,BOOK #a1 ,*APT] #ag 

#ahhiahhi 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TRANSLATOR 3 ,B5JAM9 ,R4 ,TUCK] 

,TEXT 3 

0,WE LIV$ AT FIR/ 9 ! C\NTRY1 !N 9 ! CITY1 &1 IF ! F9AL MIS=TUNE HAD NOT HAPP5$1 ,I %\LD HAVE LIV$ ?US UNTIL MY OLD AGE & %\LD !N HAVE BELIEV$ ?AT ,I HAD HAD A GOOD LIFE1--NOT TOO GOOD1 BUT1 ON ! O!R H&1 NOT BAD1--AN EXI/5CE SU* AS O!R PEOPLE LEAD4 ,I %\LD NOT HAVE UND]/OOD ! ABYSS ( MIS=TUNE & IGNOBLE FALSEHOOD 9 :I* ,I FL\ND]$ AB\T1 FEEL+ ?AT SOME?+ WAS NOT RI<T4 ,I FELT1 9 ! FIR/ PLACE1 ?AT ,I1 A MAN1 :O1 ACCORD+ TO MY IDEAS1 \<T TO BE ! MA/]1 WORE ! PETTICOATS1 & ?AT ,I C\LD NOT GET RID ( !M4 ,! PR9CIPAL CAUSE ( MY SUBJECTION WAS ! *ILDR54 ,I %\LD HAVE LIK$ TO FREE MYSELF1 BUT ,I C\LD NOT4 ,BR++ UP ! *ILDR51 & RE/+ UPON !M1 MY WIFE RUL$4 ,I DID NOT !N REALIZE ?AT %E C\LD NOT HELP RUL+1 ESPECIALLY BECAUSE1 9 M>RY+1 %E WAS MORALLY SUP]IOR TO ME1 AS EV]Y Y\NG GIRL IS 9COMP>ABLY SUP]IOR TO ! MAN1 S9CE %E IS 9COMP>ABLY PUR]4 ,/RANGE ?+6 ,! ORD9>Y WIFE 9 \R SOCIETY IS A V]Y COMMONPLACE P]SON OR WORSE1 SELFI%1 GOSSIP+1 :IMSICAL1 :]EAS ! ORD9>Y Y\NG GIRL1 UNTIL ! AGE ( TW5TY1 IS A *>M+ BE+1 READY = EV]Y?+ ?AT IS BEAUTIFUL & L(TY4 ,:Y IS ?IS SO8 ,EVID5TLY BECAUSE HUSB&S P]V]T !M1 & L[] !M TO !IR [N LEVEL4 

0,9 TRU?1 IF BOYS & GIRLS >E BORN EQUAL1 ! LITTLE GIRLS F9D !MSELVES 9 A BETT] SITUATION4 ,9 ! FIR/ PLACE1 ! Y\NG GIRL IS NOT SUBJECT$ TO ! P]V]T+ CONDITIONS TO :I* WE >E SUBJECT$4 ,%E HAS NEI!R CIG>ETTES1 NOR W9E1 NOR C>DS1 NOR COMRADES1 NOR PUBLIC H\SES1 NOR PUBLIC FUNCTIONS4 ,& !N ! *IEF ?+ IS ?AT %E IS PHYSICALLY PURE1 & ?AT IS :Y1 9 M>RY+1 %E IS SUP]IOR TO H] HUSB&4 ,%E IS SUP]IOR TO MAN AS A Y\NG GIRL1 & :5 %E BECOMES A WIFE 9 \R SOCIETY1 :]E !RE IS NO NE$ TO WORK 9 ORD] TO LIVE1 %E BECOMES SUP]IOR1 ALSO1 BY ! GRAVITY ( ! ACTS ( G5]ATION1 BIR?1 & NURS+4 

0,WOMAN1 9 BR++ A *ILD 9TO ! WORLD1 & GIV+ IT H] BOSOM1 SEES CLE>LY ?AT H] AFFAIR IS MORE S]I\S ?AN ! AFFAIR ( MAN1 :O SITS 9 ! ,ZEM/VO1 9 ! C\RT4 ,%E KN[S ?AT 9 !SE FUNCTIONS ! MA9 ?+ IS MONEY1 & MONEY CAN BE MADE 9 DIFF]5T WAYS1 & = ?AT V]Y REASON MONEY IS NOT 9EVITABLY NECESS>Y1 LIKE NURS+ A *ILD4 ,CONSEQU5TLY WOMAN IS NECESS>ILY SUP]IOR TO MAN1 & MU/ RULE4 ,BUT MAN1 9 \R SOCIETY1 NOT ONLY DOES NOT RECOGNIZE ?IS1 BUT1 ON ! CONTR>Y1 ALWAYS LOOKS UPON H] FROM ! HEI<T ( HIS GR&EUR1 DESPIS+ :AT %E DOES4 

0,?US MY WIFE DESPIS$ ME = MY WORK AT ! ,ZEM/VO1 BECAUSE %E GAVE BIR? TO *ILDR5 & NURS$ !M4 ,I1 9 TURN1 ?\<T ?AT WOMAN'S LABOR WAS MO/ CONTEMPTIBLE1 :I* ONE MI<T & %\LD LAU< AT4 

0,AP>T FROM ! O!R MOTIVES1 WE W]E ALSO SEP>AT$ BY A MUTUAL CONTEMPT4 ,\R RELATIONS GREW EV] MORE HO/ILE1 & WE >RIV$ AT ?AT P]IOD :51 NOT ONLY DID DISS5T PROVOKE HO/ILITY1 BUT HO/ILITY PROVOK$ DISS5T4 ,:ATEV] %E MI<T SAY1 ,I WAS SURE 9 ADVANCE TO HOLD A CONTR>Y OP9ION2 & %E ! SAME4 ,T[>D ! F\R? YE> ( \R M>RIAGE IT WAS TACITLY DECID$ BETWE5 US ?AT NO 9TELLECTUAL COMMUNITY WAS POSSIBLE1 & WE MADE NO FUR!R ATTEMPTS AT IT4 ,AS TO ! SIMPLE/ OBJECTS1 WE EA* HELD OB/9ATELY TO \R [N OP9IONS4 ,) /RANG]S WE TALK$ UPON ! MO/ V>I$ & MO/ 9TIMATE MATT]S1 BUT NOT ) EA* O!R4 ,SOMETIMES1 9 LI/5+ TO MY WIFE TALK ) O!RS 9 MY PRES5CE1 ,I SAID TO MYSELF3 ',:AT A WOMAN6 ,EV]Y?+ ?AT %E SAYS IS A LIE6' ,& ,I WAS A/ONI%$ ?AT ! P]SON ) :OM %E WAS CONV]S+ DID NOT SEE ?AT %E WAS LY+4 ,:5 WE W]E TOGE!R2 WE W]E CONDEMN$ TO SIL5CE1 OR TO CONV]SATIONS :I*1 ,I AM SURE1 MI<T HAVE BE5 C>RI$ ON BY ANIMALS4 

0',:AT TIME IS IT8 ,IT IS B$-TIME4 ,:AT IS !RE = D9N] TO-DAY8 ,:]E %ALL WE GO8 ,:AT IS !RE 9 ! NEWSPAP]8 ,! DOCTOR MU/ BE S5T =1 ,LISE HAS A SORE ?ROAT4' 

0,UNLESS WE KEPT )9 ! EXTREMELY N>R[ LIMITS ( SU* CONV]SATION1 IRRITATION WAS SURE TO 5SUE4 ,! PRES5CE ( A ?IRD P]SON RELIEV$ US1 = ?R\< AN 9T]M$I>Y WE C\LD /ILL COMMUNICATE4 ,%E PROBABLY BELIEV$ ?AT %E WAS ALWAYS RI<T4 ,AS = ME1 9 MY [N EYES1 ,I WAS A SA9T BESIDE H]4 

0,! P]IODS ( :AT WE CALL LOVE >RIV$ AS (T5 AS =M]LY4 ,!Y W]E MORE BRUTAL1 )\T REF9EM5T1 )\T ORNAM5T2 BUT !Y W]E %ORT1 & G5]ALLY FOLL[$ BY P]IODS ( IRRITATION )\T CAUSE1 IRRITATION F$ BY ! MO/ TRIVIAL PRETEXTS4 ,WE HAD SPATS AB\T ! C(FEE1 ! TABLE-CLO?1 ! C>RIAGE1 GAMES ( C>DS1--TRIFLES1 9 %ORT1 :I* C\LD NOT BE ( ! LEA/ IMPORTANCE TO EI!R ( US4 ,AS = ME1 A T]RIBLE EXECRATION WAS CONT9UALLY BOIL+ UP )9 ME4 ,I WAT*$ H] P\R ! TEA1 SW+ H] FOOT1 LIFT H] SPOON TO H] M\?1 & BL[ UPON HOT LIQUIDS OR SIP !M1 & ,I DETE/$ H] AS IF !SE HAD BE5 SO MANY CRIMES4 

0,I DID NOT NOTICE ?AT !SE P]IODS ( IRRITATION DEP5D$ V]Y REGUL>LY UPON ! P]IODS ( LOVE4 ,EA* ( ! LATT] WAS FOLL[$ BY ONE ( ! =M]4 ,A P]IOD ( 9T5SE LOVE WAS FOLL[$ BY A LONG P]IOD ( ANG]2 A P]IOD ( MILD LOVE 9DUC$ A MILD IRRITATION4 ,WE DID NOT UND]/& ?AT ?IS LOVE & ?IS HATR$ W]E TWO OPPOSITE FACES ( ! SAME ANIMAL FEEL+4 ,TO LIVE ?US W\LD BE T]RIBLE1 IF ONE UND]/OOD ! PHILOSOPHY ( IT4 ,BUT WE DID NOT P]CEIVE ?IS1 WE DID NOT ANALYZE IT4 ,IT IS AT ONCE ! TORTURE & ! RELIEF ( MAN ?AT1 :5 HE LIVES IRREGUL>LY1 HE CAN *]I% ILLUSIONS AS TO ! MIS]IES ( HIS SITUATION4 ,SO DID WE4 ,%E TRI$ TO =GET H]SELF 9 SUDD5 & ABSORB+ OCCUPATIONS1 9 H\SEHOLD DUTIES1 ! C>E ( ! FURNITURE1 H] DRESS & ?AT ( H] *ILDR51 9 ! $UCATION ( ! LATT]1 & 9 LOOK+ AFT] !IR HEAL?4 ,!SE W]E OCCUPATIONS ?AT DID NOT >ISE FROM ANY IMM$IATE NECESSITY1 BUT %E ACCOMPLI%$ !M AS IF H] LIFE & ?AT ( H] *ILDR5 DEP5D$ ON :E!R ! PA/RY WAS ALL[$ TO BURN1 :E!R A CURTA9 WAS HANG+ PROP]LY1 :E!R A DRESS WAS A SUCCESS1 :E!R A LESSON WAS WELL LE>N$1 OR :E!R A M$IC9E WAS SWALL[$4 

0,I SAW CLE>LY ?AT TO H] ALL ?IS WAS1 MORE ?AN ANY?+ ELSE1 A MEANS ( =GETT+1 AN 9TOXICATION1 JU/ AS HUNT+1 C>D-PLAY+1 & MY FUNCTIONS AT ! ,ZEM/VO S]V$ ! SAME PURPOSE = ME4 ,IT IS TRUE ?AT 9 ADDITION ,I HAD AN 9TOXICATION LIT]ALLY SPEAK+1--TOBACCO1 :I* ,I SMOK$ 9 L>GE QUANTITIES1 & W9E1 UPON :I* ,I DID NOT GET DRUNK1 BUT ( :I* ,I TOOK TOO MU*4 ,VODKA BE=E MEALS1 & DUR+ MEALS TWO GLASSES ( W9E1 SO ?AT A P]PETUAL MI/ CONCEAL$ ! TURMOIL ( EXI/5CE4 

0,!SE NEW !ORIES ( HYPNOTISM1 ( M5TAL MALADIES1 ( HY/]IA >E NOT SIMPLE /UPIDITIES1 BUT DANG]\S OR EVIL /UPIDITIES4 ,*>COT1 ,I AM SURE1 W\LD HAVE SAID ?AT MY WIFE WAS HY/]ICAL1 & ( ME HE W\LD HAVE SAID ?AT ,I WAS AN ABNORMAL BE+1 & HE W\LD HAVE WANT$ TO TREAT ME4 ,BUT 9 US !RE WAS NO?+ REQUIR+ TREATM5T4 ,ALL ?IS M5TAL MALADY WAS ! SIMPLE RESULT ( ! FACT ?AT WE W]E LIV+ IMMORALLY4 ,?ANKS TO ?IS IMMORAL LIFE1 WE SUFF]$1 &1 TO /IFLE \R SUFF]+S1 WE TRI$ ABNORMAL MEANS1 :I* ! DOCTORS CALL ! 'SYMPTOMS' ( A M5TAL MALADY1--HY/]IA4 

0,!RE WAS NO OCCASION 9 ALL ?IS TO APPLY = TREATM5T TO ,*>COT OR TO ANYBODY ELSE4 ,NEI!R SUGGE/ION NOR BROMIDE W\LD HAVE BE5 EFFECTIVE 9 WORK+ \R CURE4 ,! NE$FUL ?+ WAS AN EXAM9ATION ( ! ORIG9 ( ! EVIL4 ,IT IS AS :5 ONE IS SITT+ ON A NAIL2 IF Y\ SEE ! NAIL1 Y\ SEE ?AT :I* IS IRREGUL> 9 Y\R LIFE1 & Y\ AVOID IT4 ,!N ! PA9 /OPS1 )\T ANY NECESSITY ( /IFL+ IT4 ,\R PA9 >OSE FROM ! IRREGUL>ITY ( \R LIFE1 & ALSO MY JEAL\SY1 MY IRRITABILITY1 & ! NECESSITY ( KEEP+ MYSELF 9 A /ATE ( P]PETUAL SEMI-9TOXICATION BY HUNT+1 C>D-PLAY+1 &1 ABOVE ALL1 ! USE ( W9E & TOBACCO4 ,IT WAS BECAUSE ( ?IS IRREGUL>ITY ?AT MY WIFE SO PASSIONATELY PURSU$ H] OCCUPATIONS4 ,! SUDD5 *ANGES ( H] DISPOSITION1 FROM EXTREME SADNESS TO EXTREME GAIETY1 & H] BABBLE1 >OSE FROM ! NE$ ( =GETT+ H]SELF1 ( =GETT+ H] LIFE1 9 ! CONT9UAL 9TOXICATION ( V>I$ & V]Y BRIEF OCCUPATIONS4 

0,?US WE LIV$ 9 A P]PETUAL FOG1 9 :I* WE DID NOT DI/+UI% \R CONDITION4 ,WE W]E LIKE TWO GALLEY-SLAVES FA/5$ TO ! SAME BALL1 CURS+ EA* O!R1 POISON+ EA* O!R'S EXI/5CE1 & TRY+ TO %AKE EA* O!R (F4 ,I WAS /ILL UNAW>E ?AT N9ETY-N9E FAMILIES \T ( EV]Y HUNDR$ LIVE 9 ! SAME HELL1 & ?AT IT CANNOT BE O!RWISE4 ,I HAD NOT LE>N$ ?IS FACT FROM O!RS OR FROM MYSELF4 ,! CO9CID5CES ?AT >E MET 9 REGUL>1 & EV5 9 IRREGUL> LIFE1 >E SURPRIS+4 ,AT ! V]Y P]IOD :5 ! LIFE ( P>5TS BECOMES IMPOSSIBLE1 IT BECOMES 9DISP5SABLE ?AT !Y GO TO ! CITY TO LIVE1 9 ORD] TO $UCATE !IR *ILDR54 ,?AT IS :AT WE DID40 

,POSDNI*EFF BECAME SIL5T1 & TWICE !RE ESCAP$ HIM1 9 ! HALF-D>KNESS1 SI<S1 :I* AT ?AT MOM5T SEEM$ TO ME LIKE SUPPRESS$ SOBS4 ,!N HE CONT9U$4 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahhh 3 ,BOOK #a1 ,*APT] #ag -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,FEBRU>Y #a#f1 #bag 3 ,BOOK #a1 ,*APT] #ag -- ,ADD$4 

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