,9F9ITE ,RELATION%IPS 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,CRIME?,9C4 

,TEXT 3 

,?IS IS AB\T SO-CALL$ 0NON-MONOGAM\S RELATION%IPS10 AB\T SOME ( ! B5EFITS ( TRY+ \T ONE ( ! ALT]NATIVES TO ! =MULAIC DAT+_/M>RIAGE_/DIVORCE MODEL = LOVE4 ,Y\R RESPONSE TO ?IS >TICLE WILL PROBABLY BE SIMIL> TO ! ONE ,I HAD A FEW YE>S AGO :5 ,I READ A DISCUSSION ( ! SAME SUBJECT BY ,DAVID ,S&/ROM 9 ! ,SW$I% Z9E ,H&BOOK = ,REVOLUTION>IES3 0GOOD IDEA1 BUT1 UH1 NOT RELEVANT TO ME1 ( C\RSE4440 ,IT TURN$ \T ,I WAS WRONG4 ,HAD ,I REMEMB]$ A LESSON ,I'VE LE>N$ OV] & OV]1 ,I W\LD HAVE REALIZ$ ?AT (T5 ! IDEAS ?AT MAKE ME ! MO/ DEF5SIVE & UNCOM=TABLE AT FIR/ TURN \T TO BE ! MO/ IMPORTANT = ME 9 ! LONG RUN4 ,NOT TO SAY ?AT ,I'M (F]+ A PROGRAM ?AT Y\ MU/ ALL IMM$IATE ADJU/ Y\RSELVES TO444 BUT WE CAN'T REM9D EA* O!R 5\< TO BE OP5 TO NEW IDEAS1 9 CASE !Y DO PROVE TO BE HELPFUL 9 \R LIVES4 

,A C\PLE YE>S AGO ,I HAD A WOND]FUL EXP]I5CE ON T\R1 9 :I* ,I F9ALLY EXP]I5C$ :AT IT FELT LIKE = M5'S G5D] ROLES TO BE DISSOLV$3 OV] ! C\RSE ( ! T\R EV]YONE 9 ! B& & ! PEOPLE T\R+ ) US W]E ALL ABLE TO OP5 UP & BECOME EMOTIONALLY SUPPORTIVE & LOV+1 & SUDD5LY ! EXP]I5CE ( BE+ ) A LOT ( O!R BOYS WAS TOTALLY FUCK+ DIFF]5T FROM ANY?+ ,I'D 5C\NT]$ BE=E4 ,9 ?IS SAFE1 5C\RAG+ 5VIRONM5T1 ALL ( US REALLY FELT FE>LESS1 FREE1 READY TO TRY ANY?+1 ) NO MORE D\BT OR NE$ = WALLS TO PROTECT US4 ,ON ! SURFACE1 IT WAS JU/ ?AT WE W]5'T AFRAID TO T\* & HOLD EA* O!R1 & ?AT WE /OPP$ COMPLA9+ & BE+ SELFI%2 BUT ! IMPLICATIONS B5EA? ?IS W]E IMM5SE3 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT !RE WAS NO NE$ = 9TIMACY & EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TO BE CONF9$ TO MY ROMANTIC RELATION%IPS--,I C\LD CREATE & B5EFIT FROM !SE ?+S 9 EV]Y RELATION%IP4 

,?IS GOT ME ?9K+ AB\T MY ROMANTIC RELATION%IPS444 IF !RE WAS NO REASON MY FRI5D%IPS C\LDN'T BE MORE LIKE MY LOVE AFFAIRS1 :Y C\LDN'T MY LOVE AFFAIRS BE MORE LIKE MY FRI5D%IPS8 ,:5 ,I ?\<T AB\T IT1 MY FRI5D%IPS HAD A LOT GO+ = !M ?AT MY LOVE AFFAIRS NEV] DID3 MY FRI5DS W]E NEV] JEAL\S OR POSSESSIVE1 MY FRI5D%IPS DIDN'T T5D TO ADH]E TO SOME /RICT SOCIALIZ$ IMAGE ( :AT !Y 0%\LD0 BE1 & :ILE MY FRI5D%IPS G5]ALLY CONT9U$ ON 9 ONE =M OR ANO!R ?R\< MY LIFE1 ONCE IT TURN$ \T ?AT A ROMANTIC RELATION%IP WASN'T /ORYBOOK P]FECT IT W\LD 5D & ,I W\LDN'T SEE ! LOV] ANYMORE4 

,ALL MY LOVE RELATION%IPS HAD PROCE$$ SOME?+ LIKE ?IS3 9 ! BEG9N+ ,I W\LD MEET A BEAUTIFUL NEW P]SON1 WE W\LD BROAD5 EA* O!RS' HORIZONS & HAVE WOND]FUL EXP]I5CES TOGE!R1 & ?US FALL 9 LOVE4 ,AT FIR/ WE W\LD FEEL MORE FREE TOGE!R ?AN EI!R ( US EV] HAD1 & ! WORLD W\LD SEEM FULL TO OV]FL[+ ) POSSIBILITY & WILD JOY4 ,BUT SL[LY1 NOT TRU/+ ! RE/ ( ! WORLD1 OR ! FUTURE 9 :I* WE MI<T NOT FEEL SU* WOND]FUL ?+S1 WE W\LD BUILD \R RELATION%IP 9TO A CA/LE1 TO KEEP \T ! COLD & DANG]\S \TSIDE WORLD1 & PROTECT \R PASSION BY TURN+ IT 9TO AN 9/ITUTION4 ,SEX1 :I* AT ! BEG9N+ HAD BE5 SOME?+ ?AT CAME MORE NATURALLY & FREELY ?AN ANY?+ ELSE1 BECAME JEAL\SLY GU>D$ AS ! SEAL SANCTIFY+ \R LOVE RELATION%IP1 AS PRO( ?AT IT WAS DIFF]5T ?AN ALL \R O!R RELATION%IPS4 .<,?IS SEEMS1 9 RETROSPECT1 LIKE A REALLY /RANGE ROLE = SEX TO PLAY4.> ,9EVITABLY1 ,I W\LD WAKE UP ONE DAY & REALIZE ?AT ! FREE1 F]AL PASSION ?AT WE'D BE5 UNIT$ BY WAS GONE1 REPLAC$ BY HABIT1 R\T9E1 FE> ( *ANGE2 ! CA/LE WE'D BUILT HAD BECOME A TOMB1 SEAL+ US 9SIDE & AWAY FROM ! \TSIDE WORLD1 :I* WE'D ACTUALLY NE$$ ALL ALONG TO BR+ US EA* NEW ?+S TO (F] ! O!R & SU/A9 \RSELVES4 ,9SIDE ! C(F91 WE F\<T MORE & MORE1 EA* DEM&+ ?AT ! O!R PROVE H] LOVE BY SACRIFIC+ MORE & MORE--:5 LOVE IS SUPPOS$ TO 5ABLE Y\ TO LIVE MORE1 NOT DISABLE Y\ 9 RETURN = AN ASSURANCE ( BASIC COMPANION%IP1 A COMPANION%IP ?AT (T5 REPLACES Y\R P>TICIPATION 9 L>G] COMMUNITIES ANYWAY4 ,FALL+ 9 LOVE HAD BE5 LIKE F9D+ A SECRET 5TRANCE TO ! G>D5 ( ,$51 A GIFT ECONOMY 9 :I* WE %>$ EV]Y?+ )\T KEEP+ SCORE OR WORRY+ AB\T 0FAIR TRADE02 BUT N[ WE W]E BACK 9 ! EX*ANGE ECONOMY1 COMPET+ TO SEE :O C\LD NE$ MORE1 :O C\LD CONTROL MORE4 ,AFT] ALL MY ATTEMPTS TO TRANSC5D ! /]EOTYP$ ROLES ( PEOPLE 9 ROMANTIC RELATION%IPS1 ,I SUDD5LY F\ND ?AT ,I WAS A 0BOYFRI5D0 AGA91 ) A 0GIRLFRI5D0 7:I* IS NOT A HEAL?Y ROLE = ANYONE TO HAVE TO PLAY 9 ?IS SEXI/ SOCIETY671 ) NO IDEA H[ IT HAD ALL HAPP5$4 

,I />T$ ?9K+ AB\T H[ IT IS ?AT WE ALL KEEP FALL+ 9TO !SE PATT]NS1 & H[ WE C\LD AVOID !M4 ,! ISSUE ( LIMITATION KEPT COM+ UP3 ! IDEA ?AT SOME ?+S HAD TO BE (F LIMITS = ! RELATION%IP TO WORK4 ,) MY FRI5DS1 NO?+ IS (F LIMITS1 & NO?+ IS DEM&$ EI!R3 WE (F] EA* O!R :ATEV] WE CAN1 :5EV] WE HAVE IT TO GIVE1 & WE DON'T DEM& ANY?+ ?AT DOESN'T COME NATURALLY = ! O!R 7?AT'S H[ MY FRI5D%IPS GO :5 !Y'RE HEAL?Y AT LEA/1 & MO/ ( !M >E AT ?IS PO9T74 ,I DECID$ TO LOOK 9TO :AT O!R MODELS = LOVE RELATION%IPS !RE W]E1 & DISCOV]$ ?AT !RE IS A LONG TRADITION ( RELATION%IPS )\T !SE LIMITS & EXPECTATIONS3 NON-MONOGAM\S1 OR 0OP510 RELATION%IPS4 

,I'M NOT TRY+ TO SAY ?AT MONOGAM\S RELATION%IPS >E BAD1 EXACTLY1 BUT !RE >E A ?\S& K9DS ( RELATION%IPS1 & WE G5]ALLY ONLY P]MIT \RSELVES TO TRY ONE =MAT1 :I* SEEMS RIDICUL\S4 ,LET'S EXPLORE A BIT4 ,EV]Y TIME ,I HE> AB\T ANO!R WIFE_/HUSB&_/BOYFRI5D_/GIRLFRI5D *EAT+ & SNEAK+ >\ND1 EV]Y TIME ,I HE> SOMEONE SPEAK+ PR\DLY AB\T H[ 79 ! NAME ( MONOGAMY7 HE HAS MANAG$ TO RESI/ DO+ SOME?+ HE REALLY WANTS TO1 EV]Y TIME ,I MU/ LI/5 TO SOMEONE PA!TICALLY LAM5T+ ! FEEL+ ( BE+ 0TRAPP$0 9 A RELATION%IP OR UNABLE TO PURSUE H] DESIRES \T ( SOME K9D ( FE>1 EV]Y FUCK+ TIME ,I HAVE TO WITNESS SOMEONE LE]+ VOYEURI/ICALLY 70IT'S OK TO LOOK IF Y\ DON'T T\*071 IT MAKE ME SO FURI\S AB\T H[ WE'VE TRAPP$ \RSELVES 9 ?IS ONE-OPTION RELATION%IP SY/EM1 ACCEPT+ !SE SYMPTOMS ( SUFFOCATION AS 9EVITABLE 9/EAD ( EXP]IM5T+ ) ! O!R POSSIBILITIES4 ,MORE ?AN ANY?+ ELSE1 \R COMMITM5T TO SUPPORT+ MONOGAMY AS ! ONLY OPTION 7O!R ?AN 0CASUAL SEX10 ,I GUESS1 :I* IS BOR+ AS FUCK & BAD 9 O!R WAYS TOO7 KEEPS US FROM BE+ HONE/ ) EA* O!R4 ,WE'VE GOT TO D>E TO ADDRESS ALL !SE COMPLEXITIES ( LIFE & DESIRE OP5LY1 EV5 IF IT IS PA9FUL4 

,WE PUNK ROCK]S ALWAYS ACT LIKE WE'RE SU* RADICAL PEOPLE1 BUT :5 IT COMES D[N TO ACT+1 9 PRACTICE1 TO TRY \T RADICALLY DIFF]5T WAYS ( LIV+ ?AT MI<T BE MORE 9 L9E ) \R IDEAS 7OR JU/ PLA9 *ALL5G+1 = ONCE1 NOT SAFE--NO?+ IS MORE DANG]\S ?AN PLAY+ IT SAFE671 IT DOESN'T OCCUR TO US TO QUE/ION \R PROGRAMM$ HABITS4 ,ALL TOO (T5 \R REVOLUTION>Y IDEAS >E JU/ BADGES1 A DIFF]5T IDEOLOGY = US TO VOTE =1 NOT CATALY/S = TRANS=M+ LIFE4 ,?IS IS AN ISSUE ?AT AFFECTS EV]YONE1 :]E AN>*I/ VALUES CAN BE TRI$ \T 9 ! REAL WORLD1 BUT ?US F> ,I'VE SE5 V]Y LITTLE DISCUSSION ( ?IS SUBJECT 9 \R COMMUNITY2 IF WE'RE GO+ TO QUE/ION ! WAY ! WORLD WORKS1 WE %\LD TAKE ?AT HOME TO \R [N P]SONAL RELATION%IPS1 & P]HAPS TRY \T ALT]NATIVES !RE FIR/ BE=E PROPOS+ SOLUTIONS TO ! ILLS ( ! WORLD4 ,?AT IS--IF WE REALLY HAVE SOLUTIONS TO ! ILLS ( \R SOCIETY1 LET'S PUT ?OSE 9TO PRACTICE TO SOLVE ! ILLS ( \R [N RELATIONS4 ,HEAL]1 HEAL ?YSELF4 

,:,A,T ,A,N ,O,P,5 ,R,E,L,A,T,I,O,N,%,I,P ,I,S 

  

,! MO/ IMPORTANT ?+ H]E IS TO GET OV] ! IDEA ?AT A P]SON'S VALUE IS MEASUR$ BY :E!R %E ALONE CAN BE 05\<0 = ANO!R P]SON4 ,! WORLD IS 9F9ITE1 & SO >E WE--NO AM\NT ( LIV+1 NO NUMB] OR DEP? ( 9T]ACTIONS ) O!RS %\LD BE 05\<0 = ANY ( US1 JU/ AS NO AM\NT ( 9T]ACTIONS ) A P]SON Y\ LOVE WILL EV] BE 05\<40 7,TO SET BORD]S ON :AT ANO!R P]SON CAN DO OR FEEL1 AS A CONDITION = !M TO BE ABLE TO RECEIVE MY LOVE & AFFECTION1 GOES AGA9/ EV]Y?+ ,I BELIEVE AS AN AN>*I/ & A HUMAN BE+2 ,I WANT TO TRU/ O!RS TO KN[ :AT !Y NE$1 & NEV] LIMIT !M--& ,I C]TA9LY DON'T ?9K MY LIFE WILL BE ANY RI*] FROM ! LIMITATIONS ,I PLACE ON O!RS74 ,WE HAVE TO FREE EA* O!R TO BE & BECOME \RSELVES4 ,?IS ISN'T JU/ AB\T O!R LOV]S OR SEX P>TN]S OR FRI5DS1 IT'S ALSO AB\T O!R UND]TAK+S1 NE$S1 EV5 ! DESIRE = SPACE & SOLITUDE--IT'S HE>TBREAK+ H[ MU* ( \R SELVES \R LOV]S (T5 ASK US TO SACRIFICE TO BE ) !M4 

,I WANT TO BE VALU$ = :AT ,I AM1 = :AT ,I DO NATURALLY1 NOT H[ WELL ,I CON=M TO SOME PRE-SET LI/ ( NE$S ?AT SOMEONE HAS4 ,IF SOMEONE ELSE CAN FILL SOME ( ?OSE NE$S1 ,I W\LDN'T D5Y ?AT TO ANYONE1 & ,I DON'T WANT TO BE JEAL\S :5 O!RS HAVE SOME?+ DIFF]5T TO (F]2 ,I JU/ WANT ! *ANCE TO (F] :AT ,I HAVE TO GIVE TO ?OSE ,I LOVE1 & TO REMEMB] ?AT ?OSE ?+S >E PRICELESS & NOT COMP>ABLE TO :ATEV] UNIQUE GIFTS O!RS MAY HAVE4 ,NONE ( US %\LD EV] BE SADDL$ ) ! ROLE ( SOLE PROVID] = SOMEONE'S NE$S 7ROMANTIC OR O!RWISE71 ANYWAY2 \R PURPOSE ON ?IS E>? IS NOT TO S]VE O!RS1 BUT TO F9D WAYS TO BE \RSELVES 9 WAYS ?AT ALSO B5EFIT O!RS4 ,BY SAY+ ! RE/ ( ! WORLD ISN'T (F LIMITS TO Y\R P>TN]1 Y\ FREE Y\RSELF ( ! JOB ( BE+ ! :OLE WORLD TO Y\R P>TN]4 

,! MONOGAMY SY/EM MEANS ?AT PEOPLE HESITATE TO %>E !MSELVES ) O!RS 9 C]TA9 WAYS1 LE/ !Y BECOME ROMANTICALLY 9VOLV$--= S9CE Y\ CAN ONLY HAVE ONE ROMANTIC P>TN] AT A TIME1 Y\ HAVE TO MAKE SURE ?AT Y\R ONE P>TN] IS A GOOD 9VE/M5T 7& H]E WE >E BACK 9 ! CAPITALI/ M>KET EV5 9 \R LOVE RELATION%IPS74 ,WOM5 *ECK M5 \T = F9ANCIAL MEANS4 ,M5 POND] :E!R A WOMAN'S BEAUTY IS SOCIALLY RECOGNIZ$ 5\< TO (F] ! PRE/IGE HE HOPES TO GET BY HAV+ H] AT HIS SIDE1 & NO ONE IS ABLE TO EXP]IM5T ) P>TN]S :O DON'T MEET 5\< ( !SE CRIT]IA TO BE POT5TIAL SP\SES4 ,= ?AT MATT]--JU/ AS 9 Y\R FRI5D%IPS1 !RE MAY BE PEOPLE 9 ! WORLD ) :OM Y\ CAN SP5D SOME WOND]FULLY ROMANTIC TIME ONCE OR TWICE A MON?1 BUT ) :OM Y\ DON'T HAVE 5\< 9 COMMON TO DATE /EADILY & !N M>RY1 ETC 7AL?\< Y\ (T5 SEE SU* MISMAT*$ C\PLES1 :O W\LD HAVE BE5 HAPPY AS MORE SPORADIC P>TN]S1 MAK+ EA* O!R MIS]ABLE 9 FIFTY-YE> M>RIAGES74 ,NON-MONOGAM\S RELATION%IPS MAKE SU* ?+S POSSIBLE )\T PAY+ ANY PRICE ( MUTUAL UNHAPP9ESS4 

,I'VE DECID$ ?AT ,I NO LONG] WANT TO HAVE A HI]>*Y ( VALUE BETWE5 MY FRI5D%IPS & MY LOVE RELATION%IPS3 !Y'RE BO? CRUCIAL1 IRREPLACEABLE 9 MY LIFE1 & FUCK ANYONE :O WANTS ME TO *OOSE BETWE5 ANY ( !M4 ,NOT ONLY ?AT1 BUT ,I'VE /OPP$ CLASSIFY+ ?+S AS 0LOVE0 OR 0FRI5D%IP0 ACCORD+ TO >BITR>Y SUP]FICIAL DETAILS--! FEEL+S ,I %>E ) C]TA9 FRI5DS >E SO 9TIMATE1 SO BEAUTIFUL1 ?AT IT'S RIDICUL\S ?AT ,I DON'T CALL !M LOV]S JU/ BECAUSE WE DON'T SLEEP TOGE!R4 ,IT'S FUCK+ ABSURD ?AT SEX %\LD BE ! DIVID+ L9E BETWE5 \R RELATION%IPS1 BETWE5 :I* ONES TAKE PREC$5CE1 BETWE5 :O WE PLAY )1 LIVE )1 SLEEP )1 :O WE TAKE C>E ( FIR/1 :O WE DIE ) AT LA/4 

,BY ! SAME TOK51 9 OP5 RELATION%IPS1 SEX ISN'T WEI<$ D[N ) SO MANY IMPLICATIONS & RE/RICTIONS4 ,LOVE & DESIRE \TSIDE ! L9ES ( ! MONOGAMY MODEL >E DEMONIZ$ & ATTACK$ ON EV]Y FRONT 9 ?IS SOCIETY--9 ! LIVES ( WOM51 AT LEA/1 & ?OSE M5 :O DON'T WANT TO BE MONOGAM\S BUT ALSO DESPISE ! SUP]FICIALITY & SEXI/ BULL%IT ( ! 0PLAY]0 SC5E >E UNLIKELY TO F9D SUPPORT 9 FEM9I/ CIRCLES1 EI!R4 ,SEX %\LD NOT BE CONTA9$1 & IT %\LD NOT BE MADE SYMBOLIC ( ANY?+--IT %\LD SIMPLY BE ANO!R WAY = PEOPLE TO BE PHYSICALLY AFFECTIONATE ) EA* O!R1 TO GIVE EA* O!R PLEASURE1 TO BE 9TIMATE & EMOTIONALLY EXPRESSIVE1 TAK+ EQUAL RESPONSIBILITY = !IR 9VOLVEM5T BUT )\T HAV+ TO ANSW] TO SOME HYP]CRITICAL MASS1 SOCIAL EXPECTATION1 OR MORAL TABOO4 

,AN OP5 RELATION%IP IS JU/ ?AT3 IT IS A RELATION%IP IS :I* PEOPLE CAN BE OP5 ) EA* O!R1 & ) !MSELVES--9 :I* NO?+ NE$ BE HIDD5 OR SUPPRESS$ OR (F LIMITS1 9 :I* ! :OLE WORLD CAN BE \RS TO EXPLORE )\T FE> ( TRANSGRESS+ IMAG9>Y B\ND>IES4 ,:5 WE DEM& TOTAL OP5NESS & HONE/Y FROM EA* O!R 9 RELATION%IPS ?AT 9CLUDE LIMITS & TABOOS1 WE'RE SETT+ \RSELVES UP = BETRAYALS & DI%ONE/Y3 TO SAY 0BE OP560 )\T BE+ RECEPTIVE TO ALL ( ! POSSIBLE TRU?S IS FASCI/ & PREPO/]\S4 ,WE HAVE TO BE SUPPORTIVE ( EA* O!R1 9 EV]Y ASPECT ( \R 9DIVIDUAL *>ACT]S1 IF WE WANT REAL HONE/Y TO BE POSSIBLE4 ,O!RWISE1 WE'RE LIKE ,*RI/IANS AT CONFESSION ) EA* O!R1 DEM&+ ?AT WE REVEAL ALL \T ( SOME MORAL IMP]ATIVE1 ) ! :IP ( %AME READY = ANY /RAY+ IMPULSE4 ,WE HAVE TO LE>N TO EMBRACE & CELEBRATE ANY?+ ?AT FEELS GOOD = EA* O!R4 ,IF IT'S GOOD = \R LOV]S1 IT'S GOOD = US-->E WE REALLY SO SELFI% ?AT WE CAN'T SEE ?IS8 

,= ONE EXAMPLE ( H[ ?IS C\LD WORK1 LET'S GO BACK TO ! /ORY ( \R T\R4 ,ON ! T\R1 DIFF]5T 9DIVIDUALS =M$ CLOSE BONDS1 & %>$ PRIVATE WORLDS TOGE!R LIKE LOV]S DO2 BUT !Y ALSO REMEMB]$ ?AT = ! COMMUNITY TO FUNCTION1 !Y C\LDN'T )DRAW FROM !IR RELATION%IPS ) EV]YONE ELSE4 ,& :5EV] TWO PEOPLE NE$$ A BREAK FROM EA* O!R OR WANT$ TO EXP& !IR HORIZONS A BIT1 !Y W\LD SP5D MORE TIME ) O!RS1 BECAUSE !RE W]E ALWAYS O!RS >\ND !M :O ALSO HAD ?+S TO (F]4 ,EV]YONE WAS SAFE & C>$ =1 & NO ONE WAS LEFT \T1 BECAUSE WE W]5'T PAIR$ (F 9 EXCLUSIVE TWOS4 

,CONV]SELY1 ! SC>CITY ECONOMY ( LOV]S :I* WE HAVE RI<T N[ MAKES EA* P]SON HURRY TO PICK ANO!R & *A9 H] TO HIM1 BE=E HE IS LEFT ALONE =EV]4 ,! ALT]NATIVE1 :I* ?IS FE> ( SOLITUDE PREV5TS US FROM SEE+1 SEEMS MORE PREF]ABLE3 A WORLD )\T BORD]S1 9 :I* EA* ( US W\LD BE P>T ( A BROAD] FAMILY ( LOV]S & FRI5DS1 ) NO DI/9CTION MADE BETWE5 ! TWO--& NO SET =MAT = ANY RELATION%IP1 SO EXP]IM5TATION W\LD BE A CON/ANT FEATURE ( EV]Y ONE1 & NO RELATION%IP C\LD EV] GET DULL OR OV]:ELM+4 ,TO GET TO SU* A WORLD1 WE JU/ HAVE TO GET US$ TO NOT LIMIT+ EA* O!R1 TO NOT ?9K+ ( LOVE AS A LIMIT$ COMMODITY4 

,J,E,A,L,\,S,Y1 ,& ,:,A,T ,I',V,E ,L,E,>,N,$ ,F,R,O,M ,I,T 

  

,YES1 ,I /ILL FEEL JEAL\S SOMETIMES4 ,I'VE HAD EXP]I5CES BE=E ( BE+ 9SANELY JEAL\S--NOT JU/ ( ANO!R MAN1 BUT ( O!R ?+S MY P>TN]S LOV$ OR EXP]I5C$ OR W]E EXCIT$ AB\T4 ,BE+ ABLE TO COME TO T]MS ) !SE ?+S HAS BE5 V]Y IMPORTANT 9 ! DEVELOPM5T ( MY CONFID5CE & S5SE ( SELF4 ,IT TOOK ME YE>S TO FEEL 7NOT JU/ UND]/&7 ?AT IF MY LOV] LOVES O!R ?+S OR O!R PEOPLE AS WELL1 IT DOESN'T MEAN ,I AM LESS VALUABLE4 ,BESIDES1 IF 7HE OR7 %E TRULY LOVES ME1 IT'S NOT BECAUSE ,I MAT* UP TO SOME LI/ ( DESIR$ QUALITIES ?AT SOMEONE ELSE CAN \TMAT* ME AT--%E LOVES ME = REASONS ?AT >E UNIQUE TO ME1 ?AT NO ONE ELSE CAN COMPETE )1 SO ,I HAVE NO?+ TO FE>4 ,LOVE ISN'T A SC>CITY COMMODITY--IT 9CREASES1 JU/ LIKE JOY1 ! MORE IT IS P]MITT$ & %>$ & GIV5 AWAY4 ,I DON'T FEEL LIKE ,I HAVE TO HO>D ANYONE ALL TO MYSELF N[4 ,I KN[ ?AT DOESN'T WORK1 OR HELP TO PROJECT LOVE 7OR ME1 = ?AT MATT]74 

,I CONSID] MY JEAL\SY A WOR?Y ADV]S>Y1 ONE ?AT CAN TEA* ME A LOT AB\T MYSELF IF ,I CONFRONT IT RA!R ?AN TRY+ TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM IT BY CONTROLL+ O!RS4 ,I'VE HAD EXP]I5CES 9 RELATION%IPS BE=E :]E LOV]S ( M9E HAVE LIMIT$ !MSELVES 9 ORD] TO PROTECT ME FROM MY JEAL\SY1 & IT HAS BE5 CATA/ROPHIC = BO? ( US1 Y\ CAN IMAG9E4 ,IT'S JU/ AS IMPORTANT TO ME N[ ?AT ,I HELP O!RS TO NOT BE 0AFRAID = ME0 AS IT IS ?AT ,I LE>N NOT TO BE AFRAID = MYSELF4 

,ONE ( ! ?+S JEAL\SY HAS TAU<T ME AB\T IS MY ATTITUDE T[>D O!R M54 ,IT'S 9T]E/+ = ME TO NOTE ?AT ,I'VE NEV] FELT ?REAT5$ BY WOM5 :OM MY P>TN]S W]E ATTRACT$ TO OR 9VOLV$ )1 BUT O!R M5 HAVE ALWAYS MADE ME SEE R$4 ,9 \R SOCIETY1 M5 >E CONDITION$ NOT TO TRU/ EA* O!R1 TO HATE EA* O!R1 TO TRY TO 0PROTECT0 WOM5 FROM O!R M5 7:I* (T5 LOOKS MORE LIKE HO>D+ & PROTECT+ 0PROP]TY071 & ?IS 9CL9ATION MAKES S5SE :5 Y\ LOOK AT H[ FUCK$ UP MANY M5 >E :5 IT COMES TO 9T]ACT+ ) WOM54 ,BUT = ME TO NOT TRU/ ANY M5 TO BE SOME?+ GOOD = MY P>TN]S 7PA/ ! PO9T ( LIMIT$ FRI5D%IP7 IS \TRI<T P>ANOIA & T]RITORIAL BULL%IT4 ,IF ,I TRU/ ! JUDGM5T ( MY P>TN]1 ,I %\LD TRU/ H] TO KN[ :AT & :O IS GOOD = H]1 & TO NOT LET MY EA*-AGA9/-ALL MALE CONDITION+ 9T]F]E4 

,S,O,M,E ,O,B,J,E,C,T,I,O,N,S ,I',V,E ,H,E,>,D ,R,A,I,S,$ ,T,O ,O,P,5 ,R,E,L,A,T,I,O,N,%,I,P,S3 

  
  

0,IT S\NDS GOOD 9 !ORY1 BUT ! WAY PEOPLE FEEL IS MORE IMPORTANT ?AN !SE AB/RACTIONS4440  
  

,SOME PEOPLE ?9K ?AT WE COME UP ) IDEAS & !ORIES NOT AS SOLUTIONS TO ! REAL PROBLEMS ( \R LIVES1 BUT TO %[ (F :AT GOOD IDEAS WE CAN COME UP )4 ,IF IT'S NOT CLE> BY N[ ?AT ,I'VE BE5 ?9K+ AB\T ?IS AS AN ATTEMPT TO SOLVE RA!R ?AN EXAC]BATE ! PROBLEMS 9 MY LOVE RELATION%IPS1 !N ,I APOLOGIZE = DO+ SU* A POOR JOB WRIT+ ?IS >TICLE4 ,& HEY--IF Y\ ?9K OP5 RELATION%IPS CAN BE T\< ON Y\R EMOTIONS1 JU/ TRY LONG-T]M MONOGAMY4 ,!Y'RE BO? H>D SOMETIMES4  
  

0,BUT HUMAN NATURE--0  
  

,FUCK Y\4 ,5\< SAID4 ,HUMAN NATURE IS :AT WE MAKE IT1 & Y\ KN[ ?AT TOO1 :E!R OR NOT Y\ WANT TO [N UP TO IT--Y\ C[>DLY EXCUSE-MONG]+ BA/>DS4  
  

0,I GUESS ?AT'S F9E IF IT'S :AT Y\ WANT TO TRY1 BUT LUCKILY ,I ONLY WANT MONOGAMY = MYSELF6 ,I'M ALL SET60  
  

,?AT'S GREAT = Y\1 IF IT REALLY IS TRUE--= ! TIME BE+1 AT LEA/4 ,WE'RE ALWAYS SO ?RILL$ :5 \R DESIRES HAPP5 TO CO9CIDE ) SOCIAL RULES2 !N IT'S EASY = US TO FEEL PR\D ( \R DESIRES1 TO ?9K !Y'RE BEAUTIFUL1 S9CE !Y >E UNIV]SALLY ACCEPT$ 79DE$1 EV]Y?+ >\ND Y\ IS RE9=C+ ! IDEA ?AT :AT Y\ >E LUCKY 5\< TO FEEL = ! MOM5T IS P]FECTION ITSELF7444 BUT Y\ MI<T NOT ALWAYS BE ?AT 0LUCKY10 Y\ KN[4 ,%\LD Y\ 7OR SOMEONE ELSE7 EV] FEEL A NE$ ?AT ISN'T SATISFI$ BY ! MONOGAMY SY/EM1 IF Y\ HAV5'T ALREADY MADE ! EF=T TO GET O!RS TO UND]/& & ACCEPT ! IDEA ?AT !RE >E MANY DIFF]5T ACCEPTABLE K9D ( RELATION%IPS & DESIRE1 Y\'LL BE BACK AT GR\ND Z]O1 F9D+ Y\RSELF MISUND]/OOD1 HAT$1 CALL$ SLUT & :ORE4 ,NOBODY %\LD HAVE TO GO ?R\< ?AT1 EV]1 SO :ATEV] Y\ P]SONALLY NE$1 Y\ HAVE A /AKE 9 PROMOT+ NON-MONOGAMY AS A VIABLE OPTION TOO4 ,O!RWISE1 WE'LL ALL LIVE 9 FE> ( WAK+ UP ONE DAY FEEL+ A DESIRE ?AT IS UNACCEPTABLE--& ?AT FASCI/ P[] ( MORALISM OV] \R LIVES IS EXACTLY :AT ,I ?\<T WE W]E TRY+ TO FI<T 9 PUNK ROCK4 

,?AT'S :Y ,I CONSID] MYSELF NON-MONOGAM\S RI<T N[1 EV5 ?\< ,I'VE ONLY HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS ) ONE P]SON OV] ! PA/ FIVE MON?S3 ,I DO :AT ,I DO NOT \T ( A COMMITM5T TO MONOGAMY1 BUT RA!R A COMMITM5T TO MEET+ MY [N NE$S & ?OSE ( O!RS1 ) NO FUCK+ REG>D = SOCIAL NORMS--& TO SUPPORT+ O!RS :O DO ! SAME ?+1 :E!R OR NOT !Y DO IT 9 ! SAME WAY4 ,NON-MONOGAMY ISN'T AB\T SEX1 ANYWAY--IT'S A G5]AL APPROA* TO RELATION%IPS ) PEOPLE1 AS ,I DISCUSS$ ABOVE4  
  

0,OP5 RELATION%IPS >E BAD = WOM5--IT'S JU/ ANO!R WAY = M5 TO BE SELFI% & ABS5T :5 WOM5 NE$ !M4440  
  

,?IS IS ! K9D ( SEXI/ REM>K ,I'D RA!R NOT HAVE TO DEAL )1 BUT ,I'VE HE>D IT BE=E4 ,IT REM9DS ME ( ! OLD MY? ?AT ALL .<0GOOD0.> WOM5 WANT 0RESPONSIBLE0 MONOGAM\S RELATION%IPS1 & ! ONES :O DON'T MU/ BE CONFUS$ .<SO IT'S ,O,K = US TO D\BT !M OR LOOK D[N ON !M1 JU/ AS MISOGYNI/ PIGS CALL !M SLUTS.>4 ,FIR/ ( ALL1 WOM5 HAVE BE5 ! ONES :O 9TRODUC$ ME TO MO/ ( !SE IDEAS4 ,BESIDES ! WOM5 ,I KN[ P]SONALLY1 ! V]Y BE/ BOOK ,I'VE BE5 ABLE TO F9D ON ?IS SUBJECT 7,! ,E?ICAL ,SLUT1 BY ,DOSSIE ,EA/ON & ,CA!R9E ,A4 ,LISZT1 ON ,GRE5]Y ,PRESS71 :I* ,I W\LD /RONGLY RECOMM5D TO ANYONE 9T]E/$ 9 ?IS ISSUE1 IS WRITT5 BY WOM5 .<IF Y\ CAN'T F9D IT1 WRITE ME & ,I'LL L5D Y\ MY COPY.>4 ,SECOND ( ALL1 A LOT ( ! M5 & WOM5 9VOLV$ 9 PIONE]+ DIFF]5T MODELS = RELATION%IPS OV] ! PA/ FEW DECADES HAVE NOT BE5 9VOLV$ 9 HET]OSEXUAL RELATION%IPS1 SO 9 ?OSE CASES ?IS A TOTALLY UNF\ND$ CRITICISM4 ,?IRD--PEOPLE :O SAY ?IS MAKE IT S\ND LIKE !Y ?9K M5 >E ONLY EMOTIONALLY NURTUR+ TO WOM5 :O >E PAY+ !M (F = IT ) SEX444 & D5Y+ !M ACCESS TO ANY O!R SEX AS A WAY TO BE SURE ! PAY(F WILL ALWAYS WORK4 ,GOD1 ,I HOPE ?AT'S NOT ! BE/ WE CAN HOPE = 9 HET]OSEXUAL RELATION%IPS444 

,F9ALLY--YES1 IT'S TRUE ?AT M5 HAVE BE5 CONDITION$ TO BE SELFI% & SOME:AT LESS ?AN NURTUR+ 9 !IR RELATION%IPS1 & JU/ %IFT+ RELATION%IP MODELS IS NOT GO+ TO CURE ?AT4 ,BUT ?AT'S GO+ TO BE A PROBLEM 9 :ATEV] K9DS ( RELATION%IPS !Y HAVE1 NOT JU/ OP5 ONES1 & HAS TO BE DEALT ) AS A SEP>ATE ISSUE4 ,A LOV+1 C>+ BOY IS NOT GONG TO GO RUNN+ (F = SEX ) SOME /RANG] :5 HIS LOV] 7OR ONE ( HIS LOV]S7 REALLY NE$S HIM4 ,!RE >E SO MANY L&M9ES HIDD5 9 \R SEXUALITY1 S9CE SO MU* ( IT HAS BE5 PROGRAMM$ BY \R 5EMIES2 WE M5 NE$ TO UNLE>N ! PRESSURES ?AT MAKE US SEEK \T SUP]FICIAL SEX AS A WAY TO AVOID REAL 9TIMACY & SUPPORT4 ,?AT BR+S ME TO ! ?IRD OBJECTION3  
  

0,SO DOES ?IS MEAN Y\'RE GIV+ UP ON Y\R ROMANTIC DREAMS1 Y\R HOPES = LIV+ HAPPILY EV]1 JU/ TRAD+ !M = A S]IES ( SEXUAL EPISODES ) ACQUA9TANCES80  
  

,NO1 NOT AT ALL4 ,I'M NOT 9T]E/$ 9 EVAD+ P]SONAL COMMITM5TS & LONG T]M RELATION%IPS--RA!R ,I WANT TO PROTECT !M FROM BE+ UNNECESS>ILY AT RISK4 ,I WANT TO SECURE MY ROMANTIC RELATION%IPS1 SO !Y WON'T BE AT RISK FROM TRIVIAL ?+S LIKE TEMPOR>Y BOR$OM OR ATTRACTION TO O!RS1 BY CREAT+ RELATION%IPS ?AT >E SU/A9ABLE ?R\< *ANGES 9 MY LIFE & NE$S4 ,?AT WAY ,I CAN HOPE TO HAVE MY LOV]S AS LONG AS ,I HAVE MY FRI5DS1 'TIL DEA? DO US P>T = REAL1 & NO OLD TABOOS 7OR JEAL\SY1 9SECURITY1 ETC7 WILL 9T]F]E4 ,SURE1 ?IS WILL BE H>D SOMETIMES1 JU/ LIKE EV]Y?+ IS H>D SOMETIMES--BUT ! REW>DS ( MAK+ ?IS WORK WILL BE GREAT] 9 EV]Y WAY1 ,I ?9K4 

,:AT ,I'M HOP+ TO DO H]E IS FREE US FROM ! UNNECESS>Y TRAG$IES ( \R LOVE AFFAIRS1 ! 9SECURITIES & POSSESSIV5ESS ?AT D5Y US ! COMMITM5T & PLEASURE WE C\LD HAVE TOGE!R4 ,9 ORD] TO BE READY TO REMOVE ?OSE OB/ACLES1 WE HAVE TO BE READY TO FACE ! REAL TRAG$IES HEAD ON1 ) GREAT C\RAGE3 WE CAN'T DEM& ?AT O!RS PROTECT US FROM \R 9SECURITIES BY LIMIT+ !MSELVES1 & WE HAVE TO FACE ! FACT ?AT !RE WILL BE MOM5TS :5 WE >E ALONE4 ,! PRICE ( NOT DO+ ?IS IS ABSURD--TODAY1 WE SUFF] BO? ! NECESS>Y & UNNECESS>Y TRAG$IES 9 \R RELATION%IPS1 BECAUSE ( ! C\RAGE WE LACK4 ,IS IT TOO MU* TO ASK ?AT WE TRY SOME?+ NEW8 

7,S\RCE3 ,RETRIEV$ ON #g? ,NOVEMB] #bb FROM CRIME?9C4COM47 

,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,JANU>Y #a#d1 #bbb 3 ,9F9ITE ,RELATION%IPS -- ,ADD$4 

 FILE G5]AT$ FROM 3  
HTTP3_/_/REVOLTLIB4COM_/