,VOLUME #a1 ,*APT] #ah 

#aicaaica 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN 

,TEXT 3 

  

,PHOTO BY BD9PHO5IX1,C,C ,B,Y-,N,C-,N,D ,LIC5SE ,LIV+ ,MY ,LIFE 

BY ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN 

,VOLUME ,ONE 

,NEW ,YORK3 ,ALFR$ ,A ,KNOPF ,9C41 #a#i#c#a4 

,*APT] #ah 

,AM]ICA HAD DECL>$ W> ) ,SPA94 ,! NEWS WAS NOT UNEXPECT$4 ,= SEV]AL MON?S PREC$+1 PRESS & PULPIT W]E FILL$ ) ! CALL TO >MS 9 DEF5SE ( ! VICTIMS ( ,SPANI% ATROCITIES 9 ,CUBA4 ,I WAS PR(\NDLY 9 SYMPA?Y ) ! ,CUBAN & ,PHILIPP9E REBELS :O W]E /RIV+ TO ?R[ (F ! ,SPANI% YOKE4 ,9 FACT1 ,I HAD WORK$ ) SOME ( ! MEMB]S ( ! ,JUNTA 5GAG$ 9 UND]GR\ND ACTIVITIES TO SECURE FRE$OM = ! ,PHILIPP9E ,ISL&S4 ,BUT ,I HAD NO FAI? :ATEV] 9 ! PATRIOTIC PROTE/ATIONS ( ,AM]ICA AS A DIS9T]E/$ & NOBLE AG5CY TO HELP ! ,CUBANS4 ,IT DID NOT REQUIRE MU* POLITICAL WISDOM TO SEE ?AT ,AM]ICA'S CONC]N WAS A MATT] ( SUG> & HAD NO?+ TO DO ) HUMANIT>IAN FEEL+S4 ,( C\RSE !RE W]E PL5TY ( CR$UL\S PEOPLE1 NOT ONLY 9 ! C\NTRY AT L>GE1 BUT EV5 9 LIB]AL RANKS1 :O BELIEV$ 9 ,AM]ICA'S CLAIM4 ,I C\LD NOT JO9 !M4 ,I WAS SURE ?AT NO ONE1 BE IT 9DIVIDUAL OR GOV]NM5T1 5GAG$ 9 5SLAV+ & EXPLOIT+ AT HOME1 C\LD HAVE ! 9TEGRITY OR ! DESIRE TO FREE PEOPLE 9 O!R L&S4 ,!NCE=? MY MO/ IMPORTANT LECTURE1 & ! BE/-ATT5D$1 WAS ON ,PATRIOTISM & ,W>4 

,9 ,SAN ,FRANCISCO IT W5T OV] )\T 9T]F]5CE1 BUT 9 ! SMALL] ,CALI=NIA T[NS WE HAD TO FI<T \R WAY 9* BY 9*4 ,! POLICE1 NEV] LOA! TO BREAK UP AN>*I/ MEET+S1 /OOD COMPLAC5TLY BY & ?US 5C\RAG$ ! PATRIOTIC DI/URB]S :O SOMETIMES MADE SPEAK+ IMPOSSIBLE4 ,! DET]M9ATION ( \R ,SAN ,FRANCISCO GR\P & MY [N PRES5CE ( M9D SAV$ MORE ?AN ONE CRITICAL SITUATION4 ,9 ,SAN ,JOSE ! AUDI5CE LOOK$ SO ?REAT5+ ?AT ,I ?\<T IT BE/ TO DISP5SE ) A *AIRMAN & C>RY ! MEET+ MYSELF4 ,AS SOON AS ,I BEGAN TO SPEAK1 B$LAM BROKE LOOSE4 ,I TURN$ TO ! TR\BLE-MAK]S ) ! REQUE/ ?AT !Y *OOSE SOMEONE ( !IR [N CR[D TO CONDUCT ! MEET+4 0,GO ON60 !Y %\T$2 0Y\'RE ONLY BLUFF+4 ,Y\ KN[ Y\ W\LDN'T LET US RUN Y\R %[60 0,:Y NOT80 ,I CALL$ BACK4 0,:AT WE WANT IS TO HE> BO? SIDES1 ISN'T ?AT SO80 0,BET*] LIFE60 SOMEONE YELL$4 0,WE MU/ SECURE ORD] = ?AT1 MU/N'T WE80 ,I CONT9U$2 0,I SEEM UNABLE TO DO SO4 ,SUPPOS+ ONE ( Y\ BOYS COMES UP H]E & %[S ME H[ TO KEEP ! RE/ QUIET UNTIL ,I HAVE /AT$ MY SIDE ( ! /ORY4 ,AFT] ?AT Y\ CAN /ATE Y\RS4 ,N[ BE GOOD ,AM]ICAN SPORTS40 

,BOI/]\S CRIES1 %\TS ( 0,HURRAH10 CALLS ( 0,SM>T KID1 LET'S GIVE H] A *ANCE60 KEPT ! H\SE 9 CONFUSION = A FEW M9UTES4 ,F9ALLY AN ELD]LY MAN /EPP$ UP ON ! PLAT=M1 BANG$ HIS CANE ON ! TABLE1 & 9 A VOICE ?AT W\LD HAVE CRUMBL$ ! WALLS ( ,J]I*O BELL[$3 0,SIL5CE6 ,LET'S HE> :AT ! LADY HAS TO SAY60 ,!RE WAS NO FUR!R DI/URBANCE DUR+ MY SPEE* ( AN H\R1 & :5 ,I F9I%$1 !RE WAS ALMO/ AN OVATION4 

,AMONG ! MO/ 9T]E/+ PEOPLE ,I MET 9 ,SAN ,FRANCISCO W]E TWO GIRLS1 ! ,/RUNSKY SI/]S4 ,ANNA1 ! ELD]1 HAD ATT5D$ MY LECTURE ON ,POLITICAL ,ACTION4 ,%E HAD BE5 9DIGNANT1 ,I AFT]W>DS LE>N$1 BECAUSE ( MY 0UNFAIRNESS TO ! SOCIALI/S40 ,! NEXT DAY %E CAME TO VISIT ME 0= A LITTLE :ILE10 AS %E SAID4 ,%E REMA9$ ALL AFT]NOON1 & !N 9VIT$ ME TO H] HOME4 ,!RE ,I MET A GR\P ( /UD5TS AMONG !M ,JACK ,LONDON1 & ! Y\NG] ,/RUNSKY GIRL1 ,ROSE1 :O WAS ILL4 ,ANNA & ,I BECAME GREAT FRI5DS4 ,%E HAD BE5 SUSP5D$ FROM ,LEL& ,/AN=D ,UNIV]SITY BECAUSE %E HAD RECEIV$ A MALE VISITOR 9 H] ROOM 9/EAD ( 9 ! P>LOR4 ,I TOLD ,ANNA ( MY LIFE 9 ,VI5NA & ( ! M5 /UD5TS ) :OM WE US$ TO DR9K TEA1 SMOKE1 & DISCUSS ALL ?R\< ! NI<T4 ,ANNA ?\<T ?AT ! ,AM]ICAN WOMAN W\LD E/ABLI% H] RI<T TO LIB]TY & PRIVACY1 ONCE %E SECUR$ ! VOTE4 ,I DID NOT AGREE ) H]4 ,I >GU$ ?AT ! ,RUSSIAN WOMAN HAD LONG AGO E/ABLI%$1 EV5 )\T ! VOTE1 H] SOCIAL & MORAL 9DEP5D5CE4 ,\T ( IT HAD DEVELOP$ A BEAUTIFUL CAM>AD]IE1 :I* MAKES ! RELATIONS ( ! SEXES SO F9E & :OLESOME AMONG ADVANC$ ,RUSSIANS4 

,I WANT$ TO GO TO ,LOS ,ANGELES1 BUT ,I KNEW NO ONE !RE CAPABLE ( ORGANIZMG MY MEET+S4 ,! FEW ,G]MAN AN>*I/S ,I HAD CORRESPOND$ ) 9 ?AT CITY ADVIS$ ME NOT TO COME4 ,C]TA9 ( MY LECTURES ESPECIALLY ! ONE ON ! SEX QUE/ION1 !Y WROTE1 W\LD MILITATE AGA9/ !IR WORK4 ,I HAD ALMO/ AB&ON$ ! IDEA ( ,LOS ,ANGELES :5 5C\RAGEM5T CAME FROM AN UNEXPECT$ QU>T]4 ,A Y\NG MAN :OM ,I KNEW AS ,MR4 ,V41 FROM ,NEW ,MEXICO1 (F]$ TO ACT AS MY MANAG]4 ,HE WAS TO BE 9 ,LOS ,ANGELES ON BUS9ESS1 HE 9=M$ ME1 & HE W\LD BE GLAD TO HELP ME >RANGE ONE MEET+4 ,MR4 ,V41 :O WAS A F9E ,JEWI% TYPE1 AT FIR/ ATTRACT$ MY ATT5TION AT MY LECTURES2 HE ATT5D$ EV]Y EV5+ & ALWAYS ASK$ 9TELLIG5T QUE/IONS4 ,HE WAS ALSO A FREQU5T VISITOR AT ! H\SE ( ! ,ISAAKS & WAS EVID5TLY 9T]E/$ 9 \R IDEAS4 ,HE WAS A LIKABLE P]SON & ,I AGRE$ TO HAVE HIM ORGANIZE ONE LECTURE4 

,9 DUE TIME MY 0MANAG]0 WIR$ ME ?AT ALL WAS READY4 ,:5 ,I >RIV$1 HE MET ME AT ! /ATION ) A BUN* ( ROSES & TOOK ME TO A HOTEL4 ,IT WAS ONE ( ! BE/ 9 ,LOS ,ANGELES & ,I FELT IT 9CONSI/5T = ME TO PUT UP AT SU* A FA%IONABLE PLACE2 BUT ,MR4 ,V4 >GU$ ?AT IT WAS M]E PREJUDICE1 A ?+ HE HAD NOT EXPECT$ FROM ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN4 0,DON'T Y\ WANT ! MEET+ TO BE A SUCCESS80 HE ASK$4 0,( C\RSE40 ,I REPLI$10 BUT :AT HAS IT TO DO ) /AY+ 9 EXP5SIVE HOTELS80 0,V]Y MU*10 HE ASSUR$ ME2 0IT WILL HELP ADV]TISE ! LECTURE40 0,SU* MATT]S >E NOT CONSID]$ FROM ?AT VIEWPO9T 9 AN>*I/ RANKS10 ,I PROTE/$4 0,! WORSE = Y\R RANKS10 HE RETORT$2 0?AT'S :Y Y\ REA* SO FEW PEOPLE4 ,WAIT TILL ! MEET+2 !N WE WILL TALK40 ,I CONS5T$ TO REMA94 

,! LUXURI\S ROOM HE HAD RES]V$ = ME1 FILL$ ) FL[]S1 WAS ANO!R SURPRISE4 ,!N ,I DISCOV]$ A BLACK VELVET DRESS PREP>$ = ME4 0,IS ?IS GO+ TO BE A LECTURE OR A W$D+80 ,I DEM&$ ( ,MR4 ,V4 0,BO?10 HE REPLI$ PROMPTLY1 0?\< ! LECTURE IS TO COME FIR/40 

,HE HAD R5T$ ONE ( ! BE/ !AT]S 9 ! T[N1 & SURELY1 MY MANAG] EXPO/ULAT$1 ,I MU/ UND]/& ?AT ,I C\LD NOT APPE> 9 ! %ABBY DRESS ,I HAD WORN 9 ,SAN ,FRANCISCO4 ,MOREOV]1 IF ,I DID NOT LIKE ! G[N HE HAD *OS51 ,I C\LD *ANGE IT4 ,IT WAS NECESS>Y ?AT ,I MAKE ! BE/ POSSIBLE %[+ ON MY FIR/ VISIT TO ,LOS ,ANGELES4 0,BUT :AT 9T]E/ HAVE Y\ 9 DO+ ALL ?IS80 ,I P]SI/$4 0,Y\ TOLD ME Y\ >E NOT AN AN>*I/40 0,I'M ON ! ROAD TO BE+ ONE10 HE REPLI$4 0,N[ BE S5SIBLE4 ,Y\ AGRE$ TO HAVE ME AS Y\R MANAG]1 SO LET ME MANAGE ?IS AFFAIR 9 MY [N WAY40 0,>E ALL MANAG]S SO SOLICIT\S8 0 ,I 9QUIR$4 0,YES1 IF !Y KN[ !IR BUS9ESS & LIKE !IR >TI/S A LITTLE10 HE SAID4 

,! FOLL[+ DAYS ! PAP]S W]E FULL ( ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN1 0UND] ! MANAGEM5T ( A WEAL?Y MAN FROM ,NEW ,MEXICO40 ,TO AVOID ! REPORT]S ,MR4 ,V4 TOOK ME \T = LONG WALKS & RIDES 9 ! ,MEXICAN QU>T] ( ! T[N1 TO RE/AURANTS & CAFES4 ,ONE DAY HE 9DUC$ ME TO ACCOMPANY HIM TO A ,RUSSIAN FRI5D ( HIS1 :O TURN$ \T TO BE ! MO/ FA%IONABLE TAILOR 9 T[N & :O TALK$ ME 9TO LETT+ HIM TAKE MY MEASUREM5TS = A SUIT4 ,ON ! AFT]NOON ( ! LECTURE ,I F\ND A SIMPLE BUT BEAUTIFUL BLACK *IFFON DRESS 9 MY ROOM4 ,?+S APPE>$ MY/]I\SLY1 AS 9 ! FAIRY-TALES MY ,G]MAN NURSE US$ TO TELL ME4 ,ALMO/ EV]Y DAY BR\<T NEW SURPRISES1 HAPP5+ 9 A /RANGE BUT UNO/5TATI\S MANN]4 

,! MEET+ WAS L>GE & RA!R TUMULTU\S1 ) PATRIOTS PRES5T 9 GREAT NUMB]S4 ,!Y REPEAT$LY ATTEMPT$ TO CREATE CONFUSION1 BUT ! CLEV] *AIRMAN%IP ( ! 0RI* MAN FROM ,NEW ,MEXICO0 /E]$ ! EV5+ TO A PEACEFUL CONCLUSION4 ,!N MANY PEOPLE CAME UP TO 9TRODUCE !MSELVES AS RADICALS & TO URGE ME TO REMA9 9 ,LOS ,ANGELES1 (F]+ TO >RANGE MORE LECTURES = ME4 ,FROM ! OBSCURITY ( A COMPLETE /RANG] ,I HAD BECOME ALMO/ A CELEBRITY1 ?ANKS TO ! EF=TS ( MY MANAG]4 

,LATE ?AT EV5+1 9 A LITTLE ,SPANI% RE/AURANT1 AWAY FROM ! CR[DS1 ,MR4 ,V4 ASK$ ME TO M>RY HIM4 ,UND] ORD9>Y CIRCUM/ANCES ,I %\LD HAVE CONSID]$ SU* AN (F] AN 9SULT1 BUT EV]Y?+ ! MAN HAD DONE WAS 9 SU* GOOD TA/E ?AT ,I C\LD NOT BE ANGRY ) HIM4 0,I & M>RIAGE60 ,I EXCLAIM$4 0,Y\ DIDN'T ASK :E!R ,I LOVE Y\4 ,BESIDES1 HAVE Y\ SO LITTLE FAI? 9 LOVE ?AT Y\ MU/ PUT A LOCK & KEY ON IT80 0,WELL10 HE REPLI$1 0,I DON'T BELIEVE 9 Y\R FREE-LOVE /UFF4 ,I %\LD WANT Y\ TO CONT9UE Y\R LECTURES2 ,I'D BE HAPPY TO HELP Y\ & SECURE Y\ SO ?AT Y\ WILL BE ABLE TO DO MORE & BETT] WORK4 ,BUT ,I C\LDN'T %>E Y\ ) ANYONE ELSE40 

,! OLD REFRA96 ,H[ (T5 HAD ,I HE>D IT S9CE ,I HAD BECOME A FREE HUMAN BE+4 ,RADICAL OR CONS]VATIVE1 EV]Y MALE WANTS TO B9D ! WOMAN TO HIMSELF4 ,I TOLD HIM FLATLY3 0,NO60 

,HE REFUS$ TO TAKE MY ANSW] AS F9AL4 ,I MI<T *ANGE MY M9D1 HE SAID4 ,I ASSUR$ HIM !RE WAS NO *ANCE ( MY M>RY+ HIM3 ,I DID NOT PROPOSE TO =GE *A9S = MYSELF4 ,I HAD DONE IT ONCE BE=E2 IT %\LD NOT HAPP5 AGA94 ,I WANT$ ONLY 0?AT FREE-LOVE /UFF 02 NO O!R 0/UFF0 HAD ANY MEAN+ TO ME4 ,BUT ,MR4 ,V4 WAS NOT 9 ! LEA/ P]TURB$4 ,HIS LOVE WAS NOT ( ! MOM5T ONLY1 HE FELT CONFID5T4 ,HE W\LD WAIT4 

,I BADE HIM GOOD-BYE1 LEFT ! FA%IONABLE HOTEL1 & W5T TO /AY ) SOME ,JEWI% COMRADES ,I HAD MET4 ,= ANO!R WEEK ,I LECTUR$ AT WELL- ATT5D$ MEET+S1 LAT] ORGANIZ+ A GR\P ( SYMPA?IZ]S TO CONT9UE ! WORK4 ,!N ,I RETURN$ TO ,SAN ,FRANCISCO4 

,AS A SEQUEL TO MY ACTIVITIES 9 ,LOS ,ANGELES AN >TICLE APPE>$ 9 ! ,FREIHEIT D5\NC+ ME = HAV+ /AY$ 9 AN EXP5SIVE HOTEL & HAV+ ALL[$ A RI* MAN TO >RANGE MY MEET+4 ,MY BEHAVIOR HAD 0QUE]$ AN>*ISM ) ! WORK]S10 ! WRIT] CLAIM$4 ,CONSID]+ ?AT AN>*ISM HAD NEV] BE=E HAD A HE>+ 9 ,LOS ,ANGELES 9 ,5GLI%1 & ?AT AS A RESULT ( MY MEET+ SY/EMATIC PROPAG&A WAS N[ AB\T TO BE C>RI$ ON AMONG ,AM]ICANS1 ! *>GES SEEM$ TO ME RIDICUL\S4 ,IT WAS ANO!R ( ! MANY SILLY ACCUSATIONS ?AT (T5 APPE>$ AGA9/ ME 9 ,MO/'S WEEKLY4 ,I IGNOR$ IT1 BUT ,FREE ,SOCIETY PUBLI%$ A REPLY BY A ,G]MAN COMRADE :O CALL$ ATT5TION TO ! GOOD RESULTS ACCOMPLI%$ BY MY VISIT TO ,LOS ,ANGELES4 

,9 ,NEW ,YORK ,$ & MY BRO!R ,YEGOR MET ME AT ! /ATION4 ,YEGOR WAS OV]JOY$ TO HAVE ME BACK2 ,$1 ALWAYS RES]V$ 9 PUBLIC1 N[ APPE>$ UNUSUALLY SO4 ,I ?\<T IT WAS DUE TO MY BRO!R'S PRES5CE1 BUT :5 HE CONT9U$ TO KEEP ALO( EV5 :5 WE W]E ALONE1 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT SOME *ANGE HAD TAK5 PLACE 9 HIM4 ,HE WAS AS ATT5TIVE & CONSID]ATE AS USUAL1 & \R HOME AS SWEET AS EV]2 BUT HE HAD BECOME DIFF]5T4 

,= MY P>T1 ,I WAS NOT CONSCI\S ( ANY EMOTIONAL *ANGE T[>DS ,$--,I KNEW IT EV5 BE=E MY RETURN4 ,N[1 9 HIS PRES5CE1 ,I FELT SURE ?AT1 :ATEV] \R 9TELLECTUAL DIFF]5CES1 ,I /ILL LOV$ & WANT$ HIM4 ,BUT HIS FRIGID BEHAVIOR HELD ME 9 *ECK4 

,AL?\< V]Y BUSY DUR+ MY T\R1 ,I HAD NOT NEGLECT$ ! COMMISSION ,$ HAD GIV5 ME = HIS FIRM4 ,I HAD SOLICIT$ ORD]S = ! 09V5TION0 & HAD SUCCE$$ 9 CLOS+ SEV]AL SUB/ANTIAL CONTRACTS ) L>GE /ATION]Y /ORES 9 ,WE/]N CITIES4 ,$ WAS DELI<T$ & PRAIS$ MY EF=TS4 ,BUT AB\T MY T\R & MY WORK1 HE ASK$ NO QUE/IONS & %[$ NOT ! SLI<TE/ 9T]E/4 ,?IS S]V$ TO ADD RES5TM5T TO MY DISSATISFACTION ) ! CONDITION ( ?+S AT HOME4 ,! HAV5 ?AT HAD GIV5 ME SO MU* JOY & PEACE N[ BECAME /IFL+4 

,=TUNATELY !RE WAS NO TIME = BROOD+4 ,! TEXTILE /RIKE 9 ,SUMMIT1 ,NEW ,J]SEY1 WAS DEM&+ MY S]VICES4 ,IT PRES5T$ ! USUAL SITUATION2 MEET+S W]E EI!R PROHIBIT$ OR BROK5 UP BY POLICE CLUBS4 ,IT REQUIR$ SKILLFUL MANAEUVR+ TO MEET 9 ! WOODS \TSIDE ( ,SUMMIT4 ,I WAS KEPT V]Y MU* 5GAG$1 ) H>DLY ANY TIME TO SEE ,$4 ,ON ! R>E OCCASIONS :5 WE W]E TOGE!R1 HE W\LD REMA9 SIL5T4 ,ONLY HIS EYES SPOKE & !Y W]E FULL ( REPROA*4 

,:5 ! /RIKE WAS OV] ,I DECID$ TO HAVE IT \T ) ,$4 ,I C\LD BE> ! SITUATION NO LONG]4 ,I DID NOT GET TO IT = SEV]AL WEEKS1 H[EV]1 [+ TO ! 9T]NATIONAL HUNT = AN>*I/S ?AT RESULT$ FROM ! %OOT+ ( ! ,EMPRESS ( ,AU/RIA BY ,LUC*5I4 ,?\< ,I HAD NEV] BE=E HE>D ! NAME ( ! MAN1 ,I WAS NEV]!LESS %AD[$ BY ! POLICE & PILLORI$ BY ! PRESS AS IF ,I W]E ! ONE :O HAD KILL$ ! UN=TUNATE WOMAN4 ,I REFUS$ TO RAISE ! CRY ( 0,CRUCIFY6 0 AGA9/ ,LUC*5I1 ESPECIALLY BECAUSE ,I HAD LE>N$ ?R\< ! ,ITALIAN AN>*I/ PRESS ?AT HE HAD BE5 A *ILD ( ! /REET1 =C$ 9TO MILIT>Y S]VICE 9 HIS Y\?4 ,HE HAD WITNESS$ ! SAVAG]Y ( W> ON ! ,AFRICAN FRONT1 HAD BE5 BRUTALLY TREAT$ 9 ! ,>MY1 & HAD L$ A LIFE ( WRET*$NESS EV] S9CE4 ,IT WAS %E] DESP]ATION ?AT HAD DRIV5 ! MAN TO HIS DE$ ( MISPLAC$ PROTE/4 ,EV]Y:]E 9 \R SOCIAL S*EME LIFE WAS *EAP1 WA/$1 & DEGRAD$4 ,:Y %\LD ?IS BOY1 !N1 BE EXPECT$ TO HAVE ANY REV]5CE = IT8 ,I DECL>$ MY SYMPA?Y ) ! WOMAN :O HAD LONG BE5 P]SONA NON GRATA AT ! ,AU/RIAN C\RT & :O !RE=E C\LD NOT HAVE BE5 RESPONSIBLE = ! CRIMES COMMITT$ BY ! ,CR[N4 ,I SAW NO PROPAG&I/IC VALUE 9 ,LUC*5I'S ACT4 ,HE WAS A VICTIM NO LESS ?AN ! ,EMPRESS2 ,I REFUS$ TO JO9 9 ! SAVAGE CONDEMNATION ( ! ONE OR 9 ! SICK5+ S5TIM5TALITY EXPRESS$ = ! O!R4 

,MY ATTITUDE AGA9 CALL$ =? ! ANA!MA ( ! PRESS & ! POLICE4 ,NATURALLY ,I WAS NOT ALONE2 NE>LY EV]Y LEAD+ AN>*I/ ?R\<\T ! WORLD HAD TO 5DURE SIMIL> ATTACKS4 ,BUT 9 ! ,/ATES1 & P>TICUL>LY 9 ,NEW ,YORK ,CITY1 ,I WAS ! BLACK %EEP4 

,LUC*5I'S ACT HAD EVID5TLY /RUCK T]ROR 9TO ! HE>TS ( ! CR[N$ & EV5 ! ELECT$ RUL]S1 BETWE5 :OM ! BONDS ( SYMPA?Y W]E EVID5T4 ,! SECRET CONCLAVES ( ! P[]S RESULT$ 9 ! DECISION TO HOLD AN 9T]NATIONAL ANTI-AN>*I/ CONGRESS 9 ,ROME4 ,! REVOLUTION>Y & LIB]TY-LOV+ ELEM5TS 9 ! ,UNIT$ ,/ATES & ,EUROPE REALIZ$ ! IMP5D+ DANG] TO FRE$OM ( ?\<T & EXPRESSION & IMM$IATELY SET TO WORK TO /EM ! TIDE4 ,EV]Y:]E MEET+S W]E HELD TO PROTE/ AGA9/ ! 9T]NATIONAL CONSPIRACY ( AU?ORITY4 ,9 ,NEW ,YORK NO HALL C\LD BE F\ND :]E MY APPE>ANCE W\LD BE TOL]AT$4 

,9 ! MID/ ( ?IS WORK CAME AN URG5T REQUE/ FROM ! ,ALEX&] ,B]KMAN ,DEF5SE ,ASSOCIATION 9 ,PITTSBUR< = GREAT] ACTIVITY 9 BEHALF ( HIS P>DON4 ,! CASE1 :I* WAS TO BE HE>D 9 ,SEPTEMB]1 WAS N[ SET = ,DECEMB] #b#a4 ,! ATTORNEYS ADVIS$ ?AT ! DECISION ( ! ,BO>D ( ,P>DONS W\LD L>GELY DEP5D ON ! /& ( ,&REW ,C>NEGIE 9 ! MATT] & !RE=E !Y URG$ SEE+ ! /EEL-MAGNATE4 ,IT WAS AN 9ANE SUGGE/ION1 :I* W\LD C]TA9LY NOT BE APPROV$ BY ,SA%A2 SU* A /EP WAS SURE TO PUT US ALL 9 A RIDICUL\S POSITION4 ,I KNEW NO ONE LIKELY TO CONS5T TO APPROA* ,C>NEGIE1 & ,I WAS POSITIVE HE W\LD NOT ACT 9 ! CASE1 ANYWAY4 ,SOME ( \R WELL-WI%]S 9SI/$1 NEV]!LESS1 ?AT HE WAS HUMANE & 9T]E/$ 9 ADVANC$ IDEAS4 ,AS PRO( ( IT !Y ADDUC$ ! FACT ?AT1 SOME TIME PREVI\SLY1 ,C>NEGIE HAD 9VIT$ ,PET] ,KROPOTK9 TO BE HIS GUE/4 ,I KNEW ?AT ,PET] HAD REFUS$ ! D\BTFUL HONOR1 REPLY+ 9 EFFECT ?AT HE C\LD NOT ACCEPT ! HOSPITALITY ( A MAN :OSE 9T]E/S HAD IMPOS$ AN 9HUMANLY EXCESSIVE S5T5CE ON HIS COMRADE ,ALEX&] ,B]KMAN & CONT9U$ TO KEEP HIM BURI$ 9 ! ,WE/]N ,P5IT5TI>Y4 ,C>NEGIE'S EAG]NESS TO HAVE ,KROPOTK9 VISIT HIM WAS AN 9DICATION ?AT HE W\LD LI/5 FAVORABLY TO A PLEA = ! LIB]ATION ( ,SA%A1 SOME ( \R FRI5DS HELD4 ,I OPPOS$ ! IDEA1 BUT F9ALLY SUCCOMB$ TO ! >GUM5TS ( ,JU/US & ,$1 :O PO9T$ \T ?AT WE %\LD NOT ALL[ \R [N FEEL+S TO /& 9 ! WAY ( ,SA%A'S FRE$OM4 ,JU/US SUGGE/$ ?AT WE WRITE TO ,B5JAM9 ,R4 ,TUCK]1 REQUE/+ HIM TO SEE ,C>NEGIE 9 ! MATT]4 

,I KNEW ,TUCK] ONLY ?R\< HIS WRIT+S 9 ,LIB]TY1 ! 9DIVIDUALI/-AN>*I/ PUBLICATION1 ( :I* HE WAS F\ND] & $ITOR4 ,HE WIELD$ A =CEFUL P5 & HE HAD DONE MU* TO 9TRODUCE HIS READ]S TO SOME ( ! BE/ WORKS 9 ,G]MAN & ,FR5* LIT]ATURE4 ,BUT HIS ATTITUDE T[>DS COMMUNI/-AN>*I/S WAS V]Y N>R[ & *>G$ ) 9SULT+ RANCOR4 0,TUCK] DOESN'T IMPRESS ME AS A L>GE NATURE10 ,I SAID TO ,JU/US1 :O 9SI/$ ?AT ,I WAS WRONG & ?AT WE MU/ AT LEA/ GIVE ! MAN A *ANCE4 ,A %ORT LETT]1 SIGN$ BY ,JU/US ,S*WAB1 ,$ ,BRADY & ME1 WAS S5T TO ,B5JAM9 ,R4 ,TUCK]1 /AT+ \R CASE & ASK+ :E!R HE W\LD CONS5T TO SEE ,C>NEGIE1 :O WAS EXPECT$ %ORTLY FROM ,SCOTL&4 

,TUCK]'S REPLY WAS A L5G?Y EPI/LE SETT+ =? ! CONDITIONS ON :I* HE W\LD APPROA* ,C>NEGIE4 ,HE W\LD1 HE WROTE1 SAY TO HIM3 0,9 DET]M9+ Y\R ATTITUDE Y\ SURELY WILL TAKE IT = GRANT$1 AS ,I TAKE IT = GRANT$1 ?AT !Y APPROA* Y\ AS P5IT5T S9N]S ASK+ =GIV5ESS & SEEK+ REMISSION ( P5ALTY4 ,!IR V]Y APPE>ANCE BE=E Y\ 9 P]SON OR BY PROXY ON SU* AN ]R& MU/ BE TAK5 TO 9DICATE ?AT :AT !Y ONCE REG>D$ AS A WISE ACT ( H]OISM !Y N[ REG>D AS A FOOLI% ACT ( B>B>ISM 444 ?AT ! SIX YE>S ( ,MR4 ,B]KMAN'S IMPRISONM5T HAVE CONV9C$ !M ( ! ]ROR ( !IR WAYS4444 ,ANY O!R EXPLANATION ( ! PRAY] ( !SE PETITION]S IS 9CONSI/5T ) !IR L(TY *>ACT]2 C]TA9LY IT IS NOT TO BE SUPPOS$ = A MOM5T ?AT M5 & WOM5 ( !IR C\RAGE & DIGNITY AFT] %OOT+ A MAN D[N DELIB]ATELY & 9 COLD BLOOD W\LD !N DESC5D TO ! BASELY HUMILIAT+ C\RSE ( BEGG+ !IR VICTIMS TO GRANT !M ! FRE$OM TO ASSAULT !M AGA94444 ,I MYSELF DO NOT APPE> H]E TODAY BE=E Y\ AS A P5IT5T S9N]4 ,9 MY RECORD 9 ?IS MATT] !RE IS NO?+ = :I* ,I HAVE OCCASION TO APOLOGIZE4 ,I RES]VE ALL MY RI<TS4444 ,I HAVE REFUS$ TO COMMIT1 C\NSEL1 OR SANCTION VIOL5CE1 BUT S9CE CIRCUM/ANCES MAY >ISE :5 A POLICY ( VIOL5CE MI<T SEEM ADVISABLE1 ,I DECL9E TO SURR5D] MY LIB]TY ( *OICE44440 

,! LETT] CONTA9$ NOT A WORD AB\T ,SA%A'S S5T5CE1 :I*1 EV5 FROM A LEGAL VIEW-PO9T1 WAS B>B>\S2 NOT A WORD AB\T ! TORTURE HE HAD ALREADY 5DUR$2 NOT A S+LE EXPRESSION ( ORD9>Y HUMANITY FROM ,MR4 ,TUCK]1 ! EXPON5T ( A GREAT SOCIAL IDEAL4 ,NO?+ BUT COLD CALCULATION H[ TO BELITTLE ,SA%A & HIS FRI5DS :ILE AT ! SAME TIME ADVANC+ HIS [N L(TY POSITION4 ,HE WAS 9CAPABLE ( SEE+ ?AT ONE MI<T FEEL A WRONG DONE TO O!RS MORE 9T5SELY ?AN ONE DONE TO ONESELF4 ,HE C\LD NOT GRASP ! PSY*OLOGY ( A MAN :OM ! BRUTALITY ( ,FRICK DUR+ ! ,HOME/EAD LOCK-\T HAD CAUS$ TO EXPRESS HIS PROTE/ BY AN ACT ( VIOL5CE4 ,NOR WAS HE APP>5TLY WILL+ TO COMPREH5D ?AT ,SA%A'S FRI5DS C\LD 5DEAVOR TO SECURE HIS LIB]ATION )\T NECESS>ILY HAV+ BECOME CONV9C$ ( 0! ]ROR ( !IR WAYS40 

,WE N[ TURN$ TO ,]NE/ ,CROSBY1 A LEAD+ S+LE-TAX] & ,TOL/OYAN1 :O WAS ALSO A GIFT$ POET & WRIT]4 ,HE WAS A MAN ( A V]Y DIFF]5T CALIB]1 UND]/&+ & SYMPA!TIC EV5 :]E HE DID NOT 5TIRELY AGREE4 ,HE VISIT$ US 9 ! COMPANY ( A Y\NG] MAN1 :OM ,I KNEW TO BE ,LEON>D ,D4 ,ABBOTT4 ,:5 WE PLAC$ \R CASE BE=E ,MR4 ,CROSBY1 HE AGRE$ AT ONCE TO SEE ,C>NEGIE4 ,!RE WAS ONLY ONE ?+ ?AT TR\BL$ HIM1 HE EXPLA9$4 ,IF ,C>NEGIE %\LD DEM& A GU>ANTEE ?AT ,ALEX&] ,B]KMAN1 :5 FREE1 W\LD NOT AGA9 COMMIT AN ACT ( VIOL5CE1 :AT ANSW] WAS HE TO GIVE8 ,HE HIMSELF W\LD NEV] ASK SU* A ?+1 AW>E ?AT NO ONE C\LD SAY :AT HE MI<T DO UND] PRESSURE4 ,BUT AS ! 9T]M$I>Y HE FELT IT NECESS>Y TO BE 9=M$ BY US ON ! MATT]4 ,( C\RSE1 IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE = US TO GIVE SU* A GU>ANTEE1 & ,I KNEW ?AT ,SA%A W\LD NEV] MAKE ANY PL$GES ( 0RE=M 0 OR ALL[ !M TO BE MADE = HIM 

,! MATT] F9ALLY 5D$ ) \R DECISION NOT TO APPLY TO ,C>NEGIE AT ALL4 ,SA%A'S CASE WAS NOT EV5 BR\<T BE=E ! ,BO>D ( ,P>DONS AT ! TIME 9T5D$4 ,ITS MEMB]S W]E F\ND TO BE TOO PREJUDIC$ AGA9/ HIM1 & IT WAS HOP$ ?AT ! NEW ,BO>D1 :I* WAS TO TAKE (FICE 9 ! FOLL[+ YE>1 MI<T PROVE MORE IMP>TIAL4 

,AFT] LONG EF=TS TO PROCURE A HALL = \R PROTE/ MEET+ AGA9/ ! ANTI-AN>*I/ CONGRESS WE SUCCE$$ 9 OBTA9+ ,COOP] ,UNION4 ,IT /ILL ADH]$ TO ! PR9CIPLE E/ABLI%$ BY ITS F\ND] TO GIVE EV]Y POLITICAL OP9ION A HE>+4 ,MY FRI5DS FE>$ ?AT ,I %\LD BE >RE/$1 BUT ,I WAS DET]M9$ TO SEE ! ?+ ?R\<4 ,I FELT DESP]ATE AT ! ATTEMPT TO CRU% ! LA/ VE/IGES ( FREE SPEE*1 & SICK AT HE>T OV] MY P]SONAL LIFE AT HOME4 ,9 FACT1 ,I WAS REALLY HOP+ = AN >RE/ AS AN ESCAPE FROM EV]YBODY & EV]Y?+4 

,ON ! EVE ( ! MEET+ ,$ UNEXPECT$LY BROKE HIS SIL5CE4 0,I CAN'T BE> TO HAVE Y\ FACE ?IS DANG]10 HE SAID1 0)\T TRY+ ONCE MORE TO REA* Y\4 ,:ILE Y\ W]E ON T\R1 ,I HAD DEF9ITELY DECID$ TO /IFLE MY LOVE & TRY TO MEET Y\ ON T]MS ( COMRADE%IP4 ,BUT ,I REALIZ$ ! ABSURDITY ( SU* A DECISION ! MOM5T ,I SAW Y\ AT ! /ATION4 ,S9CE !N ,I HAVE GONE ?R\< A SEV]E /RUGGLE1 DECID+ EV5 TO LEAVE Y\ ALTOGE!R4 ,BUT ,I CANNOT DO IT4 ,I W\LD LET ?+S DRIFT TILL Y\ GO ON T\R AGA91 BUT N[ ?AT Y\ >E 9 DANG] ( >RE/1 ,I HAVE TO SPEAK \T1 TO TRY TO BRIDGE ! GAP BETWE5 US40 

0,BUT !RE IS NO GAP10 ,I EXCLAIM$ EXCIT$LY1 0UNLESS Y\ P]SI/ 9 MAK+ ONE6 ,( C\RSE1 ,I HAVE \TGR[N MANY ( ! CONCEPTIONS /ILL SO DE> TO Y\4 ,I CAN'T HELP IT2 BUT ,I LOVE Y\1 DON'T Y\ UND]/&8 ,I LOVE Y\1 NO MATT] :AT OR :O COMES 9TO MY LIFE4 ,I NE$ Y\1 & ,I NE$ \R HOME4 ,:Y WILL Y\ NOT BE FREE & BIG & TAKE :AT ,I CAN GIVE80 

,$ PROMIS$ TO TRY AGA91 TO DO ANY?+ NOT TO LOSE ME4 ,\R REUNION BR\<T BACK MEMORIES ( \R Y\NG LOVE 9 MY LITTLE FLAT 9 ! ,BOHEMIAN ,REPUBLIC4 

,! MEET+ AT ,COOP] ,UNION PASS$ )\T TR\BLE4 ,JOHANN ,MO/1 :O HAD PROMIS$ TO ADDRESS ! AUDI5CE1 FAIL$ TO APPE>4 ,HE W\LD NOT SPEAK ON ! SAME PLAT=M ) ME2 HE /ILL PRES]V$ ALL HIS BITT]NESS4 

,?REE WEEKS LAT] ,$ FELL ILL ) PNEUMONIA4 ,ALL MY C>E & LOVE W]E PITT$ AGA9/ ! GREAT DREAD ,I FELT AT ! POSSIBILITY ( LOS+ ! PRECI\S LIFE4 ,! BIG /RONG MAN1 :O US$ TO MAKE LI<T ( ILLNESS & :O HAD (T5 H9T$ 0?AT SU* ?+S W]E 9H]5T ONLY 9 ! FEMALE SPECIES10 N[ CLUNG TO ME LIKE AN 9FANT & W\LD NOT HAVE ME \T ( SI<T EV5 = A MOM5T4 ,HIS IMPATI5CE & IRASCIBILITY TRANSC5D$ ?OSE ( T5 SICK WOM54 ,BUT HE WAS SO ILL ?AT ,I DID NOT M9D HIS CON/ANT DEM&S UPON MY C>E & ATT5TION4 

,F$YA & ,CLAUS CAME TO (F] !IR HELP AS SOON AS !Y LE>N$ ( ,$'S CONDITION4 ,ONE ( !M W\LD RELIEVE ME AT NI<T TO P]MIT ME A FEW H\RS' RE/4 ,DUR+ ! CRISIS MY ANXIETY WAS TOO 9T5SE = SLEEP4 ,$ WAS 9 A HI< FEV]1 TOSS+ AB\T & EV5 TRY+ TO JUMP \T ( B$4 ,HIS VACANT LOOK GAVE NO 9DICATION ( RECOGNITION1 YET HE W\LD GR[ MORE RE/LESS AT ! T\* ( EI!R ( ! BOYS4 ,AT ONE MOM5T :5 HE HAD GOT QUITE FR5ZI$1 ,F$YA & ,CLAUS W]E AB\T TO TRY TO HOLD HIM D[N BY =CE4 0,LET ME MANAGE HIM MYSELF10 ,I SAID1 B5D+ OV] MY D>L+1 TRY+ TO P\R MY V]Y S\L 9TO HIS WILD EYES & PRESS+ HIM TO MY ANXI\S HE>T4 ,$ /RUGGL$ = A :ILE1 !N HIS RIGID BODY RELAX$1 & ) A SI< HE FELL BACK ON HIS PILL[1 ALL COV]$ ) SWEAT4 

,AT LA/ ! CRISIS WAS OV]4 ,9 ! MORN+ ,$ OP5$ HIS EYES4 ,HIS H& GROP$ = ME1 & 9 A FA9T VOICE HE ASK$3 0,DE> NURSE1 MU/ ,I KICK ! BUCKET80 0,NOT ?IS TIME10 ,I COM=T$ HIM1 0BUT Y\ MU/ BE V]Y QUIET40 ,HIS FACE LIT UP ) HIS OLD BEAUTIFUL SMILE1 & HE DOZ$ (F AGA94 

,:5 ,$ WAS ALREADY ON HIS FEET1 ?\< /ILL V]Y WEAK1 ,I HAD TO LEAVE = A MEET+ ,I HAD PROMIS$ TO ADDRESS LONG BE=E HIS ILLNESS4 ,F$YA REMA9$ ) HIM4 ,:5 ,I RETURN$1 LATE AT NI<T1 ,F$YA WAS GONE & ,$ FA/ ASLEEP4 ,!RE WAS A NOTE FROM ,F$YA SAY+ ?AT ,$ WAS FEEL+ F9E & HAD URG$ HIM TO GO HOME4 

,9 ! MORN+ ,$ WAS /ILL ASLEEP4 ,I TOOK HIS PULSE & NOTIC$ ?AT HE WAS BREA?+ HEAVILY4 ,I BECAME AL>M$ & S5T = ,DOCTOR ,H(FMANN4 ,! LATT] EXPRESS$ CONC]N OV] ,$'S UNUSUALLY PROTRACT$ SLEEP4 ,HE ASK$ TO SEE ! BOX ( MORPH9E HE HAD LEFT = ,$ TO TAKE4 ,F\R P[D]S W]E MISS+6 ,I HAD GIV5 ,$ ONE BE=E GO+ AWAY1 & ,I HAD IMPRESS$ UPON ,F$YA ?AT HE WAS NOT TO GET ANY MORE4 ,$ HAD TAK5 F\R TIMES ! ORD9>Y DOSE--NO D\BT 9 AN ATTEMPT TO 5D HIS LIFE6 ,HE WANT$ TO DIE--N[--AFT] ,I HAD B>ELY RESCU$ HIM FROM ! GRAVE6 ,:Y8 ,:Y8 

0,WE MU/ GET HIM ON HIS FEET & WALK ! FLOOR ) HIM10 ! DOCTOR ORD]$2 0HE IS ALIVE1 HE IS BREA?+1 WE MU/ KEEP HIM ALIVE40 ,WE SUPPORT$ HIS DROOP+ BODY UP & D[N ! ROOM1 FROM TIME TO TIME APPLY+ ICE TO HIS H&S & FACE4 ,GRADUALLY HIS FACE BEGAN TO LOSE ITS DEA?LY PALLOR1 & HIS LIDS RESPOND$ TO PRESSURE4 0,:O W\LD EV] HAVE ?\<T ?AT A RES]V$ & QUIET P]SON LIKE ,$ W\LD BE CAPABLE ( SU* A ?+80 ! DOCTOR REM>K$4 0,HE'LL SLEEP ON = MANY MORE H\RS1 BUT NO NE$ TO WORRY4 ,HE'LL LIVE4 

,I WAS %OCK$ BY ,$'S ATTEMPT$ SUICIDE & TRI$ TO FA?OM :AT P>TICUL> CAUSE HAD 9DUC$ HIS ACTION4 ,ON SEV]AL OCCASIONS ,I WAS ON ! PO9T ( ASK+ HIM = AN EXPLANATION1 BUT HE WAS 9 SU* *E]FUL HUMOR & RECUP]AT+ SO WELL ?AT ,I WAS AFRAID TO DIG UP ! <A/LY AFFAIR4 ,HE HIMSELF NEV] REF]R$ TO IT4 

,!N ONE DAY HE SURPRIS$ ME BY M5TION+ ?AT HE HAD NOT 9T5D$ TO TAKE HIS LIFE AT ALL4 ,MY LEAV+ HIM TO GO TO ! MEET+ :5 HE WAS /ILL SO ILL HAD 5RAG$ HIM4 ,HE KNEW FROM PA/ EXP]I5CE ?AT HE C\LD /& A L>GE DOSE ( MORPH9E1 & HE SWALL[$ SEV]AL P[D]S1 0JU/ TO SC>E Y\ A LITTLE & CURE Y\ ( Y\R MANIA = MEET+S1 :I* /OPS AT NO?+1 NOT EV5 AT ! ILLNESS ( ! MAN Y\ PRET5D TO LOVE40 

,HIS WORDS /AGG]$ ME4 ,I FELT ?AT ! SEV5 YE>S ( \R LIFE TOGE!R HAD FAIL$ TO MAKE ,$ GRASP ! PA9 & TRAVAIL ( MY 9N] GR[?4 ,A 0MANIA = MEET+S 0--?AT WAS ALL ?AT IT MEANT TO HIM4 

,!RE FOLL[$ DAYS ( CONFLICT BETWE5 MY LOVE = ,$ & ! REALIZATION ?AT LIFE HAD LO/ ITS CONT5T & MEAN+4 ,AT ! 5D ( MY BITT] /RUGGLE ,I KNEW ?AT ,I MU/ LEAVE HIM4 ,I TOLD ,$ ?AT ,I %\LD HAVE TO GO1 = GOOD4 

0,Y\R DESP]ATE ACT TO TE> ME FROM MY WORK10 ,I SAID1 0HAS CONV9C$ ME ?AT Y\ HAVE NO FAI? 9 ME OR MY AIMS4 ,:ATEV] LITTLE ( IT Y\ HAD 9 =M] YE>S IS NO MORE4 ,)\T Y\R FAI? & Y\R COOP]ATION \R RELATION%IP HAS NO VALUE TO ME40 0,I LOVE Y\ MORE N[ ?AN ,I DID 9 ! E>LY DAYS60 HE 9T]RUPT$ ME EXCIT$LY4 0,IT IS NO USE1 DE> ,$1 TO DECEIVE \RSELVES OR EA* O!R10 ,I CONT9U$4 0,Y\ WANT ME ONLY AS Y\R WIFE4 ,WELL1 ?AT IS NOT 5\< = ME4 ,I NE$ UND]/&+1 H>MONY1 ! EXALTATION ?AT RESULTS FROM UNITY ( IDEAS & PURPOSE4 ,:Y GO ON UNTIL \R LOVE IS POISON$ BY BITT]NESS & MADE UGLY ) RECRIM9ATION8 ,N[ WE CAN /ILL P>T AS FRI5DS4 ,I'M GO+ ON T\R ANYWAY2 IT WILL BE LESS PA9FUL ?AT WAY40 

,HIS FR5ZI$ PAC+ ( ! ROOM CAME TO A /OP4 ,HE LOOK$ AT ME 9 SIL5CE1 AS IF TRY+ TO P5ETRATE MY 9N]MO/ BE+4 0,Y\'RE ALL WRONG1 Y\'RE T]RIBLY WRONG10 HE CRI$ DESP]ATELY2 !N HE TURN$ & LEFT ! ROOM4 

,I BEGAN PREP>ATIONS = MY T\R4 ,! DAY ( DEP>TURE WAS APPROA*+1 & ,$ PLEAD$ ) ME TO P]MIT HIM TO SEE ME (F4 ,I DECL9$2 ,I WAS AFRAID ,I MI<T GIVE WAY AT ! LA/ MOM5T4 ,?AT DAY ,$ CAME HOME AT NOON TO HAVE LUN* ) ME4 ,BO? ( US PRET5D$ TO BE *E]FUL4 ,BUT AT P>T+ HIS FACE D>K5$ = A MOM5T4 ,BE=E LEAV+ HE EMBRAC$ ME1 SAY+3 0,?IS ISN'T ! 5D1 DE>E/--IT CANNOT BE6 ,?IS IS Y\R HOME1 N[ & = EV]60 ,I C\LD NOT SPEAK MY HE>T WAS TOO FULL ( GRIEF4 ,:5 ! DOOR HAD CLOS$ ON ,$1 ,I WAS UNABLE TO RE/RA9 MY SOBS4 ,EV]Y OBJECT AB\T ME ASSUM$ A /RANGE FASC9ATION1 SPEAK+ TO ME 9 MANY TONGUES4 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT TO L+] MEANT TO WEAK5 MY DET]M9ATION TO LEAVE ,$4 ,) PALPITAT+ HE>T ,I WALK$ \T ( ! H\SE ,I HAD LOV$ & *]I%$ AS MY HOME4 

,FROM 3 ,AN>*Y ,>*IVES4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,DECEMB] #c#a1 #aic 3 ,VOLUME #a1 ,*APT] #ah -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,JANU>Y #b#c1 #bag 3 ,VOLUME #a1 ,*APT] #ah -- ,ADD$4 

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