,*APT] #ab 

#ahhgahhg 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,:AT WAS ITS NATURE8 

,I HAD LIV$ 9 ! C\NTRY1 & !RE ,I WAS CONNECT$ ) ! RU/IC POOR4  ,NOT \T ( HUMILITY1 :I* IS WORSE ?AN PRIDE1 BUT = ! SAKE ( TELL+ ! TRU?1 :I* IS 9DISP5SABLE = ! UND]/&+ ( ! :OLE C\RSE ( MY ?\<TS & S5TIM5TS1 ,I WILL SAY ?AT 9 ! C\NTRY ,I DID V]Y LITTLE = ! POOR1 BUT ! DEM&S :I* W]E MADE UPON ME W]E SO MODE/ ?AT EV5 ?IS LITTLE WAS ( USE TO ! PEOPLE1 & =M$ >\ND ME AN ATMOSPH]E ( AFFECTION & UNION ) ! PEOPLE1 9 :I* IT WAS POSSIBLE TO SOO! ! GNAW+ S5SATION ( REMORSE AT ! 9DEP5D5CE ( MY LIFE4  ,ON GO+ TO ! CITY1 ,I HAD HOP$ TO BE ABLE TO LIVE 9 ! SAME MANN]4  ,BUT H]E ,I 5C\NT]$ WANT ( AN 5TIRELY DIFF]5T SORT4  ,CITY WANT WAS BO? LESS REAL1 & MORE EXACT+ & CRUEL1 ?AN C\NTRY POV]TY4  ,BUT ! PR9CIPAL PO9T WAS1 ?AT !RE WAS SO MU* ( IT 9 ONE SPOT1 ?AT IT PRODUC$ ON ME A FRI<TFUL IMPRESSION4  ,! IMPRESSION :I* ,I EXP]I5C$ 9 ! ,LYAP9SKY H\SE HAD1 AT ! V]Y FIR/1 MADE ME CONSCI\S ( ! DE=MITY ( MY [N LIFE4  ,?IS FEEL+ WAS G5U9E & V]Y P[]FUL4  ,BUT1 NOT)/&+ ITS G5U95ESS & P[]1 ,I WAS1 AT ?AT TIME1 SO WEAK ?AT ,I FE>$ ! ALT]ATION 9 MY LIFE TO :I* ?IS FEEL+ COMM5D$ ME1 & ,I RESORT$ TO A COMPROMISE4  ,I BELIEV$ :AT EV]YBODY TOLD ME1 & EV]YBODY HAS SAID1 EV] S9CE ! WORLD WAS MADE1--?AT !RE IS NO?+ EVIL 9 WEAL? & LUXURY1 ?AT !Y >E GIV5 BY ,GOD1 ?AT ONE MAY CONT9UE TO LIVE AS A RI* MAN1 & YET HELP ! NE$Y4  ,I BELIEV$ ?IS1 & ,I TRI$ TO DO IT4  ,I WROTE AN ESSAY1 9 :I* ,I SUMMON$ ALL RI* PEOPLE TO MY ASSI/ANCE4  ,! RI* PEOPLE ALL ACKN[L$G$ !MSELVES MORALLY B\ND TO AGREE ) ME1 BUT EVID5TLY !Y EI!R DID NOT WI% TO DO ANY ?+1 OR !Y C\LD NOT DO ANY ?+ OR GIVE ANY ?+ TO ! POOR4  ,I BEGAN TO VISIT ! POOR1 & ,I BEHELD :AT ,I HAD NOT 9 ! LEA/ EXPECT$4  ,ON ! ONE H&1 ,I BEHELD 9 ?OSE D5S1 AS ,I CALL$ !M1 PEOPLE :OM IT WAS NOT CONCEIVABLE ?AT ,I %\LD HELP1 BECAUSE !Y W]E WORK+ PEOPLE1 ACCU/OM$ TO LABOR & PRIVATION1 & !RE=E /&+ MU* HI<] & HAV+ A MU* FIRM] FOO?OLD 9 LIFE ?AN MYSELF2 ON ! O!R H&1 ,I SAW UN=TUNATE PEOPLE :OM ,I C\LD NOT AID BECAUSE !Y W]E EXACTLY LIKE MYSELF4  ,! MAJORITY ( ! UN=TUNATES :OM ,I SAW W]E UNHAPPY ONLY BECAUSE !Y HAD LO/ ! CAPACITY1 DESIRE1 & HABIT ( E>N+ !IR [N BREAD2 ?AT IS TO SAY1 !IR UNHAPP9ESS CONSI/$ 9 ! FACT ?AT !Y W]E PRECISELY SU* P]SONS AS MYSELF4 

,I F\ND NO UN=TUNATES :O W]E SICK1 HUNGRY1 OR COLD1 TO :OM ,I C\LD R5D] IMM$IATE ASSI/ANCE1 ) ! SOLIT>Y EXCEPTION ( HUNGRY ,AGAFYA4  ,& ,I BECAME CONV9C$1 ?AT1 ON ACC\NT ( MY REMOT5ESS FROM ! LIVES ( ?OSE PEOPLE :OM ,I DESIR$ TO HELP1 IT W\LD BE ALMO/ IMPOSSIBLE TO F9D ANY SU* UN=TUNATES1 BECAUSE ALL ACTUAL WANTS HAD ALREADY BE5 SUPPLI$ BY ! V]Y PEOPLE AMONG :OM !SE UN=TUNATES LIVE2 &1 MO/ ( ALL1 ,I WAS CONV9C$ ?AT MONEY CANNOT EFFECT ANY *ANGE 9 ! LIFE L$ BY !SE UNHAPPY PEOPLE4 

,I WAS CONV9C$ ( ALL ?IS1 BUT \T ( FALSE %AME AT AB&ON+ :AT ,I HAD ONCE UND]TAK51 BECAUSE ( MY SELF-DELUSION AS A B5EFACTOR1 ,I W5T ON ) ?IS MATT] = A TOL]ABLY LONG TIME1--& W\LD HAVE GONE ON ) IT UNTIL IT CAME TO NO?+ ( ITSELF1--SO ?AT IT WAS ) ! GREATE/ DIFFICULTY ?AT1 ) ! HELP ( ,IVAN ,F$OTIT*1 ,I GOT RID1 AFT] A FA%ION1 AS WELL AS ,I C\LD1 9 ! TAV]N ( ! ,RZHAN(F H\SE1 ( ! ?IRTY-SEV5 RUBLES :I* ,I DID NOT REG>D AS BELONG+ TO ME4 

,( C\RSE ,I MI<T HAVE GONE ON ) ?IS BUS9ESS1 & HAVE MADE \T ( IT A SEMBLANCE ( B5EVOL5CE2 BY URG+ ! PEOPLE :O HAD PROMIS$ ME MONEY1 ,I MI<T HAVE COLLECT$ MORE1 ,I MI<T HAVE DI/RIBUT$ ?IS MONEY1 & CONSOL$ MYSELF ) MY *>ITY2 BUT ,I P]CEIV$1 ON ! ONE H&1 ?AT WE RI* PEOPLE NEI!R WI% NOR >E ABLE TO %>E A PORTION ( \R A SUP]FLUITY ) ! POOR 7WE HAVE SO MANY WANTS ( \R [N71 & ?AT MONEY %\LD NOT BE GIV5 TO ANY ONE1 IF ! OBJECT REALLY BE TO DO GOOD & NOT TO GIVE MONEY ITSELF AT HAPHAZ>D1 AS ,I HAD DONE 9 ! ,RZHAN(F TAV]N4  ,& ,I GAVE UP ! :OLE ?+1 & W5T (F TO ! C\NTRY ) DESPAIR 9 MY HE>T4 

,9 ! C\NTRY ,I TRI$ TO WRITE AN ESSAY AB\T ALL ?IS ?AT ,I HAD EXP]I5C$1 & TO TELL :Y MY UND]TAK+ HAD NOT SUCCE$$4  ,I WANT$ TO JU/IFY MYSELF AGA9/ ! REPROA*ES :I* HAD BE5 MADE TO ME ON ! SCORE ( MY >TICLE ON ! C5SUS2 ,I WANT$ TO CONVICT SOCIETY ( ITS 9 DIFF]5CE1 & TO /ATE ! CAUSES 9 :I* ?IS CITY POV]TY HAS ITS BIR?1 & ! NECESSITY ( COMBAT+ IT1 & ! MEANS ( DO+ SO :I* ,I SAW4 

,I BEGAN ?IS ESSAY AT ONCE1 & IT SEEM$ TO ME ?AT 9 IT ,I WAS SAY+ A V]Y GREAT DEAL ?AT WAS IMPORTANT4  ,BUT TOIL AS ,I W\LD OV] IT1 & 9 SPITE ( ! ABUNDANCE ( MAT]IALS1 9 SPITE ( ! SUP]FLUITY ( !M EV51 ,I C\LD NOT GET ?\< ?AT ESSAY2 & SO ,I DID NOT F9I% IT UNTIL ! PRES5T YE>1 BECAUSE ( ! IRRITATION UND] ! 9FLU5CE ( :I* ,I WROTE1 BECAUSE ,I HAD NOT GONE ?R\< ALL ?AT WAS REQUISITE 9 ORD] TO BE> MYSELF PROP]LY 9 RELATION TO ?IS ESSAY1 BECAUSE ,I DID NOT SIMPLY & CLE>LY ACKN[L$GE ! CAUSE ( ALL ?IS1--A V]Y SIMPLE CAUSE1 :I* HAD ITS ROOT 9 MYSELF4 

,9 ! DOMA9 ( MORALS1 ONE V]Y REM>KABLE & TOO LITTLE NOT$ PH5OM5ON PRES5TS ITSELF4 

,IF ,I TELL A MAN :O KN[S NO?+ AB\T IT1 :AT ,I KN[ AB\T GEOLOGY1 A/RONOMY1 HI/ORY1 PHYSICS1 & MA!MATICS1 ?AT MAN RECEIVES 5TIRELY NEW 9=MATION1 & HE NEV] SAYS TO ME3 0,WELL1 :AT IS !RE NEW 9 ?AT8  ,EV]YBODY KN[S ?AT1 & ,I HAVE KN[N IT ?IS LONG :ILE40  ,BUT TELL ?AT SAME MAN ! MO/ L(TY TRU?1 EXPRESS$ 9 ! CLE>E/1 MO/ CONCISE MANN]1 AS IT HAS NEV] BE=E BE5 EXPRESS$1 & EV]Y ORD9>Y 9DIVIDUAL1 ESPECIALLY ONE :O TAKES NO P>TICUL> 9T]E/ 9 MORAL QUE/IONS1 OR1 EV5 MORE1 ONE TO :OM ! MORAL TRU? /AT$ BY Y\ IS DISPLEAS+1 WILL 9FALLIBLY SAY TO Y\3 0,WELL1 :O DOES NOT KN[ ?AT8  ,?AT WAS KN[N & SAID LONG AGO40  ,IT REALLY SEEMS TO HIM ?AT ?IS HAS BE5 SAID LONG AGO & 9 JU/ ?IS WAY4  ,ONLY ?OSE TO :OM MORAL TRU?S >E DE> & IMPORTANT KN[ H[ IMPORTANT & PRECI\S !Y >E1 & ) :AT PROLONG$ LABOR ! ELUCIDATION1 ! SIMPLIFICATION1 ( MORAL TRU?S1 !IR TRANSIT FROM ! /ATE ( A MI/Y1 9DEF9ITELY RECOGNIZ$ SUPPOSITION1 & DESIRE1 FROM 9DI/9CT1 9COH]5T EXPRESSIONS1 TO A FIRM & DEF9ITE EXPRESSION1 UNAVOIDABLY DEM&+ CORRESPOND+ CONCESSIONS1 >E ATTA9$4 

,WE HAVE ALL BECOME ACCU/OM$ TO ?9K ?AT MORAL 9/RUCTION IS A MO/ ABSURD & TIRESOME ?+1 9 :I* !RE CAN BE NO?+ NEW OR 9T]E/+2 & YET ALL HUMAN LIFE1 TOGE!R ) ALL ! V>I$ & COMPLICAT$ ACTIVITIES1 APP>5TLY 9DEP5D5T1 ( MORALITY1 BO? GOV]NM5TAL & SCI5TIFIC1 & >TI/IC & COMM]CIAL1 HAS NO O!R AIM ?AN ! GREAT] & GREAT] ELUCIDATION1 CONFIRMATION1 SIMPLIFICATION1 & ACCESSIBILITY ( MORAL TRU?4 

,I REMEMB] ?AT ,I WAS ONCE WALK+ ALONG ! /REET 9 ,MOSC[1 & 9 FRONT ( ME ,I SAW A MAN COME \T & GAZE ATT5TIVELY AT ! /ONES ( ! SIDEWALK1 AFT] :I* HE SELECT$ ONE /ONE1 SEAT$ HIMSELF ON IT1 & BEGAN TO PLANE 7AS IT SEEM$ TO ME7 OR TO RUB IT ) ! GREATE/ DILIG5CE & =CE4  0,:AT IS HE DO+ TO ! SIDEWALK80 ,I SAID TO MYSELF4  ,ON GO+ CLOSE TO HIM1 ,I SAW :AT ! MAN WAS DO+4  ,HE WAS A Y\NG FELL[ FROM A MEAT-%OP2 HE WAS :ETT+ HIS KNIFE ON ! /ONE ( ! PAVEM5T4  ,HE WAS NOT ?9K+ AT ALL ( ! /ONES :5 HE SCRUT9IZ$ !M1 /ILL LESS WAS HE ?9K+ ( !M :5 HE WAS ACCOMPLI%+ HIS TASK3 HE WAS :ETT+ HIS KNIFE4  ,HE WAS OBLIG$ TO :ET HIS KNIFE SO ?AT HE C\LD CUT ! MEAT2 BUT TO ME IT SEEM$ AS ?\< HE W]E DO+ SOME?+ TO ! /ONES ( ! SIDEWALK4  ,JU/ SO IT APPE>S AS ?\< HUMANITY W]E OCCUPI$ ) COMM]CE1 CONV5TIONS1 W>S1 SCI5CES1 >TS2 BUT ONLY ONE BUS9ESS IS ( IMPORTANCE TO IT1 & ) ONLY ONE BUS9ESS IS IT OCCUPI$3 IT IS ELUCIDAT+ TO ITSELF ?OSE MORAL LAWS BY :I* IT LIVES4  ,! MORAL LAWS >E ALREADY 9 EXI/5CE2 HUMANITY IS ONLY ELUCIDAT+ !M1 & ?IS ELUCIDATION SEEMS UNIMPORTANT & IMP]CEPTIBLE = ANY ONE :O HAS NO NE$ ( MORAL LAWS1 :O DOES NOT WI% TO LIVE BY !M4  ,BUT ?IS ELUCIDATION ( ! MORAL LAW IS NOT ONLY WEI<TY1 BUT ! ONLY REAL BUS9ESS ( ALL HUMANITY4  ,?IS ELUCIDATION IS IMP]CEPTIBLE JU/ AS ! DIFF]5CE BETWE5 ! DULL & ! %>P KNIFE IS IMP]CEPTIBLE4  ,! KNIFE IS A KNIFE ALL ! SAME1 & = A P]SON :O IS NOT OBLIG$ TO CUT ANY ?+ ) ?IS KNIFE1 ! DIFF]5CE BETWE5 ! DULL & ! %>P ONE IS IMP]CEPTIBLE4  ,= ! MAN :O HAS COME TO AN UND]/&+ ?AT HIS :OLE LIFE DEP5DS ON ! GREAT] OR LESS DEGREE ( %>PNESS 9 ! KNIFE1--= SU* A MAN1 EV]Y :ETT+ ( IT IS WEI<TY1 & ?AT MAN KN[S ?AT ! KNIFE IS A KNIFE ONLY :5 IT IS %>P1 :5 IT CUTS ?AT :I* NE$S CUTT+4 

,?IS IS :AT HAPP5$ TO ME1 :5 ,I BEGAN TO WRITE MY ESSAY4  ,IT SEEM$ TO ME ?AT ,I KNEW ALL AB\T IT1 ?AT ,I UND]/OOD EV]Y ?+ CONNECT$ ) ?OSE QUE/IONS :I* HAD PRODUC$ ON ME ! IMPRESSIONS ( ! ,LYAP9SKY H\SE1 & ! C5SUS2 BUT :5 ,I ATTEMPT$ TO TAKE ACC\NT ( !M & TO DEMON/RATE !M1 IT TURN$ \T ?AT ! KNIFE W\LD NOT CUT1 & ?AT IT MU/ BE :ETT$4  ,& IT IS ONLY N[1 AFT] ! LAPSE ( ?REE YE>S1 ?AT ,I HAVE FELT ?AT MY KNIFE IS SUFFICI5TLY %>P1 SO ?AT ,I CAN CUT :AT ,I *OOSE4  ,I HAVE LE>N$ V]Y LITTLE ?AT IS NEW4  ,MY ?\<TS >E ALL EXACTLY ! SAME1 BUT !Y W]E DULL] !N1 & !Y ALL SCATT]$ & W\LD NOT UNITE ON ANY ?+2 !RE WAS NO $GE TO !M2 !Y W\LD NOT CONC5TRATE ON ONE PO9T1 ON ! SIMPLE/ & CLE>E/ DECISION1 AS !Y HAVE N[ CONC5TRAT$ !MSELVES4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahhf 3 ,*APT] #ab -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,JANU>Y #a#d1 #bb 3 ,*APT] #ab -- ,ADD$4 

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