#ahih 

#aiagaiag 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TRANSLATOR 3 ,ROSE ,/RUNSKY 

,TEXT 3 

#ahih 

  
  

.<#a#i#c.> 

,TWO DAYS HAVE PASS$4  
,JAN4 #a/4 

,I MEET ! NEW YE> V]Y SAD1 DEPRESS$1 UNWELL4 ,I CANNOT WORK & MY /OMA* A*ES ALL ! TIME4 

,RECEIV$ A LETT] FROM ,V]KHOL5SK FROM ,PH$OSEEV AB\T ! ,DUKHOBORS1 A V]Y T\*+ ONE4.<#b#g#i.> 

,/ILL ANO!R LETT] FROM ! $ITOR ,! ,ADULT AB\T FREE LOVE4.<#b#h.> ,IF ,I HAD TIME1 ,I W\LD LIKE TO WRITE AB\T ?IS SUBJECT4 ,PROBABLY ,I %ALL WRITE4 ,! MO/ IMPORTANT IS TO %[ ?AT ! :OLE MATT] LIES 9 APPROPRIAT+ TO ONESELF POSSIBILITIES ( ! GREATE/ 5JOYM5T )\T ?9K+ ( CONSEQU5CES4 ,BESIDES1 !Y PREA* SOME?+ :I* ALREADY EXI/S & IS V]Y BAD4 ,:Y W\LD ! ABS5CE ( \T]  
RE/RA9T.<#b#h#a.> IMPROVE ! :OLE ?+8 ,I AM1 ( C\RSE1 AGA9/ ANY REGULATION & = FULL FRE$OM1 BUT ! IDEAL IS *A/ITY & NOT PLEASURE4 

,I HAVE BE5 ?9K+ DUR+ ?IS TIME ONLY ONE ?+ & IT SEEMS AN IMPORTANT ?+1 NAMELY3 

#a7 ,WE ALL ?9K ?AT \R DUTY1 \R VOCATION1 IS TO DO V>I\S ?+S3 BR+ UP *ILDR51 MAKE A.<#a#i#d.> =TUNE1 WRITE A BOOK1 DISCOV] A LAW 9 SCI5CE1 ETC4 ,BUT = ALL ! WORK IS ONLY ONE ?+3 TO C>RY \T ONE'S [N LIFE--TO ACT SO ?AT LIFE W\LD BE A H>MONI\S1 GOOD1 & RATIONAL MATT]4 ,& ! WORK \<T TO BE NOT BE=E PEOPLE1 TO LEAVE BEH9D ONE A MEMORY ( A GOOD LIFE1 BUT ! WORK IS BE=E ,GOD3 TO PRES5T TO ,HIM ONESELF1 ONE'S S\L1 BETT] ?AN IT WAS1 NE>] TO ,HIM1 MORE SUBMISSIVE TO ,HIM1 MORE 9 H>MONY ) ,HIM4 

,TO ?9K SO--& PR9CIPALLY TO FEEL SO--IS V]Y DIFFICULT3 ,ONE ALWAYS W&]S (F = HUMAN PRAISE4 ,BUT IT IS POSSIBLE & \<T TO BE DONE4 

,HELP ME1 ,LORD4 ,I SOMETIMES FEEL ?IS & DO AT ?IS MOM5T4 

,JAN4 #b4 ,MOSC[4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,TO-DAY1 ALREADY ! #d?4 

,I AM A LITTLE BETT]4 ,I WANT TO WORK4 ,YE/]DAY ,/ASOV &  
,REP9E1.<#b#h#b.> C(FEE4444 ,:5 WILL ,I REMEMB] ?AT MU* TALK IS MU* BO!R8 

,I RECEIV$ A PAMPHLET UNC5SOR$4 

,ONLY ONE ?+ HAS TO BE NOT$ D[N3 ?AT ALL LIFE IS S5SELESS1 EXCEPT ?AT :I* HAS = ITS 5D ! S]VICE ( ,GOD1 ! S]VICE ( ! FULFILLM5T ( ! WORK ( ,GOD1 :I* IS UNATTA9ABLE TO US4 ,I %ALL WRITE ?AT \T LAT]4 ,N[ ,I AM 9 A HURRY4 

,DE> ,MA%A >RIV$1 LAT] ,TANIA ) ,SA%A4.<#b#h#c.> 

,JAN4 #e4 ,MOSC[4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

.<#a#i#e.> 

,TO-DAY1 ,JAN4 #a#c4 

,IT IS MORE ?AN A WEEK ?AT ,I HAV5'T WRITT5 & ,I HAVE DONE ALMO/ NO?+4 ,I HAVE BE5 ILL ALL ! TIME1 & DEPRESS$4 ,AT TIMES1 ,I AM GOOD & CALM1 & AT TIMES UNEASY & NOT GOOD4 ,! DAY BE=E YE/]DAY WAS DIFFICULT4 ,!N ! PEASANTS >RIV$3 ,BULAKHOV1 ) ,/41 ,PET41 & TWO FROM ,TULA4 ,I FELT SO LI<!>T$ & 5]GETIC4 ,ONE NE$ NOT YIELD TO ONE'S [N CIRCLE1 ONE CAN ALWAYS 5T] ! CIRCLE ( ,GOD & ,HIS PEOPLE4 

,IT IS LONG S9CE ,I HAVE BE5 SO DEPRESS$4 ,A LETT] FROM ,PO%A4 ,WROTE TO ,PO%A1 ,IVAN ,MI*AILOVI*1 ,*]TKOV1 ,MAUDE &  
,B\LANG]4 

,I AM /ILL 5DEAVOR+ TO F9D A SATISFACTORY =M = ,HAJJI ,MURAD & ,I /ILL HAV5'T IT1 AL?\< IT SEEMS ,I AM NE>+ IT4 

444 ,TO-DAY A TELEGRAM AB\T ! WORK1 0,:AT IS ,>T80 

,HAVE MADE SOME NOTES & ,I ?9K IMPORTANT ONES4 

#a7 ,SOME?+ ( 5ORM\S IMPORTANCE & \<T TO BE EXP\ND$ WELL4 ,ORGANIZATION1 EV]Y K9D ( ORGANIZATION1 :I* FREES FROM ANY K9D ( HUMAN1 P]SONAL1 MORAL DUTIES4 ,ALL ! EVIL 9 ! WORLD COMES FROM ?IS4 ,!Y FLOG PEOPLE TO DEA?1 !Y DEBAU*1 !Y BECL\D !IR M9DS & NO ONE IS TO BLAME4 ,9 ! TALE ( ! RESURRECTION ( HELL1 ?IS IS ! MO/ IMPORTANT & NEW MEANS4.<#b#h#d.> 

.<#a#i#f.> 

#b7 ,EA* ONE ( US IS ?AT LI<T1 ?AT DIV9E ESS5CE1 LOVE1 ! ,SON ( ,GOD1 5CLOS$ 9 A BODY1 9 LIMITS1 9 ! COLOR$ LANT]N :I* WE HAVE PA9T$ ) \R PASSIONS & HABITS--SO ?AT EV]Y?+ WE SEE1 WE SEE ONLY ?R\< ?IS LANT]N4 ,TO RAISE ONESELF SO AS TO SEE ABOVE IT1 IS IMPOSSIBLE2 ON TOP !RE IS ! SAME K9D ( GLASS ?R\< :I* WE SEE EV5 ,GOD1 ?R\< ! GLASS :I* WE \RSELVES HAVE PA9T$4 ,! ONLY ?+ :I* WE CAN DO IS NOT TO LOOK ?R\< ! GLASSES1 BUT TO CONC5TRATE 9 \RSELVES1 RECOGNIZE \R LI<T & K9DLE IT4 ,& ?IS IS ! ONE SALVATION FROM ! DELUSIONS ( LIFE1 FROM ITS SUFF]+1 FROM ITS TEMPTATIONS4 ,& ?IS IS JOYFUL & ALWAYS POSSIBLE4 

,I DO ?IS1 & IT IS GOOD4 

#c7 ,DREAMS--!Y >E NO?+ ELSE ?AN ! LOOK+ ON ! WORLD NOT ?R\< ! GLASSES1 BUT ONLY ON ! GLASSES1 & ON ! 9T]WEAV+ ( V>I\S DESIGNS 9T]WOV5 ON ! GLASSES4 ,9 SLEEP Y\ ONLY SEE ! GLASSES2 :5 AWAKE1 ! WORLD1 ?R\< ! GLASSES4 

#d7 ,A WOMAN CAN1 :5 %E LOVES A MAN1 SEE M]ITS 9 HIM :I* HE HAS NOT1 BUT :5 %E IS 9DIFF]5T1 %E IS UNABLE TO SEE A MAN'S M]ITS O!R ?AN ?R\< ! OP9ION ( O!RS4 7,H[EV]1 ,I ?9K IT IS UNTRUE47 

#e7 ,! FOLL[+ :5 ,I WROTE IT1 SEEM$ TO ME V]Y IMPORTANT3 

.<#a#i#g.> 

,*RI/IANS /RIVE TO A UNION1 & UNITE AMONG !MSELVES & ) O!R PEOPLE BY ! ,*RI/IAN TOOL--BY UNITY1 HUMILITY1 LOVE4 ,BUT !RE >E PEOPLE :O DO NOT KN[ ?IS MEANS ( UNION1 DO NOT BELIEVE 9 IT & :O 5DEAVOR TO UNITE 7ALL PEOPLE 5DEAVOR TO UNITE7 ) O!R MEANS1 \T] ONES1 ) =CE1 ?REATS4 ,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DEM& ( !SE PEOPLE :O DO NOT KN[1 :O CANNOT UND]/& ! ,*RI/IAN MEANS ( UNION1 ?AT !Y DO NOT MAKE USE ( !IR MEANS2 BUT IT IS ABSOLUTELY UNJU/ & UNREASONABLE :5 !SE UN-,*RI/IAN PEOPLE IMPOSE !IR [N L[] MEANS ( UNION UPON PEOPLE KN[+ & US+ A HI<] MEANS4 ,!Y SAY1 0,Y\ ,*RI/IANS1 Y\ PR(IT BY \R MEANS2 IF Y\ HAVE NOT BE5 ROBB$ & KILL$1 IT IS ?ANKS TO US40 ,TO ?IS ! ,*RI/IANS ANSW]1 ?AT !Y DON'T NE$ ANY?+ :I* =CE GIVES !M 7AS IS REALLY ! FACT = A ,*RI/IAN74 

,& ?AT IS :Y1 ?\< IT IS LEGITIMATE = PEOPLE NOT KN[+ A HI<] MEANS ( UNION1 TO USE A L[]1 IT IS ILLEGITIMATE1 ?AT !Y LOOK UPON !IR [N L[] MEANS AS A G5]AL & UNIQUE ONE1 & WANT TO COMPEL ?OSE = :OM IT CANNOT BE NECESS>Y TO USE IT4 ,! PR9CIPAL /EP BE=E HUMANITY N[ CONSI/S 9 ?IS1 ?AT PEOPLE %\LD NOT ONLY RECOGNIZE & ADMIT ! MEANS ( ,*RI/IAN UNION1 BUT ?AT !Y %\LD RECOGNIZE ?AT IT IS ! HI<E/1 ! ONE TO :I* ALL HUMANITY IS /RIV+ & TO :I* IT WILL 9EVITABLY REA*4 

.<#a#i#h.> 

#f7 ,:5 Y\ >E FULL ( 5]GY1 !N Y\ LIVE1 & Y\ \<T TO LIVE = ?IS WORLD2 :5 Y\ >E SICK1 !N Y\ >E DY+1 I4E41 Y\ BEG9 TO LIVE = ?AT O!R AFT]-DEA? WORLD4 ,SO ?AT 9 EI!R PHASE1 !RE IS WORK4 ,:5 Y\ >E SICK1 DY+1 !N CONC5TRATE 9 Y\RSELF & ?9K AB\T DEA? & AB\T LIFE AFT] DEA?1 & /OP LONG+ = ?IS ONE4 ,BO? PROCESSES >E NORMAL & 9 BO? !RE EXI/S WORK PROP] TO EA* /ATE4 

,I FEEL SOME:AT FRE%] SPIRITUALLY4 

,JAN4 #a#d1 ,MOSC[4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,TO-DAY1 #a#h4 

,MY HEAL? IS A LITTLE BETT]4 ,IT IS N[ EV5+4 ,WROTE LETT]S1 #a7 ,*]TKOV2 #b7 ,DUBROV92 #c7 ,DUBROVSKY2 ,TV]2 #d7 ,TULA3 ,N4 L4 ,KH42 #e7 ,NAKA%IDZE2 #f7 ,IVAN ,MI*AILOVI*4 

,TO-DAY ! PLOT ( ,HAJJI ,MURAD BECAME CLE>] ?AN EV] BE=E4 

,JAN4 #a#i4 ,MOSC[4 

,DEPRESS+ & UNPRODUCTIVE4 ,I CANNOT WORK4 ,SEV]AL TIMES A WEEK ,I REMEMB] ?AT EV]Y?+ DISAGREEABLE IS ONLY AN ,]MAHNUNG = AN ADVANCE ONW>D T[>DS P]FECTION4 

,HELP1 ,FA!R4 ,COME & DWELL )9 ME4 ,Y\ ALREADY DWELL )9 ME4 ,Y\ >E ALREADY 0ME40 ,MY WORK IS ONLY TO RECOGNIZE ,!E4 ,I.<#a#i#i.> WRITE ?IS JU/ N[ & AM FULL ( DESIRE4 ,BUT NEV]!LESS ,I KN[ :O ,I AM4 

,TO-DAY1 ,FEB4 #b4 ,MOSC[4 

,V]Y WEAK & APA!TIC4 ,ALL ! TIME ,I EI!R READ OR CORRECT$ PRO(S ( ,>T4 ,!RE IS MU* TO BE NOT$4 ,BUT ,I HAVE NEI!R /R5G? NOR DESIRE4 ,!RE HAVE BE5 NO EV5TS1 NO LETT]S4 

,FEB4 #c1 ,MOSC[4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,FEBRU>Y #c1 ,MOSC[4 

,I AM /ILL AS UNPRODUCTIVE 9TELLECTUALLY4 ,9 ! MORN+ IT FLA%$ ACROSS MY M9D ?AT ,I LEFT \T ! PLACES 9 ,>T AB\T ! TR9ITY1 & DO+ NO WORK1 ,I W5T TO ,GROT & FROM !RE TO ! PUBLI%+ H\SE4 ,I RETURN$ PA/ TWO1 READ1 LAY D[N1 D9$4 ,T>OVAT.<#b#h#e.> >RIV$1 !N ,M5%IKOV1 ,POPOV1 ,GORBUNOV1 & !N--,GUL5KO1.<#b#h#f.> ,SULL]4.<#b#h#g.> 

,READ ,LIAPUNOV'S ,! ,PL[MAN4 ,I WAS V]Y T\*$4.<#b#h#h.> 

,HAVE NOT$ D[N ! FOLL[+3 

#a7 ,9 MOM5TS ( DEPRESSION ,I WANT TO ASK HELP FROM ,GOD4 ,& ,I MAY ASK IT4 ,BUT ONLY SU* HELP :I* MI<T HELP ME & NOT 9T]F]E ) ANY ONE ELSE4 ,& SU* HELP IS ONLY ONE ?+3 LOVE4 ,EV]Y O!R K9D ( HELP1 MAT]IAL HELP1 NOT ONLY MI<T1 BUT MU/ COME 9 CONFLICT.<#b.> ) ! MAT]IAL GOOD ( O!RS4 ,ONLY LOVE ALONE--! 5L>GEM5T ( LOVE 9 ONESELF--SATISFIES EV]Y?+ :I* ONE CAN WANT & DOES NOT COME 9 CONFLICT ) ! GOOD ( O!RS4 0,COME & DWELL )9 US40 

#b7 ,WOM5 DO NOT USE WORDS TO EXPRESS !IR ?\<TS1 BUT TO ATTA9 !IR 5DS1 & IT IS ?IS PURPOSE !Y HUNT 9 ! WORDS ( O!RS4 ,?AT IS :Y !Y SO (T5 UND]/& PEOPLE WRONG SIDE \T4 ,& ?IS IS V]Y DISAGREEABLE4 

#c7 ,! MEAN+ ( LIFE IS ONLY ONE3 SELF-P]FECTION--! BETT]+ ( ONE'S S\L4 0,BE P]FECT LIKE \R ,FA!R 9 ,HEAV540 

,:5 ?+S >E DIFFICULT1 :5 SOME?+ TORTURES Y\1 REMEMB] ?AT 9 LIFE1 ONLY Y\ >E ! LIFE--& IMM$IATELY IT WILL BECOME EASI]4 ,& JOYFUL4 ,AS A RI* MAN REJOICES :5 HE GA!RS HIS WEAL?1 SO WILL Y\ REJOICE IF Y\ PLACE Y\R LIFE ONLY 9 ?IS4 ,& = ! ATTA9M5T ( ?IS1 !RE >E NO B>RI]S4 ,EV]Y?+ :I* APPE>S LIKE SORR[1 LIKE A B>RI] 9 LIFE--IS A WIDE /EP :I* (F]S ITSELF TO Y\R FEET ?AT Y\ MAY ASC5D4 

#d7 ,IF Y\ HAVE ! /R5G? ( ACTIVITY !N LET IT BE A LOV+ ONE2 IF Y\ HAVE NO /R5G?1 IF Y\ >E WEAK1 !N LET Y\R WEAKNESS BE A LOV+ ONE4 

#e7 ,9ORGANIC MATT] IS SIMPLY ! LIFE ( ?AT :I* WE DO NOT UND]/&4 ,= FLEAS ! 9ORGANIC.<#b#a.> IS MY F+]-NAIL4 ,9 ! SAME WAY1 EVIL IS ! NON-UND]/OOD GOOD4.<#b#h#i.> 

#f7 ,TO S]VE ,GOD & MAN1 BUT H[1 ) :AT8 ,P]HAPS ! POSSIBILITY DOESN'T EXI/8 ,IT IS NOT TRUE3 ! POSSIBILITY HAS ALWAYS BE5 GIV5 Y\--TO BECOME BETT]4 

#g7 ,MAN IS AN AMBASSADOR1 AS ,*RI/ SAID1 AN AMBASSADOR 9DE$ = :OM ! IMPORTANT ?+ IS ONLY TO FULFILL ! ]R& GIV5 TO HIM1 & IT DOESN'T MATT] :AT IS ?\<T AB\T HIM4 ,LET !M ?9K BADLY--SOMETIMES IT IS NECESS>Y4 ,ONLY LET ! ]R& BE FULFILL$4 

#h7 ,ONE ( ! MO/ COMMON ]RORS CONSI/S 9 ?IS1 ?AT PEOPLE >E CONSID]$ GOOD1 MALICI\S1 /UPID1 9TELLIG5T4 ,MAN FL[S ON & EV]Y POSSIBILITY IS 9 HIM3 HE WAS /UPID1 & HAS BECOME 9TELLIG5T2 HE WAS WICK$ & HAS BECOME GOOD1 & ! REV]SE4 ,9 ?IS IS ! GREATNESS ( MAN4 ,& !RE=E IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO JUDGE MAN AS HE IS4 ,Y\ HAVE JUDG$ & HE IS ALREADY ANO!R4 ,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY--,I DO NOT LOVE HIM3 Y\ HAVE SAID IT & HE IS ALREADY ANO!R4 

#i7 444 

#a7 ,! FACT ?AT ! 5D ( LIFE IS SELF-P]FECTION1 ?AT ! P]FECTION ( ! IMMORTAL S\L IS ! ONLY 5D ( ! LIFE ( MAN1 IS ALREADY TRUE BECAUSE EV]Y O!R 5D 9 ! VIEW ( DEA?1 IS S5SELESS4 

#a#a7 ,IF MAN DELIB]ATES UPON ! CONSEQU5CES.<#b#b.> ( HIS ACT1 !N ! MOTIVES ( HIS ACT >E NOT RELIGI\S4 

#a#b7 ,! PAP]-KNIFE ON MY KNEES FELL OV] ON ACC\NT ( ITS WEI<T1 & IT SEEM$ TO ME ?AT IT WAS SOME?+ ALIVE1 & ,I %UDD]$4 ,:Y8 ,BECAUSE !RE IS A DUTY TO EV]Y?+ LIV+ & ,I GREW FRI<T5$ LE/ ,I HADN'T FULFILL$ IT1 & LE/ ,I HAD CRU%$1 SQUEEZ$ A LIV+ BE+4 

#a#c7 444 ,9 ?IS LIES ! :OLE MATT]--TO DE/ROY ?IS HYPNOSIS4 

#a#d7 ,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO WI% ?AT \R ACTS BE KN[N & APPROV$4 ,= HIM :O HAS NO ,GOD1 IT IS NECESS>Y ?AT HIS ACTS BE KN[N & APPROV$4 ,BUT = HIM :O HAS ,GOD1 IT IS SUFFICI5T ?AT !Y BE KN[N4 ,BY ?IS CAN IT BE V]IFI$ IF A MAN HAS ,GOD4 

#d? ,FEB4 ,MOSC[4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,TO-DAY1 ! #e?4 ,MORN+4 

,I DO NOT FEEL LIKE WRIT+ AT ALL4 ,ALL !SE LA/ DAYS1 ESPECIALLY YE/]DAY1 ,I HAVE BE5 FEEL+ & APPLY+ TO LIFE1 ! CONSCI\SNESS ?AT ! 5D ( LIFE IS ONE3 TO BE P]FECT LIKE ! ,FA!R1 TO DO ?AT :I* ,HE DOES1 ?AT :I* ,HE WANTS FROM US1 I4E41 TO LOVE2 ?AT LOVE %\LD GUIDE US 9 ! MOM5TS ( \R MO/ 5]GETIC ACTIVITY1 & ?AT WE BREA! ) IT ALONE 9 ! MOM5TS ( \R GREATE/ WEAKNESS4 ,:5EV] !RE IS SOME?+.<#b#c.> DIFFICULT1 PA9FUL1 !N IT SUFFICES TO REMEMB] ?IS1 & ALL ?IS DIFFICULTY1 ?IS PA91 WILL VANI% & ONLY ! JOY\S WILL REMA94 

,TO A MAN :O S]I\SLY1 TRULY USES HIS REASON1 IT IS OBVI\S ?AT ALL 5DS >E CLOS$ TO HIM4 ,ONE ALONE IS REASONABLE3 TO LIVE = ! SATISFACTION ( ! DEM&S ( ,GOD1 ( HIS CONSCI5CE1 ( HIS HI<] NATURE4 7,IT IS ALL ! SAME ?+47 ,IF ?IS IS TO BE EXPRESS$ 9 TIME1 !N TO LIVE SO AS TO PREP>E ONE'S S\L TO ! PASS+-OV] 9TO A BETT] WORLD3 IF ?IS IS TO BE EXPRESS$ ACCURATELY 9 T]MS \TSIDE ( TIME1 !N IT IS TO FUZE ONE'S LIFE ) ITS TIMELESS PR9CIPLE1 ) ! ,GOOD1 ) ,LOVE1 ) ,GOD4 ,I AM AFRAID ONLY ( ONE ?+1 ?AT ?IS /RONG CONSCI\SNESS ACT+ B5EFICIALLY ON ME1 ?AT ! ONLY ?+ REASONABLE & FREE & JOY\S IS ! LIFE 9 ,GOD1 BE NOT CALL\S$1 ?AT IT DO NOT LOSE ITS EFFECT ( LIFT+ ME \T ( ! PETTY ANNOYANCES ( LIFE1 & ( FREE+ ME4 ,OH1 IF ?AT C\LD BE SO TO EV]Y ONE & IF IT C\LD BE SO =EV]6 ,9 ?IS LI<T LA/ NI<T ,I CONSID]$ ! V>I\S MANIFE/ATIONS ( LIFE & ,I FELT SO WELL & JOY\S4 ,I WILL AWAIT ! EXAM9ATION4 ,I %ALL PREP>E = IT4 

,:5 ,I WROTE \T ! NOTES1 ,I =GOT3 

#a7 ,H[ ABSURD IS ! >GUM5T ( ! 5EMIES ( MORAL P]FECTION1 ?AT A MAN1 SACRIFIC+ HIMSELF REALLY1 WILL SACRIFICE HIS P]FECTION = ! GOOD ( O!RS1 I4E41 ?AT A MAN IS READY TO BECOME EVIL1.<#b#d.> 9 ORD] TO ACT WELL4 ,IF ONE UND]/&S BY ?IS ?AT A MAN IS READY TO ACT BADLY BE=E PEOPLE1 IF ONLY HE C\LD !REBY FULFILL ! DEM&S ( HIS CONSCI5CE & NOT S]VE A C]TA9 CAUSE OR EV5 C]TA9 PEOPLE1 !N ?IS IS TRUE4 ,! S]V+ ( A CAUSE & ( PEOPLE CAN SOMETIMES CO9CIDE1 & CAN SOMETIMES NOT CO9CIDE ) ! DEM&S ( CONSCI5CE2 & NOT S]V+ A C]TA9 CAUSE OR PEOPLE1 CAN SOMETIMES CO9CIDE & CAN SOMETIMES NOT CO9CIDE ) ! DEM&S ( CONSCI5CE4 ,!SE >E 9DIVIDUAL CASES4 

#b7 ,TO D\BT ?AT ! S\RCE ( ALL EVIL IS FALSE RELIGI\S TEA*+1 CAN ONLY BE DONE BY A MAN :O HASN'T ?\<T ( ! CAUSES ( ! DAILY MANIFE/ATIONS ( SOCIAL LIFE4 ,! CAUSES ( ALL !SE MANIFE/ATIONS >E ?\<TS--?\<TS ( PEOPLE4 ,H[ !N C\LD FALSE ?\<TS NOT HAVE AN 5ORM\S 9FLU5CE ON ! SOCIAL SY/EM8 ,PEOPLE1 SOME ( !M1 >E WELL (F 9 A FALSE SY/EM BAS$ ON FALSE ?\<TS2 IT IS NATURAL ?AT !Y SUPPORT FALSE ?\<TS1 FALSE-RELIGI\S TEA*+4 

#c7 ,I CANNOT WRITE & ,I SUFF]1 ,I =CE MYSELF4 ,H[ /UPID6 ,AS IF LIFE LAY 9 WRIT+4 ,IT DOES NOT EV5 LIE 9 ANY \T] ACTIVITY4 ,IT IS NOT AS ,I WILL1 BUT AS ,?\ WILT4 ,IT IS EV5 FULL] & MORE SIGNIFICANT )\T WRIT+4 ,& H]E N[ ,I AM LE>N+ TO LIVE )\T WRIT+4 ,& ,I AM ABLE TO4 

#d7 ,I SEE ?AT ,I HAVE MADE A NOTE & HAVE ALREADY.<#b#e.> SAID IT H]E1 NAMELY1 ?AT TO P]FECT ONESELF DOES NOT MEAN TO PREP>E ONESELF = A FUTURE LIFE.<#b#i.> 7?AT IS SAID = CONV5I5CE1 = SIMPLICITY ( SPEE*72 BUT TO P]FECT ONESELF MEANS TO GET NE>] TO ?AT BASIS ( LIFE = :I* TIME DOES NOT EXI/ & !RE=E NO DEA?1 I4E41 TO C>RY ONE'S 0SELF0 MORE & MORE AWAY FROM ! BODILY LIFE 9TO ! SPIRITUAL4 

#e7 ,EVG5IE ,IVANOVI* SAYS AB\T ,N3 %E IS AT PEACE ONLY :5 ONE OCCUPIES ONESELF ) H]4 ,ANY OCCUPATION ) ANY?+ NOT CONC]N+ H]1 DOES NOT 9T]E/ H]4 ,EV]Y SU* OCCUPATION ) O!R PEOPLE (F5DS H]4 ,IT SEEMS TO H] ?AT %E BE>S ! LIFE ( EV]Y ONE NE> H]1 ?AT )\T H] EV]YBODY W\LD BE LO/4 ,= ! LEA/ REPROA*1 %E 9SULTS EV]Y ONE4 ,& 9 #a M9UTES %E =GETS IT1 & %E HASN'T ! LEA/ REMORSE4 

,?IS IS ! HI<E/ DEGREE ( EGOTISM & MADNESS1 BUT !RE >E MANY GRADES APPROA*+ ?IS4 ,AT BOTTOM1 TO ?9K ?AT ,I LIVE = MYSELF1 = MY [N 5JOYM5T1 = FAME1 IS ABSOLUTE POT5TIAL MADNESS4 ,9 LIV+--IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO LIVE = ONESELF1 IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO DEF5D ONESELF :5 ATTACK$1.<#b#i#a.> NOT TO FALL ON ! FOOD :5 HUNGRY2 BUT TO ?9K ?AT 9 ?IS IS LIFE1 & TO USE ?AT V]Y ?\<T GIV5 Y\ TO SEE ! IMPOSSIBILITY ( SU* A LIFE1 TO USE IT = ! /R5G!N+ ( SU* A SEP>ATE 9DIVIDUAL LIFE1 IS ABSOLUTE MADNESS4 

.<#b#f.> 

#f7 ,A WIFE APPROA*ES H] HUSB& & C>ESS+LY SPEAKS TO HIM AS %E DID NOT SPEAK BE=E4 ,! HUSB& IS MOV$1 BUT ?IS IS ONLY BECAUSE %E HAS DONE SOME?+ NA/Y4 

#g7 ,JEAN ,GRAVE1.<#b#i#b.> 0,L'9DIVIDU ET LA ,SOCIETE10 SAYS ?AT REVOLUTION WILL ONLY !N BE F]TILE :5 L'9DIVIDU WILL BE /RONG-WILL$1 DIS9T]E/$1 GOOD1 READY TO HELP HIS NEI<BOR1 WILL NOT BE VA91 WILL NOT CONDEMN O!RS1 WILL HAVE ! CONSCI\SNESS ( HIS [N DIGNITY1 I4E41 WILL HAVE ALL ! M]ITS ( A ,*RI/IAN4 ,BUT H[ WILL HE ACQUIRE !SE VIRTUES IF HE KN[S ?AT HE IS ONLY AN ACCID5TAL *A9 ( ATOMS8 ,ALL !SE VIRTUES >E POSSIBLE1 >E NATURAL1 9 FACT1 !IR ABS5CE IS IMPOSSIBLE :5 !RE IS A ,*RI/IAN WORLD-PO9T-(-VIEW--?AT IS1 ?AT WE >E SONS ( ,GOD S5T TO DO ,HIS ,WILL2 BUT 9 A MAT]IALI/IC WORLD-PO9T-(-VIEW !SE VIRTUES >E 9CONSI/5T4 

,IT IS N[ PA/ ONE4 ,I AM GO+ D[N/AIRS4 ,I AM GO+ TO WRITE TO-MORR[4 

,FEB4 #f4 ,MOSC[4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,TO-DAY1 ,FEB4 #a#i4 ,MOSC[4 

,IT IS LONG S9CE ,I HAVE MADE ANY 5TRIES4.<#b#i#c.> ,AT FIR/ ,I WAS ILL4 ,= AB\T #e DAYS ,I HAVE BE5 BETT]4 ,DUR+ ?IS TIME ,I WAS CORRECT+1 PUTT+ 9 ?+S & SPOIL+ ! LA/ *APT]S ( ,>T4 ,I DECID$ TO S5D AWAY ,C>P5T] ) ! 9TRODUCTION TO ,SIEV]NI ,VIE/NIK4 ,WAS CORRECT+ !.<#b#g.> PREFACE ALSO4 ,! G5]AL IMPRESSION ( ?IS >TICLE 0,ON ,SCI5CE0 AS WELL AS ?AT ( ! #b? *APT]--IS REMORSE4.<#b#i#d.> ,I FEEL ?AT IT IS RI<T1 ?AT IT IS NECESS>Y1 BUT IT IS PA9FUL ?AT ,I HURT & GRIEVE MANY GOOD PEOPLE :O ]R4 ,IT IS OBVI\S ?AT 4#i#i#i WILL NOT UND]/& :Y & 9 ! NAME ( :AT ,I CONDEMN SCI5CE1 & WILL BE 9DIGNANT4 ,I %\LD HAVE DONE ?AT ) GREAT] K9DNESS4 ,& 9 ?IS ,I AM GUILTY1 BUT IT IS N[ TOO LATE4 

,! LA/ TIME ,I WROTE1 ,I EXPRESS$ FE> LE/ ! C>RY+ OV] ( MYSELF FROM ?IS WORLDLY LIFE1 ! (F5D+1 ! IRRITAT+ ONE1 9TO ! LIFE BE=E ,GOD1 ! ET]NAL LIFE 7N[1 H]E7 :I* ,I EXP]I5C$ W\LD BECOME LO/1 W\LD BECOME CALL\S$4 ,BUT H]E #ac DAYS HAVE PASS$ & ,I /ILL FEEL ?IS & FELT IT ALL ! TIME & REJOIC$ & AM REJOIC+4 

,SOMETIMES ,I BEG9 TO LAY \T PATI5CE1 OR HE> AN IRRITAT+ CONV]SATION1 CONTRADICTION1 OR AM DISSATISFI$ ) MY WRIT+1 ) ! CONDEMNATION ( PEOPLE1 OR ,I REGRET SOME?+--& SUDD5LY ,I REMEMB] ?AT IT ONLY SEEMS SO TO ME1 BECAUSE ,I AM B5T OV] SE>*+ ON ! FLOOR1 & IT SUFFICES TO /RAI<T5 UP TO MY FULL HEI<T & EV]Y?+ ?AT WAS DISAGREEABLE1 IRRITAT+1 NOT ONLY VANI%ES1 BUT HELPS ! JOYS ( TRIUMPH OV] MY HUMAN WEAKNESS4 

,I HAV5'T YET EXP]I5C$ ?IS 9 /RONG PHYSICAL.<#b#h.> SUFF]+4 ,WILL IT 5DURE8 ,IT \<T TO 5DURE4 ,HELP1 ,LORD4 

,O!RWISE ,I AM V]Y JOY\S4 

,I AM JOY\S1 ?AT 9 OLD AGE !RE HAS BE5 DISCLOS$ ABSOLUTELY A NEW CONDITION ( ! GREAT 9DE/RUCTIBLE GOOD4 ,& ?IS IS NOT IMAG9ATION1 BUT A *ANGE ( S\L AS CLE>LY P]CEIV$ AS W>M? & COLD1 IT IS A GO+ OV] FROM CONFUSION1 SUFF]+1 TO A CLE>NESS & PEACE & A GO+ OV] :I* DEP5DS UPON MYSELF4 ,H]E1 9 TRU?1 IS :]E W+S HAVE SPR\T$4 ,AS SOON AS IT BECOMES DIFFICULT1 PA9FUL1 TO WALK ON FOOT1 Y\ SPREAD ! W+S4 ,:Y NOT ALWAYS !N ON W+S8 ,EVID5TLY1 ,I AM /ILL TOO WEAK2 /ILL UNTRA9$2 & P]HAPS A RE/ IS NECESS>Y4 

,IT IS 9T]E/+ TO F9D \T IF ?IS /ATE IS AN ATTRIBUTE ( OLD AGE1 IF Y\NG PEOPLE CAN EXP]I5CE IT ALSO8 ,I ?9K ?AT !Y CAN4 ,ONE MU/ ACCU/OM ONESELF TO ?IS4 ,?IS 9DE$ IS PRAY]4 

0,Y\ MU/ HIDE SOME?+1 BE AFRAID ( SOME?+1 SOME?+ TORTURES Y\1 SOME?+ IS LACK+10--& SUDD5LY3 !RE IS NO?+ TO HIDE1 NO?+ TO BE AFRAID (1 NO?+ TO BE TORTUR$ OV]1 NO?+ TO WANT4 ,! MA9 ?+ IS TO GO AWAY FROM ! HUMAN C\RT 9TO ,GOD'S C\RT4 

,OH1 IF ?IS W\LD ONLY HOLD \T UNTO DEA?6 ,BUT EV5 = ?AT :I* ,I HAVE EXP]I5C$1 ,I AM GRATEFUL TO ,!E1 ,FA!R4 

.<#b#i.> 

,I JOTT$ D[N ! FOLL[+3 

#a7 ,PEOPLE CAN 9 NO WAY AGREE TO ! UNREALITY ( ALL ?AT IS MAT]IAL4 0,BUT A TABLE EXI/S & ALWAYS1 EV5 :5 ,I GO \T ( ! ROOM IT IS !RE1 & = ALL IT IS ! SAME AS IT IS = ME10--!Y G5]ALLY SAY4 ,WELL1 & :5 Y\ TWI/ TWO F+]S & ROLL A LITTLE BALL UND] !M DO Y\ NOT UNQUE/IONABLY FEEL TWO8 ,IT IS C]TA9LY SO1 EV]Y TIME ,I TAKE UP A LITTLE BALL 9 ?AT WAY !RE >E TWO & = EV]Y ONE :O TAKES UP A BALL 9 ?AT WAY !RE >E TWO1 & NEV]!LESS !RE >E NO TWO LITTLE BALLS4 ,9 ! SAME WAY1 ! TABLE IS A TABLE ONLY = ! TWI/$ F+]S ( MY S5SES1 BUT IT IS P]HAPS HALF A TABLE1 A ?\S&? ( A TABLE--9 FACT1 NO P>T ( A TABLE AT ALL1 BUT SOME?+ ALTOGE!R DIFF]5T4 ,SO ?AT :AT IS REAL IS ONLY MY EV] RECURR+ IMPRESSION1 CONFIRM$ BY ! IMPRESSIONS ( O!R PEOPLE4 

#b7 444 ,I ACT$ BADLY :5 ,I GAVE MY E/ATE TO ! *ILDR54 ,IT W\LD HAVE BE5 BETT] = !M4 ,ONLY IT WAS NECESS>Y TO HAVE BE5 ABLE TO DO ?IS )\T VIOLAT+ LOVE1 & ,I WAS UNABLE4 

#c7 ,Y\ >E (T5 SURPRIS$ H[ 9TELLIG5T1 GOOD PEOPLE CAN DEF5D CRUELTY1 VIOL5CE1 SAVAGE SUP]/ITIONS4448 ,BUT IT IS SUFFICI5T TO REMEMB] ! EXIL+S1 ! OPPRESSIONS1 ! (F5SES1 :I* >E BEG9N+ TO P5ETRATE ! WORK+-CLASSES & Y\ SEE ?AT ?IS IS ONLY A FEEL+ (.<#b#a.> SELF-PRES]VATION4 ,ONLY BY ?IS IS EXPLA9$ ! T5ACITY ( LIFE4444 

#d7 ,PH>ESOV TOLD ME AB\T ,MALIKOV'S.<#b#i#e.> TEA*+4 ,ALL ?IS WAS BEAUTIFUL1 ALL ?IS WAS ,*RI/IAN3 BE P]FECT LIKE Y\R ,FA!R2 BUT IT WAS NOT GOOD ?AT ALL ?IS TEA*+ HAD = ITS 5D 9FLU5CE OV] PEOPLE & NOT 9N] SATISFACTION1 NOT AN ANSW] TO ! PROBLEM ( LIFE4 ,9FLU5CE ON O!RS IS ! MA9 ,A*ILLES' HEEL4 

,SO ?AT MY CONDITION1 :I* IS FALSE = PEOPLE1 IS P]HAPS ! V]Y ?+ NECESS>Y4 

#e7 444 ,9 ORD] TO WIPE \T ONE'S S91 ONE \<T TO 444 REP5T BE=E ALL ! PEOPLE = ! DECEPTION1 TO SAY3 =GIVE ME ?AT ,I HAVE DECEIV$ Y\ 444 ,:AT A /RONG SC5E6 ,& A TRUE ONE4 

#f7 ,\R >T ) ITS SUPPLY+ ( AMUSEM5T = ! RI* CLASSES1 IS NOT ONLY SIMIL> TO PRO/ITUTION1 BUT IT IS NO?+ ELSE ?AN PRO/ITUTION4 

,FEB4 #b4 ,MOSC[4 

,TO-DAY1 ,FEB4 #b#e4 ,MOSC[4 

,HAVE MADE NO 5TRIES2 CORRECT$ SOME?+4 ,WROTE LETT]S TO-DAY1 MORE ?AN #g LETT]S4 ,BUT ,I CAN'T WRITE ANY?+1 AL?\< ,I HAV5'T /OPP$ ?9K+ AB\T ,HAJJI ,MURAD & ,! ,APPEAL4 

,FEB4 #b#f4 ,MOSC[4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,HAVE MADE NO 5TRIES = MORE ?AN ?REE WEEKS4 ,TO-DAY ,M>* #a#i4  
,MOSC[4 

.<#b#a#a.> 

,F9I%$ ALL MY LETT]S4 ,DUR+ ?IS TIME WROTE S]I\S LETT]S3 

#a7 ,TO ! ,AM]ICAN COLONY1.<#b#i#f.> #b7 ,PET]BURGSKIA ,VI$OMO/I AB\T ! ,DUKHOBORS2.<#b#i#g.> #c7 TO ! ,5GLI% PAP]S ALSO AB\T ! ,DUKHOBORS1 & #d7 A PREFACE TO ! ,5GLI% $ITION ,:AT IS ,>T--AB\T ! C5SOR DI/ORTIONS4.<#b#i#h.> 

,MY 9N] LIFE IS ! SAME4 ,AS ,I =ESAW1 ! NEW CONSCI\SNESS ( LIFE = ,GOD1 = ! P]FECTION ( LOVE1 HAS BECOME DULL$1 WEAK5$1 & :5 ,I NE$$ IT1 !SE DAYS1 IT PROV$ ITSELF TO BE1 IF NOT EXACTLY 9EFFECTUAL1 YET LESS EFFECTUAL ?AN ,I EXPECT$4 

,! PR9CIPAL EV5T DUR+ ?IS TIME WAS ! P]MISSION TO ! ,DUKHOBORS TO EMIGRATE4 

,:AT IS ,>T8 SEEMS TO ME TO BE 5TIRELY F9I%$ N[4 

444 

,I HAVE WORK$ V]Y LITTLE DUR+ ALL ?IS TIME4 ,I MADE RA!R MANY NOTES2 ,I %ALL TRY TO WRITE !M \T3 

#a7 ,ONE ( ! GREATE/ ]RORS 9 SUMM+ UP A MAN1 IS ?AT WE CALL1 WE DEF9E A MAN AS 9TELLIG5T1 /UPID1 GOOD1 EVIL1 /RONG1 WEAK4 ,BUT MAN IS EV]Y?+1 ALL POSSIBILITIES1 IS A FL[+ MATT]4.<#b#i#i.> ,?IS IS A GOOD !ME = AN >TI/IC WORK & A V]Y IMPORTANT ONE & A GOOD ONE1 BECAUSE IT DE/ROYS MALICI\S JUDG+--0! CANC]0--& ASSUMES ! POSSIBILITY ( EV]Y?+.<#b#a#b.> GOOD4 ,! WORK]S ( ! DEVIL1 CONV9C$ ( ! PRES5CE ( BAD 9 MAN1 A*IEVE GREAT RESULTS3 SUP]/ITION1 CAPITAL PUNI%M5T1 W>4 ,! WORK]S ( ,GOD W\LD ATTA9 GREAT] RESULTS1 IF !Y BELIEV$ MORE 9 ! POSSIBILITY ( GOOD 9 PEOPLE4 

#b7 ,!Y WANT TO BECOME ! MA/]S ( ,*9A--! ,RUSSIANS1 ,JAPAN1 ,5GL&1 ! ,G]MANS3 !RE >E QU>RELS1 DIPLOMATIC /RUGGLES1 !RE WILL EV5 BE MILIT>Y ONES4 ,& ALL ?IS IS ONLY = ! MIX+ ( ! YELL[ RACE 9TO ONE ,*RI/IAN BATT]1 ! PROPAGAT+ & ! ASSIMILAT+ ( IDEAS LIKE ! ,CRUSADES & ! ,NAPOLEONIC W>S4 

#c7 ,LEBON WRITES3 0,NOT ONLY >E !Y GO+ TO MAKE FOOD 9 LABORATORIES1 BUT !RE WILL BE NO NE$ = LABOR40 ,PEOPLE HAVE SO BADLY DI/RIBUT$ !IR TWO FUNCTIONS1 FOOD & LABOR1 ?AT 9/EAD ( JOY1 !SE FUNCTIONS >E A TORTURE TO !M & !RE=E !Y WANT TO BE FRE$ FROM !M4 ,IT IS JU/ ! SAME AS IF PEOPLE W\LD SO P]V]T !IR FUNCTIONS ( P]SPIRATION & BREA?+1 ?AT !Y W\LD SEEK A WAY ( *ANG+ !M BY AN >TIFICIAL ME?OD4 

#d7 ,! LONG] Y\ LIVE1 ! LESS TIME !RE REMA9S = LIFE4 ,= AN 5DLESS DURATION ( LIFE1 !RE W\LD !N BE ABSOLUTELY NO LIFE4 

#e7 ,ONLY :5 Y\ LIVE )\T CONSID]ATION ( TIME1 PA/ OR FUTURE1 DO Y\ LIVE A REAL1 FREE LIFE = :I* !RE >E NO OB/ACLES4 ,Y\ >E ONLY !N DISSATISFI$1 9 /RAITS1 :5 Y\ REMEMB].<#b#a#c.> ! PA/ 7! (F5SES1 ! CONTRADICTIONS1 EV5 Y\R [N WEAKNESSES7 & :5 Y\ ?9K ( ! FUTURE3 WILL SOME?+ BE OR WILL IT NOT BE8 ,ONLY AT ONE PO9T1 DO Y\ FUZE ) ,GOD & LIVE Y\R DIV9E ESS5CE3 9 ! PRES5T 7EV5 :5 Y\ LIVE Y\R ANIMAL LIFE74 ,:5EV] Y\ USE Y\R REASON TO CONSID] :AT WILL BE1 !N Y\ >E WEAK1 9SIGNIFICANT2 BUT :5EV] Y\ USE IT TO DO ! WILL ( ,HIM :O S5T Y\1 !N Y\ >E OMNIPOT5T1 FREE4 ,Y\ CAN EV5 SEE ?IS 9 ! WAY Y\ IMM$IATELY WEAK51 BECOME DEPRIV$ ( /R5G?1 :5 Y\ CONSID] ! CONSEQU5CES ( Y\R ACT4 

,TO-DAY1 ,M>* #b#a4 ,MOSC[4 

,I CONT9UE COPY+4 ,I AM V]Y 9DISPOS$1 WEAK1 BUT ?ANK ,GOD1 9 PEACE1 ,I LIVE 9 ! PRES5T4 ,JU/ N[ ,I PUT 9 ORD] ! PAP]S ON ,>T4 

#f7 ,SOCIALI/S WILL NEV] DE/ROY POV]TY & ! 9JU/ICE ( ! 9EQUALITY ( CAPACITIES4 ,! /RONG]1 ! MORE 9TELLIG5T1 WILL ALWAYS MAKE USE ( ! WEAK]1 ! MORE /UPID4 ,JU/ICE & EQUALITY ( GOODS WILL NEV] BE ATTA9$ BY ANY?+ LESS ?AN ,*RI/IANITY1 I4E41 BY NEGAT+ ONESELF & BY RECOGNIZ+ ! MEAN+ ( ONE'S LIFE 9 ! S]VICE TO O!RS4 

#g7 ,I HAVE WRITT5 D[N ! SAME AS 9 ! #e?1 BUT DIFF]5TLY4 ,9 ORD] TO LIVE ) ,GOD1 BY ,GOD & 9 ,GOD1 IT IS NECESS>Y NOT TO BE GUID$.<#b#a#d.> BY ANY?+ FROM )\T4 ,NEI!R BY ?AT :I* WAS NOR BY ?AT :I* CAN BE2 TO LIVE ONLY 9 ! PRES5T1 ONLY 9 ?IS1 TO FUZE ) ,GOD4 

#h7 ,9TELLIG5T ,SOCIALI/S UND]/& ?AT = ! ATTA9M5T ( !IR 5DS ! PR9CIPAL ?+ IS TO LIFT ! WORK+ M5 9TELLECTUALLY & PHYSICALLY4 ,?IS IS POSSIBLE TO BE DONE ONLY BY RELIGI\S $UCATION1 BUT !Y DO NOT UND]/& ?IS & !RE=E ALL !IR WORK IS 9 VA94 

#i7 0,SEEK ! ,K+DOM ( ,GOD & ,HIS ,RI<T1 ! RE/ WILL FOLL[ Y\0--?IS IS ! ONLY MEANS ( ATTA9+ ! 5DS ( ,SOCIALISM4 

#a7 ,= ,! ,APPEAL3 

,ALL >E AGRE$ ?AT WE LIVE NOT AS WE \<T TO OR AS WE C\LD4 ,! REM$Y ( SOME IS ?IS3 A RELIGI\S FATALISM &1 /ILL WORSE1 A SCI5TIFIC1 EVOLUTION>Y ONE4 ,O!RS COM=T !MSELVES BY ! GRADUAL BETT]+ & BETT]+ ( ?+S BY !MSELVES3 ! /EP BY /EP PEOPLE4 ,! ?IRD ASS]T ?AT EV]Y?+ WILL E/ABLI% ITSELF :5 ?+S WILL REA* !IR V]Y WOR/ 7,SOCIALISM71 :5 ! ,GOV]NM5T & ! RI* CLASSES WILL CONTROL EV]YBODY FULLY1 I4E41 ! WORK+-M51 & !N ! P[] WILL SOMEH[ OR O!R MAKE A SOM]SAULT NOT ONLY TO WORK+-M51 BUT TO UN]R+ DIS9T]E/$ SELF-SACRIFIC+ WORK+-M51 :O WILL !N DIRECT ALL AFFAIRS )\T ]ROR & )\T S94 ,! F\R? SAY ?AT TO IMPROVE ! :OLE MATT]1 IT IS POSSIBLE ONLY BY ! DE/RUCTION ( EVIL PEOPLE1.<#b#a#e.> ! BAD ONES4 ,BUT !RE IS NO 9DICATION :]E ! BAD PEOPLE 5D & :]E ! H>MLESS ONES1 IF NOT ! GOOD ONES1 BEG94 ,EI!R !Y WILL DE/ROY EV]Y ONE AS BAD OR AS 9 ! BIG REVOLUTION !Y WILL CAT* ! GOOD ONES ) ! BAD4 ,AS SOON AS Y\ BEG9 TO JUDGE /RICTLY1 NO ONE WILL REMA9 9 ! RI<T4 ,:AT IS TO BE DONE8 ,BUT !RE IS ONLY ONE 9/RUM5T3 A RELIGI\S *ANGE 9 ! S\L ( PEOPLE4 ,& IT IS ?IS *ANGE :I* IS 9T]F]$ )1 BY ALL IMAG9>Y REM$IES4 

#a#a7 ,MY BODY IS NO?+ ELSE ?AN ?AT PIECE ( EV]Y?+ EXI/+ :I* ,I AM ABLE TO GOV]N4 

#a#b7 ,! :OLE WORLD IS ?AT :I* ,I S5SE4 ,BUT :AT AM ,I8 ,IT IS ?AT :I* ACTS4 

#a#c7 ,H[ GOOD IT W\LD BE TO WRITE A WORK ( >T1 9 :I* !RE W\LD BE CLE>LY EXPRESS$ ! FL[+ NATURE ( MAN3 ?AT HE1 ONE & ! SAME MAN1 IS N[ A VILLA91 N[ AN ANGEL1 N[ A WISE MAN1 N[ AN IDIOT1 N[ A /RONG MAN1 N[ ! MO/ IMPOT5T BE+4 

#a#d7 ,EV]Y MAN1 AS ALL PEOPLE1 BE+ IMP]FECT 9 EV]Y?+1 IS NEV]!LESS MORE P]FECT 9 SOME ONE ?+ ?AN 9 ANO!R4 ,& !SE P]FECTIONS1 HE PUTS OV] ANO!R HUMAN BE+ AS A DEM&1 & CONDEMNS HIM4 

#a#e7 ,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO S]VE1 NOT 0,GOD & MAMMON10 BUT 0MAMMON & ,GOD40 ,! S]VICE ( MAMMON--EV]Y K9D ( VANITY--IS A H9DRANCE TO ! S]VICE ( ,GOD4 ,PEACE1 SOLITUDE1.<#b#a#f.> EV5 BOR$OM1 IS A NECESS>Y CONDITION TO ! S]VICE ( ,GOD4 ,9 ,MOSC[ RELIGI\SLY !Y >E ! MO/ SAVAGE ( PEOPLE4 ,9 ,P>IS--!Y >E /ILL MORE SAVAGE4 

#a#f7 ,!RE IS A K9D ( ,5GLI% TOY CALL$ PEEP%[3 BEH9D A LITTLE GLASS1 N[ ONE ?+ IS %[N1 N[ ANO!R4 ,?IS IS ! WAY ONE \<T TO %[ MAN--,HAJJI ,MURAD3 A HUSB&1 A FANATIC1 ETC4 

#a#g7 ,NOT LONG AGO ,I EXP]I5C$ A FEEL+1 NOT EXACTLY A REASON+1 BUT A FEEL+--?AT EV]Y?+ ?AT IS MAT]IAL1 & ,I MYSELF ) MY [N BODY1 IS ONLY MY [N IMAG9ATION1 IS ! CREATION ( MY SPIRIT & ?AT ONLY MY S\L EXI/S4 ,IT WAS A V]Y JOY\S FEEL+4 

#a#h7 444 DOES ON ! O!R H& ! SAME ?+ ?AT A FALSE RELIGI\S $UCATION DOES2 IT ACCU/OMS PEOPLE TO D5Y !IR REASON4 

#a#i7 ,!RE >E TWO PO9TS ( VIEW ( ! WORLD3 #a7 ! WORLD IS SOME?+ DEF9ITELY EXI/+1 ?AT IS1 EXI/+ 9 DEF9ITE =MS1 & #b7 ! WORLD IS SOME?+ CONT9UALLY FL[+1 BE+ =M$1 GO+ T[>DS SOME?+4 ,9 ! FIR/ PO9T ( VIEW1 ! LIFE ( HUMANITY ALSO APPE>S AS SOME?+ DEF9ITE1 CONSI/+ 9 ! PEACEFUL USE ( ! GOODS ( ! WORLD4 ,9 ?IS PO9T ( VIEW--!RE IS A CONT9U\S DISSATISFACTION1 & DISCONT5T ) ! CON/RUCTION ( ! WORLD4 ,IT DOES NOT FULFILL ! DEM&S :I* >E PRES5T$4.<#b#a#g.> ,9 ! SECOND PO9T ( VIEW1 ! LIFE ( HUMANITY IS CONCEIV$ AS SOME?+ :I* 9 ITSELF *ANGES & HELPS TO ! *ANGE & ! ATTA9M5T ( ! 5DS ( ! WORLD4 ,& 9 ?IS PO9T ( VIEW !RE IS NO DISSATISFACTION OR DISCONT5TM5T ) ! CON/RUCTION ( ! WORLD4 ,& IF !RE IS DISCONT5T1 IT IS ONLY ) ONE'S SELF1 = ONE'S 9SUFFICI5T H>MONY TO ! MOVEM5T ( ! WORLD & 9 NOT HELP+ ?IS MOVEM5T4 7,UNCLE>47 

#b7 ,ADM9I/RATIVE AMBITION & GRE$ ( MIS]S >E !RE=E ALLUR+1 BECAUSE !Y >E V]Y SIMPLE4 ,= EV]Y O!R 5D ( LIFE ONE HAS TO REFLECT MU*1 TO ?9K1 & (T5 Y\ DO NOT SEE ! RESULTS CLE>LY4 ,& H]E IT IS SO SIMPLE3 :]E !RE WAS ONE DECORATION !RE WILL BE TWO3 :]E !RE WAS ONE MILLION !RE WILL BE TWO1 ETC4 

#b#a7 ,I SPOKE TO ,EVG5IE ,IVANOVI* & SAID TO HIM ?AT ,I 5VY HIS FRE$OM2 BUT HE SAID TO ME ?AT ?+S >E V]Y DIFFICULT = HIM JU/ ON ACC\NT ( ?IS FRE$OM & EV5 ON ACC\NT ( ! AU?ORITY & ! RESPONSIBILITY :I* IS CONNECT$ ) IT4 ,SO ?AT IT ONLY SEEMS TO ME1 ?AT SOME ONE IS BETT] (F & ?AT ANO!R IS WORSE1 AS ! /RONG MAN TO ! WEAK1 ! HEAL?Y TO ! SICK1 ! RI* TO ! POOR4 ,& IT BECAME SUDD5LY CLE> TO ME ?AT ALL ! DIFF]5CES 9 \R CONDITIONS 9 ! WORLD >E AS NO?+ COMP>$ ) \R 9N] CONDITIONS4 ,IT IS JU/ ! SAME1 AS.<#b#a#h.> IT W\LD BE A MATT] ( 9DIFF]5CE IF A MAN FELL FROM A BOAT 9TO ! ,AZOV ,SEA1 ! ,BLACK1 ! ,M$IT]RANEAN OR 9TO ! OCEAN1 9 COMP>ISON ) :E!R HE WAS ABLE TO SWIM OR NOT4 

#b#b7 ,I SPOKE ) ,P AB\T ! WOMAN QUE/ION4 ,!RE IS NO WOMAN QUE/ION4 ,!RE IS ! QUE/ION ( FRE$OM ( EQUALITY = ALL HUMAN BE+S4 ,! WOMAN QUE/ION IS ONLY QU>REL HUNT+4 

#b#c7 ,! MORE ONE IS GUILTY BE=E HIS [N CONSCI5CE1 ?\< HIDD51 ! MORE WILL+LY & 9VOLUNT>ILY HE SEEKS ! GUILT ( O!RS & ESPECIALLY ?OSE BE=E :OM HE HAD BE5 GUILTY4 

#b#d7 ,AS SOON AS Y\ GO AWAY 9TO ! PA/ OR ! FUTURE1 Y\ GO AWAY FROM ,GOD & !N Y\ IMM$IATELY BECOME LONELY1 DES]T$1 UNFREE4 

#b#e7 ,I BEGAN TO ?9K AB\T MYSELF1 AB\T MY [N HURTS & MY [N FUTURE LIFE--& ,I CAME TO MY S5SES4 ,& IT WAS SO NATURAL TO SAY TO MYSELF3 & Y\1 :AT BUS9ESS IS ,LEO ,NI*OLAIEVI* 7,TOL/OY7 ( Y\RS8 ,& ,I FELT BETT]4 ,?US !RE IS ! ONE :O IS H9D]$ BY ! BASE1 /UPID1 VA91 S5SUAL1 ,LEO ,NI*OLAIEVI*4 

#b#f7 ,AS SOON AS Y\ BEG9 TO ?9K ( ! FUTURE1 Y\ BEG9 TO GUESS4 ,IF ! PATI5CE COMES \T1 !N ?IS WILL HAPP54 ,BUT ?IS IS MADNESS6 ,& IT IS B\ND TO COME1 BECAUSE TO ?9K ( ! FUTURE IS ! BEG9N+ ( MADNESS4 

,I HAVE F9I%$ EV]Y?+4 ,IT IS N[ PA/ ONE1 ! #b#a/4 

.<#b#a#i.> 

,M>* #b#b4 ,MOSC[4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,APRIL #a#b4 ,MOSC[4 

,AMONG ! EV5TS DUR+ ?IS TIME WAS ! >RIVAL ( ! ,DUKHOBORS1.<#c.> ! C>ES = !IR EMIGRATION1 ! DEA? ( ,BRA%N94.<#c#a.> ,OCCUPATIONS3 ,C>?AGO DEL5DA E/.<#c#b.> & ,HAJJI ,MURAD4 ,WORK$ RA!R LITTLE4 ,! SPIRITUAL /ATE RA!R GOOD4 ,VISITORS--MO/ ( !M PEASANTS1 Y\NG1 GOOD ONES4 

,S9CE YE/]DAY HAVE BE5 9 A V]Y DEPRESS$ MOOD4 ,I AM NOT SURR5D]+1 ,I DO NOT DISCLOSE MYSELF TO ANY ONE1 BUT TO ,GOD4 ,I ?9K ?AT IS V]Y IMPORTANT4 ,IT IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP SIL5T & TO SUFF] A ?+ ?R\<4 ,O!RWISE ! SUFF]+ WILL GO OV] TO O!RS & WILL MAKE !M SUFF]1 BUT H]E IT WILL BURN ITSELF D[N 9 Y\RSELF4 ,?AT IS ! MO/ PRECI\S ( ALL4 

,?IS ?\<T HELPS V]Y MU*1 ?AT 9 ?IS LIES MY TASK1 9 ?IS IS MY OPPORTUNITY TO ELEVATE MYSELF1 TO APPROA* P]FECTION SOME:AT4 ,COME & DWELL )9 ME SO ?AT MY BAS5ESS WILL BE /IFL$4 ,AWAKE 9 ME4 

,I WANT TO CRY ALL ! TIME4 

,?\<T & NOT$3 

#a7 ,I F\ND JOTT$ D[N3 0,EV]Y VICTORY OV] ! 5EMY IS AN 5L>GEM5T ( ONE'S [N /R5G?40 ,I \<T TO REMEMB] ?AT N[ ESPECIALLY4 ,!RE IS A /RUGGLE GO+ ON BETWE5 MY.<#b#b.> SPIRITUAL & ANIMAL SELF1 & ALL ?AT ,I GA9 = ! =M]1 BY ALL ?IS WILL ,I WEAK5 ! LATT]4 ,I C>RY OV] FROM ONE SCALE ( ! WEI<TS TO ANO!R4 ,IF ,I FALL 9TO TEMPTATION1 IT MEANS A ROLL+ D[N ! ROAD TO EVIL2 IF ,I RESI/1 IT IS ! BEG9N+ ( A ROLL+ ON A NEW ROAD T[>DS ! GOOD4 

#b7 ,IT IS A/ONI%+ H[ WE GET ACCU/OM$ TO ! ILLUSION ( ONE'S [N 9DIVIDUALITY1 SEP>AT5ESS FROM ! WORLD4 ,WE SEE1 WE FEEL--?AT LIFE COMPELS US EV]Y M9UTE TO FEEL \R UNION & DEP5D5CE ON ! WORLD1 MAKES US FEEL \R 9COMPLET5ESS2 & WE NEV]!LESS BELIEVE ?AT WE \RSELVES1 \R V]Y SELVES1 IS SOME?+ 9 ! NAME ( :I* WE CAN LIVE4 ,H[EV]1 :5 Y\ UND]/& ?IS ILLUSION CLE>LY1 !N Y\ >E SURPRIS$1 H[ Y\ C\LD NOT HAVE SE5 ?AT Y\ >E NOT A PIECE ( A :OLE1 BUT A MANIFE/ATION 9 TIME & SPACE1 ( SOME?+ TIMELESS & 9F9ITE4 

,WOM5 HAVE ALWAYS RECOGNIZ$ ! P[] ( M5 OV] !M4 ,& IT C\LD NOT HAVE BE5 O!RWISE 9 AN UN*RI/IAN WORLD4 ,M5 >E ! /RONG] & M5 HAVE RUL$4 ,IT WAS ! SAME 9 ALL ! WORLDS 7) ! EXCEPTION ( ! D\BTFUL ,AMAZONS & ! LAW ( MAT]NITY71 & IT IS ! SAME N[ AMONG 4#i#i#i ( MANK9D4 ,BUT ,*RI/IANITY HAS APPE>$ & HAS RECOGNIZ$ P]FECTION NOT 9 /R5G? BUT 9 LOVE1 & BY ?IS ALL ! SUBJECT$1 ! CAPTIVE1 ! SLAVES & !.<#b#b#a.> WOM5 HAVE BE5 FRE$4 ,BUT ?AT ! FRE$OM ( SLAVES & WOM5 BE NOT A CALAMITY1 IT IS NECESS>Y ?AT ! FRE$ BE ,*RI/IANS1 I4E41 ?AT !Y AFFIRM !IR LIFE 9 ! S]VICE ( ,GOD & PEOPLE1 & NOT 9 ! S]VICE ( !MSELVES4 ,SLAVES & WOM5 >E NOT ,*RI/IANS1 & NEV]!LESS !Y >E FRE$4 ,& !Y >E T]RIBLE4 ,!Y ACT AS ! MA9-SPR+ ( ALL ! CALAMITIES ( ! WORLD4 

,:AT MU/ BE DONE8 ,BR+ SLAVES & WOM5 BACK AGA9 9TO SLAV]Y8 ,?AT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO1 BECAUSE !RE IS NO ONE :O WILL DO IT3 ,*RI/IANS CANNOT SUBJECT4 ,& NON-,*RI/IANS WILL NO LONG] SURR5D] !MSELVES 9TO SLAV]Y1 BUT WILL FI<T4 ,!Y WILL FI<T AMONG !MSELVES & ONE OR ! O!R WILL SUBJECT & HOLD ! ,*RI/IANS 9 SLAV]Y4 ,:AT MU/ BE DONE8 ,ONE ?+ MU/ BE DONE3 ATTRACT PEOPLE TO ,*RI/IANITY1 TURN !M 9TO ,*RI/IANS4 ,IT IS POSSIBLE TO DO ?IS ONLY BY FULFILL+ 9 LIFE ! LAW ( ,*RI/4 

,HELP ME1 ,LORD4 ,HELP ME4 ,COME 9TO ME1 AWAKE 9 ME4 

,APR4 #a#c4 ,MOSC[4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,TO-DAY ,APRIL #b#g4 ,GR9EVKA4.<#c#c.> 

,! #cRD DAY H]E4 ,I AM ALL RI<T4 ,A LITTLE 9DISPOS$4444 

,! LATT] DAYS 9 ,MOSC[ ,I SP5T F9I%+ ,C>?AGO DEL5DA E/4 ,I AM AFRAID ,I HAVE NOT.<#b#b#b.> F9I%$ IT1 & ?AT IT IS /ILL BE=E ME4 ,/ILL ,I DID QUITE A LOT4 ,H]E ,I HAVE NOT WORK$ AT ALL4 

,! MIS]Y ( ! FAM9E IS BY F> NOT AS GREAT AS IT WAS 9 #a#h#i#a4 ,!RE >E SO MANY LIES 9 ALL ! AFFAIRS AMONG ! UPP] CLASSES1 EV]Y?+ IS SO TANGL$ UP ) LIES ?AT IT IS NEV] POSSIBLE TO ANSW] ANY QUE/ION1 SIMPLY--= 9/ANCE1 IS !RE A FAM9E8 ,I AM GO+ TO TRY TO DI/RIBUTE AS WELL AS ,I CAN ! MONEY :I* HAS BE5 CONTRIBUT$4 

,YE/]DAY !RE WAS A CONV]SATION AB\T ! SAME ?+3 ,IS EXCLUSIVE LOVE GOOD8 ,! RESUME IS ?IS3 A MORAL MAN WILL LOOK ON EXCLUSIVE LOVE1--IT IS ALL ! SAME :E!R HE BE M>RI$ OR S+LE--AS ON EVIL & WILL FI<T IT2 ! MAN1 :O IS LITTLE MORAL1 WILL CONSID] IT GOOD & WILL 5C\RAGE IT4 ,AN 5TIRELY UNMORAL MAN DOES NOT EV5 UND]/& IT & MAKES FUN ( IT4 

,! ,RUSSKIA ,VI$OMO/I WAS SUSP5D$ BECAUSE ( ! ,DUKHOBORS & ( ME2 ?AT IS TOO BAD & ,I AM GRIEV$4.<#c#d.> 

#a7 ,! PROV]B3 = A GOOD SON Y\ DO NOT HAVE TO MAKE A =TUNE1 = A BAD ONE1 DO NOT LEAVE ONE4 

#b7 ,I HAVE MADE ! FOLL[+ NOTE3 0,GOD DOESN'T KN[ :5 ! AWAK5+ ( PEOPLE WILL TAKE PLACE40 ,?IS IS :AT IT MEANS3 ,I ?9K ?AT ! LIFE ( HUMANITY CONSI/S 9 A GREAT] &.<#b#b#c.> GREAT] AWAK5+1 9 AN 5LI<T5+4 ,& ?IS AWAK5+1 ?IS 5LI<T5+1 WILL BE DONE BY PEOPLE !MSELVES 7BY ,GOD 9 PEOPLE74 ,& 9 ?IS IS LIFE1 9 ?IS IS ! GOOD1 & !RE=E ?IS LIFE & ?IS GOOD CANNOT BE TAK5 AWAY FROM PEOPLE4 

#c7 ,MY AWAK5+ CONSI/$ 9 ?IS1 ?AT ,I D\BT$ ! REALITY ( ! MAT]IAL WORLD4 ,IT LO/ ALL MEAN+ TO ME4 

,TO-MORR[ ,APR4 #b#h4 ,GR9EVKA4 ,IF ,I LIVE1 ,I'LL F9I%4 

,TO-DAY ,APR4 #b#i4 ,MORN+4 ,GR9EVKA4 

,FELT GREAT WEAKNESS4 ,AM BETT] S9CE YE/]DAY4 ,BUT UNABLE TO WRITE ANY?+4 ,W5T TO ,LOPA%9O1.<#c#e.> TOOK NOTES4.<#c#f.> 

,READ ,BOCCACCIO--IT IS ! BEG9N+ ( ! MA/]-CLASS1 IMMORAL >T4 

,NO LETT]S4 ,S]EZHA WAS H]E4.<#c#g.> 

,I CONT9UE4 ,?\<T3 

#a7 ,Y\ LOOK DEEPLY 9TO ! LIFE ( MAN1 ESPECIALLY ( WOM51--& Y\ SEE FROM :AT WORLD PO9T ( VIEW !IR ACTS FL[1 & Y\ SEE1 PR9CIPALLY1 H[ 9EVITABLY ALL >GUM5T AGA9/ ?IS WORLD PO9T ( VIEW RECOILS & Y\ CANNOT IMAG9E H[ ?IS WORLD PO9T ( VIEW WILL BE *ANG$--9 ! SAME WAY AS H[ A PIECE ( A DATE-/ONE HAS GR[N ?R\< A DATE4 ,BUT !RE >E CONDITIONS :5 A *ANGE IS PRODUC$.<#b#b#d.> & ACCOMPLI%$ FROM )94 ,LIVE MAN CAN ALWAYS BE BORN1 FROM SE$S !RE >E SPR\TS4 

#b7 ,I LOOK 9TO ! FUTURE1 & ASK3 W]E ,I TO ACT AS ,I \<T TO1 W\LD EV]Y?+ !N BE ALL RI<T1 W\LD ALL OB/ACLES !N BE DE/ROY$8 ,?IS QUE/ION IS PLEONISM4 ,! QUE/ION IS ?IS1 :E!R1 W]E ,I TO ACT 9 A REALM :]E !RE W]E NO OB/ACLES1 W\LD !RE !N BE ANY OB/ACLES8 

#c7 ,IT IS REM>KABLE H[ WE >E )\T UND]/&+ & )\T GRATITUDE4 ,GOD >RANG$ \R LIFE SO1 ?AT HE =BADE US ALL FALSE PA?S1 ?AT EV]Y?+ DRIVES US FROM !SE FALSE1 H>MFUL PA?S1 IMPOV]I%+ US TO RU9ATION1 & MAK+ US SUFF]1 ONTO ! ONLY FREE1 ALWAYS JOY\S PA? ( LOVE--BUT WE NEV]!LESS DO NOT GO ON ?IS PA? & WE COMPLA9 ?AT WE SUFF] FROM ! ATTEMPTS ( GO+ ON ! FALSE1 RU9\S PA?S4 

#d7 ,ONE ( ! MO/ URG5T NE$S ( MAN1 EQUAL ) & EV5 MORE URG5T ?AN EAT+1 DR9K+1 SEX DESIRE1 & ! EXI/5CE ( :I* WE (T5 =GET1 IS ! NE$ TO MANIFE/ ONESELF1 TO KN[ ?AT IT IS ,I :O HAVE DONE A ?+4 ,V]Y MANY ACTS :I* >E O!RWISE 9EXPLICABLE1 >E EXPLA9$ BY ?IS NE$4 ,ONE \<T TO REMEMB] ?IS BO? 9 !IR BR++ UP1 & 9 DEAL+ ) M54 ,! MA9 ?+ IS ?AT ONE HAS TO TRY TO MAKE ?IS AN ACTIVITY & NOT A BOA/4 

#e7 ,:Y IS IT ?AT *ILDR5 & SIMPLE PEOPLE.<#b#b#e.> >E BY SU* AN AWFUL HEI<T HI<] ?AN ! MAJORITY ( PEOPLE8 ,BECAUSE !IR REASON IS NOT P]V]T$ BY ! DECEPTION ( FAI? OR BY TEMPTATIONS OR BY S9S4 ,NO?+ /&S ON !IR ROAD TO P]FECTION1 :ILE ADULTS HAVE S9 & TEMPTATION & DECEPTION ON !IRS4 ,! =M] HAVE ONLY TO WALK =W>D1 ! LATT] MU/ /RUGGLE4 

#f7 ,!Y SPOKE AB\T LOVE & FALL+ 9 LOVE1 & ,I MADE ! FOLL[+ CONCLUSION = MYSELF3 A MORAL MAN FI<TS FALL+ 9 LOVE & EXCLUSIVE LOVE1 AN UNMORAL MAN--CONDONES IT4 

#g7 ,*ILDR5 >E SELFI% )\T LIES4 ,ALL ( LIFE TEA*ES ! AIMLESSNESS1 ! RU9ATION ( SELFI%NESS4 ,& !RE=E OLD PEOPLE ATTA9 UNSELFI%NESS )\T LIES4 ,!SE >E TWO EXTREME LIMITS4 

#h7 ,I BEGAN TO CONSID] S\P-KIT*5S & ! PUR*ASE ( FL\R1 & MONEY1 & MY S\L BECAME SO UNCLEAN & SAD4 ,! REALM ( MONEY1 I4E41 EV]Y K9D ( USE ( MONEY1 IS A S94 ,I TOOK MONEY & UND]TOOK TO USE IT ONLY SO AS TO HAVE A REASON = GO+ AWAY FROM ,MOSC[ & ,I ACT$ BADLY4 

#i7 ,I ?\<T MU* AB\T ,! ,APPEAL1 YE/]DAY & TO-DAY4 ,IT BECAME RA!R CLE> H[ A BAD >RANGEM5T ( LIFE RESULTS 9 RELIGI\S DECEPTION4 ,IF SOME?+ IS UNCLE> 9 ONE'S M9D1 IF LIFE IS DISORD]LY & Y\ DON'T WANT ANY?+4444 7,SOMEH[ ,I HAV5'T SUCCE$$47 

.<#b#b#f.> 

#a7 ,9 MY SLEEP ,I ?\<T TO-DAY ?AT ! %ORTE/ EXPRESSION ( ! MEAN+ ( LIFE IS ?IS3 ! WORLD MOVES1 P]FECTS ITSELF2 ! TASK ( MAN IS TO TAKE P>T 9 ?IS MOVEM5T1 TO SUBMIT HIMSELF TO IT & TO HELP IT4 

,MY WEAKNESS /ILL CONT9UES4 ,I HAVE WRITT5 ?IS \T V]Y BADLY4 

,MAY #d4 ,GR9EVKA4 7,EV5+47 

,YE/]DAY !RE WAS A :OLE H\SE FULL ( GUE/S3 ,! ,TSURIKOVS1  
,MME4 ,IL9SKY1.<#c#h.> ,/AKHOVI*4 ,I HAVE DONE NO?+ DUR+ ! DAY4 ,9 ! MORN+ ,I WROTE A LETT] TO ,*]TKOV.<#c#i.> & TO ,S.<#c#a.> & TO /ILL SOME ONE ELSE4 ,! DAY BE=E YE/]DAY ,I WAS 9 ,SIDOROVO & AT ,S]EZHA'S4.<#c#a#a.> ,9 ! MORN+ ,I READ ,*]TKOV'S >TICLE4.<#c#a#b.> ,IT IS V]Y GOOD4 

,! #a/ ( ,MAY1 ,L9D5B]G.<#c#a#c.> WAS H]E & A TEA*].<#c#a#d.> & !Y W5T TO ,KAM5KA4 ,ON ! #c?1 ,I W5T TO ,GUB>EVKA4 

,:AT HURTS ME1 IS ?AT ,I SEEM TO HAVE LO/ 5TIRELY ! CAPACITY = WRIT+4 ,TO MY %AME ,I AM 9DIFF]5T4 ,LATT]LY 9 MY SLEEP1 ,I ?\<T KE5LY AB\T ! CONTRA/ BETWE5 ! CRU%$ PEOPLE & ! CRU%]S1 BUT DID NOT WRITE IT \T4 

,TO-DAY1 YES & 9 ! PREC$+ DAYS1 IT SEEM$ TO ME ?AT ,HAJJI ,MURAD BECAME CLE>1 BUT ,I C\LD NOT WRITE IT4 ,IT IS TRUE !Y 9T]F]$4 

,?\<T3 

.<#b#b#g.> 

#a7 ,JU/ AS AN A?LETE FOLL[S ! GR[? ( HIS MUSCLES1 SO Y\ \<T TO FOLL[ ! GR[? ( LOVE1 OR AT LEA/ ! DECREASE ( EVIL & LIES--& LIFE WILL BE FULL & JOY\S4 

#b7 ,YE/]DAY !RE WAS A DISCUSSION AB\T ! OLD QUE/ION3 :AT IS BETT]--TO TAKE P>T 9 EVIL1 TO 5DEAVOR TO DIM9I% IT 74447 OR TO KEEP AWAY FROM IT8 ,! ET]NAL OBJECTION IS3--0,!RE WILL BE AN>*Y0--YES1 BUT N[ IT IS WORSE ?AN AN>*Y3 9JU/ICE4--0,:AT1 !N1 IF TO BEG9 EV]Y?+ FROM ! BEG9N+2 ! /RONG WILL AGA9 (F5D ! WEAK40 ,YES1 EV]Y?+ FROM ! BEG9N+ AGA91 BUT ) ?IS DIFF]5CE1 ?AT :ILE N[ WE CONT9UE ! CRUELTY & 9JU/ICE :I* HAVE BE5 E/ABLI%$ 9 HEA!N B>B>IC TIMES1 WE N[ LIVE 9 ! LI<T ( ,*RI/IANITY & ! CRUELTY & 9JU/ICE WILL NOT BE ! SAME CRUELTY & 9JU/ICE4444 7,IT ISN'T QUITE ALL RI<T1 BUT IT WAS47 

#c7 ,I LOOK AB\T ME & ! L9ES :I* ,I SEE ,I =CE 9TO ?AT =M :I* LIVES 9 MY IMAG9ATION4 ,I SEE :ITE ON ! HORIZON & 9VOLUNT>ILY ,I GIVE ?IS :ITE ! =M ( A *UR*4 ,IS IT NOT 9 ?IS WAY ?AT EV]Y?+ WE SEE 9 ?IS WORLD TAKES ON ! =M :I* ALREADY LIVES 9 \R IMAG9ATION 7CONSCI\SNESS71 :I* WE C>RI$ OV] FROM \R =M] LIFE8 7,AN IDEA47 

,EXQUISITE WEA!R4 ,FRI5DLY1 HOT ,SPR+4 ,I AM AT PEACE & AM WELL4 

.<#b#b#h.> 

,MAY #e4 ,GR9EVKA4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,TO-DAY ,MAY #i4 ,GR9EVKA4 

,DUR+ !SE DAYS WE HAD VISITORS3 ,MA%A1 ,V>IA4 ,I GO EV]Y DAY SOME:]E TO OP5 A S\P-KIT*54 ,I AM NOT WRIT+ AT ALL4 ,I FEEL WEAK4 ,YE/]DAY !RE WAS A RA9 /ORM4 ,I W5T TO ,BOBRIKA4 ,TO-DAY ,I W5T TO ,NI*OLSKOE4 ,I W5T TO ,GUB>EVKA & RETURN+ ?R\< ! WOOD1 ?\<T4444 ,I DON'T FEEL LIKE WRIT+1 LAT] ,I %ALL WRITE \T TWO ?\<TS1 V]Y IMPORTANT ONES3 

#a7 ,ONE1 ?AT ,I CANNOT PUT BE=E ME1 ?AT :I* TORTUR$ ME BE=E3 MY DE/RUCTION4 

#b7 ,?AT ! O!R LIFE BEG9S TO ATTRACT ME1 ONLY ! PROCESS ( GETT+ !RE IS T]RIBLE4 ,IF ONLY ,I C\LD >RIVE SAFELY1 EV]Y?+ !RE WILL BE ALL RI<T2 

#c7 ,TO-DAY ,I ?\<T ?AT ! OBJECT ( FAI? IS ONLY ONE--,GOD4 ,?IS ,I MU/ WRITE \T1 EXPLA94 

,TO-DAY ,I AM 9 A V]Y WEAK /ATE4 

,MAY #a4 ,GR9EVKA4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,TO-DAY ,MAY #a#a4 ,GR9EVKA4 

,YE/]DAY ,I WROTE A LITTLE ON ,! ,APPEAL4.<#c#a#e.> ,!N ,I W5T TO ,MIKHAIL'S ,=D4 

,SAW ,/RAKHOV 9 MY SLEEP1.<#c#a#f.> :O SAID TO ME.<#b#b#i.> ?AT ,I %\LD WRITE \T CLE>LY1 = ! PLA9 MAN1 :AT ,GOD IS4 0,Y\ \<T TO WRITE IT1 ,LEO ,NI*OLAIEVI*10 7,TOL/OY47 

,TO-DAY MY /OMA* A*$ A LITTLE4 ,I DIDN'T D9E & WROTE MU* ON  
,! ,APPEAL4 ,IT SEEMS TO BE TAK+ =M4 ,I AM FEEL+ FRE% 9 ! HEAD1 A ?+ ,I HAV5'T FELT = A LONG TIME4 ,?ANKS TO MY GYMNA/IC EX]CISES1 ,I HAVE BECOME CONV9C$ = ! FIR/ TIME1 ?AT ,I AM OLD & WEAK & ,I MU/ /OP PHYSICAL EX]CISE 5TIRELY4 ,?IS IS EV5 PLEASANT4 

,I =GOT = A MOM5T1 MY RULE1 NOT TO EXPECT ANY?+ FROM O!RS1 BUT TO DO :AT ONE \<T TO DO ONESELF BE=E ,GOD1--& !RE >OSE 9 ME AN EVIL FEEL+4444 ,BUT ,I REMEMB]$1 ASK$ 9 GOOD FAI? :AT WAS NECESS>Y & ,I FELT BETT]4 

#a7 ,!RE IS ONE OBJECT ( FAI?--,GOD1 ,HE :O S5T ME4 ,HE :O S5T ME1 ,HE :O IS EV]Y?+ ( :I* ,I FEEL MYSELF TO BE A P>T4 ,?IS FAI? IS 9DISP5SABLE & SATISFY+4 ,IF Y\ HAVE ?IS FAI? !N !RE IS NO ROOM = ANY O!R4 ,EV]Y?+ ELSE IS TRU/ & NOT FAI?4 ,Y\ CAN ONLY HAVE FAI? 9 ?AT :I* UND\BT$LY IS1 BUT :I* WE CANNOT EMBRACE ) \R REASON4 

#b7 ,YE/]DAY ,I ?\<T ?AT ! =M ( ?9K+--CATEGORIES-->E NOT SEV5 BUT F\R3 CAUSE1 MATT]1 SPACE1 TIME4 ,BUT ONLY ONE3 MOVEM5T1 5CLOSES EV]Y?+ 9 ITSELF4 ,MOVEM5T IS A.<#b#c.> *ANGE ( PLACE1 !RE=E !RE IS SPACE2 *ANGE ( PLACE CAN BE SWIFT] & SL[]1 !RE=E !RE IS TIME2 & A PREC$+ MOVEM5T IS A CAUSE1 A FOLL[+ ONE1 AN EFFECT2 ?AT :I* IS DISPLAC$ IS MATT]4 ,EV]Y?+ IS MOVEM5T4 ,MAN HIMSELF MOVES 9CESSANTLY & !RE=E EV]Y?+ EXPLA9S ITSELF TO HIM BY MOVEM5T ALONE4 

#c7 ,! MO/ H>MFUL EFFECT ( AN EVIL ACT IS ?AT :5 A MAN ACCOMPLI%ES IT HE FREES HIMSELF FROM ! DEM&S ( HIS CONSCI5CE4 0,WE EAT ANIMALS1 !RE=E :Y NOT HUNT80--444 & SO Y\ HAVE NO NE$ TO /& ON C]EMONY 444 ETC4 

#d7 ,A /RANGE ?\<T CAME TO ME4 ,\R :OLE LIFE IS 9 ?IS1 ?AT WE CONSID] \RSELVES A SEP>ATE UNIT1 AN 9DIVIDUAL1 A MAN4 ,BUT BESIDES ?IS BE+ SPECIALIZ$1 9DIVIDUALIZ$1 FROM ALL O!RS1 *EMI/RY DISCLOSES = US 5TIRELY DIFF]5T SEP>ATE UNITS1 ACIDS1 NITROG51 ETC4 ,!Y >E SEP>ATE & !RE=E !Y HAVE LIFE4 7,NONS5SE47 

,MAY #a#b4 ,GR9EVKA4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,TO-DAY ,MAY #a#e4 ,MORN+4 ,GR9EVKA4 

,)9 !SE TWO DAYS ,I W5T TO ,MTS5SK1.<#c#a#g.> ,KUKUEVKA1 & YE/]DAY TO ,BATYEVO4.<#c#a#h.> ,WROTE ,HAJJI ,MURAD UNWILL+LY4 ,I HAVE EX]CIS$ AGA94.<#c#a#i.> ,IT IS /UPID1 ALMO/ AN 9SANITY4 ,WROTE A POOR LETT] TO ,PO%A4 ,I AM PLEAS$ ) EV]Y ONE H]E4 

.<#b#c#a.> 

,JU/ N[ ,I HAVE R]EAD ?IS J\RNAL & IT DID NOT LEAVE ME V]Y DISSATISFI$4 ,OH1 IF ,I W\LD ONLY REMEMB] MORE MY TRANSITORY1 SUBS]VI5T CONDITION H]E6 

,HAVE MADE NO 5TRIES4 ,MY HEAL? W\LD BE GOOD IF MY BACK W]5'T A*+4 ,BEGAN TO WRITE LETT]S4 ,NOT SUCCE$+4 ,ONE MU/ WAIT PEACEFULLY & LIVE BE=E ,GOD4 

,MAY #a#f4 ,GR9EVKA4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,TO-DAY ,MAY #a#i4 ,GR9EVKA4 

,SONYA WAS H]E4 ,%E >RIV$ ! #a#g?4 ,?IS MORN+ %E W5T AWAY4 ,I HAVE BE5 TRY+ TO WRITE !SE TWO DAYS4 ,CAN'T DO ANY?+4 ,AN EXCEPTIONAL WEAKNESS & PA9 9 MY SP9AL COLUMN4 

,TO-DAY ,MAY #b4 ,EV5+4 ,GR9EVKA4 

,?IS MORN+ ,I WROTE RA!R MU* ON ,! ,APPEAL4 ,9 ! EV5+ ,I WROTE #ac LETT]S4 ,W5T NO:]E4 ,MY BACK IS BETT]4 ,! MA9 ?+1 IS ?AT MY BRA9 IS WORK+ & ,I AM HAPPY4 

,RECEIV$ #e RUBLES1 & #a1 RUBLES >E LY+ 9 ,*]NI4.<#c#b.> 

,I AM NOT GO+ TO WRITE ANY MORE1 AL?\< ,I HAVE MANY NOTES4 

,TO-DAY ,MAY #b#g4 ,GR9EVKA4 ,9 ! MORN+4 

,DUR+ ?IS TIME ,I WROTE ,! ,APPEAL &.<#b#c#b.> F9I%$ ! >TICLE ON ! CONDITION ( ! PEOPLE4.<#c#b#a.> 

,JU/ N[ ,I AM WRIT+ TO WRITE \T MY NOTES--!RE IS MU* ?AT HAS TO BE WRITT5 \T--?AT EV]Y?+ :I* IS SAID 9 ,PAUL 7,COR9?IANS XIII7 AB\T LOVE HAS TO BE SAID1 & EV5 MORE--AB\T ! R5UNCIATION ( ONESELF4 ,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LAY UP LOVE )9 ONESELF--BUT ! R5UNCIATION ( ONESELF IS POSSIBLE4 ,IT SUFFICES TO R5\NCE ONESELF & LOVE WILL >ISE4 

,I ?\<T ?IS1 BECAUSE JU/ N[ 9 ! MORN+1 ,I BEGAN TO REMEMB] ALL ! DIFFICULTIES :I* MI<T >ISE FROM ! DI/RIBUTION ( ! CONTRIBUTIONS1 AB\T EV]Y?+ :I* HAD TO BE DONE = ! ,DUKHOBORS1 = MY [N WRIT+1 & ( :I* ,I HAD DONE NO?+1 & AB\T ALL MY WEAKNESSES1 ]RORS1 AB\T MY JOYLESS LIFE ) ! *ILDR51 & SU* AS ,I HAD NOT WANT$ IT TO BE1 & MY LACK ( CONSEQU5CE--& IT SUFFIC$ ONLY TO NEGATE MYSELF1 MY [N DESIRES1 & IMM$IATELY ALL WRONG PASS$ AWAY1 BO? ( ! PA/ & ! FUTURE1 & ONE ?+ REMA9$1 ! NE$ ( S]VICE 9 ! PRES5T4 ,H[ TIME VANI%ES REM>KABLY 9 ! CONSCI\SNESS ( ONE'S MISSION4 

,TO-DAY1 ,I ?9K1 ,JUNE #a#b4 ,YASNAYA ,POLYANA4 

,I W5T ) ,SONYA 7MY DAU<T]-9-LAW7.<#c#b#b.> TO ! ,TSURIKOVS1 ,APHREMOVS1 & ! ,LEVITSKYS4.<#c#b#c.> ,I HAVE A V]Y PLEASANT IMPRESSION & FELL 9 LOVE.<#b#c#c.> ) MANY2 BUT FELL ILL & DID NOT DO MY WORK & MADE A LOT ( FUSS BO? = ,LEVITSKY & ! H\SEHOLD4.<#c#b#d.>444 

,IT IS F\R DAYS S9CE ,I >RIV$ 9 ,YASNAYA & ,I AM RECOV]+ NICELY4 ,WROTE MANY LETT]S4 

,I RECEIV$ ALMO/ #d1 RUBLES1 :I* ,I CANNOT USE ?IS YE>4.<#c#b#e.> 

,MA%A IS H]E ) H] HUSB& & ,ILIU%A4 ,! ,WE/]LUNDS W]E H]E4.<#c#b#f.>444 

,TO-DAY1 5TIRELY UNEXPECT$LY1 ,I BEGAN TO F9I% ,S]GIUS4.<#c#b#g.> ,NO NEWS FROM ,5GL&4.<#c#b#h.> 

,I HAVE MADE MANY NOTES4 

#a7 ,I CANNOT REMEMB] N[ :AT & H[ ,I ?\<T IT3 ?IS IS ! NOTE3 0,Y\ >E (T5 TOO /RICT ) PEOPLE1 & HE1 POOR MAN1 IS GOOD = NO?+40 

#b7 ,AL?\< ,I NOT$ IT BE=E1 ,I CAN'T HELP BUT REPEAT3 444 

#c7 444 

#d7 ,! LIFE ( ! WORLD IS ONE1 I4E41 9 ! S5SE ?AT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO APPLY ! CONCEPTION ( NUMB] TO IT4 ,PLURALITY COMES ONLY FROM ! P>TITIONS ( CONSCI\SNESS4 ,= A UNIV]SAL CONSCI\SNESS !RE IS NO NUMB]1 NO PLURALITY4 

#e7 ,NONRESI/ANCE TO EVIL IS IMPORTANT NOT !RE=E ONLY1 BECAUSE A MAN HAS TO ACT SO = HIMSELF1 = ATTA9+ ! P]FECTION ( LOVE1 BUT ALSO BECAUSE ONLY NONRESI/ANCE ALONE /OPS EVIL1 LOCALIZES IT 9 ITSELF1 NEUTRALIZES IT1 DOES NOT P]MIT IT.<#b#c#d.> TO GO F>!R1 AS IT 9EVITABLY DOES1 LIKE ! TRANSMISSION ( MOVEM5T TO ELA/IC BALLS1 IF !RE BE NO =CE :I* W\LD ABSORB IT4 ,ACTIVE ,*RI/IANITY IS NOT 9 DO+1 CREAT+ ,*RI/IANITY1 BUT 9 ABSORB+ EVIL4 

,I FEEL V]Y MU* LIKE WRIT+ \T ! /ORY1 ,! ,C\PON4.<#c#b#i.> 

#f7 ,DEA? IS ! CROSS+-OV] FROM ONE CONSCI\SNESS TO ANO!R1 FROM ONE IMAGE ( ! WORLD TO ANO!R4 ,IT IS AS IF Y\ GO OV] FROM ONE SC5E ) ITS SC5]Y TO ANO!R4 ,AT ! MOM5T ( CROSS+ OV]1 IT IS EVID5T ?AT ?AT :AT WE CONSID] REAL1 IS ONLY AN IMAGE1 BECAUSE WE >E GO+ OV] FROM ONE IMAGE 9TO ANO!R4 ,AT ! MOM5T ( ?IS CROSS+-OV]1 !RE BECOMES EVID5T1 OR AT LEA/ ONE FEELS1 ! MO/ ACTUAL REALITY4 ,BECAUSE ( ?IS1 ! MOM5T ( DEA? IS IMPORTANT & DE>4 

#g7 ,= A UNIV]SAL CONSCI\SNESS1 = ,GOD1 MATT] DOES NOT EXI/4 ,MATT] IS ONLY = BE+S1 SEP>AT$ ONE FROM ANO!R4 ,! LIMITS ( SEP>AT5ESS IS ?AT :I* WE CALL MATT]1 9 ALL ITS 9F9ITE =MS4 

#h7 ,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO REMEMB] SUFFICI5TLY ?AT ! LIFE ( ALL BE+S IS CONT9U\S MOVEM5T4 ,ALMO/ ALL \R MIS]Y COMES FROM ! FACT ?AT WE DO NOT KN[ ?IS OR =GET ?IS4 ,& IMAG9+ ?AT WE DO NOT GO =W>D1 BUT ?AT WE /& /ILL1 WE GRASP ! BE+S MOV+ ALONGSIDE ( US--.<#b#c#e.>SOME GO+ FA/]1 SOME GO+ SL[] ?AN WE--WE GRASP !M & HOLD ON AS LONG AS ! =CE ( ! MOVEM5T DOES NOT TE> US AWAY4 ,& WE SUFF]4 

#i7 ,WE >E ALL ROLL+ D[N A SLOPE1 GO+ D[N L[] & L[] TO ! PLA94 ,EV]Y ATTEMPT TO HOLD TO ONE'S PLACE1 ONLY MAKES ! FALL BIGG]1 ! MORE Y\ HOLD ON4 

#a7 ,WE >E S5T TO CROSS ?IS SLOP+ PA?1 C>RY+ ACROSS IT ?AT LI<T :I* IS 5TRU/$ TO US4 ,& ALL ?AT WE CAN DO--IS TO HELP EA* O!R ON ! ROAD TO C>RY ?IS LI<T2 BUT WE HOLD BACK1 PU%+ EA* O!R D[N1 EXT+UI%+ \R LI<T & ?AT ( ! O!RS4 7,IT ISN'T GOOD1 NOT :AT ,I WANT$ TO SAY47 

#a#a7 ,I KN[1 ?AT :5 PEOPLE YAWN 9 FRONT ( ME1 ,I CAN BECOME 9FECT$1 & !RE=E ,I SAY TO MYSELF3 ,I DON'T WANT TO YAWN & ,I WON'T4 ,I HAVE LE>N$ TO DO ?IS AS TO YAWN+1 BUT ,I AM ONLY BEG9N+ TO LE>N ?IS AS TO ANG]4 

#a#b7 ,! SI<T DEPRESSES ME /RANGELY 444 ( ?OSE [N+ ! L& & COMPELL+ ! PEOPLE TO WORK4 ,H[ MY CONSCI5CE IS /RUCK4 ,& ?IS IS NOT SOME?+ REASON$1 BUT A V]Y /RONG FEEL+4 ,WAS ,I WRONG 9 NOT GIV+ MY L& TO ! PEASANTS8 ,I DON'T KN[4 

#a#c7 ,LIESKOV MADE USE ( MY !ME & BADLY4.<#c#c.> ,I HAD AN EXQUISITE ?\<T--?REE PROBLEMS3 ,:AT WAS ! MO/ IMPORTANT TIME8.<#b#c#f.> :AT MAN8 & :AT ACT8 ,! TIME IS ! IMM$IATE1 ?IS M9UTE2 ! MAN--HE ) :OM Y\ HAVE IMM$IATE BUS9ESS2 ! ACT1 TO SAVE Y\R S\L1 I4E41 TO DO ! ACT ( LOVE4.<#c#c#a.> 

#a#d7 ,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SAVE HUMANITY FROM ?AT DECEPTION 9 :I* IT IS CAU<T4444 ,ONLY A RELIGI\S FEEL+ CAN GIVE ! C\NT]/ROKE & CONQU]4 

,JUNE #a#c4 ,Y4 ,P4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,JUNE #a#d4 ,Y4 ,P4 ,EV5+4 

,BO? DAYS ,I WROTE ,FA!R ,S]GIUS4 ,IT IS COM+ \T WELL4 ,WROTE LETT]S4 ,TO-DAY !RE WAS A *RI/5+4.<#c#c#b.> 

,I /ILL CANNOT BE FULLY GOOD4444 ,IT IS DIFFICULT1 BUT ,I DO NOT DESPAIR4 

,TO-DAY ,JUNE #b#b4 ,Y4 ,P4 

,ON ! #a#f? ,I FELL V]Y ILL4.<#c#c#c.> ,I NEV] HAD FELT SO WEAK & SO NE> DEA?4 ,I AM A%AM$ TO HAVE MADE USE ( ! C>E :I* !Y GAVE ME4 ,I C\LD DO NO?+4 ,I ONLY READ & MADE SOME NOTES4 ,TO-DAY ,I AM A GREAT DEAL BETT]4 ,UKHTOMSKY.<#c#c#d.> WAS PLEAS$ ) MY >TICLE1.<#c#c#e.> BUT NEV]!LESS HE REFUS$ TO PR9T IT4 ,I TELEGRAPH$ TO ,M5%IKOV ?AT HE %\LD TRY ! ,VIE/NIK ,EVROPA & ! ,RUSSKI ,TRUD4.<#c#c#f.> ,I AM AFRAID ,I AM GO+ TO BECOME TIRESOME4 

.<#b#c#g.> 

,! Y\? HAVE BE5 DRIV5 AWAY4 ,= !Y HAVE =BIDD5 ?AT ! FL\R ?AT WAS B\<T BE SOLD4.<#c#c#g.> 

444 ,RECEIV$ A LETT] FROM ,*]TKOV1 A GOOD ONE4 ,! ,DIET]I*S >RIV$4.<#c#c#h.> ,DE> ,DUNAEV WAS H]E4 ,!Y TALK$ AB\T ! GREAT RIOT ( ! FACTORY WORK]S4 ,I %ALL F9I% LAT]4 

,TO-DAY ,JUNE #b#h4 ,Y4 ,P4 ,EV5+4 

,I AM ONLY N[ RECOV]$1 & AM EXP]I5C+ ! JOY (  
CONVALESC5CE4 ,I FEEL NATURE V]Y VIVIDLY1 KE5LY1 & HAVE A GREAT CL>ITY ( ?\<T4 

,I WROTE A LITTLE ON ,! ,APPEAL4 ,TO-DAY ,I WROTE ,FA!R ,S]GIUS & BO? >E GOOD4 ,WROTE MANY LETT]S YE/]DAY4 ,ALL ?AT ,I RECEIV$ YE/]DAY W]E UNPLEASANT3 FROM ,N1 BUT PR9CIPALLY FROM ,GALI1 ) ! NEWS ?AT !Y HAVE ALL QU>REL$4.<#c#c#i.> ,PO%A IS GO+ TO ,SWITZ]L& & ,B\LANG] TO ,BULG>IA4 

,TANIA W5T TO ,MA%A'S4444 

,!RE IS ONLY ONE ?+2 ONE REAL ?+ ?AT HAS BE5 GIV5 US3 TO LIVE LOV+LY ) ONE'S BRO!RS1 ) EV]Y ONE4 ,ONE MU/ R5\NCE ONESELF4 ,I WROTE ?AT TO MY FRI5DS & ,I AM GO+ TO BE /RICT ) MYSELF4 

,H]E IS :AT ,I HAVE WRITT5 D[N4444 

,I HAVE JU/ READ UP TO ?IS PO9T1 :]E EV]Y?+ ?AT IS DIFFICULT CAN BE MADE TO VANI% :5 Y\ ?R[ (F ! ILLUSION ( A P]SONAL LIFE1 :5.<#b#c#h.> Y\ RECOGNIZE Y\R MISSION 9 ! S]VICE TO ,GOD1 & ?AT IT W\LD BE GOOD TO EXP]I5CE ?IS 9 PHYSICAL SUFF]+1 :E!R IT WILL /& PHYSICAL SUFF]+4 ,& H]E WAS A *ANCE TO EXP]I5CE IT & ,I =GOT & DID NOT EXP]I5CE IT4 ,IT IS TOO BAD4 ,BUT ! NEXT TIME4 

,HAVE WRITT5 D[N3 

#a7 ,PAUL ,ADAM.<#c#d.> GIVES ! PEASANTS A CRUEL *>ACT]I/IC1 ESPECIALLY ! WORK+ M53 !Y >E VULG>1 SELFI%1 SLAVES1 FANATICS--P]HAPS ALL ?IS IS JU/1 BUT ! ONE ?+1 ?AT !Y CAN LIVE )\T US & WE CANNOT LIVE )\T !M1 WIPES \T EV]Y?+4 ,& !RE=E IT IS NOT = US TO JUDGE4 7,SOME?+ IS WRONG H]E47 

#b7 ,IT IS ESPECIALLY DISAGREEABLE = ME :5 PEOPLE :O HAVE LIV$ LITTLE & ?\<T LITTLE1 DO NOT BELIEVE ME1 & NOT UND]/&+ ME1 >GUE ) ME AB\T MORAL PROBLEMS4 ,IT W\LD BE ! SAME = :I* A VET]9>Y SURGEON W\LD BE HURT1 IF PEOPLE :O W]E NOT FAMILI> ) HIS >T W]E TO >GUE ) HIM4 ,! DIFF]5CE IS ONLY 9 ?IS1 ?AT ! >T ( ! VET]9>Y1 ! COOK1 ! SAMOV>-MAK] OR ANY K9D ( >T OR SCI5CE1 IS RECOGNIZ$ AS AN >T OR A SCI5CE :]E ONLY ?OSE PEOPLE >E COMPET5T :O HAVE /UDI$ ?AT REALM2 9 ! MATT] ( MORALITY EV]Y ONE CONSID]S HIMSELF COMPET5T1 BECAUSE EV]Y ONE HAS TO JU/IFY HIS LIFE4 ,BUT LIFE IS JU/IFI$ ONLY BY !ORIES ( MORALITY4 ,& EV]Y ONE MAKES !M = HIMSELF4 

.<#b#c#i.> 

#c7 ,I HAVE (T5 ?\<T AB\T FALL+ 9 LOVE1 AB\T ! GOOD1 IDEAL FALL+ 9 LOVE1 :I* IS EXCLUSIVE ( EV]Y S5SUALITY1 & ,I CANNOT F9D EI!R PLACE OR MEAN+ = IT4 ,BUT ITS PLACE & MEAN+ IS V]Y CLE> & DEF9ITE3 IT IS TO LI<T5 ! /RUGGLE BETWE5 SEX DESIRE & *A/ITY4 ,FALL+ 9 LOVE \<T TO BE = A Y\NG MAN :O CANNOT KEEP TO FULL *A/ITY BE=E M>RIAGE1 & TO RELEASE ! Y\NG M5 9 ! MO/ CRITICAL YE>S1 FROM #af TO #b OR MORE1 FROM ! TORTUR+ /RUGGLE4 ,H]E IS ! PLACE = FALL+ 9 LOVE4 ,BUT :5 IT BREAKS \T 9 ! LIFE ( PEOPLE AFT] M>RIAGE1 IT IS \T ( PLACE & DISGU/+4 

#d7 ,I AM (T5 ASK$ = ADVICE AS TO ! PROBLEM ( [N+ L&4 ,IT IS MY OLD CU/OM TO ANSW]3 ?AT IT IS UNSUITABLE = ME TO ANSW] SU* PROBLEMS1 JU/ AS IT W\LD BE UNSUITABLE = ME TO ANSW] ! PROBLEM H[ TO MAKE USE ( ! [N]%IP OR ! LABOR OR ! R5T ( A BOND$ S]F4 

#e7 ,PEOPLE :O /& ON A L[] MORAL PLANE OR RELIGI\S WORLD PO9T ( VIEW CANNOT UND]/& PEOPLE /&+ ON A HI<] PLANE4 ,BUT ?AT !RE %\LD BE A POSSIBILITY ( UNION BETWE5 !M1 !RE HAS BE5 GIV5 TO PEOPLE /&+ ON A L[] PLANE ! 9/9CT = ! GOOD & A RESPECT = ?IS GOOD4 ,IF !RE IS NOT ?IS 9/9CT & RESPECT1 !N IT IS V]Y BAD4 ,BUT 9 \R SOCIETY1 AMONG SO-CALL$ $UCAT$ PEOPLE1 ?IS IS GETT+ TO BE LESS & LESS4 

.<#b#d.> 

,TO-DAY ,JUNE #c4 ,Y4 ,P4 

,I AM /ILL ILL1 & V]Y WEAK4 ,BUT ,I ?9K ,I AM IMPROV+1 & MY SPIRITUAL /ATE IS GOOD4 ,! DAY BE=E YE/]DAY ,I RECEIV$ A LETT] AB\T ! QU>REL 9 ,5GL&4.<#c#d#a.> ,I WROTE TO !M4 ,IT IS V]Y SAD & V]Y 9/RUCTIVE4 ,YE/]DAY ,I RECEIV$ A LETT] FROM ,KHILKOV ) A LETT] FROM ,MISS ,PICK>D AB\T ! ,DUKHOBORS4.<#c#d#b.> ,I WROTE LETT]S TO ,CROSBY1 & ,WILL>D.<#c#d#c.> & ,KHILKOV4 ,! AFFAIR ( ! ,DUKHOBORS IS IMPORTANT & BIG & EVID5TLY SOME?+ WILL COME \T ( IT :I* IS 5TIRELY DIFF]5T FROM :AT WE >E PREP>+1 BUT IT IS ,GOD'S AFFAIR4 ,TO-DAY ,MME4 ,ANN5KOV >RIV$4 ,M5%IKOV TELEGRAPH$ ?AT ,GAIDEBUROV.<#c#d#d.> WILL PR9T ) OMISSIONS4 ,DUR+ !SE DAYS ,I WROTE ,S]GIUS--IT ISN'T GOOD4 

,I AM GO+ TO CONT9UE TO WRITE \T ! =M]3 

#f7 444 

#g7 ,A MAN IS A BE+ SEP>AT$ FROM ALL O!RS1 :O FEELS HIS LIMITS4 ,AMONG ! NUMB] ( G5]AL LIMITS BY :I* HE SEP>ATES HIMSELF FROM O!R BE+S1 >E HIS LIMITS :I* >E 9 COMMON ) ?AT BE+ 9COMPREH5SIBLE TO HIM--! E>?4 ,DEA? IS ! DE/RUCTION ( ALL ! V>I\S COMMON LIMITS ) O!R BE+S & ALWAYS ( ! COMMON LIMIT ( ! BE+ ( ! E>?--A FUSION ) E>?4 ,EV]Y SICKNESS1 W\ND1 OLD AGE1 IS A DE/RUCTION ( !SE LIMITS4 

.<#b#d#a.> 

#h7 ,! WORK ( LIFE IS TO LOVE4 ,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LOVE EXPRESSLY ?OSE PEOPLE UNWOR?Y ( LOVE2 BUT IT IS POSSIBLE NOT TO LOVE--TO BEHAVE WELL1 9 A GOOD WAY1 T[>D SU* PEOPLE 9 EV]Y GIV5 MOM5T4 

#i7 ,I REMEMB]$ KE5LY :AT A MATT] ( 5ORM\S IMPORTANCE WAS COMPLETE TRU?FULNESS 9 EV]Y DETAIL1 9 EV]Y?+1 ! AVOIDANCE ( ALL \T] FALSE =MS4 ,& ,I DECID$ TO KEEP TO ?IS4 ,IT IS NEV] TOO LATE TO M5D4.<#c#d#e.> 

#a7 ,! M9I/] SAID TO ! MURD]]3 0,OH BRO!R1 DON'T WORRY4 ,GOD HAS P>DON$ EV5 GREAT] S9N]S4 ,BUT :O >E Y\8 ,DON'T LOSE HE>T4 ,PRAY40 ,! MURD]] BUR/ 9TO TE>S4 

#a#a7 ,H[ GREAT & /ABLE SEEM$ ! HAPP9ESS ( ! ,AM]ICAN PEOPLE1 & H[ UN/ABLE IT PROV$ TO BE1 LIKE ALL HAPP9ESS NOT F\ND$ ON LIFE1 ACCORD+ TO ! LAW ( ,*RI/4 ,! ,SPANI%-,AM]ICAN ,W>1 ,J+OISM4 

#a#b7 ,I HAVE (T5 PRAY$ 7ALMO/ )\T BELIEV+1 TO TRY \T7 ?AT ,GOD >RANGE MY LIFE AS ,I WI%4 ,TO-DAY ,I SIMPLY PRAY$ MY CU/OM>Y MORN+ PRAY] & RA!R ATT5TIVELY4 ,& AFT] ?IS PRAY]1 ,I RECALL$ MY WI% & WANT$ TO ADD A PRAY] AB\T ! FULFILLM5T ( ?IS WI%1 & TRI$ TO ADDRESS ,GOD AB\T IT4 ,& IMM$IATELY ,I REALIZ$ MY MI/AKE--?AT IT W\LD BE V]Y MU* BETT] IF EV]Y?+ WAS NOT ACCORD+ TO.<#b#d#b.> MY WILL1 BUT ACCORD+ TO ,HIS4 ,& )\T ! LEA/ EF=T & ) JOY ,I SAID3 0,YES1 LET !RE NOT BE MY WILL1 BUT ,?9E40 

#a#c7 ,A SPIRITUAL LIFE MEANS ?AT Y\ %\LD SEE ! CONNECTION BETWE5 CAUSE & EFFECT 9 ! SPIRITUAL WORLD & ?AT Y\ BE GUID$ 9 LIFE BY ?IS CONNECTION4 ,MAT]IALI/S DO NOT SEE ?IS CONNECTION & !RE=E DO NOT TAKE IT AS A GUIDE = !IR ACTS1 BUT !Y TAKE AS A GUIDE = !IR ACTS ! PHYSICAL1 CAUSAL CONNECTION1 ! ONE :I* IS SO COMPLICAT$ ?AT WE NEV] FULLY KN[ IT1 BECAUSE EV]Y EFFECT IS AN EFFECT ( AN EFFECT2 BUT ! FUNDAM5TAL CAUSE ( EV]Y?+--IS ALWAYS SPIRITUAL4 7,NOT CLE>LY EXPRESS$1 BUT IMPORTANT74 

#a#d7 ,EPICTETUS SAYS ?IS V]Y ?+ :5 HE REPROA*ES PEOPLE = BE+ V]Y ATT5TIVE TO ! PH5OM5ON ( ! \T] WORLD--TO ?AT :I* IS NOT 9 \R P[] & BE+ 9ATT5TIVE TO ! PH5OM5ON ( ! 9N]1 TO ?AT :I* IS 9 \R P[]4 

#a#e7 ,TO MANY IT SEEMS ?AT IF Y\ EXCLUDE P]SONALITY FROM LIFE & A LOVE = IT1 !N NO?+ WILL REMA94 ,IT SEEMS TO !M ?AT )\T P]SONALITY !RE IS NO LIFE4 ,BUT ?IS ONLY APPE>S SO TO PEOPLE :O HAVE NOT EXP]I5C$ SELF-R5UNCIATION4 ,?R[ (F P]SONALITY FROM LIFE1 R5\NCE IT1 & !N !RE WILL REMA9 ?AT :I* MAKES ! ESS5CE ( LIFE--LOVE4 

#a#f7 7,= ,! ,APPEAL7 444 

.<#b#d#c.> 

,TO-MORR[1 ,JULY #a/4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,JULY #f4  
,Y4 ,P4 

,AM 5TIRELY WELL4 ,YE/]DAY ,I TOOK LEAVE ( ,DUNAEV & ,MME4 ,ANN5KOV1 :O W]E H]E4 ,I LIVE V]Y BADLY4 ,I CANNOT RECONCILE MYSELF TO ! WILL ( ,GOD4 

,TO-DAY ,I ?\<T3 

,! LIFE ( ,*RI/ IS V]Y IMPORTANT AS AN 9/ANCE ( ?AT IMPOSSIBILITY ( MAN TO SEE ! FRUITS ( HIS LABORS4 ,& ! LESS SO1 ! MORE IMPORTANT ! WORK4 ,MOSES C\LD 5T] 9TO ! PROMIS$ L& ) HIS PEOPLE1 BUT ,*RI/ C\LD 9 NO WAY SEE ! FRUIT ( HIS TEA*+ EV5 IF HE HAD LIV$ UP TO N[4 ,?IS IS :AT ONE HAS TO LE>N4 ,BUT WE WANT TO DO ! WORK ( ,GOD & TO RECEIVE HUMAN REW>D4 

,JULY #a#g4 ,Y4 ,P4 '#i#h4 ,MORN+4 

,!RE WAS NO?+ V]Y SPECIAL DUR+ !SE #aa DAYS4 ,I HAVE DECID$ TO GIVE MY NOVELS AWAY1 ,RESURRECTION & ,FA!R ,S]GIUS1 TO BE PR9T$ = ! ,DUKHOBORS4.<#c#d#f.> 

,S4 W5T TO ,KIEV4 

,AN 9N] /RUGGLE4 ,I BELIEVE LITTLE 9 ,GOD4 ,I DO NOT REJOICE AT ! EXAM9ATION1 BUT AM BURD5$ BY IT1 ADMITT+ 9 ADVANCE ?AT ,I WON'T PASS4 ,ALL LA/ NI<T ,I DIDN'T SLEEP4 ,I ROSE E>LY & PRAY$ MU*4 

.<#b#d#d.> 

,TO-DAY ! ,DIET]I*S & ! ,GORBUNOVS >RIV$4 ,IT WAS PLEASANT ) !M4 ,TOOK HOLD ( ,RESURRECTION1 & 9 ! BEG9N+ IT W5T WELL1 BUT FROM ! MOM5T :5 ,I BECAME AL>M$1 !SE TWO DAYS1 ,I HAVE BE5 UNABLE TO DO ANY?+4 ,I TOOK A V]Y NICE WALK4 

,I WROTE A LETT] TO ,J>NEFELT.<#c#d#g.> & PREP>$ A PO/SCRIPT4 ,?IS IS ! ONLY IMPORTANT ?+4 ,BUT ,I HAV5'T ! /R5G? TO )/& ! CU/OM>Y TEMPTATION4.<#c#d#h.> ,COME & DWELL )9 US4 ,AWAKE ! RESURRECTION 9 ME6 

,I HAVE MADE MANY NOTES4 ,I WILL H>DLY HAVE TIME TO WRITE !M \T N[4 

#a7 ,BROOD+ LEADS TO DREAMS1 DREAMS TO PASSIONS1 PASSION TO DEVILS4 7,FROM ,LOVE = ! ,GOOD47.<#c#d#i.> 

#b7 ,! AES!TIC PLEASURE :I* Y\ RECEIVE FROM ,NATURE IS ATTA9ABLE TO ALL4 ,EV]Y ONE IS AFFECT$ BY IT DIFF]5TLY1 BUT IT AFFECTS EV]Y ONE4 ,>T %\LD HAVE ! SAME EFFECT4 

#c7 ,H[ DIFFICULT IT IS TO REALLY LIVE = ,GOD ALONE4 ,Y\ ?9K Y\ >E LIV+ = ,GOD1 BUT AS SOON AS LIFE JOLTS Y\1 AS SOON AS ?AT SUPPORT 9 LIFE TO :I* Y\ >E HOLD+ ON1 FAILS Y\1 !N Y\ FEEL ?AT !RE IS NO HOLD+ P[] 9 ,GOD & Y\ FALL4 

#d7 ,= ,FA!R ,S]GIUS3 ,ALONE HE IS GOOD1 ) PEOPLE HE FALLS4 

#e7 ,:AT AN OBVI\S ]ROR3 TO LIVE = WORLDLY.<#b#d#e.> 5DS4 ,:5EV] ! PURPOSE IS NOT N>R[LY EGOTI/IC !N ?IS PURPOSE IS NOT QUICKLY ATTA9$ 9 LIFE4 ,MOSES DID NOT 5T] ! PROMIS$ L& & ,*RI/ DESPAIR$ ( ,HIS LABOR3 0,:Y HA/ ,?\ AB&ON$ ME80444 

#f7 ,!RE IS NO PEACE1 EI!R = HIM :O LIVES = WORLDLY 5DS AMONG PEOPLE1 OR = HIM :O LIVES = SPIRITUAL 5DS ALONE4 ,!RE IS PEACE ONLY !N :5 A MAN LIVES = ! S]VICE ( ,GOD AMONG PEOPLE4 

,TO-DAY1 ,JULY #b4 ,Y4 ,P4 

,A LETT] FROM ,S & FROM ,MA%A4 ,I /ILL DO NOT SLEEP1 BUT ?+S >E SETTL+ !MSELVES 9 MY S\L1 & AS ALWAYS1 SUFF]+ IS ( B5EFIT4 ,YE/]DAY ,I W5T TO ,OVSIANNIKOVO1 SPOKE ) ,IVAN ,IVANOVI*4.<#c#e.> ,YE/]DAY ,I WORK$ WELL ON ,RESURRECTION4 

,IT IS MORN+ N[4 ,I AM NOT CONT9U+ TO WRITE \T FROM ! NOTEBOOKS1 BUT ,I AM GO+ TO WRITE \T :AT ,I--NOT BE+ ASLEEP--HAVE JU/ N[ BE5 ?9K+2 IT IS AN OLD BUT EASILY =GOTT5 ?+1 & AN IMPORTANT ONE :I* %\LD BE ALSO TOLD TO ,N ) :OM !Y TALK$ LA/ NI<T4 ,NAMELY3 

#a7 ,LIFE = ONESELF IS A TORTURE1 BECAUSE Y\ WANT TO LIVE = AN ILLUSION1 = ?AT :I* DOES NOT EXI/1 & IT NOT ONLY CANNOT BE HAPPY1 BUT IT CANNOT BE AT ALL4 ,IT IS ! SAME AS DRESS+ &.<#b#d#f.> FE$+ A %AD[4 ,LIFE EXI/S ONLY \TSIDE ( ONESELF1 9 ! S]VICE ( O!RS1 & NOT 9 ! S]VICE ( ONE'S NE> ONES1 BELOV$ ONES--?AT IS AGA9 = ONESELF--BUT 9 ! S]VICE ( ?OSE :OM WE DO NOT LOVE1 & BETT] /ILL1 9 ! S]VICE ( 5EMIES4 ,HELP1 ,FA!R4 ,! T]RIBLE ]ROR IS ?AT ONE CONFUSES SEX-LOVE1 LOVE = *ILDR51 = FRI5DS1 ) LOVE ( PEOPLE ?R\< ,GOD1 ( PEOPLE TO :OM Y\ >E 9DIFF]5T1 & /ILL MORE ( 5EMIES1 ?AT IS1 ( ]R+ PEOPLE4 

,AUG4 #c4 ,PIROGOVO4 

,AGA9 EV]Y?+ IS 9 ! OLD WAY1 AGA9 MY LIFE IS HORRID4 ,I HAVE LIV$ ?R\< V]Y MU*2 ,I HAV5'T PASS$ ! EXAM9ATION4 ,BUT ,I DO NOT DESPAIR & ,I WANT A REEXAM9ATION4 ,I PASS$ ! EXAM9ATION EXCEPTIONALLY BADLY1 BECAUSE ,I HAD ! 9T5TION ( GO+ OV] TO ANO!R 9/ITUTION4 ,IT IS JU/ !SE ?\<TS ONE MU/ ?R[ AWAY1 !N ONE WILL LE>N BETT]4 

,DUR+ ?IS TIME ,SONYA RETURN$ & DE> ,TANIA ,KUZM9SKY WAS H]E4 ,! WORK ON ,RESURRECTION GOES V]Y BADLY1 AL?\< IT SEEMS TO ME ,I HAVE ?\<T IT \T MU* BETT]4 ,! #cRD DAY 9 ,PIROGOVO4 ,UNCLE  
,S]EZHA.<#c#e#a.> IS NOT AS GOOD AS HE WAS BE=E3 HE IS NOT 9 ! MOOD4 ,M>IA ,NI*OLAIEVNA4.<#c#e#b.> ,= TWO DAYS NO?+ HAS COME 9TO MY HEAD4 

,DUR+ ?IS TIME !RE WAS AL>M+ NEWS AB\T.<#b#d#g.> ! CONDITION ( ! ,DUKHOBORS.<#c#e#c.> & ?AT ,MME4 ,M4 ,N4 ,RO/OVTZEV WAS PUT 9 PRISON4.<#c#e#d.> ,= A LONG TIME !RE HAS BE5 NO LETT] FROM ,*]TKOV4 ,P]HAPS !Y 9T]CEPT !M4.<#c#e#e.> 

,AM GO+ TO CONT9UE TO WRITE \T ?AT :I* ,I HAD NOT WRITT5 \T3 

#a7 444 

#b7 ,!RE >E TWO ME?ODS ( HUMAN ACTIVITY--& ACCORD+ TO :I* ONE ( !SE TWO K9DS ( ACTIVITY PEOPLE MA9LY FOLL[1 >E !RE TWO K9DS ( PEOPLE3 ONE USE !IR REASON TO LE>N :AT IS GOOD & :AT IS BAD & !Y ACT ACCORD+ TO ?IS KN[L$GE2 ! O!R ACT AS !Y WANT TO & !N !Y USE !IR REASON TO PROVE ?AT ?AT :I* !Y DID WAS GOOD & ?AT :I* !Y DIDN'T DO WAS BAD4 

#c7 ,IT IS ABSOLUTELY CLE> ?AT IT IS MU* MORE PR(ITABLE TO DO EV]Y?+ 9 COMMON1 BUT ! REASON+ AB\T ?IS IS 9SUFFICI5T4 ,IF ! REASON+ W]E SUFFICI5T !N IT W\LD HAVE HAPP5$ LONG AGO4 ,! FACT ?AT IT IS SE5 AMONG ,CAPITALI/S IS UNABLE TO CONV9CE PEOPLE TO LIVE 9 COMMON4 ,BESIDES ! REASON+ ?AT ?IS IS PR(ITABLE1 IT IS NECESS>Y ?AT ! HE>T BE READY TO LIVE LIKE ?AT 7?AT ! WORLD PO9T ( VIEW %\LD BE SU* ?AT IT W\LD H>MONIZE ) ! 9DICATIONS ( ! REASON71 BUT ?IS IS NOT SO & WILL NOT BE SO UNTIL ! DESIRES ( ! HE>T >E *ANG$1 I4E41 ! WORLD PO9T ( VIEW ( PEOPLE4 

.<#b#d#h.> 

#d7 ,EV5 IF ?AT :I* ,M>X PR$ICT$ %\LD HAPP51 !N ! ONLY ?+ ?AT WILL HAPP51 IS ?AT DESPOTISM WILL BE PASS$ ON4 ,N[ ! CAPITALI/S RULE1 BUT !N ! DIRECTORS ( ! WORK+ PEOPLE WILL RULE4 

#e7 ,! MI/AKE ( ! ,M>XI/S 7& NOT ONLY !Y1 BUT ! :OLE MAT]IALI/IC S*OOL7 LIES 9 ! FACT ?AT !Y DO NOT SEE ?AT ! LIFE ( HUMANITY IS MOV$ BY ! GR[? ( CONSCI\SNESS1 BY ! MOVEM5T ( RELIGION1 BY AN UND]/&+ ( LIFE BECOM+ MORE & MORE CLE>1 G5]AL1 MEET+ ALL PROBLEMS & NOT BY AN ECONOMIC CAUSE4 

#f7 ,! MO/ UN?\<T ?+1 ! ]ROR1 ( ! !ORY ( ,M>X IS 9 ! SUPPOSITION ?AT CAPITAL WILL PASS FROM ! H&S ( PRIVATE PEOPLE 9TO ! H&S ( ! GOV]NM5T1 & FROM ! GOV]NM5T1 REPRES5T+ ! PEOPLE1 9TO ! H&S ( ! WORK]S4444 

#g7 ,!RE IS NO?+ ?AT S(T5S ! HE>T SO MU* AS ! CONSCI\SNESS ( ONE'S GUILT1 & NO?+ H>D5S IT SO MU* AS ! CONSCI\SNESS ( ONE'S RI<T4 

#h7 ,WORK+ PEOPLE >E SO 444 ?AT IT SEEMS TO !M !Y HAVE NO \TLET4 ,SALVATION LIES 9 TRU?1 9 PREA*+ & PR(ESS+ IT4 

#i7 ,!Y PROVE ! LAW ( ! CONS]VATION ( 5]GY2 BUT 5]GY IS NO?+ ELSE ?AN AN AB/RACT NOTION1 JU/ ! SAME AS MATT]4 ,BUT AN AB/RACT NOTION IS ALWAYS EQUAL TO ITSELF4 ,9 FACT1 ?IS IS.<#b#d#i.> NO?+ ELSE ?AN AS IF WE W]E TO BEG9 TO PROVE ?AT ! LAW ( GRAVITATION1 NOT)/&+ SEEM+ DEP>TURES1 EXI/S UN*ANG+LY 9 EV]Y?+4 7,UNCLE> & P]HAPS UNTRUE47 

#a7 ,! BELIEF 9 MIRACLES HAS = ITS BASIS ! CONSCI\SNESS ?AT \R WORLD JU/ AS IT IS1 IS ! PRODUCT ( \R S5SES4 ,BUT ! ]ROR LIES ONLY 9 SUPPOS+ ?AT ! MIRACUL\S1 ?AT IS1 ?AT SOME?+ :I* IS AGA9/ ! LAWS ( REASON1 :5 APPLI$ TO \R S5SES1 CAN HAPP5 = US ) \R TOOL ( CONSCI\SNESS1 I4E41 ) \R S5SES4 ,?AT :I* IS AGA9/ \R LAWS ( REASON1 :5 APPLI$ TO \R S5SES1 CAN HAPP5 = O!R BE+S1 = BE+S ) O!R S5SES1 JU/ AS \R TOOL ( CONSCI\SNESS1 \R S5SE1 IS ONLY ONE P>TICUL> 9/ANCE FROM ! 9NUM]ABLE QUANTITY ( O!R POSSIBILITIES4 

#a#a7 ,IT IS A GREAT ]ROR TO ?9K ?AT ! REASON ( MAN IS P]FECT & CAN DISCLOSE EV]Y?+ TO HIM4 ,! LIMITATION ( REASON IS BE/ SE5 & MO/ OBVI\S FROM ! FACT ?AT A MAN CANNOT SOLVE 7HE CLE>LY SEES ?AT HE CANNOT7 ! PROBLEMS ( 9F9ITY3 = EA* TIME !RE IS /ILL MORE TIME1 = EA* SPACE !RE IS /ILL MORE SPACE1 = EA* NUMB] !RE IS /ILL A NUMB]1 SO ?AT ALL TIME & SPACE IS UNKN[ABLE4 

#a#b7 ,! REASON ( MAN IS JU/ AS WEAK & 9SIGNIFICANT 9 COMP>ISON 7& 9 AN 9F9ITE NUMB] ( TIMES MORE SO7 ) ?AT :I* IS1 AS IS !.<#b#e.> REASON 7! MEANS ( P]CEPTION7 ( A BEETLE & AN AMAEBA 9 COMP>ISON ) ! REASON ( MAN4 ,! REASON ( MAN 9 COMP>ISON1 NOT ONLY ) ! HI<E/ REASON1 BUT ) ! REASON :I* IS HI<] ?AN HIS--IS JU/ ! SAME AS ! UND]/&+ ( A COMPLICAT$ PROBLEM ( HI<] MA!MATICS OR EV5 ( ALGEBRA = A MAN NOT KN[+ MA!MATICS1 TO :OM IT SEEMS 9SOLUBLE1 AS >E ! PROBLEMS ( ! 9F9ITY ( SPACE & TIME TO US4 ,:ILE ! PROBLEM IS SIMPLE & CLE> = ONE KN[+ MA!MATICS4 ,! DIFF]5CE IS ONLY 9 ?IS1 ?AT ONE CAN LE>N MA!MATICS1 BUT NO /UDY WILL HELP TO SOLVE ! PROBLEM ( SPACE & TIME4 ,?IS IS ! LIMIT ( ! POSSIBILITY ( \R KN[L$GE UND] \R REASON4 

#a#c7 ,I PRAY ,GOD ?AT ,HE RELEASE ME FROM MY SUFF]+ :I* TORTURES  
ME4 ,BUT ?IS SUFF]+ IS S5T TO ME BY ,GOD 9 ORD] TO RELEASE ME FROM EVIL4 ,! MA/] :IPS HIS CATTLE ) ! :IP 9 ORD] TO DRIVE !M FROM ! BURN+ Y>D & SAVE !M1 & ! CATTLE PRAY ?AT HE DO NOT :IP !M4 

#a#d7 ,!RE >E COMMON1 SOMETIMES 9T5TIONAL1 SOMETIMES UN9T5TIONAL1 MISUND]/&+S ( MY OP9IONS :I* ,I CONFESS IRRITATE ME3 

A7 ,I SAY ?AT ,GOD 444 IS NOT ,GOD & ?AT ,GOD IS ?AT :I* ALONE IS--! UNATTA9ABLE GOOD1 ! BEG9N+ ( EV]Y?+3 AGA9/ ME !Y SAY1 ?AT ,I D5Y ,GOD2.<#b#e#a.> 

B7 ,I SAY ?AT ONE \<T NOT TO RESI/ VIOL5CE BY VIOL5CE3 AGA9/ ME !Y SAY1 ?AT ,I SAY IT IS NOT NECESS>Y TO FI<T EVIL2 

C7 ,I SAY ?AT ONE \<T TO /RIVE T[>DS *A/ITY & ?AT ON ?IS ROAD ! HI<E/ GRADE WILL BE VIRG9ITY1 & SECOND A CLEAN M>RIAGE1 ! ?IRD NOT A CLEAN1 ?AT IS1 NOT A MONOGAM\S M>RIAGE3 AGA9/ ME !Y SAY1 ?AT ,I D5Y M>RIAGE & ,I PREA* ! DE/RUCTION ( ! HUMAN RACE4 

D7 ,I SAY ?AT >T IS AN 9FECTI\S ACTIVITY & ?AT ! MORE 9FECTI\S >T IS1 ! BETT] IT IS4 ,BUT ?AT ?IS ACTIVITY BE GOOD OR BAD1 DOES NOT DEP5D ON H[ MU* IT SATISFIES ! DEM&S ( >T1 I4E41 ITS 9FECTI\SNESS1 BUT ON H[ MU* IT SATISFIES ! DEM&S ( ! RELIGI\S CONSCI\SNESS1 I4E41 MORALITY1 CONSCI5CE2 AGA9/ ME !Y SAY ?AT ,I PREA* A T5D5CE >T1 ETC4 

#a#e7 ,WOMAN--& ! LEG5DS SAY IT ALSO--IS ! TOOL ( ! DEVIL4 ,%E IS G5]ALLY /UPID1 BUT ! DEVIL L5DS H] HIS BRA9 :5 %E WORKS = HIM4 ,H]E Y\ SEE1 %E HAS DONE MIRACLES ( ?9K+1 F>-SI<T$NESS1 CON/ANCY1 9 ORD] TO DO SOME?+ NA/Y2 BUT AS SOON AS SOME?+ NOT NA/Y IS NE$$1 %E CANNOT UND]/& ! SIMPLE/ ?+2 %E CANNOT SEE F>!R ?AN ! PRES5T MOM5T & !RE IS NO SELF-CONTROL & NO PATI5CE 7EXCEPT *ILD-BIR? & ! C>E ( *ILDR574 

#a#f7 ,ALL ?IS CONC]NS WOM51 UN-,*RI/IANS1 UN*A/E WOM51 AS >E ALL ! WOM5 ( \R ,*RI/IAN.<#b#e#b.> WORLD4 ,OH1 H[ ,I W\LD LIKE TO %[ TO WOM5 ALL ! SIGNIFICANCE ( A *A/E WOMAN4 ,A *A/E WOMAN 7NOT 9 VA9 IS ! LEG5D ( ,M>Y7 WILL SAVE ! WORLD4 

#a#g7 ,PEOPLE >E OCCUPI$ ) ?REE ?+S3 #a7 TO FE$ !MSELVES1 I4E41 TO CONT9UE !IR EXI/5CE1 #b7 TO MULTIPLY--TO CONT9UE ! EXI/5CE ( ! SPECIE1 & #c7 TO FULFILL ?AT = :I* !Y HAD BE5 S5T 9 ! WORLD3 TO E/ABLI% ! K+DOM ( ,GOD4 ,= ?IS !RE IS ONE MEANS--TO P]FECT ONESELF4 ,ALMO/ ALL PEOPLE >E OCCUPI$ ) ! FIR/ TWO MATT]S1 =GETT+ ! LA/1 :I* AT BOTTOM IS ! ONLY REAL WORK4 

#a#h7 ,! DECL9E ( ! MORAL CONSCI\SNESS ( HUMANITY LIES 9 ! GREATE/ P>T ( ! PEOPLE BE+ PLAC$ 9 SU* A SITUATION ?AT ALL 9T]E/ 9 LIFE = !M IS ONLY TO FE$ & TO MULTIPLY4 ,IT IS JU/ ! SAME AS IF ! MA/] KEPT HIS CATTLE1 C>+ ONLY ?AT !Y BE F$1 OR BETT]1 ?AT !Y DO NOT DIE FROM HUNG] & ?AT !Y MULTIPLY1 & NEV] RECEIV$ ANY 9COME FROM !M3 NO WOOL1 OR MILK1 OR WORK FROM !M--FROM !SE CATTLE4 ,! ,MA/] :O S5T US 9 ?IS WORLD REQUIRES FROM US1 BESIDES EXI/5CE & ITS CONT9UATION1 ALSO ! LABOR ,HE NE$S4 

#a#i7 ,= ,RESURRECTION4 ,IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO ?9K & REMEMB] ONE'S S9 & BE SELF-SATISFI$4 ,BUT HE HAD TO BE SELF-SATISFI$ 9 ORD] TO LIVE1 & !RE=E HE DID NOT ?9K & =GOT4 

.<#b#e#c.> 

#b7 ,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DEM& FROM WOMAN ?AT %E VALUATE ! FEEL+ ( H] EXCLUSIVE LOVE1 ON ! BASIS ( MORAL FEEL+4 ,%E CANNOT DO IT1 BECAUSE %E HASN'T GOT A REAL MORAL FEEL+1 I4E41 ONE ?AT /&S HI<] ?AN EV]Y?+4 

,TO-DAY ,I PLAN TO GO HOME4 

,AUG4 #d4 ,Y4 ,P4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,:Y DOES ! #d? ( ,AUGU/ COME TO MY M9D AS IF IT W]E IMPORTANT8 ,NO?+ IMPORTANT HAS HAPP5$4 

,TO-DAY1 ,AUGU/ #b#d4 ,Y4 ,P4 

,DUR+ ?IS TIME ,I RECEIV$ NO LETT]S FROM ,*]TKOV & AM V]Y P]PLEX$4.<#c#e#f.> ,I ?9K ?AT DUR+ ?IS TIME ! ,DUKHOBORS W]E H]E4 ,LETT]S FROM ,KHILKOV1 FROM ,IVAN ,MI*AILOVI*4 ,I ANSW]$ !M ALL4 ,TO-DAY ,SULL]ZHITSKY >RIV$4.<#c#e#g.> ,I AM WORK+ ALL ! TIME ON ,RESURRECTION & AM PLEAS$1 EV5 V]Y MU* SO4 ,I AM AFRAID ( %OCKS4 

444 ,& ,I FEEL WELL4 ,A FULL H\SE ( PEOPLE3 ,MA%5KA1.<#c#e#h.> ,/AKHOVI*1 ,V]A ,KUZM9SKY1.<#c#e#i.> ,V]A ,TOL/OY4.<#c#f.> 

,I AM COPY+3 

#a7 ,PEOPLE W]E S5T 9TO ! WORLD TO DO ! WORK ( ,GOD1 BUT !Y QU>REL$1 F\<T & E/ABLI%$ ?+S 9 SU* A WAY ?AT = SOME1 !RE IS NO TIME TO DO ! WORK1 BECAUSE !Y HAVE TO.<#b#e#d.> FE$ !MSELVES1 & = O!RS !RE IS NO TIME1 BECAUSE !Y HAVE TO GU>D ?AT :I* !Y TOOK AWAY4 ,:AT A WA/E ( /R5G?6 ,IT IS JU/ AS IF WORK]S HAD BE5 S5T TO WORK & GIV5 FOOD2 SOME HAVE TAK5 ! FOOD AWAY & !Y HAVE TO GU>D IT & ! O!RS HAVE TO GET FOOD1 & ! WORK /&S /ILL4 

#b7 ,PEOPLE LIVE 9 ! WORLD NOT FULFILL+ !IR MISSION--IT IS ! SAME WAY AS IF FACTORY WORK]S W]E ONLY BUSI$ ) H[ TO LODGE !MSELVES1 FE$ !MSELVES & AMUSE !MSELVES4 

#c7 ,ONE ( ! MO/ IMPORTANT TASKS ( HUMANITY CONSI/S 9 ! BR++ UP ( A *A/E WOMAN4 

#d7 ,I (T5 ?9K ?AT ! WORLD IS SU* AS IT IS1 ONLY BECAUSE ,I AM SO SEP>AT$ FROM ALL ! RE/4 ,AS SOON AS MY SEP>AT5ESS FROM  
,EV]Y?+ WILL 5D1 !N ! LIMITS WILL BE TORN AWAY & O!R LIMITS WILL BE E/ABLI%$--& !N ! WORLD WILL BECOME ALTOGE!R DIFF]5T = ME4 

#e7 ,Y\ WI% TO S]VE HUMANITY8 ,V]Y WELL4 ,?AT :I* Y\ WI% TO DO1 ANO!R WILL DO4 ,>E Y\ SATISFI$8 ,NO1 DISSATISFI$1 BECAUSE ! IMPORTANT ?+ = ME IS NOT :AT WILL BE DONE1 BUT :AT ,I WILL DO2 ?AT ,I DO MY WORK4 ,?IS IS ! BE/ PRO( ?AT ! MATT] IS NOT 9 ! DO+1 BUT 9 ! ADVANCEM5T T[>DS ! GOOD4 

,IS IT POSSIBLE ?AT ,I AM ADVANC+8 ,HELP1 ,LORD4 

.<#b#e#e.> 

#f7 ,H[ DIFFICULT IT IS TO PLEASE PEOPLE3 SOME NE$ ONE ?+1 O!RS ANO!R4 ,!Y NE$ BO? MY PA/ & MY FUTURE4 ,GOD IS ONE1 & ,HIS ,WILL 9 RESPECT TO ME IS ONE1 & ,HE WANTS ONLY MY PRES5T1 :AT ,I AM DO+ ?IS M9UTE IS :AT ,HE WANTS4 ,& :AT WAS1 HAS BE51 & :AT WILL BE1 ISN'T MY BUS9ESS4 

#g7 ,EGOISM1 ! :OLE EGOI/IC LIFE1 IS LEGITIMATE ONLY AS LONG AS REASON HAS NOT AWAK5$4 ,AS SOON AS IT HAS AWAK5$1 !N EGOISM IS LAWFUL1 ONLY TO ?AT DEGREE 9 :I* ONE HAS TO SU/A9 ONESELF AS A TOOL NECESS>Y = ! S]VICE ( PEOPLE4 ,! PURPOSE ( REASON--IS ! S]VICE TO PEOPLE4 ,ALL ! HORROR LIES 9 ITS BE+ US$ = S]VICE TO ONESELF4 

#h7 ,MAN GIVES HIMSELF TO ! ILLUSION ( EGOISM1 LIVES = HIMSELF--& HE SUFF]S4 ,IT SUFFICES ?AT HE BEG9 TO LIVE = O!RS1 & ! SUFF]+ BECOMES LI<T] & !RE IS OBTA9$ ! HI<E/ GOOD 9 ! WORLD3 LOVE ( PEOPLE4 

#i7 ,AS ONE DISACCU/OMS ONESELF FROM SMOK+ OR O!R HABITS1 SO ONE CAN & MU/ DISACCU/OM ONESELF FROM EGOISM4 ,:5 Y\ WI% TO 5L>GE Y\R PLEASURE1 :5 Y\ WI% TO EXHIBIT Y\RSELF1 :5 Y\ CALL =? LOVE 9 O!RS1 /OP4 ,IF Y\ HAVE NO?+ TO DO = O!RS1 OR Y\ HAVE NO DESIRE TO DO ANY?+1 !N DO NO?+--ONLY DON'T DO ANY?+ = Y\RSELF4 

#a7 ,! ,BAV>IAN TOLD AB\T !IR LIFE4 ,HE.<#b#e#f.> BOA/S AB\T ! HI< DEGREE ( FRE$OM1 BUT AT ! SAME TIME !Y HAVE COMPULSORY RELIGI\S TEA*+1 A CRUDE ,CA?OLIC ONE4 ,?AT IS ! MO/ HORRIBLE DESPOTISM4 ,WORSE ?AN \RS4 

,AUG4 #b#e4 ,Y4 ,P4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,NOV4 #b4 ,Y4 ,P4 

,IT IS HORRIBLE TO SEE = :AT A LONG TIME ,I HAVE MADE NO 5TRIES3 MORE ?AN TWO MON?S4 ,& NOT ONLY HAS !RE BE5 NO?+ BAD1 BUT RA!R EV]Y?+ WAS GOOD4 ,! ,JUBILEE WAS NOT AS REPULSIVE & AS DEPRESS+ AS ,I EXPECT$4.<#c#f#a.> ,! SALE ( ! NOVEL & ! RECEIPT ( ! #a#b1 RUBLES :I* ,I GAVE TO ! ,DUKHOBORS WAS WELL >RANG$4.<#c#f#b.> ,I WAS DISPLEAS$ ) ,*]TKOV.<#c#f#c.> & ,I SAW ?AT ,I WAS AT FAULT4 ,A ,DUKHOBOR >RIV$ FROM ! PROV9CE ( ,YAKUTSK4 ,I LIK$ HIM V]Y MU*.<#c#f#d.> 444 

,MA%A IS PITIABLE 9 H] WEAKNESS1 BUT %E IS JU/ AS NE> 9 SPIRIT4444 

,BUT GLORY TO ,GOD & ?ANKS BE TO ,HIM ?AT HE HAS AWAK5$ IT 9 ME & HAS KEPT IT BURN+ SO ?AT IT IS NATURAL = ME EI!R TO LOVE & REJOICE1 OR TO LOVE & TO PITY4 ,& :AT HAPP9ESS6 

,>*] WAS H]E YE/]DAY1 >RIV+ FROM ,*]TKOV--,I LIK$ HIM4.<#c#f#e.> ,!RE IS MU* TO DO1 BUT ,I AM ALL ABSORB$ 9 ,RESURRECTION1 BE+ SP>+ ) ! WAT] & US+ IT ONLY = ,RESURRECTION4.<#b#e#g.> ,IT SEEMS TO ME IT WON'T BE BAD4 ,PEOPLE PRAISE IT1 BUT ,I DON'T BELIEVE4 

,EV]Y?+ ?AT ,I NOT$--IT WAS ALL V]Y IMPORTANT--,I WILL WRITE \T LAT]1 BUT N[ ,I WANT TO WRITE ?AT :I* ,I JU/ N[1 WALK+ ON ! PA?1 9 ! EV5+1 NOT ONLY ?\<T BUT FELT CLE>LY3 

#a7 ,UND] MY FEET !RE IS ! FROZ51 H>D E>?2 >\ND1 5ORM\S TREES2 OV]HEAD A CL\DY SKY2 ,I F$ MY BODY1 ,I FEEL PA9 9 ! HEAD2 ,I AM OCCUPI$ ) ?\<TS ON ,RESURRECTION2 & YET ,I KN[1 ,I FEEL 9 ALL MY BE+1 ?AT BO? ! FIRM & FROZ5 E>? & ! TREES & ! SKY & MY BODY & MY ?\<TS--ALL ?IS IS ONLY A PRODUCT ( MY FIVE S5SES1 MY IMAGE1 ! WORLD1 MADE BY ME BECAUSE SU* IS MY P>TITION FROM ! WORLD4 ,& ?AT IT WILL BE SUFFICI5T = ME TO DIE--& ALL ?IS WILL NOT DISAPPE> BUT WILL BECOME TRANS=M$1 AS !Y MAKE TRANS=MATIONS 9 ! !AT]S3 FROM BU%ES & /ONES1 !Y MAKE CA/LES1 T[]S1 ETC4 ,DEA? IS NO?+ ELSE ?AN SU* A TRANS=MATION1 DEP5D5T FROM ANO!R P>TITION FROM ! WORLD1 ANO!R P]SONALITY3 ,H]E ,I CONSID] AS MYSELF1 MY BODY ) MY S5SES1 & !N SOME?+ ELSE WILL DETA* ITSELF TO BE MYSELF4 ,& !N ! :OLE WORLD WILL BECOME SOME?+ ELSE4 ,BUT ! WORLD IS SU* & NOT SOME?+ ELSE1 ONLY BECAUSE ,I CONSID] MYSELF AS ?IS & NOT AS SOME?+ ELSE4 ,BUT !RE CAN BE.<#b#e#h.> AN 9NUM]ABLE QUANTITY ( DIVISIONS ( ! WORLD4 7,?IS IS NOT 5TIRELY CLE> = O!RS1 BUT = ME--V]Y47.<#c#f#f.> 

,NOV4 #c4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,NOV4 #a#d4 ,Y4 ,P4 

,AGA9 ,I HAVE NOT NOTIC$ H[ #aa DAYS HAVE PASS$4 ,HAVE BE5 V]Y 9T5SELY OCCUPI$ ) ,RESURRECTION & AM MAK+ GOOD PROGRESS4 ,AM ABSOLUTELY NE> ! 5D4 ,S]EZHA & ,SULL] W]E H]E & BO? W5T AWAY TO ! ,CAUCASUS ) MY LETT] TO ,GOLITS94.<#c#f#g.> ,S4 >RIV$ YE/]DAY4 ,V]Y WELL4 ,IT IS A LONG TIME S9CE ,I HAVE FELT SO WELL & KE51 9TELLECTUALLY & PHYSICALLY4 

,I CANNOT MAKE \T :AT ,I HAVE WRITT5 \T & :AT ,I HAV5'T4.<#c#f#h.> 

#a7 ,H[ DIFFICULT IT IS TO PLEASE PEOPLE6 ,9 ORD] TO PLEASE !M IT IS NECESS>Y ?AT ! PA/ & ! FUTURE MEET !IR DEM&S4 ,BUT 9 ORD] TO PLEASE ,GOD1 ONE HAS ONLY TO SATISFY ,HIS DEM&S 9 ! PRES5T4 

#b7 ,TO LIVE = O!RS SEEMS DIFFICULT--JU/ AS TO WORK SEEMS DIFFICULT4 ,BUT JU/ AS 9 WORK1 9 ! C>E = O!RS !RE MAY BE ! BE/ REW>D3 LOVE ( O!RS MAY & MAY NOT BE2 :ILE 9 LABOR !RE IS AN 9N] REW>D1 Y\ WORK TO ! 5D1 GET TIR$1 & Y\ FEEL GOOD4 

#c7 ,! POETRY ( ! PA/ OCCUPI$ ITSELF ONLY ) ! /RONG ( ! WORLD3 ) ! ,CZ>S1 ETC41.<#b#e#i.> BECAUSE ! /RONG ( ! WORLD APPE>$ AS ! HI<E/ & ! MO/ COMPLETE REPRES5TATIVES ( ! PEOPLE4 ,BUT IF Y\ TAKE ! PLA9 PEOPLE1 !N IT IS NECESS>Y ?AT !Y EXPRESS G5]AL PH5OM5A 444 7,UNCLE>47 

#d7 ,IF Y\ DO NOT P]MIT Y\RSELF TO LIVE = Y\RSELF1 !N 9VOLUNT>ILY1 FROM BOR$OM1 Y\ BEG9 TO LIVE = O!RS4 

#e7 ,WOMAN1 JU/ LIKE MAN1 IS 5D[$ ) FEEL+ & BRA91 BUT ! DIFF]5CE IS 9 ?IS1 ?AT M5 MO/LY CONSID] !MSELVES & !IR FEEL+S B\ND BY ! COMM&S ( REASON1 :ILE WOM5 CONSID] !IR FEEL+S B9D+ = !MSELVES & = !IR REASON4 ,! SAME ?+1 BUT ONLY 9 DIFF]5T PLACES4 

#f7 ,Y\ GET ANGRY AT ! PHILOSOPH] :O REASONS1 :O CONSID]S ?AT ! MA9 BASIS ( ! LIFE ( MAN IS HIS MAT]IAL NATURE2 BUT ?IS MAN DOES NOT KN[ ! SPIRITUAL1 BUT KN[S ONLY MAT]IAL EFFECT & !RE=E HE CANNOT ?9K O!RWISE4 

#g7 ,Y\ ?9K ?AT Y\ >E ALONE & Y\ SUFF] FROM LONEL9ESS2 YET Y\ >E NOT ONLY 9 H>MONY1 BUT Y\ >E ONE ) EV]Y ONE2 ONLY >TIFICIAL & REMOVABLE B>RI]S SEP>ATE Y\4 ,REMOVE !M--& Y\ >E ONE ) EV]Y ONE4 ,! REMOV+ ( !SE B>RI]S ACCORD+ TO Y\R /R5G? IS ! BUS9ESS ( LIFE4 

#h7 ,IF A MAN CONSID]S HIS ANIMAL BE+ AS HIMSELF1.<#b#f.> !N HE WILL REPRES5T ,GOD ALSO AS A MAT]IAL BE+1 A RUL] :O RULES MAT]IALLY OV] MAT]IAL ?+S4 ,BUT ,GOD IS NOT SU*1 ,GOD IS SPIRIT & DOES NOT RULE OV] ANY?+1 BUT LIVES 9 EV]Y?+4 

#i7 444 ,IF PEOPLE C\LD HAVE BE5 SO DECEIV$1 !N !RE IS NO DECEPTION 9TO :I* !Y W\LD NOT FALL4 

#a7 ,I HAVE NOT$ D[N ?AT IT IS DEPRESS+ BECAUSE !RE IS NO LIFE1 BUT ONLY AN EGOI/IC EXI/5CE4 ,I CANNOT REMEMB] :AT ELSE ,I C\LD HAVE MEANT BY ?IS4 

#a#a7 ,GOD MANIFE/S HIMSELF 9 \R CONSCI\SNESS4 ,:5 !RE IS NO CONSCI\SNESS--!RE IS NO ,GOD4 ,ONLY CONSCI\SNESS GIVES ! POSSIBILITY = ! GOOD1 = CONT95CE1 S]VICE1 SELF-SACRIFICE4 ,EV]Y?+ DEP5DS TO :AT CONSCI\SNESS IS DIRECT$4 ,CONSCI\SNESS DIRECT$ TO ! ANIMAL 0SELF0 KILLS1 P>ALYZES LIFE4 ,CONSCI\SNESS DIRECT$ TO ! SPIRITUAL 0SELF0 R\SES1 LIFTS1 FREES LIFE4 ,CONSCI\SNESS DIRECT$ TO ! ANIMAL 0SELF0 /R5G!NS1 IGNITES PASSION1 CREATES FE>1 /RUGGLE1 ! HORROR ( DEA?4 ,CONSCI\SNESS DIRECT$ T[>DS ! SPIRITUAL 0SELF0 FREES LOVE4 ,?IS IS V]Y IMPORTANT & IF ,I LIVE1 ,I WILL WRITE IT \T4 

#a#b7 ,DEA? IS A *ANGE ( CONSCI\SNESS1 A *ANGE ( ?AT :I* ,I CAN RECOGNIZE AS MYSELF4 ,& !RE=E FE> ( DEA? IS A HORRIBLE SUP]/ITION4 ,DEA? IS A JOY\S EV5T /&+ AT !.<#b#f#a.> 5D ( EA* LIFE4 ,SUFF]+ IS S5T TO PEOPLE TO HOLD !M BACK FROM DEA?4 ,O!RWISE EV]Y ONE UND]/&+ LIFE & DEA?1 W\LD /RUGGLE T[>DS DEA?4 ,BUT N[ IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GO T[>DS DEA? UNLESS ?R\< SUFF]+4 

#a#c7 ,! GREATE/ ACT 9 LIFE IS ! CONSCI\SNESS ( ONE'S SELF1 & ITS CONSEQU5CES >E B5EVOL5T OR MO/ T]RIBLE1 ACCORD+ TO :E!R Y\ DIRECT Y\R CONSCI\SNESS T[>DS ! SPIRIT OR T[>DS ! BODY4 

#a#d7 ,9 ORD] TO GET RID ( MORAL SUFF]+ 7& EV5 PHYSICAL7 !RE >E TWO MEANS3 TO DE/ROY ! CAUSE ( SUFF]+ OR ! FEEL+ 9 ONE'S SELF :I* PRODUCES SUFF]+4 ,! FIR/ IS NOT 9 MAN'S P[]1 ! SECOND IS4 7,I AM REPEAT+ ,EPICTETUS74 

#a#e7 ,! MORAL PROGRESS ( HUMANITY ADVANCES ONLY BECAUSE !RE >E OLD PEOPLE4 ,! OLD PEOPLE BECOME K9D]1 WIS]1 & GIVE OV] ?AT :I* !Y HAVE LIV$ ?R\< TO ! FOLL[+ G5]ATIONS4 ,IF ?IS W]E NOT SO1 HUMANITY HAD NOT ADVANC$2 & :AT A SIMPLE ME?OD6 

#a#f7 ,IF MAN LOOKS ON LIFE MAT]IALLY1 !N OLD PEOPLE DO NOT BECOME BETT]1 BUT WORSE1 & !RE IS NO PROGRESS4 

#a#g7 ,TE*NICAL PROGRESS IS GREET$ BY EV]Y ONE1 IS PU%$ ON BY EV]Y ONE2 ! MORAL1 ! RELIGI\S PROGRESS1 IS HELD BACK BY ! PRIE/S4 ,FROM ?IS COME ! MA9 CALAMITIES 9 LIFE4 

.<#b#f#b.> 

,NOVEMB] #a#e4 ,Y4 ,P4 ,IF ,I LIVE4 

,IT SEEM$ TO ME ?AT ,I MADE NO 5TRIES = AB\T ?REE DAYS & N[ IT IS T5 DAYS4 ,TO-DAY1 ,NOV4 #b#e4  
,Y4 ,P4 

444 ,I PROMIS$ TO >RIVE ,DECEMB] #f?4.<#c#f#i.>444 ,I FEEL ALSO LIKE GO+ TO ,PIROGOVO4 ,WE >E ALONE3 ,TANIA1 ,MA%A1 ,KOLIA4 ,ONLY ,LIZA ,OBOL5SKY4.<#c#g.> ,I AM /ILL DILIG5TLY OCCUPY+ MYSELF )  
,RESURRECTION4 

,LA/ NI<T ,I ?\<T \T AN >TICLE ON :Y ! PEOPLE >E CORRUPT$4 ,!Y HAVE NO FAI? ( ANY K9D4 ,!Y *RI/5 NAIVE 9FANTS & !N !Y CONSID] EV]Y REASON+ AB\T FAI? 7P]V]SION7 & EV]Y LAPSE1 AS A CAPITAL CRIME4 ,ONLY ! SECT>IANS HAVE FAI?4 ,P]HAPS ,I AM GO+ TO BR+ ?AT 9TO ! ,APPEAL4 ,:AT A PITY4 ,I ?\<T IT \T WELL AT NI<T4 

,RESURRECTION IS GR[+4 ,IT CAN H>DLY BE COMPRESS$ 9TO #a *APT]S4.<#c#g#a.> 

,I HAVE NOT$ D[N ! FOLL[+ & ,I ?9K IT IS V]Y IMPORTANT 7:I* MI<T BE GOOD = ! ,DECL>ATION ( ,FAI?73 

#a7 ,WE >E V]Y MU* ACCU/OM$ TO ! REASON+ AS TO H[ ! LIFE ( O!R PEOPLE1 PEOPLE 9 G5]AL1 %\LD BE >RANG$4 ,& SU* K9D ( REASON+ DOES NOT SEEM /RANGE TO US4 ,& YET SU* K9D ( REASON+ C\LD 9 NO WAYS EXI/ AMONG RELIGI\S & !RE=E FREE PEOPLE2 SU* REASON+ IS ! CONSEQU5CE ( DESPOTISM1 444.<#b#f#c.> ,9 ?IS WAY REASON 444 ,!Y SAY3 0,IF ,I HAD ! P[] ,I W\LD DO SO & SO ) ! O!RS40 ,?AT IS A DANG]\S ]ROR1 NOT ONLY BECAUSE IT TORTURES1 DE=MS PEOPLE :O HAVE TO UND]GO VIOL5CE 444 BUT IT WEAK5S 9 ALL PEOPLE ! CONSCI\SNESS ( ! NECESSITY ( IMPROV+ !MSELVES1 :I* IS ! ONLY EFFECTIVE MEANS ( 9FLU5C+ O!R PEOPLE4 

#b7 ,TO-DAY ,I ?\<T AB\T ?IS FROM ANO!R ANGLE4 ,I RECALL$ ! WORDS ( ! ,GOSPEL3 0,& ! PUPIL IS NOT HI<] ?AN ! TEA*]2 IF HE LE>NS !N HE WILL BE LIKE ! PUPIL40 ,WE1 ! RI* MA/]-CLASSES1 TEA* ! PEOPLE4 ,:AT W\LD HAPP5 IF WE SUCCE$$ 9 TEA*+ !M SO ?AT !Y BECOME AS WE >E8 

#c7 ,!Y TALK1 !Y WRITE1 !Y PREA* AB\T ! KN[+ ( ,GOD4 ,:AT A HORRIBLE BLASPHEMY1 & HORRIBLE ADMISSION ( ! NON-UND]/&+ ( :AT ,GOD IS & :AT WE >E4 ,WE1 A P>TICLE ( ! 9F9ITE :OLE1 WI% TO UND]/& NOT ONLY ?IS :OLE1 BUT ITS CAUSES1 ! ORIG9 ( ! :OLE4 ,:AT ABSURDITY & :AT A RECOGNITION ( GODLESSNESS1 OR A RECOGNITION ( ,GOD ( ?AT :I* IS NOT ,GOD4 ,WE CAN ONLY KN[ ?AT ,HE IS1 88 881 ,HE EXI/S1 & WE CAN ONLY CONCLUDE BY \RSELVES1 :AT ,HE IS NOT4 

#d7 ,LOVE IS ,GOD4 ,LOVE IS ONLY ! RECOGNITION ?AT ,GOD IS NOT FLE%1 NOT PASSION1 NOT EGOISM1 NOT MALICE4 7,D\BTFUL47 

.<#b#f#d.> 

#e7 ,VIOL5CE RULES \R WORLD1 I4E41 MALICE1 & !RE=E !RE IS ALWAYS F\ND 9 SOCIETY A MAJORITY ( DEP5D5T1 UN/ABLE MEMB]S3 WOM51 *ILDR51 /UPID ONES--BR\<T UP ON MALICE1 & :O SIDE ) MALICE4 ,BUT ! WORLD \<T TO BE RUL$ BY REASON1 BY GOODNESS2 !N ALL ?IS MAJORITY W\LD BE BR\<T UP ON GOODNESS & W\LD SIDE ) IT4 ,9 ORD] ?AT ?IS %\LD TAKE PLACE IT IS NECESS>Y ?AT REASON & GOODNESS MANIFE/ !MSELVES1 & UNDISMAY$1 ASS]T !IR EXI/5CE2 ?AT IS V]Y IMPORTANT4 

#f7 ,! COMPLEXITY ( KN[L$GE IS A SIGN ( ITS FALS5ESS4 ,?AT :I* IS TRUE IS SIMPLE4 

#g7 ,H[ BAD IT IS ?AT PEOPLE SEEK+ P]FECTION >E PA9$ AT CALUMNY1 AT A DES]V$ BAD NAME 7OR BETT] /ILL1 AT AN UNDES]V$74 ,CALUMNY1 A BAD NAME1 GIVES AN OPPORTUNITY1 DRIVES T[>D AN ACTIVITY1 ! VALUE ( :I* IS ONLY 9 \R CONSCI5CE4 ,?IS IS SO R>E1 SO DIFFICULT1 & SO USEFUL4 ,9VOLUNT>Y SIMPL5ESS IS ! BE/ S*OOL = GOODNESS4.<#c#g#b.> 

#h7 ,I HAVE NOT$ D[N3 0,JU/ICE IS 9SUFFICI5T4 ,IT IS 444.<#c#g#c.> NECESS>Y TO OPPOSE40 ,I CANNOT REMEMB] :AT ?IS MEANS4 

#i7 ,PHYSICAL LABOR IS IMPORTANT1 BECAUSE IT PREV5TS ! M9D FROM WORK+ IDLY & AIMLESSLY4 

#a7 ,P]HAPS IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO KN[ :AT ONE \<T NOT TO ?9K AB\T1 ?AN TO KN[ :AT ONE \<T TO ?9K AB\T4 

.<#b#f#e.> 

#a#a7 ,WOM5 >E WEAK & !Y NOT ONLY DO NOT WANT TO KN[ !IR [N WEAKNESS1 BUT WANT TO BOA/ ( !IR /R5G?4 ,:AT CAN BE MORE DISGU/+8 

#a#b7 ,A GOOD MAN IF HE DOES NOT ACKN[L$GE HIS MI/AKES & TRIES TO JU/IFY HIMSELF CAN BECOME A MON/]4 

#a#c7 444 

,N[ ,NOV4 #b#f4  
,MORN+4 ,Y4 ,P4 

,DID NOT SLEEP & ?\<T3 

#a7 ,EVIL IS ! MAT]IAL = LOVE4 ,)\T EVIL !RE IS NONE & CAN BE NO MANIFE/ATION ( LOVE4 ,GOD IS LOVE1 I4E41 ,GOD MANIFE/S ,HIMSELF TO US 9 VICTORY OV] EVIL1 I4E41 9 LOVE4 ,! QUE/ION ( ! ORIG9 ( EVIL IS JU/ AS ABSURD AS ! QUE/ION ( ! ORIG9 ( ! WORLD4 ,IT IS NOT 0:5CE COMES EVIL80 ?AT ONE MU/ KN[1 BUT 0H[ TO CONQU] IT8 ,H[ TO APPLY LOVE80  

.<#b#f#g.> 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #aiaf 3 #ahih -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,FEBRU>Y #a#i1 #bag 3 #ahih -- ,ADD$4 

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