,*APT] #db 
,\R ,/EPMO!R 

#ahegaheg 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,NOT)/&+ ?AT ,PAPA HAD NOT MEANT TO RETURN TO ,MOSC[ BE=E ! ,NEW ,YE>1 HE >RIV$ 9 ,OCTOB]1 :5 !RE WAS /ILL GOOD RID+ TO H\NDS TO BE HAD 9 ! C\NTRY4 ,HE ALLEG$ AS HIS REASON = *ANG+ HIS M9D ?AT HIS SUIT WAS %ORTLY TO COME ON BE=E ! ,S5ATE1 BUT ,MIMI AV]R$ ?AT ,AVDOTIA HAD F\ND H]SELF SO 5NUYEE 9 ! C\NTRY1 & HAD SO (T5 TALK$ AB\T ,MOSC[ & PRET5D$ TO BE UNWELL1 ?AT ,PAPA HAD DECID$ TO ACC$E TO H] WI%ES4 0,Y\ SEE1 %E NEV] REALLY LOV$ HIM--%E & H] LOVE ONLY KEPT BUZZ+ AB\T HIS E>S BECAUSE %E WANT$ TO M>RY A RI* MAN10 ADD$ ,MIMI ) A P5SIVE SI< :I* SAID3 0,TO ?9K :AT A C]TA9 O!R P]SON C\LD HAVE DONE = HIM IF ONLY HE HAD VALU$ H]60 

,YET ?AT 0C]TA9 O!R P]SON0 WAS UNJU/ TO ,AVDOTIA1 SEE+ ?AT ! LATT]'S AFFECTION = ,PAPA--! PASSIONATE1 DEVOT$ LOVE ( SELF-AB&ONM5T--REVEAL$ ITSELF 9 H] EV]Y LOOK & WORD & MOVEM5T4 ,AT ! SAME TIME1 ?AT LOVE 9 NO WAY H9D]$ H]1 NOT ONLY FROM BE+ AV]SE TO P>T+ ) H] ADOR$ HUSB&1 BUT ALSO FROM DESIR+ TO VISIT ,MADAME ,ANNETTE'S & ORD] !RE A LOVELY CAP1 A HAT TRIMM$ ) A MAGNIFIC5T BLUE O/RI* FEA!R1 & A BLUE ,V5ETIAN VELVET BODICE :I* WAS TO EXPOSE TO ! PUBLIC GAZE ! SN[Y1 WELL %AP$ BREA/ & >MS :I* NO ONE HAD YET GAZ$ UPON EXCEPT H] HUSB& & MAIDS4 ,( C\RSE ,KAT5KA SID$ ) H] MO!R &1 9 G5]AL1 !RE BECAME E/ABLI%$ BETWE5 ,AVDOTIA & \RSELVES1 FROM ! DAY ( H] >RIVAL1 ! MO/ EXTRAORD9>Y & BURLESQUE ORD] ( RELATIONS4 ,AS SOON AS %E /EPP$ FROM ! C>RIAGE1 ,WOLODA ASSUM$ AN AIR ( GREAT S]I\SNESS & C]EMONY1 &1 ADVANC+ T[>DS H] ) MU* B[+ & SCRAP+1 SAID 9 ! TONE ( ONE :O IS PRES5T+ SOME?+ = ACCEPTANCE3 

0,I HAVE ! HONOR TO GREET ! >RIVAL ( \R DE> ,MAMA1 & TO KISS H] H&40 

0,AH1 MY DE> SON60 %E REPLI$ ) H] BEAUTIFUL1 UNV>Y+ SMILE4 

0,& DO NOT =GET ! Y\NG] SON10 ,I SAID AS ,I ALSO APPROA*$ H] H&1 ) AN 9VOLUNT>Y IMITATION ( ,WOLODA'S VOICE & EXPRESSION4 

,HAD \R /EPMO!R & \RSELVES BE5 C]TA9 ( ANY MUTUAL AFFECTION1 ?AT EXPRESSION MI<T HAVE SIGNIFI$ CONTEMPT = ANY \TW>D MANIFE/ATION ( \R LOVE4 ,HAD WE BE5 ILL-DISPOS$ T[>DS ONE ANO!R1 IT MI<T HAVE D5OT$ IRONY1 OR CONTEMPT = PRET5SE1 OR A DESIRE TO CONCEAL FROM ,PAPA 7/&+ BY ! :ILE7 \R REAL RELATIONS1 AS WELL AS MANY O!R ?\<TS & S5TIM5TS4 ,BUT1 AS A MATT] ( FACT1 ?AT EXPRESSION 7:I* WELL CONSORT$ ) ,AVDOTIA'S [N SPIRIT7 SIMPLY SIGNIFI$ NO?+ AT ALL--SIMPLY CONCEAL$ ! ABS5CE ( ANY DEF9ITE RELATIONS BETWE5 US4 ,9 LAT] LIFE ,I (T5 HAD OCCASION TO REM>K1 9 ! CASE ( O!R FAMILIES :OSE MEMB]S ANTICIPAT$ AMONG !MSELVES RELATIONS NOT ALTOGE!R H>MONI\S1 ! SORT ( PROVISIONAL1 BURLESQUE RELATIONS :I* !Y =M$ = DAILY USE2 & IT WAS JU/ SU* RELATIONS AS ?OSE :I* N[ BECAME E/ABLI%$ BETWE5 \RSELVES & \R /EPMO!R4 ,WE SC>CELY EV] /RAY$ BEYOND !M1 BUT W]E POLITE TO H]1 CONV]S$ ) H] 9 ,FR5*1 B[$ & SCRAP$ BE=E H]1 & CALL$ H] 0*]E ,MAMAN0--A T]M TO :I* %E ALWAYS RESPOND$ 9 A TONE ( SIMIL> LI<TNESS & ) H] BEAUTIFUL1 UN*ANG+ SMILE4 ,ONLY ! LA*RYMOSE ,LUBOT%KA1 ) H] GOOSE FEET & >TLESS PRATTLE1 REALLY LIK$ \R /EPMO!R1 OR TRI$1 9 H] NAIVE & FREQU5TLY AWKW>D WAY1 TO BR+ H] & \RSELVES TOGE!R3 :]E=E ! ONLY P]SON 9 ! WORLD = :OM1 BESIDES ,PAPA1 ,AVDOTIA HAD A SP>K ( AFFECTION WAS ,LUBOT%KA4 ,9DE$1 ,AVDOTIA ALWAYS TREAT$ H] ) A K9D ( GRAVE ADMIRATION & TIMID DEF]5CE :I* GREATLY SURPRIS$ ME4 

,FROM ! FIR/ ,AVDOTIA WAS V]Y FOND ( CALL+ H]SELF \R /EPMO!R & H9T+ ?AT1 S9CE *ILDR5 & S]VANTS USUALLY ADOPT AN UNJU/ & HO/ILE ATTITUDE T[>DS A WOMAN ?US SITUAT$1 H] [N POSITION WAS LIKELY TO PROVE A DIFFICULT ONE4 ,YET1 ?\< %E =ESAW ALL ! UNPLEASANTNESS ( H] PR$ICAM5T1 %E DID NO?+ TO ESCAPE FROM IT BY 7= 9/ANCE7 CONCILIAT+ ?IS ONE1 GIV+ PRES5TS TO ?AT O!R ONE1 & =BE>+ TO GRUMBLE--! LA/ A PRECAUTION :I* IT W\LD HAVE BE5 EASY = H] TO TAKE1 SEE+ ?AT BY NATURE %E WAS 9 NO WAY EXACT+1 AS WELL AS V]Y GOOD-TEMP]$4 ,YET1 NOT ONLY DID %E DO NONE ( !SE ?+S1 BUT H] EXPECTATION ( DIFFICULTIES L$ H] TO ADOPT ! DEF5SIVE BE=E %E HAD BE5 ATTACK$4 ,?AT IS TO SAY1 SUPPOS+ ?AT ! 5TIRE H\SEHOLD WAS DESIGN+ TO %[ H] EV]Y K9D ( 9SULT & ANNOYANCE1 %E W\LD SEE PLOTS :]E NO PLOTS W]E1 & CONSID] ?AT H] MO/ DIGNIFI$ C\RSE WAS TO SUFF] 9 SIL5CE--AN ATTITUDE ( PASSIVITY AS REG>DS W9N+ ,A,FFECTION :I* ( C\RSE L$ TO ,D,I,SAFFECTION4 ,MOREOV]1 %E WAS SO TOTALLY LACK+ 9 ?AT FACULTY ( 0APPREH5SION0 TO :I* ,I HAVE ALREADY REF]R$ AS BE+ HI<LY DEVELOP$ 9 \R H\SEHOLD1 & ALL H] CU/OMS W]E SO UTT]LY OPPOS$ TO ?OSE :I* HAD LONG BE5 ROOT$ 9 \R E/ABLI%M5T1 ?AT ?OSE TWO FACTS ALONE W]E B\ND TO GO AGA9/ H]4 ,FROM ! FIR/1 H] MODE ( LIFE 9 \R TIDY1 ME?ODICAL H\SEHOLD WAS ?AT ( A P]SON ONLY JU/ >RIV$ !RE4 ,SOMETIMES %E W5T TO B$ LATE1 SOMETIMES E>LY2 SOMETIMES %E APPE>$ AT LUN*EON1 SOMETIMES %E DID NOT2 SOMETIMES %E TOOK SUPP]1 SOMETIMES %E DISP5S$ ) IT4 ,:5 WE HAD NO GUE/S ) US %E MORE (T5 ?AN NOT WALK$ AB\T ! H\SE 9 A SEM9UDE CONDITION1 & WAS NOT A%AM$ TO APPE> BE=E US--EV5 BE=E ! S]VANTS--9 A :ITE *EMISE1 ) ONLY A %AWL ?R[N OV] H] B>E %\LD]S4 ,AT FIR/ ?IS ,BOHEMIANISM PLEAS$ ME1 BUT BE=E V]Y LONG IT L$ TO MY LOS+ ! LA/ %R$ ( RESPECT :I* ,I FELT = H]4 ,:AT /RUCK ME AS EV5 MORE /RANGE WAS ! FACT ?AT1 ACCORD+ AS WE HAD OR HAD NOT GUE/S1 %E WAS TWO DIFF]5T WOM54 ,! ONE 7! WOMAN FIGUR+ 9 SOCIETY7 WAS A Y\NG & HEAL?Y1 BUT RA!R COLD1 BEAUTY1 A P]SON RI*LY DRESS$1 NEI!R /UPID NOR CLEV]1 & UNFAIL+LY *E]FUL4 ,! O!R WOMAN 7! ONE 9 EVID5CE :5 NO GUE/S W]E PRES5T7 WAS CONSID]ABLY PA/ H] FIR/ Y\?1 LANGUID1 DEPRESS$1 SLOV5LY1 & 5NUYEE1 ?\< AFFECTIONATE4 ,FREQU5TLY1 AS ,I LOOK$ AT H] :51 SMIL+1 ROSY ) ! W9T] AIR1 & HAPPY 9 ! CONSCI\SNESS ( H] BEAUTY1 %E CAME 9 FROM A R\ND ( CALLS &1 TAK+ (F H] HAT1 W5T TO LOOK AT H]SELF 9 A MIRROR2 OR :51 RU/L+ 9 H] RI*1 DECOLLETE BALL DRESS1 & AT ONCE %Y & PR\D BE=E ! S]VANTS1 %E WAS PASS+ TO H] C>RIAGE2 OR :51 AT ONE ( \R SMALL RECEPTIONS AT HOME1 %E WAS SITT+ DRESS$ 9 A HI< SILK5 DRESS F9I%$ ) SOME SORT ( F9E LACE AB\T H] S(T NECK1 & FLA%+ H] UNV>Y+1 BUT LOVELY1 SMILE >\ND H]--AS ,I LOOK$ AT H] AT SU* TIMES ,I C\LD NOT HELP WOND]+ :AT W\LD HAVE BE5 SAID BY P]SONS :O HAD BE5 RAVI%$ TO BEHOLD H] ?US IF !Y C\LD HAVE SE5 H] AS ,I (T5 SAW H]1 NAMELY1 :51 WAIT+ 9 ! LONELY MIDNI<T H\RS = H] HUSB& TO RETURN FROM HIS CLUB1 %E W\LD WALK LIKE A %AD[ FROM ROOM TO ROOM1 ) H] HAIR DI%EVEL$ & H] =M CLAD 9 A SORT ( DRESS+-JACKET4 ,PRES5TLY1 %E W\LD SIT D[N TO ! PIANO &1 H] BR[S ALL PUCK]$ ) ! EF=T1 PLAY OV] ! ONLY WALTZ ?AT %E KNEW2 AFT] :I* %E W\LD PICK UP A NOVEL1 READ A FEW PAGES SOME:]E 9 ! MIDDLE ( IT1 & ?R[ IT ASIDE4 ,NEXT1 REPAIR+ 9 P]SON TO ! D9+-ROOM1 SO AS NOT TO DI/URB ! S]VANTS1 %E W\LD GET H]SELF A CUCUMB] & SOME COLD VEAL1 & EAT IT /&+ BY ! W9D[SILL--!N ONCE MORE RESUME H] WE>Y1 AIMLESS1 GLOOMY W&]+ FROM ROOM TO ROOM4 ,BUT :AT1 ABOVE ALL O!R ?+S1 CAUS$ E/RANGEM5T BETWE5 US WAS ?AT LACK ( UND]/&+ :I* EXPRESS$ ITSELF *IEFLY 9 ! PECULI> AIR ( 9DULG5T ATT5TION ) :I* %E W\LD LI/5 :5 ANY ONE WAS SPEAK+ TO H] CONC]N+ MATT]S ( :I* %E HAD NO KN[L$GE4 ,IT WAS NOT H] FAULT ?AT %E ACQUIR$ ! UNCONSCI\S HABIT ( B5D+ H] HEAD D[N & SMIL+ SLI<TLY ) H] LIPS ONLY :5 %E F\ND IT NECESS>Y TO CONV]SE ON TOPICS :I* DID NOT 9T]E/ H] 7:I* MEANT ANY TOPIC EXCEPT H]SELF & H] HUSB&72 YET ?AT SMILE & ?AT 9CL9ATION ( ! HEAD1 :5 9CESSANTLY REPEAT$1 C\LD BECOME UNBE>ABLY WE>ISOME4 ,ALSO1 H] PECULI> GAIETY--:I* ALWAYS S\ND$ AS ?\< %E W]E LAU<+ AT H]SELF1 AT Y\1 & AT ! WORLD 9 G5]AL--WAS GAU*E & ANY?+ BUT 9FECTI\S1 :ILE H] SYMPA?Y WAS TOO EVID5TLY =C$4 ,LA/LY1 %E KNEW NO RETIC5CE ) REG>D TO H] CEASELESS RAPTURIZ+ TO ALL & SUNDRY CONC]N+ H] LOVE = ,PAPA4 ,AL?\< %E ONLY SPOKE ! TRU? :5 %E SAID ?AT H] :OLE LIFE WAS B\ND UP ) HIM1 & AL?\< %E PROV$ IT H] LIFE LONG1 WE CONSID]$ SU* UNRE/RA9$1 CONT9UAL 9SI/5CE UPON H] AFFECTION = HIM BAD =M1 & FELT MORE A%AM$ = H] :5 %E WAS DESCANT+ ?US BE=E /RANG]S EV5 ?AN WE DID :5 %E WAS P]PETRAT+ BAD BLUND]S 9 ,FR5*4 ,YET1 AL?\<1 AS ,I HAVE SAID1 %E LOV$ H] HUSB& MORE ?AN ANY?+ ELSE 9 ! WORLD1 & HE TOO HAD A GREAT AFFECTION = H] 7OR AT ALL EV5TS HE HAD AT FIR/1 & :5 HE SAW ?AT O!RS BESIDES HIMSELF ADMIR$ H] BEAUTY71 IT SEEM$ ALMO/ AS ?\< %E PURPOSELY DID EV]Y?+ MO/ LIKELY TO DISPLEASE HIM--SIMPLY TO PROVE TO HIM ! /R5G? ( H] LOVE1 H] READ9ESS TO SACRIFICE H]SELF = HIS SAKE1 & ! FACT ?AT H] ONE AIM 9 LIFE WAS TO W9 HIS AFFECTION6 ,%E WAS FOND ( DISPLAY1 & MY FA!R TOO LIK$ TO SEE H] AS A BEAUTY :O EXCIT$ WOND] & ADMIRATION2 YET %E SACRIFIC$ H] WEAKNESS = F9E CLO!S TO H] LOVE = HIM1 & GREW MORE & MORE ACCU/OM$ TO REMA9 AT HOME 9 A PLA9 GRAY BL\SE4 ,AGA91 ,PAPA CONSID]$ FRE$OM & EQUALITY TO BE 9DISP5SABLE CONDITIONS ( FAMILY LIFE1 & HOP$ ?AT HIS FAVORITE ,LUBOT%KA & HIS K9DHE>T$ Y\NG WIFE W\LD BECOME S9C]E FRI5DS2 YET ONCE AGA9 ,AVDOTIA SACRIFIC$ H]SELF BY CONSID]+ IT 9CUMB5T UPON H] TO PAY ! 0REAL MI/RESS ( ! H\SE10 AS %E CALL$ ,LUBOT%KA1 AN AM\NT ( DEF]5CE :I* ONLY %OCK$ & ANNOY$ MY FA!R4 ,LIKEWISE1 HE PLAY$ C>DS A GREAT DEAL ?AT W9T]1 & LO/ CONSID]ABLE SUMS T[>DS ! 5D ( IT1 :]E=E1 UNWILL+1 AS USUAL1 TO LET HIS GAMBL+ AFFAIRS 9TRUDE UPON HIS FAMILY LIFE1 HE BEGAN TO PRES]VE COMPLETE SECRECY CONC]N+ HIS PLAY2 YET ,AVDOTIA1 ?\< (T5 AIL+1 AS WELL AS1 T[>DS ! 5D ( ! W9T]1 5CE9TE1 CONSID]$ H]SELF B\ND ALWAYS TO SIT UP 79 A GRAY BL\SE1 & ) H] HAIR DI%EVEL$7 = MY FA!R :51 AT1 SAY1 F\R OR FIVE O'CLOCK 9 ! MORN+1 HE RETURN$ HOME FROM ! CLUB A%AM$1 DEPLET$ 9 POCKET1 & WE>Y4 ,%E W\LD ASK HIM ABS5T-M9D$LY :E!R HE HAD BE5 =TUNATE 9 PLAY1 & LI/5 ) 9DULG5T ATT5TION1 LITTLE NODS ( H] HEAD1 & A FA9T SMILE UPON H] FACE AS HE TOLD H] ( HIS DO+S AT ! CLUB & BEGG$ H]1 = AB\T ! HUNDR$? TIME1 NEV] TO SIT UP = HIM AGA94 ,YET1 ?\< ,PAPA'S W9N+S OR LOS+S 7UPON :I* HIS SUB/ANCE PRACTICALLY DEP5D$7 9 NO WAY 9T]E/$ H]1 %E WAS ALWAYS ! FIR/ TO MEET HIM :5 HE RETURN$ HOME 9 ! SMALL H\RS ( ! MORN+4 ,?IS %E WAS 9CIT$ TO DO1 NOT ONLY BY ! /R5G? ( H] DEVOTION1 BUT BY A C]TA9 SECRET JEAL\SY FROM :I* %E SUFF]$4 ,NO ONE 9 ! WORLD C\LD P]SUADE H] ?AT IT WAS ,R,E,A,L,L,Y FROM HIS CLUB1 & NOT FROM A MI/RESS'S1 ?AT ,PAPA CAME HOME SO LATE4 ,%E W\LD TRY TO READ LOVE SECRETS 9 HIS FACE1 &1 DISC]N+ NONE !RE1 W\LD SI< ) A SORT ( 5JOYM5T ( H] GRIEF1 & GIVE H]SELF UP ONCE MORE TO ! CONTEMPLATION ( H] UNHAPP9ESS4 

,AS ! RESULT ( !SE & MANY O!R CON/ANT SACRIFICES :I* OCCURR$ 9 ,PAPA'S RELATIONS ) HIS WIFE DUR+ ! LATT] MON?S ( ?AT W9T] 7A TIME :5 HE LO/ MU*1 & WAS !RE=E \T ( SPIRITS71 !RE GRADUALLY GREW UP BETWE5 ! TWO AN 9T]MITT5T FEEL+ ( TACIT HO/ILITY--( RE/RA9$ AV]SION TO ! OBJECT ( DEVOTION ( ! K9D :I* EXPRESSES ITSELF 9 AN UNCONSCI\S EAG]NESS TO %[ ! OBJECT 9 QUE/ION EV]Y POSSIBLE SPECIES ( PETTY ANNOYANCE4 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahef 3 ,*APT] #db -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,JUNE #d1 #bba 3 ,*APT] #db -- ,ADD$4 

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