,BOOK #a#e1 ,*APT] #ai 

#ahfiahfi 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,!RE WAS NO?+ 9 ,PI]RE'S S\L N[ AT ALL LIKE :AT HAD TR\BL$ IT 
 DUR+ HIS C\RT%IP ( ,HEL5E4 

,HE DID NOT REPEAT TO HIMSELF ) A SICK5+ FEEL+ ( %AME ! WORDS 
 HE HAD SPOK51 OR SAY3 0,OH1 :Y DID ,I NOT SAY ?AT80 &1 
 0,:ATEV] MADE ME SAY ',JE V\S AIME'80 ,ON ! 
 CONTR>Y1 HE N[ REPEAT$ 9 IMAG9ATION EV]Y WORD ?AT HE OR ,NATA%A HAD SPOK5 
 & PICTUR$ EV]Y DETAIL ( H] FACE & SMILE1 & DID NOT WI% TO DIM9I% OR 
 ADD ANY?+1 BUT ONLY TO REPEAT IT AGA9 & AGA94 ,!RE WAS N[ NOT A %AD[ ( 
 D\BT 9 HIS M9D AS TO :E!R :AT HE HAD UND]TAK5 WAS RI<T OR WRONG4 ,ONLY 
 ONE T]RIBLE D\BT SOMETIMES CROSS$ HIS M9D3 0,WASN'T IT ALL A DREAM8 
 ,ISN'T ,PR9CESS ,M>Y MI/AK58 ,AM ,I NOT TOO CONCEIT$ & SELF-CONFID5T8 ,I 
 BELIEVE ALL ?IS--& SUDD5LY ,PR9CESS ,M>Y WILL TELL H]1 & %E WILL BE 
 SURE TO SMILE & SAY3 ',H[ /RANGE6 ,HE MU/ BE DELUD+ HIMSELF4 
 ,DOESN'T HE KN[ ?AT HE IS A MAN1 JU/ A MAN1 :ILE ,I4448 ,I AM SOME?+ 
 ALTOGE!R DIFF]5T & HI<]4'0 

,?AT WAS ! ONLY D\BT (T5 TR\BL+ ,PI]RE4 ,HE DID NOT N[ MAKE ANY 
 PLANS4 ,! HAPP9ESS BE=E HIM APPE>$ SO 9CONCEIVABLE ?AT IF ONLY HE 
 C\LD ATTA9 IT1 IT W\LD BE ! 5D ( ALL ?+S4 ,EV]Y?+ 5D$ ) 
 ?AT4 

,A JOYFUL1 UNEXPECT$ FR5ZY1 ( :I* HE HAD ?\<T HIMSELF 9CAPABLE1 
 POSSESS$ HIM4 ,! :OLE MEAN+ ( LIFE--NOT = HIM ALONE BUT = 
 ! :OLE WORLD--SEEM$ TO HIM C5T]$ 9 HIS LOVE & ! 
 POSSIBILITY ( BE+ LOV$ BY H]4 ,AT TIMES EV]YBODY SEEM$ TO HIM TO BE 
 OCCUPI$ ) ONE ?+ ONLY--HIS FUTURE HAPP9ESS4 ,SOMETIMES IT 
 SEEM$ TO HIM ?AT O!R PEOPLE W]E ALL AS PLEAS$ AS HE WAS HIMSELF & 
 M]ELY TRI$ TO HIDE ?AT PLEASURE BY PRET5D+ TO BE BUSY ) O!R 
 9T]E/S4 ,9 EV]Y WORD & GE/URE HE SAW ALLUSIONS TO HIS HAPP9ESS4 ,HE 
 (T5 SURPRIS$ ?OSE HE MET BY HIS SIGNIFICANTLY HAPPY LOOKS & SMILES 
 :I* SEEM$ TO EXPRESS A SECRET UND]/&+ BETWE5 HIM & !M4 ,& 
 :5 HE REALIZ$ ?AT PEOPLE MI<T NOT BE AW>E ( HIS HAPP9ESS1 HE 
 PITI$ !M ) HIS :OLE HE>T & FELT A DESIRE SOMEH[ TO EXPLA9 TO 
 !M ?AT ALL ?AT OCCUPI$ !M WAS A M]E FRIVOL\S TRIFLE UNWOR?Y ( 
 ATT5TION4 

,:5 IT WAS SUGGE/$ TO HIM ?AT HE %\LD 5T] ! CIVIL S]VICE1 OR 
 :5 ! W> OR ANY G5]AL POLITICAL AFFAIRS W]E DISCUSS$ ON ! 
 ASSUMPTION ?AT EV]YBODY'S WELF>E DEP5D$ ON ?IS OR ?AT ISSUE ( 
 EV5TS1 HE W\LD LI/5 ) A MILD & PITY+ SMILE & SURPRISE PEOPLE 
 BY HIS /RANGE COMM5TS4 ,BUT AT ?IS TIME HE SAW EV]YBODY--BO? 
 ?OSE :O1 AS HE IMAG9$1 UND]/OOD ! REAL MEAN+ ( LIFE 7?AT IS1 
 :AT HE WAS FEEL+7 & ?OSE UN=TUNATES :O EVID5TLY DID NOT 
 UND]/& IT--9 ! BRI<T LI<T ( ! EMOTION ?AT %ONE )9 
 HIMSELF1 & AT ONCE )\T ANY EF=T SAW 9 EV]YONE HE MET EV]Y?+ 
 ?AT WAS GOOD & WOR?Y ( BE+ LOV$4 

,:5 DEAL+ ) ! AFFAIRS & PAP]S ( HIS DEAD WIFE1 H] MEMORY 
 >\S$ 9 HIM NO FEEL+ BUT PITY ?AT %E HAD NOT KN[N ! BLISS HE N[ 
 KNEW4 ,PR9CE ,VASILI1 :O HAV+ OBTA9$ A NEW PO/ & SOME FRE% 
 DECORATIONS WAS P>TICUL>LY PR\D AT ?IS TIME1 SEEM$ TO HIM A PA!TIC1 
 K9DLY OLD MAN MU* TO BE PITI$4 

,(T5 9 AFT]LIFE ,PI]RE RECALL$ ?IS P]IOD ( BLISSFUL 9SANITY4 ,ALL 
 ! VIEWS HE =M$ ( M5 & CIRCUM/ANCES AT ?IS TIME REMA9$ TRUE 
 = HIM ALWAYS4 ,HE NOT ONLY DID NOT R5\NCE !M SUBSEQU5TLY1 BUT :5 
 HE WAS 9 D\BT OR 9W>DLY AT V>IANCE1 HE REF]R$ TO ! VIEWS HE HAD 
 HELD AT ?IS TIME ( HIS MADNESS & !Y ALWAYS PROV$ CORRECT4 

0,I MAY HAVE APPE>$ /RANGE & QUE] !N10 HE ?\<T1 0BUT ,I WAS NOT 
 SO MAD AS ,I SEEM$4 ,ON ! CONTR>Y ,I WAS !N WIS] & HAD MORE 9SI<T 
 ?AN AT ANY O!R TIME1 & UND]/OOD ALL ?AT IS WOR? UND]/&+ 9 
 LIFE1 BECAUSE444 BECAUSE ,I WAS HAPPY40 

,PI]RE'S 9SANITY CONSI/$ 9 NOT WAIT+1 AS HE US$ TO DO1 TO DISCOV] 
 P]SONAL ATTRIBUTES :I* HE T]M$ 0GOOD QUALITIES0 9 PEOPLE BE=E 
 LOV+ !M2 HIS HE>T WAS N[ OV]FL[+ ) LOVE1 & BY LOV+ PEOPLE 
 )\T CAUSE HE DISCOV]$ 9DUBITABLE CAUSES = LOV+ !M4 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahfh 3 ,BOOK #a#e1 ,*APT] #ai -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,FEBRU>Y #a#a1 #bag 3 ,BOOK #a#e1 ,*APT] #ai -- ,ADD$4 

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