,*APT] #be 

#ahiaahia 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TRANSLATOR 3 ,ISABEL ,FLOR5CE ,HAPGOOD 

,TEXT 3 

0,I HAD TO GO TW5TY-FIVE V]/S BY C>RIAGE & EI<T H\RS BY TRA94 ,BY C>RIAGE IT WAS A V]Y PLEASANT J\RNEY4 ,! COOLNESS ( AUTUMN WAS ACCOMPANI$ BY A BRILLIANT SUN4 ,Y\ KN[ ! WEA!R :5 ! :EELS IMPR9T !MSELVES UPON ! DIRTY ROAD4 ,! ROAD WAS LEVEL1 & ! LI<T /RONG1 & ! AIR /R5G!N+4 ,! T>ANTASS WAS COM=TABLE4 ,AS ,I LOOK$ AT ! HORSES1 ! FIELDS1 & ! PEOPLE :OM WE PASS$1 ,I =GOT :]E ,I WAS GO+4 ,SOMETIMES IT SEEM$ TO ME ?AT ,I WAS TRAVEL+ )\T AN OBJECT1--SIMPLY PROM5AD+1--& ?AT ,I %\LD GO ON ?US TO ! 5D ( ! WORLD4 ,& ,I WAS HAPPY :5 ,I SO =GOT MYSELF4 ,BUT :5 ,I REMEMB]$ :]E ,I WAS GO+1 ,I SAID TO MYSELF3 ',I %ALL SEE LAT]4 ,DON'T ?9K AB\T IT4' 

0,:5 HALF WAY1 AN 9CID5T HAPP5$ TO DI/RACT ME /ILL FUR!R4 ,! T>ANTASS1 ?\< NEW1 BROKE D[N1 & HAD TO BE REPAIR$4 ,! DELAYS 9 LOOK+ = A TELEGUE1 ! REPAIRS1 ! PAYM5T1 ! TEA 9 ! 9N1 ! CONV]SATION ) ! DVORNIK1 ALL S]V$ TO AMUSE ME4 ,T[>D NI<TFALL ALL WAS READY1 & ,I />T$ (F AGA94 ,BY NI<T ! J\RNEY WAS /ILL PLEASANT] ?AN BY DAY4 ,! MOON 9 ITS FIR/ QU>T]1 A SLI<T FRO/1 ! ROAD /ILL 9 GOOD CONDITION1 ! HORSES1 ! SPRI<TLY COA*MAN1 ALL S]V$ TO PUT ME 9 GOOD SPIRITS4 ,I SC>CELY ?\<T ( :AT AWAIT$ ME1 & WAS GAY P]HAPS BECAUSE ( ! V]Y ?+ ?AT AWAIT$ ME1 & BECAUSE ,I WAS AB\T TO SAY F>EWELL TO ! JOYS ( LIFE4 

0,BUT ?IS TRANQUIL /ATE1 ! P[] ( CONQU]+ MY PREOCCUPATION1 ALL 5D$ ) ! C>RIAGE DRIVE4 ,SC>CELY HAD ,I 5T]$ ! C>S1 :5 ! O!R ?+ BEGAN4 ,?OSE EI<T H\RS ON ! RAIL W]E SO T]RIBLE TO ME ?AT ,I %ALL NEV] =GET !M 9 MY LIFE4 ,WAS IT BECAUSE ON 5T]+ ! C> ,I HAD A VIVID IMAG9ATION ( HAV+ ALREADY >RIV$1 OR BECAUSE ! RAILWAY ACTS UPON PEOPLE 9 SU* AN EXCIT+ FA%ION8 ,AT ANY RATE1 AFT] BO>D+ ! TRA9 ,I C\LD NO LONG] CONTROL MY IMAG9ATION1 :I* 9CESSANTLY1 ) EXTRAORD9>Y VIVACITY1 DREW PICTURES BE=E MY EYES1 EA* MORE CYNICAL ?AN ITS PR$ECESSOR1 :I* K9DL$ MY JEAL\SY4 ,& ALWAYS ! SAME ?+S AB\T :AT WAS HAPP5+ AT HOME DUR+ MY ABS5CE4 ,I BURN$ ) 9DIGNATION1 ) RAGE1 & ) A PECULI> FEEL+ :I* /EEP$ ME 9 HUMILIATION1 AS ,I CONTEMPLAT$ !SE PICTURES4 ,& ,I C\LD NOT TE> MYSELF \T ( ?IS CONDITION4 ,I C\LD NOT HELP LOOK+ AT !M1 ,I C\LD NOT EFFACE !M1 ,I C\LD NOT KEEP FROM EVOK+ !M4 

0,! MORE ,I LOOK$ AT !SE IMAG9>Y PICTURES1 ! MORE ,I BELIEV$ 9 !IR REALITY1 =GETT+ ?AT !Y HAD NO S]I\S F\NDATION4 ,! VIVACITY ( !SE IMAGES SEEM$ TO PROVE TO ME ?AT MY IMAG9ATIONS W]E A REALITY4 ,ONE W\LD HAVE SAID ?AT A DEMON1 AGA9/ MY WILL1 WAS 9V5T+ & BREA?+ 9TO ME ! MO/ T]RIBLE FICTIONS4 ,A CONV]SATION :I* DAT$ A LONG TIME BACK1 ) ! BRO!R ( ,TR\KHAT*EVSKY1 ,I REMEMB]$ AT ?AT MOM5T1 9 A SORT ( EC/ASY1 & IT TORE MY HE>T AS ,I CONNECT$ IT ) ! MUSICIAN & MY WIFE4 ,YES1 IT WAS V]Y LONG AGO4 ,! BRO!R ( ,TR\KHAT*EVSKY1 ANSW]+ MY QUE/IONS AS TO :E!R HE FREQU5T$ DISREPUTABLE H\SES1 SAID ?AT A RESPECTABLE MAN DOES NOT GO :]E HE MAY CONTRACT A DISEASE1 9 A L[ & UNCLEAN SPOT1 :5 ONE CAN F9D AN HONE/ WOMAN4 ,& H]E HE1 HIS BRO!R1 ! MUSICIAN1 HAD F\ND ! HONE/ WOMAN4 ',IT IS TRUE ?AT %E IS NO LONG] 9 H] E>LY Y\?4 ,%E HAS LO/ A TOO? ON ONE SIDE1 & H] FACE IS SLI<TLY BLOAT$1' ?\<T ,I = ,TR\KHAT*EVSKY4 ',BUT :AT IS TO BE DONE8 ,ONE MU/ PR(IT BY :AT ONE HAS4' 

0',YES1 HE IS B\ND TO TAKE H] = HIS MI/RESS1' SAID ,I TO MYSELF AGA92 '& BESIDES1 %E IS NOT DANG]\S4' 

0',NO1 IT IS NOT POSSIBLE' ,I REJO9$ 9 FRI<T4 ',NO?+1 NO?+ ( ! K9D HAS HAPP5$1 & !RE IS NO REASON TO SUPPOSE !RE HAS4 ,DID %E NOT TELL ME ?AT ! V]Y IDEA ?AT ,I C\LD BE JEAL\S ( H] BECAUSE ( HIM WAS HUMILIAT+ TO H]8' ',YES1 BUT %E LI$1' ,I CRI$1 & ALL BEGAN OV] AGA94 

0,!RE W]E ONLY TWO TRAVEL]S 9 MY COMP>TM5T3 AN OLD WOMAN ) H] HUSB&1 NEI!R ( !M V]Y TALKATIVE2 & EV5 !Y GOT \T AT ONE ( ! /ATIONS1 LEAV+ ME ALL ALONE4 ,I WAS LIKE A BEA/ 9 A CAGE4 ,N[ ,I JUMP$ UP & APPROA*$ ! W9D[1 N[ ,I BEGAN TO WALK BACK & =?1 /AGG]+ AS IF ,I HOP$ TO MAKE ! TRA9 GO FA/] BY MY EF=TS1 & ! C> ) ITS SEATS & ITS W9D[S TREMBL$ CONT9UALLY1 AS \RS DOES N[40 

,& ,POSDNI*EFF ROSE ABRUPTLY1 TOOK A FEW /EPS1 & SAT D[N AGA94 

0,OH1 ,I AM AFRAID1 ,I AM AFRAID ( RAILWAY C>RIAGES4 ,FE> SEIZES ME4 ,I SAT D[N AGA91 & ,I SAID TO MYSELF3 ',I MU/ ?9K ( SOME?+ ELSE4 ,= 9/ANCE1 ( ! 9N KEEP] AT :OSE H\SE ,I TOOK TEA4' ,& !N1 9 MY IMAG9ATION >OSE ! DVORNIK1 ) HIS LONG BE>D1 & HIS GR&SON1 A LITTLE FELL[ ( ! SAME AGE AS MY LITTLE ,BASILE4 ,MY LITTLE ,BASILE6 ,MY LITTLE ,BASILE6 ,HE WILL SEE ! MUSICIAN KISS HIS MO!R6 ,:AT ?\<TS WILL PASS ?R\< HIS POOR S\L6 ,BUT :AT DOES ?AT MATT] TO H]6 ,%E LOVES4 

0,& AGA9 IT ALL BEGAN1 ! CIRCLE ( ! SAME ?\<TS4 ,I SUFF]$ SO MU* ?AT AT LA/ ,I DID NOT KN[ :AT TO DO ) MYSELF1 & AN IDEA PASS$ ?R\< MY HEAD ?AT PLEAS$ ME MU*1--TO GET \T UPON ! RAILS1 ?R[ MYSELF UND] ! C>S1 & ?US F9I% EV]Y?+4 ,ONE ?+ PREV5T$ ME FROM DO+ SO4 ,IT WAS PITY6 ,IT WAS PITY = MYSELF1 EVOK+ AT ! SAME TIME A HATR$ = H]1 = HIM1 BUT NOT SO MU* = HIM4 ,T[>D HIM ,I FELT A /RANGE S5TIM5T ( MY HUMILIATION & HIS VICTORY1 BUT T[>D H] A T]RIBLE HATR$4 

0',BUT ,I CANNOT KILL MYSELF & LEAVE H] FREE4 ,%E MU/ SUFF]1 %E MU/ UND]/& AT LEA/ ?AT ,I HAVE SUFF]$1' SAID ,I TO MYSELF4 

0,AT A /ATION ,I SAW PEOPLE DR9K+ AT ! LUN* C\NT]1 & DIRECTLY ,I W5T TO SWALL[ A GLASS ( VODKI4 ,BESIDE ME /OOD A ,JEW1 DR9K+ ALSO4 ,HE BEGAN TO TALK TO ME1 & ,I1 9 ORD] NOT TO BE LEFT ALONE 9 MY COMP>TM5T1 W5T ) HIM 9TO HIS ?IRD-CLASS1 DIRTY1 FULL ( SMOKE1 & COV]$ ) PEEL+S & SUNFL[] SE$S4 ,!RE ,I SAT D[N BESIDE ! ,JEW1 &1 AS IT SEEM$1 HE TOLD MANY ANECDOTES4 

0,FIR/ ,I LI/5$ TO HIM1 BUT ,I DID NOT UND]/& :AT HE SAID4 ,HE NOTIC$ IT1 & EXACT$ MY ATT5TION TO HIS P]SON4 ,!N ,I ROSE & 5T]$ MY [N COMP>TM5T4 

0',I MU/ CONSID]1' SAID ,I TO MYSELF1 ':E!R :AT ,I ?9K IS TRUE1 :E!R !RE IS ANY REASON TO TORM5T MYSELF4' ,I SAT D[N1 WI%+ TO REFLECT QUIETLY2 BUT DIRECTLY1 9/EAD ( ! PEACEFUL REFLECTIONS1 ! SAME ?+ BEGAN AGA94 ,9/EAD ( ! REASON+1 ! PICTURES4 

0',H[ MANY TIMES HAVE ,I TORM5T$ MYSELF 9 ?IS WAY1' ,I ?\<T 7,I RECALL$ PREVI\S & SIMIL> FITS ( JEAL\SY71 '& !N SE5 IT 5D 9 NO?+ AT ALL8 ,IT IS ! SAME N[4 ,P]HAPS1 YES1 SURELY1 ,I %ALL F9D H] QUIETLY SLEEP+4 ,%E WILL AWAK51 %E WILL BE GLAD1 & 9 H] WORDS & LOOKS ,I %ALL SEE ?AT NO?+ HAS HAPP5$1 ?AT ALL ?IS IS VA94 ,AH1 IF IT W\LD ONLY SO TURN \T6' ',BUT NO1 ?AT HAS HAPP5$ TOO (T56 ,N[ ! 5D HAS COME1' A VOICE SAID TO ME4 

0,& AGA9 IT ALL BEGAN4 ,AH1 :AT TORTURE6 ,IT IS NOT TO A HOSPITAL FILL$ ) SYPHILITIC PATI5TS ?AT ,I W\LD TAKE A Y\NG MAN TO DEPRIVE HIM ( ! DESIRE = WOM51 BUT 9TO MY S\L1 TO %[ HIM ! DEMON :I* TORE IT4 ,! FRI<TFUL P>T WAS ?AT ,I RECOGNIZ$ 9 MYSELF AN 9DISPUTABLE RI<T TO ! BODY ( MY WIFE1 AS IF H] BODY W]E 5TIRELY M9E4 ,& AT ! SAME TIME ,I FELT ?AT ,I C\LD NOT POSSESS ?IS BODY1 ?AT IT WAS NOT M9E1 ?AT %E C\LD DO ) IT AS %E LIK$1 & ?AT %E LIK$ TO DO ) IT AS ,I DID NOT LIKE4 ,& ,I WAS P[]LESS AGA9/ HIM & AGA9/ H]4 ,HE1 LIKE ! ,VANKA ( ! SONG1 W\LD S+1 BE=E M\NT+ ! GALL[S1 H[ HE W\LD KISS H] SWEET LIPS1 ETC41 & HE W\LD EV5 HAVE ! BE/ ( IT BE=E DEA?4 ,) H] IT WAS /ILL WORSE4 ,IF %E ,H,A,D ,N,O,T ,D,O,N,E ,I,T1 %E HAD ! DESIRE1 %E WI%$ TO DO IT1 & ,I KNEW ?AT %E DID4 ,?AT WAS WORSE YET4 ,IT W\LD BE BETT] IF %E HAD ALREADY DONE IT1 TO RELIEVE ME ( MY UNC]TA9TY4 

0,9 %ORT1 ,I C\LD NOT SAY :AT ,I DESIR$4 ,I DESIR$ ?AT %E MI<T NOT WANT :AT %E ,M,U,/ WANT4 ,IT WAS COMPLETE MADNESS40 

,FROM 3 ,WIKIS\RCE4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahi 3 ,*APT] #be -- ,PUBLICATION4 

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