,TRY+ = ,SPR+S 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,DOT ,MATRIX 

,TEXT 3 

,MORE FAULTS >E COMMITT$ :ILE WE >E TRY+ TO OBLIGE ?AN :ILE WE >E GIV+ (F5SE4 

-- ,TACITUS 

,AS PEOPLE :O REJECT ! /ATUS QUO1 WE >E ALL CRITICS4 ,BUT MO/ ( US HAVE LE>N$ H[ TO CRITIQUE BADLY1 & SO WE EI!R >E1 OR >E P]CEIV$ TO BE1 JUDGM5TAL1 DOGMATIC1 SLOPPY1 & IDEOLOGICAL1 AS OPPOS$ TO HELPFUL1 CONTEXTUAL & 9T]E/+4 

,AN>*I/ CULTURE1 TO ! EXT5T ?AT IT OP]ATES ON MIDDLE CLASS :ITE 7PROTE/ANT7 VALUES1 IS A CULTURE ( 9T]P]SONAL NIC5ESS1 ) A MY?OLOGY ?AT TELLS US ?AT PEOPLE RESPOND BETT] TO SUPPORT & ?AT SUPPORT ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE CALM VOICES & C>EFUL COMMUNICATION1 ?AT GOOD 9T5T ON EV]YONE'S P>T IS NOT ONLY ESS5TIAL BUT IS ALWAYS APP>5T4 7,IF WE >E PAY+ ATT5TION1 WE CAN ALL REMEMB] TIMES :5 PEOPLE HAVE SAID SADI/IC ?+S TO US 9 A CALM VOICE1 & O!R TIMES :5 PEOPLE HAVE HURT US NE$LESSLY FROM GOOD 9T5TIONS47 ,SOMETIMES NONE ( ! ABOVE IS TRUE1 FREQU5TLY IT DOESN'T NE$ TO BE TRUE1 & 9 FACT WE >E HAMP]$ BY ! ASSUMPTION ?AT IT IS TRUE4 ,NOT ONLY ?AT1BUT SUPPORT & C>E LOOK DIFF]5T COM+ FROM DIFF]5T PEOPLE4 ,ESPECIALLY 9 A CULTURE ?AT HAS MIX+ ( DIV]SE PEOPLES1 IT IS 9APPROPRIATE TO EXPECT ?AT NICE1 SUPPORT1 OR C>E1 WILL 7OR %\LD7 ALWAYS IF LOOK ! SAME4 ,! HOMOG5IZATION ( :AT SUPPORT IS SUPPOS$ TO LOOK LIKE 9CREASES AS MORE & MORE PEOPLE RELY ON & LE>N FROM !RAPI/S -- PEOPLE TRA9$ 9 =MAL 9/ITUTIONS TO 9T]ACT ) !IR CLI5TS 9 SPECIFIC WAYS 7WAYS ?AT >E CONSID]$ NEUTRAL1 BUT ?AT REFLECT & PROMOTE VALUES FROM A SPECIFIC CULTURE74 ,& MANY TIMES ?IS 9CREAS+LY N>R[ RANGE ( OPTIONS MEANS ?AT \R BOTTOM L9E IS DEP>TURE1 ?AT IS1 ! CONFLICT RESOLUTION TACTIC ?AT WE FALL BACK ON MORE & MORE IS ! AB&ONM5T ( ! CONFLICT1 BE IT EMBODI$ 9 P]SON1 PLACE1 OR SITUATION4 

,?IS T5D5CY T[>DS AB&ONM5T SEEMS TO 9CREASE H[ (T5 & DESP]ATELY PEOPLE CL+ TO ! RHETORIC ( COMMUNITY4 ,COMMUNITY COMES TO BE MISUND]/OOD AS A PLACE :]E EV]YONE LIKES EA* O!R1 :]E EV]YONE AGREES ) EA* O!R2 IT C\LD BE BETT] UND]/OOD AS A PLACE :]E PEOPLE APPRECIATE :AT !Y LIKE AB\T EA* O!R & LIVE ) :AT !Y DON'T LIKE1 :]E !RE IS 5\< ( A BUFF] ( SIZE & V>IETY TO ALL[ ?AT & :]E1 EV5 IF & :5 PEOPLE LEAVE1 !Y DON'T DISAPPE>4 

LF WE BROAD5 \R RANGE ( CONFLICT OPTIONS1 :AT DO WE HAVE8 ,TALK+ TO PEOPLE MORE1 & MORE CREATIVELY1 AB\T \R PROBLEMS1 & BE+ 5GAG$ 9 O!R PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS MORE & BETT] ?AN WE >E N[4 ,BE+ >\ND LONG 5\< TO SEE ?+S ?R\<1 & 7IF WE TRAVEL7 ( COM+ BACK FREQU5TLY 5\<1 & = LONG 5\<1 TO MA9TA9 CONNECTIONS & 9=MATION AB\T SIGNIFICANT EV5TS4 ,BECOM+ T\<] PEOPLE1 :O *ALL5GE EA* O!R EMOTIONALLY AS WELL AS IDEOLOGICALLY & E?ICALLY1 :O ASK EA* O!R 7& \RSELVES7 H>D QUE/IONS 9CLUD+ 0H[ DO WE LIVE ) 9SOLUBLE DISCREPANCIES80 7,! PO9T ( !SE H>D CONV]SATIONS IS TO 9CREASE \R ABILITY TO MEET EA* O!R'S NE$S 9 REAL LIFE SITUATIONS1 FROM VIOL5CE TO >RE/ TO DRUG USE TO RAIS+ *ILDR5 TO DY+47 

,:AT K9D ( SUPPORT DO WE NE$ TO LE>N 9 ORD] TO BECOME T\<] 7?AT IS1 ABLE & WILL+ TO KEEP FI<T+ = :AT WE WANT :5 ?+S >E DIFFICULT78 ,OBVI\SLY !RE IS NOT ONE ANSW] = ?IS4 ,JU/ AS OBVI\SLY1 WE >E ALL TRAUMATIZ$ BY ?IS CULTURE1 & TO ! EXT5T ?AT WE >E EXPLICITLY & CONSCI\SLY \TSIDE ( ! MA9/REAM1 WE GET /EPP$ ON & BEAT5 UP4 ,SO BE+ G5TLE ) \RSELVES & EA* O!R IS APPROPRIATE4 ,BUT NOT ALWAYS APPROPRIATE4 ,! MORE MONOLI?IC ! CONCEPT ( SUPPORT COMES TO BE1 ! MORE PR\D OR COM=TABLE ! ROLE ( VICTIM1 & ! LESS LIKELY WE >E TO RECOGNIZE \R FULL RANGE ( OPTION = ACT+ 9 ! WORLD4 

,AN APPROPRIATE T\<NESS 9CLUDES BE+ ABLE TO AVOID GETT+ WRAPP$ UP 9 QUE/IONS ( 9T5TION4 7,9T5TION IS TOO (T5 BR\<T UP AS A WAY TO MANIPULATE & DEFLECT47 ,! ABILITY TO GET SOME?+ USEFUL \T ( SOMEONE'S CRITIQUE DOES NOT DEP5D ON H[ WELL-9T5TION$ ! CRITIC IS4 ,H[ MANY /ORIES HAVE WE HE>D ( PEOPLE :O W]E TOLD !Y C\LDN'T DO SOME?+ & W]E MOTIVAT$ TO SUCCE$ BY ?AT RESI/ANCE8 ,H[ MANY TIMES >E WE TOLD ?AT 0WE CAN SUCCE$0 BY PEOPLE :O C>E NO?+ = US & M]ELY WANT TO SELL US SOME?+8 

,AN>*I/S HAVE *OS5 TO BE AGA9/ MO/ ?+S 9 ?IS CULTURE1 HAVE *OS5 TO FI<T ON MO/ POSSIBLE FRONTS4 ,AS P>T ( ?AT FI<T1 WE TAKE ON \R DEEPE/ ASSUMPTIONS AB\T :AT WE >E TAU<T1 AB\T APPROPRIATE RELATION%IPS TO O!R PEOPLE & ! RE/ ( ! WORLD4 ,?IS REQUIRES BE+ T\< 9 A WAY ?AT NICE SOCIETY DOESN'T TEA* US OR SUPPORT4 ,H[ DO WE LE>N TO BE T\< 9 ! WAYS ?AT WE NE$ TO BE8 

,H[ WELL WE >E :O WE WANT TO BE IS AN ISSUE ( LUCK1 :I* WE CAN'T DO ANY?+ AB\T1 & ( WILL1 :I* WE CAN4 

,A GOOD CRITIC IS ! SORC]] :O MAKES SOME HIDD5 SPR+ GA% =? UNEXPECT$LY UND] \R FEET4 

-- ,FRANCOIS ,MAURIAC 

7,S\RCE3 ,AN>*Y3 A J\RNAL ( DESIRE >M$47 

,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
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