT+ ! PRES5T TEXT HAS 9CLUD$ A LOT ( ?IS TYPE ( SELF-EXPLORATION VIA CONFRONT+ DIV]SE TOPICS71 BUT AT ! TIME NO?+ CAME ( IT BECAUSE PRACTICALLY ANY TOPIC ,I />T$ TO WRITE AB\T SOON] OR LAT] L$ TO SOME CONNECTION ) ! ,CONTRADICTION EXP]I5CE1 & ,I HAD GOTT5 SO DEPRESS$ AB\T ! LATT] ?AT ,I C\LD H>DLY BE> TO ?9K AB\T IT4 ,YET ,I FELT EQUALLY UNCOM=TABLE AB\T EVAD+ ! ISSUE4 

,A FRE% />T 

,9 ,DECEMB] ,DAN1 ,ISAAC1 ,JEANNE & ,TITA ALL RETURN$ FROM ,EUROPE4 ,AS ,I REC\NT$ 9 MY ,CASE ,/UDY1 !IR RETURN HELP$ SPUR ME BACK TO LIFE4 ,I BEGAN EXP]IM5T+ ONCE AGA91 REASSESS$ MY RELATIONS 7:I* L$ TO SOME TRAUMATIC BREAKS71 & AFT] HAV+ REPRESS$ ! :OLE ,CONTRADICTION EXP]I5CE = MON?S1 F9ALLY GOT ! IDEA ( CONFRONT+ IT 9 A PAMPHLET4 ,AS ) MY E>LI] ,SNYD] LEAFLET1 ,I SAW ?IS AS A WAY TO BR+ ?+S TOGE!R3 = MY [N SAKE ,I WANT$ TO FIGURE \T :AT W5T WRONG1 BUT ,I WANT$ AT ! SAME TIME TO =CE O!RS TO FACE !SE ISSUES1 BO? ?OSE :O W]E DIRECTLY CONC]N$ & ?OSE :O MI<T BE 9VOLV$ 9 SIMIL> V5TURES 9 ! FUTURE4 

,LAT] ON ,I'LL SAY A LITTLE AB\T ! SITUATIONI/ PRACTICE ( BREAKS4 ,= ! MOM5T ,I WILL ONLY M5TION ?AT ,I N[ REGRET ! FIR/ LETT] QUOT$ 9 ! 0,CASE ,/UDY10 :I* WAS TO ,RON'S GIRLFRI5D ,C -- 4 ,! FAULTS ,I CRITICIZ$ H] = W]E NOT REALLY ANY?+ MORE ?AN ! SORT ( :ITE LIES & MILD SOCIAL HYPOCRISIES ( :I* PRACTICALLY EV]YONE IS GUILTY4 ,IT W\LD PROBABLY HAVE SUFFIC$1 & BE5 MU* EASI] ON EV]YBODY CONC]N$1 TO HAVE SIMPLY POLITELY DI/ANC$ MYSELF FROM H]1 AS PEOPLE USUALLY DO 9 SU* CASES & AS ,I MYSELF W\LD UND\BT$LY DO N[4 ,BUT AT ! TIME ,I WAS DESP]ATE TO BREAK \T ( ! RUT ,I HAD FALL5 9TO4 

,! LETT] C]TA9LY DID ACCOMPLI% ?IS1 = BO? GOOD & BAD4 ,ON ONE H&1 IT HELP$ CLE> ! WAY = ! P]SONAL REVIVAL ,I DESCRIB$2 ON ! O!R1 IT 5D$ MY RELATION NOT ONLY ) ,C -- BUT ALSO ) ,RON1 & ULTIMATELY ) ,JOHN & ,MI*AEL AS WELL4 ,I WAS DEEPLY SADD5$ BY ?IS1 BUT ,I HAD KN[N ! RISK ,I WAS TAK+4 ,IRONICALLY1 ,I RAN 9TO ,C -- A FEW YE>S LAT] & WE 0R5ORMALIZ$0 \R RELATION TO A LIMIT$ BUT AMICABLE LEVEL2 :]EAS ! E/RANGEM5T ) ,RON LA/$ TW5TY YE>S1 5D+ ONLY REC5TLY :5 7AS A RESULT ( RECONSID]+ ! 9CID5T 9 ! PROCESS ( WRIT+ ?IS AUTOBIOGRAPHY7 IT F9ALLY OCCURR$ TO ME TO WRITE HIM A LETT] ( APOLOGY4 

7,WE'VE BO? LO/ T\* ) ,MI*AEL ,LUCAS -- LA/ HE>D ( LIV+ 9 ,G]MANY -- & ,JOHN ,ADAMS4 ,DOES ANYONE KN[ :]E !Y >E87 

,! SECOND CRITICAL LETT] QUOT$ 9 ! 0,CASE ,/UDY0 7:I* ,I FEEL WAS MORE JU/IFI$2 = ONE ?+1 IT WASN'T EV5 A BREAK LETT]1 M]ELY A %>P *ALL5GE7 WAS DIRECT$ TO ONE ( ,DAN1 ,ISAAC & ,JEANNE'S FRI5DS1 ?US PUTT+ SOME ( MY O!R CLOSE RELATIONS AT RISK4 ,BUT AFT] SOME 9ITIAL UNC]TA9TY1 !Y SOON CAME >\ND TO AGREE+ ) IT4 ,! APPE>ANCE ( ,REM>KS ON ,CONTRADICTION & ! SURPRIS+ *ANGES ,I WAS MAK+ 9 MY LIFE BEGAN TO 9SPIRE !M TO SIMIL> V5TURES1 BR++ US CLOS] TOGE!R ?AN EV]4 

,! NEXT TWO OR ?REE MON?S SAW A FLURRY ( SELF-ANALYZES1 NEO-,REI*IAN EX]CISES1 RECORD+ ( DREAMS1 REASSESSM5TS ( \R PA/S1 & O!R *ALL5GES TO +RA9$ *>ACT] TRAITS & PETRIFI$ RELATIONS4 ,?IS WAS ALL TO ! GOOD2 BUT AFT] A :ILE1 BEG9N+ TO FEEL ?AT WE W]E GETT+ TOO N>R[LY 9T]NAL & PSY*OANALYTICAL1 ,I WROTE !M A LETT] /RESS+ ! SOCIAL CONTEXT ( \R EXP]IM5TS & ! NE$ TO CONT9UALLY SUP]S$E \R SITUATION SO AS TO AVOID FALL+ 9TO YET ANO!R RUT4 

,TO MY GREAT DELI<T !Y ANSW]$ MY *ALL5GE BY %IFT+ ! DIALOGUE TO ANO!R LEVEL4 ,?REE DAYS LAT] !Y TURN$ UP ) A DRAFT ( A L>GE PO/]3 

,W,E',R,E ,T,I,R,$ ,( ,P,L,A,Y,+ ,) ,\,R,S,E,L,V,E,S 

,TRULY ,VOLUPTU\S ,SPIRITS1  

444 ,WE >E ?REE PEOPLE MU* LIKE Y\RSELVES 444 ,WE HAD SOME COMMON P]SPECTIVES T[>D DAILY LIFE1 CONC]N+ :AT WE DID & DIDN'T WANT FROM SOCIETY AS IT IS N[ ORGANIZ$4 ,WE WORK$ AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE1 444 READ ALL ! BE/ BOOKS 7,CAPITAL1 ,! ,MALTESE ,FALCON1 ETC471 LI/5$ TO ! BE/ MUSIC1 ATE AT ! BE/ *EAP RE/AURANTS1 GOT DRUNK1 W5T = HIKES & TRIPS TO ! BEA* & ,P>IS444  

,WE W]E ANTI-SPECTATORS ( ! SPECTACLE ( DECOMPOSITION4 ,WE READ ! ,*RONICLE JU/ LIKE Y\ DO1 :I* IS TO SAY 0CRITICALLY10 :I* IS TO SAY ?AT ! V]Y *IC CYNICISM :I* APPE>$ TO ADD SPICE TO \R LIVES ACTUALLY HELP$ DRA9 ! LIFE \T ( US4 ,WE HAD PL5TY ( CLEV] REM>KS AB\T ! LACKS & EXCESSES ( ! B\RGEOIS WORLD1 BUT DESPITE ! FACT ?AT WE W]E REPROA*$ BY O!RS = BE+ TOO BOLD WE W]E ACTUALLY TOO TIMID444  

,! SKY DIDN'T OP5 UP ONE DAY4 ,BUT S9CE WE W]5'T QUITE DEAD YET1 5\< WAS SOON TOO MU*4 ,WE RECEIV$ A T]RIFIC KICK 9 ! ASS FROM ,JEAN-,PI]RE ,VOY]'S ,USE ( ,REI* & FROM \R FRI5D ,K5 ,KNABB'S USE ( ,VOY] 9 ,REM>KS ON ,CONTRADICTION & ,ITS ,FAILURE4 ,! WORK ( ,VOY] WAS ! FIR/ S9CE ,DEBORD ?AT CONCRETELY %$ LI<T ON \R ALI5ATION4 ,WE REALIZ$ ?AT WE W]E TO A GREAT EXT5T ACCOMPLICES 9 ! RUL+ SPECTACLE1 & ?AT *>ACT] IS ! =M ( ?IS COMPLICITY4 ,WE BEGAN ! /RATEGICALLY CRUCIAL TASK ( *>ACT] ASSASS9ATION -- AFT] SOME T5TATIVES :I* EI!R OV]-PSY*OLOGIZ$ ! ATTACK ON *>ACT] 7,ISAAC & ,JEANNE7 OR DEF5D$ AGA9/ ?IS ATTACK BY CRITICIZ+ PSY*OLOGY 7,DAN7 -- 9CLUD+ 9 ?AT ATTACK ?OSE TRAITS ( \R [N & ( EA* O!R :I* WE HAD PREVI\SLY ACCEPT$ AS 0P>T ( ! PACKAGE10 :I* WE'D PATRONIZ+LY ACCEPT$ AS IMMUTABLE1 :I* WE'D TIMIDLY CONSID]$ 0TOO P]SONAL0 TO CRITICIZE EXCEPT :5 !Y BECAME UNAVOIDABLY EXCESSIVE4 ,?IS NEGATIVE TASK BEGUN1 POSITIVITY WAS RELEAS$ FROM ! *A9S ( REPRESSION444  

,\R ATTACK ON ?IS ROT HAS MADE EXT]NAL RE/RA9TS -- ESPECIALLY \R 9ABILITY TO MEET Y\ -- ALL ! MORE UNBE>ABLE4 ,! 5RI*M5T ( \R RELATIONS ) EA* O!R HAS UND]SCOR$ ! POV]TY ( \R RELATIONS ) ! RE/ ( ! CITY444  

,WE EXPECT ?IS ADDRESS TO HELP US BREAK SOME ( ! B>RI]S TO MEET+ Y\444 ,BUT :E!R OR NOT Y\ EV5 SEE ?IS1 WE'RE COM+ AFT] Y\4  

,= DAYS )\T *A9S & NI<TS )\T >MOR1  

,DAN ,HAMM]1 ,JEANNE ,SMI?1 ,ISAAC ,CRON9 

,S9CE ! COMIC PO/] ANN\NC+ MY ,VOY] TRANSLATION WAS GO+ TO BE READY AT ! SAME TIME1 WE DECID$ TO DI/RIBUTE ! TWO PO/]S TOGE!R4 ,OV] ! NEXT FEW DAYS WE PA/$ UP SEV]AL HUNDR$ COPIES >\ND ! ,BAY ,>EA4 

,FRE% & AUDACI\S ?\< !IR PO/] WAS1 ! RESPONSES REVEAL$ ?AT IT WAS NOT AS CLE> AS IT MI<T HAVE BE54 ,! DOZ5S ( LETT]S !Y RECEIV$ C]TA9LY %[$ ?AT A SYMPA!TIC *ORD HAD BE5 /RUCK1 BUT MO/ ( ! RESPOND]S HAD ! IMPRESSION ?AT ?IS WAS SIMPLY A MATT] ( OV]COM+ 9DIVIDUAL ISOLATION BY MEET+ MORE PEOPLE1 ) LITTLE GRASP ( ! IMPLI$ CONNECTION TO SOCIAL CRITIQUE4 

,NEV]!LESS1 ! TWO PO/]S L$ US TO MEET A MU* L>G] V>IETY ( PEOPLE ?AN USUAL -- NOT ONLY ?OSE :O WROTE TO US1 BUT MANY O!RS WE RAN 9TO ON ! /REET OR 9 CAFES :O W]E 9TRIGU$ BY \R LIVELY & MIS*IEV\S MANN] & BY ! FACT ?AT WE W]E OBVI\SLY HAV+ SO MU* FUN4 ,MY NEW 0,SPECIAL ,9VE/IGATOR0 BUS9ESS C>D ADD$ TO ! MIXTURE ( AMUSEM5T & 9TRIGUE :5 PEOPLE GOT >\ND TO ! 9EVITABLE 0,JU/ :AT IS IT ?AT Y\ DO80 

  

,?AT FALL WE ALL RETURN$ TO ,EUROPE1 ?\< NOT ALL AT ! SAME TIMES & PLACES4 ,I WAS 9 ,P>IS = ?REE MON?S1 /AY+ AT ,ROG] & ,L9DA'S AGA9 & SP5D+ MO/ ( MY TIME AMONG !IR CIRCLE ( FRI5DS1 :I* N[ 9CLUD$ ,JEAN-,PI]RE ,VOY]4 ,I HAD BE5 9SPIR$ BY ! AMUS+LY AUDACI\S /YLE ( ,VOY]'S E>LY ACTIVITY 7! NAME 0,BUREAU ( ,PUBLIC ,SECRETS0 WAS P>TLY SUGGE/$ BY HIS NOTION ( PUBLICITE74 ,9 P]SON ,I F\ND HIM TO BE 9TELLECTUALLY PROVOCATIVE1 BUT HE HAD A T5D5CY TO GET C>RI$ AWAY ) HIS !ORETICAL 9SI<TS1 H>P+ ON !M TO ! PO9T ?AT !Y BECAME IDEOLOGICAL4 ,I WAS ALSO DISAPPO9T$ TO LE>N ?AT HE WAS NOT FOLL[+ UP SOME ( ! EMBRYONIC IDEAS ?AT HAD MO/ 9T]E/$ ME 9 HIS ,REI* TEXT4 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT IF ,I WANT$ TO SEE !SE IDEAS DEVELOP$1 ,I W\LD HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF -- :I* ,I LAT] DID TO A C]TA9 EXT5T 9 ,D\BLE-,REFLECTION & ! 0,CASE ,/UDY40 

,DUR+ MY FIR/ WEEKS 9 ,P>IS !RE WAS A LOT ( EXCIT$ DISCUSSION C5T]+ >\ND ,VOY]'S IDEAS & \R REC5T ,BAY ,>EA V5TURES4 ,I SOON CAME TO FEEL ?AT ?IS TALK WAS LEAD+ NO:]E & ?AT !RE REMA9$ A LOT ( RIGIDITIES & REPRESSIONS 9 \R RELATIONS1 & WROTE A LETT] TO ,VOY] & ! O!RS CRITICIZ+ BO? ! SC5E 9 G5]AL & EA* ( ! P>TICUL> 9DIVIDUALS 9VOLV$4 ,?IS /IRR$ UP A FLURRY ( SELF-QUE/ION+ = A FEW DAYS1 BUT ULTIMATELY ?+S REV]T$ TO H[ !Y W]E BE=E4 ,FROM ?IS PO9T ON MY RELATIONS ) ALL ( !M COOL$4 

,P>T ( MY IMPATI5CE ) !M WAS DUE TO ! CONTRA/ ) ,DANIEL ,D5EV]T1 :OM ,I MET >\ND ?IS SAME TIME4 ,HE HAD DISCOV]$ A COPY ( ,REM>KS ON ,CONTRADICTION AT A ,P>IS /ORE & DECID$ TO TRANSLATE IT2 !N HE HAPP5$ TO HE> ?R\< ! GRAPEV9E ?AT ,I WAS 9 T[N & HUNT$ ME UP4 ,IT TURN$ \T ?AT HE1 9 TURN1 WAS ! AU?OR ( A E>LI] PAMPHLET ?AT ,I HAD GREATLY APPRECIAT$ 7,P\R L'9TELLIG5CE DE QUELQUES ASPECTS DU MOM5T74 ,?IS 9DEP5D5T ACCORD MADE = AN EXCIT+ 5C\NT]4 ,I SP5T MO/ ( ! RE/ ( MY /AY SEE+ HIM & ! O!R MEMB]S ( HIS REC5TLY =M$ GR\P1 ! ,C5T] DE ,RE*]*E SUR LA ,QUE/ION ,SOCIALE 7,C,R,Q,S73 HIS WIFE ,FRANCOISE ,D5EV]T 7PSEUDONYM3 ,JEANNE ,*>LES71 ,NAD9E ,BLO* & ,JOEL ,CORNUAULT4 

,! 0,NOTICE0 GR\P 

,:5 ,I RETURN$ TO ,CALI=NIA 9 ,DECEMB] ,I WAS ALREADY WORK+ ON ,D\BLE-,REFLECTION4 ,DAN & ,ISAAC W]E EA* WORK+ ON SMALL NEWSLETT]S4 ,TITA HAD JU/ PUBLI%$ A ,SPANI% V]SION ( ,VOY]'S ,REI* >TICLE & WAS GO+ ON TO TRANSLATE ,VANEIGEM'S 0,BASIC ,BANALITIES40 ,ROB]T ,COOP]/E9 7A FRI5D WE HAD MET ! YE> BE=E7 WAS WORK+ ON A COMIC-ILLU/RAT$ PAMPHLET AB\T *ILDR54 ,9 ,M>* #aigd WE GOT AN EXCIT+ & UNEXPECT$ V9DICATION ( \R P]SPECTIVES :5 ,*RIS ,%UTES & ,G9A ,ROS5B]G CAME \T ) ,DIS9T]E/ ,COMP\ND$ ,DAILY1 A DETAIL$ CRITIQUE ( ,PO9T-,BLANK FROM ! 9SIDE 7,*RIS WAS AN EX-MEMB] & ,G9A A SOMETIME COLLABORATOR7 ?AT HAD BE5 9SPIR$ 9 P>T BY \R REC5T PUBLICATIONS4 

,OV] ! NEXT SEV]AL MON?S !RE W]E QUITE A FEW COLLABORATIONS AMONG US & ! ,C,R,Q,S4 ,ONCE ,I HAD COMPLET$ ,D\BLE-,REFLECTION 7:I* ,JOEL IMM$IATELY />T$ TRANSLAT+ 9TO ,FR5*71 ,I JO9$ ,DAN & ,ROB]T 9 TRANSLAT+ ,DANIEL'S REC5T PAMPHLET1 ,!ORIE DE LA MIS]E1 MIS]E DE LA !ORIE1 ALONG ) A C\PLE O!R ,C,R,Q,S TEXTS2 ! *APT] ON 0BEH9DISM0 9 ,D\BLE-,REFLECTION 9SPIR$ ,*RIS TO FOLL[ UP ) A :OLE PAMPHLET ON ! SUBJECT2 HE & ,ISAAC WROTE A CRITIQUE ( ,JON ,HORELICK'S J\RNAL ,DIV]SION1 !N BEGAN WORK+ ON !IR [N J\RNAL1 ,IMPLICATIONS2 ,ISAAC & ,G9A TRANSLAT$ ,DEBORD'S >TICLE ON D]IVES2 ,ISAAC & ,DAN COMPOS$ A LEAFLET ON A BASEBALL RIOT 9 ,CLEVEL&1 :I* !Y DI/RIBUT$ AT A LOCAL ,OAKL& ,A'S GAME444 

,NOT SURPRIS+LY WE BEGAN TO BE CONSID]$ AS A DE FACTO ORGANIZATION4 ,PEOPLE W\LD WRITE TO US AS A GR\P OR ASSUME ?AT A LETT] FROM ONE ( US REPRES5T$ ! VIEWS ( ! O!RS4 ,WE ?\<T IT MI<T BE 9T]E/+ TO TRY TO WORK \T A JO9T PUBLIC /ATEM5T 9 ORD] TO SEE JU/ :AT DEGREE ( ACCORD WE DID HAVE4 ,EV5TUALLY WE CAME UP ) A TEXT ALONG ! L9ES ( ! ,C,R,Q,S'S ,DECL>ATION1 BUT SPECIFY+ ?AT ?\< WE %>$ C]TA9 P]SPECTIVES1 WE W]E EA* ACT+ ONLY 9 \R [N NAME4 ,?IS ,NOTICE ,CONC]N+ ! ,REIGN+ ,SOCIETY & ,?OSE ,:O ,CONTE/ ,IT WAS ISSU$ 9 ,NOVEMB] #a#i#g#d1 ALONG ) A SECOND PO/] ADV]TIS+ \R PUBLICATIONS4 

,DESPITE ! 0,NOTICE'S0 /ATEM5T TO ! CONTR>Y1 PUTT+ \T ! TWO PO/]S P>ADOXICALLY T5D$ TO RE9=CE ! IDEA 7AMONG US AS WELL AS O!RS7 ?AT WE =M$ A UNIFI$ T5D5CY1 :OSE ACTIVITY WAS OBJECTIFI$ AS A COLLECTION ( MUTUALLY APPROV$ TEXTS4 ,!RE WAS 9DE$ A CONSID]ABLE ACCORD AMONG US1 BUT IT WAS PROBABLY A MI/AKE TO /RESS ?IS COMMONALITY AT ! EXP5SE ( NEGLECT+ ! DIV]SITY ( \R VIEWS & 9T]E/S4 ,WE W]E MORE C>EFUL AB\T PRES]V+ 9DIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY ?AN ,CONTRADICTION HAD BE51 BUT ON ! O!R H& ,CONTRADICTION HAD HAD A SUB/ANTIAL COMMON PROJECT ?AT GAVE MORE REASON = ADOPT+ AN EXPLICIT ORGANIZATION4 ,=MULAT+ A COLLECTIVE /ATEM5T CAN BE A FRUITFUL WAY TO WORK \T :]E Y\ /&1 BUT IT ALSO 9VOLVES SOME RISKS2 SPEAK+ 9 ! NAME ( A COLLECTIVITY MAKES IT EASI] TO GET C>RI$ AWAY 9 EXTRAVAGANT RHETORIC ?AT Y\ MI<T BE LESS LIKELY TO USE IF SPEAK+ ONLY = Y\RSELF4 ,! 0>ROGANCE0 ( ! 0,NOTICE0 WAS1 ( C\RSE1 AN 9T5TIONAL EF=T TO *ALL5GE O!RS -- F> FROM BE+ 0ELITI/10 IT OBVI\SLY UND]M9$ :ATEV] T5D5CIES WE MI<T HAVE HAD TO ACCOMMODATE PASSIVE FOLL[]S4 ,NEV]!LESS1 ?IS K9D ( /YLE DOES T5D TO BECOME HABITUAL & 5C\RAGE A POMP\S ATTITUDE4 ,WE W\LD PROBABLY HAVE DONE BETT] TO HAVE KEPT ?+S LOOS]1 MORE AUTONOM\S & MORE MODE/4 

,ANYWAY1 OV] ! NEXT ?REE YE>S WE W]E ALL PRETTY CLOSE1 SOCIALLY AS WELL AS POLITICALLY4 ,WE EV5 WORK$ TOGE!R -- ,JEANNE1 ,DAN & ,I AT ,ROLL+ ,/ONE MAGAZ9E 9 ,SAN ,FRANCISCO1 MO/ ( ! O!RS AS A H\SE-PA9T+ TEAM4 

,:ILE ,I WAS AT ,ROLL+ ,/ONE ,I VAGUELY CONSID]$ P]PETRAT+ SOME SORT ( DET\RNEM5T1 SU* AS REPLAC+ ONE ( ! PAGES ) AN ALT]NATIVE TEXT CRITIQU+ ! MAGAZ9E & ITS READ]%IP2 BUT ?IS TURN$ \T TO BE TE*NICALLY UNFEASIBLE4 ,MORE 9NOCU\SLY1 JU/ = ! 9-JOKE AMUSEM5T ( MY FELL[ WORK]S1 ONE DEADL9E NI<T :ILE ,I WAS WAIT+ = COPY TO COME 9 ,I TYPESET A TAKE(F ON ! ,R,S TABLE ( CONT5TS1 MODEL$ ON ,DAN'S WOND]FUL 0,GREAT ,MOM5TS 9 ! ,VOID0 TRAD+ C>DS3 

,! ,ROLL+ ,/ONE ,9T]VIEW3 ,JEANNE ,JAMBU 

,MANY ( \R READ]S MAY BE MORE FAMILI> ) >TI/ ,JEANNE ,JAMBU UND] H] =M] NAME1 ,JEANNE ,SMI?4 7,SEE MAS!ADS1 ,R,S ,NOS4 #a#g#d-#a#h#f47 ,S5IOR ,$ITOR ,B5 ,FONG-,TORRES SEEKS ,MS4 ,JAMBU'S REASONS = ! *ANGE1 PROB+ BEH9D H] 5IGMATIC 0,I DIDN'T LIKE ! NAME ',SMI?4' 0 ,?R\<\T ! 9T]VIEW ,JAMBU COMES ?R\< AS A WOMAN :O KN[S :AT %E WANTS3 WITNESS H] BR++ H] [N 7,EUROPEAN7 C(FEE TO ! ,PRODUCTION ,DEP>TM5T ?IS ISSUE4 ,BUT ,JAMBU RETA9S A S5SE ( PROPORTION3 %E MODE/LY NOT$ ?AT FELL[ >TI/ ,ROG] ,C>P5T] HAD ACTUALLY 9TRODUC$ ! PRACTICE ) HIS FREQU5T & POPUL> 0,FR5* ,ROA/0 CONTRIBUTIONS4 

,P]SONALITIES 

,) ?IS ISSUE ,ROLL+ ,/ONE 9TRODUCES A DYNAMIC NEW /AFF MEMB]1 ,DAN 70,DANNY07 ,HAMM]4 ,HAMM]'S HAS BE5 A V>I$ C>E]1 ) WORK RANG+ FROM ! BOOK TO ! TRAD+ C>D FIELDS1 BUT HE HAS MADE ! %IFT TO ,ROLL+ ,/ONE ) EASE4 ,HIS MA9 TRIP H]E IS TYPESETT+1 BUT1 AS HE NOT$ 9 A REC5T CONV]SATION1 0,I ALSO SOMETIMES DO A LITTLE OPAQU+ :5 !Y NE$ ME40 

,! ,MISS+ ,TAPES3 ,F\R ,VIEWS BY ,SAMUEL ,BECKETT1 ,NORMAN ,MAIL]1 ,H5RY ,MILL] & ,ALEX&] ,SOLZH5ITSYN 

,%ORTLY AFT] D9N]1 ,>T ,ASSI/ANT ,SUZY ,RICE HAD TR\BLE LOCAT+ SOME TYPESET CORRECTIONS4 ,S5IOR ,TYPESETT] ,K5 ,KNABB SAID HE HAD PUT !M 9 ! PRO(READ+ ROOM1 BUT ,RICE1 F9D+ ?AT !Y W]E NO LONG] !RE1 GREW FRANTIC4 ,LAT] IT TURN$ \T ?AT ! MISS+ TAPES HAD ALREADY BE5 PICK$ UP BY ,>T ,DIRECTOR ,TONY ,LANE4 

,WE ASK$ F\R PROM95T WRIT]S :AT !Y ?\<T AB\T ! 9CID5T4 ,! RESPONSES W]E LIVELY & V>I$4 ,P]HAPS ,ALEX&] ,SOLZH5ITSYN'S WAS ! MO/ P5ETRAT+ COMM5T3 0,I GUESS ?+S LIKE ?AT >E B\ND TO HAPP5 EV]Y N[ & !N40 

,I QUIT MY JOB 9 SUMM] #aige & GOT BACK TO WORK ON NOTES ,I HAD PUT ON HOLD ! YE> BE=E4 ,! FIR/ & ONLY ISSUE ( MY J\RNAL1 ,BUREAU ( ,PUBLIC ,SECRETS1 WAS COMPLET$ ! FOLL[+ ,JANU>Y4 ,AS SOON AS IT WAS PR9T$ & MAIL$ \T ,I W5T TO ,P>IS4 

,! BREAK+ ( A FELL[%IP 

,AP>T FROM BRIEF SIDE TRIPS TO ,LONDON & ,BORDEAUX1 ,I /AY$ ) ! ,D5EV]TS = ! NEXT ?REE MON?S4 ,= ! MO/ P>T WE GOT ON V]Y WELL4 7,H]E AS ELSE:]E ,I'M SKIPP+ MANY 5C\NT]S1 COLLABORATIONS & G5]AL GOOD TIMES1 & FOCUS+ ON A FEW TURN+ PO9TS47 ,BUT DESPITE \R CLOS5ESS 9 MO/ REG>DS1 A DIV]G5CE BEGAN TO BECOME EVID5T ON ! QUE/ION ( BREAKS4 ,:ILE ,I WAS !RE !Y BROKE ) SEV]AL PEOPLE ON :AT SEEM$ TO ME RA!R SUBTLE GR\NDS4 ,?IS DIV]G5CE BECAME MORE PROBLEMATIC :5 SU* BREAKS 9VOLV$ PEOPLE ) :OM ,I HAD SUB/ANTIAL RELATIONS4 ,JOEL ,CORNUAULT HAD BE5 EXCLUD$ FROM ! ,C,R,Q,S A FEW MON?S BE=E1 & ,NAD9E ,BLO* WAS 9 A RA!R UNC]TA9 POSITION BETWE5 HIM & ! ,D5EV]TS4 ,! FACT ?AT ,I WAS SEE+ H] FREQU5TLY :ILE ! ,D5EV]TS W]E NOT MADE = AN UNEASY & SOMETIMES DELICATE SITUATION4 ,AT ONE TIME !RE MI<T SEEM TO BE A RAPPRO*EM5T 9 ! MAK+2 !N IT W\LD BE BROK5 (F BECAUSE ( SOME SEEM+LY TRIVIAL MATT]4 ,?\< ,I C\LD BY N[ UND]/& ,FR5* PRETTY WELL1 SOME ( ! NUANCES W]E /ILL OV] MY HEAD -- ONE SIDE MI<T EXPLA9 TO ME ?AT SU* & SU* A PHRASE 9 A LETT] CONTA9$ A SNIDE IRONY1 ONLY TO HAVE ! O!R D5Y ?IS444 

,SOON AFT] ,I RETURN$ TO ,B]KELEY ,I GOT A LETT] FROM ,DANIEL ANN\NC+ A 0*A9 BREAK0 ) ,NAD9E -- I4E4 ?AT HE WAS NOT ONLY BREAK+ ) ,NAD9E1 BUT W\LD ALSO BREAK ) ANYONE ELSE :O MA9TA9$ ANY RELATION ) H]4 ,I WAS NOT REALLY ANY MORE 5LI<T5$ AB\T ! :OLE BUS9ESS ?AN ,I HAD BE5 BE=E 7HE JU/IFI$ ?IS ULTIMATUM BY ! TONE ( A REC5T LETT] FROM H]71 BUT AFT] MU* AGONIZ+ ,I F9ALLY DECID$ TO RELY ON ! TRU/ & RESPECT ,I HAD = HIS JUDGM5T4 ,SU* RELIANCE MI<T HAVE BE5 APPROPRIATE REG>D+ SOME ?IRD P>TY ,I DIDN'T KN[1 BUT 9 ! PRES5T CASE ,I %\LD HAVE REFUS$ TO GO ALONG ) HIS DEM&4 ,?\< ?IS W\LD HAVE 5D$ MY RELATION ) HIM1 IT MI<T HAVE BR\<T ! :OLE ISSUE ( BREAKS TO A HEAD E>LI] & 9 A CLEAN] WAY ?AN LAT] DEVELOP$4 ,ONCE ,I HAD CAPITULAT$ 9 ?IS WAY1 IT BECAME ?AT MU* MORE DIFFICULT = ME TO TAKE A CLE> /& ON RELAT$ ISSUES ?AT CAME UP A FEW MON?S LAT]4 

,UPSETT+ AS ?IS AFFAIR WAS1 ITS IMPACT ON ME WAS DIM9I%$ BY ! FACT ?AT1 = ! MOM5T1 IT CONC]N$ ONLY MY RELATIONS 9 ,FRANCE4 ,?+S SEEM$ TO BE GO+ WELL 5\< 9 ,B]KELEY4 ,I HAD />T$ MAK+ NOTES = ,! ,REALIZATION & ,SUPPRESSION ( ,RELIGION 9 ,P>IS1 & N[ PLUNG$ 9TO ! PROJECT FULL TIME4 ,I ALSO BEGAN TAK+ NI<T-S*OOL C\RSES 9 ,SPANI% & ,JAPANESE4 ,A GUY 9 ,SPA9 WAS PREP>+ A SMALL AN?OLOGY ( ,B,P,S & ,C,R,Q,S TEXTS & ,I WANT$ TO LE>N 5\< ,SPANI% TO BE ABLE TO *ECK HIS TRANSLATIONS 7HE EV5TUALLY AB&ON$ ! PROJECT1 H[EV]74 ,I HAD ALSO BE5 CORRESPOND+ ) ,TOMMY ,H>UKI1 A ,JAPANESE AN>*I/ :O WAS MANIFE/+ A LOT ( 9T]E/ 9 ! SITUATIONI/S1 & ,I HAD BEGUN TO ?9K AB\T VISIT+ ,JAPAN4 ,BESIDES ! POLITICAL MOTIVATION1 ,I /ILL RETA9$ A C]TA9 9T]E/ 9 ,Z5 & ,JAPANESE CULTURE4 ,I WAS DO+ A LITTLE ZAZ5 EV]Y MORN+ & HAV+ A LOT ( FUN GO+ TO A K>ATE CLASS ) ,ROB]T & ,TITA4 ,RELATIONS ) !M & MY O!R 0,NOTICE0 FRI5DS /ILL SEEM$ PRETTY GOOD4 

,BUT NOT = LONG4 ,)9 A FEW MON?S !RE WAS A TRAUMATIC BREAKUP -- IRONICALLY1 JU/ AS ,I WAS COMPLET+ ! RELIGION PAMPHLET1 :I* WAS 9 P>T CONC]N$ ) QUE/ION+ ASPECTS ( ! SITU SC5E ?AT T5D$ TO GIVE RISE TO ?IS SORT ( HO/ILITY & DELIRIUM4 

,9 ,JANU>Y #aigg ,*RIS WROTE A LETT] TO ! ,D5EV]TS QUE/ION+ ! MANN] ( !IR BREAKS ) ,JOEL & ,NAD9E4 ,!Y RESPOND$ ) A SCA?+ LETT] TO ALL ! 0,NOTICE0 SIGN]S 5 BLOC1 NOT ONLY TAK+ ISSUE ) SEV]AL ( ,*RIS'S PO9TS1 BUT CONSID]+ HIS LETT] AS EXEMPLIFY+ V>I\S 9COH]5CES ?AT ALL ( US HAD BE5 MANIFE/+ OR TOL]AT+4 ,AFT] MU* DISCUSSION ( !SE ISSUES1 ! RE/ ( US DECID$ TO BREAK ) ,*RIS -- NOT SO MU* BECAUSE ( ! PO9TS OBJECT$ TO BY ! ,D5EV]TS 7ON SOME ( ?OSE WE W]E 9 AT LEA/ P>TIAL AGREEM5T ) ,*RIS7 AS BECAUSE ( \R RECONSID]ATION ( SOME RECURR+ T5D5CIES 9 HIS ACTIVITY OV] ! PREVI\S YE>S4 

,! ,D5EV]TS CONCLUD$ ?AT WE W]E US+ HIM AS A SCAPEGOAT & BROKE ) US 9 ,APRIL4 ,A FEW WEEKS LAT] ,G9A CAME >\ND TO A SIMIL> POSITION1 & DEM&$ ?AT EA* ( US 07#a7 D5\NCE ?OR\<LY & PUBLICLY ! BREAK ) ,*RIS & ! BREAK LETT] TO HIM2 7#b7 444 !REBY ANN\NCE ! PROJECT ( FUTURE PUBLIC DISCLOSURE7S7 GIV+1 AS ONE MOM5T ( HIS RETURN TO REVOLUTION>Y PRACTICE1 444 A WRITT5 =M TO ! PRACTICAL TRU? HE HAS GRASP$ 9 HIS /RUGGLE TO BE SEIZ+ HIS PO9T-(-VIEW 9 ! AFT]MA? ( ! ,NOTICE DAYS 7:I* HAVE 5D$72 7#c7 SEV] RELATIONS ) ANY ONE ( ! ,NOTICE SIGN]S :O HAS NOT SE5 FIT TO C>RY \T !SE TWO CRIT]IA40 ,OV] ! NEXT MON? ,*RIS1 ,ISAAC1 ,ROB]T & ,TITA DECL>$ !IR ACCEPTANCE ( !SE ?REE DEM&S4 ,DAN & ,I REFUS$ !M4 

,I N[ ?9K ! BREAK ) ,*RIS WAS 9APPROPRIATE1 ESPECIALLY CONSID]+ ! SITUATION 9 :I* IT TOOK PLACE4 ,! ,D5EV]TS HAD *ALL5G$ US TO CL>IFY \R 9DIVIDUAL & COLLECTIVE ACTIVITY4 ,WE %\LD FIR/ ( ALL HAVE CONFRONT$ !SE MATT]S TO ! PO9T :]E EA* ( US KNEW :]E WE /OOD1 9/EAD ( GETT+ C>RI$ AWAY EXAGG]AT+ ! SIGNIFICANCE ( ,*RIS'S FAULTS1 :I* 9 RETROSPECT DO NOT SEEM TO ME TO HAVE BE5 ALL ?AT S]I\S4 ,AT ! TIME1 H[EV]1 ,I DID NOT FEEL ?AT ! BREAK WAS SO TOTALLY UNJU/IFI$ AS TO CALL = A 0?OR\< D5UNCIATION02 & 9 ANY CASE ,I HAD NO 9T5TION ( 0ANN\NC+0 A PUBLIC ACC\NT+ ( ! AFFAIR BE=E ,I FELT ,I HAD ANY?+ DEF9ITE TO SAY AB\T IT4 

,IT TURN$ \T ?AT1 EXCEPT = ,ISAAC1 NONE ( ?OSE :O RALLI$ TO ,G9A'S POSITION EV] FULFILL$ H] SECOND DEM& EI!R4 ,& ,ISAAC'S BILI\S PIECE 70,! ,AM]ICAN ,SITUATIONI/S3 #a#i#g#b-#g#g07 CONTA9$ SO MANY DI/ORTIONS & SELF-CONTRADICTIONS ?AT HE HIMSELF SOON BECAME DISSATISFI$ ) IT & /OPP$ CIRCULAT+ IT1 ?\< HE NEV] BO!R$ TO PUBLICLY REPUDIATE IT4 

,I />T$ DRAFT+ A CRITIQUE ( ,ISAAC'S TEXT1 :I* AMONG O!R ?+S PROJECT$ ONTO ME V>I\S PRET5SIONS & ILLUSIONS ?AT ,I HAD 9 FACT VEHEM5TLY OPPOS$ :5EV] !Y HAD BE5 MANIFE/$ 7MO/ (T5 BY ,ISAAC & ,*RIS72 BUT ,I EV5TUALLY CONCLUD$ ?AT IT WAS SU* A GROSS DI/ORTION ( REALITY ?AT IT W\LD TAKE AN EQUALLY EXT5SIVE TEXT TO ADEQUATELY DEAL ) IT4 ,!RE SEEM$ LITTLE PO9T 9 GETT+ EMBROIL$ 9 SU* A DISMAL PROJECT :5 ,I W\LD HAVE HAD NO?+ TO (F] BUT D5UNCIATIONS ( HIS MISREPRES5TATIONS OR REIT]ATIONS ( PO9TS ,I HAD ALREADY MADE 9 O!R PUBLICATIONS4 

,DANIEL CIRCULAT$ A MORE S]I\S & COG5T ANALYSIS ( HIS POSITION ON ! AFFAIR 70,SUR LES FONDS D'UN DIVORCE074 ,!RE W]E A FEW ASPECTS ( HIS ACC\NT ?AT ,I MI<T HAVE DEBAT$1 BUT HIS MA9 PO9T WAS SIMPLY ?AT HE & ,FRANCOISE HAD A MORE RIGOR\S POSITION ON BREAKS & RELATIONS ?AN WE DID1 & ?IS WAS TRUE 5\<4 ,)\T WI%+ TO PLAY D[N ! SIGNIFICANCE ( \R O!R DIFF]5CES1 ,I BELIEVE ?AT SOME ( !M M]ELY REFLECT$ \R GEOGRAPHICAL SEP>ATION4 ,?US MY UNSUCCESSFUL EF=T TO GET ,DEBORD'S FILMS CIRCULAT$ 9 ,AM]ICA1 :]E SITUATIONI/ !ORY WAS /ILL ALMO/ UNKN[N & !Y MI<T HAVE HAD A SIGNIFICANT IMPACT1 WAS VIEW$ BY ,DANIEL AS CONTRADICT+ HIS EF=TS 7NOTABLY EXPRESS$ 9 HIS ,DECEMB] #aigf TEXT1 ,SUGGE/IONS RELATIVES AU LEGITIME ELOGE DE L',I4,S47 TO CRITICIZE ! DEVELOPM5T ( A 0,DEBORDI/0 OR?ODOXY 9 ! QUITE DIFF]5T CONDITIONS ( ,FRANCE4 

,:Y DIDN'T ,I RESPOND TO ! MESS BY GETT+ IT \T 9 PUBLIC1 LIKE ,I DID 9 ,REM>KS ON ,CONTRADICTION8 ,FIR/ ( ALL1 MY FRU/RATION ) ! FIZZL+ \T ( ,CONTRADICTION HAD BE5 DUE TO ! FACT ?AT SO MU* PROMIS+ EF=T HAD GONE UNFULFILL$4 ,9 ! PRES5T CASE WE HAD ALREADY COMMUNICAT$ ! MA9 ?+S WE HAD TO SAY 9 NUM]\S PUBLICATIONS4 ,SECONDLY1 :ILE ,I HAD HAD SEV]AL PO9TS TO MAKE REG>D+ ! REASONS = ,CONTRADICTION'S FAILURE1 ,I HAD NOT >RIV$ AT ANY CLE> CONCLUSIONS AB\T ! REASONS = ! CURR5T DEBACLE4 ,AB\T ! ONLY ?+ ,I HAD D]IV$ FROM ! :OLE MIS]ABLE AFFAIR WAS A P]SONAL DET]M9ATION NEV] AGA9 TO YIELD TO PRESSURE REG>D+ BREAKS4 

,PROBABLY ,I W\LD NEV]!LESS HAVE DONE BETT] TO ISSUE SOME PUBLIC /ATEM5T RA!R ?AN LETT+ ! AFFAIR L+] ON 9 UNANSW]$ RUMORS4 ,BUT AT ?IS DI/ANCE 9 TIME1 :5 ALL ! P]SONS 9VOLV$ HAVE LONG AB&ON$ !IR OLD POSITIONS1 !RE W\LD BE LITTLE PO9T 9 GO+ ANY MORE 9TO ! DETAILS 9 CONT5TION1 :I* 9 MY VIEW W]E AS UN$IFY+ AS !Y W]E CONVOLUT$4 

,?IS MAY1 H[EV]1 BE A GOOD PLACE TO MAKE SOME REM>KS AB\T ! :OLE VEX$ ISSUE ( SITUATIONI/-TYPE BREAKS4 

,FIR/ ( ALL1 JU/ TO KEEP ?+S 9 P]SPECTIVE1 IT'S IMPORTANT TO REMEMB] ?AT 9 BREAK+ ) PEOPLE ! SITUATIONI/S W]E DO+ NO?+ MORE ?AN *OOS+ !IR [N COMPANY -- DECID+ :OM !Y WI%$ TO ASSOCIATE ) & MAK+ CLE>1 9 CASES :]E !RE MI<T O!RWISE HAVE BE5 SOME CONFUSION1 :OM !Y DID NOT WI% TO BE ASSOCIAT$ )4 ,!RE'S NO?+ ELITI/ AB\T SU* A PRACTICE2 ?OSE :O WANT TO RECRUIT DEVOT$ FOLL[]S EMPLOY TACT1 NOT 9SULTS4 ,! SITUATIONI/S /ROVE TO PROVOKE O!RS TO C>RY \T !IR [N AUTONOM\S ACTIVITIES4 ,IF ! 0VICTIMS0 ( !IR BREAKS PROV$ 9CAPABLE ( DO+ SO1 !Y ONLY CONFIRM$ ! APPROPRIAT5ESS ( ! BREAK4 

,DIFF]5T TYPES ( PROJECTS CALL = DIFF]5T CRIT]IA4 ,BEG9N+ BY CRITICIZ+ ! AVANT-G>DE CULTURAL MILIEU 9 :I* !Y F\ND !MSELVES 9 ! #a#i#eS & MOV+ T[>D A MORE G5]AL CRITIQUE ( ! GLOBAL SY/EM1 ! SITUATIONI/S' PROJECT WAS AT ONCE EXTREMELY AMBITI\S & QUITE SPECIFIC TO !IR [N SITUATION4 ,IT W\LD HAVE BE5 ABSURD = !M TO ACCEPT COLLABORATION ) ?OSE :O DID NOT EV5 GRASP :AT ?IS PROJECT WAS1 OR :O CLUNG TO PRACTICES ?AT W]E 9CONSI/5T ) IT4 ,IF1 SAY1 ! ,S,I WANT$ TO C>RY \T A BOYCOTT ( SOME CULTURAL 9/ITUTION1 ?IS BOYCOTT W\LD OBVI\SLY LOSE ITS PUN* IF SOME ,S,I MEMB]S CONT9U$ TO MA9TA9 RELATIONS ) ! 9/ITUTION 9 QUE/ION4 ,AN E>LY ,S,I >TICLE PO9T$ \T ! DANG] ( LOS+ ONE'S RADICAL COH]5CE BY BLURR+ 9TO ! AMBIGUITY ( ! CULTURAL MILIEU3 

,)9 SU* A COMMUNITY PEOPLE HAVE NEI!R ! NE$ NOR ! OBJECTIVE POSSIBILITY = ANY SORT ( COLLECTIVE DISCIPL9E4 ,EV]YONE ALWAYS POLITELY AGREES AB\T ! SAME ?+S & NO?+ EV] *ANGES444 ,! 0T]RORISM0 ( ! ,S,I'S EXCLUSIONS CAN 9 NO WAY BE COMP>$ TO ! SAME PRACTICES 9 POLITICAL MOVEM5TS BY P[]-WIELD+ BUREAUCRACIES4 ,IT IS1 ON ! CONTR>Y1 ! EXTREME AMBIGUITY ( ! SITUATION ( >TI/S1 :O >E CON/ANTLY TEMPT$ TO 9TEGRATE !MSELVES 9TO ! MODE/ SPH]E ( SOCIAL P[] RES]V$ = !M1 ?AT MAKES SOME DISCIPL9E NECESS>Y 9 ORD] TO CLE>LY DEF9E AN 9CORRUPTIBLE PLAT=M4 ,O!RWISE !RE W\LD BE A RAPID & IRREM$IABLE OSMOSIS BETWE5 ?IS PLAT=M & ! DOM9ANT CULTURAL MILIEU BECAUSE ( ! NUMB] ( PEOPLE GO+ BACK & =?4 7,S,I ,AN?OLOGY1 P4 #f .<,REVIS$ ,$ITION P4 #g#i.> .<,! ,ADV5TURE.>4 ,= O!R >TICLES RELAT+ TO BREAKS1 SEE PP4 #d#g-#d#h1 #a#g#g-#a#g#i1 #b#a#f-#b#a#i 9 ! SAME BOOK .<,REVIS$ ,$ITION PP4 #e#h-#e#i1 #b#c-#b#c#c1 #b#g#g-#b#h#a.> .<,NO ,USELESS ,L5I5CY1 ,! ,IDEOLOGY ( ,DIALOGUE1 & ,AIM+ = ,PRACTICAL ,TRU?.>47 

,ONE NE$ ONLY RECALL H[ MANY RADICAL CULTURAL & POLITICAL MOVEM5TS HAVE LO/ !IR ORIG9AL AUDACITY1 & EV5TUALLY !IR V]Y ID5TITY1 BY BECOM+ HABITUAT$ TO LITTLE DEALS & COMPROMISES1 SETTL+ 9TO COM=TABLE NI*ES 9 ACADEMIA1 HOBNOBB+ ) ! RI* & FAM\S1 BECOM+ DEP5D5T ON GOV]NM5T OR F\NDATION GRANTS1 P&]+ TO AUDI5CES1 CAT]+ TO REVIEW]S & 9T]VIEW]S1 & O!RWISE ACCOMMODAT+ !MSELVES TO ! /ATUS QUO4 ,IT IS SAFE TO SAY ?AT IF ! ,S,I HAD NOT HAD A RIGOR\S POLICY ( BREAKS & EXCLUSIONS1 IT W\LD HAVE 5D$ UP AS ONE MORE AMORPH\S & 9NOCU\S AVANT-G>DE GR\P ( ! SORT ?AT COME & GO EV]Y YE> & >E REMEMB]$ ONLY 9 ! FOOTNOTES ( CULTURAL HI/ORIES4 

,?IS IS A PRACTICAL QUE/ION1 NOT A MORAL ONE4 ,IT'S NOT JU/ ?AT IT W\LD HAVE SEEM$ HYPOCRITICAL = ! SITUATIONI/S TO HAVE WRITT5 ,ON ! ,POV]TY ( ,/UD5T ,LIFE IF !Y HAD BE5 ACADEMICS2 IF !Y HAD BE5 ACADEMICS !Y W\LD NOT HAVE BE5 CAPABLE ( WRIT+ IT4 ,! LUCIDITY ( ! ,S,I TEXTS WAS DIRECTLY L9K$ TO ! AU?ORS' 9TRANSIG5CE4 ,Y\ DON'T GET ON ! CUTT+ $GE )\T CUTT+ Y\RSELF FREE FROM ! R\T9ES & COMPROMISES >\ND Y\4 

,BUT :AT WAS P]HAPS APPROPRIATE = ! ,S,I IS NOT NECESS>ILY ESS5TIAL = O!RS 9 O!R CIRCUM/ANCES4 ,:5 ! SITUATIONI/S W]E ISOLAT$ & PRACTICALLY UNKN[N1 !Y DID WELL TO MAKE SURE ?AT !IR UNIQUE P]SPECTIVE WAS NOT COMPROMIS$4 ,N[ ?AT ?AT P]SPECTIVE HAS SPREAD AMONG ?\S&S ( PEOPLE >\ND ! WORLD & C\LD NOT POSSIBLY BE REPRESS$ 7?\< IT CAN1 ( C\RSE1 /ILL BE COOPT$ 9 V>I\S WAYS71 !RE W\LD SEEM TO BE LESS JU/IFICATION = ! OLD ,S,I-/YLE BLU/]4 ,A RADICAL GR\P MAY /ILL DECIDE TO DISSOCIATE ITSELF FROM C]TA9 9DIVIDUALS OR 9/ITUTIONS1 BUT IT HAS LESS REASON TO ACT AS IF EV]Y?+ H+ES ON ITS [N PURITY1 MU* LESS TO IMPLY ?AT ITS [N P>TICUL> /&>DS %\LD BE ADOPT$ BY EV]YONE ELSE4 

,! SITUATIONI/ PRACTICE ( PUBLIC POL>IZATION HAS HAD ! M]IT ( FO/]+ RADICAL AUTONOMY2 BUT 79 P>T1 ,I BELIEVE1 BECAUSE ( SOME ( ! FACTORS ,I DISCUSS$ 9 MY RELIGION PAMPHLET7 ?IS PRACTICE ULTIMATELY DEVELOP$ ITS [N IRRATIONAL AUTONOM\S MOM5TUM4 ,9CREAS+LY TRIVIAL P]SONAL ANTAGONISMS CAME TO BE TREAT$ AS S]I\S POLITICAL DIFF]5CES4 ,H[EV] JU/IFI$ SOME ( ! BREAKS MAY HAVE BE51 ! :OLE SITU SC5E 5D$ UP LOOK+ PRETTY SILLY :5 VIRTUALLY EV]Y 9DIVIDUAL HAD DISDA9FULLY SPLIT FROM VIRTUALLY ALL ! O!RS4 ,MANY P>TICIPANTS F9ALLY GOT SO TRAUMATIZ$ ?AT !Y 5D$ UP REPRESS+ ! :OLE EXP]I5CE4 

,I NEV] W5T ?AT F>4 ,I NEV] R5\NC$ MY RADICAL & 7AP>T FROM A FEW NUANCES7 /ILL BASICALLY SITUATIONI/ P]SPECTIVE1 & HAVE NO PLANS TO4 ,BUT ,I WAS C]TA9LY DI%E>T5$ BY \R #aigg BREAKUP4 ,= YE>S ,I MULL$ IT OV]1 TRY+ TO COME TO T]MS ) :AT HAD HAPP5$4 ,AS LONG AS IT HUNG OV] ME IT WAS DIFFICULT TO BE AS AUDACI\S AS ,I HAD SOMETIMES BE5 BE=E4 ,I CONT9U$ TO MAKE NOTES ON V>I\S TOPICS1 BUT EXCEPT = TWO OR ?REE RELATIVELY %ORT & SPECIFIC PROJECTS ,I WAS UNABLE TO BR+ !M TO COMPLETION4 ,BESIDES OBJECTIVE DIFFICULTIES 9 ! TOPICS !MSELVES 79CLUD+ ! RELATIVE EBB+ ( RADICAL ACTIVITY 9 ! LATE SEV5TIES7 !RE W\LD 9EVITABLY BE RAMIFICATIONS ?AT W\LD RELATE BACK TO ! OLD TRAUMA4 

,ANYWAY1 9 ! IMM$IATE AFT]MA? ( ! BREAKUP1 F9D+ MYSELF SUDD5LY E/RANG$ FROM SEV]AL ( MY CLOSE/ FRI5DS & UNSURE ( :AT TO DO NEXT1 ,I FIGUR$ ?IS WAS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO GO TO ,JAPAN4 ,?AT SUMM] ,I TOOK AN 9T5SIVE ?REE-MON? ,JAPANESE C\RSE AT ! ,UNIV]SITY1 & 9 ,SEPTEMB] ,I FLEW TO ,TOKYO4 

,P>T #c 7#a#i#g#g-#a#i#i#g7 

,JAPAN & ,HONG ,KONG 

,I WAS 9 ,JAPAN = TWO MON?S1 BAS$ 9 ,FUJ9OMIYA1 A QUIET C\NTRY T[N AT ! FOOT ( ,MT4 ,FUJI :]E ,TOMMY ,H>UKI & HIS FAMILY LIV$1 5\< (F ! BEAT5 TRACK ?AT SOME ( ! NEI<BORHOOD *ILDR5 HAD NEV] SE5 A =EIGN]4 

,AFT] A WEEK OR TWO ,I RETURN$ TO ,TOKYO TO MEET SOME Y\NG AN>*I/S :O W]E TRANSLAT+ MY 0,SOCIETY ( ,SITUATIONISM40 ,IT WAS 9T]E/+ TO TRY TO COME UP ) ,JAPANESE EQUIVAL5TS = :AT ,I HAD WRITT52 BUT DUE TO ! ABS5CE ( SITUATIONI/ ACTIVITY 9 ,JAPAN !Y NATURALLY HAD NO CONCEPTION ( MANY ( ! NUANCES ( IDEOLOGIZATION ?AT MY TEXT IS L>GELY CONC]N$ )1 SO ,I D\BT IF ! TRANSLATION EV] MET ) MU* UND]/&+4 

,I MET A NUMB] ( O!R AN>*I/S 9 ,TOKYO1 BUT = ! MO/ P>T ,I DID NOT F9D ! SC5E ( MU* 9T]E/4 ,JU/ TO SEE IF ,I C\LD /IR ?+S UP A BIT1 ,I WROTE A %>PLY CRITICAL OP5 LETT] TO ONE ( ! GR\PS .<,OP5 ,LETT] TO ! ,TOKYO 0,LIB]TAIRE0 ,GR\P.>1 :I* ,H>UKI TRANSLAT$ & CIRCULAT$ TO AN>*I/ ADDRESSES ?R\<\T ,JAPAN4 ,! GR\P REPR9T$ IT ALONG ) A C\PLE RESPONSES ON ! 0,IF Y\ CAN'T SAY ANY?+ NICE1 DON'T SAY ANY?+0 !ME4 

,9 ,NOVEMB] ,I MADE A ?REE-WEEK TRIP TO ,HONG ,KONG TO MEET ! 0#gS10 AN AN>*I/ GR\P ?AT WAS DISSEM9AT+ 9=MATION ON DISSID5T T5D5CIES 9 ,*9A AT A TIME :5 SU* 9=MATION WAS V]Y H>D TO COME BY & MANY PEOPLE /ILL HAD ILLUSIONS AB\T ,MAO & ! 0,CULTURAL ,REVOLUTION40 ,I LAT] PUT \T A CRITICAL APPRECIATION ( ! GR\P & ITS PUBLICATIONS .<,A ,RADICAL ,GR\P 9 ,HONG ,KONG.>4 ,TO MY SURPRISE & DISAPPO9TM5T1 ?IS TEXT DID NOT RECEIVE ANY PUBLIC RESPONSE FROM ! #gS1 ?\< IT APP>5TLY /IRR$ UP SOME 9T]NAL DEBATE4 0,AL?\< SOME OV]SEAS COMRADES HAVE CRITICIZ$ Y\R ',A ,RADICAL ,GR\P 9 ,HONG ,KONG' AS SUP]CILI\S !RE >E A NUMB] ( US H]E 7PEOPLE 9CLUD+ MYSELF :O HAVE NOT MET Y\7 :O DO V]Y MU* AGREE ) Y\ 9 Y\R CRITICISMS ( ! #g'S TO ! F9E/ DETAILS10 WROTE ONE CORRESPOND5T1 :O UN=TUNATELY 5D$ UP RALLY+ TO ! /ALE DOGMATISM ( ! ,9T]NATIONAL ,COMMUNI/ ,CURR5T1 :I* H>DLY REPRES5TS ANY IMPROVEM5T4 ,! #gS GR\P ITSELF DISSOLV$ 9 ! E>LY #a#i#hS4 

,BACK 9 ,JAPAN1 ,I VISIT$ SOME O!R AN>*I/S 9 ,KYOTO & ,OSAKA2 HELP$ ,H>UKI REPR9T A ,JAPANESE TRANSLATION ( ,ON ! ,POV]TY ( ,/UD5T ,LIFE ?AT WE HAD DISCOV]$2 SAVOR$ A FEW F9AL DICTION>Y-AID$ CONV]SATIONS1 ACCOMPANI$ ) CUPS ( HOT SAKE 7P>TICUL>LY PLEASANT AS ! ,DECEMB] COLD BEGAN TO P5ETRATE ! UN9SULAT$ H\SES72 & RETURN$ TO ,B]KELEY4 

,I HAD MIX$ FEEL+S AB\T ,JAPAN4 ,I DISLIK$ ! CON=MISM1 ! WORK E?IC1 & ! P]SI/5CE ( TRADITIONAL HI]>*IES & G5D] DIVISIONS4 7,!RE >E EV5 DIFF]5T GRAMMATICAL =MS DEP5D+ ON :E!R Y\'RE A MAN OR A WOMAN1 OR >E SPEAK+ TO A SUP]IOR OR AN 9F]IOR -- ,I F\ND IT H>D TO TAKE ?AT SORT ( ?+ S]I\SLY47 ,BUT ,I LIK$ SOME ASPECTS ( ! CULTURE V]Y MU* -- ! TRADITIONAL >*ITECTURE & DECOR2 ! POLITE1 MODE/ COMPORTM5T2 ! DELICI\S CUIS9E2 ! ALMO/ FANATICAL NEATNESS4 7,! PRACTICE ( TAK+ (F Y\R %OES BE=E 5T]+ SOMEONE'S HOME SEEM$ SO S5SIBLE & COM=TABLE ?AT ,I'VE ADOPT$ IT EV] S9CE 9 MY [N HOME47 ,& ! LANGUAGE1 ?\< DIFFICULT1 IS FASC9AT+ TO WORK )4 ,BACK 9 ,B]KELEY ,I CONT9U$ TO /UDY IT1 ) ! IDEA ?AT ,I MI<T GO BACK & LIVE !RE = A :ILE4 ,BUT ,I NEV] 5D$ UP DO+ SO1 PRIM>ILY BECAUSE ,I DIDN'T HE> ( ANY 9T]E/+ NEW RADICAL DEVELOPM5TS !RE OR ANY NEW CONTACTS ,I WANT$ TO MEET4 ,AFT] A YE> ,I DISCONT9U$ ! /UDY1 & HAVE S9CE =GOTT5 ALMO/ EV]Y?+ ,I KNEW4 ,BUT IT WAS FUN :ILE IT LA/$4 

,AP>T FROM ,JAPANESE /UDY1 MO/ ( #ai< WAS TAK5 UP ) PRO(READ+ WORK4 ,= ! LA/ TWO DECADES ,I'VE GOTT5 BY ON V>I\S FREELANCE PRO(READ+ & $IT+ JOBS -- NOT V]Y EXCIT+1 BUT IT ALL[S ME FLEXIBLE H\RS & A LOT ( FREE TIME4 ,HAV+ FAIRLY SIMPLE TA/ES & NO FAMILY TO SUPPORT1 ,I'VE BE5 ABLE TO LIVE MY 5TIRE ADULT LIFE 9 MODE/ COM=T ON AN 9COME BEL[ ! (FICIAL POV]TY LEVEL4 ,( MY ONLY TWO APP>5T EXTRAVAGANCES1 MY PUBLICATIONS HAVE ALMO/ PAID = !MSELVES 7IF Y\ DON'T C\NT MY 0LABOR0 ON !M1 :I* HAS MO/LY BE5 FUN7 & EV5 MY OCCASIONAL =EIGN TRIPS HAVE BE5 RELATIVELY *EAP BECAUSE ,I G5]ALLY ONLY GO TO PLACES :]E !RE >E FRI5DS OR CONTACTS ,I CAN /AY )4 

,?AT FALL ,I />T$ CLOSELY FOLL[+ ! REVOLT 9 ,IRAN1 READ+ DAILY PRESS ACC\NTS AS WELL AS EXPLOR+ A LOT ( BACKGR\ND HI/ORY4 ,9 ,M>* #aigi ,I ISSU$ A PO/]1 ,! ,OP5+ 9 ,IRAN1 SEV]AL HUNDR$ COPIES ( :I* W]E DI/RIBUT$ TO RADICAL ,IRANIAN /UD5T GR\PS 9 ,AM]ICA4 ,IT WAS MY HOPE ?AT A FEW COPIES1 OR AT LEA/ SOME ( ! IDEAS1 MI<T F9D !IR WAY TO ,IRAN1 BUT ,I DON'T KN[ IF ?IS EV] HAPP5$4 ,SOME ( ! 9DIVIDUAL ,IRANIANS ,I MET W]E VAGUELY SYMPA!TIC1 BUT MO/ W]E TOO CAU<T UP 9 ! MOM5TUM ( EV5TS & TOO ATTA*$ TO ,ISLAM OR TO ONE OR ANO!R V>IETY ( ,L59ISM TO COMPREH5D ANY TRULY RADICAL P]SPECTIVE4 ,A FEW EV5 ?REAT5$ TO BEAT ME UP = DISP>AG+ ,KHOME9I4 

,MY TEXT HAS BE5 CRITICIZ$ = UND]E/IMAT+ ! PREPOND]ANCE ( ! RELIGI\S ELEM5T 9 ! UPRIS+4 ,I ASSUM$ ?AT BO? ! /R5G? ( ! ,KHOME9II/ MOVEM5T & ITS REACTION>Y NATURE W]E OBVI\S4 ,9 ANY CASE1 ?\< ,KHOME9I'S EV5TUAL VICTORY SEEM$ LIKELY1 ,I DID NOT BELIEVE IT WAS A =EGONE CONCLUSION -- AS IT WAS1 IT TOOK HIM SEV]AL MON?S TO REALLY CONSOLIDATE HIS P[]4 ,LEAV+ ASIDE ! ADMITT$LY OV]5?USIA/IC OP5+ S5T5CE1 :I* WAS ADD$ ON A LA/-M9UTE IMPULSE1 MY TEXT WAS SIMPLY AN ATTEMPT TO CUT ?R\< ! PREVAL5T CONFUSIONS & DI/+UI% ! V>I\S =CES & FACTORS 9 PLAY2 IT PRES5T$ POSSIBILITIES1 NOT PROBABILITIES OR PR$ICTIONS4 ,= :ATEV] IT MAY BE WOR?1 SOMEONE LAT] WROTE TO ME3 0,I WAS 9 ,IRAN %ORTLY AFT] ! REVOLUTION4 ,I HIT*HIK$ FROM ! ,PAKI/AN BORD] TO ! ,TURKI% BORD]4 ,I CAN TELL ( DOZ5S ( EXAMPLES :]E ORD9>Y PEOPLE HAD TAK5 P[]4 ,Y\R ANALYSIS ( ! SITUATION 9 ,IRAN & ITS POSSIBILITIES IS ! ONLY BIT ( 9=MATION ,I HAVE SE5 ?AT EV5 REMOTELY RESEMBLES ! TRU?40 ,I KN[ NO?+ AB\T ! RELIABILITY ( ?IS P]SON1 BUT EV]Y /ATEM5T 9 MY TEXT WAS BAS$ ON DOCUM5T$ S\RCES1 MO/ ( !M NO MORE RADICAL ?AN ,LE ,MONDE OR ! ,*RI/IAN ,SCI5CE ,MONITOR4 

,! ,MONITOR1 9CID5TALLY1 IS ! ONLY MA9/REAM NEWS PUBLICATION ,I READ ) ANY REGUL>ITY3 ,I'VE SUBSCRIB$ TO IT EV] S9CE ,I DISCOV]$ IT :ILE RESE>*+ MY ,IRAN PIECE4 ,IT IS1 ( C\RSE1 F> FROM RADICAL1 BUT ,I F9D IT LESS OBNOXI\S ?AN O!R ,AM]ICAN PAP]S1 & )9 ITS MOD]ATE1 MORE OR LESS LIB]AL-HUMANI/IC LIMITS 7! PAP]'S RELIGI\S P]SPECTIVE R>ELY OBTRUDES7 IT GIVES MORE 9T]NATIONAL NEWS & WA/ES LESS SPACE ON ! LATE/ MORONIC S5SATIONS4 

,9 FALL #aigi ,I W5T TO ,EUROPE = F\R MON?S4 ,SEV]AL WEEKS W]E TAK5 UP 9 SIDE TRIPS TO MEET CONTACTS 9 ,MANNHEIM1 ,NANTES1 ,BORDEAUX1 ,B>CELONA1 ,A!NS & ,!SSALONIKI4 ,! RE/ ( ! TIME ,I /AY$ 9 ,P>IS1 HO/$ BY ,NAD9E & ,JOEL1 ) :OM ,I WAS BACK ON EXCELL5T T]MS 7!Y HAD VISIT$ ME 9 ,CALI=NIA ! YE> BE=E74 ,I ALSO SAW ! ,D5EV]TS A FEW TIMES4 ,AFT] ! #aigg BREAK !Y TOO HAD GONE ?R\< A TRAUMATIC P]IOD ?AT HAD EV5TUALLY L$ !M TO QUE/ION ! SORT ( HO/ILITY & DELIRIUM ?AT HAD FREQU5TLY ACCOMPANI$ BREAKS 9 ! SITU MILIEU1 & HAD 9ITIAT$ SOME DEGREE ( RECONCILIATION ) SOME ( ! PEOPLE !Y HAD PREVI\SLY BROK5 )4 ,?IS DID NOT MEAN ?AT !Y W]E RESIGN$ TO SETTL+ BACK 9TO ! USUAL SUP]FICIAL SOCIAL RELATIONS4 ,A YE> LAT] !Y S5T \T A SET ( 0,LETTRES SUR L'AMITIE0 9 :I* !Y DISCUSS$ !IR REC5T EXP]I5CES ON ! T]RA9 ( POLITICAL & P]SONAL RELATION%IPS & DECL>$ A 0FRI5D%IP /RIKE0 ( 9DEF9ITE DURATION4 ,?AT WAS ! LA/ ,I EV] HE>D ( !M4 ,! NEXT TIME ,I TRI$ TO GET 9 T\* ) !M !Y HAD MOV$ & LEFT NO ADDRESS4 7,DOES ANYONE KN[ :]E !Y >E87 .<,I HAVE S9CE F\ND !M4.> 

,:ILE ,I WAS 9 ,P>IS ,I DRAFT$ A LEAFLET1 APROPOS ( NO?+ 9 P>TICUL> 7,I 5VISION$ H&+ IT \T AT R&OM 9 ! ,METRO1 ETC474 ,:AT ) ONE ?+ OR ANO!R ,I NEV] GOT >\ND TO PR9T+ IT UP4 ,H]E IT IS = ! FIR/ TIME1 SEV5TE5 YE>S LAT]3 

,P,>,I,S ,S,P,L,E,5 

,9 ,P>IS MORE ?AN ANY:]E ELSE1 ESPECIALLY S9CE ! SITUATIONI/S1 EV]Y?+ HAS BE5 SAID BUT FEW HAVE TAK5 ADVANTAGE ( IT4 ,BECAUSE !ORY IS 9 ITSELF COMMONPLACE IT CAN ONLY BE ( VALUE TO PEOPLE :O >E NOT4 ,RADICAL TEXTS HAVE BECOME AS R\T9E AS ! WORK & CONSUMPTION !Y D5\NCE4 ,YES1 WE KN[ IT'S NECESS>Y TO ABOLI% ! /ATE & WAGE LABOR1 TO LIB]ATE \R EV]YDAY LIVES1 ETC4 ,BUT WE BECOME BLASE4 ,IT BECOMES DIFFICULT TO ?9K = \RSELVES4 ,REVOLUTION IS CONTA9$ BY OV]EXPOSURE4 

,ONLY EXCEPTIONALLY >E \R /RUGGLES OP5 & CLE>4 ,USUALLY WE >E 5TANGL$1 IMPLICAT$ 9 :AT WE WANT TO FI<T4 ,IT'S EASY1 & COM=T+1 TO BLAME ! CAPITALI/S OR ! BUREAUCRATS OR ! POLICE2 BUT IT'S ONLY ?ANKS TO ! PASSIVE COMPLICITY ( ! 0MASSES0 ?AT ?OSE SMALL M9ORITIES HAVE ANY P[]4 ,IT'S NOT SO MU* ! 0FAULT0 ( ! UNIONS OR ! MASS M$IA = FALSIFY+ WORK]S' /RUGGLES -- AFT] ALL1 ?AT'S !IR FUNCTION -- AS ( ! WORK]S :O FAIL TO !MSELVES ASSURE ! COMMUNICATION ( !IR [N EXP]I5CES & P]SPECTIVES4 

,BAD 5\< ?AT ! SY/EM EXPLOITS US & HURTS US & KEEPS US 9 IGNORANCE4 ,WORSE IS ?AT IT W>PS US1 TURNS US 9TO MEAN1 PETTY1 SPITEFUL1 C[>DLY CREATURES4 ,W]E WE CONFRONT$ ) A S+LE GROSS TEMPTATION TO SELF-BETRAYAL WE MI<T WELL REFUSE IT4 ,BUT LITTLE BY LITTLE A ?\S& COMPROMISES WE> AWAY \R RESI/ANCE4 ,WE BECOME 9CAPABLE ( ANY EXP]IM5TATION1 = FE> ( DI/URB+ ! DEF5SES WE HAVE BUILT UP TO REPRESS \R %AME4 ,EV5 :5 WE >RIVE AT CONSID]+ A CRITICAL ACTION1 WE HESITATE2 WE F9D SO MANY OBJECTIONS -- WE >E AFRAID ( SEEM+ FOOLI%1 AFRAID ( BE+ MI/AK51 AFRAID ?AT \R IDEA WON'T WORK1 OR ?AT IF IT DOES IT WON'T AM\NT TO ANY?+4 

,HYPOCRITE READ]1 Y\R BLASE EXPRESSION DOESN'T HIDE ! FACT ?AT Y\ KN[ V]Y WELL :AT ,I'M TALK+ AB\T4 ,Y\ GO FROM IDEOLOGY TO IDEOLOGY1 EA* CONTA9+ JU/ 5\< TRU? TO KEEP Y\ HANG+ ON BUT FRAGM5T>Y 5\< TO KEEP Y\ FROM CONFRONT+ ! TOTALITY CONCRETELY4 ,SUCCESSIVELY DISILLUSION$1 Y\ 5D UP BELIEV+ 9 NO?+ BUT ! ILLUSORY NATURE ( EV]Y?+4 ,CYNICAL SPECTATOR1 LIKE EV]YONE ELSE Y\ PRIDE Y\RSELF ON BE+ 0DIFF]5T40 ,Y\ CONSOLE Y\RSELF BY DESPIS+ ! NAIVE1 ! PROV9CIAL1 ! YOKEL1 ! P]SON :O /ILL BELIEVES 9 ,GOD OR 9 HIS JOB -- :OSE C>ICATUR$ SUBMISSION IS PRES5T$ AS A FOIL PRECISELY TO MAKE Y\ =GET Y\R [N SUBMISSION4 ,Y\ >E EV5 TELL+ Y\RSELF RI<T N[ ?AT ?IS APPLIES TO MO/ PEOPLE BUT NOT TO Y\2 :ILE ! P]SON NEXT TO Y\ ?9KS ?AT IT APPLIES TO Y\ BUT NOT TO HIM4 

,Y\ VAGUELY IMAG9E ?AT SOMEH[ Y\R LIFE MAY GET BETT]4 ,DO Y\ REALLY HAVE ANY REASON TO BELIEVE ?AT8 ,>E Y\ GO+ TO CONT9UE AS Y\ HAVE UNTIL Y\ DIE8 ,HAVE Y\ NO?+ TO SAY8 ,HAVE Y\ NO AUDACITY1 NO IMAG9ATION8 

,DIALOGUE MU/ CONC]N ITSELF ) ! SUPPRESSION ( ! CONDITIONS ?AT SUPPRESS DIALOGUE6 

,LET'S RESOLVE ! ANA*RONI/IC 0SOCIAL QUE/ION0 SO WE CAN TACKLE MORE 9T]E/+ PROBLEMS6 

,PETT9ESS IS ALWAYS C\NT]REVOLUTION>Y6 

,! ,S,I ,AN?OLOGY 

,BACK 9 ,B]KELEY ,I />T$ WORK+ ON MY ,SITUATIONI/ ,9T]NATIONAL ,AN?OLOGY4 ,= YE>S ,I HAD BE5 FRU/RAT$ BY ! LACK ( ,S,I TRANSLATIONS4 ,MO/ ( ?OSE ?AT HAD APPE>$ W]E 9ACCURATE1 & ! FEW RELATIVELY GOOD ONES W]E USUALLY \T ( PR9T4 ,IT WAS DIFFICULT = PEOPLE TO GET A S5SE ( ! OV]ALL SITUATIONI/ P]SPECTIVE & H[ IT HAD DEVELOP$ BY READ+ JU/ A FEW SCATT]$ >TICLES1 & ! ONLY G5]AL COLLECTION1 ,*RI/OPH] ,GRAY'S ,LEAV+ ! ,TW5TIE? ,C5TURY1 WAS 9ADEQUATE 9 SEV]AL RESPECTS4 ,I HAD ALREADY CONSID]$ DO+ SOME TRANSLATIONS MYSELF1 BUT MY #aige PROPOSAL 79 ! 0,BL9D ,M5 & ! ,ELEPHANT0 PO/]7 HAD FAIL$ TO 9T]E/ ANY PUBLI%]S1 & ! ?\<T ( SELF-PUBLI%+ A L>GE COLLECTION SEEM$ TOO OV]:ELM+4 ,DELAY WAS ALSO CAUS$ BY TWO PROJECT$ COMM]CIAL $ITIONS ( ,VANEIGEM'S ,TREATISE ?AT PROV$ ABORTIVE3 ?OSE ( US :O MI<T HAVE GONE AHEAD TO TRANSLATE & PUBLI% SITUATIONI/ TEXTS \RSELVES W]E MISL$ BY !SE PUBLI%]S' FIRM ASSURANCE ?AT !IR $ITIONS W\LD SOON BE \T -- :I*1 IF TRUE1 W\LD PROBABLY HAVE L$ TO O!R SITUATIONI/ BOOKS BE+ ISSU$ BY MAJOR PUBLI%]S4 

,EV5TUALLY1 AFT] YET O!R RUMORS ( NEW TRANSLATIONS PROV$ UNF\ND$1 ,I CONCLUD$ ?AT IF ,I WANT$ A COMPET5T COLLECTION ,I W\LD HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF4 ,?\< NOT TOTALLY FLU5T 9 ,FR5*1 ,I DID BY ?IS TIME HAVE A PRETTY ?OR\< UND]/&+ ( ! TEXTS & ,I WAS ABLE TO 5LI/ ,JOEL & ,NAD9E'S HELP 9 CL>IFY+ ANY OBSCURITIES ?AT REMA9$4 

,AS SOON AS ,I HAD WORK$ \T A FAIRLY SPECIFIC IDEA ( ! CONT5TS ( ! ,AN?OLOGY ,I S5T \T A PROSPECTUS TO SOME ?IRTY PUBLI%]S1 BUT RAN 9TO ! USUAL PRESUMPTION ?AT SITUATIONI/ WRIT+S W]E TOO DIFFICULT OR OBSCURE4 ,9 RETROSPECT ?IS WAS PROBABLY =TUNATE4 ,HAD ,I SUCCE$$1 ,I MI<T HAVE HAD TO WORRY AB\T ! PUBLI%] >GU+ AB\T MY *OICE ( TEXTS1 9SI/+ ON A PREFACE BY SOME RADICAL CELEBRITY1 ADD+ BLURBS BY REVIEW]S :O DIDN'T KN[ :AT !Y W]E TALK+ AB\T1 DELAY+ PUBLICATION1 LETT+ ! BOOK GO \T ( PR9T1 ETC4 ,BY SELF-PUBLI%+ ,I WAS ABLE TO CONTROL ! :OLE PROJECT4 ,AMONG O!R ?+S ?IS MEANT ?AT ,I C\LD MA9TA9 ! ,S,I'S ORIG9AL NONCOPYRI<T POLICY & ?AT ,I WAS ABLE TO KEEP ! PRICE D[N & S5D L>GE QUANTITIES ( FREE COPIES TO PRISON]S & TO 9DIG5T COMRADES 9 ,EA/ ,EUROPE & ! ,?IRD ,WORLD4 

,! PROJECT TOOK UP MO/ ( ! NEXT TWO YE>S4 ,?IS WAS JU/ BE=E ! ADV5T ( *EAP DESKTOP PUBLI%+2 ) PRES5T-DAY EQUIPM5T ,I C\LD HAVE SAV$ HUNDR$S ( H\RS & ?\S&S ( DOLL>S ON TYPESETT+1 9DEX+1 PA/EUP1 ETC4 ,BUT BELIEV+ ?AT !SE TEXTS >E ! MO/ IMPORTANT BODY ( SOCIAL CRITIQUE 9 ?IS C5TURY1 ,I WAS QUITE HAPPY TO DO :ATEV] WAS NECESS>Y TO PRES5T !M AS ACCURATELY AS POSSIBLE4 

,I DON'T BELIEVE !RE >E ANY SIGNIFICANT ]RORS 9 MY TRANSLATION1 ?\< ,I MI<T HAVE BE5 ABLE TO R5D] SOME ( ! PASSAGES A BIT MORE CLE>LY & IDIOMATICALLY 7AS ,I DID 9 ! NEW V]SION ( ! ,WATTS >TICLE ,I REC5TLY ISSU$74 ,A FEW PEOPLE HAVE QUE/ION$ MY DECISION TO ANGLICIZE D]IVE & DET\RNEM5T1 BUT ,I HAVE YET TO SEE ANY ALT]NATIVES ?AT >E NOT MORE CONFUS+4 7,ON ! O!R H&1 ,I N[ FEEL ?AT ! ONE O!R ,FR5* T]M ,I ANGLICIZ$1 RECUP]ATION1 CAN BE MO/ CLE>LY TRANSLAT$ BY 0COOPTION10 DESPITE ! SLI<TLY DIFF]5T CONNOTATIONS ( ! TWO WORDS47 

,AS HAPP5S ) ANY AN?OLOGY1 SOME READ]S DISAGRE$ ) ! *OICE ( >TICLES4 ,MI*EL ,PRIG5T1 :O SEEMS NEV] TO HAVE =GIV5 ME = HAV+ PO9T$ \T ?AT HIS [N TRANSLATIONS ( SITUATIONI/ TEXTS 7PUBLI%$ UND] ! NAMES ,PIRANHA & ,*RONOS7 >E CLUMSILY OV]LIT]AL1 ACCUS$ ME ( %AP+ ! SELECTION TO ACCORD ) MY [N 0IDEOLOGICAL P]SPECTIVES02 BUT ASIDE FROM APP>5TLY IMPLY+ ?AT ,I %\LD HAVE 9CLUD$ ONE OR TWO TEXTS ?AT HE HIMSELF HAD ALREADY TRANSLAT$1 ! ONLY ALT]NATIVE HE SUGGE/$ WAS A COMPLETE ,5GLI% $ITION ( ! ,FR5* J\RNALS4 ,I HOPE SOMEONE WILL EV5TUALLY PUBLI% SU* AN $ITION1 BUT ?IS W\LD HAVE TRIPL$ ! TIME & EXP5SE ( :AT WAS ALREADY A PRETTY OV]:ELM+ PROJECT4 

,A FEW O!R CRITICS CLAIM$ ?AT ,I 0CONCEAL$0 ! E>LI]1 MORE CULTURAL PHASE ( ! ,S,I4 ,! ,AN?OLOGY IS ADMITT$LY WEI<T$ SOME:AT T[>D ! SITUATIONI/S' LAT]1 MORE 0POLITICAL0 P]IOD 7)\T :I* NO ONE BUT A FEW SPECIALI/S 9 OBSCURE AVANT-G>DE MOVEM5TS W\LD HAVE EV] HE>D ( !M71 BUT ! MA9 FEATURES ( ! E>LI] PHASE C\LD H>DLY ESCAPE ANYONE :O READS ! FIR/ DOZ5 >TICLES ( ! BOOK4 ,I PROBABLY W\LD HAVE 9CLUD$ MORE SELECTIONS FROM ,POTLAT* & O!R PRE-,S,I MAT]IAL IF IT HAD BE5 AVAILABLE AT ! TIME2 BUT IF ,I DIDN'T GO 9TO ! SUBSEQU5T HI/ORY ( ! 0,NA%I/S0 & O!R >TI/IC T5D5CIES ?IS IS BECAUSE ,I ?9K !Y >E ( LITTLE 9T]E/ & HAVE LITTLE TO DO ) ! SITUATIONI/S' MO/ ORIG9AL & VITAL CONTRIBUTIONS4 ,S9CE ! BOOK'S APPE>ANCE !SE CRITICS HAVE HAD FIFTE5 YE>S TO PUBLI% ! VITAL TEXTS ,I SUPPOS$LY CONCEAL$2 SO F> :AT !Y HAVE COME UP ) HAS NOT BE5 OV]:ELM+4 

,O!R READ]S WI%$ !RE W]E MORE ANNOTATIONS EXPLA9+ OBSCURE REF]5CES4 ,ACTUALLY ! SUPPOS$ OBSCURITY ( SITUATIONI/ TEXTS IS GREATLY EXAGG]AT$4 ,!Y USUALLY ASSUME LITTLE MORE ?AN A M9IMAL ACQUA9TANCE ) A FEW BASIC WORKS & MAJOR HI/ORICAL EV5TS ?AT ANYONE ) A S]I\S DESIRE TO UND]/& & *ANGE ! WORLD %\LD C]TA9LY F9D \T AB\T = !MSELVES IF !Y DON'T ALREADY KN[ AB\T !M4 ,! CONTEXT USUALLY MAKES ! S5SE PRETTY CLE> EV5 IF Y\ >E NOT FAMILI>1 SAY1 ) SOME P>TICUL> ,EUROPEAN IDEOLOGUE BE+ D5\NC$1 JU/ AS Y\ CAN LE>N A LOT FROM ,M>X & ,5GELS )\T KN[+ ANY?+ AB\T ! P>TICUL> PHILOSOPH]S & ECONOMI/S !Y CRITICIZ$4 

,O!RS WI%$ ,I HAD 9CLUD$ SOME ( ! ORIG9AL ,S,I ILLU/RATIONS4 ,I LIKE !M AS MU* AS ANYONE4 ,BUT MANY ( ! BE/ ONES 7P>TICUL>LY ! DET\RN$ COMICS7 W]E ALREADY SO WIDELY REPR9T$ & IMITAT$ ?AT !Y W]E T5D+ TO DI/RACT FROM ! WRIT+S & RE9=CE ! POPUL> MISCONCEPTION ?AT SITUATIONI/ PUBLICATIONS CONSI/$ ( ZAPPY COLLAGES DESIGN$ TO BL[ PEOPLE'S M9DS4 ,I FELT ?AT IT W\LDN'T HURT ! IMAGE ADDICTS TO PAY ATT5TION TO ! SIMPLE UNADORN$ TEXTS = A *ANGE4 

,!RE W]E ALSO1 ( C\RSE1 MANY MORE COMM5TS AB\T ! TEXTS !MSELVES4 ,9 ! LA/ FEW YE>S BOOKS & >TICLES ON ! ,S,I HAVE BECOME EV5 MORE NUM]\S ?AN 9 ! IMM$IATE AFT]MA? ( ,MAY #a#i#f#h1 & ! ,S,I HAS BECOME MORE 9TRIGU+LY NOTORI\S ?AN EV]4 

,A LITTLE ( ! AURA HAS EV5 RUBB$ (F ON ME4 ,S9CE ! ORIG9AL ,S,I MEMB]S HAVE G5]ALLY REMA9$ UNAVAILABLE1 ,I HAVE SOMETIMES BE5 CONSID]$ ! NEXT BE/ ?+1 & HAVE BE5 ASK$ TO DO BOOKSIGN+S1 TO GRANT 9T]VIEWS1 TO GIVE TALKS1 TO BE VIDEOTAP$1 TO CONTRIBUTE TO V>I\S PUBLICATIONS1 TO PROVIDE 9=MATION = GRADUATE !SES1 TO TAKE P>T 9 RADICAL CONF]5CES & ACADEMIC SYMPOSIUMS1 TO BE A 0VISIT+ >TI/0 AT AN >T 9/ITUTE1 & EV5 TO FURNI% BACKGR\ND MAT]IAL = A TELEVISION PROGRAM4 ,I HAVE REFUS$ ALL !SE REQUE/S4 

,?IS ISN'T A MATT] ( RIGID PR9CIPLE4 ,SOM$AY1 IF ,I'M EV] 9 ! MOOD & AM GIV5 SUFFICI5TLY FREE CONDITIONS1 ,I MAY DECIDE TO DET\RN ONE ( !SE SITUATIONS1 AS ,DEBORD ONCE DID :5 HE GAVE A TALK AT A CONF]5CE ON 0EV]YDAY LIFE0 7SEE ,S,I ,AN?OLOGY1 PP4 #f#h-#g#e .<NEW $4 #i-#i#i.>7 .<,P]SPECTIVES = ,CONSCI\S ,*ANGES 9 ,EV]YDAY ,LIFE.> :I* AMONG O!R ?+S CRITICIZ$ ! 9H]5T LIMITS & BIASES ( SU* CONF]5CES4 ,BUT ON ! :OLE ,I ?9K PEOPLE >E FOOL+ !MSELVES IF !Y BELIEVE ?AT ! RADICAL EFFECT ( ?IS SORT ( PUBLICITY \TWEI<S ALL ! TRIVIALIZ+ & NEUTRALIZ+ EFFECTS 79CLUD+ ! SUBTLE TEMPTATIONS TO ACC5TUATE ONE'S [N TR5DY OR S5SATIONAL QUALITIES :ILE REFRA9+ FROM (F5D+ ANYONE1 9 ORD] TO 5SURE ?AT ONE WILL BE 9VIT$ AGA974 ,9 ANY CASE1 AL?\< ,I'M SOME:AT LESS RIGOR\S 9 !SE MATT]S ?AN WAS ! ,S,I1 :5 ,I AM ASK$ TO PRES5T OR REPRES5T 0! SITUATIONI/ P]SPECTIVE0 ,I FEEL ,I CONVEY ?AT P]SPECTIVE MO/ 9CISIVELY BY REFUS+ ! K9DS ( ?+S ! SITUATIONI/S !MSELVES CONSI/5TLY REFUS$4 

,ANYONE IS FREE TO REPR9T1 ADAPT OR COMM5T ON ! ,S,I ,AN?OLOGY OR ANY ( MY O!R PUBLICATIONS4 ,I CAN'T TAKE S]I\SLY ?OSE :O NEV] DO SO :ILE SEEK+ SOME P]SONAL 5C\NT] OR SCOOP DESIGN$ TO GIVE SPECTATORS ! IMPRESSION !Y HAVE GOTT5 SOME 9SIDE DOPE AB\T TEXTS !Y (T5 HAV5'T EV5 BO!R$ TO READ1 MU* LESS PUT 9TO PRACTICE4 ,IT SEEMS TO ME ?AT MA9TA9+ ?IS DI/ANCE PUTS ?+S ON ! CLE>E/ BASIS4 ,%ORTLY AFT] ! PUBLICATION ( ! ,AN?OLOGY1 = EXAMPLE1 A C]TA9 PR(ESSIONAL WRIT] WANT$ TO 9T]VIEW ME TO OBTA9 9=MATION = AN >TICLE HE HAD BE5 ASK$ TO WRITE ON ! SITUATIONI/S = ! WEEKLY ,EA/ ,BAY ,EXPRESS4 ,I REFUS$ TO HAVE ANY?+ TO DO ) HIM1 & ! PROJECT$ >TICLE NEV] APPE>$4 ,>\ND ! SAME TIME ,I ALSO REFUS$ TO MEET ,GREIL ,M>CUS :5 HE WAS PREP>+ A REVIEW ( ! ,AN?OLOGY = ! ,VILLAGE ,VOICE1 BUT TO HIS CR$IT HE DID NOT LET ?IS /OP HIM FROM WRIT+ A L5G?Y & V]Y LAUDATORY >TICLE4 ,!RE WAS1 AFT] ALL1 PL5TY ( 9=MATION 9 ! ,S,I TEXTS !MSELVES1 & BECAUSE HE READ !M C>EFULLY HE WAS ABLE TO GET MO/ ( HIS FACTS RI<T4 ,?\< LIMIT$ 9 SOME REG>DS1.<#d.> HIS >TICLE WAS AN HONE/ EXPRESSION ( HIS TAKE ON ! SITUATIONI/S1 DONE \T ( HIS [N 5?USIA/IC 9T]E/1 NOT BECAUSE SOMEONE ASSIGN$ HIM TO DO IT OR BECAUSE ,I SUCK$ UP TO HIM4 ,EV]Y?+ IS SO MU* CLE>] ?IS WAY4 

,BY ! E>LY #a#i#hS ,I HAD REE/ABLI%$ FRI5DLY RELATIONS ) MO/ ( ! O!R 0,NOTICE0 SIGN]S4 ,!Y HAD GONE !IR V>I\S WAYS &1 EXCEPT = ,*RIS & ,ISAAC1 :O HAD EA* PUT \T TWO OR ?REE PAMPHLETS 9 ! 9T]IM1 NONE ( !M HAD C>RI$ ON ANY NOTABLE RADICAL ACTIVITY S9CE \R #aigg BREAKUP4 ,9 #aihb ,ISAAC & HIS WIFE ,T]REL ,SELTZ] ALSO PUT \T ,CALL ,IT ,SLEEP1 A #d#e-M9UTE VIDEOTAPE R\<LY 9 ! /YLE ( ,DEBORD'S FILMS4 ,NOT LONG AFT]W>DS ,ISAAC R5\NC$ HIS PREVI\S RADICAL P]SPECTIVE1 JU/IFY+ HIS SUBSEQU5T DEVOTION TO PRIM>ILY F9ANCIAL PURSUITS ) :AT SEEMS TO BE A SORT ( NEO-LAISSEZ-FAIRE IDEOLOGY 9 A BIZ>RE BOOK HE COAU?OR$ ) ,PAUL ,BEL&1 ,MONEY3 ,MY?S & ,REALITIES 7#a#i#h#f74 

,I'VE MADE SOME CRITICISMS ( ,ISAAC BECAUSE HE EXPRESS$ VIEWPO9TS FROM :I* ,I FELT OBLIG$ TO DISSOCIATE MYSELF4 ,BUT ,I W\LD LIKE TO ACKN[L$GE MY DEBT TO HIM & TO MANY O!R =M] COMRADES4 ,WE W5T ?R\< A LOT ( EXCIT+ TIMES TOGE!R4 ,ALL ! POLEMICS HAVE T5D$ TO OV]EMPHASIZE ! PROBLEMS ( ! SITU MILIEU4 ,= ME1 AT ANY RATE1 ! V5TURES REC\NT$ H]E SO T]SELY CONTA9$ MANY VALU$ RELATION%IPS1 LOTS ( GOOD TIMES1 & AN IMM5SE AM\NT ( LAU<S2 EV5 ! FIASCOS W]E (T5 AMUS+4 ,I HOPE MY OLD FRI5DS HAV5'T 5TIRELY =GOTT5 !M4 

,ONCE ! ,S,I ,AN?OLOGY WAS PUBLI%$ ,I FELT LESS OBLIG$ TO DEVOTE SO MU* TIME & 5]GY TO EXPLA9+ ! SITUATIONI/ P]SPECTIVE1 CORRECT+ MISCONCEPTIONS1 ETC4 ,! MO/ SIGNIFICANT QUE/IONS W]E DEALT ) QUITE LUCIDLY BY ! SITUATIONI/S !MSELVES 9 ! TEXTS ?AT W]E N[ AVAILABLE4 ,OV] ! NEXT FEW YE>S1 AP>T FROM C>RY+ ON MORE OR LESS R\T9E CORRESPOND5CE & DI/RIBUTION & MAK+ OCCASIONAL NOTES1 ,I BEGAN TO EXPLORE O!R ?+S4 

,ROCK CLIMB+ 

,MY FIR/ NEW V5TURE TURN$ \T TO BE ROCK CLIMB+1 ONE ( ! LA/ ?+S ,I W\LD EV] HAVE IMAG9$ MYSELF GETT+ 9TO4 ,LIKE ALMO/ EV]YONE1 ,I WAS V]Y AFRAID ( HEI<TS2 BUT DUR+ REC5T \T+S ,I HAD BEGUN TO F9D MYSELF MORE & MORE 9TRIGU$ BY ! IDEA ( CLIMB+1 FEEL+ A SORT ( PRIMAL1 PRIMATE ALLURE :5EV] ,I SAW CLIFFS OR ROCK =MATIONS4 ,EV5TUALLY ,I SUPPRESS$ MY T]ROR & SIGN$ UP = A BEG9N+ ROCK CLIMB+ CLASS4 ,WE SP5T A C\PLE H\RS LE>N+ ! BASIC PR9CIPLES1 !N W5T TO SOME \TCROPS 9 ! ,B]KELEY ,HILLS & ACTUALLY CLIMB$4 ,A FEW WEEKS LAT] ,I TOOK A MORE ADVANC$ CLASS 9 ,YOSEMITE & DID MY FIR/ REALLY HI< CLIMBS ON ! GRANITE CLIFFS1 HUNDR$S ( FEET /RAI<T UP4 

,= ! NEXT TWO YE>S ROCK CLIMB+ WAS MY PASSION4 ,:5 POSSIBLE ,I W5T ON TRIPS 9 ,YOSEMITE & ELSE:]E 9 ! ,SI]RAS2 BUT MO/ ( ! TIME ,I CLIMB$ RI<T 9 T[N1 BIK+ SEV]AL TIMES A WEEK UP TO ,9DIAN ,ROCK = B\LD]+ 7PRACTIC+ DIFFICULT MOVES NE> ! GR\ND74 ,) ! RI<T K9D ( %OES 7MADE ) HI<-FRICTION RUBB] SOLES & WORN SUP]TI<T SO Y\R FOOT BECOMES ONE FIRM1 SCRUN*$-UP UNIT LIKE A M\NTA9 GOAT'S HO(7 IT'S AMAZ+ :AT MEAG] 9D5TATIONS 9 ! ROCK CAN ACCOMMODATE Y\R TOE OR F+] -- A PEA-SIZ$ BUMP WILL DO IF Y\ ORI5T Y\R BODY JU/ RI<T1 GAUG+ ! RI<T BALANCE ( OPPOS+ =CES1 MOV+ C>EFULLY BUT ) RELAX$ CONFID5CE 7IF Y\ TREMBLE Y\'RE MORE LIKELY TO SLIP74 

,IF Y\ PAY ATT5TION & USE ! ROPES PROP]LY1 ROCK CLIMB+ ISN'T AS DANG]\S AS IT MI<T SEEM4 ,/ILL1 !RE'S OBVI\SLY SOME RISK4 ,AT FIR/ ,I LOV$ IT SO MU* ?AT ,I FELT ! RISK WAS ACCEPTABLE2 BUT AFT] A C\PLE YE>S ,I DECID$ TO QUIT :ILE ,I WAS AHEAD4 ,9 ,ALD\S ,HUXLEY'S UTOPIAN NOVEL ,ISL& IT'S P>T ( ! $UCATION ( EV]Y ADOLESC5T TO HAVE AT LEA/ ONE PSY*$ELIC TRIP & ONE ROCK CLIMB+ TRIP 7?\< NOT AT ! SAME TIME674 ,CONSID]+ !IR RISKS ,I W\LD HESITATE TO RECOMM5D EI!R ONE UNRES]V$LY1 BUT BO? EXP]I5CES HAVE C]TA9LY MEANT A LOT TO ME4 

,I /ILL OCCASIONALLY DO A LITTLE B\LD]+ & HIK+ 7MO/ (T5 OV] ! HILLS1 ?R\< ! WOODS & ALONG ! BEA* AT NE>BY ,PO9T ,REYES71 BUT MY MA9 EX]CISE 9 REC5T YE>S HAS BE5 BASKETBALL & T5NIS4 ,PLAY+ BASKETBALL ) ! BLACK TE5AG]S 9 MY NEI<BORHOOD WAS AN 9T]E/+ CULTURAL AS WELL AS PHYSICAL *ALL5GE3 ,I FELT LIKE ,I HAD ACCOMPLI%$ SOME?+ :5 ,I F9ALLY BECAME ACCEPT$ AS MORE OR LESS ONE ( ! GUYS4 ,MORE REC5TLY ,I'VE %IFT$ TO T5NIS4 ,IT'S ALSO VIRTUALLY ! ONLY ?+ ,I EV] WAT* ON TELEVISION3 ,I LUG MY SET \T ( /ORAGE ?REE OR F\R TIMES A YE> = ,WIMBL$ON & O!R MAJOR T\RNAM5TS4 

,9 FALL #aihd ,I MADE ANO!R TRIP TO ,FRANCE1 /AY+ MO/ ( ! TIME 9 ,P>IS ) MY FRI5D ,*RI/IAN ,CAMUS4 ,WE HAD ORIG9ALLY MET 9 A SITU CONTEXT DUR+ MY PREVI\S TRIP1 BUT BY ?IS TIME HIS FOCUS HAD %IFT$ TO EXP]IM5T+ ) WAYS TO 5LIV5 HIS [N IMM$IATE MILIEU4 ,?AT'S F9E ) ME3 IF ,I HAVE TO *OOSE1 ,I PREF] 9TELLECTUALLY ALIVE PEOPLE :O DO 9T]E/+ ?+S ) !IR LIFE OV] ?OSE :O DO NO?+ BUT REGURGITATE POLITICAL PLATITUDES & GRIPE ALL ! TIME4 ,FULL ( PLAYFUL IRONY1 PROVOCATIVE BANT] & JOKES 9 SEV]AL LANGUAGES1 & POSSESS+ A KE5 9SI<T 9TO PEOPLE'S GAMES & SCRIPTS 79 ,]IC ,B]NE'S S5SE71 ,*RI/IAN KEEPS ME ON MY TOES :5 ,I />T BECOM+ TOO /ODGY & P$ANTIC4 

,!RE W]E TWO SIDE TRIPS3 TO ! ,DORDOGNE REGION 9 S\?WE/ ,FRANCE :]E ,JOEL & ,NAD9E W]E N[ LIV+1 & TO ,G]MANY TO REVISIT MY ,MANNHEIM FRI5DS & BRIEFLY MEET ANO!R GR\P 9 ,WE/ ,B]L94 

,REXRO? AGA9 

,BACK 9 ,B]KELEY ,I BEGAN WORK ON TWO ,REXRO? PROJECTS4 ,DUR+ ! E>LY SEV5TIES MY 9T]E/ 9 ,REXRO? HAD WAN$4 ,9 ! LI<T ( ! SITUATIONI/ P]SPECTIVES HIS POLITICAL ANALYSIS SEEM$ 9SUFFICI5T1 HIS NOTION ( SUBV]SION ?R\< >T & POETRY SEEM$ DUBI\S1 & SOME ( HIS ACTIVITIES1 SU* AS WRIT+ NEWSPAP] COLUMNS OR DABBL+ 9 ,CA?OLICISM1 SEEM$ UNACCEPTABLY COMPROMIS+4 

,9 LESS DIRECT WAYS1 H[EV]1 HIS 9FLU5CE P]SI/$4 ,RECALL+ HIS SKEPTICAL MAGNANIMITY HELP$ ME KEEP ?+S 9 P]SPECTIVE DUR+ SOME ( ! MORE TRAUMATIC SITU AFFAIRS4 ,9 MY #aigg RELIGION PAMPHLET ,I WAS ALREADY TRY+ TO FIGURE \T TO :AT EXT5T !SE TWO MAJOR 9FLU5CES ( MY LIFE C\LD BE RECONCIL$2 S9CE ?AT TIME1 MY 5?USIASM = HIM HAD FULLY REVIV$4 ,BESIDES R]EAD+ ALL HIS BOOKS1 ,I HUNT$ UP & PHOTOCOPI$ AS MANY ( HIS UNCOLLECT$ >TICLES AS ,I C\LD LOCATE 9 ! OLD MAGAZ9E FILES AT ! ,UNIV]SITY LIBR>Y1 9CLUD+ ALL ( ! #h"4 COLUMNS HE WROTE = ! ,SAN ,FRANCISCO ,EXAM9]4 

,ON A L>K1 ,I S5T \T A PROPOSAL TO $IT AN AN?OLOGY ( ! COLUMNS4 ,!RE WAS 5\< T5TATIVE 9T]E/ ON ! P>T ( A FEW PUBLI%]S ?AT ,I SP5T SEV]AL MON?S GO+ ?R\< ! COLUMNS 9 ORD] TO PREP>E A REPRES5TATIVE SAMPL+4 ,ULTIMATELY ONLY ONE SMALL PUBLI%] MADE AN (F]1 & IT WAS SO UNSATISFACTORY ?AT ,I REJECT$ IT & DECID$ TO PUT ! PROJECT ON ! %ELF4 ,I W\LD HAVE BE5 HAPPY TO PUT 9 A LOT ( TIME $IT+ ! COLUMNS = A MODE/ ROYALTY1 BUT ,I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE PUBLI%+ !M MYSELF4 

,IT HAD MEAN:ILE OCCURR$ TO ME ?AT IT WAS MORE TO ! PO9T TO EXPRESS MY [N P]SPECTIVE ON ,REXRO?1 TO TRY TO CONVEY JU/ :AT IT WAS ?AT ,I ?\<T WAS SO GREAT AB\T HIM AS WELL AS TO CL>IFY ! PO9TS :]E ,I DISAGRE$ ) HIM4 ,BESIDES HOPEFULLY TURN+ PEOPLE ON TO HIM1 ?IS W\LD BE A GOOD WAY = ME TO WORK \T MY [N VIEWS ON ALL SORTS ( TOPICS4 

,?IS PROJECT TURN$ \T TO OCCUPY ME ON & (F OV] ! NEXT FIVE YE>S4 ,I C\LD1 ( C\RSE1 HAVE WRITT5 MO/ ( :AT ,I HAD TO SAY 9 A MU* %ORT] P]IOD2 BUT S9CE ,I HAD NO DEADL9E ,I TOOK MY TIME & 9DULG$ MYSELF1 READ+ HIS WORKS OV] & OV]1 GLEAN+ FAVORITE QUOTES1 ACCUMULAT+ MASSES ( NOTES1 & FOLL[+ \T ALL SORTS ( TANG5TS4 ,IT MI<T OCCUR TO ME1 SAY1 ?AT IT W\LD BE 9T]E/+ TO COMP>E ,REXRO? ) O!R FREE:EEL+ WRIT]S SU* AS ,H4 ,L4 ,M5CK51 ,$MUND ,WILSON1 ,GEORGE ,ORWELL OR ,PAUL ,GOODMAN2 ?IS W\LD BE A GOOD EXCUSE TO R]EAD SEV]AL ( !IR BOOKS1 EV5 IF ,I 5D$ UP MAK+ LITTLE IF ANY USE ( !M 9 MY TEXT4 

,Z5 PRACTICE 

,9 #aihe ,I ALSO BEGAN A REGUL> ,Z5 PRACTICE4 ,OV] ! YE>S ,I HAD OCCASIONALLY DONE A LITTLE ZAZ5 AT HOME1 BUT ,I HAD SC>CELY TAK5 P>T 9 ANY =MAL GR\P PRACTICE S9CE ! SIXTIES4 ,AS ,I M5TION$ E>LI]1 9 ADDITION TO LAZ9ESS & 9VOLVEM5T 9 O!R ?+S1 ,I HAD RES]VATIONS AB\T SOME ( ! TRADITIONAL =MS4 ,AL?\< ,Z5 IS LESS DOGMATIC & MORE 9TELLECTUALLY SOPHI/ICAT$ ?AN MO/ RELIGIONS1 TRADITIONAL ,Z5 PRACTICE IS QUITE /RICT & =MAL4 ,I C\LD RECOGNIZE ! NE$ = C]TA9 =MS TO FACILITATE CONC5TRATION & SELF-DISCIPL9E1 BUT ,I WAS DUBI\S AB\T O!RS ?AT SEEM$ TO BE M]E VE/IGES ( ,ORI5TAL SOCIAL HI]>*Y4 ,I WAS QUITE AW>E ( ! DEPLORABLE ROLE RELIGION HAS PLAY$ 9 RE9=C+ ACQUIESC5CE 9 ! E/ABLI%$ ORD]1 & ( PEOPLE'S REM>KABLE CAPACITY = SELF-DECEPTION4.<#e.> 

,REXRO? US$ TO SAY1 0,RELIGION IS NOT SOME?+ Y\ BELIEVE1 IT'S SOME?+ Y\ DO40 ,I DON'T KN[ IF ?IS CAN JU/LY BE SAID ( ! MAJOR ,WE/]N RELIGIONS1 :I* V]Y EMPHATICALLY 9SI/ ON BELIEF 9 C]TA9 DOGMAS1 BUT IT'S AT LEA/ P>TIALLY TRUE ( SOME ( ! ,EA/]N ONES4 ,! ,EA/]N RELIGIONS PROBABLY CONTA9 AS MU* BULL%IT AS ! ,WE/]N ONES 7! MORE SUP]/ITI\S OR OBNOXI\S ASPECTS >E USUALLY DISCREETLY OMITT$ 9 ,WE/]N POPUL>IZATIONS71 BUT !Y DO T5D TO BE MORE TOL]ANT & ECUM5ICAL4 ,!IR MY?S >E (T5 EXPLICITLY PRES5T$ AS M]E SPIRITUAL METAPHORS & !RE IS RELATIVELY LITTLE 9SI/5CE ON BELIEFS4 ,Z5 9 P>TICUL> IS MORE A PRACTICE ?AN A BELIEF SY/EM4 ,V]BAL TEA*+S >E CONSID]$ MEAN+LESS UNLESS Y\ TE/ & ASSIMILATE !M = Y\RSELF4 ,! MO/ VITAL TEA*+S >E BY LIV+ EXAMPLE4 ,DESPITE AN ELEM5T ( GURU-DISCIPLE HI]>*Y 7:I* HAS BE5 CONSID]ABLY ATT5UAT$ AS ,Z5 HAS BE5 ADAPT$ 9 ! ,WE/71 ! EMPHASIS IS NOT ON WOR%IP ( SUP]IOR BE+S BUT ON ! PRACTICE ( M$ITATION & M9DFULNESS 9 ONE'S [N DAY-TO-DAY ACTIVITY4 

,9 MY ,REXRO? BOOK ,I IMPLI$ :]E ,I P]SONALLY DRAW ! L9E3 0,IT IS ONE ?+ TO PRACTICE SOME TYPE ( M$ITATION OR TAKE P>T 9 SOME RITUAL OR FE/IVAL ?AT EV]YONE UND]/&S IS SIMPLY AN >BITR>Y =M TO FOCUS ONE'S LIFE OR CELEBRATE COMMUNION2 IT IS ANO!R TO SEEM TO L5D CR$IBILITY TO REPUGNANT 9/ITUTIONS & TO SICK DOGMAS ?AT >E /ILL WIDELY BELIEV$40 ,I SUPPOSE ?IS IS MA9LY A MATT] ( TA/E4 ,I HAVE FRI5DS :O HAVE FEW] QUALMS ?AN ,I1 & O!RS :O W\LDN'T BE CAU<T DEAD TAK+ P>T 9 ANY =MAL RELIGI\S PRACTICE :ATSOEV]4 ,P]SONALLY ,I LIKE MO/ ( ! ,Z5 RITUALS1 ! SIL5CE1 ! BELLS1 ! 9C5SE1 ! NEAT ,JAPANESE-/YLE DECOR1 ! ULTRACONSID]ATE ETIQUETTE4 ,& PRACTIC+ ) A GR\P (F]S MANY ADVANTAGES 9 ! WAY ( 9/RUCTION1 CAM>AD]IE & MUTUAL 5C\RAGEM5T4 

,ANYWAY1 ,I WAS 9 A MOOD TO SUSP5D MY RELATIVELY MILD OBJECTIONS & TRY \T A MORE REGUL> PRACTICE4 ,! ,B]KELEY C5T] ,I HAD GONE TO 9 ! SIXTIES HAD QUIETLY C>RI$ ON ! ,SOTO ,Z5 PRACTICE BR\<T TO ,AM]ICA BY ,%UNRYU ,SUZUKI4.<#f.> ,! TEA*]1 ,MEL ,WEITSMAN1 ONE ( ,SUZUKI'S /UD5TS :OM ,I HAD KN[N 9 ! SIXTIES1 WAS BO? SOLID & L[-KEY1 & ! MEMB]S1 A V>I$ & G5]ALLY CONG5IAL ASSORTM5T ( LAYPEOPLE TRY+ TO 9TEGRATE ,Z5 PRACTICE 9TO !IR EV]YDAY LIVES1 SEEM$ TO HAVE KEPT !IR S5SE ( HUMOR & TO HAVE AVOID$ ANY EXCESSIVE CULTI%NESS4 ,& ,I DIDN'T EV5 HAVE TO GET UP E>LY3 !Y N[ HAD AFT]NOON AS WELL AS MORN+ SITT+S4 

,I />T$ GO+ = A =TY-M9UTE P]IOD ( ZAZ5 EV]Y WEEKDAY AFT]NOON4 

,9 ZAZ5 7SITT+ M$ITATION7 WE SIT CROSS-LEGG$ ON A FIRM CU%ION1 FAC+ A BLANK WALL4 ,! BELLY IS PU%$ SLI<TLY =W>D SO ?AT ! SP9E IS ]ECT & ! BODY IS /ABLY BALANC$ ON BUTTOCKS & KNEES4 ,M\? CLOS$4 ,EYES L[]$ BUT OP54 ,%\LD]S RELAX$4 ,H&S 9 LAP1 LEFT ON RI<T1 ?UMB TIPS LI<TLY T\*+4 ,IF SITT+ CROSS-LEGG$ IS TOO DIFFICULT O!R PO/URES1 SU* AS SITT+ OV] ONE'S HEELS OR EV5 SITT+ ON A *AIR1 >E OKAY AS LONG AS ! BACK IS /RAI<T2 BUT ! CROSS-LEGG$ LOTUS POSITION 7BO? FEET RE/+ ON OPPOSITE ?I<S7 OR SOME EASI] V>IATION !RE( 7ONE FOOT ON OPPOSITE ?I< OR CALF7 PROVIDES OPTIMUM GR\ND$NESS4 

,9 ,SOTO-/YLE ZAZ5 WE G5]ALLY CONC5TRATE ON MA9TA9+ \R PO/URE 7CON/ANTLY CORRECT+ ! T5D5CIES TO SLUMP OR TO T5SE UP7 & FOLL[+ \R BREA? -- BREA?+ FROM ! ABDOM5 & SIL5TLY C\NT+ EXHALATIONS3 0,O-N-N-N-E 4441 T-W-O-O-O 4440 ,IF Y\ GET TO T5 Y\ JU/ />T ALL OV] AGA94 ,! NUMB]S SIMPLY PROVIDE AN >BITR>Y NONEMOTIVE FOCUS TO HELP MA9TA9 CONC5TRATION4 ,! PO9T IS TO GET AS CLOSE AS Y\ CAN TO 0DO+ NO?+0 :ILE REMA9+ TOTALLY AL]T4 

,IT'S NOT AS EASY AS Y\ MI<T ?9K4 ,MO/ ( US HAVE DEVELOP$ A /RONG HABITUAL RESI/ANCE TO BE+ 9 ! PRES5T4 ,:AT USUALLY HAPP5S IS ?AT BY ! TIME Y\'VE GOT TO 0?REE0 OR 0F\R10 Y\'VE BECOME CAU<T UP 9 MEMORIES1 DAYDREAMS1 DESIRES1 WORRIES1 FE>S1 REGRETS4 ,?IS REPETITIVE CACOPHONY IS GO+ ON 9 \R M9DS MO/ ( ! TIME1 BUT 9 ZAZ5 Y\ BECOME MORE ACUTELY AW>E ( IT4 

,IT MAY COME AS QUITE A %OCK TO REALIZE H[ PETTY & COMPULSIVE Y\R USUAL ?\<TS & FEEL+S >E4 ,IT DID TO ME1 ANYWAY4 ,I C\LD SEE H[ ,*RI/IAN BELIEV]S GO+ ?R\< SIMIL> EXP]I5CES SAW !M AS A CONFIRMATION ( HUMANITY'S 9H]5T S9FULNESS1 LEAV+ !M NO WAY \T BUT FAI? 9 SOME SUP]NATURAL R$EMPTION4 ,BUDDHISM ADDRESSES !SE MATT]S MORE CALMLY1 TOL]ANTLY1 OBJECTIVELY1 )\T GETT+ SO CAU<T UP 9 FUTILE BREA/BEAT+4 ,TRY+ TO REPRESS ! 0MONKEY M9D0 ONLY /IRS UP MORE EMOTIONAL 5TANGLEM5T4 ,BUT IF Y\ JU/ SIT /ILL1 )\T ANY VALUE JUDGM5TS1 & KEEP COM+ BACK TO Y\R BREA?1 ! DI/URBANCES1 DEPRIV$ ( RE9=CEM5T1 WILL T5D TO SETTLE \T1 BECOME LESS EMOTIVE1 LESS SUBJECT TO COMPULSIVE HABITS & ASSOCIATIONS4 ,IT'S NOT A MATT] ( ELIM9AT+ ?\<TS OR EMOTIONS1 BUT ( CEAS+ TO CL+ TO !M -- CEAS+ TO CL+ EV5 TO Y\R S5SE ( PROGRESS 9 NOT CL++4 ,! MOM5T Y\ />T ?9K+3 0,AH6 ,N[ ,I'M F9ALLY GETT+ SOME:]E6 ,WON'T SO-&-SO BE IMPRESS$60 Y\'VE DRIFT$ AWAY FROM PRES5T AW>5ESS4 ,JU/ CALMLY NOTE ! FACT1 & />T AGA93 0,O-N-N-N-E 4441 T-W-O-O-O 4440 

,AFT] A C\PLE MON?S ( DAILY SITT+ ,I />T$ TAK+ P>T 9 ! MON?LY SES%9S3 ONE OR MORE DAYS ( 9T5SIVE ,Z5 PRACTICE1 PRIM>ILY ZAZ51 BUT ) O!R ACTIVITIES C>RI$ \T ) A SIMIL> EF=T TO FOCUS M9DFULLY ON JU/ :AT Y\ >E DO+4 ,A SES%9 TYPICALLY RUNS FROM #e3 9 ! MORN+ TO #i3 9 ! EV5+4 ,ZAZ5 IS 9 #d-M9UTE P]IODS1 ALT]NAT+ ) #a-M9UTE P]IODS ( K9H9 7ULTRASL[ WALK+ M$ITATION TO /RET* ! LEGS74 ,BEG9N+ & 5D ( P]IODS >E SIGNAL$ BY BELLS OR WOOD5 CLAPP]S4 ,NO TALK+ EXCEPT = M9IMAL NECESS>Y COMMUNICATION DUR+ WORK4 ,! PROC$URE ( S]V+ & EAT+1 :I* ALSO TAKES PLACE 9 ! Z5DO 7M$ITATION HALL71 IS ELABORATELY RITUALI/IC4 ,S]V]S BR+ A DI%1 Y\ B[ TO EA* O!R1 !Y S]VE Y\1 Y\ MAKE A PALM-UP GE/URE TO 9DICATE 05\<10 Y\ B[ TO EA* O!R AGA91 !N !Y PROCE$ TO ! NEXT P]SON444 

,I P>TICUL>LY LIK$ ! LONG] SES%9S 7FIVE OR SEV5 DAYS74 ,! FIR/ DAY ( A SES%9 Y\ MAY /ILL BE PREOCCUPI$ ) Y\R O!R AFFAIRS1 BUT AFT] ?REE OR F\R DAYS Y\ CAN H>DLY HELP SETTL+ 9TO ! SES%9 RHY?M4 ,!Y SAY !RE >E TWO K9DS ( ,Z5 EXP]I5CE4 ,ONE IS SUDD5 & UNMI/AKABLE1 LIKE GETT+ A BUCKET ( WAT] DUMP$ ON Y\R HEAD4 ,! O!R IS MORE GRADUAL & SUBTLE1 LIKE WALK+ ?R\< A MI/ & !N NOTIC+ ?AT Y\R CLO!S HAVE IMP]CEPTIBLY BECOME SOAK+ WET4 ,?AT'S SORT ( :AT Y\ FEEL LIKE 9 ! LAT] /AGES ( A SES%94 ,IT ALL />TS COM+ TOGE!R4 

,IT CAN ALSO BE PRETTY GRUEL+1 ) FATIGUE1 /IFF %\LD]S1 A*+ BACK1 SORE KNEES4 ,?\< IT BECOMES EASI] AS ! BODY GETS US$ TO ! CROSS-LEGG$ POSITION1 MO/ PEOPLE CONT9UE TO EXP]I5CE SOME KNEE PA9 DUR+ SES%9S4 ,! PO9T ISN'T TO SEE H[ MU* PA9 Y\ CAN /& 7IF IT'S REALLY TOO MU*1 Y\ CAN ALWAYS %IFT TO SOME EASI] POSITION71 BUT TO LE>N TO DEAL ) :ATEV] COMES ) EQUANIMITY2 TO /OP YE>N+ = ! PA/ OR ! FUTURE & SETTLE RI<T 9 ! MOM5T4 ,AFT] A :ILE Y\ DISCOV] ?AT SUFF]+ IS CAUS$ LESS BY PA9 ITSELF ?AN BY CR++ APPREH5SION ( FUTURE PA94 ,! FIR/ DAY ( A SES%9 CAN BE HORRIFY+ IF Y\'RE SITT+ !RE ?9K+ ?AT Y\ HAVE SEV5 MORE DAYS ( ?IS TO 5DURE4 ,BUT IF Y\ TAKE IT JU/ ONE BREA? AT A TIME1 IT'S NOT SO BAD4 

7,?IS IS :]E ONE ( ! GREATE/ ADVANTAGES ( PRACTIC+ ) A GR\P COMES 94 ,:5 Y\'RE SITT+ ALONE IT'S TOO EASY TO RATIONALIZE /OPP+ :5 Y\ FEEL A LITTLE DISCOM=T2 BUT :5 SEV]AL P>TICIPANTS HAVE COMMITT$ !MSELVES TO A SES%9 & >E ALL SITT+ !RE TOGE!R1 EA* P]SON'S EF=T 5C\RAGES EV]YONE ELSE47 

,AS SOON AS Y\ BEG9 TO GET ACCU/OM$ TO ! ZAZ51 O!R RESPONSIBILITIES >E ?RU/ UPON Y\ :I* REQUIRE EQUAL M9DFULNESS4 ,IF Y\'RE A S]V] Y\R M9D MU/N'T W&] OR Y\ MI<T SPILL S\P ON SOMEONE4 ,IF Y\ HEAD UP A DI%WA%+ TEAM CONSI/+ ( PEOPLE :O >5'T FAMILI> ) ! PROC$URES1 Y\ NE$ TO MAKE SURE DI%ES >E PUT AWAY 9 ! RI<T PLACES1 YET Y\ DON'T WANT TO DI/URB PEOPLE'S EF=TS TO CONC5TRATE BY YAKK+ AWAY AB\T EV]Y DETAIL4 ,EA* SITUATION PRES5TS NEW *ALL5GES TO F9D ! RI<T BALANCE BETWE5 EFFICI5CY & PRES5CE1 CALCULATION & SPONTANEITY1 EF=T & EASE4 

,HOPEFULLY SOME ( !SE HABITS GRADUALLY BECOME 9TEGRAT$ 9TO Y\R EV]YDAY LIFE4 ,I DON'T WANT TO GIVE ! IMPRESSION ?AT ZAZ5 IS A CURE-ALL1 BUT ,I DO ?9K ?AT SOME SORT ( REGUL> M$ITATION HELPS ONE TO DEVELOP A LITTLE MORE PATI5CE & S5SE ( P]SPECTIVE2 TO RECOGNIZE C]TA9 PROBLEMS AS UNIMPORTANT OR ILLUSORY1 & TO DEAL MORE CALMLY & OBJECTIVELY ) ?OSE ?AT /ILL SEEM SIGNIFICANT4 

,AFT] A YE> & A HALF ( 9T5SIVE DAY-TO-DAY 9VOLVEM5T ) ! C5T] ,I GOT A BIT BURN$ \T1 & REV]T$ TO DO+ MY DAILY ZAZ5 AT HOME4 ,I CONT9U$1 H[EV]1 TO TAKE P>T 9 ! LONG] SES%9S4 ,I ALSO />T$ GO+ TO SES%9S AT SOME ( ! O!R C5T]S 9 NOR!RN ,CALI=NIA1 9CLUD+ ONE ?AT ,G>Y ,SNYD] & O!RS 79CLUD+ AN OLD FRI5D ( ,SAM'S & M9E FROM ! SIXTIES7 HAD REC5TLY BUILT ON !IR L& 9 ! ,SI]RA ,NEVADA FOO?ILLS4 ,AS MI<T BE EXPECT$1 !Y HAVE A /RONG BACK-TO-NATURE ORI5TATION3 SOME ( !IR SES%9S >E COMB9$ ) SEV5-DAY BACKPACK+ TRIPS -- AN >DU\S BUT P[]FUL COMB9ATION6 

,9 E>LY #aihh ,I />T$ ?9K+ AB\T TAK+ P>T 9 AN 9T5SIVE ?REE-MON? 0PRACTICE P]IOD0 AT ! ,TASSAJ>A MONA/]Y4 ,= YE>S ,I HAD VAGUELY IMAG9$ ?AT GO+ TO A ,Z5 MONA/]Y W\LD BE ONE ( ! ULTIMATE ?+S TO DO2 N[ ,I BEGAN TO ?9K ,I MI<T ACTUALLY DO IT4 ,9 ! SPR+ ,I W5T TO ,TASSAJ>A = A WEEK JU/ TO SEE :AT IT FELT LIKE1 & LIK$ IT V]Y MU* 9DE$4 ,BACK 9 ! ,BAY ,>EA ,I TOOK P>T 9 A FEW MORE SES%9S1 >RANG$ MY AFFAIRS1 & 9 LATE ,SEPTEMB] PACK$ UP & DROVE BACK D[N4 

,! FIR/ ,Z5 MONA/]Y 9 ! ,WE/]N HEMISPH]E 7F\ND$ 9 #aifg BY ,%UNRYU ,SUZUKI71 ,TASSAJ>A IS LOCAT$ 9 ! COA/AL M\NTA9S AB\T A HUNDR$ MILES S\? ( ! ,BAY ,>EA4 ,IT US$ TO BE A HOT SPR+S RESORT1 & /ILL FUNCTIONS AS SU* 9 ! SUMM]2 BUT DUR+ ! RE/ ( ! YE> IT'S CLOS$ TO ! PUBLIC4 

,BESIDES ,MEL1 :O L$ ! PRACTICE P]IOD1 !RE W]E #bf P>TICIPANTS 7#a#d M5 & #ab WOM57 PLUS TWO /AFF PEOPLE :O TOOK C>E ( TE*NICAL MA9T5ANCE WORK & %OPP+ TRIPS TO T[N4 ,DUR+ ! NEXT ?REE MON?S NONE ( US LEFT ,TASSAJ>A & NO ONE ELSE CAME !RE EXCEPT A C\PLE VISIT+ ,JAPANESE MONKS & TWO OR ?REE ,Z5 ,C5T] PEOPLE BRIEFLY D[N FROM ,SAN ,FRANCISCO4 

,ELEV5 ( US W]E !RE = \R FIR/ PRACTICE P]IOD & HAD TO GO ?R\< A FIVE-DAY 9ITIATION3 A SUP]9T5SIVE SES%9 ) EV5 LESS PHYSICAL & M5TAL RELIEF FROM ZAZ5 7NO K9H91 NO LECTURES1 NO WORK74 ,EXCEPT = A HALF-H\R BREAK AFT] EA* MEAL & BA?ROOM BREAKS AS NE$$1 WE HAD TO REMA9 SEAT$ ON \R CU%IONS FROM #d3#b A4M4 TO #i3 P4M4 

,EV5 MORE ?AN 9 A SES%91 EV]Y?+ LEVELS \T4 ,TIME SL[S4 ,ATT5TION IS R$UC$ TO ! SIMPLE/ ?+S4 ,NO?+ TO DO BUT /EW 9 Y\R [N JUICES 7LIT]ALLY AS WELL AS FIGURATIVELY3 IT'S SWELT]+7 & LE>N TO CALMLY IGNORE ! REL5TLESS LITTLE MUC\S FLIES ?AT DELI<T 9 CRAWL+ >\ND Y\R EYES1 E>S & NO/RILS4 7,! ONLY SOLUTION IS TO ACCEPT !M3 0,OKAY1 Y\ LITTLE RASCALS1 DO :AT Y\ MU/6 ,I'M NOT MOV+407 ,JU/ SIT1 P]FECTLY /ILL1 BREA? AFT] BREA?444 ,! BELL R+S4 ,SL[LY GET UP1 KEEP+ EYES L[]$4 ,COME TOGE!R = A RITUAL4 ,!N BACK TO Y\R CU%ION = A MEAL4 ,!N A BREAK4 ,SL[LY EXIT ! Z5DO1 /RIV+ TO MA9TA9 COMPLETE CONC5TRATION DESPITE ! SUDD5 SPL5DOR ( ! NATURAL WORLD \TSIDE4 ,HAVE A CUP ( TEA4 ,MASSAGE Y\R A*+ LEGS4 ,A FEW PRECI\S M9UTES >E LEFT = SITT+ BY ! CREEK & LETT+ ! S\ND ( ! WAT] P\R ?R\< Y\R HEAD4 ,!N BACK TO ! Z5DO4 ,SETTLE 9TO ! RI<T PO/URE4 ,BECOME P]FECTLY /ILL4 ,JU/ ?IS BREA?1 BREA? AFT] BREA?444 

,AFT] IT WAS OV]1 WE REV]T$ TO A SOME:AT LESS 9T5SE S*$ULE4 ,EV]Y MORN+ AT #d3 WE W]E AWAK5$ BY SOMEONE RUNN+ D[N ! MA9 PA? JANGL+ A L\D BELL4 ,JU/ TIME TO WA% MY FACE1 DO A FEW YOGA /RET*ES1 PUT ON MY M$ITATION ROBE & GO TO ! Z5DO4 ,! MORN+ WAS LIKE A SES%93 MO/LY ZAZ51 ) BREAKFA/ & LUN* S]V$ RITUAL-/YLE 9 ! Z5DO4 ,9 ! AFT]NOON WE WORK$ = ?REE H\RS4 ,I WAS P>T ( ! MISCELLANE\S CONT+5T & DID ALL SORTS ( DIFF]5T JOBS -- C>P5TRY1 HAUL+1 G>D5+1 DI%WA%+1 CLEAN+1 TAK+ C>E ( ! LIBR>Y4 ,AFT] WORK CAME ! MO/ LUXURI\S P>T ( ! DAY3 A LEISURELY HOT BA? FOLL[$ BY AN H\R ( FREE TIME4 ,!N BACK ON ) \R ROBES & TO ! Z5DO = D9N]4 ,!N A /UDY P]IOD1 !N MORE ZAZ54 ,TO B$ AT #i3#c4 ,!RE WAS NEV] ANY TR\BLE GETT+ TO SLEEP3 ! NEXT ?+ ,I HE>D WAS ?AT JANGL+ WAKEUP BELL444 

,EV]Y FIF? DAY WE GOT TO SLEEP TILL ! 9DULG5TLY LATE H\R ( #e31 & AFT] ONE P]IOD ( ZAZ5 & BREAKFA/ WE HAD FREE TIME UNTIL EV5+4 ,?IS WAS G5]ALLY SP5T DO+ LAUNDRY1 PACK+ A SACK LUN* & TAK+ A HIKE1 OR SITT+ >\ND READ+1 WRIT+ LETT]S OR QUIETLY SOCIALIZ+4 ,9 ! EV5+ WE HAD A CLASS ON ,DOG5'S 0,G5JO ,KOAN03 0,TO /UDY ! ,BUDDHA WAY IS TO /UDY ! SELF4 ,TO /UDY ! SELF IS TO =GET ! SELF4 ,TO =GET ! SELF IS TO BE ACTUALIZ$ BY ! MYRIAD ?+S4 ,:5 ACTUALIZ$ BY ! MYRIAD ?+S1 Y\R BODY & M9D AS WELL AS ! BODIES & M9DS ( O!RS DROP AWAY4 ,NO TRACE ( REALIZATION REMA9S1 & ?IS NO-TRACE IS CONT9U$ 5DLESSLY4440 

,)9 A FEW WEEKS ! WEA!R TURN$ FRIGID4 ,%AD$ BY ! SURR\ND+ M\NTA9S1 ,TASSAJ>A BECOMES COLD & DAMP 9 FALL & W9T]1 AT LEA/ UNTIL MIDDAY1 & !RE WAS NO HEAT+ OR 9SULATION4 ,AT LEA/ ! COLD HELP$ US WAKE UP4 ,?\< ! R\T9E WAS ,SP>TAN 9 SOME WAYS1 IT WAS REFRE%+ TO GET D[N TO BASICS & LIVE 9 A COMMUNITY 9 :I* EV]YONE WAS QUIETLY WORK+ TOGE!R4 ,= ME A SES%9 OR A PRACTICE P]IOD IS A H9T ( H[ LIFE C\LD BE4 ,UPON MEET+ ANYONE ON A PA? WE BO? /OPP$1 B[$ TO EA* O!R1 !N CONT9U$ ON \R WAY )\T SAY+ A WORD4 ,WOND]FUL6 

,READ+1 WRIT+1 TRANSLAT+ & MUSIC 

,BACK 9 ,B]KELEY1 ,I RESUM$ :AT HAS BE5 MY ONGO+ ,Z5 PRACTICE EV] S9CE 7BRIEF DAILY ZAZ5 AT HOME PLUS LONG SES%9S A FEW TIMES A YE>7 & GOT BACK TO WORK ON MY ,REXRO? BOOK .<,! ,RELEVANCE ( ,REXRO?.>4 ,I HAD ACCUMULAT$ HUNDR$S ( PAGES ( NOTES1 BUT EV5TUALLY ,I DECID$ TO LEAVE MO/ ( !M \T & P>E ! TEXT D[N TO A BRIEF & RELATIVELY ACCESSIBLE PRES5TATION ( A FEW MA9 !MES4 ,IT WAS F9ALLY COMPLET$ 9 #a#i#i4 ,SALES HAVE BE5 PRETTY MODE/1 BUT 7ONE ( ! ADVANTAGES ( SELF-PUBLI%+7 ,I'VE ALSO BE5 ABLE TO GIVE COPIES TO HUNDR$S ( FRI5DS & ACQUA9TANCES1 SOMETIMES EV5 TO TOTAL /RANG]S4 ,I'LL CONT9UE TO DO SO ) ! NUM]\S COPIES ,I /ILL HAVE ON H&1 BUT ,I'VE ALSO 9CLUD$ IT 9 ?IS COLLECTION .<! BOOK ,PUBLIC ,SECRETS.> BECAUSE IT GOES 9TO A LOT ( MATT]S ?AT >E IMPORTANT TO ME BUT ?AT >5'T DEALT ) 9 MY O!R WRIT+S4 

,9 ,JANU>Y #aiia ! ,GULF W> BR\<T HUNDR$S ( ?\S&S ( PEOPLE 9TO ! /REETS = ! FIR/ TIME 9 YE>S4 ,I IMM$IATELY />T$ WRIT+ ,! ,W> & ! ,SPECTACLE4 ,MO/ ( ! PO9TS 9 ?AT TEXT W]E ALREADY BE+ WIDELY DISCUSS$ OR 9TUIT$1 BUT ,I FELT ?AT ! SITUATIONI/ CONCEPT ( ! SPECTACLE W\LD HELP TIE !M TOGE!R4 ,) A LITTLE HELP FROM SOME FRI5DS ,I DI/RIBUT$ #a#e1 COPIES OV] ! NEXT FEW MON?S4 ,BESIDES MAIL+ !M TO 9DIVIDUALS1 GR\PS & RADICAL BOOK/ORES >\ND ! WORLD1 ,I SATURAT$ ! LOCAL ANTIW> MILIEU1 H&+ !M \T AT M>*ES1 RALLIES1 DEMON/RATIONS1 FILMS1 CONC]T B5EFITS1 RADICAL !AT] P]=MANCES 9 ! P>KS1 =UMS ON 0! W> & ! M$IA10 & APPE>ANCES ( ,RAMSEY ,CL>K & ,?I* ,NHAT ,HANH4 ,IT WAS ! MO/ WELL RECEIV$ TEXT ,I'VE EV] DONE4 ,NE>LY EV]YONE :O GOT IT READ IT1 NO ONE COMPLA9$ ?AT !Y C\LDN'T UND]/& IT1 MANY PEOPLE LAT] TOLD ME ?AT !Y HAD PHOTOCOPI$ IT & S5T IT TO FRI5DS OR 5T]$ IT ONTO COMPUT] NETWORKS1 & IT WAS WIDELY REPR9T$ & TRANSLAT$4 

,ONE ( ! FEW CRITICS ( ! PIECE EXPRESS$ SURPRISE ?AT ,I TOOK OV] TWO MON?S TO WRITE SU* A %ORT >TICLE4 ,I 5VY PEOPLE :O CAN WORK FA/]1 BUT = ME ?AT'S AB\T P> = ! C\RSE4 ,I DO WRITE A LOT -- NOT+ ANY?+ ?AT HAS ANY CONCEIVABLE CONNECTION ) :ATEV] TOPIC ,I'M WORK+ ON1 SOMETIMES VIRTUALLY FREE-ASSOCIAT+ -- BUT ,I'M NOT USUALLY SATISFI$ TILL ,I'VE DRA/ICALLY COND5S$ ! MAT]IAL1 GO+ OV] EV]Y DETAIL NUM]\S TIMES1 ELIM9AT+ R$UNDANCIES & EXAGG]ATIONS1 EXP]IM5T+ ) DIFF]5T RE>RANGEM5TS1 CONSID]+ POT5TIAL OBJECTIONS & MISCONCEPTIONS4 ,I FEEL ?AT ONE C>EFULLY CONSID]$ TEXT WILL HAVE A %>P] & ULTIMATELY MORE F>-REA*+ IMPACT ?AN A DOZ5 SLIP%OD ONES4 

,S9CE ,I ONLY TACKLE SUBJECTS ?AT ,I'M REALLY 9T]E/$ 91 ! PROCESS IS USUALLY PRETTY 5GROSS+4 ,SOMETIMES ,I GET 9TO ! EC/ATIC 0NEGATIVE RU%0 /ATE DESCRIB$ 9 ,D\BLE-,REFLECTION -- SO MANY IDEAS FLOOD ?R\< MY M9D ,I H>DLY HAVE TIME TO WRITE !M ALL D[N2 \T WALK+1 ,I MAY HAVE TO /OP EV]Y FEW M9UTES TO JOT D[N SOME IDEA2 ,I MAY EV5 GET UP 9 ! MIDDLE ( ! NI<T TO SCRIBBLE NOTES TO MYSELF4 ,SOMETIMES ,I GET SO 9VOLV$ ?AT IF ,I FAC$ IMM95T DEA? MY FIR/ CONC]N W\LD BE3 ,JU/ LET ME F9I% ?IS PIECE1 !N ,I'LL GO HAPPILY6 

,AT O!R TIMES ,I GET BURN$ \T & DEPRESS$2 EV]Y?+ ,I'VE WRITT5 SEEMS BOR+ & TRITE4 ,I MAY WORK ALL DAY ON SOME PASSAGE1 LIE AWAKE ?9K+ AB\T IT ?AT NI<T1 !N ?R[ ! :OLE ?+ \T 9 DISGU/ ! NEXT MORN+4 ,AS ,I GET CLOS] TO PUBLICATION ,I AGONIZE OV] POSSIBLE CONSEQU5CES4 ,A POORLY EXPRESS$ PO9T MI<T LEAD TO A LOT ( TIME WA/$ 9 MISUND]/&+S2 A WELL-EXPRESS$ ONE MI<T TRIGG] A TURN+ PO9T 9 SOMEONE'S LIFE4 

,WE ALL HAVE A NATURAL T5D5CY TO REPRESS ?+S ?AT CONTRADICT \R [N VIEWS4 ,! BE/ WAY ,I KN[ TO MITIGATE ?IS T5D5CY IS ! ONE ,D>W9 US$3 0,I HAD1 DUR+ MANY YE>S1 FOLL[$ A GOLD5 RULE1 NAMELY1 ?AT :5EV] A PUBLI%$ FACT1 A NEW OBS]VATION OR ?\<T1 CAME ACROSS ME :I* WAS OPPOS$ TO MY G5]AL RESULTS1 TO MAKE A MEMOR&UM ( IT )\T FAIL & AT ONCE2 = ,I HAD F\ND BY EXP]I5CE ?AT SU* FACTS & ?\<TS W]E F> MORE APT TO ESCAPE FROM ! MEMORY ?AN FAVORABLE ONES40 ,I TRY TO FOLL[ ?IS RULE1 PLAY+ DEVIL'S ADVOCATE ON EV]Y ISSUE1 C>EFULLY CONSID]+ ANY CRITIQUES ( MYSELF & IMM$IATELY NOT+ ANY?+ ?AT OCCURS TO ME 9 ! WAY ( POSSIBLE OBJECTIONS TO MY IDEAS -- ANSW]+ !M IF ,I CAN1 MODIFY+ OR AB&ON+ MY POSITION IF ,I CAN'T4 ,EV5 ! MO/ DELIRI\S ATTACKS USUALLY CONTA9 SOME VALID PO9TS1 OR AT LEA/ REVEAL MISCONCEPTIONS ?AT ,I NE$ TO CL>IFY4 

,IT'S NECESS>Y TO /RIKE A PSY*OLOGICAL BALANCE4 ,TOO MU* WORRY AB\T POSSIBLE OBJECTIONS MAKES Y\ AFRAID TO DO ANY?+4 ,OR?ODOX SITUATIONI/S SCORN MY MY/ICISM1 ,NEW ,AGEI/S FEEL ,I'M TOO RATIONALI/IC1 OLD LEFTI/S D5\NCE ME = D[NPLAY+ CLASS /RUGGLE1 >BIT]S ( POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IMPLY ?AT ,I %\LD EXPRESS MORE CONTRITION = BE+ A :ITE ,AM]ICAN MALE1 ACADEMICS FAULT MY LACK ( S*OL>LY OBJECTIVITY1 HANGLOOSE TYPES F9D ME TOO METICUL\S1 SOME COMPLA9 ?AT MY WRIT+ IS TOO DIFFICULT1 O!RS ACCUSE ME ( OV]SIMPLIFY+444 ,IF ,I TOOK ALL !SE OBJECTIONS TOO S]I\SLY1 ,I'D BECOME A CATATONIC6 ,EV5TUALLY Y\ JU/ HAVE TO GO = IT4 

,AS F> AS POSSIBLE ,I TRY TO MAKE EA* PROJECT A NEW V5TURE1 *OOS+ A TOPIC ,I HAV5'T EXPLOR$ OR A ME?OD ,I HAV5'T TRI$ BE=E4 ,?IS MAKES IT MORE 9T]E/+ = ME AT LEA/1 & HOPEFULLY = ! READ] AS WELL4 ,I ALSO TRY TO AVOID TAK+ ON TOO MANY ?+S AT ONCE4 ,IT'S EASY TO GET BURN$ \T IF Y\ CON/ANTLY ABSORB ALL ! BAD NEWS ( ! WORLD OR TRY TO CONTRIBUTE TO EV]Y GOOD CAUSE4 ,I G5]ALLY CONC5TRATE ON ONE OR TWO PROJECTS ?AT 9T]E/ ME SO DEEPLY ?AT ,I'M WILL+ TO DEVOTE TO !M :ATEV] TIME & EXP5SE IS NECESS>Y1 :ILE IGNOR+ MO/ O!R ?+S ?AT ,I HAVE NO REAL 9T5TION ( DO+ ANY?+ AB\T4 

,BACK TO ,FRANCE 9 FALL #a#i#i#a1 ONCE AGA9 /AY+ ) ,*RI/IAN 79 A H\SEHOLD ) HIS GIRLFRI5D & HIS BRO!R74 ,!RE W]E ?REE SIDE TRIPS3 TO ,GR5OBLE TO VISIT ,JEAN-,FRANCOIS ,LABRUG]E1 A FRI5D :O HAS TRANSLAT$ SEV]AL ( MY TEXTS ) AN EXEMPL>Y METICUL\SNESS2 TO ,W>SAW TO MEET SOME Y\NG AN>*I/S :O W]E JU/ DISCOV]+ ! SITUATIONI/S2 & TO ,B>CELONA1 :]E ,I JO9$ SOME ( MY ,G]MAN FRI5DS4 ,ON ! WAY BACK TO ,P>IS ,I /OPP$ 9 ! ,DORDOGNE REGION TO SEE ,JOEL & ,NAD9E4 ,I HAD TURN$ !M ON TO ,REXRO? YE>S BE=E1 & !Y HAD EV5TUALLY BECOME AS 5?USIA/IC ,REXRO?IANS AS ,I & HAD REC5TLY COMPLET$ A TRANSLATION ( ! FIR/ ( HIS BOOKS TO APPE> 9 ,FR5*1 ,LES ,CLASSIQUES REVISITES4 

,I SP5T A LOT ( MY TIME 9 ,P>IS EXPLOR+ MY BIGGE/ MUSICAL 5?USIASM ( ! LA/ FEW YE>S1 V9TAGE ,FR5* POPUL> SONGS -- SC\R+ ! FLEA M>KETS & US$ RECORD /ORES = OLD ALBUMS1 TAP+ MY FRI5DS' COLLECTIONS1 & TRY+ TO DECIPH] ! MORE OBSCURE1 SLANGY LYRICS4 ,IT'S A RI*1 FASC9AT+ WORLD1 FROM N9ETE5?-C5TURY CAB>ET S+]S LIKE ,>I/IDE ,BRUANT 7! GUY ) R$ SC>F & BLACK CAPE PICTUR$ ON ! WELL-KN[N ,T\L\SE-,LAUTREC PO/]1 :I* WAS COMMISSION$ TO ADV]TISE ! CAFE :]E ,BRUANT P]=M$ HIS [N SONGS71 ?R\< ! TRAGIC-SORDID *ANSONS REALI/ES 7,FREHEL1 ,DAMIA1 E>LY ,PIAF7 & UPBEAT MUSIC HALL >TI/S 7ESPECIALLY ! DELI<TFULLY ZANY ,*>LES ,TR5ET7 ( ! #a#i#cS1 TO ! PO/-,WORLD ,W> ,I,I R5AISSANCE ( GREAT POET-S+]S3 ,GEORGES ,BRASS5S 7! GREATE/1 RANG+ FROM WORLDLY-WISE ELEGIES TO \TRAGE\S SATIRICAL HUMOR71 ,ANNE ,SYLVE/RE 7A LOVELY LYRICI/1 SOME:AT REM9ISC5T ( E>LY ,LEON>D ,COH5 OR ,JONI ,MIT*ELL71 ,LEO ,F]RE1 ,JEAN-,ROG] ,CAUSSIMON1 ,JACQUES ,BREL1 ,GUY ,BE>T1 ,FELIX ,LECL]C2 ALONG ) MANY EXCELL5T 9T]PRET]S ( E>LI] MAT]IAL1 ( :OM MY FAVORITE IS ,G]MA9E ,MONT]O4 

,IT'S H>D TO F9D SU* MUSIC H]E 9 ! ,/ATES1 BUT MY FRI5DS & ,I OCCASIONALLY GET A LITTLE TA/E :5 ! ,BAGUETTE ,QU>TET P]=MS AT ! LOCAL ,FREI<T & ,SALVAGE FOLK MUSIC CLUB1 :I* HAS HO/$ SO MANY WOND]FUL MUSICIANS OV] ! LA/ ?REE DECADES4 ,AL?\< ,I'VE GONE ?R\< A NUMB] ( MUSICAL 5?USIASMS OV] ! YE>S1 FROM ! ELEM5TAL S\NDS ( ,JAPANESE TAIKO DRUM 5SEMBLES TO ! H>D-BOIL$ REBETIKA SONGS ( ! ,GREEK URBAN UND]WORLD1 ,I'VE ALWAYS RETA9$ A SPECIAL FONDNESS = OLD-TIME ,AM]ICAN FOLK MUSIC1 PROBABLY BECAUSE IT'S ! ONLY K9D ,I CAN ALSO PLAY4 ,I /ILL 5JOY DO+ SO ) SMALL GA!R+S ( FRI5DS 79CLUD+ A FEW :O DATE FROM MY OLD ,%IM] & ,*ICAGO DAYS7 & ,I R>ELY MISS ! MON?LY ,EA/ ,BAY ,FIDDL9' & ,PICK9' ,POTLUCKS1 :]E A HUNDR$ OR SO PEOPLE BR+ FOOD & PLAY MUSIC ALL AFT]NOON AT SOME SUITABLY L>GE H\SE4 ,9T]SP]S$ ) EAT+ & SOCIALIZ+1 PEOPLE CLU/] 9TO !IR [N PREF]R$ G5RES -- BLUEGRASS1 SAY1 9 ! BACK Y>D1 ,IRI% MUSIC 9 ! D51 GR\P S++ UP/AIRS1 #a#i#cS SW+ >\ND ! PIANO 7IF !RE HAPP5S TO BE ONE71 OLD-TIME FIDDLE TUNES ON ! FRONT POR*1 BLUES1 OR P]HAPS CAJUN OR KLEZMORIM1 9 ! DRIVEWAY OR OV]FL[+ ONTO ! SIDEWALK4 ,I'M USUALLY TO BE F\ND ) ONE ( ! OLD-TIME BUN*ES1 S++ & PLAY+ FIDDLE OR GUIT> -- NO?+ FANCY1 BUT 5\< TO HAVE A GOOD TIME4 ,EV]YBODY P>TICIPATES AT !IR [N LEVEL3 LESS-SKILL$ PLAY]S LIKE MYSELF T5D TO FOLL[ ! MORE V]SATILE ONES AS BE/ WE CAN1 BUT ANY ( US >E ALWAYS FREE TO 9ITIATE ONE ( ! NUMB]S WE KN[4 ,! ,E,B,F,P,P HAS BE5 SMOO?LY FUNCTION+ = NE>LY TW5TY YE>S N[ ON A PURELY SELF-ORGANIZ$ & VOLUNTE] BASIS4 ,I SOMETIMES ?9K ( IT1 & ( C\NTLESS SIMIL> CIRCLES & NETWORKS ?AT >E GO+ ON ALL ! TIME )\T EV] SEEK+ OR RECEIV+ NOTICE 9 ! SPECTACLE1 AS MODE/ =E%AD[+S ( H[ ?+S W\LD FUNCTION 9 A SANE SOCIETY4 ,NOT ?AT IT'S ANY BIG DEAL4 ,?AT'S ! PO9T4 

,I /ILL AGREE ) ! SITUATIONI/S ?AT ! >TS >E LIMIT$ =MS ( CREATIVITY1 & ?AT IT'S MORE 9T]E/+ TO TRY TO BR+ \R CREATIVITY 9TO ! PROJECT ( TRANS=M+ \R LIVES1 & ULTIMATELY \R :OLE SOCIETY4 ,:5 ,I'M 5GAG$ 9 ?AT GREAT GAME ,I F9D ,I HAVE LESS 9CL9ATION = >TI/IC ACTIVITIES4 ,BUT !RE'S A TIME = EV]Y?+4 ,! SITUATIONI/ CRITIQUE ( 0! SPECTACLE0 7I4E4 ( ! SPECTACLE SY/EM7 IS A CRITIQUE ( AN EXCESSIVE SOCIAL T5D5CY2 IT DOES NOT MEAN ?AT IT'S A S9 TO BE A SPECTATOR1 ANY MORE ?AN ! ,M>XIAN CRITIQUE ( ! COMMODITY SY/EM IMPLIES ?AT PEOPLE %\LD DO )\T GOODS4 

,I'VE ALWAYS F\ND IT AMUS+ ?AT RADICALS FEEL !Y HAVE TO JU/IFY !IR CULTURAL CONSUMPTION BY PRET5D+ TO F9D SOME RADICAL MESSAGE 9 IT4 ,P]SONALLY1 ,I W\LD F> RA!R READ A LIVELY HUMAN BE+ ) A TW9KLE 9 HIS EYE1 LIKE ,REXRO?1 ,M5CK51 ,H5RY ,MILL] OR ,=D ,MADOX ,=D1 ?AN SOME 9ANE POLITICALLY CORRECT PRIGG]Y4 ,= ?AT MATT]1 ,I'D RA!R READ ,HOM] OR ,BA%O OR ,MONTAIGNE OR ,GIBBON ?AN VIRTUALLY ANY MOD]N WRIT]4 ,I CAN /ILL APPRECIATE C]TA9 GREAT WORKS ( ! PA/1 RECOGNIZ+ ?AT !IR LIMITATIONS W]E UND]/&ABLE 9 ! CONTEXT ( !IR TIME2 BUT IT'S H>D TO TAKE S]I\SLY PO/-#a#i#f#h VISION>IES :O HAV5'T EV5 NOTIC$ ! NEW POSSIBILITIES ( LIFE4 ,:5 IT COMES TO CONTEMPOR>Y AU?ORS1 ,I SC>CELY READ ANY?+ BUT FRANKLY ESCAPI/ WORKS ?AT HAVE NO PRET5SIONS ( PR(UNDITY OR RADICALITY4 ,SOME ( MY FAVORITES >E ,REX ,/\T'S DETECTIVE /ORIES 7NOT SO MU* = ! PLOTS AS = ! AMUS+ WORLD ( ! ,N]O ,WOLFE H\SEHOLD & ,>*IE ,GOODW9'S LIVELY N>RATION72 ,JACK ,VANCE'S FANTASY & SCI5CE FICTION 7= HIS REM>KABLE V>IETY ( BIZ>RE SOCIETIES & HIS DROLLY S>DONIC & IRONIC DIALOGUES72 & ! NONFICTION SCI5CE ESSAYS ( ,ISAAC ,ASIMOV1 :O HAS ! R>E KNACK ( MAK+ JU/ AB\T ANY?+ HE WRITES AB\T BO? 9=MATIVE & 5T]TA9+1 :E!R HE'S EXPLA9+ ! LATE/ DISCOV]IES 9 A/RONOMY OR P>TICLE PHYSICS OR SPECULAT+ AB\T :AT SEX W\LD BE LIKE 9 A Z]O-GRAVITY SPACE /ATION4 

,9 #aiib ,I SET \T TO TRANSLATE MY ,REXRO? BOOK 9TO ,FR5*4 ,EV5 IF IT WAS NEV] PUBLI%$1 ,I WANT$ AT LEA/ TO HAVE AN ADEQUATE V]SION ON H& TO GIVE TO FRI5DS & CONTACTS4 ,IT WAS ALSO A GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO REF9E MY /ILL RA!R LIMIT$ ,FR5* SKILLS4 ,I PREP>$ A FIR/ DRAFT ON MY D&Y NEW COMPUT]1 !N OV] ! NEXT YE> MAIL$ SUCCESSIVE DRAFTS TO ,JEAN-,FRANCOIS ,LABRUG]E1 :O MADE NUM]\S CORRECTIONS & SUGGE/IONS = MORE IDIOMATIC /YLE4 ,WE CIRCULAT$ A PROVISIONAL V]SION 9 #a#i#i#c2 A REVIS$ V]SION WILL BE PUBLI%$ 9 E>LY #a#i#i#g4 

,DUR+ ! SAME P]IOD ,I ALSO BEGAN WORK+ ) ,JOEL ,CORNUAULT ON A S]IES ( TRANSLATIONS ( ,REXRO?'S [N WORKS1 BEG9N+ ) A BIL+UAL $ITION ( ?IRTY ( HIS POEMS 7,L'AUTOMNE 5 ,CALI=NIE1 #a#i#i#d7 & MO/ REC5TLY 9CLUD+ A SELECTION FROM HIS J\RNALISM 7,LE ,SAN ,FRANCISCO DE ,K5NE? ,REXRO?1 #a#i#i#g74 

,IT'S BE5 A PLEASURE TO COLLABORATE ) !SE TWO TRANSLATORS BECAUSE BO? ( !M HAVE ! PATI5CE TO C>EFULLY V]IFY ! PRECISE NUANCE ( EA* PHRASE1 EV5 ?\< ?IS CAN BE PRETTY TIME-CONSUM+ :5 DONE BY CORRESPOND5CE4 

,H[ ?IS BOOK CAME TO BE 

#aiic BR\<T A LOT ( ?+S TOGE!R = ME1 ULTIMATELY LEAD+ TO ! BOOK Y\ HAVE 9 Y\R H&S .<,PUBLIC ,SECRETS.>4 ,E>LY 9 ! YE> ,I F9ALLY GOT >\ND TO READ+ ALL ( ,PR\/'S ,A LA RE*]*E DU TEMPS P]DU 7,REMEMBRANCE ( ,?+S ,PA/74 ,IMM]S+ MYSELF 9 ?AT IMM5SE1 SOMETIMES T$I\S BUT USUALLY FASC9AT+ WORK GOT ME 9 ! MOOD TO EXPLORE MY [N PA/4 ,PRIM>ILY = MY [N 9T]E/ 7?\< ) ! IDEA ?AT ,I MI<T EV5TUALLY %[ ! TEXT TO A FEW CLOSE FRI5DS71 ,I />T$ WRIT+ D[N :ATEV] ,I C\LD REMEMB] FROM MY E>LY DAYS4 ,ONE ?+ REM9D$ ME ( ANO!R1 & BE=E ,I KNEW IT !RE W]E OV] A HUNDR$ PAGES4 

,IT TURN$ \T TO BE A GOOD WAY TO COME TO T]MS ) A NUMB] ( PA/ PROBLEMS & MI/AKES4 ,RECALL+ SOME ( ! GOOD OLD TIMES ALSO 9SPIR$ ME TO REE/ABLI% CONTACT ) SEV]AL OLD FRI5DS1 9CLUD+ ,MIKE ,BE>DSLEY1 :OM ,I HADN'T SE5 9 OV] TW5TY YE>S4 ,I MANAG$ TO HUNT HIM UP1 WE HAD SOME LONG PHONE CONV]SATIONS1 & 9 ,JUNE ,I FLEW TO ,*ICAGO TO SEE HIM4 ,HE HAD 5D$ UP 9 ! RA!R /RESSFUL OCCUPATION ( 9N]-CITY S*OOL TEA*]1 GONE ?R\< SEV]AL TEMPE/U\S M>RIAGES & DIVORCES1 & LET HIMSELF GET WAY OV]WEI<T2 BUT HE /ILL HAD A LOT ( HIS OLD WILD1 9DEP5D5T SPIRIT4 ,IT WAS GREAT TO SEE HIM AGA94 ,TO ADD TO ! NO/ALGIA1 WE DROVE \T TO ! OLD ,%IM] CAMPUS = A REUNION ?AT HAPP5$ TO BE TAK+ PLACE AT ! SAME TIME & SAW SEV]AL O!R OLD FRI5DS = ! FIR/ TIME S9CE ! SIXTIES4 

,TWO MON?S LAT] ,I GOT ! NEWS ( ,MIKE'S SUDD5 DEA?4 ,9 AN EF=T TO DEAL ) MY SORR[ ,I FREE-ASSOCIAT$ A LONG ELEGY CELEBRAT+ \R OLD FRI5D%IP4 ,!N ,I REWORK$ IT 9TO A %ORT /ATEM5T :I* ,I CIRCULAT$ TO A FEW MUTUAL FRI5DS & RELATIVES3 

,M,I,*,A,E,L ,B,E,>,D,S,L,E,Y  

7#a#i#d#e-#a#i#i#c7 

,MIKE DI$ ,AUGU/ #bi ( HE>T FAILURE :ILE 9 ! HOSPITAL BE+ TREAT$ = PNEUMONIA4 

,WE W]E BE/ FRI5DS = JU/ TWO YE>S1 #a#i#f#a-#a#i#f#c1 BUT !Y W]E VITAL1 9T5SELY EXCIT+ ONES = BO? ( US -- MEET+ AS ROOMMATES AT ,%IM] ,COLLEGE :5 WE W]E JU/ #a#f1 !N HEAD+ \T ON \R [N = BOHEMIAN EXPLORATIONS 9 ,CALI=NIA1 ,TEXAS 7:]E HE & HIS FIR/ WIFE ,NANCY HAD !IR BABY7 & ,*ICAGO4 ,JU/ A FEW YE>S LAT] A C\NT]CULTURE EMBODY+ SOME ( \R ASPIRATIONS W\LD SURFACE & SPREAD AMONG MILLIONS ( PEOPLE2 BUT 9 ! E>LY SIXTIES IT WAS /ILL JU/ BREW+ UND]GR\ND H]E & !RE2 WE & \R FELL[ QUE/]S W]E /ILL RELATIVELY ISOLAT$1 CLUMSILY GROP+ \R [N WAY = NEW VISIONS1 NEW LIFE/YLES4 ,9 SOME WAYS ?IS ISOLATION MADE ?+S MORE DIFFICULT = US1 BUT IT ALSO GAVE A SPECIAL SAVOR TO ! ADV5TURES & EV5 ! MISADV5TURES ! TWO ( US %>$ -- DISCOV]+ ,Z5 & PEYOTE1 ,RIMBAUD & ! ,BEATS1 ,H5RY ,MILL] & ,H]MANN ,HESSE1 ,LEADBELLY & ,RAVI ,%ANK>2 LIV+ FROM DAY TO DAY1 CON/ANTLY EXP]IM5T+1 SOMETIMES TO ! PO9T ( FOOLH>D9ESS2 HIT*+ ?R\< VA/1 OBLIVI\S ,MID-,AM]ICA1 MAYBE GETT+ /R&$ OV]NI<T BUT NOT REALLY M9D+ ALL ?AT MU*1 JU/ /ROLL+ ON D[N ! EMPTY HI<WAY HUMM+ ,COLTRANE & IMAG9+ ! GREAT WORLD \T !RE WAIT+ TO BE EXPLOR$444 

,WE EV5TUALLY W5T \R SEP>ATE WAYS1 ) ONLY V]Y SPORADIC COMMUNICATION OV] ! NEXT ?IRTY YE>S4 ,!N A NO/ALGIC MOOD LUCKILY 9SPIR$ ME TO HUNT HIM UP AGA91 & ,I FLEW BACK TO ,*ICAGO TO SEE HIM JU/ A C\PLE MON?S AGO4 ,DESPITE ALL ! WAT] UND] ! BRIDGE !RE W]E LIVELY MOM5TS ( \R OLD CAM>AD]IE4 ,I LOOK$ =W>D TO A R5EW$ FRI5D%IP 9 ! YE>S TO COME4 ,!N SUDD5LY HE WAS GONE4 

,AS ,I CRI$ OV] HIS DEA? ,I REALIZ$ ,I WAS REALLY CRY+ MA9LY = MYSELF1 BECAUSE A PRECI\S P>T ( MY [N LIFE WAS N[ GONE4 ,I KN[ ?AT O!RS :O W]E CLOSE TO HIM FEEL ?IS SAME K9D ( P]SONAL LOSS4 ,IT'S SAD TO ?9K ( ALL ! ?+S WE %>$ ) HIM1 OR MI<T YET HAVE %>$ ) HIM4 ,YET ULTIMATELY ,I DON'T ?9K !RE WAS V]Y MU* ( LIFE ?AT HE MISS$ \T ON4 ,MIKE HAD A V]Y TUMULTU\S LIFE1 !RE W]E A LOT ( PASSIONS & PA9S1 BUT HE LIV$ IT ) WOND] & 9T5SITY4 ,ONE TIME HE B>G$ 9TO MY ROOM :ILE ,I WAS ASLEEP & EXCLAIM$3 0,K56 ,WAKE UP6 ,! WORLD IS MAGIC60 0,:A -- 8 ,OH1 YEAH ,I KN[1 ,MIKE1 BUT ,I DIDN'T GET TO B$ TILL PRETTY LATE LA/ NI<T 4440 0,BUT ,K51 ,I WANT Y\ TO REALLY SEE ?AT ! WORLD IS MAGIC4 ,RI<T H]E6 ,JU/ LOOK60 ,!RE WAS NO >GU+ ) HIM -- ,I HAD TO GET UP & SEE4 ,& HE WAS RI<T1 ( C\RSE4 

,SO LONG1 OLD BUDDY4 

,IT WAS ,MIKE'S DEA? MORE ?AN ANY?+ ELSE ?AT MADE ME DECIDE TO PUBLI% ?IS AUTOBIOGRAPHY4 ,I HAD LOOK$ =W>D TO %[+ IT TO HIM & HAV+ HIM REM9D ME ( ?+S ,I'D =GOTT54 ,N[ IT'S TOO LATE4 ,I'M NOT P]SONALLY EXPECT+ TO KICK (F ANY TIME SOON1 BUT ?IS SORT ( %OCK DOES REM9D Y\ ?AT Y\ DON'T LIVE =EV] & ?AT IF Y\ WANT TO DO SOME?+ Y\'D DO WELL TO GET ON ) IT4 

,BR++ TOGE!R SO MANY LOOSE 5DS 9 MY LIFE 9 TURN 5C\RAG$ ME TO GET SOME ( MY OLD NOTES 9 %APE4 ,S9CE ! LATE SEV5TIES ,I HAD BE5 ACCUMULAT+ OBS]VATIONS ON DIFF]5T TYPES ( RADICAL TACTICS & SITUATIONS1 BUT )\T EV] MANAG+ TO GET !M COH]5TLY ORGANIZ$4 ,N[ ! TWO PROJECTS BEGAN TO COMPLEM5T EA* O!R4 ,! CASUAL =MAT ( ! AUTOBIOGRAPHY L5T ITSELF TO BRIEF REM>KS ON MISCELLANE\S TOPICS ?AT W\LD NOT HAVE M]IT$ :OLE >TICLES 7ANSW]S TO QUE/IONS ,I AM (T5 ASK$1 CL>IFICATIONS ( V>I\S MISCONCEPTIONS1 ATTEMPTS TO CONVEY :AT ,I HAVE F\ND 9T]E/+ AB\T ?IS OR ?AT71 9 SOME CASES S]V+ TO ILLU/RATE OR ELABORATE ON TOPICS PRES5T$ MORE OBJECTIVELY 9 ,! ,JOY ( ,REVOLUTION4 ,MAT]IAL C\LD BE %IFT$ FROM ONE TEXT TO ! O!R AS APPROPRIATE4 

,I HAD ALSO BE5 ?9K+ AB\T REISSU+ MY PREVI\S PUBLICATIONS 9 SOME SORT ( COLLECT$ =M4 ,AP>T FROM A FEW EXTRAVAGANT PRON\NCEM5TS & SLIPS 9TO KNEEJ]K SITU RHETORIC1 ,I /ILL /& BY MO/ ( :AT ,I SAID 9 !M1 ?\< !Y WILL NO D\BT SEEM OBSCURE TO PEOPLE :O DON'T 5GAGE 9 ! SORT ( V5TURES !Y DEAL )4 

,= A :ILE ,I ?\<T 9 T]MS ( SEV]AL SEP>ATE PUBLICATIONS3 RES]V+ ! AUTOBIOGRAPHY = CLOSE FRI5DS :ILE ISSU+ ! O!R WRIT+S AS PAMPHLETS OR SMALL BOOKS2 OR P]HAPS REWORK+ P>TS ( ! AUTOBIOGRAPHY AS A COMM5T>Y TO ! REISSU$ TEXTS2 OR PUTT+ \T A J\RNAL ?AT W\LD 9CLUDE 0,! ,JOY ( ,REVOLUTION0 PLUS MISCELLANE\S MAT]IAL4 ,EV5TUALLY IT OCCURR$ TO ME ?AT A LOT ( ?+S W\LD BE SIMPLIFI$ IF ,I JU/ PUT IT ALL TOGE!R 9 ONE BIG BOOK4 ,9CONGRU\S AS SU* A COLLECTION MI<T SEEM1 IT W\LD HAVE ! ADVANTAGE ( REVEAL+ BO? ! 9T]RELATIONS 7:I* MI<T NOT O!RWISE BE EVID5T TO READ]S7 & ! CONTRADICTIONS 7:I* MI<T NOT O!RWISE BE FAC$ BY MYSELF74 

,KN[+ ?AT IT W\LD BE READ BY A RA!R DIV]SE RANGE ( PEOPLE1 MO/1 BUT NOT ALL1 ( :OM W\LD BE FAMILI> ) ! SITUATIONI/S1 PRES5T$ A NUMB] ( 9T]E/+ *ALL5GES1 BO? 9 RELAT+ DIFF]5T ASPECTS TO EA* O!R & 9 F9D+ ! RI<T BALANCE BETWE5 TOO LITTLE & TOO MU* EXPLANATION4 ,! RA!R MIX$ RESULT 7P>T POLITICAL *RONICLE1 P>T SELF-ANALYSIS1 P>T SIMPLE NO/ALGIA7 WILL PROBABLY NOT FULLY SATISFY ANYONE -- SOME WILL WOND] :Y ,I GO 9TO C]TA9 MATT]S AT ALL1 O!RS WILL WI% ,I HAD GONE 9TO JUICI] DETAIL4 

,ONCE ,I 5VISION$ PUBLI%+ ! AUTOBIOGRAPHY1 ,I TRIMM$ \T A LOT ( ! P]SONAL DETAILS 9 ! ORIG9AL DRAFT1 EI!R BECAUSE !Y MI<T EMB>RASS ?OSE 9VOLV$ OR BECAUSE !Y W\LD BE ( LITTLE 9T]E/ TO MO/ READ]S4 ,) A FEW EXCEPTIONS ,I HAVE NOT REF]R$ TO PEOPLE BY NAME UNLESS !Y HAVE ALREADY COMMITT$ !MSELVES TO SOME SORT ( PUBLIC ACTIVITY4 

,! :OLE ?+ IS ADMITT$LY V]Y SELF-9DULG5T4 ,AL?\< ,I'VE M5TION$ A FEW PA9FUL EPISODES ?AT W]E TOO CRUCIAL TO OMIT1 = ! MO/ P>T ,I'VE MADE IT EASY ON MYSELF & DEALT ONLY ) ?+S ,I 5JOY$ RECALL+ & FELT MI<T BE ( 9T]E/ TO MY FRI5DS & P]HAPS A FEW O!R PEOPLE4 ,IF SOME READ]S CONSID] ME AN EGOMANIAC = PRESUM+ TO WRITE AB\T MY RELATIVELY UNSPECTACUL> LIFE1 ,I HOPE ?AT O!RS WILL BE 5C\RAG$ TO REEXAM9E !IR [N EXP]I5CES4 

"9 "9 "9 

0,I R\ND & F9I% LITTLE1 IF ANY?+2 

& C\LD NOT1 CONSI/5TLY ) MY S*EME4 

,! READ] WILL ALWAYS HAVE HIS OR H] P>T TO DO1 

JU/ AS MU* AS ,I HAVE HAD M9E4 ,I SEEK LESS TO /ATE 

OR DISPLAY ANY !ME OR ?\<T1 & MORE TO BR+ 

Y\1 READ]1 9TO ! ATMOSPH]E ( ! !ME OR 

?\<T -- !RE TO PURSUE Y\R [N FLI<T40 

7,:ITMAN1 0,A ,BACKW>D ,GLANCE ,O'] ,TRAVEL'D ,ROADS07 

  

.<#a.> ,AL?\< ! T]M SITUATIONI/ ORIG9ALLY REF]R$ SPECIFICALLY TO MEMB]S ( ! ,S,I1 IT LAT] ALSO CAME TO BE US$ 9 A BROAD] S5SE TO DESIGNATE O!RS 9 ! 0SITU MILIEU0 C>RY+ ON MORE OR LESS SIMIL> ACTIVITIES4 ,H]E & 9 MY O!R WRIT+S ! CONTEXT %\LD USUALLY MAKE CLE> 9 :I* S5SE ,I AM US+ ! T]M4 7,PA/ T5SE USUALLY REF]S TO ! ,S,I2 PRES5T T5SE -- AS 9 MU* ( 0,! ,SOCIETY ( ,SITUATIONISM0 & 0,! ,REALIZATION & ,SUPPRESSION ( ,RELIGION0 -- USUALLY 9DICATES ! BROAD S5SE47 

.<#b.> ,I %\LD M5TION ONE O!R IMPORTANT 9FLU5CE :OM WE DISCOV]$ 9DEP5D5TLY ( ! ,S,I3 ,JOSEF ,WEB]4 ,HE WAS ! LEAD+ SPIRIT ( ,CONTEMPOR>Y ,ISSUES1 A LITTLE-KN[N BUT REM>KABLY HI< QUALITY RADICAL J\RNAL ?AT WAS PUBLI%$ 9 ,LONDON FROM #a#i#d#h-#a#i#g4 ,WE PICK$ UP A LOT ( BASIC KN[L$GE ( REC5T HI/ORY FROM ! SOB]1 WELL-RESE>*$ >TICLES 9 ! ,C,I BACK ISSUES & A LOT ( PROVOCATIVE IDEAS FROM ! BRILLIANT1 IF SOMETIMES RA!R ECC5TRIC1 PIECES BY ,WEB]4 

.<#c.> ,AFT] ,JIMMY'S #aigb ASSASS9ATION 7:I* MAY HAVE BE5 CAUS$ BY A ,C,O,9,T,E,L,P,R,O SETUP7 !Y COMPLET$ & PUBLI%$ ! BOOK UND] ! TITLE ,BAD3 ,! ,AUTOBIOGRAPHY ( ,JAMES ,C>R 7#a#i#g#e2 REISSU$ BY ,A,K ,PRESS74 

.<#d.> ,TO PUT IT BRIEFLY1 9 BO? HIS ,VILLAGE ,VOICE >TICLE & HIS SUBSEQU5T BOOK1 ,LIP/ICK ,TRACES1 ,M>CUS RELATES TO ! SITUATIONI/S ES!TICALLY1 AS A FASC9AT$ SPECTATOR4 ,= ALL HIS AWE ( !IR EXTREMI/ IDEAS1 HE %[S LITTLE 9T]E/ 9 ! C>EFULLY CALCULAT$ TACTICS & ORGANIZATIONAL =MS ?R\< :I* !Y TRI$ TO IMPLEM5T ?OSE IDEAS 9/EAD ( M]ELY IMPULSIVELY 0EXPRESS+0 !M LIKE HIS O!R H]OES1 ! DADAI/S & ! PUNKS4 ,HIS P]SONAL1 IMPRESSIONI/IC APPROA* IS MORE ILLUM9AT+ ?AN ! FATU\S ACC\NTS ( MO/ ACADEMIC & CULTURAL CRITICS1 BUT HE %>ES ! LATT]'S MA9 BL9D SPOT3 PREF]R+ ! SITUATIONI/S' E>LY1 MORE 9TRIGU+LY EXOTIC PHASE1 :ILE SEE+ !IR LAT] REVOLUTION>Y P]SPECTIVE AS AN EMB>RASS+ ANA*RONISM4 ,SU* CRITICS 9V>IABLY ASSURE US ?AT1 :ATEV] REVOLUTIONS MAY HAVE HAPP5$ 9 ! PA/1 IT'S ALL OV] N[ & WILL NEV] HAPP5 AGA94 ,AFT] RIDICUL+ ! ,S,I'S ADVOCACY ( WORK]S C\NCILS 7:I* WAS F> LESS SIMPLI/IC ?AN HE IMPLIES71 ,M>CUS BLASELY CONCLUDES3 0,IF ! SITUATIONI/ IDEA ( G5]AL CONTE/ATION WAS REALIZ$ 9 ,MAY #a#i#f#h1 ! IDEA ALSO REALIZ$ ITS LIMITS4 ,! !ORY ( ! EXEMPL>Y ACT 444 MAY HAVE GONE AS F> AS SU* A !ORY OR SU* AN ACT CAN GO0 -- IGNOR+ H[ CLOSE ! ,MAY MOVEM5T CAME TO GO+ MU* F>!R 7SEE ! PASSAGES CIT$ ON PAGES #ec & #eg ( ! PRES5T BOOK .<9 ! SECTIONS 0,:AT C\LD HAVE HAPP5$ 9 ,MAY #a#i#f#h0 & 0,! ULTIMATE %[D[N0 ( ,! ,JOY ( ,REVOLUTION1 *APT] #c.>7 & NEV] M5TION+ SUBSEQU5T MOVEM5TS SU* AS ,PORTUGAL #aigd OR ,POL& #aih 7:I* 9 SOME RESPECTS DID GO F>!R7 OR ANY ( ! 9DIVIDUAL CURR5TS ATTEMPT+ TO ACTUALLY USE & DEVELOP ! SITUATIONI/S' A*IEVEM5TS4 ,I MYSELF AM ODDLY PIGEONHOL$ AS A 0/UD5T0 ( ! ,S,I1 AS IF !RE WAS NO?+ LEFT = ANY ( US LATECOM]S BUT TO PRODUCE LE>N$ DISS]TATIONS OR WI/FUL ELEGIES ON ! H]OIC V5TURES ( BYGONE TIMES4 

.<#e.> ,BE=E GO+ ON1 ,I %\LD /RESS ?AT MY ,Z5 PRACTICE HAS NO?+ TO DO ) ANY SUP]NATURAL BELIEFS4 ,TO MY UND]/&+1 ,Z5 DOES NOT 9VALIDATE SCI5CE OR REASON1 IT SIMPLY TRIES TO BREAK ! HABIT ( EXCESSIVE1 COMPULSIVE 9TELLECTUALIZ+4 ,)\T SOME LOGICAL DISCRIM9ATION PEOPLE C\LD NOT SURVIVE = A DAY -- OR EV5 UND]/& :AT ,I'M SAY+ WELL 5\< TO DISAGREE ) IT4  
  ,?\< SCI5CE IS (T5 ACCUS$ ( >ROGANCE1 IT IS VIRTUALLY ! ONLY FIELD ( HUMAN 5DEAVOR ?AT TAKES 9TO ACC\NT ITS [N FALLIBILITY1 ?AT CONSI/5TLY TE/S ITSELF & CORRECTS ITS [N ]RORS ?R\< RIGOR\SLY OBJECTIVE ME?ODS DESIGN$ TO C\NT]ACT PEOPLE'S NATURAL T5D5CIES T[>D FALLACI\S REASON+1 UNCONSCI\S BIASES & SELECTIVE MEMORY 7REMEMB]+ ! HITS & =GETT+ ALL ! MISSES74 ,TO REALLY TE/ ! CLAIMS ( A/ROLOGY1 = EXAMPLE1 REQUIRES *ECK+ A /ATI/ICALLY L>GE SAMPL+ ( PEOPLE TO SEE IF1 SAY1 A DISPROPORTIONATE NUMB] ( SCI5TI/S >E BORN UND] SIGNS SUPPOS$ TO 9DICATE RATIONALI/IC T5D5CIES4 ,SU* TE/S HAVE BE5 C>RI$ \T MANY TIMES & 9 NO CASE HAS !RE TURN$ \T TO BE ANY SU* CORRELATION4 ,SIMIL> 9VE/IGATIONS ( MANY O!R SUPPOS$ P>ANORMAL PH5OM5A HAVE BE5 DESCRIB$ 9 BOOKS BY ,JAMES ,R&I1 ,M>T9 ,G>DN] & O!RS & 9 NUM]\S >TICLES 9 ! ,SKEPTICAL ,9QUIR] 7J\RNAL ( ! ,COMMITTEE = ! ,SCI5TIFIC ,9VE/IGATION ( ,CLAIMS ( ! ,P>ANORMAL74 ,OV] & OV] SU* CLAIMS HAVE BE5 %[N TO BE BAS$ ON RUMORS ?AT TURN \T TO BE FALSE1 MIS9T]PRETATIONS ( O!RWISE EXPLA9ABLE EV5TS1 9SUFFICI5TLY RIGOR\S CONDITIONS ( EXP]IM5TATION1 OR HOAXES & *>LATANISM4   
  ,!RE MAY TURN \T TO BE K]NELS ( TRU? 9 A FEW ( !SE >EAS1 BUT CONSID]+ H[ SUSCEPTIBLE PEOPLE >E TO FOOL+ !MSELVES 7& TO CL++ TO !IR BELIEFS RA!R ?AN ADMITT+ ?AT !Y'VE BE5 MADE FOOLS (7 ,I 9T5D TO RES]VE JUDGM5T UNTIL ,I SEE SOME GOOD EVID5CE4 ,= YE>S ,R&I & O!RS HAVE MADE A /&+ (F] ( @s#a1 TO ANYONE :O CAN DEMON/RATE ANY P>ANORMAL P[] :ATSOEV] UND] SCI5TIFICALLY CONTROLL$ CONDITIONS 79CLUD+ OBS]VATION BY PR(ESSIONAL MAGICIANS LIKE ,R&I1 :O >E CAPABLE ( RECOGNIZ+ ! SORTS ( TRICKS (T5 US$ BY *>LATANS74 ,HUNDR$S ( SELF-PROCLAIM$ PSY*ICS1 D[S]S1 A/ROLOG]S1 ETC41 HAVE TRI$ TO DO SO4 ,SO F> NOT A S+LE ONE HAS SUCCE$$4 

.<#f.> ,NOT TO BE CONFUS$ ) ,D4,T4 ,SUZUKI1 :OSE NUM]\S WORKS DEAL ) ! MORE DRAMATICALLY 0GOAL-ORI5T$0 ,R9ZAI S*OOL ( ,Z54 ,%UNRYU ,SUZUKI LEFT ONLY ONE MODE/ LITTLE BOOK1 ,Z5 ,M9D1 ,BEG9N]'S ,M9D1 BUT IT'S A GEM4 ,!RE IS N[ A ,%UNRYU ,SUZUKI WEBSITE CREAT$ BY ,DAVID ,*ADWICK1 AU?OR ( ! EXCELL5T ,SUZUKI BIOGRAPHY1 ,CROOK$ ,CUCUMB]1 & ( ! DELI<TFUL & (T5 HIL>I\S ACC\NT ( HIS [N EXP]I5CES1 ,?ANK ,Y\ & ,O,K63 ,AN ,AM]ICAN ,Z5 ,FAILURE 9 ,JAPAN4 .<,NOTE ADD$ #a#i#i#i4.> 

,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,APRIL #b#b1 #bb 3 ,CONFESSIONS ( A ,MILD-,MANN]$ ,5EMY ( ! ,/ATE -- ,ADD$4 
,JANU>Y #d1 #bbb 3 ,CONFESSIONS ( A ,MILD-,MANN]$ ,5EMY ( ! ,/ATE -- ,UPDAT$4 

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