,VOLUME #a1 ,*APT] #c 

#aicaaica 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN 

,TEXT 3 

  

,PHOTO BY ,SPIROS,K PHOTOGRAPHY1,C,C ,B,Y-,N,C-,N,D ,LIC5SE ,LIV+ ,MY ,LIFE 

BY ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN 

,VOLUME ONE 

,NEW ,YORK3 ,ALFR$ ,A ,KNOPF ,9C41 #a#i#c#a4 

,*APT] #c 

,MY (FICE LEASE WAS AB\T TO EXPIRE1 & FROM SOME REM>KS ( ! JANITOR ,I GA!R$ ?AT IT W\LD NOT BE R5EW$4 ,I WAS NOT DI/URB$1 AS ,I HAD DECID$ TO DISCONT9UE MASSAG+4 ,I C\LD NOT ATT5D TO ALL ! WORK MYSELF & ,I DID NOT C>E TO EXPLOIT HELP4 ,MOREOV]1 ,MO!R ,E>? WAS REQUIR+ ALL MY TIME4 ,! FRI5DS :O HAD 5ABL$ ME TO OP5 ! BEAUTY P>LOR W]E 9DIGNANT AT MY GIV+ IT UP :5 IT WAS BEG9N+ TO %[ SUCCESS4 ,I HAD PAID MY DEBTS & ,I EV5 HAD A LITTLE SURPLUS ON H&4 ,! EXP]I5CE ,I HAD GA9$ & ! PEOPLE ,I HAD MET W]E WOR? MU* MORE ?AN MAT]IAL RETURNS4 ,N[ ,I W\LD BE FREE1 FREE FROM DISGUISE & SUBT]FUGE4 ,!RE WAS ALSO SOME?+ ELSE FROM :I* ,I HAD TO FREE MYSELF4 ,IT WAS MY LIFE ) ,DAN4 

,TOO GREAT DIFF]5CES 9 AGE1 9 CONCEPTION & ATTITUDE1 HAD GRADUALLY LOOS5$ \R TIES4 ,DAN WAS A COLLEGE BOY ( ! AV]AGE ,AM]ICAN LEVEL4 ,NEI!R 9 \R IDEAS NOR 9 \R VIEWS ( SOCIAL VALUES HAD WE MU* 9 COMMON4 ,\R LIFE LACK$ ! 9SPIRATION ( MUTUALITY 9 AIM & PURPOSE4 ,AS TIME PASS$1 ! C]TA9TY KEPT GR[+ ?AT \R RELATION%IP C\LD NOT CONT9UE4 ,! 5D CAME ABRUPTLY ONE NI<T1 :5 ,I WAS BRUIS$ ) 5DLESS MISUND]/&+4 ,:5 ,I RETURN$ TO MY AP>TM5T 9 ! AFT]NOON ( ! FOLL[+ DAY1 ,DAN HAD DEP>T$1 & ?US ONE MORE FOND HOPE HAD BE5 BURI$ ) ! PA/4 

,I WAS FREE TO DEVOTE MYSELF 5TIRELY TO ,MO!R ,E>?4 ,BUT EV5 MORE IMPORTANT WAS ! APPROA*+ EV5T ,I HAD LONG$ = & DREAM$ AB\T DUR+ F\RTE5 YE>S--,SA%A'S RELEASE4 

,MAY #aif CAME AT LA/4 ,ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS REMA9$ TILL ,SA%A'S RESURRECTION4 ,I HAD BECOME RE/LESS1 ASSAIL$ BY P]TURB+ ?\<TS4 ,:AT W\LD IT BE LIKE TO /& FACE TO FACE ) ,SA%A AGA91 HIS H& 9 M9E1 ) NO GU>D BETWE5 US8 ,F\RTE5 YE>S >E A LONG TIME1 & \R LIVES HAD FL[$ 9 DIFF]5T *ANNELS4 ,:AT IF !Y HAD MOV$ TOO F> AP>T TO 5ABLE !M TO CONV]GE AGA9 9TO ! LIFE & COMRADE%IP ?AT HAD BE5 \RS :5 WE HAD P>T$8 ,! ?\<T ( SU* A POSSIBILITY SICK5$ ME ) FE>4 ,I BUSI$ MYSELF TO /ILL MY FLUTT]+ HE>T3 ,MO!R ,E>?1 >RANGEM5TS = A %ORT T\R1 PREP>ATIONS = LECTURES4 ,I HAD PLANN$ TO BE ! FIR/ AT ! PRISON GATE :5 ,SA%A W\LD /EP \T 9TO FRE$OM1 BUT A LETT] FROM HIM REQUE/$ ?AT WE MEET 9 ,DETROIT4 ,HE C\LD NOT BE> TO SEE ME 9 ! PRES5CE ( DETECTIVES1 REPORT]S1 & A CURI\S MOB1 HE WROTE4 ,IT WAS A BITT] DISAPPO9TM5T TO HAVE TO WAIT LONG] ?AN ,I HAD PLANN$1 BUT ,I KNEW HIS OBJECTION WAS JU/IFI$4 

,C>L ,NOLD N[ LIV$ ) A WOMAN FRI5D 9 ,DETROIT4 ,!Y OCCUPI$ A SMALL H\SE1 SURR\ND$ BY A G>D51 AWAY FROM ! NOISE & CONFUSION ( ! CITY4 ,SA%A C\LD RE/ QUIETLY !RE4 ,C>L HAD %>$ ,SA%A'S LOT UND] ! SAME PRISON RO( & HAD REMA9$ ONE ( HIS /AUN*E/ FRI5DS4 ,IT WAS ONLY FAIR ?AT HE %\LD P>TICIPATE 9 ! GREAT MOM5T ) ME4 

,BUFFALO1 ,TORONTO1 ,MONTREAL1 MEET+S1 CR[DS--,I W5T ?R\< !M 9 A DAZE1 CONSCI\S ONLY ( ONE ?\<T--! #a#h? ( ,MAY1 ! DATE ( ,SA%A'S RELEASE4 ,I REA*$ ,DETROIT ON ! E>LY MORN+ ( ?AT DAY1 ) ! VISION ( ,SA%A IMPATI5TLY PAC+ HIS CELL BE=E HIS F9AL LIB]ATION4 ,C>L MET ME AT ! /ATION4 ,HE HAD >RANG$ A PUBLIC RECEPTION = ,SA%A & A MEET+1 HE 9=M$ ME4 ,I LI/5$ CONFUS$1 CON/ANTLY WAT*+ ! CLOCK /RIK+ (F ! LA/ PRISON M9UTES ( MY BOY4 ,AT NOON A TELEGRAM >RIV$ FROM FRI5DS 9 ,PITTSBUR<3 0,FREE & ON ! WAY TO ,DETROIT40 ,C>L SNAT*$ UP ! WIRE1 WAV$ IT FRANTICALLY1 & %\T$3 0,HE IS FREE6 ,FREE60 ,I C\LD NOT %>E HIS JOY2 ,I WAS OPPRESS$ BY D\BTS4 ,IF ONLY ! EV5+ W\LD COME & ,I C\LD SEE ,SA%A ) MY [N EYES6 

,T5SE ,I /OOD AT ! RAILROAD /ATION1 LEAN+ AGA9/ A PO/4 ,C>L & HIS FRI5D W]E NE>1 TALK+4 ,!IR VOICES S\ND$ AF>1 !IR BODIES W]E BLURR$ & FA9T4 ,\T ( MY DEP?S SUDD5LY ROSE ! PA/4 ,IT WAS ,JULY #a1 #a#h#i#b1 & ,I SAW MYSELF AT ! ,BALTIMORE & ,OHIO ,/ATION 9 ,NEW ,YORK1 /&+ ON ! /EPS ( A MOV+ TRA91 CL++ TO ,SA%A4 ,! TRA9 BEGAN MOV+ FA/]2 ,I JUMP$ (F & RAN AFT] IT1 ) \T/RET*$ H&S1 CRY+ FRANTICALLY3 0,SA%A6 ,SA%A60 

,SOMEONE WAS TUGG+ AT MY SLEEVE1 VOICES W]E CALL+3 0,EMMA6 ,EMMA6 ,! TRA9 IS 94 ,QUICK--TO ! GATE60 ,C>L & HIS GIRL RAN AHEAD1 & ,I TOO WANT$ TO RUN1 BUT MY LEGS FELT NUMB4 ,I REMA9$ RIVET$ TO ! GR\ND1 CLUT*+ AT ! PO/1 MY HE>T ?ROBB+ VIOL5TLY4 

,MY FRI5DS RETURN$1 A /RANG] WALK+ BETWE5 !M1 ) SWAY+ /EP4 0,H]E IS ,SA%A60 ,C>L CRI$4 ,?AT /RANGE-LOOK+ MAN --- WAS ?AT ,SA%A1 ,I WOND]$4 ,HIS FACE DEA?LY :ITE1 EYES COV]$ ) L>GE1 UNGA9LY GLASSES2 HIS HAT TOO BIG = HIM1 TOO DEEP OV] HIS HEAD --- HE LOOK$ PA!TIC1 =LORN4 ,I FELT HIS GAZE UPON ME & SAW HIS \T/RET*$ H&4 ,I WAS SEIZ$ BY T]ROR & PITY1 AN IRRESI/IBLE DESIRE UPON ME TO /RA9 HIM TO MY HE>T4 ,I PUT ! ROSES ,I HAD BR\<T 9TO HIS H&1 ?REW MY >MS >\ND HIM1 & PRESS$ MY LIPS TO HIS4 ,WORDS ( LOVE & LONG+ BURN$ 9 MY BRA9 & REMA9$ UNSAID4 ,I CLUNG TO HIS >M AS WE WALK$ 9 SIL5CE4 

,ON REA*+ ! RE/AURANT ,C>L ORD]$ FOOD & W9E4 ,WE DRANK TO ,SA%A4 ,HE SAT ) HIS HAT ON1 SIL5T1 A HAUNT$ LOOK 9 HIS EYES4 ,ONCE OR TWICE HE SMIL$1 A PA9FUL1 JOYLESS GR94 ,I TOOK (F HIS HAT4 ,HE %RANK BACK EMB>RASS$1 LOOK$ AB\T FURTIVELY1 & SIL5TLY PUT HIS HAT ON AGA94 ,HIS HEAD WAS %AV$6 ,TE>S WELL$ UP 9TO MY EYES2 !Y HAD ADD$ A LA/ 9SULT TO ! YE>S ( CRUELTY2 !Y HAD %AV$ HIS HEAD & DRESS$ HIM 9 HIDE\S CLO!S TO MAKE HIM SM>T AT ! GAP+ ( ! \TSIDE WORLD4 ,I *OK$ BACK MY TE>S & =C$ A M]RY TONE1 PRESS+ HIS PALE1 TRANSP>5T H&4 

,AT LA/ ,SA%A & ,I W]E ALONE 9 ! ONE SP>E ROOM ( ,C>L'S HOME4 ,WE LOOK$ AT EA* O!R LIKE *ILDR5 LEFT 9 ! D>K4 ,WE SAT CLOSE1 \R H&S CLASP$1 & ,I TALK$ ( UNESS5TIAL ?+S1 UNABLE TO P\R \T :AT WAS OV]FL[+ 9 MY HE>T4 ,UTT]LY EXHAU/$1 ,I WE>ILY DRAGG$ MYSELF TO B$4 ,SA%A1 %R9K+ 9TO HIMSELF1 LAY D[N ON ! C\*4 ,! ROOM WAS D>K1 ONLY ! GLEAM ( ,SA%A'S CIG>ETTE N[ & !N PI]C+ ! BLACKNESS4 ,I FELT /IFL$ & *ILL$ AT ! SAME TIME4 ,!N ,I HE>D ,SA%A GROP+ AB\T1 COME CLOS]1 T\* ME ) TREMBL+ H&S4 

,WE LAY PRESS$ TOGE!R1 YET SEP>AT$ BY \R ?\<TS1 \R HE>TS BEAT+ 9 ! SIL5CE ( ! NI<T4 ,HE TRI$ TO SAY SOME?+1 *ECK$ HIMSELF1 BREA!D HEAVILY1 & F9ALLY BROKE \T 9 FI]CE SOBS ?AT HE VA9LY TRI$ TO SUPPRESS4 ,I LEFT HIM ALONE1 HOP+ ?AT HIS TORTUR$ SPIRIT MI<T F9D RELIEF 9 ! /ORM ?AT WAS %AK+ HIM TO ! ROOTS4 ,GRADUALLY HE GREW CALM & SAID HE WANT$ TO GO \T = A WALK1 ! WALLS W]E CRU%+ HIM4 ,I HE>D HIM CLOSE ! DOOR1 & ,I WAS ALONE 9 MY GRIEF4 ,I KNEW ) A T]RIBLE C]TA9TY ?AT ! /RUGGLE = ,SA%A'S LIB]ATION HAD ONLY BEGUN4 

,I WOKE UP ) ! FEEL+ ?AT ,SA%A NE$$ TO GO AWAY SOME :]E1 ALONE1 TO A QUIET PLACE4 ,BUT MEET+S & RECEPTIONS HAD BE5 >RANG$ 9 ,DETROIT1 ,*ICAGO1 ,MILWAUKEE1 & ,NEW ,YORK2 ! COMRADES WANT$ TO MEET HIM1 TO SEE HIM AGA94 ,! Y\NG PEOPLE ESPECIALLY W]E CLAMOR+ TO BEHOLD ! MAN :O HAD BE5 KEPT BURI$ ALIVE = F\RTE5 YE>S = HIS ,ATT5TAT4 ,I WAS BESET ) ANXIETY AB\T HIM1 BUT !RE W\LD BE NO ESCAPE = HIM1 ,I FELT1 UNTIL ALL ! S*$UL$ AFFAIRS W]E OV]4 ,HE W\LD !N BE ABLE TO GO TO ! LITTLE F>M & P]HAPS F9D HIS WAY SL[LY BACK TO LIFE4 

,! ,DETROIT PAP]S W]E FULL ( \R VISIT ) ,C>L1 & BE=E WE LEFT ! CITY1 !Y EV5 HAD ME M>RI$ TO ,ALEX&] ,B]KMAN & ON \R HONEYMOON4 ,9 ,*ICAGO ! REPORT]S W]E CON/ANTLY ON \R TRAIL1 ! MEET+S UND] HEAVY POLICE GU>D4 ,! RECEPTION 9 ,GR& ,C5TRAL ,PALACE1 ,NEW ,YORK1 BECAUSE ( ITS SIZE & ! 9T5SE 5?USIASM ( ! AUDI5CE1 DEPRESS$ ,SA%A EV5 MORE ?AN ! O!RS4 ,BUT N[ ! MIS]Y WAS AT AN 5D & WE W5T \T TO ! LITTLE ,OSS9+ F>M4 ,SA%A WAS PLEAS$ ) IT2 HE LOV$ ITS WILDNESS1 SECLUSION1 & QUIET4 ,& ,I WAS FILL$ ) NEW HOPE = HIM & TO HIS RELEASE FROM ! GRIP ( ! PRISON %AD[S4 

,HAV+ BE5 />V$ = SO MANY YE>S1 HE N[ ATE RAV5\SLY4 ,IT WAS EXTRAORD9>Y :AT AN AM\NT ( FOOD HE C\LD ABSORB1 ESPECIALLY ( HIS FAVORITE ,JEWI% DI%ES1 ( :I* HE HAD BE5 DEPRIV$ SO LONG4 ,IT WAS NO?+ AT ALL = HIM TO FOLL[ UP A SUB/ANTIAL MEAL ) A DOZ5 BL9TZES 7A K9D ( ,YIDDI% PANCAKE CONTA9+ *EESE OR MEAT7 OR A HUGE APPLE PIE4 ,I COOK$ & BAK$1 HAPPY 9 HIS 5JOYM5T ( ! FOOD4 ,MO/ ( MY FRI5DS W]E 9 ! HABIT ( PAY+ C\RT TO MY CUL9>Y >T1 BUT NO ONE EV] DID SO MU* JU/ICE TO IT AS MY POOR1 FAMI%$ ,SA%A4 

,\R C\NTRY IDYLL WAS %ORT-LIV$4 ,! BLACK PHANTOMS ( ! PA/ W]E AGA9 PURSU+ !IR VICTIM1 DRIV+ HIM \T ( ! H\SE & ROBB+ HIM ( PEACE4 ,SA%A ROAM$ ! WOODS OR LAY = H\RS /RET*$ ON ! GR\ND1 SIL5T & LI/LESS4 

,! QUIET ( ! C\NTRY 9CREAS$ HIS 9N] TURMOIL1 HE TOLD ME HE C\LD NOT 5DURE IT2 HE MU/ GO BACK TO T[N4 ,HE MU/ F9D WORK TO OCCUPY HIS M9D OR HE W\LD GO MAD4 ,& HE MU/ MAKE A LIV+ HE W\LD NOT BE SUPPORT$ BY PUBLIC COLLECTIONS4 ,HE HAD ALREADY DECL9$ TO ACCEPT ! FIVE HUNDR$ DOLL>S ! COMRADES HAD RAIS$ = HIM1 & HAD DI/RIBUT$ ! MONEY AMONG SEV]AL AN>*I/ PUBLICATIONS4 ,!RE WAS ANO!R ?+ ?AT TORM5T$ HIM3 ! ?\<T ( HIS UN=TUNATE COMRADES ( SO MANY YE>S4 ,H[ C\LD HE 5JOY PEACE & COM=T1 KN[+ ?AT !Y W]E DEPRIV$ ( BO?8 ,HE HAD PL$G$ HIMSELF TO VOICE !IR CAUSE & TO CRY \T AGA9/ ! HORRORS )9 PRISON WALLS4 ,YET HE WAS DO+ NO?+ BUT EAT+1 SLEEP+1 & DRIFT+4 ,HE C\LD NOT GO ON ?AT WAY1 HE SAID4 

,I UND]/OOD HIS SUFF]+1 & MY HE>T BL$ = MY DE> ONE1 SO B\ND BY ! PA/4 ,WE RETURN$ TO #ba ,EA/ ,?IRTE5? ,/REET1 & !RE ! /RUGGLE GREW MORE 9T5SE1 ! /RUGGLE = ADJU/M5T TO LIV+4 ,9 HIS DEPLET$ PHYSICAL CONDITION ,SA%A C\LD F9D NO WORK TO DO1 & ! ATMOSPH]E SURR\ND+ ME APPE>$ /RANGE & ALI5 TO HIM4 ,) ! PASS+ WEEKS & MON?S HIS MIS]Y 9CREAS$4 ,:5 WE W]E ALONE 9 ! FLAT1 OR 9 ! COMPANY ( ,MAX1 HE BREA!D A LITTLE FRE]1 & HE WAS NOT UNHAPPY ) ,BECKY ,$ELSON1 A Y\NG COMRADE :O (T5 CAME TO VISIT US4 ,ALL MY O!R FRI5DS IRRITAT$ & DI/URB$ HIM2 HE C\LD NOT BE> !IR PRES5CE & HE ALWAYS LOOK$ = SOME EXCUSE TO LEAVE4 ,G5]ALLY IT WAS DAWN BE=E BE RETURN$4 ,I W\LD HE> HIS WE>Y /EPS AS HE W5T TO HIS ROOM1 HE> HIM FL+ HIMSELF DRESS$ UPON HIS B$ & FALL 9TO RE/LESS SLEEP1 ALWAYS DI/URB$ BY FRI<TFUL NI<TM>ES ( HIS PRISON LIFE4 ,REPEAT$LY HE W\LD AWAK5 ) FE>FUL %RIEKS ?AT *ILL$ MY BLOOD ) T]ROR4 ,5TIRE NI<TS ,I W\LD PACE ! FLOOR 9 ANGUI% ( HE>T1 RACK+ MY BRA9 = SOME MEANS TO HELP ,SA%A F9D HIS WAY BACK TO LIFE4 

,IT OCCURR$ TO ME ?AT A LECTURE T\R MI<T PROVE A W$GE TO IT4 ,IT W\LD 5ABLE HIM TO UNBURD5 HIMSELF ( :AT LAY SO HEAVILY ON HIS M9D --- PRISON & ITS BRUTALITY --- & IT W\LD HELP HIM P]HAPS TO READJU/ HIMSELF TO LIFE AWAY FROM ! WORK HE CONSID]$ M9E4 ,IT MI<T BR+ BACK HIS OLD FAI? 9 HIMSELF4 ,I PREVAIL$ UPON ,SA%A TO GET 9 T\* ) \R PEOPLE 9 A FEW CITIES4 ,SOON HE HAD NUM]\S APPLICATIONS = LECTURES4 ,ALMO/ IMM$IATELY IT BR\<T AB\T A *ANGE2 HE BECAME LESS RE/LESS & DEPRESS$1 SOME:AT MORE COMMUNICATIVE ) ! FRI5DS :O CAME TO SEE ME1 & HE EV5 %[$ AN 9T]E/ 9 ! PREP>ATIONS = ! ,OCTOB] ISSUE ( ,MO!R ,E>?4 

,?AT NUMB] WAS TO CONTA9 >TICLES ON ,LEON ,CZOLGOSZ1 9 MEMORY ( ! FIF? ANNIV]S>Y ( HIS DEA?4 ,SA%A & ,MAX /RONGLY FAVOR$ ! IDEA ( A MEMORIAL ISSUE1 BUT O!R COMRADES F\<T AGA9/ IT ON ! GR\ND ?AT ANY?+ AB\T ,CZOLGOSZ W\LD HURT ! CAUSE AS WELL AS ! MAGAZ9E4 ,!Y EV5 ?REAT5$ TO )DRAW !IR MAT]IAL SUPPORT4 ,I HAD PROMIS$ MYSELF :5 ,I />T$ ,MO!R ,E>? NEV] TO P]MIT ANYONE1 :E!R GR\P OR 9DIVIDUAL1 TO DICTATE ITS POLICY2 OPPOSITION N[ MADE ME ! MORE DET]M9$ TO GO ?R\< ) MY PLAN ( D$ICAT+ ! ,OCTOB] NUMB] TO ,CZOLGOSZ4 

,AS SOON AS ! MAGAZ9E WAS (F ! PRESS1 ,SA%A BEGAN HIS T\R4 ,HIS FIR/ /OPS W]E ,ALBANY1 ,SYRACUSE1 & ,PITTSBUR<4 ,I HAT$ ! IDEA ( HIS GO+ BACK TO ! DREADFUL CITY SO SOON1 P>TICUL>LY BECAUSE ,I KNEW ?AT ACCORD+ TO ! PROVISIONS ( ! ,P5NSYLVANIA COMMUTATION LAW ,SA%A REMA9$ AT ! M]CY ( ! AU?ORITIES ( ?AT ,/ATE = EI<T YE>S1 DUR+ :I* P]IOD !Y HAD ! LEGAL RI<T TO >RE/ HIM AT ANY TIME = ! SLI<TE/ (F5SE & S5D HIM BACK TO ! P5IT5TI>Y TO COMPLETE HIS FULL T]M ( TW5TY-TWO YE>S4 ,SA%A WAS SET1 H[EV]1 ON LECTUR+ 9 ,PITTSBUR<1 & ,I CLUNG TO ! FA9T HOPE ?AT SPEAK+ 9 ?AT CITY MI<T FREE HIM FROM HIS PRISON NI<TM>E4 ,I FELT RELIEV$ :5 A TELEGRAM CAME FROM HIM SAY+ ?AT ! ,PITTSBUR< GA!R+ HAD BE5 A SUCCESS1 & ?AT ALL WAS WELL4 

,HIS NEXT /OP WAS ,CLEVEL&4 ,ON ! DAY AFT] HIS FIR/ MEET+ 9 ?AT CITY ,I RECEIV$ A WIRE 9=M+ ME ?AT ,SA%A HAD LEFT ! H\SE ( ! COMRADE ) :OM HE HAD SP5T ! NI<T & HAD NOT YET RETURN$4 ,IT DID NOT DI/URB ME V]Y MU*1 KN[+ H[ ! POOR BOY DREAD$ CONTACT ) PEOPLE4 ,HE HAD PROBABLY DECID$ TO GO TO A HOTEL1 ,I ?\<T1 TO BE BY HIMSELF1 & HE W\LD UND\BT$LY APPE> = ! LECTURE 9 ! EV5+4 ,BUT AT MIDNI<T ANO!R WIRE NOTIFI$ ME ?AT HE HAD NOT ATT5D$ ! MEET+1 & ?AT ! COMRADES W]E WORRI$4 ,I1 TOO1 BECAME AL>M$ & TELEGRAPH$ ,C>L 9 ,DETROIT1 ! NEXT CITY ,SA%A WAS EXPECT$ 94 ,!RE C\LD BE NO ANSW] ! SAME DAY1 & ! NI<T1 FULL ( BLACK =EBOD+S1 SEEM$ TO /& /ILL4 ,! MORN+ NEWSPAP]S C>RI$ L>GE HEADL9ES AB\T ! 0DISAPPE>ANCE ( ,ALEX&] ,B]KMAN1 ! REC5TLY FRE$ AN>*I/40 

,! %OCK COMPLETELY UNN]V$ ME4 ,I WAS TOO P>ALYZ$ AT FIR/ TO =M ANY IDEA ( :AT MI<T HAVE HAPP5$ TO HIM4 ,F9ALLY TWO POSSIBILITIES PRES5T$ !MSELVES3 ?AT HE HAD BE5 KIDNAPP$ BY ! AU?ORITIES 9 ,PITTSBUR<1 OR --- MORE LIKELY & T]RIBLE --- ?AT HE MI<T HAVE 5D$ HIS LIFE4 ,I WAS FRANTIC ?AT ,I HAD FAIL$ TO PLEAD ) HIM NOT TO GO TO ,PITTSBUR<4 ,YET1 ?\< FE>FUL ( HIS DANG]1 ! MORE DREADFUL ?\<T P]SI/$ 9 MY BRA91 ! ?\<T ( SUICIDE4 ,SA%A HAD BE5 9 ! ?ROES ( SU* DEPRESSION ?AT HE HAD SAID REPEAT$LY HE DID NOT C>E TO LIVE1 ?AT PRISON HAD UNFITT$ HIM = LIFE4 ,MY HE>T REBELL$ 9 PASSIONATE PROTE/ AGA9/ ! CRUEL =CES ?AT C\LD DRIVE HIM TO LEAVE ME JU/ :5 HE HAD COME BACK4 ,I WAS TORM5T$ BY BITT] REGRETS ?AT ,I HAD SUGGE/$ ! IDEA ( ! LECTURE T\R4 

,= ?REE DAYS & ?REE NI<TS WE 9 ,NEW ,YORK & \R PEOPLE 9 EV]Y CITY SE>*$ POLICE /ATIONS1 HOSPITALS1 & MORGUES = ,SA%A1 BUT )\T RESULT4 ,CABLES CAME FROM ,KROPOTK9 & O!R ,EUROPEAN AN>*I/S 9QUIR+ AB\T HIM1 & /REAMS ( PEOPLE BESIEG$ MY FLAT4 ,I WAS NE>LY MAD ) UNC]TA9TY1 YET DREAD$ TO MAKE UP MY M9D ?AT ,SA%A HAD TAK5 ! FATAL /EP4 

,I HAD TO GO TO ,ELIZABE?1 ,NEW ,J]SEY1 TO ADDRESS A MEET+4 ,LONG PUBLIC LIFE HAD TAU<T ME NOT TO EXPOSE JOY OR SORR[ TO ! IDLE GAZE ( ! M>KETPLACE4 ,BUT H[ HIDE :AT N[ WAS OBSESS+ MY EV]Y ?\<T8 ,I HAD PROMIS$ WEEKS PREVI\SLY1 & ,I WAS COMPELL$ TO GO4 ,MAX ACCOMPANI$ ME4 ,HE HAD ALREADY B\<T \R TICKETS & WE W]E ALMO/ AT ! RAILROAD GATE4 ,SUDD5LY ,I WAS SEIZ$ BY A FEEL+ ( SOME IMP5D+ CALAMITY4 ,I /OPP$ %ORT4 0,MAX6 ,MAX60 ,I CRI$1 0,I CAN'T GO6 ,SOME?+ IS PULL+ ME BACK TO ! FLAT60 ,HE UND]/OOD & URG$ ME TO RETURN4 ,IT W\LD BE ALL RI<T1 HE ASSUR$ ME2 HE W\LD EXPLA9 MY ABS5CE & SPEAK 9 MY /EAD4 ,HA/ILY PRESS+ HIS H&1 ,I DA%$ (F TO CAT* ! FIR/ F]RY-BOAT BACK TO ,NEW ,YORK4 

,ON ,?IRTE5? ,/REET NE> ,?IRD ,AV5UE ,I SAW ,BECKY RUNN+ T[>DS ME1 EXCIT$LY WAV+ A YELL[ SLIP ( PAP]4 0,I'VE BE5 LOOK+ = Y\ EV]Y:]E60 %E CRI$4 0,SA%A IS ALIVE6 ,HE IS WAIT+ = Y\ AT ! TELEGRAPH (FICE ON ,F\RTE5? ,/REET60 ,MY HE>T LEAP$ TO MY ?ROAT4 ,I SNAT*$ ! PAP] FROM H]4 ,IT READ3 0,COME4 ,I AM WAIT+ = Y\ H]E40 ,I RAN FULL SPE$ T[>DS ,F\RTE5? ,/REET4 ,:5 ,I GOT TO ! (FICE1 ,I CAME FACE TO FACE ) ,SA%A4 ,HE WAS LEAN+ AGA9/ ! WALL1 A SMALL H&-BAG AT HIS SIDE4 

0,SA%A60 ,I CRI$2 0OH1 MY DE> --- AT LA/60 ,AT ! S\ND ( MY VOICE HE PULL$ HIMSELF TOGE!R1 AS IF \T ( A H>R[+ DREAM4 ,HIS LIPS MOV$1 BUT HE REMA9$ SIL5T4 ,HIS EYES ALONE TOLD ( HIS SUFF]+ & DESPAIR4 ,I TOOK HIS >M & /EADI$ HIM1 HIS BODY %AK+ AS 9 A *ILL4 ,WE HAD ALMO/ REA*$ #ba ,EA/ ,?IRTE5? ,/REET :5 HE SUDD5LY CRI$3 0,NOT H]E6 ,NOT H]E6 ,I CAN'T SEE ANYBODY 9 Y\R FLAT60 ,= A MOM5T ,I DID NOT KN[ :AT TO DO2 !N ,I HAIL$ A CAB & TOLD ! DRIV] TO GO TO ! ,P>K ,AV5UE ,HOTEL4 

,IT WAS D9N]-H\R1 & ! LOBBY FILL$ ) GUE/S4 ,EV]YBODY WAS 9 EV5+ DRESS2 CONV]SATION & LAU<T] BL5D$ ) ! /RA9S ( MUSIC FROM ! D9+-HALL4 ,:5 WE W]E ALONE 9 A ROOM ,SA%A GREW DIZZY & HAD TO BE HELP$ TO ! C\*1 :]E HE FELL D[N 9 A HEAP4 ,I RAN TO ! TELEPHONE & ORD]$ :ISKEY & HOT BRO?4 ,HE DRANK EAG]LY1 9DICAT+ ?AT IT REFRE%$ HIM4 ,HE HAD NOT EAT5 9 ?REE DAYS1 NOR TAK5 (F HIS CLO!S4 ,I PREP>$ A BA? = HIM1 & :ILE HELP+ HIM TO UNDRESS1 MY H& SUDD5LY CAME 9 CONTACT ) A /EEL OBJECT4 ,IT WAS A REVOLV] HE WAS TRY+ TO HIDE 9 HIS HIP POCKET4 

,AFT] ! BA? & ANO!R HOT DR9K ,SA%A SPOKE TO ME4 ,HE HAD HAT$ ! IDEA ( ! T\R ! MOM5T HE GOT \T ( ,NEW ,YORK1 HE SAID4 ,! APPROA* ( EA* LECTURE W\LD ?R[ HIM 9TO A PANIC & FILL HIM ) AN IRRESI/IBLE DESIRE TO ESCAPE4 ,! MEET+S HAD BE5 BADLY ATT5D$ & LACK$ SPIRIT4 ,! HOMES ( ! COMRADES HE HAD /OPP$ ) W]E CONGE/$1 ) NO SEP>ATE CORN] = HIM4 ,MORE T]RIBLE EV5 HAD BE5 ! CON/ANT /REAM ( PEOPLE1 ! 9CESSANT QUE/IONS4 ,/ILL HE HAD KEPT ON4 ,PITTSBUR< HAD SOME:AT RELIEV$ HIS DEPRESSION2 ! PRES5CE ( A HORDE ( POLICE1 DETECTIVES1 & PRISON (FICIALS HAD R\S$ HIS FI<T+ SPIRIT & HAD LIFT$ HIM \T ( HIMSELF4 ,BUT ,CLEVEL& WAS A <A/LY EXP]I5CE FROM ! MOM5T HE >RIV$4 ,!RE WAS NO ONE TO MEET HIM AT ! /ATION1 & HE SP5T ! DAY 9 AN EXHAU/+ SE>* TO LOCATE COMRADES4 ,! AUDI5CE 9 ! EV5+ WAS SMALL & 9]T2 AFT] ! LECTURE CAME AN 5DLESS RIDE TO ! F>M ( ! COMRADE :OSE GUE/ HE WAS TO BE4 ,WORN & SICK UNTO DEA?1 HE FELL 9TO A HEAVY SLEEP4 ,HE AWOKE 9 ! MIDDLE ( ! NI<T & WAS HORRIFI$ TO F9D A /RANGE MAN SNOR+ AT HIS SIDE4 ,HIS YE>S ( SOLITUDE 9 PRISON HAD MADE CLOSE HUMAN PROXIMITY A TORTURE TO HIM4 ,HE RU%$ \T ( ! H\SE1 9TO ! C\NTRY ROAD1 TO LOOK = SOME HID+-PLACE :]E HE C\LD BE ALONE4 ,BUT PEACE W\LD NOT COME1 NOR RELIEF FROM ! FEEL+ ?AT HE WAS UNFIT = LIFE4 ,HE DET]M9$ TO 5D IT4 

,9 ! MORN+ HE WALK$ TO ! CITY & B\<T A REVOLV]4 ,HE DECID$ TO GO TO ,BUFFALO4 ,NO ONE KNEW HIM !RE1 NO ONE W\LD DISCOV] HIM 9 LIFE OR CLAIM HIM 9 DEA?4 ,HE ROAM$ ?R\< ! CITY ALL DAY & NI<T1 BUT ,NEW ,YORK DREW HIM ) IRRESI/IBLE =CE4 ,F9ALLY HE W5T !RE & SP5T TWO DAYS & NI<TS CIRCL+ >\ND #ba ,EA/ ,?IRTE5? ,/REET4 ,HE WAS 9 CON/ANT T]ROR ( MEET+ ANYONE1 YET HE C\LD NOT KEEP AWAY4 ,EA* TIME ON RETURN+ TO HIS SQUALID LITTLE ROOM ON ! ,B[]Y HE W\LD TAKE UP ! REVOLV] = ! F9AL GE/URE4 ,HE W5T TO ! P>K NE>BY1 DET]M9$ TO MAKE AN 5D4 ,! SI<T ( LITTLE *ILDR5 PLAY+ TURN$ HIS M9D TO ! PA/ & ! 0SAILOR GIRL40 0,& !N ,I KNEW ?AT ,I C\LD NOT DIE )\T SEE+ Y\ AGA910 HE CONCLUD$4 

,HIS /ORY HELD ME BREA?LESS1 UNABLE & AFRAID TO BREAK ITS ?READ4 ,SA%A'S 9N] CONFLICT WAS SO OV]:ELM+ ?AT MY [N EXCRUCIAT+ UNC]TA9TY DUR+ ?OSE ?REE DAYS SEEM$ NO?+ 9 COMP>ISON4 ,9F9ITE T5D]NESS FILL$ ME = ! MAN :O HAD ALREADY DI$ A ?\S& DEA?S & :O WAS AGA9 ATTEMPT+ TO ESCAPE LIFE4 ,I BECAME POSSESS$ ( A BURN+ CRAV+ TO DEFEAT ! OM9\S =CES ?AT W]E PURSU+ MY UN=TUNATE FRI5D4 

,I HELD \T MY H& TO HIM & BEGG$ HIM TO COME HOME ) ME4 0,ONLY ,/ELLA IS !RE1 MY DE>E/10 ,I PLEAD$1 0& ,I WILL SEE ?AT NO ONE 9TRUDES UPON Y\40 ,AT ! FLAT ,I F\ND ,/ELLA1 ,MAX1 & ,BECKY WAIT+ ANXI\SLY = \R RETURN4 ,I TOOK ,SA%A ?R\< ! CORRIDOR 9TO MY ROOM & PUT HIM TO B$4 ,HE W5T (F TO SLEEP LIKE A WE>Y *ILD4 

,SA%A REMA9$ 9 B$ = SEV]AL DAYS1 ASLEEP MO/ ( ! TIME & ONLY HALF-AW>E ( HIS SURR\ND+S DUR+ HIS WAK+ H\RS4 ,MAX1 ,/ELLA1 & ,BECKY RELIEV$ ME 9 TAK+ C>E ( HIM2 NO ONE ELSE WAS ALL[$ TO DI/URB ! QUIET 9 MY AP>TM5T4 

,A GR\P ( Y\NG AN>*I/S HAD >RANG$ A GA!R+ TO DISCUSS ,LEON ,CZOLGOSZ & HIS ACT4 ,AT ! MEET+ ?REE ( ! BOYS W]E >RE/$4 ,I KNEW NO?+ AB\T ! MATT] UNTIL ,I WAS AWAK5$ E>LY ONE MORN+ BY VIOL5T R++ ( ! BELL & 9=M$ ( ! >RE/4 ,WE IMM$IATELY CALL$ A MEET+ TO PROTE/ AGA9/ ! SUPPRESSION ( FREE SPEE*1 ! ANN\NC$ SPEAK]S BE+ ,BOLTON ,HALL1 ,H>RY ,KELLY1 ,JOHN ,CORYELL1 ,MAX ,BAG9SKI1 & ,I4 ,ON ! APPO9T$ EV5+ ,SA%A1 :O WAS BEG9N+ TO FEEL A LITTLE BETT]1 WANT$ TO GO4 ,FE>+ HE MI<T BE UPSET AGA91 ,I P]SUAD$ HIM TO ATT5D ! !AT] ) ,/ELLA 9/EAD4 

,:5 ,I >RIV$ ) ,MAX & ! ,CORYELLS 9 ! HALL1 WE F\ND A SMALL AUDI5CE1 BUT ! WALLS W]E L9$ ) POLICEM54 ,Y\NG ,JULIUS ,$ELSON1 BRO!R ( ,BECKY1 :O HAD BE5 >RE/$ AT ! PREVI\S MEET+1 BUT HAD BE5 BAIL$ \T BY ,BOLTON ,HALL1 HAD JU/ ASC5D$ ! RO/RUM4 ,HE HAD SPOK5 AB\T T5 M9UTES :5 !RE CAME A COMMOTION2 SEV]AL (FIC]S DA%$ =W>D & PULL$ ,JULIUS (F ! PLAT=M1 :ILE O!R POLICEMAN *>G$ ! CR[D1 DRAW+ ! *AIRS FROM UND] ! PEOPLE1 DRAGG+ ! GIRLS \T BY ! HAIR1 & CLUBB+ ! M54 ,CRY+ & CURS+1 ! AUDI5CE RU%$ = ! EXITS4 ,:5 ,I GOT TO ! /AIRS ) ,MAX1 A POLICEMAN GAVE HIM A VIOL5T KICK ?AT NE>LY S5T HIM D[N TO ! BOTTOM1 :ILE ANO!R /RUCK ME 9 ! BACK & TOLD ME ,I WAS UND] >RE/4 0,Y\'RE JU/ ! ONE WE WANT60 HE RO>$2 0WE'LL TEA* Y\ H[ TO PROTE/60 ,9 ! PATROL WAGON ,I F\ND MYSELF 9 ! COMPANY ( ELEV5 0DANG]\S CRIM9ALS10 ALL ( !M Y\NG BOYS & GIRLS1 MEMB]S ( ! (F5D+ GR\P4 ,BOLTON ,HALL & ,H>RY ,KELLY & ! ,CORYELLS HAD SOMEH[ ESCAP$ ! BRUTALITY ( ! POLICE4 ,P5D+ \R 9DICTM5T WE W]E ADMITT$ TO BAIL4 

,\R >RE/ PRODUC$ ONE B5EFICIAL RESULT2 IT IMM$IATELY R\S$ ,SA%A'S FI<T+ SPIRIT4 0,MY RESURRECTION HAS COME60 HE CRI$1 :5 HE HE>D ( :AT HAD HAPP5$ AT ! MEET+2 0!RE IS WORK = ME TO DO N[60 ,MY JOY OV] ,SA%A'S AWAK5+1 & ! REALIZATION ( ! DANG] ! >RE/$ Y\NG/]S W]E FAC+1 9CREAS$ MY /R5G? & 5]GY4 ,SOON WE ORGANIZ$ = ! FI<T1 ) ,HU< 4 ,P5TECO/ & ,MEY] ,LONDON AS \R LEGAL ADVIS]S & ) CONSID]ABLE MAT]IAL SUPPORT FROM \R ,AM]ICAN & =EIGN FRI5DS4 ,ALREADY AT ! POLICE-C\RT HE>+ IT BECAME EVID5T ?AT !RE WAS NO CASE AGA9/ US1 BUT ! ,DI/RICT ,ATTORNEY WAS \T = GLORY4 ,:AT BETT] WAY ( GETT+ IT ?AN BY SAV+ ! CITY FROM AN>*Y8 ,IT WAS AN EASY JOB N[1 ) ! ,CRIM9AL ,AN>*Y ,LAW ON ! /ATUTE-BOOK4 ,! JUDGE SEEM$ WILL+ 5\< TO OBLIGE ! ,DI/RICT ,ATTORNEY1 BUT MO/ ( ! CRIM9AL AN>*I/S BE=E HIM LOOK$ SO Y\NG & 9(F5SIVE ?AT ,HIS ,HONOR WAS DUBI\S AB\T ANY JURY'S CONVICT+ !M4 ,TO SAVE HIS FACE HE HELD US OV] = 0FUR!R EXAM9ATION40 

,:ILE ,I ALWAYS PREF]R$ C]TA9TY 9 SU* MATT]S1 ,I %\LD HAVE WELCOM$ ! DELAY HAD ,I BE5 ABLE TO CONT9UE MY LECTURE WORK4 ,BUT ! POLICE KEPT UP A SY/EMATIC RAID UPON ALL ,5GLI% AN>*I/ ACTIVITIES2 NOT 9 ! OP5 MANN] 9 :I* !Y HAD SUPPRESS$ ! MEET+1 BUT 9 A MORE 9SIDI\S WAY4 ,!Y T]RORIZ$ ! HALL-KEEP]S1 !REBY MAK+ IT PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE = ME TO GET A HE>+ 9 ANY PUBLIC PLACE 9 ,NEW ,YORK4 ,EV5 SO H>MLESS AN AFFAIR AS A ,MO!R ,E>? MASK$ BALL1 >RANG$ TO RAISE FUNDS = \R PUBLICATION1 WAS BROK5 UP4 ,FIFTY (FIC]S HAD COME D[N TO ! HALL & ORD]$ ! PEOPLE TO GET \T1 TE>+ (F !IR MASKS4 ,:5 ?AT FAIL$ TO PROVOKE TR\BLE1 !Y =C$ ! [N] TO CLOSE ! HALL4 ,IT MEANT A GREAT F9ANCIAL LOSS4 

,WE ORGANIZ$ A ,MO!R ,E>? ,CLUB1 GIV+ WEEKLY LECTURES ON V>I\S TOPICS & OCCASIONALLY ALSO MUSICALES4 ,! POLICE W]E FURI\S2 !Y HAD BE5 H\ND+ US = N9E WEEKS1 & /ILL WE W\LD NOT BE PUT D[N1 ,SOME?+ MORE DRA/IC & 9TIMIDAT+ HAD TO BE DONE TO SAVE ! SACR$ 9/ITUTIONS ( LAW & ORD]4 ,! NEXT MOVE ( ! AU?ORITIES TOOK PLACE AT A MEET+ ?AT WAS TO BE ADDRESS$ BY ,ALEX&] ,B]KMAN1 ,JOHN ,R4 ,CORYELL1 & ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN4 ,!Y >RE/$ ALL ! SPEAK]S4 ,A CRIM9AL AN>*I/1 FIFTE5 YE>S ( AGE1 :O HAPP5$ TO BE AT ! DOOR WAS ALSO TAK5 ALONG TO COMPLETE ! QU>TET4 ,I HAD 9T5D$ TO SPEAK ON ! 0,MISCONCEPTIONS ( ,AN>*ISM10 A LECTURE ,I HAD DELIV]$ ONLY TWO WEEKS PREVI\SLY BE=E ! ,BROOKLYN ,PHILOSOPHICAL ,SOCIETY4 ,DETECTIVES FROM ! NEWLY CREAT$ ,AN>*I/ ,SQUAD HAD BE5 PRES5T1 YET NO >RE/ HAD TAK5 PLACE4 ,IT WAS OBVI\S ?AT !Y HAD NOT D>$ TO 9T]F]E ) A NON-AN>*I/ SOCIETY1 EV5 ?\< ! SPEAK] WAS ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN4 ,IT MI<T HAVE TAU<T ! ,BROOKLYN PHILOSOPH]S ?AT IT WAS NOT AN>*ISM BUT ! ,POLICE ,DEP>TM5T ?AT WAS DE/ROY+ ! LITTLE LIB]TY ?AT /ILL EXI/$ 9 ! ,UNIT$ ,/ATES4 ,ON ! WAY TO ! POLICE /ATION ! 9SPECTOR 9 *>GE ( ! ,AN>*I/ ,SQUAD ASK$ ME :E!R ,I DID NOT 9T5D TO CEASE MY AGITATION4 ,:5 ,I ASSUR$ HIM ?AT ,I WAS MORE DET]M9$ ?AN EV] TO GO ON1 HE 9=M$ ME ?AT !REAFT] ,I W\LD BE >RE/$ EV]Y TIME ,I ATTEMPT$ TO SPEAK 9 PUBLIC4 

,= A :ILE IT SEEM$ AS IF ,SA%A HAD REALLY F\ND HIMSELF AGA9 & W\LD BE ABLE TO CONT9UE ) ME 9 \R COMMON LIFE & WORK4 ,HE HAD BE5 EAG] = ACTIVITY S9CE ! DAY ( \R >RE/1 BUT AFT] TWO MON?S HIS 9T]E/ GAVE WAY AGA9 TO ! GLOOM :I* HAD PURSU$ HIM S9CE HE GOT \T ( PRISON4 ,HE ?\<T ?AT ! MA9 REASON = HIS DEPRESSION WAS HIS MAT]IAL DEP5D5CE ON ME1 :I* WAS GALL+ TO HIM4 ,TO FREE HIM FROM IT ,I 9DUC$ A GOOD COMRADE TO L5D ,SA%A SOME MONEY TO SET UP A SMALL PR9T+ %OP4 ,IT HELP$ TO REVIVE ,SA%A'S SPIRITS & HE BEGAN TO WORK ASSIDU\SLY TO ADVANCE ! V5TURE4 ,PRES5TLY HE WAS 9/ALL$ 9 A COMPLETE PR9T+ \TFIT ( HIS [N ?AT 5ABL$ HIM TO DO SMALL JOBS4 ,BUT ! HAPP9ESS WAS NOT TO LA/2 NEW DIFFICULTIES BESIEG$ HIM4 ,HE C\LD NOT GET A UNION LABEL BECAUSE AS A COMPOSITOR HE WAS NOT P]MITT$ TO DO PRESSMAN'S WORK1 :ILE TO EMPLOY A PRESSMAN W\LD BE EXPLOITATION4 ,HE F\ND HIMSELF 9 ! SAME POSITION ,I HAD BE5 9 ) MY MASSAGE E/ABLI%M5T1 &1 RA!R ?AN LIVE (F ! LABOR ( O!RS OR DO NONUNION JOBS1 BE GAVE UP HIS %OP4 ,! OLD MIS]Y WAS UPON HIM AGA94 

,GRADUALLY ,I CAME TO SEE ?AT IT WAS NOT SO MU* ! QUE/ION ( E>N+ A LIV+ ?AT H>ASS$ ,SA%A AS SOME?+ DEEP] & MORE BITT] TO FACE3 ! CONTRA/ BETWE5 HIS DREAM-WORLD ( #ahib & MY REALITY ( #a#i#f4 ,! WORLD ( IDEALS HE HAD TAK5 ) HIM TO PRISON AT TW5TY-ONE HAD DEFI$ ! PASSAGE ( TIME4 ,P]HAPS IT WAS =TUNATE ?AT IT WAS SO2 IT HAD BE5 HIS SPIRITUAL SUPPORT ?R\< ALL ! T]RIBLE F\RTE5 YE>S1 A /> TO ILLUM9E ! BLACKNESS ( HIS PRISON EXI/5CE4 ,IT HAD EV5 COLOR$ HIS M9D'S-EYE VIEW ( ! \TSIDE WORLD --- ( ! MOVEM5T1 HIS FRI5DS1 & ESPECIALLY MYSELF4 ,DUR+ ?AT TIME LIFE HAD KICK$ ME AB\T1 =C$ ME 9TO ! CURR5T ( EV5TS1 TO S9K OR TO SWIM --- ,I HAD CEAS$ TO BE ! LITTLE 0SAILOR GIRL0 :OSE IMAGE HAD REMA9$ ) ,SA%A FROM =M] DAYS4 ,I WAS A WOMAN ( ?IRTY SEV5 :O HAD UND]GONE PR(\ND *ANGES4 ,I NO LONG] FITT$ 9 TO ! OLD MOLD1 AS HE HAD EXPECT$ ME TO4 ,SA%A SAW & FELT IT ALMO/ IMM$IATELY UPON HIS RELEASE4 ,HE HAD TRI$ TO UND]/& ! MATURE P]SONALITY :I* HAD BUR/ =? FROM ! %ELL ( ! 9EXP]I5C$ GIRL1 &1 FAIL+1 HE BECAME RES5TFUL1 CRITICAL1 & (T5 CONDEMNATORY ( MY LIFE1 MY VIEWS1 & MY FRI5DS4 ,HE *>G$ ME ) 9TELLECTUAL ALO(NESS & REVOLUTION>Y 9CONSI/5CY4 ,EV]Y ?RU/ FROM HIM CUT ME TO ! QUICK & MADE ME CRY \T MY GRIEF4 ,(T5 ,I WANT$ TO RUN AWAY1 NEV] TO SEE HIM AGA91 BUT ,I WAS HELD BY SOME?+ GREAT] ?AN ! PA93 ! MEMORY ( HIS ACT1 = :I* HE ALONE HAD PAID ! PRICE4 ,MORE & MORE ,I REALIZ$ ?AT TO MY LA/ BREA? IT W\LD REMA9 ! /RONGE/ L9K 9 ! *A9 ?AT B\ND ME TO HIM4 ,! MEMORY ( \R Y\? & ( \R LOVE MI<T FADE1 BUT HIS F\RTE5 YE>S' ,CALV>Y W\LD NEV] BE ]ADICAT$ FROM MY HE>T4 

,A WAY \T ( ! DI/RESS+ SITUATION SUGGE/$ ITSELF 9 ! IMP]ATIVE NE$ ( MY GO+ ON T\R = ,MO!R ,E>?4 ,SA%A C\LD REMA9 9 *>GE AS $ITOR ( ! MAGAZ9E2 IT W\LD HELP TO RELEASE HIM FROM HIS CRAMP$ FEEL+ & 5ABLE HIM TO F9D FRE] EXPRESSION4 ,HE LIK$ ,MAX1 & !RE W]E ABLE CONTRIBUTORS TO ASSI/ HIM3 ,VOLTAIR9E DE ,CLEYRE1 ,!ODORE ,S*RO$]1 ,BOLTON ,HALL1 ,HIPPOLYTE ,HAVEL1 & O!RS4 ,SA%A READILY ACCEPT$ ! PLAN1 & ,I WAS RELIEV$ ?AT HE DID NOT SUSPECT H[ H>D IT WAS = ME TO GO AWAY SO SOON AFT] HE HAD COME BACK TO ME4 ,HIS RELEASE --- ,I HAD WAIT$ = IT ) SU* 9T5SITY1 & N[ ,I %\LD NOT EV5 BE ) HIM ON ! FIR/ ANNIV]S>Y ( ! DAY SO LONG & ANXI\SLY LOOK$ =W>D TO4 

,! DEA? ( ,HU< 4 ,P5TECO/ CAME AS A %OCK TO ALL ( US :O KNEW & APPRECIAT$ ! MAN & HIS WORK4 ,! NEWS REA*$ US ?R\< ! PRESS1 AS WE W]E NOT 9=M$ BY HIS WID[4 ,P5TECO/ HAD BE5 A FIRM BELIEV] 9 CREMATION AS ! MORE BEAUTIFUL WAY ( DISPOS+ ( A P]SON'S REMA9S4 ,NATURALLY EV]YBODY EXPECT$ HIM TO BE CREMAT$ & MANY ( HIS FRI5DS PLANN$ TO ATT5D & S5D FLORAL TRIBUTES4 ,GREAT WAS \R A/ONI%M5T :5 WE LE>N$ ?AT ,HU< 4 ,P5TECO/ HAD BE5 BURI$ 9/EAD1 & ?AT HE HAD BE5 GIV5 A FUN]AL 9 ACCORDANCE ) RELIGI\S RITES4 ,IT WAS %E]E/ IRONY1 CONSID]+ ?AT ! ONE ?+ :I* ,HU< 4 HAD HELD HI< ?R\<\T HIS 5TIRE LIFE WAS FREE-?\<T4 ,HIS POLITICAL *ANGES HAD BE5 MANY3 S+LE-TAX]1 SOCIALI/1 & AN>*I/ --- HE HAD BE5 ALL ( !M AT ONE TIME OR ANO!R4 ,IT WAS DIFF]5T ) HIS ATTITUDE TO RELIGION & ! ,*UR*4 ,IRREVOCABLY HE HAD TURN$ FROM !M TO CONV9C$ A!ISM4 ,! PRES5CE ( A M9I/] AT HIS GRAVE WAS !RE=E ! WOR/ \TRAGE TO HIS MEMORY1 & AN 9SULT TO HIS FREE-?\<T FRI5DS4 ,IT SEEM$ LIKE ! FULFILLM5T ( A SUBCONSCI\S FE> ,P5TECO/ HAD (T5 VOIC$ TO ME3 0,IT IS V]Y H>D TO LIVE DEC5TLY1 BUT /ILL H>D] TO DIE DEC5TLY40 ,ANO!R ( HIS FREQU5T EXPRESSIONS WAS ?AT LOVE IS MORE DIFFICULT TO ESCAPE ?AN HATE4 ,HE MEANT ! K9D ( LOVE ?AT B9DS ONE ) S(T >MS & T5D] WORDS /RONG] ?AN *A9S4 ,HIS 9ABILITY TO TE> HIMSELF AWAY FROM ?OSE 0S(T >MS0 HAD BE5 BEH9D ! REPEAT$ *ANGES ( HIS SOCIAL IDEAS4 ,IT HAD EV5 L$ HIM TO PLAY FALSE TO ! MEMORY ( ! ,*ICAGO AN>*I/S1 AMONG :OSE /AUN*E/ DEF5D]S HE HAD BE5 UNTIL AMBITION MADE HIM SEEK ! PO/ ( ,ASSI/ANT ,DI/RICT ,ATTORNEY ( ,NEW ,YORK4 0,I MAY HAVE BE5 MI/AK510 HE HAD DECL>$1 09 SAY+ ?AT ! ,HAYM>KET TRIAL WAS A MISC>RIAGE ( JU/ICE40 ,NEI!R 9 LIFE NOR 9 DEA? HAD ,HU< 4 ,P5TECO/ BE5 P]MITT$ TO REMA9 TRUE TO HIMSELF4 

,\R WORK = ,RUSSIA RECEIV$ CONSID]ABLE ZE/ BY ! >RIVAL ( ,GRIGORY ,G]%UNI4 ,HE HAD ESCAP$ FROM ,SIB]IA 9 A CABBAGE-B>REL & HAD COME TO ! ,/ATES VIA ,CALI=NIA4 ,G]%UNI HAD BE5 A S*OOL-TEA*]1 BELIEV+ ?AT ONLY BY ! $UCATION ( ! MASSES C\LD ,RUSSIA BE R$EEM$ FROM ! YOKE ( ! ,ROMAN(FS4 ,= MANY YE>S HE HAD BE5 AN >D5T ,TOL/OYAN1 OPPOS$ TO EV]Y =M ( ACTIVE RESI/ANCE4 ,BUT 9CESSANT OPPOSITION & VIOL5CE BY ! DESPOTISM HAD GRADUALLY TAU<T ,G]%UNI ! 9EVITABILITY ( ! ME?ODS PURSU$ BY ! MILITANT REVOLUTIONI/S 9 HIS C\NTRY4 ,HE HAD JO9$ ! ,FI<T+ ,ORGANIZATION ( ! ,SOCIALI/-,REVOLUTIONI/ ,P>TY & HAD BECOME ONE ( ITS DOM9ANT FIGURES4 ,HE HAD BE5 CONDEMN$ TO DEA?1 BUT ULTIMATELY HIS S5T5CE WAS COMMUT$ TO LIFELONG IMPRISONM5T 9 ,SIB]IA4 

,GRIGORY ,G]%UNI1 LIKE ALL ! GREAT ,RUSSIANS ,I HAD MET1 WAS ( T\*+ SIMPLICITY1 EXTREMELY RETIC5T AB\T HIS [N H]OIC LIFE & FIR$ TO ! EXCLUSION ( ANY P]SONAL 9T]E/ BY ! VISION ( ! LIB]ATION ( ! ,RUSSIAN MASSES4 ,MOREOV]1 HE POSSESS$ :AT MANY ,RUSSIAN REBELS LACK$3 A KE51 PRACTICAL S5SE1 EXACTITUDE1 & RESPONSIBILITY = TASKS UND]TAK54 

,I SAW MU* ( ?IS EXCEPTIONAL MAN DUR+ HIS /AY 9 ,NEW ,YORK4 ,I LE>N$ ?AT HIS EXTRAORD9>Y ESCAPE HAD BE5 AID$ BY TWO Y\NG AN>*I/S4 ,WORK+ 9 ! C>P5T] %OP ( ! PRISON1 !Y HAD SKILLFULLY DRILL$ UNDETECTABLE AIR-HOLES 9 ! B>REL TO BE US$ BY ,G]%UNI1 LAT] NAIL+ HIM UP )94 ,G]%UNI NEV] TIR$ ( PRAIS+ ! DEVOTION & D>+ ( ?OSE TWO BOYS1 M]E *ILDR5 9 YE>S1 YET SO C\RAGE\S & DEP5DABLE 9 !IR REVOLUTION>Y ZEAL4 

,AB\T ?IS TIME WE BEGAN TO PREP>E = ! CELEBRATION ( ,MO!R ,E>?'S FIR/ BIR?DAY4 ,IT SEEM$ 9CR$IBLE ?AT ! MAGAZ9E %\LD HAVE SURVIV$ ! H>D%IPS & DIFFICULTIES ( ! PA/ TWELVE MON?S4 ,! FAILURE ( SOME ( ! ,NEW ,YORK LIT]ATI TO LIVE UP TO !IR PROMISES TO WRITE = IT HAD BE5 ONLY ONE ( ! ILL W9DS :I* HAD PURSU$ MY *ILD4 ,!Y W]E 5?USIA/IC AT FIR/1 UNTIL !Y REALIZ$ ?AT ,MO!R ,E>? PLEAD$ = FRE$OM & ABUNDANCE 9 LIFE AS ! BASIS ( >T4 ,TO MO/ ( !M >T MEANT AN ESCAPE FROM REALITY2 H[1 !N1 C\LD !Y BE EXPECT$ TO SUPPORT ANY?+ ?AT BOLDLY C\RT$ LIFE8 ,!Y LEFT ! NEW-BORN ONE TO %IFT = ITSELF4 ,!IR PLACES W]E SOON FILL$1 H[EV]1 BY BRAV] & FRE] SPIRITS1 AMONG !M ,LEON>D ,ABBOTT1 ,SADAKI*I ,H>TMANN1 ,ALV9 ,SANBORN1 ALL ( :OM REG>D$ LIFE & >T AS ! TW9 FLAMES ( REVOLT4 

,?IS DIFFICULTY OV]COME1 ANO!R >OSE3 CONDEMNATION FROM MY [N RANKS4 ,MO!R ,E>? WAS NOT REVOLUTION>Y 5\<1 !Y CLAIM$1 ! REASON NO D\BT BE+ ?AT IT TREAT$ AN>*ISM LESS AS A DOGMA ?AN AS A LIB]AT+ IDEAL4 ,=TUNATELY MANY ( MY COMRADES /OOD BY ME1 GIV+ G5]\SLY TO ! SUPPORT ( ! MAGAZ9E4 ,& MY [N P]SONAL FRI5DS1 EV5 ?OSE :O W]E NOT AN>*I/S1 W]E FAI?FULLY DEVOT$ TO ! PUBLICATION & TO EV]Y FI<T ,I MADE AGA9/ CONT9U$ POLICE P]SECUTION4 ,ALTOGE!R IT WAS A RI* & FRUITFUL YE>1 FULL ( PROMISE = ! FUTURE ( ,MO!R ,E>?4 

,FROM 3 ,AN>*Y ,>*IVES4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,DECEMB] #c#a1 #aic 3 ,VOLUME #a1 ,*APT] #c -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,JANU>Y #b#c1 #bag 3 ,VOLUME #a1 ,*APT] #c -- ,ADD$4 

 FILE G5]AT$ FROM 3  
HTTP3_/_/REVOLTLIB4COM_/