,*APT] #be #ahiaahia ,PEOPLE 3 ,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY ,TRANSLATOR 3 ,ISABEL ,FLOR5CE ,HAPGOOD ,TEXT 3 0,I HAD TO GO TW5TY-FIVE V]/S BY C>RIAGE & EIRIAGE IT WAS A V]Y PLEASANT J\RNEY4 ,! COOLNESS ( AUTUMN WAS ACCOMPANI$ BY A BRILLIANT SUN4 ,Y\ KN[ ! WEA!R :5 ! :EELS IMPR9T !MSELVES UPON ! DIRTY ROAD4 ,! ROAD WAS LEVEL1 & ! LIANTASS WAS COM=TABLE4 ,AS ,I LOOK$ AT ! HORSES1 ! FIELDS1 & ! PEOPLE :OM WE PASS$1 ,I =GOT :]E ,I WAS GO+4 ,SOMETIMES IT SEEM$ TO ME ?AT ,I WAS TRAVEL+ )\T AN OBJECT1--SIMPLY PROM5AD+1--& ?AT ,I %\LD GO ON ?US TO ! 5D ( ! WORLD4 ,& ,I WAS HAPPY :5 ,I SO =GOT MYSELF4 ,BUT :5 ,I REMEMB]$ :]E ,I WAS GO+1 ,I SAID TO MYSELF3 ',I %ALL SEE LAT]4 ,DON'T ?9K AB\T IT4' 0,:5 HALF WAY1 AN 9CID5T HAPP5$ TO DI/RACT ME /ILL FUR!R4 ,! T>ANTASS1 ?\< NEW1 BROKE D[N1 & HAD TO BE REPAIR$4 ,! DELAYS 9 LOOK+ = A TELEGUE1 ! REPAIRS1 ! PAYM5T1 ! TEA 9 ! 9N1 ! CONV]SATION ) ! DVORNIK1 ALL S]V$ TO AMUSE ME4 ,T[>D NIT$ (F AGA94 ,BY NIT]1 A SLICELY ?\EWELL TO ! JOYS ( LIFE4 0,BUT ?IS TRANQUIL /ATE1 ! P[] ( CONQU]+ MY PREOCCUPATION1 ALL 5D$ ) ! C>RIAGE DRIVE4 ,SC>CELY HAD ,I 5T]$ ! C>S1 :5 ! O!R ?+ BEGAN4 ,?OSE EI ,I HAD A VIVID IMAG9ATION ( HAV+ ALREADY >RIV$1 OR BECAUSE ! RAILWAY ACTS UPON PEOPLE 9 SU* AN EXCIT+ FA%ION8 ,AT ANY RATE1 AFT] BO>D+ ! TRA9 ,I C\LD NO LONG] CONTROL MY IMAG9ATION1 :I* 9CESSANTLY1 ) EXTRAORD9>Y VIVACITY1 DREW PICTURES BE=E MY EYES1 EA* MORE CYNICAL ?AN ITS PR$ECESSOR1 :I* K9DL$ MY JEAL\SY4 ,& ALWAYS ! SAME ?+S AB\T :AT WAS HAPP5+ AT HOME DUR+ MY ABS5CE4 ,I BURN$ ) 9DIGNATION1 ) RAGE1 & ) A PECULI> FEEL+ :I* /EEP$ ME 9 HUMILIATION1 AS ,I CONTEMPLAT$ !SE PICTURES4 ,& ,I C\LD NOT TE> MYSELF \T ( ?IS CONDITION4 ,I C\LD NOT HELP LOOK+ AT !M1 ,I C\LD NOT EFFACE !M1 ,I C\LD NOT KEEP FROM EVOK+ !M4 0,! MORE ,I LOOK$ AT !SE IMAG9>Y PICTURES1 ! MORE ,I BELIEV$ 9 !IR REALITY1 =GETT+ ?AT !Y HAD NO S]I\S F\NDATION4 ,! VIVACITY ( !SE IMAGES SEEM$ TO PROVE TO ME ?AT MY IMAG9ATIONS W]E A REALITY4 ,ONE W\LD HAVE SAID ?AT A DEMON1 AGA9/ MY WILL1 WAS 9V5T+ & BREA?+ 9TO ME ! MO/ T]RIBLE FICTIONS4 ,A CONV]SATION :I* DAT$ A LONG TIME BACK1 ) ! BRO!R ( ,TR\KHAT*EVSKY1 ,I REMEMB]$ AT ?AT MOM5T1 9 A SORT ( EC/ASY1 & IT TORE MY HE>T AS ,I CONNECT$ IT ) ! MUSICIAN & MY WIFE4 ,YES1 IT WAS V]Y LONG AGO4 ,! BRO!R ( ,TR\KHAT*EVSKY1 ANSW]+ MY QUE/IONS AS TO :E!R HE FREQU5T$ DISREPUTABLE H\SES1 SAID ?AT A RESPECTABLE MAN DOES NOT GO :]E HE MAY CONTRACT A DISEASE1 9 A L[ & UNCLEAN SPOT1 :5 ONE CAN F9D AN HONE/ WOMAN4 ,& H]E HE1 HIS BRO!R1 ! MUSICIAN1 HAD F\ND ! HONE/ WOMAN4 ',IT IS TRUE ?AT %E IS NO LONG] 9 H] E>LY Y\?4 ,%E HAS LO/ A TOO? ON ONE SIDE1 & H] FACE IS SLITM5T3 AN OLD WOMAN ) H] HUSB&1 NEI!R ( !M V]Y TALKATIVE2 & EV5 !Y GOT \T AT ONE ( ! /ATIONS1 LEAV+ ME ALL ALONE4 ,I WAS LIKE A BEA/ 9 A CAGE4 ,N[ ,I JUMP$ UP & APPROA*$ ! W9D[1 N[ ,I BEGAN TO WALK BACK & =?1 /AGG]+ AS IF ,I HOP$ TO MAKE ! TRA9 GO FA/] BY MY EF=TS1 & ! C> ) ITS SEATS & ITS W9D[S TREMBL$ CONT9UALLY1 AS \RS DOES N[40 ,& ,POSDNI*EFF ROSE ABRUPTLY1 TOOK A FEW /EPS1 & SAT D[N AGA94 0,OH1 ,I AM AFRAID1 ,I AM AFRAID ( RAILWAY C>RIAGES4 ,FE> SEIZES ME4 ,I SAT D[N AGA91 & ,I SAID TO MYSELF3 ',I MU/ ?9K ( SOME?+ ELSE4 ,= 9/ANCE1 ( ! 9N KEEP] AT :OSE H\SE ,I TOOK TEA4' ,& !N1 9 MY IMAG9ATION >OSE ! DVORNIK1 ) HIS LONG BE>D1 & HIS GR&SON1 A LITTLE FELL[ ( ! SAME AGE AS MY LITTLE ,BASILE4 ,MY LITTLE ,BASILE6 ,MY LITTLE ,BASILE6 ,HE WILL SEE ! MUSICIAN KISS HIS MO!R6 ,:AT ?\S1 & ?US F9I% EV]Y?+4 ,ONE ?+ PREV5T$ ME FROM DO+ SO4 ,IT WAS PITY6 ,IT WAS PITY = MYSELF1 EVOK+ AT ! SAME TIME A HATR$ = H]1 = HIM1 BUT NOT SO MU* = HIM4 ,T[>D HIM ,I FELT A /RANGE S5TIM5T ( MY HUMILIATION & HIS VICTORY1 BUT T[>D H] A T]RIBLE HATR$4 0',BUT ,I CANNOT KILL MYSELF & LEAVE H] FREE4 ,%E MU/ SUFF]1 %E MU/ UND]/& AT LEA/ ?AT ,I HAVE SUFF]$1' SAID ,I TO MYSELF4 0,AT A /ATION ,I SAW PEOPLE DR9K+ AT ! LUN* C\NT]1 & DIRECTLY ,I W5T TO SWALL[ A GLASS ( VODKI4 ,BESIDE ME /OOD A ,JEW1 DR9K+ ALSO4 ,HE BEGAN TO TALK TO ME1 & ,I1 9 ORD] NOT TO BE LEFT ALONE 9 MY COMP>TM5T1 W5T ) HIM 9TO HIS ?IRD-CLASS1 DIRTY1 FULL ( SMOKE1 & COV]$ ) PEEL+S & SUNFL[] SE$S4 ,!RE ,I SAT D[N BESIDE ! ,JEW1 &1 AS IT SEEM$1 HE TOLD MANY ANECDOTES4 0,FIR/ ,I LI/5$ TO HIM1 BUT ,I DID NOT UND]/& :AT HE SAID4 ,HE NOTIC$ IT1 & EXACT$ MY ATT5TION TO HIS P]SON4 ,!N ,I ROSE & 5T]$ MY [N COMP>TM5T4 0',I MU/ CONSID]1' SAID ,I TO MYSELF1 ':E!R :AT ,I ?9K IS TRUE1 :E!R !RE IS ANY REASON TO TORM5T MYSELF4' ,I SAT D[N1 WI%+ TO REFLECT QUIETLY2 BUT DIRECTLY1 9/EAD ( ! PEACEFUL REFLECTIONS1 ! SAME ?+ BEGAN AGA94 ,9/EAD ( ! REASON+1 ! PICTURES4 0',H[ MANY TIMES HAVE ,I TORM5T$ MYSELF 9 ?IS WAY1' ,I ?\ FITS ( JEAL\SY71 '& !N SE5 IT 5D 9 NO?+ AT ALL8 ,IT IS ! SAME N[4 ,P]HAPS1 YES1 SURELY1 ,I %ALL F9D H] QUIETLY SLEEP+4 ,%E WILL AWAK51 %E WILL BE GLAD1 & 9 H] WORDS & LOOKS ,I %ALL SEE ?AT NO?+ HAS HAPP5$1 ?AT ALL ?IS IS VA94 ,AH1 IF IT W\LD ONLY SO TURN \T6' ',BUT NO1 ?AT HAS HAPP5$ TOO (T56 ,N[ ! 5D HAS COME1' A VOICE SAID TO ME4 0,& AGA9 IT ALL BEGAN4 ,AH1 :AT TORTURE6 ,IT IS NOT TO A HOSPITAL FILL$ ) SYPHILITIC PATI5TS ?AT ,I W\LD TAKE A Y\NG MAN TO DEPRIVE HIM ( ! DESIRE = WOM51 BUT 9TO MY S\L1 TO %[ HIM ! DEMON :I* TORE IT4 ,! FRIT WAS ?AT ,I RECOGNIZ$ 9 MYSELF AN 9DISPUTABLE RI