,VOLUME #a1 ,LETT] #a ,! ,C\NT ,DE ,/4 ,JULIAN TO ! ,M>QUIS ( ,PESC>A1 ,COS5ZA ,PEOPLE 3 ,AU?OR 3 ,WILLIAM ,GODW9 ,TEXT 3 ,LETT] ,X4 ,! ,C\NT DE ,/4 ,JULIAN TO ! ,M>QUIS ( ,PESC>A1 ,COS5ZA ,MY DE> LORD1 ,EV]Y ?+ ?AT HAS HAPP5$ TO ME = SOME TIME PA/1 APPE>S SO =TUNATE & EXTRAORD9>Y ?AT ,I CAN SC>CELY P]SUADE MYSELF ?AT IT IS NOT A DREAM4 ,IS IT POSSIBLE ?AT ,I %\LD NOT HAVE BE5 BORN TO UN9T]RUPT$ MIS=TUNE8 ,! \TCA/ ( MY FA!R ALMO/ AS SOON AS ,I HAD A BE+1 ,I WAS NEV] S5SIBLE TO ! SOLACE ( PAT]NAL K9DNESS1 ,I C\LD NEV] OP5 MY HE>T1 & P\R =? ALL MY ?\D SO RIGOR\S & AU/]E8 ,& WAS IT NOT PUNI%M5T 5\< TO BE DEB>R$ ( ALL ! SOLACE ,I MIES ( A GU>DIAN & A PROTECTOR8 ,H[ DID ,I DES]VE TO BE DEPRIV$ ( ?AT PATRIMONY :I* WAS MY NATURAL CLAIM1 TO BE S5T =?1 AFT] HAV+ =M$ SO REASONABLE EXPECTANCIES1 AFT] HAV+ RECEIV$ AN $UCATION SUITABLE TO MY RANK1 UNASSI/$ & UNPROVID$1 UPON ! !AT] ( ! WORLD8 ,I HAD PICTUR$ ?AT WORLD TO MYSELF AS COLD1 SELFI%1 & UNFEEL+4 ,I EXPECT$ TO F9D ! C\NT5ANCES ( MY FELL[-CREATURES >\ND ME SMIL+ & UNCONC]N$1 :ATEV] W]E MY /RUGGLES1 & :ATEV] W]E MY DISAPPO9TM5TS4 ,PHILOSOPHY HAD DEPRIV$ ME ( ?OSE GAY & ROMANTIC PROSPECTS1 :I* (T5 FILL ! BOSOM ( Y\?4 ,A TEMP] TOO S5SIBLE & FA/IDI\S HAD TAUDOR AMONG ! BULK ( MY FELL[-CREATURES4 ,I HAVE N[ F\ND ?AT AVOID+ ONE EXTREME ,I 5C\NT]$ ! O!R4 ,AS MO/ M51 9DUC$ BY !IR SELF-IMPORTANCE1 EXPECT ?AT !IR FEEL+S %\LD 9T]E/1 & !IR SITUATIONS >RE/ ! ATT5TION ( ?OSE ?AT SURR\ND !M2 SO ,I HAV+ DETECT$ !IR ]ROR C\NT$ UPON LESS B5EVOL5CE & LOOK$ = LESS FRI5D%IP ?AN ,I HAVE F\ND4 ,MY ,R9ALDO DEM&$ TO BE P>DON$ = HAV+ NEGLECT$ MY ADVICE1 & MISCON/RU$ ! MOTIVES ( IT4 ,I HAD NOT LESS REASON TO 9TREAT HIS =GIV5ESS 9 MY TURN1 = HAV+ WEI<$ HIS *>ACT] ) SO LITTLE DETAIL1 & SO HA/ILY DECID$ TO HIS DISADVANTAGE4 ,MY FRI5D WILL NOT SUSPECT ME ( 9T]E/$ FLATT]Y1 :5 ,I SAY1 ?AT ,I S9C]ELY REJOICE 9 A CONDUCT SO HONORABLE TO HUMAN NATURE AS HIS HAS BE5 RESPECT+ ME4 ,HE HAD NO MOTIVE ( VANITY1 = :O WAS !RE ?AT 9T]E/$ HIMSELF 9 ! FATE ( SO OBSCURE AN 9DIVIDUAL2 :O 9 ALL ! POLITE CIRCLES & CONV]SAZIONI ( ,NAPLES1 W\LD GIVE HIM CR$IT = HIS FRI5D%IP1 TO A P]SON SO UNLIKE !MSELVES8 ,HE SUP]S$$ ALL ! FEEL+S ( RES5TM5T1 HE C\NT$ NO DI/ANCE1 HE PASS$ OV] M\NTA9S & SEAS 9 PURSUIT ( HIS EXALT$ DESIGN4 ,BUT MY ,R9ALDO1 G5]\S AS HE IS1 IS NOT ! ONLY PROTECTOR ?AT =TUNE HAS RAIS$ TO ! =LORN & DES]T$ ,/4 ,JULIAN4 ,Y\ >E ACQUA9T$ ) ! LIB]AL & FRI5DLY 9VITATION ,I RECEIV$ FROM ! DUKE ( ,B5EV5TO AT ,MESS9A4 ,HIS RECEPTION WAS /ILL MORE CORDIAL & SOO?+4 ,HE EMBRAC$ ME ) W>M?1 & EV5 WEPT OV] ME4 ,HE C\LD NOT REFRA9 FROM IMPRECATIONS UPON ! MEMORY ( MY FA!R1 & HE DECL>$ ) 5]GY1 ?AT ! SON ( ,LEONORA DELLA ,COLONNA %\LD NEV] SUFF] FROM ! >BITR>Y & CAPRICI\S TYRANNY ( A ,SICILIAN C\NT4 ,HE ASSUR$ ME 9 ! /RONGE/ T]MS ?AT HIS :OLE =TUNE WAS AT MY DISPOSAL4 ,!N TELL+ ME ?AT HIS DE> & ONLY *ILD HAD BE5 IMPATI5T = MY >RIVAL1 HE TOOK ME BY ! H&1 & L$ ME TO ! AMIABLE ,MATILDA4 ,A *ANGE LIKE ?IS C\LD NOT BUT BE 9 ! HIT4 ,! BALM ( FRI5D%IP & AFFECTION IS AT ALL TIMES SWEET & REFRE%+4 ,TO BE FRE$ AT ONCE FROM ! PROSPECT ( BANI%M5T1 & ! DREAD ( DEP5D5CE1 TO BE RECEIV$ ) UNB\ND$ FRI5D%IP & OV]FL[+ G5]OSITY BY A RELATION ( MY MO!R1 & ONE :O PLACES ! PRIDE ( HIS FAMILY 9 SUPPORT+ & DI/+UI%+ ME1 WAS AN ALT]ATION 9 MY CIRCUM/ANCES :I* ,I C\LD NOT HAVE HOP$4 ,I AM NOT 9S5SIBLE TO K9DNESS4 ,MY HE>T IS NOT %UT AGA9/ S5SATIONS ( PLEASURE4 ,MY SPIRITS W]E EXHIL>AT$2 MY H\RS PASS$ 9 ?OSE LITTLE GRATIFICATIONS & COMPLIANCES1 BY :I* ,I MI M>QUIS1 IT IS /ILL TRUE :AT ,I HAVE (T5 OBS]V$1 ?AT ,I WAS NOT BORN = HAPP9ESS4 ,9 ! MID/ ( A SC5E FROM :I* IT MIT IS CORROD$ ) ANGUI%1 & ,I HAVE A SECRET GRIEF1 ?AT PALLS & DISCOLORS EV]Y 5JOYM5T1 & ?AT1 BY BE+ C>EFULLY %UT UP 9 MY [N BOSOM1 IS SO MU* ! MORE AFFLICT+ & IRKSOME4 ,YES1 MY ,R9ALDO1 ?IS IT WAS ?AT GAVE A /+ TO ! ?\ITY1 9 NO H\R ( UNRE/RICT$ FRI5D%IP1 WAS IT EV] DISCLOS$4 ,IT IS NOT1 MY FRI5D1 ! DREAM ( SPECULATIVE PHILOSOPHY1 IT HAS BE5 V]IFI$ 9 9NUM]ABLE FACTS1 IT IS ! SUBJECT ( ! SOB] EXP]I5CE ( EV]Y MAN1 ?AT COMMUNICATION & CONFID5CE ALLEVIATE EV]Y UNEAS9ESS4 ,BUT AH1 IF IT W]E BE=E DISQUIET & MELAN*OLY1 N[ IT BURNS1 IT RAGES1 ,I AM NO LONG] MA/] ( MYSELF4 ,Y\ REMEMB]1 MY DE> ,R9ALDO1 ?AT ONCE 9 ! C\RSE ( MY RESID5CE AT ! UNIV]SITY1 ,I PAID A VISIT TO ! DUKE ( ,B5EV5TO AT ,COS5ZA4 ,IT WAS !N ?AT ,I FIR/ SAW ! AMIABLE ,MATILDA4 ,%E APPE>$ TO ME ! MO/ *>M+ ( H] SEX4 ,H] *EEKS HAD ! FRE%NESS ( ! PEA*1 & H] LIPS W]E ROSES4 ,H] NECK WAS ALABA/]1 & H] EYES SP>KL$ ) ANIMATION1 *A/5$ ) ! MO/ UNRIVAL$ G5TL5ESS & DELICACY4 ,H] /ATURE1 H] =EHEAD1 H] M\?--BUT AH1 IMPI\S WRET*1 H[ CAN/ ?\ PRET5D TO TRACE H] FROM *>M TO *>M6 ,:O CAN DISSECT UNB\ND$ EXCELL5CE8 ,:O CAN COOLLY & DELIB]ATELY GAZE UPON ! BRI$ MUTE & ABS5T4 ,BUT IT WAS NOT ! SIL5CE ( AN UN9T]E/$ P]SON3 IT WAS NOT ! DI/RACTION ( PHILOSOPHIC ?\T4 ,ONCE ,I REMEMB] ,I OBTA9$ ! OPPORTUNITY ,I HAD SO LONG WI%$4 ,IT CAME UPON ME UNEXPECT$LY1 & ,I WAS OV]:ELM$ BY IT4 ,MY LIMBS TREMBL$1 MY EYES LO/ !IR WONT$ FACULTY4 ,! OBJECTS BE=E !M SWAM ALONG 9DI/9CTLY4 ,I ESSAY$ TO SPEAK1 MY V]Y TONGUE REFUS$ ITS (FICE4 ,I FELT ?AT ,I P]SPIR$ AT EV]Y PORE4 ,I ROSE TO RETIRE1 ,I SAT D[N AGA9 IRRESOLUTE & CONF\ND$4 ,MATILDA P]CEIV$ MY DISORD] & COM+ T[>DS ME1 9QUIR$ ) A T5D] & ANXI\S VOICE1 :E!R ,I FELT MYSELF ILL4 ,! PLA9TIVE & 9T]E/+ TONE 9 :I* %E DELIV]$ H]SELF COMPLET$ MY CONFUSION4 ,%E RANG ! BELL = ASSI/ANCE1 & ! SC5E WAS CONCLUD$4 ,:5 ,I RETURN$ TO ,PAL]MO1 ,I IMAG9$ ?AT BY BE+ REMOV$ FROM ! CAUSE ( MY PASSION1 ,I %\LD 9S5SIBLY LOSE ! PASSION ITSELF4 ,R9ALDO1 Y\ KN[ ?AT ,I AM NOT ( ?AT WEAK & EFFEM9ATE TEMP] TO ?R[ ! RE9S UPON ! NECK ( DESIRE1 TO P]MIT H] A CLE> & UNDISPUT$ REIGN4 ,I SUMMON$ ALL MY REASON & ALL MY FIRMNESS TO MY AID4 ,I CONSID]$ ! SUP]IORITY ( H] TO :OM MY AFFECTIONS W]E ATTA*$1 9 RANK1 9 EXPECTATIONS1 9 =TUNE4 ,I FELT ?AT MY PASSION C\LD NOT NATURALLY BE CR[N$ ) SUCCESS4 0,& %ALL ,I BE ! POOR & FEEBLE SLAVE ( LOVE8 ,ANIMAT$ AS ,I AM ) AMBITION1 ASPIR+ TO ! GREATE/ HEIE = MYSELF A LONG VI/A ( DISAPPO9TM5T8 ,%ALL ,I BY ONE FR[>D & UNREASONABLE DESIRE1 /A9 ALL MY FUTURE PROSPECTS1 & DISCOLOR ALL ?OSE S\RCES ( 5JOYM5T1 ?AT FATE MAY HAVE RES]V$ = ME80 ,ALAS1 LITTLE DID ,I !N APPREH5D ?AT LOSS ( =TUNE ?AT WAS AB\T TO PLACE ME /ILL MORE BEL[ ! OBJECT ( MY WI%ES6 ,BUT MY EF=TS W]E VA94 ,I TURN$ MY ATT5TION 9DE$ TO A V>IETY ( PURSUITS4 ,I IMAG9$ ?AT ! FLAME :I* HAD SPRUNG UP AT ,COS5ZA WAS 5TIRELY EXT+UI%$4 ,I SEEM$ TO RETA9 FROM IT NO?+ BUT A K9D ( S(T MELAN*OLY & A SOB] CA/ ( ?\TIALITY ,I WAS DESIR\S TO 5GAGE4 ,BUT ,I NO SOON] LE>N$ ?AT REV]SE ( =TUNE :I* DISCLOS$ ITSELF UPON ! DEA? ( MY FA!R1 ?AN ,I FELT H[ MU* ,I HAD BE5 DECEIV$4 ,I HAD ONLY DRAWN A SLIRI]1 IT W\LD NO LONG] BE CONCEAL$4 ,MY TEMP] WAS 9 ! UTMO/ DEGREE UNSUITABLE TO A /ATE ( DEP5D5CE1 BUT IT WAS ?IS ?\% & DREADFUL TO MY M9D4 ,I LOV$ MY C\NTRY ) ! S9C]E/ AFFECTION1 BUT IT WAS ?IS ?AT MADE BANI%M5T WORSE ?AN T5 ?\S& DEA?S4 ,! WORLD APPE>$ TO ME A FRIT4 ,FROM !SE APPREH5SIONS1 & ?IS DEJECTION1 ,I HAVE BE5 UNEXPECT$LY DELIV]$4 ,BUT1 OH1 MY DE> M>QUIS1 :AT IS ! EX*ANGE ,I HAVE MADE8 ,I RESIDE UND] ! SAME RO( ) ! ADORABLE ,MATILDA4 ,I SEE EV]Y DAY1 ,I CONV]SE )\T RE/RA9T ) H]1 :OM ,I CAN NEV] HOPE TO CALL MY [N4 ,CAN ,I ?US GO ON TO *]I% A PASSION1 ?AT CAN MAKE ME NO PROMISES1 ?AT CAN SUGGE/ TO ME NO HOPES8 ,CAN ,I EXPECT ALWAYS TO CONCEAL ?IS PASSION FROM ! MO/ P5ETRAT+ EYES8 ,H[ DO ,I KN[ ?AT ,I AM NOT AT ?IS MOM5T DISCOV]$1 ?AT ! NEXT WILL NOT LAY MY HE>T NAK$ 9 ! SIY ANXIETY1 ,I WILL NOT TREMBLE ) DI/RACT+ APPREH5SIONS4 ,MATILDA1 ?Y HONE/ & UNSUSPECT+ HE>T BY ME %ALL NEV] BE L$ A/RAY4 ,IF ! FOND WI%ES ( A FA!R >E RES]V$ = CRUEL DISAPPO9TM5T1 ,I WILL NOT BE ! 9/RUM5T4 ,MY SECRET %ALL LIE = EV] BURI$ 9 ?IS FAI?FUL BREA/4 ,IT %ALL DIE ) ME4 ,I WILL FLY TO SOME DI/ANT L&4 ,I WILL RETIRE TO SOME C\NTRY DESOLAT$ BY EV] BURN+ SUNS1 OR BURI$ B5EA? ET]NAL SN[S4 ,!RE ,I CAN LOVE AT LIB]TY4 ,!RE ,I CAN BREA! MY SIRY !M TO ! E>S1 ) !M TO DI/URB ! PEACE ( ?OSE :OM BEYOND ALL MANK9D ,I V5]ATE & ADORE4 ,I MAY BE MIS]ABLE1 ,I MAY BE GIV5 UP TO EV]-DUR+ DESPAIR4 ,BUT MY PATRON & HIS SPOTLESS DAUOXYSM ( A LOV]'S RAGE4 ,I HAVE NO RESOLUTION1 ,I AM LO/ 9 P]PLEXITY4 ,I HAVE ESSAY$ 9 VA91 ,I CANNOT SUMMON TOGE!R MY SCATT]$ ?\TS ( ! GLOBE1 ,I WILL NOT HESITATE4 ,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 ,*RONOLOGY 3 ,JANU>Y #e1 #bba 3 ,VOLUME #a1 ,LETT] #a -- ,ADD$4 ,JANU>Y #a#g1 #bbb 3 ,VOLUME #a1 ,LETT] #a -- ,UPDAT$4 FILE G5]AT$ FROM 3 HTTP3_/_/REVOLTLIB4COM_/