,VOLUME #a1 ,*APT] #cc 

#aicaaica 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN 

,TEXT 3 

  

,PHOTO BY NOLOGO.-PHOTOGRAPHY1,C,C ,B,Y-,S,A ,LIC5SE ,LIV+ ,MY ,LIFE 

  

BY ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN 

  

,VOLUME ONE 

  

,NEW ,YORK3 ,ALFR$ ,A ,KNOPF ,9C41 #a#i#c#a4 

  

,*APT] #cc  

 ,:ILE MY MEET+S W]E BE+ SUPPRESS$ 9 ,*ICAGO1 ,SA%A WAS SUBJECT$ TO SIMIL> P]SECUTION 9 ! ,EA/4 ,HIS LECTURES W]E /OPP$ 9 A NUMB] ( CITIES 9 ,MASSA*USETTS1 & ! ,UNION ,SQU>E DEMON/RATIONS ( ! UNEMPLOY$ AT :I* HE PRESID$ W]E =CIBLY DISP]S$ BY ! POLICE4 ,I WAS WORRI$ AB\T ,SA%A & WIR$ HIM TO LET ME KN[ :E!R IT WAS NECESS>Y = ME TO RETURN TO ,NEW ,YORK4 ,! NEXT MORN+ ,I READ 9 ! NEWSPAP]S ?AT A BOMB HAD EXPLOD$ AT ,UNION ,SQU>E1 & ?AT ,ALEX&] ,B]KMAN WAS >RE/$ 9 CONNECTION ) IT4 ,I =GOT \R DISAGREEM5TS4 ,SA%A WAS 9 TR\BLE1 & ,I NOT AT HIS SIDE TO HELP & COM=T HIM6 ,I RESOLV$ TO LEAVE = ,NEW ,YORK IMM$IATELY1 BUT BE=E ,I C\LD C>RY \T MY DECISION1 A TELEGRAM CAME FROM ,SA%A1 TELL+ ME ?AT ! AU?ORITIES HAD TRI$ TO IMPLICATE HIM 9 ! ,UNION ,SQU>E AFFAIR2 FAIL+ 9 ?AT1 !Y HAD *>G$ HIM ) 09CIT+ TO RIOT40 ,?AT *>GE ALSO HAD TO BE DROPP$ = LACK ( PRO(4 ,A LETT] EXPLA9$ ?AT !RE WAS NO NE$ = ME TO WORRY & ?AT ! ONLY VICTIM ( ! TRAGIC AFFAIR AT ,UNION ,SQU>E WAS A Y\NG COMRADE1 ,SELIG ,SILV]/E91 A G5TLE FELL[ :O HAD BE5 BADLY CLUBB$4 ,HE HAD BE5 MANGL$ BY ! EXPLOSION & HAD LAT] BE5 TORTUR$ AT POLICE HEADQU>T]S4 ,PHYSICAL SUFF]+ & M5TAL ANGUI% HAD BR\<T AB\T HIS 5D4 ,SA%A'S DESCRIPTION ( ! POLICE BRUTALITY1 & ( ! COMRADE SO BRAVE & /OICAL TO ! LA/1 9CREAS$ MY HATR$ ( ! MA*9]Y ( GOV]NM5T & ITS ORGANIZ$ VIOL5CE4 ,IT MADE ME MORE DET]M9$ TO GO ON ) MY WORK UNTIL ! LA/ BREA?4 

,BE=E ,I />T$ \T = ,CALI=NIA2 ,B5 ASK$ TO LET HIM COME ) ME ON ! T\R4 ,HE HAD 5\< MONEY TO PAY HIS [N WAY1 HE ASSUR$ ME4 ,HE W\LD HELP ) ! WORK1 >RANGE MEET+S1 SELL LIT]ATURE1 OR DO ANY?+ ELSE TO BE NE> ME4 ,! SUGGE/ION MADE ME HAPPY ) ANTICIPATION4 ,IT W\LD BE WOND]FUL TO HAVE SOMEONE ) ME  ON ! LONG & WE>Y TRAMPS ?R\< ! C\NTRY1 SOMEONE :O WAS LOV]1 COMPANION1 & MANAG]4 ,YET ,I HESITAT$4 ,MY LECTURES1 D$UCT+ MY [N EXP5SES1 LEFT ONLY SMALL M>G9S = ,MO!R ,E>?4 ,!Y C\LD H>DLY BR+ 5\< TO COV] AN ADDITIONAL BURD51 & ,I WAS NOT WILL+ TO ACCEPT ,B5'S COOP]ATION )\T HIS %>+ 9 ! RESULTS4 ,!RE WAS ALSO ANO!R CONSID]ATION--MY COMRADES4 ,!Y HAD HELP$ FAI?FULLY1 IF NOT ALWAYS EFFICI5TLY2 !Y W]E SURE TO SEE 9 ,B5 AN 9T]LOP]4 ,HE WAS FROM ANO!R WORLD2 MOREOV]1 HE WAS IMPETU\S & NOT ALWAYS TACTFUL4 ,CLA%ES W\LD SURELY FOLL[1 & ,I ALREADY HAD HAD TO FACE F> TOO MANY4 ,I F\ND IT DIFFICULT TO DECIDE1 BUT MY NE$ ( ,B51 ( :AT HIS PRIMITIVE NATURE C\LD YIELD1 WAS COMPELL+4 ,I RESOLV$ TO HAVE HIM2 LET ! RE/ TAKE C>E ( ITSELF4 

,SITT+ BESIDE ,B5 9 ! RU%+ TRA91 HIS HOT BREA? ALMO/ T\*+ MY *EEK1 ,I LI/5$ TO HIM RECIT+ ONE ( HIS FAVORITE ,KIPL+ /ANZAS3 

,I SITS & LOOKS ACROSS ! SEA 

 ,UNTIL IT SEEMS ?AT NO ONE'S LEFT BUT Y\ & ME4 

0,Y\ & ME1 MY BLUE-EY$ ,MOMMY10 HE :ISP]$4 

,WAS ?IS TO BE ! BEG9N+ ( A NEW *APT] 9 MY LIFE1 ,I WOND]$4 ,:AT WAS IT GO+ TO BR+8 ,MY :OLE BE+ WAS SUFFUS$ ) A FEEL+ ( COM=T & SECURITY4 ,BLISSFULLY ,I CLOS$ MY EYES & NE/L$ CLOS] TO MY LOV]4 ,?IS WAS A NEW & GREAT =CE1 :I* ,I KNEW HAD COME TO /AY4 

,! MEET+S 9 ,SAN ,FRANCISCO W]E BE+ LOOK$ AFT] BY MY FRI5D ,ALEX&] ,HORR2 NOT EXPECT+ ANY TR\BLE :]E ,I HAD NEV] BE5 9T]F]$ ) BE=E1 ,I FELT AT EASE4 

,I HAD RECKON$1 H[EV]1 )\T ! AMBITI\S ,*IEF ( ,POLICE ( ,SAN ,FRANCISCO4 ,5VI\S1 P]HAPS1 ( ! LAURELS C>RI$ (F BY HIS COLLEAGUES 9 ! ,EA/1 ,*IEF ,BIGGEY SEEM$ ANXI\S TO GA9 SIMIL> GLORY4 ,HE WAS AT ! /ATION HIMSELF1 ACCOMPANI$ BY A RET9UE ( (FIC]S & EQUIPP$ ) A L>GE AUTOMOBILE4 ,!Y ALL PIL$ 9 & DA%$ AFT] ! TAXI ?AT WAS TAK+ ,B51 ,HORR1 & ME TO ! ,/4 ,FRANCIS ,HOTEL4 ,!RE HE /ATION$ F\R DETECTIVES TO WAT* OV] MY WELF>E4 

,! POMP ( MY 5TRY 9TO ! HOTEL >\S$ ! MISGIV+S ( ! MANAGEM5T & ! CURIOSITY ( ! GUE/S4 ,UNABLE TO ACC\NT = ! UNEXPECT$ HOMAGE1 ,I TURN$ TO ,HORR = AN EXPLANATION4 

0,DON'T Y\ KN[10 HE SAID ) A P]FECTLY SOB] FACE1 0RUMORS HAVE GONE ABROAD ?AT Y\ >E COM+ TO ,SAN ,FRANCISCO TO BL[ UP  ! ,AM]ICAN FLEET N[ 9 ! H>BOR40 0,/OP Y\R RIDICUL\S 9V5TION10 ,I REPLI$2 0Y\ DO NOT EXPECT ME REALLY TO BELIEVE ?AT40 ,HE 9SI/$ ?AT HE WAS 9 E>NE/1 ?AT ,BIGGEY HAD BOA/$ ?AT HE W\LD PROTECT ! FLEET AGA9/ 0! :OLE BUN* ( ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN & H] GANG40 ,MY FRI5D HAD PURPOSELY RES]V$ A ROOM = ME AT ! HI<LY RESPECTABLE ,/4 ,FRANCIS2 ONE LIV+ 9 SU* A PLACE W\LD NOT BE SUSPECT$ ( ASSOCIATION ) BOMBS4 0 ,NEV] M9D :AT PEOPLE WILL ?9K10 ,I RETORT$2 0?IS PLACE IS L\D & GAUDY1 & ,I CAN'T 5DURE HAV+ TO RUN ! GANTLET ( ! RI* & VULG> PEOPLE H]E40 ,POOR ,HORR LOOK$ CRE/-FALL5 & W5T TO F9D O!R QU>T]S4 

,MEAN:ILE ,I WAS NOT LEFT 9 PEACE4 ,I WAS BESIEG$ BY REPORT]S ) CAM]AS1 PHOTOGRAPH$ AGA9/ MY WILL1 & ASK$ 5DLESS QUE/IONS1 ! MA9 ONE BE+ :E!R ,I HAD REALLY COME TO BL[ UP ! FLEET4 

0,:Y WA/E A BOMB80 ,I REPLI$4 0,:AT ,I %\LD LIKE TO DO ) ! FLEET1 ) ! 5TIRE ,NAVY1 & ! ,>MY TOO1 W\LD BE TO DUMP !M 9 ! BAY4 ,BUT AS ,I HAVE NOT ! P[] TO DO IT1 ,I HAVE COME TO ,SAN ,FRANCISCO TO PO9T \T TO ! PEOPLE ! USELESSNESS & WA/E ( MILIT>Y 9/ITUTIONS1 :E!R !Y OP]ATE ON L& OR ON SEA40 

,AT MIDNI<T MY FRI5D RETURN$4 ,HE HAD F\ND A PLACE1 AL?\< IT WAS V]Y F> FROM T[N4 ,IT WAS ! COTTAGE ( ,JOE ,$ELSOHN1 9 :I* !RE WAS ROOM 5\< = ,B5 & ME4 ,I KNEW ,JOE AS A SPL5DID COMRADE1 & ,I WAS GLAD TO BE ABLE TO GET \T ( ! ,/4 ,FRANCIS ,HOTEL1 H[EV] F> ,I'D HAVE TO WALK4 ,! ?REE ( US1 TOGE!R ) ALL \R BAGGAGE1 LOAD$ 9TO A TAXI &1 FOLL[$ BY F\R DETECTIVES 9 ANO!R C>1 >RIV$ AT ,JOE'S H\SE4 ,! PLA9-CLO!S M5 REMA9$ ON WAT*1 9 ! MORN+ REPLAC$ BY M\NT$ POLICE4 ,?IS WAS KEPT UP ALL ?R\< MY /AY 9 ! CITY4 

,ONE DAY ,B5 TOOK ME TO ! ,PRESIDIO1 ! MILIT>Y 5CAMPM5T AT ,SAN ,FRANCISCO4 ,HE KNEW ! *IEF PHYSICIAN ( ITS HOSPITAL2 HE HAD WORK$ ) HIM DUR+ ! E>?QUAKE & HAD ASSI/$ 9 TAK+ C>E ( PATI5TS4 ,WE W]E FOLL[$ TO ! V]Y DOOR ( ! HOSPITAL1 BUT WE HAD ! SATISFACTION ( SEE+ ! DETECTIVES KEPT \T1 :ILE ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN1 ! FOE ( MILIT>ISM1 WAS 5T]TA9$ BY ! PHYSICIAN 9 *>GE & %[N ?R\< ! W>DS4 

,MY MEET+S W]E V]ITABLE BATTLE 5CAMPM5TS4 ,= BLOCKS ! /REETS W]E L9$ ) POLICE 9 AUTOS1 ON HORSEBACK1 & ON FOOT4 ,9SIDE ! HALL W]E HEAVY POLICE GU>DS1 ! PLAT=M SURR\ND$ BY (FIC]S4 ,NATURALLY ?IS >RAY ( UNI=M$ M5 ADV]TIS$ \R  MEET+S F> BEYOND \R EXPECTATIONS4 ,\R HALL HAD A SEAT+ CAPACITY ( FIVE ?\S&1 & IT PROV$ TOO SMALL = ! CR[DS ?AT CLAMOR$ = ADMITTANCE4 ,L9ES =M$ H\RS BE=E ! TIME SET = ! OP5+ ( MY LECTURES4 ,NEV] 9 ALL ! YE>S S9CE ,I HAD FIR/ GONE ON T\R1 ) ! EXCEPTION ( ! ,UNION ,SQU>E DEMON/RATION 9 #a#h#i#c1 HAD ,I SE5 MASSES SO EAG] & 5?USIA/IC4 ,IT WAS ALL DUE TO ! /UP5D\S F>CE /AG$ BY ! AU?ORITIES AT HUGE EXP5SE TO ,SAN ,FRANCISCO TAXPAY]S4 

,! MO/ 9T]E/+ MEET+ TOOK PLACE ONE ,SUNDAY AFT]NOON :5 ,I SPOKE ON 0,PATRIOTISM40 ,! CR[DS /RUGGL+ TO GET 9 W]E SO L>GE ?AT ! DOORS ( ! HALL HAD TO BE CLOS$ V]Y E>LY TO PREV5T A PANIC4 ,! ATMOSPH]E WAS *>G$ ) 9DIGNATION AGA9/ ! POLICE1 :O W]E FLAUNT+ !MSELVES IMPORTANTLY BE=E ! ASSEMBL$ PEOPLE4 ,MY [N 5DURANCE HAD ALMO/ REA*$ BREAK+-PO9T BECAUSE ( ! ANNOYANCES CAUS$ BY ! AU?ORITIES1 & ,I W5T TO ! MEET+ DET]M9$ TO V5T 9 NO UNC]TA9 T]MS MY PROTE/4 ,:5 ,I LOOK$ 9TO ! FACES ( ! EXCIT$ AUDI5CE1 ,I S5S$ AT ONCE ?AT V]Y LITTLE 5C\RAGEM5T FROM ME W\LD BE NE$$ TO >\SE !M TO VIOL5T ACTION4 ,EV5 ! DULL M9D ( ,BIGGEY RESPOND$ TO ! TEMP] ( ! SITUATION4 ,HE CAME OV] TO BEG ?AT ,I TRY TO PACIFY ! PEOPLE4 ,I PROMIS$ ON CONDITION ?AT HE W\LD R$UCE ! NUMB] ( HIS M5 9 ! HALL4 ,HE CONS5T$ & GAVE ORD]S TO ! (FIC]S TO FILE \T4 ,\T !Y M>*$1 LIKE GUILTY S*OOLBOYS1 ACCOMPANI$ BY ! JE]+ & HOOT+ ( ! CR[D4 

,! SUBJECT ,I HAD SELECT$ = ! MEET+ WAS P>TICUL>LY TIMELY BECAUSE ( ! PATRIOTIC /UFF :I* HAD BE5 FILL+ ! ,SAN ,FRANCISCO PAP]S = DAYS PA/4 ,! PRES5CE ( SO VA/ AN AUDI5CE TE/IFI$ ?AT ,I HAD *OS5 WELL4 ,! PEOPLE W]E C]TA9LY EAG] TO HE> SOME O!R V]SION ( ! NATIONALI/ MY?4 0,M5 & WOM510 ,I BEGAN1 0:AT IS PATRIOTISM8 ,IS IT LOVE ( ONE'S BIR?PLACE1 ! PLACE ( *ILDHOOD'S RECOLLECTIONS & HOPES1 DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS8 ,IS IT ! PLACE :]E1 9 *ILDLIKE NAIVETE1 WE US$ TO WAT* ! PASS+ CL\DS & WOND] :Y WE1 TOO1 C\LD NOT FLOAT SO SWIFTLY8 ,! PLACE :]E WE US$ TO C\NT ! MILLI>D GLITT]+ />S1 T]ROR-/RICK5 LE/ EA* ONE AN EYE %\LD BE1 PI]C+ ! V]Y DEP?S ( \R LITTLE S\LS8 ,IS IT ! PLACE :]E WE W\LD LI/5 TO ! MUSIC ( ! BIRDS & LONG TO HAVE W+S TO FLY1 EV5 AS !Y1 TO DI/ANT L&S8 ,OR ! PLACE :]E WE W\LD SIT AT ,MO!R'S KNEE1 5RAPTUR$ BY TALES ( GREAT DE$S & CONQUE/S8 ,9 %ORT1 IS IT LOVE = ! SPOT1 EV]Y 9* REPRES5T+  DE> & PRECI\S RECOLLECTIONS ( A HAPPY1 JOY\S1 & PLAYFUL *ILDHOOD8 

0,IF ?AT W]E PATRIOTISM1 FEW ,AM]ICAN M5 ( TODAY C\LD BE CALL$ UPON TO BE PATRIOTIC1 S9CE ! PLACE ( PLAY HAS BE5 TURN$ 9TO FACTORY1 MILL1 OR M9E1 :ILE DEAF5+ S\NDS ( MA*9]Y HAVE REPLAC$ ! MUSIC ( ! BIRDS4 ,NOR CAN WE HE> ANY LONG] ! TALES ( GREAT DE$S1 = ! /ORIES \R MO!RS TELL TODAY >E BUT ?OSE ( SORR[1 TE>S1 & GRIEF4 

0,:AT1 !N1 IS PATRIOTISM8 ',PATRIOTISM1 SIR1 IS ! LA/ RESORT ( SC\NDRELS1' SAID ,DR4 ,JOHNSON4 ,LEO ,TOL/OY1 ! GREATE/ ANTI-PATRIOT ( \R TIMES1 DEF9$ PATRIOTISM AS ! PR9CIPLE ?AT JU/IFIES ! TRA9+ ( :OLESALE MURD]]S2 A TRADE ?AT REQUIRES BETT] EQUIPM5T = ! EX]CISE ( MAN-KILL+ ?AN ! MAK+ ( SU* NECESSITIES AS %OES1 CLO?+1 & H\SES2 A TRADE ?AT GU>ANTEES BETT] RETURNS & GREAT] GLORY ?AN ?AT ( ! HONE/ WORK+MAN40 

,! UPRO>I\S APPLAUSE ?AT 9T]RUPT$ ME %[$ ?AT ! FIVE ?\S& PEOPLE W]E 9 SYMPA?Y ) MY IDEAS4 ,I PROCE$$ ) AN ANALYSIS ( ! ORIG91 NATURE1 & MEAN+ ( PATRIOTISM1 & ITS T]RIFIC CO/ TO EV]Y C\NTRY4 ,AT ! CLOSE ( MY SPEE* ( AN H\R1 DELIV]$ AMID T5SE SIL5CE1 A /ORM ROLL$ OV] ME & ,I FELT MYSELF SURR\ND$ BY M5 & WOM5 CLAMOR+ TO %AKE MY H&4 ,I WAS DIZZY FROM ! EXCITEM5T & OBLIVI\S ( :AT WAS BE+ SAID TO ME4 ,SUDD5LY ,I BECAME AW>E ( A TALL FIGURE 9 ! UNI=M ( A SOLDI] HOLD+ \T HIS H& TO ME4 ,BE=E ,I HAD TIME TO ?9K1 ,I TOOK IT4 ,:5 ! AUDI5CE SAW ?AT1 P&EMONIUM BROKE LOOSE4 ,PEOPLE ?REW !IR HATS 9 ! AIR1 /AMP$ !IR FEET1 & YELL$ 9 UNCONTROLL$ JOY OV] ! SI<T ( ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN CLASP+ H&S ) A SOLDI]4 ,IT ALL HAPP5$ SO QUICKLY ?AT ,I HAD NO TIME TO ASK ! MAN'S NAME4 ,ALL HE SAID WAS3 0,?ANK Y\1 ,MISS ,GOLDMAN10 & !N HE SLIPP$ AWAY AS UNOBS]V$ AS HE APPE>$4 ,IT WAS A DRAMATIC 5D+ TO A HI<LY DRAMATIC SITUATION4 

,! NEXT MORN+ ,I READ 9 ! PAP]S ?AT A SOLDI] LEAV+ ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN'S MEET+ HAD BE5 FOLL[$ BY PLA9-CLO!S M5 TO ! ,PRESIDIO1 & ?AT !Y HAD REPORT$ HIM TO ! MILIT>Y AU?ORITIES4 ,LAT] ! PRESS /AT$ ?AT ! SOLDI]'S NAME WAS ,WILLIAM ,BUWALDA1 ?AT HE HAD BE5 PLAC$ UND] MILIT>Y >RE/ & W\LD BE 0C\RT-M>TIAL$ = ATT5D+ ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN'S MEET+ & = %AK+ H&S ) H]40 ,IT SEEM$ PREPO/]\S2 NEV]!LESS WE SET TO WORK  IMM$IATELY TO ORGANIZE A COMMITTEE = HIS DEF5SE & TO RAISE MONEY = HIS FI<T4 ,AFT] ?AT ,B5 & ,I LEFT = ,LOS ,ANGELES4 

,! MO/ 9T]E/+ EV5TS 9 ?AT CITY1 \TSIDE ( L>GE & LIVELY MEET+S1 W]E A DEBATE ) ,MR4 ,CLAUDE ,RIDDLE1 A SOCIALI/1 & A VISIT ) ,GEORGE ,A4 ,PETTIBONE4 ,I HAD DEBAT$ ) A NUMB] ( SOCIALI/S BE=E1 BUT MY OPPON5T ?IS TIME PROV$ ! MO/ FAIR-M9D$ ( !M ALL4 ,?AT WAS A CRIME 9 ! EYES ( HIS P>TY & HE WAS AT ONCE SUSP5D$ FROM MEMB]%IP4 ,IT WAS A CO9CID5CE NO LESS 9T]E/+ ?AN SIGNIFICANT ?AT A ,UNIT$ ,/ATES SOLDI] & A SOCIALI/ %\LD FALL UND] ! BAN AT ! SAME TIME = D>+ TO HAVE ANY?+ TO DO ) ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN4 

,GEORGE ,A4 ,PETTIBONE1 ) ,*>LES ,H4 ,MOY] & ,WILLIAM ,D4 ,HAYWOOD1 HAD BE5 ! VICTIM ( A CONSPIRACY TO CRU% ! ,WE/]N ,M9]S' ,F$]ATION4 ,= YE>S ! M9E-[N]S ( ,COLORADO HAD WAG$ REL5TLESS W> AGA9/ ! WORK]S' ORGANIZATION )\T SUCCESS4 ,:5 !Y DISCOV]$ ?AT ! SPIRIT ( ! UNION C\LD NOT BE BROK5 & ! LEAD]S NEI!R BULLI$ NOR B\<T1 !Y S\<T O!R MEANS TO DE/ROY !M4 ,9 ,FEBRU>Y #aif ! ?REE HAD BE5 >RE/$ 9 ,D5V] ON ! *>GE ( HAV+ KILL$ ,EX-,GOV]NOR ,/EUN5B]G4 ,SO COMPLETE WAS ! AUTOCRACY ( MONEY & P[] ?AT ! PRISON]S W]E RU%$ TO ,BOISE ,CITY )\T A SEMBLANCE ( LEGALITY1 ! TRA9 & EXTRADITION PAP]S HAV+ BE5 PREP>$ EV5 BE=E ! >RE/4 ,! ONLY EVID5CE AGA9/ ! LABOR DEF5DANTS HAD BE5 FURNI%$ BY A ,P9K]TON SPY1 ,H>RY ,OR*>D4 

,= A YE> !IR LIVES HAD HUNG 9 ! BALANCE4 ,! PRESS 9 G5]AL HAD BE5 9CIT+ ! ,IDAHO AU?ORITIES TO S5D !M TO ! GALL[S4 ,! TONE 9 ?IS MAN-HUNT HAD BE5 SET BY ,PRESID5T ,ROOSEVELT1 :O HAD BR&$ ,MOY]1 ,HAYWOOD1 & ,PETTIBONE AS 0UNDESIRABLE CITIZ5S40 

,! IMM$IATE & CONC]T$ CAMPAIGN ( LABOR & RADICAL BODIES ?R\<\T ! C\NTRY HAD SUCCE$$ 9 FRU/RAT+ ! M9E[N]S4 ,9 ?IS AGITATION ! AN>*I/S HAD PLAY$ A L>GE P>T1 DEVOT+ !IR 5]GY & MEANS TO SAVE ! 9DICT$ M54 ,I HAD LECTUR$ AB\T ! CASE ALL ?R\< ! C\NTRY1 :ILE ,MO!R ,E>? HAD PROCLAIM$ !IR 9NOC5CE & URG$ ! WORK]S TO DECL>E A G5]AL /RIKE1 IF NE$ BE1 TO RESCUE !IR COMRADES FROM ! NOOSE4 ,ON ! DAY ( !IR ACQUITTAL ! ,MO!R ,E>? GR\P HAD WIR$ ,ROOSEVELT3 0,UNDESIRABLE CITIZ5S VICTORI\S4 ,REJOICE40 ,IT WAS AN EXPRESSION (  \R CONTEMPT = ! MAN :O1 ?\< ,PRESID5T ( ! ,UNIT$ ,/ATES1 HAD JO9$ ! PACK ( H\NDS4 

,I HAD HAD NO OPPORTUNITY ( MEET+ ANY ( ! ?REE M5 BE=E OR S9CE ! TRIAL4 ,9 ,LOS ,ANGELES ,I LE>N$ ?AT ,PETTIBONE WAS LIV+ 9 ! CITY 9 ! /RICTE/ RETIREM5T1 HIS HEAL? %ATT]$ BY HIS JAIL EXP]I5CE4 ,:5 HE HE>D ( MY >RIVAL1 HE S5T A FRI5D TO TELL ME ?AT HE HAD WANT$ = MANY YE>S TO MEET ME4 

,I F\ND HIM ) ! /AMP ( DEA? ON HIS FACE1 BUT ) 5?USIASM = LABOR'S CAUSE /ILL %9+ 9 HIS EYES4 ,HE TALK$ ( MANY ?+S1 AMONG !M ( ! JUDICIAL MURD] 9 ,*ICAGO1 9 #a#h#h#g1 :I* HAD PROV$ A GREAT FACTOR 9 AWAK5+ HIS REBELLI\S SPIRIT1 AS IT HAD M9E4 ,HE DWELT ON ! EV5TS ?AT HAD BE5 MEANT TO FURNI% A SECOND ELEV5? ( ,NOVEMB]1 BUT 9/EAD HAD TURN$ 9TO A R$-LETT] DAY = ! LABOR =CES4 ,HE RELAT$ MANY 9CID5TS ( HIS CONFLICTS ) ! ,P9K]TONS & TOLD H[ HE US$ TO MAKE GAME ( !IR C[>DICE & /UPIDITY4 ,HE SPOKE ( ! AU?ORITIES HAV+ ATTEMPT$ TO 9DUCE HIM TO TURN AGA9/ HIS COMRADES4 0,JU/ ?9K ( IT60 HE SAID2 0!Y APPEAL$ TO MY 9T]E/S AS A BUS9ESS MAN & ! *ANCES ,I'D HAVE TO GET FREE & BECOME PROSP]\S4 ,H[ W]E ?OSE S\L-&-M9D-IMPOV]I%$ CREATURES TO KN[ ?AT ,I W\LD HAVE PREF]R$ DEA? A ?\S& TIMES RA!R ?AN HURT ONE HAIR ( ! O!R BOYS40 

,9 ,PORTL&1 ,OREGON1 WE LE>N$ ! *E]FUL NEWS ?AT ! TWO HALLS R5T$ = MY LECTURES1 ! ,>ION1 BELONG+ TO A ,G]MAN SOCIETY1 & ! ,Y4,M4,C4,A41 HAD BE5 REFUS$ AT ! LA/ MOM5T4 ,=TUNATELY ! CITY HAD A NUMB] ( PEOPLE TO :OM ! RI<T ( FREE SPEE* WAS NOT M]ELY A !ORY4 ,=EMO/ AMONG !M WAS EX-,S5ATOR ,*>LES ,]SK9E ,SCOTT ,WOOD1 DI/+UI%$ LAWY]1 WRIT]1 & PA9T] & A MAN ( CONSID]ABLE CULTURAL 9FLU5CE 9 ! T[N4 ,HE WAS A F9E-LOOK+ MAN ( GRACI\S P]SONALITY1 & A LIB]T>IAN 9 ! TRUE/ S5SE4 ,HE HAD BE5 9/RUM5TAL 9 SECUR+ ! TWO HALLS1 & HE WAS V]Y MU* DI/RESS$ ?AT ! [N]S %\LD HAVE BACK$ \T4 ,HE TRI$ TO CONSOLE ME ) ! ASSURANCE ?AT ! ,>ION ,SOCIETY C\LD BE HELD LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE1 BECAUSE !Y HAD SIGN$ A CONTRACT = ! R5TAL ( !IR HALL4 ,:5 ,I TOLD HIM ?AT ,I NEV] 9VOK$ ! LAW AGA9/ ANYONE1 AL?\< ! LAW HAD (T5 BE5 9VOK$ AGA9/ ME1 ,MR4 ,WOOD EXCLAIM$3 0,SO ?AT'S ! K9D ( DANG]\S AN>*I/ Y\ >E6 ,N[ ?AT ,I HAVE F\ND Y\ \T1 ,I %ALL HAVE TO TAKE O!RS 9TO MY CONFID5CE4 ,I %ALL HAVE TO ASK !M TO MEET ! REAL ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN40 ,)9 A FEW DAYS HE NOT ONLY 9TRODUC$ V>I\S P]SONS TO  ME1 BUT HE ALSO 9SPIR$ ,MR4 ,*APMAN1 ONE ( ! $ITORS ( ! ,OREGONIAN1 TO WRITE AB\T MY LECTURES1 & ! ,REV]5D ,DOCTOR ,ELLIOT1 A ,UNIT>IAN M9I/]1 TO (F] ME HIS *UR*4 ,HE 9DUC$ A CONSID]ABLE NUMB] ( PROM95T M5 & WOM5 ( ! CITY TO DECL>E !MSELVES PUBLICLY 9 FAVOR ( MY RI<T TO BE HE>D4 

,AFT] ?IS IT WAS EASY SAIL+4 ,A HALL WAS SECUR$1 & ! MEET+S W]E ATT5D$ BY L>GE & REPRES5TATIVE AUDI5CES4 ,MR4 ,WOOD PRESID$ AT MY FIR/ LECTURE & DELIV]$ A BRILLIANT 9TRODUCTORY SPEE*4 ,) SU* A BACK+ ,I %\LD HAVE CAPTUR$ MY HE>]S EV5 IF ,I HAD BE5 LESS >\S$ ON ?IS OCCASION4 ,I WAS AT A HI< EMOTIONAL PIT* OV] ! NEWS 9 ! MORN+ PAP]S ( ! TREATM5T ACCORD$ ,WILLIAM ,BUWALDA4 ,HE HAD BE5 C\RT-M>TIAL$1 DISMISS$ FROM ! ,>MY1 DEGRAD$1 & S5T5C$ TO ! MILIT>Y PRISON ON ,ALCATRAZ ,ISL& = FIVE YE>S4 ,?IS1 NOT)/&+ ! ADMISSION ( HIS SUP]IOR (FIC]S ?AT HE HAD BE5 AN EXEMPL>Y SOLDI] 9 ! ,UNIT$ ,/ATES ,>MY = FIFTE5 YE>S4 ,?AT WAS ! PUNI%M5T MET$ \T TO ! MAN :OSE CRIME1 AS ,G5]AL ,FUN/ON HAD /AT$1 HAD CONSI/$ 9 0ATT5D+ ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN'S MEET+ 9 UNI=M1 APPLAUD+ H] SPEE*1 & %AK+ H&S ) ?AT DANG]\S AN>*I/ WOMAN40 

,MY SUBJECT WAS 0,AN>*ISM40 ,:AT BETT] >GUM5T DID ,I NE$ ?AN ! \TRAGE BY ! ,/ATE ON ,WILLIAM ,BUWALDA1 BY ! ,/ATE & ITS MILIT>Y MA*9E1 FROM :I* !RE IS NO R$RESS OR ESCAPE8 ,MY SPEE* WAS FI]Y1 IGNIT+ EV]YONE PRES5T1 EV5 ?OSE :O HAD COME \T ( CURIOSITY4 ,AT ! CLOSE ( MY LECTURE ,I MADE AN APPEAL = AN IMM$IATE CAMPAIGN TO >\SE PUBLIC OP9ION AGA9/ ! S5T5CE ( ,BUWALDA4 ,! ASSEMBLY G5]\SLY RESPOND$ ) MONEY & PL$GES TO ORGANIZE ! WORK = HIS SPE$Y RELEASE4 ,MR4 ,WOOD WAS *OS5 TREASUR]1 & A CONSID]ABLE SUM WAS CONTRIBUT$ ON ! SPOT4 

,! AUDI5CES AT MY MEET+S KEPT 9CREAS+1 ! CR[DS REPRES5T+ EV]Y SOCIAL /RATUM2 LAWY]S1 JUDGES1 DOCTORS1 M5 ( LETT]S1 SOCIETY WOM51 & FACTORY GIRLS CAME TO LE>N ! TRU? AB\T ! IDEAS !Y HAD BE5 TAU<T TO FE> & TO HATE4 

,WE HAD />T$ = ,BUTTE1 ,MONTANA1 AFT] SUCCESSFUL MEET+S 9 ,SEATTLE & ,SPOKANE4 ,! TRIP GAVE ME OPPORTUNITY TO OBS]VE ! ,WE/]N F>M] & ! ,9DIANS ON ! RES]VATIONS4 ,! ,MONTANA F>M] DIFF]$ V]Y LITTLE FROM HIS ,NEW ,5GL& BRO!R4 ,I F\ND HIM JU/ AS 9HOSPITABLE & CLOSE-FI/$ AS ! F>M]S ,SA%A & ,I HAD CANVAS$ = CRAYON PORTRAITS 9 #a#h#i#a4 ,MONTANA IS AMONG ! MO/ BEAUTIFUL ,/ATES1 ITS SOIL RI* & F]TILE F> BEYOND ! UNYIELD+  ,NEW ,5GL& SOD4 ,YET ?OSE F>M]S W]E UNK9D1 GRE$Y1 & SUSPICI\S ( ! /RANG]4 ,! ,9DIAN RES]VATION REVEAL$ TO ME ! BLESS+S ( ! :ITE MAN'S RULE4 ,! TRUE NATIVES ( ,AM]ICA1 ONCE MA/]S ( ! L5G? & BREAD? ( ! L&1 A SIMPLE & /URDY RACE POSSESS+ ITS [N >T & CONCEPTION ( LIFE1 HAD DW9DL$ TO M]E %AD[S ( :AT !Y HAD ONCE BE54 ,!Y W]E 9FECT$ ) V5]EAL DISEASE2 !IR LUNGS W]E EAT5 BY ! :ITE PLAGUE4 ,9 RETURN = !IR LO/ VIGOR !Y HAD RECEIV$ ! GIFT ( ! ,BIBLE4 ,! K9DLY & HELPFUL SPIRIT ( ! ,9DIANS WAS V]Y *E]+ AFT] ! =BIDD+ ATTITUDE ( !IR :ITE NEI<BORS4 

,MY T\R1 MORE EV5TFUL ?AN ANY PREVI\S ONE1 WAS AT AN 5D1 & ,I WAS ON MY WAY TO ,NEW ,YORK4 ,B5 REMA9$ 9 ,*ICAGO = A VISIT ) HIS MO!R & W\LD JO9 ME 9 ! AUTUMN4 ,IT WAS A PA9FUL WR5* TO SEP>ATE AFT] ! 9TIMACY ( F\R MON?S4 ,ONLY F\R MON?S S9CE ?AT /RANGE BE+ HAD COME SO UNEXPECT$LY 9TO MY LIFE1 & ALREADY ,I FELT HIM 9 EV]Y PORE1 CONSUM$ BY LONG+ = HIS PRES5CE6 

,I HAD TRI$ ALL ?R\< ! MON?S TO EXPLA9 TO MYSELF ! APPEAL ,B5 HAD = ME4 ,) ALL MY ABSORPTION 9 HIM1 ,I WAS NOT DECEIV$ AB\T ! DIFF]5CE ?AT EXI/$ BETWE5 US4 ,I KNEW FROM ! FIR/ ?AT WE HAD 9TELLECTUALLY V]Y LITTLE 9 COMMON1 ?AT \R \TLOOK ON LIFE1 \R HABITS1 \R TA/ES1 W]E F> AP>T4 ,9 SPITE ( HIS DEGREE ( ,M4,D4 & HIS WORK = ! \TCA/1 ,I HAD FELT ,B5 TO BE 9TELLECTUALLY CRUDE & SOCIALLY NAIVE4 ,HE HAD PR(\ND SYMPA?Y = SOCIETY'S D]ELICTS1 HE UND]/OOD !M1 & HE WAS !IR G5]\S FRI5D1 BUT HE HAD NO REAL SOCIAL CONSCI\SNESS OR GRASP ( ! GREAT HUMAN /RUGGLE4 ,LIKE MANY LIB]AL ,AM]ICANS1 HE WAS A RE=M] ( SURFACE EVILS1 )\T ANY IDEA ( ! S\RCES FROM :I* !Y SPR+4 ,?AT ALONE %\LD HAVE BE5 5\< TO KEEP US AP>T1 & !RE W]E /ILL O!R & GRAV] DIFF]5TIATIONS4 

,B5 WAS TYPICALLY ,AM]ICAN 9 HIS LOVE ( PUBLICITY & ( %[4 ,! V]Y ?+S ,I MO/ DISLIK$ W]E 9H]5T 9 ! MAN ,I N[ LOV$ ) A FI]CE PASSION4 ,\R FIR/ S]I\S DISAGREEM5T HAD BE5 OV] A NEWSPAP] PHOTOGRAPH] ,B5 HAD 0WI%$0 ON ME )\T MY KN[L$GE OR CONS5T4 ,IT WAS DUR+ \R TRIP FROM ,*ICAGO TO ,SALT ,LAKE ,CITY4 ,! MAN WAS ON ! TRA9 & ,B5 MU/ NE$S TELL HIM ?AT ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN WAS AMONG ! PASS5G]S4 ,AT ! NEXT /OP1 AS ,I WAS WALK+ ALONG ! PLAT=M1 ,I SUDD5LY F\ND MYSELF CONFRONT+ A CAM]A READY TO 0%OOT40 ,I HAD BE5 (T5 ANNOY$ BY 9VASIVE ,AM]ICAN ME?ODS & ,I ALWAYS RAN FROM !M4 ,BUT !RE WAS NO  PLACE TO RUN TO ?IS TIME4 ,9/9CTIVELY ,I HELD UP A PAP] BE=E MY FACE4 ,TO ,B5 IT WAS M]ELY A CAPRICE4 ,HE C\LD NOT UND]/& MY DEEP-SEAT$ REPULSION TO ! HABITUAL IMPOSITION ( ! NEWSPAP] M54 ,HE C\LD NOT COMPREH5D ?AT ONE :O HAD BE5 SO LONG BE=E ! PUBLIC C\LD /ILL %R9K FROM ! VULG>ITY ( BE+ MADE A PUBLIC %[4 

,?R\< ALL MY TRAVELS ,I HAD MANAG$ TO KEEP TO MYSELF :ILE 5 R\TE FROM ONE CITY TO ANO!R4 ,ON ?IS T\R \R FELL[-PASS5G]S1 ! TRA9 CREW1 & EV5 ! /ATION-MA/]S KNEW ! GLAD TID+S ?AT ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN WAS 9 !IR MID/4 ,\R C> BECAME A MAGNET ?AT DREW ALL ! CURIOSITY-MONG]S :O W]E AB\T4 ,IT WAS MANNA TO ,B51 BUT TORTURE TO ME4 

,MOREOV]1 ,B5 HAD ! ,AM]ICAN SWAGG]1 :I* HE W\LD DISPLAY ) P>TICUL> GU/O AT \R MEET+S & 9 ! HOMES ( COMRADES4 ,! ANTAGONISM HIS MANN] >\S$ CAUS$ ME GREAT DI/RESS & ,I LIV$ 9 CON/ANT FE> ( :AT HE MI<T DO NEXT4 ,9DE$1 !RE W]E MANY ELEM5TS 9 MY LOV] TO J> MY N]VES1 \TRAGE MY TA/E1 & SOMETIMES EV5 MAKE ME SUSPICI\S ( HIM4 ,YET IT ALL DID NOT WEI< 9 ! SCALE AGA9/ ! MAGIC ?AT B\ND ME TO HIM & FILL$ MY S\L ) NEW W>M? & COLOR4 

,I C\LD F9D BUT TWO EXPLANATIONS ( ! RIDDLE3 ,FIR/1 ,B5'S *ILDLIKE NATURE1 UNSPOIL$1 UNTRA9$1 & UTT]LY LACK+ 9 >TIFICE4 ,:ATEV] HE SAID OR DID CAME SPONTANE\SLY1 DICTAT$ BY HIS 9T5SELY EMOTIONAL NATURE4 ,IT WAS A R>E & REFRE%+ TRAIT1 ?\< NOT ALWAYS PLEASANT 9 ITS EFFECTS4 ,! SECOND WAS MY GREAT HUNG] = SOMEONE :O W\LD LOVE ! WOMAN 9 ME & YET :O W\LD ALSO BE ABLE TO %>E MY WORK4 ,I HAD NEV] HAD ANYONE :O C\LD DO BO?4 

,SA%A HAD BE5 BUT A %ORT TIME 9 MY LIFE1 & HE HAD BE5 TOO OBSESS$ BY ! ,CAUSE TO SEE MU* ( ! WOMAN :O CRAV$ EXPRESSION4 ,HANNES & ,$1 :O HAD LOV$ ME PR(\NDLY1 HAD WANT$ M]ELY ! WOMAN 9 ME2 ALL ! O!RS HAD BE5 ATTRACT$ BY ! PUBLIC P]SONALITY ONLY4 ,F$YA BELONG$ TO ! PA/4 ,HE HAD M>RI$1 HAD A *ILD1 & DISAPPE>$ FROM MY K54 ,MY FRI5D%IP ) ,MAX1 /ILL AS FRAGRANT AS IT HAD ALWAYS BE51 WAS LESS ( ! S5SES ?AN ( ! UND]/&+4 ,B5 HAD COME :5 ,I HAD GREATE/ NE$ ( HIM2 \R F\R MON?S TOGE!R HAD PROV$ ?AT 9 HIM W]E COMB9$ ! EMOTIONS ,I HAD YE>N$ = SO LONG4 

,ALREADY HE HAD GREATLY 5RI*$ MY LIFE4 ,AS HELPMATE 9 MY WORK HE HAD %[N HIS 9T]E/ & HIS WOR?4 ,) COMPLETE ABSORPTION  & ABUNDANCE ( 5]GY ,B5 HAD A*IEV$ WOND]S 9 ! SIZE ( \R MEET+S & ! 9CREAS$ SALES ( LIT]ATURE4 ,AS TRAVEL+ COMPANION HE HAD MADE MY TRIP A NEW1 DELI<TFUL EXP]I5CE4 ,HE WAS T\*+LY T5D] & SOLICIT\S1 MO/ COM=T+ 9 RELEAS+ ME FROM ! PETTY ANNOYANCES & DETAILS 9VOLV$ 9 TRAVEL+4 ,AS LOV] HE HAD UNLEA%$ ELEM5TS 9 ME ?AT MADE ALL DIFF]5CES BETWE5 US DISAPPE> AS SO MU* *AFF 9 A /ORM4 ,NO?+ MATT]$ N[ EXCEPT ! REALIZATION ?AT ,B5 HAD BECOME AN ESS5TIAL P>T ( MYSELF4 ,I W\LD HAVE HIM 9 MY LIFE & 9 MY WORK1 :ATEV] ! CO/4 

,?AT ! CO/ W\LD NOT BE SMALL ,I ALREADY KNEW BY ! OPPOSITION TO HIM :I* WAS GR[+ 9 \R RANKS4 ,SOME ( MY COMRADES S5S$ ,B5'S POSSIBILITIES & HIS VALUE TO ! MOVEM5T4 ,O!RS1 H[EV]1 W]E ANTAGONI/IC TO HIM4 ,( C\RSE1 ,B5 DID NOT FEEL AT EASE UND] ?OSE CIRCUM/ANCES4 ,HE C\LD NOT UND]/& :Y PEOPLE /&+ = FRE$OM %\LD OBJECT TO ANYONE'S BEHAV+ NATURALLY4 ,HE WAS P>TICUL>LY N]V\S AB\T MY ,NEW ,YORK FRI5DS4 ,H[ W\LD !Y ACT T[>DS HIM & \R LOVE8 ,SA%A--:AT W\LD HE SAY8 ,MY ACC\NT ( ,SA%A'S ACT1 HIS IMPRISONM5T & SUFF]+1 HAD /IRR$ ,B5 PR(\NDLY4 0,I CAN SEE ,B]KMAN IS Y\R GREATE/ OBSESSION10 HE HAD ONCE SAID TO ME2 0NO ONE WILL EV] HAVE A *ANCE ALONGSIDE ( HIM40 0,NOT AN OBSESSION1 BUT A FACT10 ,I HAD TOLD HIM2 0,SA%A HAS BE5 9 MY LIFE SO LONG ?AT ,I FEEL WE HAVE GR[N TOGE!R LIKE ! ,SIAMESE TW9S4 ,BUT Y\ NE$ FE> NO RIVALRY FROM HIM4 ,SA%A LOVES ME ) HIS HEAD1 NOT ) HIS HE>T40 

,HE WAS NOT CONV9C$ & ,I C\LD SEE HE WAS WORRI$4 ,I MYSELF WAS APPREH5SIVE BECAUSE ( ! DIFF]5CE 9 !IR P]SONALITIES4 ,YET ,I HOP$ ?AT ,SA%A1 :O HAD T\*$ ! DEP?S ( LIFE1 W\LD UND]/& ,B5 BETT] ?AN ! RE/4 ,AS = ,MAX1 ,I KNEW ?AT1 :ATEV] HIS REACTION TO ,B51 HE WAS TOO CONSID]ATE TO CA/ ANY %AD[ ON MY LOVE4 

,MORE & MORE ! UPKEEP ( ,MO!R ,E>? WAS DRA9+ MY 5]GIES4 ,! SUPPORT FROM \R COMRADES & FROM MY ,AM]ICAN FRI5DS1 CONSID]ABLE AS IT WAS1 PROV$ 9SUFFICI5T4 ,MY T\RS HAD BECOME ! MA9 S\RCE ( REV5UE = ! MAGAZ9E1 = ! PUBLICATION ( \R LIT]ATURE & ! O!R EXP5SES 9VOLV$4 ,! LA/ T\R HAD LEFT US AN UNUSUALLY L>GE M>G91 YET BY ,AUGU/ WE W]E AGA9 )\T FUNDS4 ,MY NEW LECTURE C\RSE C\LD NOT BEG9 UNTIL ,OCTOB]4 ,=TUNATELY HELP CAME FROM AN UNEXPECT$ QU>T]4 

,MY FRI5D ,GRACE ,POTT]1 ONE ( ! CONTRIBUTORS TO ,MO!R ,E>?1  WAS WORK+ ON ! ,NEW ,YORK ,WORLD4 ,%E 9DUC$ H] $ITOR TO ACCEPT AN >TICLE FROM ME ON 0,:AT ,I ,BELIEVE40 ,I W\LD BE PAID TWO HUNDR$ & FIFTY DOLL>S = IT1 ,GRACE 9=M$ ME1 & ,I C\LD WRITE ) FULL FRE$OM4 ,I ACCEPT$1 GLAD ( ! OPPORTUNITY TO REA* A L>GE AUDI5CE & AT ! SAME TIME ALSO TO E>N SOME MONEY4 ,AFT] ! >TICLE APPE>$1 EXACTLY AS ,I HAD WRITT5 IT1 ,I WAS GIV5 ! RI<T TO PUBLI% IT 9 BRO*URE =M4 0,:AT ,I ,BELIEVE0 BECAME ! BE/SELL] ( YE>S4 ,N[ WE C\LD PAY ! PR9T] = ! CURR5T ISSUE & HAVE 5\< MONEY LEFT = ,B5'S TRIP TO ,NEW ,YORK4 

,I WAIT$ = HIS >RIVAL LIKE A S*OOLGIRL 9 LOVE = ! FIR/ TIME4 ,HE CAME ) HIS OLD EAG]NESS1 READY TO ?R[ HIMSELF 9TO ! WORK ( \R MAGAZ9E4 ,HE WAS HIS [N SELF :5 WE W]E ALONE1 BUT HE BECAME A *ANG$ CREATURE 9 ! PRES5CE ( MY FRI5DS4 ,) !M HE W\LD GR[ N]V\S1 9>TICULATE1 & DULL1 OR HE W\LD ASK SILLY QUE/IONS ?AT MADE !M SUSPICI\S ( HIM4 ,I WAS SICK ) DISAPPO9TM5T4 ,I KNEW ?AT IT WAS ONLY PANIC ?AT MADE ,B5 SO AWKW>D & ,I BELIEV$ ?AT HE W\LD FEEL MORE AT HOME ON ! F>M4 ,!RE LIFE WAS SIMPL]--,B5 W\LD F9D HIMSELF2 & ,SA%A1 :O WAS ) ,BECKY & O!R FRI5DS ON ! F>M1 W\LD BE PATI5T & HELP HIM ALONG4 

,MY HOPES PROV$ VA94 ,NOT ?AT ,SA%A OR ! O!R FRI5DS W]E UNK9D TO ,B51 BUT ! ATMOSPH]E WAS /RA9$1 & NO ONE SEEM$ TO F9D ! RI<T WORD4 ,! SITUATION ACT$ ON ,B5 AS ON A *ILD EXPECT$ TO BE ON ITS GOOD BEHAVIOR4 ,HE BEGAN TO %[ (F & BRAG1 BOA/ ( HIS EXPLOITS1 & TALK NONS5SE1 :I* MADE MATT]S WORSE4 ,I FELT A%AM$ ( ,B51 BITT]LY RES5TFUL ( MY FRI5DS1 & ANGRY ) MYSELF = HAV+ BR\<T HIM 9TO !IR MID/4 

,MY DEEPE/ GRIEF WAS ,SA%A4 ,HE SAID NO?+ TO ,B51 BUT HE SAID PL5TY ( CUTT+ ?+S TO ME4 ,HE SC(F$ AT ! IDEA ?AT ,I C\LD LOVE SU* A MAN4 ,IT WAS NO?+ BUT A TEMPOR>Y 9FATUATION1 HE FELT SURE4 ,B5 LACK$ SOCIAL FEEL+1 HE HAD NO REBEL SPIRIT1 & HE DID NOT BELONG 9 \R MOVEM5T1 HE 9SI/$4 ,MOREOV]1 HE WAS TOO IGNORANT TO HAVE PASS$ ?R\< COLLEGE OR TO HAVE E>N$ A DEGREE4 ,HE W\LD WRITE TO ! UNIV]SITY TO F9D \T4 ,?IS1 COM+ FROM ,SA%A2 COMPLETELY UNN]V$ ME4 0,Y\ >E A ZEALOT10 ,I CRI$2 0Y\ JUDGE HUMAN QUALITY BY Y\R CRIT]ION ( ONE'S VALUE TO ! ,CAUSE1 AS ! ,*RI/IANS DO FROM ! /&PO9T ( ! ,*UR*4 ,?AT HAS BE5 Y\R ATTITUDE T[>DS ME S9CE Y\R RELEASE4 ,! YE>S ( /RUGGLE & TRAVAIL ,I SUFF]$ = MY GR[? MEAN NO?+ TO Y\1 BECAUSE Y\ >E  B\ND 9 ! CONF9ES ( Y\R CRE$4 ,) ALL Y\R TALK ( ! MOVEM5T1 Y\ ?RU/ BACK ! \T/RET*$ H& ( A MAN :O COMES TO LE>N AB\T Y\R IDEALS4 ,Y\ & ! O!R 9TELLECTUALS PRATE AB\T HUMAN NATURE1 YET :5 SOMEONE \T ( ! ORD9>Y APPE>S1 Y\ DON'T EV5 TRY TO UND]/& HIM4 ,BUT ALL ?AT CAN HAVE NO BE>+ ON MY FEEL+ = ,B54 ,I LOVE HIM1 & ,I WILL FI<T = HIM TO ! DEA?60 

,I LEFT ! F>M ) ,B54 ,I WAS SICK FROM ! SC5E ) ,SA%A1 ! H>% WORDS ,I HAD HURL$ 9 HIS FACE2 & ,I WAS TORTUR$ BY MY [N D\BTS4 ,I HAD TO ADMIT TO MYSELF ?AT MU* ?AT ,SA%A HAD SAID AB\T ,B5 WAS TRUE4 ,I C\LD SEE HIS DEFECTS MU* BETT] ?AN ANYONE ELSE & ,I KNEW H[ LACK+ HE WAS4 ,BUT ,I C\LD NOT HELP LOV+ HIM4 

,IT HAD BE5 MY PLAN TO DEVOTE ! W9T] TO ,NEW ,YORK4 ,I WAS TIR$ \T FROM TRA9S1 /RANGE PLACES1 & O!R PEOPLE'S 0ATMOSPH]E40 ,H]E ,I HAD MY HOME1 LIMIT$ & CR[D$ ?\< IT WAS4 ,MO!R ,E>? ALSO NE$$ MY PRES5CE4 ,I WAS C]TA9 ?AT IF ,I LECTUR$ ?R\< ! W9T]1 ,I %\LD ATTRACT L>GE ,YIDDI% & ,5GLI% AUDI5CES4 ,I HAD TALK$ IT OV] ) ,B5 & HE HAD DECID$ TO MOVE TO ,NEW ,YORK & DEVOTE HIMSELF TO MY TASK4 

,BUT N[ ,B5 HAT$ ! CITY & HAT$ #ba ,EA/ ,?IRTE5? ,/REET4 ,HE C\LD NEV] DO ANY GOOD !RE1 HE FELT4 ,) ME ON ! ROAD HE W\LD BE ABLE TO PUT HIS 5]GIES 9TO ! WORK & HE W\LD GR[1 DEVELOP1 & BECOME A =CE4 ,I1 TOO1 WANT$ TO GET AWAY FROM ! DI%>MONY & ! C5SURE ( ! PEOPLE NE>E/ TO ME4 ,I WAS ANXI\S TO GIVE ,B5 A BETT] *ANCE1 TO HELP HIM TO AN UND]/&+ ( HIMSELF2 TO BR+ \T :AT WAS F9E/ 9 HIM4 

,! PREVI\S YE> ,I HAD RECEIV$ AN 9VITATION FROM ,AU/RALIA4 ,J4 ,W4 ,FLEM+1 \R MO/ ACTIVE COMRADE !RE1 HAD EV5 RAIS$ 5\< MONEY = MY F>E4 ,AT ?AT TIME ,I C\LD NOT DECIDE TO GO AWAY SO F> & MAKE ! LONG J\RNEY ALONE4 ,) ,B5 AT MY SIDE ! VOYAGE W\LD BE TURN$ 9TO A JOY & GIVE ME A MU* NE$$ RE/1 FREE FROM /RIFE4 ,B5 WAS WILD ) ! IDEA ( ,AU/RALIA2 HE C\LD TALK ( NO?+ ELSE & WAS EAG] TO />T AT ONCE4 ,BUT !RE W]E MANY >RANGEM5TS TO MAKE BE=E ,I C\LD GO ON A TWO YE>S' T\R4 ,WE DECID$ TO LEAVE 9 ,OCTOB] = ,CALI=NIA1 LECTUR+ ON ! WAY4 ,BY ,FEBRU>Y WE W\LD COV] ! GR\ND1 RAISE 5\< MONEY TO SECURE ! ,NEW ,YORK 5D = A TIME1 !N SAIL TO ! NEW L&1 :]E !RE W]E NEW FRI5DS TO W91 FRE% M9DS & HE>TS TO AWAK54 

,MY ONE ANXIETY WAS ,MO!R ,E>?4 ,W\LD ,SA%A CONS5T TO CONT9UE 9 *>GE8 ,ON MY RETURN FROM ! LA/ T\R ,I HAD F\ND HIM  BETT] ADJU/$ TO LIFE1 MU* SUR] ( HIMSELF & MORE DEVOT$ TO \R MAGAZ9E ?AN HE HAD BE54 ,HE HAD1 BESIDES1 CREAT$ MANY ACTIVITIES ( HIS [N :ILE ,I WAS AWAY4 ,HE HAD ORGANIZ$ ! ,AN>*I/ ,F$]ATION1 ) GR\PS ALL OV] ! C\NTRY1 & HAD GA9$ MANY ADMIR]S & FRI5DS4 ,:5 ,I SUBMITT$ MY ,AU/RALIAN PLAN TO ,SA%A1 HE EXPRESS$ SURPRISE ?AT ,I %\LD HAVE MADE SU* A SUDD5 DECISION1 BUT HE ASSUR$ ME ?AT ,I C\LD BE AT EASE AB\T \R WORK 9 ,NEW ,YORK4 ,HE W\LD LOOK AFT] EV]Y?+1 & ) ,MAX & ,HIPPOLYTE TO HELP HIM ! MAGAZ9E & ! (FICE W\LD BE SECURE4 ,I WAS SAD ?AT ,SA%A %\LD %[ NO REGRET :ATEV] AB\T MY GO+ AWAY = SO LONG1 BUT ,I WAS TOO ABSORB$ 9 MY NEW V5TURE TO ALL[ HIS LACK ( 9T]E/ TO AFFECT ME4 

,WE %IPP$ FIFTE5 HUNDR$ P\NDS ( LIT]ATURE TO ,VICTORIA1 ,AU/RALIA4 ,WE GOT 9 T\* ) \R FRI5DS ALL ALONG ! R\TE TO ,CALI=NIA1 & )9 A FEW WEEKS \R >RANGEM5TS W]E MADE4 ,B5 WAS ALL EAG]NESS TO DISCOV] NEW GR\ND4 0,ALL ! WORLD %ALL KN[ :AT MY ,MOMMY CAN DO10 HE PROCLAIM$4 

,ON ,LABOR ,DAY A MEET+ ( ! UNEMPLOY$ WAS TO TAKE PLACE 9 ,COOP] ,UNION4 ,B5 WAS HELP+ TO >RANGE IT & HE WAS ALSO ASK$ TO SPEAK4 ,I WANT$ HIM TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION & URG$ HIM TO PREP>E HIS NOTES4 ,HE TRI$ 9DU/RI\SLY1 BUT NO?+ CAME ( HIS EF=TS4 ,IT WAS NOT ( ANY P>TICUL> IMPORTANCE :AT HE MI<T SAY1 HE TOLD ME2 HE WANT$ ! AUDI5CE TO HE> ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN1 & AS ,I HAD NOT BE5 9VIT$1 ,I MU/ WRITE \T :AT ,I W\LD WANT TO SAY AT SU* A GA!R+4 ,! SUGGE/ION WAS AS FANTA/IC AS MO/ ( ,B5'S IDEAS1 BUT RA!R ?AN HAVE HIM MAKE A RAMBL+ TALK1 ,I PREP>$ A %ORT PAP] ON ! MEAN+ ( ,LABOR ,DAY4 

,COOP] ,UNION WAS CR[D$4 ,! 0AN>*I/ POLICE SQUAD0 WAS PRES5T 9 =CE1 AS W]E ALSO ,SA%A1 ,BECKY1 ,HIPPOLYTE1 & ,I4 ,ALL W5T WELL1 ,B5 HOLD+ ! AUDI5CE BETT] ?AN ,I HAD EXPECT$ :ILE HE WAS READ+ HIS PAP]4 ,AT ! 5D HE ANN\NC$ ?AT :AT HE HAD JU/ READ HAD BE5 PREP>$ BY ?AT 0MU* MALIGN$ WOMAN ! AN>*I/ ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN40 ,! H\SE APPLAUD$ ?UND]\SLY1 BUT ! COMMITTEE 9 *>GE ( ! MEET+ BECAME PANICKY4 ,! *AIRMAN (F]$ A PR(USE APOLOGY = ! 0UN=TUNATE OCCURR5CE0 & SAIL$ 9TO A VIOL5T ATTACK ON ,B54 ,! LATT] HAD ALREADY LEFT ! PLAT=M & C\LD !RE=E NOT REPLY4 ,SA%A ROSE TO PROTE/4 ,BE=E HE HAD A *ANCE TO BE PROP]LY HE>D BY ! CR[D1 ! POLICE PULL$ HIM \T ( ! HALL & PLAC$ HIM UND] >RE/4 ,BECKY1 :O  HAD FOLL[$ ,SA%A1 WAS ALSO >RE/$ & BO? W]E RU%$ TO !1 /ATION-H\SE4 ,!Y W]E CONFRONT$ BY A BURLY DESK S]GEANT1 :O RECEIV$ !M ) ! REM>K3 0,Y\ %\LD HAVE BE5 BR\<T H]E ON A /RET*]40 ,:5 ,HIPPOLYTE CALL$ AT ! POLICE /ATION TO F9D \T AB\T \R FRI5DS1 HE WAS REFUS$ 9=MATION4 0,WE HAVE ?AT SON ( A B---- AN>*I/ ,B]KMAN AT LA/10 HE WAS TOLD2 0WE'LL FIX HIM ?IS TIME40 

,! ,NEW ,YORK POLICE DEP>TM5T HAD TRI$ REPEAT$LY TO GET ,SA%A 9TO !IR CLUT*ES4 ,! PREVI\S YE>1 AFT] ! ,UNION ,SQU>E BOMB EXPLOSION1 !Y HAD ALMO/ SUCCE$$ 9 9VOLV+ HIM4 ,I WAS NATURALLY WORRI$ & AT ONCE GOT 9 T\* ) ,MEY] ,LONDON1 ! SOCIALI/ ATTORNEY1 & O!R FRI5DS1 TO HELP US RESCUE ,SA%A4 

,= H\RS ,LONDON & ,HIPPOLYTE WAIT$ AT ! POLICE /ATION TO SEE ,SA%A & ,BECKY BE=E !Y W\LD BE TAK5 TO ! NI<T C\RT4 ,F9ALLY !Y W]E 9=M$ ?AT ! CASE W\LD NOT COME UP UNTIL MORN+4 ,NO SOON] HAD !Y LEFT ?AN ! TWO PRISON]S W]E HU/L$ 9TO C\RT1 TRI$1 & CONVICT$ )\T A *ANCE TO SAY A WORD 9 !IR DEF5SE4 ,SA%A WAS S5T5C$ TO ! WORKH\SE = FIVE DAYS ON ! *>GE ( DISORD]LY CONDUCT1 :ILE ,BECKY WAS F9$ T5 DOLL>S = 0VAGRANCY40 

,NOT WANT+ TO 9VOLVE ME1 ,BECKY HAD REFUS$ TO SAY :]E H] HOME WAS4 ,AS A MATT] ( FACT1 %E HAD BE5 LIV+ ) US = MORE ?AN TWO YE>S4 ,%E HAD BE5 >RE/$ AT ONE ( \R MEET+S1 :I* CAUS$ H] EXPULSION FROM HI< S*OOL4 ,H] HOME CONDITIONS W]E DESP]ATELY POOR & CRAMP$ & ,I HAD 9VIT$ H] TO \R FLAT4 ,H] F9E WAS PAID BY \R DE> FRI5D ,BOLTON ,HALL4 

,! PAP]S ! NEXT DAY W]E FILL$ ) LURID /ORIES ( A 0RIOT PREV5T$ BY ! PROMPT ACTION ( ! POLICE10 & AS USUAL ,I WAS PE/]$ BY REPORT]S = DAYS4 ,I DID NOT M9D ! ANNOYANCE1 TOO HAPPY 9 ! ?\<T ?AT ,SA%A HAD BE5 GIV5 A %ORT S5T5CE4 ,:AT W]E FIVE DAYS TO A MAN :O HAD S]V$ F\RTE5 YE>S8 ,I W5T TO ,BLACKWELL'S ,ISL& TO SEE HIM4 ,MEMORIES ( MY [N SOJ\RN ON ! ISL& & ( MY TWO VISITS TO ! ,WE/]N ,P5IT5TI>Y CAME TO MY M9D4 ,H[ DIFF]5T ! SITUATION HAD BE5 !N--H[ HOPELESS & BLEAK ,SA%A'S *ANCES TO COME \T ALIVE6 ,N[ WE BO? JOK$ OV] ! FIVE DAYS4 0,I CAN DO !M ON ONE TOE10 ,SA%A LAU<$4 ,I LEFT HIM ) ! OLD C]TA9TY ?AT :ATEV] \R DISAGREEM5TS1 \R FRI5D%IP WAS ( AN ET]NAL QUALITY4 ,I /ILL FELT ! HURT CAUS$ BY HIS ATTITUDE T[>DS ,B51 YET ,I KNEW ?AT NO?+ C\LD EV] COME BETWE5 US4   

,EV]Y?+ WAS READY = MY DEP>TURE4 ,B5 WAS TO PREC$E ME TO DO ADVANCE WORK4 ,A FEW DAYS BE=E LEAV+ HE S5T ME A LETT] ?IRTY PAGES LONG1 A RAMBL+1 9COH]5T ACC\NT ( ?+S HE HAD DONE S9CE WE FIR/ MET4 ,HE HAD BE5 READ+ ,! ,P[] ( A ,LIE1 BY ! ,NORWEGIAN AU?OR ,BOY]1 HE WROTE2 IT HAD /RUCK DEEP 9TO HIM1 & HE FELT IMPELL$ TO CONFESS TO ME ! FALSEHOODS HE HAD TOLD & ! MEAN ?+S HE HAD DONE :ILE ON T\R ) ME4 ,IT WAS GIV+ HIM NO RE/4 ,HE C\LD KEEP SIL5T NO LONG]4 

,HE HAD LI$ :5 HE HAD TOLD ME ?AT IT WAS NOT HE :O HAD DISCLOS$ ! PLAN ( MY SPEAK+ AT ! SOCIAL 9 ,*ICAGO LA/ ,M>*4 ,HE HAD NOT 9=M$ ! POLICE1 BUT HE HAD CONFID$ IT TO A REPORT]1 :O HAD PROMIS$ TO KEEP IT TO HIMSELF4 ,HE HAD LI$ :5 HE HAD GIV5 0IMPORTANT MATT]S0 AS ! REASON = NOT CALL+ ON ME ?AT EV5+ TO EXPLA9 AB\T ! PRES5CE ( ! POLICE4 ,HE HAD GONE /RAI<T FROM ! HALL TO A GIRL HE C>$ AB\T4 ,HE HAD LI$ :5 HE HAD ASSUR$ ME ?AT HE HAD MONEY TO PAY HIS WAY ON ! TRIP ) ME4 ,HE HAD BORR[$ ! MONEY1 GRADUALLY PAY+ IT BACK FROM ! SALES ( \R LIT]ATURE4 ,HE HAD ALSO TAK5 MONEY FROM ! RECEIPTS TO S5D TO HIS MO!R4 ,HE LOV$ H] PASSIONATELY1 & HE HAD ALWAYS LOOK$ AFT] H]4 ,HE HAD NOT D>$ TO TELL ME ?AT HIS MO!R DEP5D$ ON HIM1 BECAUSE HE FE>$ ,I W\LD S5D HIM AWAY4 ,EV]Y TIME ,I HAD EXPRESS$ SURPRISE ?AT MONEY WAS APP>5TLY MISS+ FROM \R ACC\NTS1 HE HAD LI$4 ,! EXCUSES HE HAD GIV5 = SO (T5 VANI%+ AFT] MY MEET+S OR = /AY+ AWAY DUR+ ! DAY W]E ALL FALSE4 ,HE HAD GONE ) O!R WOM51 WOM5 HE HAD MET AT ! LECTURES OR SOME:]E ELSE4 ,9 NE>LY EV]Y CITY HE HAD GONE ) WOM54 ,HE DID NOT LOVE !M1 BUT !Y ATTRACT$ HIM PHYSICALLY TO ! PO9T ( OBSESSION4 ,HE HAD ALWAYS HAD SU* OBSESSIONS & PROBABLY ALWAYS W\LD HAVE4 ,!SE WOM5 HAD NEV] MEANT ANY?+ MORE ?AN A MOM5T'S DI/RACTION4 ,HE ALWAYS =GOT !M AFT]W>DS2 (T5 HE DID NOT EV5 KN[ !IR NAMES4 ,YES1 HE HAD GONE ) O!R WOM5 DUR+ ! F\R MON?S2 YET HE LOV$ ONLY ME4 ,HE HAD LOV$ ME FROM ! FIR/1 & EA* DAY HIS PASSION = ME HAD 9CREAS$4 ,I WAS ! GREATE/ =CE 9 HIS LIFE1 MY WORK HIS DEEPE/ CONC]N4 ,HE W\LD PROVE IT IF ,I ONLY W\LD NOT S5D HIM AWAY1 IF ,I W\LD =GIVE HIM HIS LIES & HIS BETRAYAL1 IF ONLY ,I W\LD AGA9 HAVE CONFID5CE 9 HIM4 ,BUT EV5 IF ,I %\LD S5D HIM AWAY AFT] ,I HAD READ ! LETT]1 HE W\LD /ILL FEEL RELIEV$ ?AT HE HAD CONFESS$ TO ME4 ,HE REALIZ$ N[ H[ DIS9TEGRAT+ & CRU%+ IS ! P[] ( A LIE4   

,I HAD ! FEEL+ ( S9K+ 9TO A SWAMP4 ,9 DESP]ATION ,I CLUT*$ ! TABLE 9 FRONT ( ME & TRI$ TO CRY \T1 BUT NO S\ND CAME FROM MY ?ROAT4 ,I SAT NUMB1 ! T]RIBLE LETT] SEEM+ TO CREEP OV] ME1 WORD BY WORD1 & DRAW+ ME 9TO ITS SLIME4 

,I WAS BR\<T BACK TO MYSELF BY ,SA%A'S >RIVAL4 ,SA%A -- AT ?IS MOM5T -- ( ALL PEOPLE6 ,H[ HE W\LD FEEL JU/IFI$ BY ?IS LETT] 9 ALL HE HAD SAID AB\T ,B56 ,I BROKE \T 9 UNCONTROLLABLE LAU<T]4 

0,EMMA1 Y\R LAU< IS T]RIBLE4 ,IT CUTS LIKE A KNIFE4 ,:AT IS IT80 

0,NO?+1 NO?+1 ONLY ,I MU/ GET \T ON ! /REET OR ,I %ALL *OKE40 

,I SNAT*$ UP MY COAT & HAT & RAN D[N ! FIVE FLI<TS4 ,I WALK$ = H\RS1 ! LETT] BURN+ 9 MY HEAD4 

,?IS WAS ! MAN :OM ,I HAD TAK5 9TO MY HE>T1 MY LIFE1 MY WORK6 ,FOOL1 LOVESICK FOOL ?AT ,I WAS1 BL9D$ BY PASSION NOT TO SEE :AT EV]YONE ELSE SAW4 ,I1 ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN1 TO BE C>RI$ AWAY LIKE ANY ORD9>Y WOMAN ( =TY BY A MAD ATTRACTION = A Y\NG MAN1 A /RANG] PICK$ UP AT A *ANCE MEET+1 AN ALI5 TO MY EV]Y ?\<T & FEEL+1 ! REV]SE ( ! IDEAL ( MAN ,I HAD ALWAYS *]I%$4 ,NO1 NO6 ,IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE6 ,! LETT] C\LD NOT BE TRUE2 IT WAS ALL AN 9V5TION1 IMAG9>Y2 IT C\LD NOT BE REAL4 ,B5 WAS IMPRESSIONABLE1 SUSCEPTIBLE TO EV]Y 9FLU5CE1 ALWAYS SEE+ HIS [N REFLECTION 9 ! BOOKS HE READ4 ,HE LOV$ TO DRAMATIZE HIMSELF & HIS LIFE4 ,! TRAG$Y ( ! PEASANT 9 ,BOY]'S NOVEL :O ?\<TLESSLY1 EV5 NE$LESSLY1 TELLS A LIE & IS =C$ TO LIE = ! RE/ ( HIS LIFE TO SU/A9 HIS FIR/ FALSEHOOD IS VIVIDLY DEPICT$4 ,B5 MU/ HAVE READ HIMSELF 9TO ?AT *>ACT]4 ,?AT WAS ALL4 ,?AT MU/ BE ALL4 ,ALL ?IS ,I ?\<T AS ,I WALK$ = H\RS1 TORN BETWE5 MY 9T5SE DESIRE TO BELIEVE 9 HIM1 & MY FEEL+ ?AT ,I HAD GIV5 MYSELF TO A MAN LACK+ ALL 9TEGRITY1 A CREATURE ,I C\LD NEV] TRU/ AGA94 

,DAYS ( ANGUI% FOLL[$1 TORTUR$ BY ATTEMPTS TO EXPLA9 & EXCUSE ,B5'S ACTS1 ATTEMPTS IRRITAT+ & VA94 ,OV] & AGA9 ,I REPEAT$ TO MYSELF3 0,B5 COMES FROM A WORLD :]E LIES PREVAIL 9 ALL HUMAN RELATIONS4 ,HE DOES NOT KN[ ?AT FREE SPIRITS 9 !IR LOVE & TASKS HONE/LY & FRANKLY %>E EV]Y?+ LIFE BR+S2 ?AT AMONG PEOPLE ) IDEALS NO ONE NE$ *EAT1 /EAL1 OR LIE4 ,HE IS ( ANO!R WORLD4 ,:AT RI<T HAVE ,I TO CONDEMN1 ,I :O CLAIM TO TEA* NEW VALUES ( LIFE8 0 0,BUT HIS OBSESSIONS8 ,HIS GO+ ) EV]Y WOMAN80 ,MY HE>T CRI$ \T 9 PROTE/4 0,WOM5 HE DOES NOT LOVE1 DOES NOT EV5 RESPECT4 ,CAN Y\ JU/IFY ?AT1 TOO8 ,NO1 NO60 CAME FROM !  DEP?S ( MY WOMAN'S S\L4 0,YES10 REPLI$ MY BRA91 0IF IT IS HIS NATURE1 HIS DOM9ANT NE$1 H[ CAN ,I OBJECT8 ,I HAVE PROPAGAT$ FRE$OM 9 SEX4 ,I HAVE HAD MANY M5 MYSELF4 ,BUT ,I LOV$ !M2 ,I HAVE NEV] BE5 ABLE TO GO 9DISCRIM9ATELY ) M54 ,IT WILL BE PA9FUL1 LAC]AT+1 TO FEEL MYSELF ONE ( MANY 9 ,B5'S LIFE4 ,IT WILL BE A FE>FUL PRICE TO PAY = MY LOVE4 ,BUT NO?+ WOR? :ILE IS GA9$ EXCEPT AT HEAVY CO/4 ,I'VE PAID DE>LY = ! RI<T TO MYSELF1 = MY SOCIAL IDEAL1 = EV]Y?+ ,I HAVE A*IEV$4 ,IS MY LOVE = ,B5 SO WEAK ?AT ,I %ALL NOT BE ABLE TO PAY ! PRICE HIS FRE$OM ( ACTION DEM&S80 ,!RE WAS NO ANSW]4 ,9 VA9 DID ,I /RIVE TO H>MONIZE ! CONFLICT+ ELEM5TS ?AT W]E W>R+ 9 MY S\L4 

,DAZ$ & H>DLY AW>E ( MY SURR\ND+S1 ,I JUMP$ \T ( B$4 ,IT WAS /ILL D>K4 ,LIKE A SLEEP-WALK] ,I GOT 9TO MY CLO!S1 FELT MY WAY TO ,SA%A'S ROOM1 & %OOK HIM \T ( SLEEP4 

0,I MU/ GO TO ,B510 ,I SAID4 0,WILL Y\ TAKE ME TO HIM80 

,SA%A WAS />TL$4 ,HE SWIT*$ ON ! LI<T & SE>*+LY LOOK$ AT ME4 ,BUT HE ASK$ NO QUE/IONS & SAID NO?+4 ,HE HURRI$LY DRESS$ & ACCOMPANI$ ME4 

,WE WALK$ 9 SIL5CE4 ,MY HEAD SWAM1 MY FEET W]E UN/EADY4 ,SA%A PUT MY >M 9 HIS4 ,9 MY PURSE WAS A KEY TO ! H\SE :]E ,B5 WAS ROOM+4 ,I LET MYSELF 91 !N TURN$ TO ,SA%A = A MOM5T4 ,)\T A WORD ,I CLOS$ ! DOOR & RAN UP ! TWO FLI<TS1 BUR/+ 9TO ,B5'S ROOM4 

,HE JUMP$ UP ) A CRY4 0,MOMMY1 Y\'VE COME AT LA/6 ,Y\ HAVE =GIV51 Y\ HAVE UND]/OOD40 ,WE CLUNG TO EA* O!R1 EV]Y?+ ELSE WIP$ \T4 

,FROM 3 ,AN>*Y ,>*IVES4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,DECEMB] #c#a1 #aic 3 ,VOLUME #a1 ,*APT] #cc -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,JANU>Y #b#c1 #bag 3 ,VOLUME #a1 ,*APT] #cc -- ,ADD$4 

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