,BOOK #i1 ,*APT] #ag 

#ahfiahfi 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,NATA%A WAS CALM] BUT NO HAPPI]4 ,%E NOT M]ELY AVOID$ ALL EXT]NAL 
 =MS ( PLEASURE--BALLS1 PROM5ADES1 CONC]TS1 & !AT]S--BUT 
 %E NEV] LAU<$ )\T A S\ND ( TE>S 9 H] LAU<T]4 ,%E C\LD NOT 
 S+4 ,AS SOON AS %E BEGAN TO LAU<1 OR TRI$ TO S+ BY H]SELF1 TE>S 
 *OK$ H]3 TE>S ( REMORSE1 TE>S AT ! RECOLLECTION ( ?OSE PURE 
 TIMES :I* C\LD NEV] RETURN1 TE>S ( VEXATION ?AT %E %\LD SO 
 USELESSLY HAVE RU9$ H] Y\NG LIFE :I* MI<T HAVE BE5 SO HAPPY4 
 ,LAU<T] & S++ 9 P>TICUL> SEEM$ TO H] LIKE A BLASPHEMY1 9 FACE 
 ( H] SORR[4 ,)\T ANY NE$ ( SELF-RE/RA9T1 NO WI% TO COQUET EV] 
 5T]$ H] HEAD4 ,%E SAID & FELT AT ?AT TIME ?AT NO MAN WAS MORE TO 
 H] ?AN ,NA/ASYA ,IVANOVNA1 ! BUFFOON4 ,SOME?+ /OOD S5T9EL )9 
 H] & =BADE H] EV]Y JOY4 ,BESIDES1 %E HAD LO/ ALL ! OLD 9T]E/S 
 ( H] C>EFREE GIRLI% LIFE ?AT HAD BE5 SO FULL ( HOPE4 ,! PREVI\S 
 AUTUMN1 ! HUNT+1 0,UNCLE10 & ! ,*RI/MAS HOLIDAYS SP5T ) 
 ,NI*OLAS AT ,OTRADNOE W]E :AT %E RECALL$ (T5E/ & MO/ PA9FULLY4 
 ,:AT W\LD %E NOT HAVE GIV5 TO BR+ BACK EV5 A S+LE DAY ( ?AT 
 TIME6 ,BUT IT WAS GONE =EV]4 ,H] PRES5TIM5T AT ! TIME HAD NOT 
 DECEIV$ H]--?AT ?AT /ATE ( FRE$OM & READ9ESS = ANY 
 5JOYM5T W\LD NOT RETURN AGA94 ,YET IT WAS NECESS>Y TO LIVE ON4 

,IT COM=T$ H] TO REFLECT ?AT %E WAS NOT BETT] AS %E HAD =M]LY 
 IMAG9$1 BUT WORSE1 MU* WORSE1 ?AN ANYBODY ELSE 9 ! WORLD4 ,BUT ?IS 
 WAS NOT 5\<4 ,%E KNEW ?AT1 & ASK$ H]SELF1 0,:AT NEXT80 ,BUT !RE 
 WAS NO?+ TO COME4 ,!RE WAS NO JOY 9 LIFE1 YET LIFE WAS PASS+4 
 ,NATA%A APP>5TLY TRI$ NOT TO BE A BURD5 OR A H9DRANCE TO ANYONE1 BUT 
 WANT$ NO?+ = H]SELF4 ,%E KEPT AWAY FROM EV]YONE 9 ! H\SE & 
 FELT AT EASE ONLY ) H] BRO!R ,PETYA4 ,%E LIK$ TO BE ) HIM BETT] 
 ?AN ) ! O!RS1 & :5 ALONE ) HIM %E SOMETIMES LAU<$4 ,%E 
 H>DLY EV] LEFT ! H\SE & ( ?OSE :O CAME TO SEE !M WAS GLAD TO 
 SEE ONLY ONE P]SON1 ,PI]RE4 ,IT W\LD HAVE BE5 IMPOSSIBLE TO TREAT H] 
 ) MORE DELICACY1 GREAT] C>E1 & AT ! SAME TIME MORE S]I\SLY ?AN 
 DID ,C\NT ,BEZUKHOV4 ,NATA%A UNCONSCI\SLY FELT ?IS DELICACY & SO F\ND 
 GREAT PLEASURE 9 HIS SOCIETY4 ,BUT %E WAS NOT EV5 GRATEFUL TO HIM = 
 IT2 NO?+ GOOD ON ,PI]RE'S P>T SEEM$ TO H] TO BE AN EF=T1 IT SEEM$ 
 SO NATURAL = HIM TO BE K9D TO EV]YONE ?AT !RE WAS NO M]IT 9 HIS 
 K9DNESS4 ,SOMETIMES ,NATA%A NOTIC$ EMB>RASSM5T & AWKW>DNESS ON HIS 
 P>T 9 H] PRES5CE1 ESPECIALLY :5 HE WANT$ TO DO SOME?+ TO PLEASE 
 H]1 OR FE>$ ?AT SOME?+ !Y SPOKE ( W\LD AWAK5 MEMORIES 
 DI/RESS+ TO H]4 ,%E NOTIC$ ?IS & ATTRIBUT$ IT TO HIS G5]AL 
 K9DNESS & %YNESS1 :I* %E IMAG9$ MU/ BE ! SAME T[>D EV]YONE 
 AS IT WAS TO H]4 ,AFT] ?OSE 9VOLUNT>Y WORDS--?AT IF HE W]E FREE 
 HE W\LD HAVE ASK$ ON HIS KNEES = H] H& & H] LOVE--UTT]$ 
 AT A MOM5T :5 %E WAS SO /RONGLY AGITAT$1 ,PI]RE NEV] SPOKE TO 
 ,NATA%A ( HIS FEEL+S2 & IT SEEM$ PLA9 TO H] ?AT ?OSE WORDS1 
 :I* HAD !N SO COM=T$ H]1 W]E SPOK5 AS ALL SORTS ( MEAN+LESS 
 WORDS >E SPOK5 TO COM=T A CRY+ *ILD4 ,IT WAS NOT BECAUSE ,PI]RE WAS 
 A M>RI$ MAN1 BUT BECAUSE ,NATA%A FELT V]Y /RONGLY ) HIM ?AT MORAL 
 B>RI] ! ABS5CE ( :I* %E HAD EXP]I5C$ ) ,KURAG9 ?AT IT 
 NEV] 5T]$ H] HEAD ?AT ! RELATIONS BETWE5 HIM & H]SELF C\LD 
 LEAD TO LOVE ON H] P>T1 /ILL LESS ON HIS1 OR EV5 TO ! K9D ( 
 T5D]1 SELF-CONSCI\S1 ROMANTIC FRI5D%IP BETWE5 A MAN & A WOMAN ( 
 :I* %E HAD KN[N SEV]AL 9/ANCES4 

,BE=E ! 5D ( ! FA/ ( ,/4 ,PET]1 ,AGRAF5A ,IVANOVNA ,BELOVA1 A 
 C\NTRY NEI<BOR ( ! ,RO/OVS1 CAME TO ,MOSC[ TO PAY H] DEVOTIONS AT 
 ! %R9ES ( ! ,MOSC[ SA9TS4 ,%E SUGGE/$ ?AT ,NATA%A %\LD FA/ 
 & PREP>E = ,HOLY ,COMMUNION1 & ,NATA%A GLADLY WELCOM$ ! IDEA4 
 ,DESPITE ! DOCTOR'S ORD]S ?AT %E %\LD NOT GO \T E>LY 9 ! 
 MORN+1 ,NATA%A 9SI/$ ON FA/+ & PREP>+ = ! SACRAM5T1 NOT 
 AS !Y G5]ALLY PREP>$ = IT 9 ! ,RO/OV FAMILY BY ATT5D+ ?REE 
 S]VICES 9 !IR [N H\SE1 BUT AS ,AGRAF5A ,IVANOVNA DID1 BY GO+ TO 
 *UR* EV]Y DAY = A WEEK & NOT ONCE MISS+ ,VESP]S1 ,MAT9S1 OR ,MASS4 

,! C\NTESS WAS PLEAS$ ) ,NATA%A'S ZEAL2 AFT] ! POOR RESULTS ( 
 ! M$ICAL TREATM5T1 9 ! DEP?S ( H] HE>T %E HOP$ ?AT PRAY] 
 MI<T HELP H] DAU<T] MORE ?AN M$IC9ES &1 ?\< NOT )\T FE> 
 & CONCEAL+ IT FROM ! DOCTOR1 %E AGRE$ TO ,NATA%A'S WI% & 
 5TRU/$ H] TO ,BELOVA4 ,AGRAF5A ,IVANOVNA US$ TO COME TO WAKE ,NATA%A AT 
 ?REE 9 ! MORN+1 BUT G5]ALLY F\ND H] ALREADY AWAKE4 ,%E WAS 
 AFRAID ( BE+ LATE = ,MAT9S4 ,HA/ILY WA%+1 & MEEKLY PUTT+ ON 
 H] %ABBIE/ DRESS & AN OLD MANTILLA1 ,NATA%A1 %IV]+ 9 ! FRE% 
 AIR1 W5T \T 9TO ! DES]T$ /REETS LIT BY ! CLE> LI<T ( DAWN4 ,BY 
 ,AGRAF5A ,IVANOVNA'S ADVICE ,NATA%A PREP>$ H]SELF NOT 9 !IR [N 
 P>I%1 BUT AT A *UR* :]E1 ACCORD+ TO ! DEV\T ,AGRAF5A ,IVANOVNA1 
 ! PRIE/ WAS A MAN ( V]Y SEV]E & L(TY LIFE4 ,!RE W]E NEV] MANY 
 PEOPLE 9 ! *UR*2 ,NATA%A ALWAYS /OOD BESIDE ,BELOVA 9 ! CU/OM>Y 
 PLACE BE=E AN ICON ( ! ,BLESS$ ,VIRG91 LET 9TO ! SCRE5 BE=E ! 
 *OIR ON ! LEFT SIDE1 & A FEEL+1 NEW TO H]1 ( HUMILITY BE=E 
 SOME?+ GREAT & 9COMPREH5SIBLE1 SEIZ$ H] :5 AT ?AT UNUSUAL 
 MORN+ H\R1 GAZ+ AT ! D>K FACE ( ! ,VIRG9 ILLUM9AT$ BY ! 
 C&LES BURN+ BE=E IT & BY ! MORN+ LI<T FALL+ FROM ! 
 W9D[1 %E LI/5$ TO ! WORDS ( ! S]VICE :I* %E TRI$ TO FOLL[ 
 ) UND]/&+4 ,:5 %E UND]/OOD !M H] P]SONAL FEEL+ BECAME 
 9T]WOV5 9 ! PRAY]S ) %ADES ( ITS [N4 ,:5 %E DID NOT 
 UND]/&1 IT WAS SWEET] /ILL TO ?9K ?AT ! WI% TO UND]/& 
 EV]Y?+ IS PRIDE1 ?AT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO UND]/& ALL1 ?AT IT IS 
 ONLY NECESS>Y TO BELIEVE & TO COMMIT ONESELF TO ,GOD1 :OM %E FELT 
 GUID+ H] S\L AT ?OSE MOM5TS4 ,%E CROSS$ H]SELF1 B[$ L[1 & 
 :5 %E DID NOT UND]/&1 9 HORROR AT H] [N VIL5ESS1 SIMPLY ASK$ 
 ,GOD TO =GIVE H] EV]Y?+1 EV]Y?+1 TO HAVE M]CY UPON H]4 ,! 
 PRAY]S TO :I* %E SURR5D]$ H]SELF MO/ ( ALL W]E ?OSE ( 
 REP5TANCE4 ,ON H] WAY HOME AT AN E>LY H\R :5 %E MET NO ONE BUT 
 BRICKLAY]S GO+ TO WORK OR M5 SWEEP+ ! /REET1 & EV]YBODY )9 
 ! H\SES WAS /ILL ASLEEP1 ,NATA%A EXP]I5C$ A FEEL+ NEW TO H]1 A 
 S5SE ( ! POSSIBILITY ( CORRECT+ H] FAULTS1 ! POSSIBILITY ( A 
 NEW1 CLEAN LIFE1 & ( HAPP9ESS4 

,DUR+ ! :OLE WEEK %E SP5T 9 ?IS WAY1 ?AT FEEL+ GREW EV]Y DAY4 
 ,& ! HAPP9ESS ( TAK+ COMMUNION1 OR 0COMMUN+0 AS ,AGRAF5A 
 ,IVANOVNA1 JOY\SLY PLAY+ ) ! WORD1 CALL$ IT1 SEEM$ TO ,NATA%A SO 
 GREAT ?AT %E FELT %E %\LD NEV] LIVE TILL ?AT BLESS$ ,SUNDAY4 

,BUT ! HAPPY DAY CAME1 & ON ?AT MEMORABLE ,SUNDAY1 :51 DRESS$ 9 
 :ITE MUSL91 %E RETURN$ HOME AFT] COMMUNION1 = ! FIR/ TIME = 
 MANY MON?S %E FELT CALM & NOT OPPRESS$ BY ! ?\<T ( ! LIFE 
 ?AT LAY BE=E H]4 

,! DOCTOR :O CAME TO SEE H] ?AT DAY ORD]$ H] TO CONT9UE ! 
 P[D]S HE HAD PRESCRIB$ A =TNI<T PREVI\SLY4 

0,%E MU/ C]TA9LY GO ON TAK+ !M MORN+ & EV5+10 SAID HE1 
 EVID5TLY S9C]ELY SATISFI$ ) HIS SUCCESS4 0,ONLY1 PLEASE BE 
 P>TICUL> AB\T IT4 

0,BE QUITE EASY10 HE CONT9U$ PLAYFULLY1 AS HE ADROITLY TOOK ! GOLD CO9 
 9 HIS PALM4 0,%E WILL SOON BE S++ & FROLICK+ AB\T4 ,! LA/ 
 M$IC9E HAS DONE H] A V]Y GREAT DEAL ( GOOD4 ,%E HAS FRE%5$ UP V]Y 
 MU*40 

,! C\NTESS1 ) A *E]FUL EXPRESSION ON H] FACE1 LOOK$ D[N AT H] 
 NAILS & SPAT A LITTLE = LUCK AS %E RETURN$ TO ! DRAW+ ROOM4 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahfh 3 ,BOOK #i1 ,*APT] #ag -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,FEBRU>Y #a#a1 #bag 3 ,BOOK #i1 ,*APT] #ag -- ,ADD$4 

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